1
00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:10,658
[MARGE] Hustle your bustle,
kids, we got to go!
2
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,919
[MUNCHING ANGRILY]
3
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,755
Our day is packed with doctor visits.
4
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:18,851
So wrap up your angry food
shoveling and get in the car.
5
00:00:19,002 --> 00:00:22,229
Oh, this is gonna be a long day.
6
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,582
- Oh, I hope so.
- Huh?
7
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:27,601
Don't you get it? This is a setup.
8
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:30,604
Mom and Dad told us we're
gonna have the worst day ever,
9
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:35,759
which means we're really going
to have the best day ever.
10
00:00:35,852 --> 00:00:37,852
- Wha...?
- You and I are about to be
11
00:00:37,946 --> 00:00:39,521
the stars of a "Mom-and-Dad
12
00:00:39,615 --> 00:00:43,358
- in-car bait-and-switch" video.
- Guh?
13
00:00:43,435 --> 00:00:46,545
[GROANS] Put down your books
and read a phone sometime.
14
00:00:47,623 --> 00:00:49,956
[MOTHER] You ready to go
get your new braces?
15
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,275
Guess so.
16
00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:53,110
[MOTHER] Well, we're not doing that.
17
00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:55,036
We're taking you to Krustyland!
18
00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:56,280
Yay!
19
00:00:56,373 --> 00:00:58,799
We're not sprinkling
Grandma's ashes today.
20
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,801
We're going to Krustyland!
21
00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:02,710
[BOTH] Yay!
22
00:01:02,805 --> 00:01:04,621
We're not going to Krustyland.
23
00:01:04,714 --> 00:01:06,623
We're going to church.
24
00:01:06,625 --> 00:01:08,150
[BOTH] Yay!
25
00:01:10,145 --> 00:01:11,737
So Mom and Dad are punking us,
26
00:01:11,964 --> 00:01:14,147
and this is really gonna be a fun thing?
27
00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:17,484
Exactly, we are getting funk'd.
28
00:01:17,636 --> 00:01:18,640
[CAR HORN HONKS]
29
00:01:18,654 --> 00:01:20,195
[BOTH] Krustyland.
30
00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:24,308
We're almost at "the medical center."
31
00:01:24,401 --> 00:01:28,403
I hope I'm tall enough
to ride the EKG machine.
32
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,922
[BOTH LAUGH]
33
00:01:29,998 --> 00:01:31,757
[HOMER] We're here.
34
00:01:31,984 --> 00:01:34,668
[LAUGHTER]
35
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,836
[LISA SCREAMS]
36
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:36,937
Wha...?
37
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,156
This is a doctor's office.
38
00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:40,674
There was no bait and switch.
39
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,934
It was all bait!
40
00:01:42,161 --> 00:01:43,994
No, no. This is Krustyland.
41
00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:45,162
It has to be.
42
00:01:45,255 --> 00:01:46,980
I'm going on the roller coaster.
43
00:01:48,334 --> 00:01:49,591
Whee!
44
00:01:49,685 --> 00:01:52,277
Whee... ze.
45
00:01:52,429 --> 00:01:54,947
Which doctor are you here to see?
46
00:01:55,174 --> 00:01:57,493
- All of them.
- Like most Americans,
47
00:01:57,528 --> 00:02:00,786
our insurance is terrible
and has a giant deductible.
48
00:02:01,013 --> 00:02:02,696
Which we just met yesterday.
49
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,623
Thank you, kidney stones.
50
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:05,849
[GROANS]
51
00:02:05,942 --> 00:02:08,201
And our new insurance
year starts tomorrow.
52
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,704
So today is the only day
that everything's free.
53
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:14,466
So we're doing a whole year
of medical stuff in one day.
54
00:02:14,693 --> 00:02:17,118
Look, I went
to the Krustyland snack bar!
55
00:02:17,212 --> 00:02:19,529
I got 20cc's of super silly saline.
56
00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:22,032
[GIGGLING] Hey-hey!
57
00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:24,551
♪ It's not about the money,
money, money ♪
58
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,551
♪ We don't need your money,
money, money ♪
59
00:02:27,586 --> 00:02:29,982
♪ We just want to
make the world dance ♪
60
00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:32,559
♪ Forget about the price tag ♪
61
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:36,074
♪ Ain't about the, uh,
cha-ching, cha-ching ♪
62
00:02:36,109 --> 00:02:39,140
♪ Ain't about the, yeah,
ba-bling, ba-bling ♪
63
00:02:39,234 --> 00:02:40,808
♪ Want to make the world dance ♪
64
00:02:40,903 --> 00:02:43,570
♪ Forget about the price tag ♪
65
00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:46,573
♪ It's not about the money,
money, money ♪
66
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,334
♪ We don't need your money,
money, money ♪
67
00:02:49,561 --> 00:02:52,504
♪ We just want to make
the world dance... ♪
68
00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:56,057
What a productive, unpleasant day.
69
00:02:56,151 --> 00:02:59,319
We've got to get one nice
thing out of this day.
70
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:01,654
At least take us out for treats.
71
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,156
Treats it is.
72
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,975
We'll even get one for Maggie
for getting her eye test.
73
00:03:05,994 --> 00:03:09,671
♪ Yeah! ♪
74
00:03:11,833 --> 00:03:16,169
One Mandalorian Mango
Jango with 3-CP-Oat milk.
75
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,154
That's $6.99.
76
00:03:18,247 --> 00:03:19,656
[BEEPS]
77
00:03:19,749 --> 00:03:21,933
Enter your tip and sign here.
78
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,511
[WHIMPERING]
79
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,997
Oh, fine.
80
00:03:28,091 --> 00:03:29,899
[MUTTERING]
81
00:03:33,355 --> 00:03:34,687
You want a tip?
82
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,448
It's self-serve. We did all the work.
83
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,534
Hey, that iPad didn't swivel itself.
84
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,016
[GROANS]
85
00:03:43,106 --> 00:03:44,873
[BEEPING]
86
00:03:46,534 --> 00:03:48,043
- [BEEPING CONTINUES]
- [GROANS]
87
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:51,504
[GROANS]
88
00:03:53,375 --> 00:03:55,041
- [GROANS]
- [BEEPING CONTINUES]
89
00:03:55,153 --> 00:03:56,162
[PANTING]
90
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,694
Dad, are you all right?
91
00:03:57,787 --> 00:04:00,880
Oh, I just suffered death
by a thousand swipes,
92
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:03,683
but at least now it's time for my treat.
93
00:04:06,888 --> 00:04:08,705
Here's your Literary Sampler Platter.
94
00:04:08,798 --> 00:04:11,224
Chicken Tenders is the Night,
A Farewell to Parms,
95
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:13,318
Occurrence at Owl Creek Ribs.
96
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:18,064
Mmm... fried references.
97
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,640
My shift's ending,
98
00:04:19,734 --> 00:04:20,884
so I'll just leave this with you.
99
00:04:20,977 --> 00:04:22,068
[GROANS]
100
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:25,054
Better get my
"figuring out the tip" glasses.
101
00:04:25,148 --> 00:04:28,149
Wouldn't be a meal if it
didn't end with a math test.
102
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:31,394
The service fee is already included?
103
00:04:31,487 --> 00:04:32,745
I'm outraged!
104
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:33,913
But also relieved.
105
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,674
At least nobody's
leaning over my shoulder
106
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:37,400
to shame me into leaving a tip.
107
00:04:37,493 --> 00:04:39,585
Actually, there is room at the bottom
108
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,404
for an additional gratuity.
109
00:04:41,497 --> 00:04:43,598
Right next to where I pre-thanked you.
110
00:04:45,427 --> 00:04:47,911
What? They include the tip,
111
00:04:48,004 --> 00:04:50,246
and then I have to tip
on top of the tip?
112
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,672
A tip top tip?
113
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,025
Mm. I'll show them.
114
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,769
- [CLICKS]
- I know that click.
115
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:59,531
"No. Thank you.
116
00:04:59,682 --> 00:05:03,368
Here's one dollar. Okay?"
117
00:05:03,519 --> 00:05:04,869
We're leaving!
118
00:05:09,525 --> 00:05:12,101
Mr. Simpson! Mr. Simpson, wait!
119
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,120
Oh, great.
Here's the part where she says,
120
00:05:14,197 --> 00:05:16,289
"Was there something
wrong with the service?"
121
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:17,549
And I throw potato skins at her.
122
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:21,794
Oh, thank you so much,
you wonderful man!
123
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,947
[MARGE GASPS]
124
00:05:24,081 --> 00:05:27,116
You tipped her $10,000?
125
00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:31,471
No! I tipped her one. "O.K."
126
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,973
Ten K! Ah! [LAUGHS]
127
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,642
I've never had this
much money in my life!
128
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:37,885
Us neither.
129
00:05:37,979 --> 00:05:41,722
Yo, this guy just tipped Sandee $10,000.
130
00:05:41,816 --> 00:05:43,649
You don't know what this means to me.
131
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,468
[CRIES]
132
00:05:45,561 --> 00:05:47,245
We don't have $10,000.
133
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,322
We don't have 10,000 of anything.
134
00:05:49,398 --> 00:05:51,157
Homer, you have to fix this.
135
00:05:51,234 --> 00:05:53,493
Okay, you're right. I got this.
136
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:55,754
Excuse me, can I get that check back?
137
00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:57,046
Why?
138
00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,740
[CRIES] Why?!
139
00:05:59,834 --> 00:06:01,484
- [JEERING]
- What a jerk!
140
00:06:01,577 --> 00:06:05,246
Yo, this guy just stole
$10,000 from Sandee.
141
00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:06,413
- Get him.
- [GRUNTS]
142
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:07,673
[GRUNTING]
143
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:10,101
There was already a
gratuity on the bill.
144
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,936
[GRUNTING]
145
00:06:13,127 --> 00:06:15,774
Why? Why did you want the check back?
146
00:06:17,093 --> 00:06:20,653
So I can underline the $10,000.
147
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,006
[CHEERING]
148
00:06:23,099 --> 00:06:26,600
Yo, this guy just underlined
the $10,000-tip
149
00:06:26,694 --> 00:06:28,861
he gave Sandee, get him!
150
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,663
[CHEERING, WHOOPING]
151
00:06:31,774 --> 00:06:32,849
[GROANS]
152
00:06:37,185 --> 00:06:39,522
- [CHEERING]
- Your accidental tip went viral.
153
00:06:39,615 --> 00:06:41,115
The American dream.
154
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:44,451
Now we'll be in debt
for the rest of our lives!
155
00:06:44,546 --> 00:06:46,712
The American reality.
156
00:06:46,789 --> 00:06:49,140
Look, baby,
no one's madder at me than me,
157
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,716
but me have a plan.
158
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,812
We call the credit card company,
report the card stolen,
159
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,147
and then shave our
heads and join a cult.
160
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,557
One of the ones where you don't have to
161
00:06:57,633 --> 00:06:59,042
have sex with the leader.
162
00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:00,710
There is no such cult!
163
00:07:00,728 --> 00:07:02,469
You need to go back to that restaurant
164
00:07:02,564 --> 00:07:05,381
and explain that this was all a mistake.
165
00:07:05,474 --> 00:07:06,477
I will.
166
00:07:06,568 --> 00:07:08,309
I was gonna go back there anyway
167
00:07:08,403 --> 00:07:12,121
for the bottomless chili fries,
but now I have two reasons.
168
00:07:13,482 --> 00:07:17,502
Okay, time to hit undo
on last night's ten-K typo.
169
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,487
Hey, that's the big tip guy.
170
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,489
Ooh! Can I get an autograph?
171
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,234
Oh, signing things is what
got me into this mess.
172
00:07:25,328 --> 00:07:27,236
Hey! You're the guy on the cover
173
00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:29,088
of the only newspaper left in the world.
174
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,016
[HOMER] I'm in the paper for
something I remember doing.
175
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,501
- Let me get a copy.
- That'll be one dollar.
176
00:07:35,393 --> 00:07:37,080
How much do you think he's gonna tip?
177
00:07:37,173 --> 00:07:39,023
A lot or a whole lot?
178
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,175
Yarr. I'm putting on me slicker,
179
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,862
'cause he's gonna splash the cash.
180
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:47,090
Keep the change, pal.
181
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:48,316
[CHEERING]
182
00:07:48,392 --> 00:07:50,927
The most generous man in town.
183
00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:53,538
Until today, I always felt invisible,
184
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:55,022
like Wonder Woman's plane
185
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,450
or the guy selling
flowers on the off-ramp.
186
00:07:57,526 --> 00:07:59,544
But for the first time, I am seen.
187
00:07:59,621 --> 00:08:03,108
It's not that I wasn't enough,
my tips weren't.
188
00:08:03,143 --> 00:08:07,218
Mr. Monopoly was wrong.
You can put a price on money.
189
00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:10,296
From now on,
I'm gonna tip like Ben Affleck
190
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,949
and J.Lo's out of town, baby.
191
00:08:12,967 --> 00:08:14,875
[CHEERING, WHOOPING]
192
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:18,212
[QUINCY JONES'
"SOUL BOSSA NOVA" PLAYING]
193
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,064
♪ ♪
194
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,038
♪ ♪
195
00:08:46,167 --> 00:08:48,259
[MUSIC STOPS]
196
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:51,596
- [SNAPS]
- [MUSIC RESUMES]
197
00:08:54,126 --> 00:08:55,221
_
198
00:09:01,015 --> 00:09:03,149
[HUMMING "SOUL BOSSA NOVA"]
199
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,688
Marge, I just had
the best day of my life.
200
00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:13,258
They gave my burrito
the most rice of anybody.
201
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:17,847
So that's why I've been
bombarded by overdraft alerts.
202
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,748
_
203
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,884
Don't worry, honey,
I can make it all right.
204
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:25,146
Let me show you how to turn
off those notifications.
205
00:09:25,222 --> 00:09:29,016
Homer, we need to have a serious talk.
206
00:09:29,243 --> 00:09:32,361
Oh, boy, then I'm gonna need
some Mexican courage.
207
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,948
[SLURPS, GULPS]
208
00:09:37,476 --> 00:09:39,827
[SIGHS] You were supposed
to get our money back,
209
00:09:39,978 --> 00:09:41,495
not give away more.
210
00:09:41,722 --> 00:09:44,557
Your tipping has gotten out of control.
211
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,559
But it feels so good to be appreciated.
212
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:48,077
For once, people aren't judging me
213
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:52,414
by the content of my character
but by the content of my wallet.
214
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:55,009
You wiped out our savings
and put us in debt.
215
00:09:55,236 --> 00:09:57,419
And look what it's
doing to our children.
216
00:09:57,513 --> 00:09:59,162
Dad, where's my bike?
217
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,574
How would I know? I don't know.
You probably lost it.
218
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,258
Dad...
219
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,760
I tipped it!
220
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:05,953
I gave it to my barber
221
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,022
because he cleaned up my eyebrows.
222
00:10:08,249 --> 00:10:10,841
[CRYING] I'm so sorry, Bart!
223
00:10:10,918 --> 00:10:12,943
I'm so sorry.
224
00:10:14,939 --> 00:10:16,589
Oh, there, there.
225
00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:17,865
Dad, you have a problem,
226
00:10:18,092 --> 00:10:21,202
but I love you and I'll
always be here for you.
227
00:10:21,429 --> 00:10:22,778
You're a good son.
228
00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:24,446
Here, for your troubles.
229
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,240
- Hey!
- Let this slide
230
00:10:26,267 --> 00:10:28,434
and there's a vacuum
cleaner in it for you.
231
00:10:28,527 --> 00:10:30,694
Homer, this has to stop now!
232
00:10:30,771 --> 00:10:33,789
- Stop it!
- Marge, for once you're right.
233
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,290
I have a serious problem.
234
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,626
But, like any addiction,
it can easily be stopped
235
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,112
by just deciding to stop.
236
00:10:40,205 --> 00:10:42,890
I'm going cold turkey. I swear to you.
237
00:10:43,117 --> 00:10:44,617
I'll never again waste money
238
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:47,395
trying to fill an unfillable void.
239
00:10:50,048 --> 00:10:52,583
Exact change? Huh. That's it?
240
00:10:52,643 --> 00:10:54,718
Oh, I really want to tip you, Moe,
241
00:10:54,812 --> 00:10:56,962
but I promised my wife I'd quit.
242
00:10:57,097 --> 00:10:58,313
Here's a thought, Homer.
243
00:10:58,466 --> 00:11:00,149
Uh, what if you took the
moolah out of your pocket,
244
00:11:00,301 --> 00:11:02,559
but you just stop before
anything happened.
245
00:11:02,653 --> 00:11:05,061
You know, uh, everything but the tip.
246
00:11:05,156 --> 00:11:07,973
That doesn't seem like it
could lead to anything.
247
00:11:07,975 --> 00:11:10,126
Sure it couldn't.
248
00:11:17,033 --> 00:11:18,500
We shouldn't have done that.
249
00:11:18,577 --> 00:11:20,928
Does that mean that you want to stop?
250
00:11:21,155 --> 00:11:22,504
No.
251
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,414
[MOANING]
252
00:11:24,508 --> 00:11:26,225
It feels so good.
253
00:11:27,161 --> 00:11:29,085
Don't stop, you generous man.
254
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:30,771
Oh, yeah, give it to me, big boy.
255
00:11:30,848 --> 00:11:32,088
- You like that?
- Oh, that's the spot.
256
00:11:32,166 --> 00:11:33,999
- I can do this all night.
- Right there.
257
00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:35,184
- Tell me you want it.
- Oh, God!
258
00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:36,777
- Yes! Yes!
- Oh, God! Oh, God!
259
00:11:37,004 --> 00:11:39,864
- Oh, God! Oh, God.
- Yes!
260
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,491
I need a new bar.
261
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:44,860
[GRUNTS] Where you going?
262
00:11:45,012 --> 00:11:46,528
I can't stop tipping, Moe.
263
00:11:46,681 --> 00:11:48,013
I'm hooked on the rush.
264
00:11:48,032 --> 00:11:50,398
I got a monkey on my back,
and he's got his hand out.
265
00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:51,850
But what about us?
266
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:55,204
No one service worker
can satisfy my needs.
267
00:11:55,356 --> 00:11:58,382
God help me, I'm a tip-phomaniac.
268
00:11:59,694 --> 00:12:01,844
[SLOWER VERSION OF
"SOUL BOSSA NOVA" PLAYING]
269
00:12:04,381 --> 00:12:05,723
[GROANING]
270
00:12:10,821 --> 00:12:11,898
_
271
00:12:30,315 --> 00:12:32,333
♪ ♪
272
00:12:40,417 --> 00:12:42,384
- _
- ♪ ♪
273
00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:48,195
_
274
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:50,667
[CRYING]
275
00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:53,412
I'm a curse on my family.
276
00:12:53,430 --> 00:12:55,264
They're 20%...
277
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,840
no, 22%...
278
00:12:56,934 --> 00:12:59,235
better off without me.
279
00:13:00,528 --> 00:13:03,989
I'll take my misery to go.
280
00:13:09,980 --> 00:13:11,721
Hey, it's Mr. Generous.
281
00:13:11,815 --> 00:13:13,482
What are you doing here?
282
00:13:13,576 --> 00:13:15,150
I've hit rock bottom
283
00:13:15,244 --> 00:13:17,652
and I need to be with family.
284
00:13:17,747 --> 00:13:20,155
Well, who were those people
you were eating with?
285
00:13:20,249 --> 00:13:21,990
Just my wife and some kids.
286
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:25,735
My real family are the people I tip,
like you.
287
00:13:25,829 --> 00:13:27,737
You love me, right?
288
00:13:27,831 --> 00:13:30,424
Oh, you poor generous man.
289
00:13:30,651 --> 00:13:32,000
I do love you.
290
00:13:32,094 --> 00:13:34,595
You'll always be welcome here.
291
00:13:35,747 --> 00:13:36,780
[MOANS]
292
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,933
You love me, right?
293
00:13:40,010 --> 00:13:42,686
- Creep!
- [SHOUTING]
294
00:13:44,498 --> 00:13:45,564
Leave me alone!
295
00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:48,683
So our transaction was just...
296
00:13:48,836 --> 00:13:50,944
transactional?
297
00:14:01,015 --> 00:14:02,105
[COUGHING]
298
00:14:02,124 --> 00:14:03,957
Am I alive? Is this a dream?
299
00:14:04,184 --> 00:14:05,684
Somebody pinch me.
300
00:14:05,777 --> 00:14:07,185
Ow!
301
00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:09,463
I'm awake, you can stop now.
302
00:14:13,193 --> 00:14:15,527
You saved my life.
303
00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:16,970
Here's a little something
for your troubles.
304
00:14:17,197 --> 00:14:18,621
Why you give me this money?
305
00:14:18,715 --> 00:14:20,532
Fausto no work for crab man.
306
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:21,716
No, it's a tip.
307
00:14:21,811 --> 00:14:23,368
It's all I know.
308
00:14:23,461 --> 00:14:25,295
And it's destroyed my
marriage and my life.
309
00:14:25,389 --> 00:14:29,391
How I wish I had never
heard of thanking people.
310
00:14:29,543 --> 00:14:30,876
Well, your bloated body
311
00:14:30,894 --> 00:14:32,635
drifted to the right neighborhood,
my friend.
312
00:14:32,713 --> 00:14:34,046
Nobody tips here.
313
00:14:34,048 --> 00:14:35,547
It's forbidden.
314
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:36,649
No tipping?
315
00:14:36,733 --> 00:14:38,567
What is this amazing place?
316
00:14:38,643 --> 00:14:40,643
Welcome to Little Europe.
317
00:14:40,737 --> 00:14:42,704
♪ ♪
318
00:14:43,907 --> 00:14:45,557
I'm home.
319
00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:47,483
Yi yo yu.
320
00:14:47,578 --> 00:14:50,896
There's no sign of Homer anywhere.
321
00:14:50,914 --> 00:14:54,081
Okay, the first 24 hours are crucial.
322
00:14:54,116 --> 00:14:55,551
Do you have a recent photo?
323
00:14:57,071 --> 00:14:59,442
Not him. You.
324
00:14:59,477 --> 00:15:00,997
For your dating profile.
325
00:15:01,016 --> 00:15:02,757
- [CAMERA CLICKS]
- This is good.
326
00:15:02,852 --> 00:15:04,076
You look desperate.
327
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:05,501
Guys love that.
328
00:15:05,596 --> 00:15:06,687
I don't want to date.
329
00:15:06,914 --> 00:15:08,504
I want to find my husband.
330
00:15:08,599 --> 00:15:10,506
"Marriage minded."
331
00:15:10,601 --> 00:15:11,917
Don't mention the kids.
332
00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:14,102
Bring them up on date three. [CHUCKLES]
333
00:15:14,196 --> 00:15:16,530
Just before the sex.
334
00:15:16,681 --> 00:15:17,923
Oh, my God.
335
00:15:18,016 --> 00:15:19,849
We only have two
and a half dates to find Dad.
336
00:15:19,943 --> 00:15:21,535
At least we know he's alive.
337
00:15:21,762 --> 00:15:23,519
He's ordering things on Amazon.
338
00:15:23,614 --> 00:15:25,447
A universal power adapter.
339
00:15:25,541 --> 00:15:26,932
Bicycle pants clips.
340
00:15:27,025 --> 00:15:28,876
12-pack of fanny packs?
341
00:15:29,103 --> 00:15:31,545
Case of cologne, but no soap.
342
00:15:31,622 --> 00:15:34,364
I know exactly where he is.
343
00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:36,466
[HUMMING]
344
00:15:37,553 --> 00:15:38,652
Dad?
345
00:15:38,779 --> 00:15:39,961
Hola, mes petite...
346
00:15:40,055 --> 00:15:41,446
how you say? children.
347
00:15:41,539 --> 00:15:44,224
Give your papi a European handshake.
348
00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:46,785
[SMOOCHING]
349
00:15:46,878 --> 00:15:48,896
What are you doing in Little Europe?
350
00:15:49,123 --> 00:15:50,546
I'm going to five different shops
351
00:15:50,641 --> 00:15:53,609
to get the ingredients
to make one sandwich.
352
00:15:55,312 --> 00:15:58,572
One smear of your brownest mustard,
Jorge.
353
00:16:04,638 --> 00:16:07,581
That'll be three
deutsche-lira and 99 pence.
354
00:16:07,808 --> 00:16:09,641
And not a franc more.
355
00:16:09,734 --> 00:16:10,918
Mom's a total mess.
356
00:16:11,145 --> 00:16:12,419
You've got to come home.
357
00:16:12,646 --> 00:16:13,921
This is my home now.
358
00:16:14,148 --> 00:16:15,480
I can live a happy life here,
359
00:16:15,573 --> 00:16:17,925
free from the demon of generosity.
360
00:16:18,152 --> 00:16:19,484
So this is all about tipping?
361
00:16:19,577 --> 00:16:22,337
No, it's about the European mindset
362
00:16:22,431 --> 00:16:23,931
of not tipping.
363
00:16:24,825 --> 00:16:27,184
♪ ♪
364
00:16:30,177 --> 00:16:31,965
_
365
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,809
_
366
00:16:33,810 --> 00:16:35,541
_
367
00:16:35,542 --> 00:16:37,427
_
368
00:16:37,428 --> 00:16:39,391
_
369
00:16:39,392 --> 00:16:41,233
_
370
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,007
_
371
00:16:43,008 --> 00:16:45,007
_
372
00:16:46,366 --> 00:16:49,329
_
373
00:16:50,564 --> 00:16:54,211
- _
- ♪ Let's look, can't you see? ♪
374
00:16:54,212 --> 00:16:57,298
_
375
00:16:57,299 --> 00:17:01,009
- _
- ♪ That's money ♪
376
00:17:01,010 --> 00:17:04,266
_
377
00:17:04,267 --> 00:17:07,313
_
378
00:17:07,314 --> 00:17:09,410
_
379
00:17:09,411 --> 00:17:11,566
_
380
00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:13,846
_
381
00:17:13,847 --> 00:17:15,323
_
382
00:17:15,324 --> 00:17:17,926
_
383
00:17:18,475 --> 00:17:20,231
_
384
00:17:20,232 --> 00:17:22,121
_
385
00:17:22,122 --> 00:17:24,108
_
386
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:26,121
_
387
00:17:26,122 --> 00:17:29,699
_
388
00:17:30,608 --> 00:17:33,841
_
389
00:17:33,842 --> 00:17:38,046
- _
- ♪ That's Bart ♪
390
00:17:38,047 --> 00:17:42,009
- _
- ♪ That's fair ♪
391
00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:46,877
_
392
00:17:47,616 --> 00:17:50,191
Dad, this place is amazing.
393
00:17:50,285 --> 00:17:51,951
I know.
394
00:17:52,178 --> 00:17:54,454
If only Springfield was like this,
395
00:17:54,681 --> 00:17:55,955
then I could go back to your mom
396
00:17:56,182 --> 00:17:59,292
without my addiction
destroying the family.
397
00:18:01,632 --> 00:18:03,688
Dad, if you came back with us,
398
00:18:03,781 --> 00:18:05,356
you could change things.
399
00:18:05,449 --> 00:18:09,026
You could inspire everyone
to make Springfield like here.
400
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,787
You really think Americans
can learn something
401
00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:13,806
from the country of Europe?
402
00:18:14,033 --> 00:18:16,309
Not just learn it,
but steal it and call it our own.
403
00:18:16,536 --> 00:18:18,536
Like pizza or fascism.
404
00:18:18,629 --> 00:18:20,721
I'll do it to heal our family.
405
00:18:20,848 --> 00:18:22,649
Let's grab an early
dinner at 10:00 p.m.,
406
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,542
then ride the mini-Chunnel
back to Springfield.
407
00:18:24,635 --> 00:18:26,727
I'm going to take my
message to the people
408
00:18:26,821 --> 00:18:29,030
who tipping affects the most.
409
00:18:29,548 --> 00:18:32,659
[ANNOUNCER] Live from the
Servers Of America Guild Theater.
410
00:18:32,886 --> 00:18:35,903
It's the 75th Annual SAG Awards.
411
00:18:35,997 --> 00:18:37,054
[CHEERING]
412
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:41,551
Hello, my name is Gary,
and I'll be your presenter this evening.
413
00:18:41,628 --> 00:18:42,777
- [GRUNTS]
- Friends,
414
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,353
waiters, pepper-grinders,
415
00:18:44,447 --> 00:18:46,097
lend me your ears.
416
00:18:46,190 --> 00:18:47,932
My name is Homer Simpson
417
00:18:48,025 --> 00:18:50,101
and I am addicted to tipping.
418
00:18:50,194 --> 00:18:51,769
It was a compulsion so powerful
419
00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:54,547
that I ran away from the woman I love.
420
00:18:55,942 --> 00:18:58,626
Well, I'm here to tell you
there's a better way.
421
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:02,614
What if all restaurant workers
were paid a living wage?
422
00:19:02,632 --> 00:19:04,557
That way you wouldn't
have to rely on tips,
423
00:19:04,784 --> 00:19:08,061
and diners would know
how much everything costs.
424
00:19:08,212 --> 00:19:10,730
Get rid of tips and live a better life.
425
00:19:10,957 --> 00:19:12,232
Who's with me?
426
00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:13,641
[CHEERING]
427
00:19:13,793 --> 00:19:16,310
My fellow wait-staff, this man is right.
428
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:19,964
We can, we shall, we must,
429
00:19:20,057 --> 00:19:22,024
serve justice
430
00:19:22,135 --> 00:19:24,318
with a side of equanimity.
431
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,395
No substitutions.
432
00:19:26,489 --> 00:19:28,156
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
433
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:31,000
♪ ♪
434
00:19:35,331 --> 00:19:38,166
Get rid of tips and live a better life.
435
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,909
Who's with me?
436
00:19:39,986 --> 00:19:42,170
[BOOING]
437
00:19:42,246 --> 00:19:43,671
Get rid of tips?
438
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:46,415
Well, that's how I decide
whose food not to spit in.
439
00:19:46,509 --> 00:19:48,493
This is the worst idea in our industry
440
00:19:48,495 --> 00:19:50,270
since tableside guacamole.
441
00:19:50,346 --> 00:19:53,273
Yo! The guy who tipped Sandee $10,000
442
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:56,017
is trying to take away our tips.
Get him!
443
00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:58,945
[HOMER GRUNTING]
444
00:19:59,096 --> 00:20:00,613
This time it's happening for real!
445
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,740
[GRUNTING]
446
00:20:04,101 --> 00:20:06,344
I can't believe I didn't
fundamentally change
447
00:20:06,437 --> 00:20:09,347
the service economy with
one awards show speech.
448
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,033
Oh, Homie, I know it's hard for you
449
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:14,368
to be generous, but you tried.
450
00:20:14,521 --> 00:20:16,278
And I'm not going to hold it against you
451
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,947
for taking it too far.
452
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:20,616
Seeing you bare your soul
on that stage tonight,
453
00:20:20,710 --> 00:20:23,027
it gave me an idea for how we can fix
454
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:27,348
our money problems and confront
your addiction to tipping.
455
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,368
Hello, my name is Homer.
456
00:20:30,370 --> 00:20:32,537
And I'll be your server tonight.
457
00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:34,055
Would you like still or sparkling water?
458
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,464
Just tap.
459
00:20:35,542 --> 00:20:36,983
And more free bread.
460
00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:38,651
[GROANS] Oh...
461
00:20:48,958 --> 00:20:52,890
♪ Little E.U., Little E.U. ♪
462
00:20:52,892 --> 00:20:55,226
♪ Little E.U. is the place
to be in the party now ♪
463
00:20:55,823 --> 00:20:58,004
♪ Flat price ♪
464
00:20:58,081 --> 00:21:00,173
♪ I'm sane, so sane ♪
465
00:21:00,324 --> 00:21:02,233
♪ Sir, can't you see? ♪
466
00:21:02,326 --> 00:21:03,510
♪ Let's look, can't you see? ♪
467
00:21:03,737 --> 00:21:06,254
♪ Our health care is free ♪
468
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:09,423
♪ And they pay us enough ♪
469
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:10,591
♪ That's money! ♪
470
00:21:10,685 --> 00:21:13,594
♪ To just hand you your stuff ♪
471
00:21:13,688 --> 00:21:14,554
♪ That stuff ♪
472
00:21:14,581 --> 00:21:16,356
♪ Lots of stuff ♪
473
00:21:16,583 --> 00:21:19,341
♪ Don't give us more math to do,
math to do ♪
474
00:21:19,435 --> 00:21:21,361
♪ Let's go! ♪
475
00:21:21,588 --> 00:21:24,179
♪ The printed price
is all that's due ♪
476
00:21:24,348 --> 00:21:25,349
♪ That's fair! ♪
477
00:21:25,441 --> 00:21:27,849
♪ When you're in Little E.U. ♪
478
00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:29,966
♪ That's the place, E.U., baby! ♪
479
00:21:30,001 --> 00:21:31,012
Shh!
480
00:21:34,049 --> 00:21:37,040
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com