1 00:00:09,568 --> 00:00:10,234 [yawns] 2 00:00:10,327 --> 00:00:12,368 [crowing like a rooster] 3 00:00:12,370 --> 00:00:13,828 I really hope you chumps are happy, 4 00:00:13,922 --> 00:00:15,922 'cause I had to open up at 6:00 a.m. here. 5 00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,016 Thank you, Moe. 6 00:00:17,243 --> 00:00:18,425 And thank you, pro football, 7 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,854 for playing your worst games every year in London. 8 00:00:22,005 --> 00:00:23,747 Yeah, the games start so early, 9 00:00:23,766 --> 00:00:26,600 now we can spend Sunday morning as God intended-- 10 00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,028 not in church! 11 00:00:29,104 --> 00:00:31,697 And still drunk from last night. 12 00:00:31,848 --> 00:00:33,681 [British announcer] Welcome back to Wembley Stadium 13 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,183 where the score at the interval 14 00:00:35,277 --> 00:00:37,685 is Jacksonville Jaguars 25, 15 00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:39,872 Buffalo Williams nil. 16 00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:42,449 Oh, boy, I got 100 quid on the Jag-u-ars, 17 00:00:42,601 --> 00:00:44,268 and I don't even know how much that is. 18 00:00:44,361 --> 00:00:46,270 I'm Buffalo all the way. 19 00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:48,363 Ten bob, six shillings, baby. 20 00:00:48,457 --> 00:00:50,440 You know, I've dabbled in a lot of anonymouses 21 00:00:50,534 --> 00:00:51,625 but never gambling. 22 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,886 I always thought betting was for class acts, 23 00:00:54,113 --> 00:00:56,704 like, uh, James Bond or Pete Rose 24 00:00:56,799 --> 00:00:58,282 or Secretariat. 25 00:00:58,375 --> 00:00:59,892 Why don't you give it a try, Moseph? 26 00:01:00,119 --> 00:01:02,636 Yeah, make one little bet on the next game. 27 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:03,878 Baltimore-Detroit. 28 00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:05,380 It's harmless fun. 29 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:08,809 Uh, uh, all right, I guess I could bet a buck. 30 00:01:08,961 --> 00:01:10,736 That's nothing to get too worked up about. 31 00:01:10,963 --> 00:01:11,978 [Moe grunts] 32 00:01:12,131 --> 00:01:14,406 [Homer grunting] 33 00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:16,108 [exasperated grunt] 34 00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:18,577 [Homer] The walrus has his own money. 35 00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:21,138 [announcer] And we are underway here in Baltimore, 36 00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:24,324 as the Ravens take on the Detroit Lions. 37 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,109 Beautiful day for football. 38 00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:27,811 ...and Detroit scores! 39 00:01:27,904 --> 00:01:29,646 -[whoops] -Baltimore ties it up! 40 00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:31,148 Detroit kick is good. 41 00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,649 Touchdown Baltimore! 42 00:01:32,668 --> 00:01:34,259 ...and Detroit is coming back. 43 00:01:34,486 --> 00:01:36,336 Baltimore retakes the lead. 44 00:01:36,488 --> 00:01:39,598 Man, this game could go either way. 45 00:01:39,825 --> 00:01:41,158 Detroit player injured. 46 00:01:41,176 --> 00:01:43,102 Baltimore just might pull it out. 47 00:01:43,253 --> 00:01:44,828 Oh, my God, I'm gonna win! 48 00:01:44,847 --> 00:01:47,022 Turns out I was a winner all my life. 49 00:01:48,091 --> 00:01:49,333 [announcer] Oh, but what's this? 50 00:01:49,351 --> 00:01:51,610 Detroit scores a last-second safety 51 00:01:51,761 --> 00:01:54,113 and the Lions are victorious. 52 00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:57,524 De-who scores an un-what and the wheres are wha-torious? 53 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,343 Geez. Tough luck, Moe. 54 00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:00,101 You lost. 55 00:02:00,195 --> 00:02:01,678 Damn you, Balty-more! 56 00:02:01,697 --> 00:02:05,015 You crab-infested Edgar Allan Poe-munchers! 57 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,125 [muttering] 58 00:02:06,276 --> 00:02:07,684 Uh, calm down, Moe. 59 00:02:07,686 --> 00:02:08,869 It was just a dollar. 60 00:02:09,037 --> 00:02:10,129 To you it was just a dollar! 61 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,356 To me it was a whole simoleon! All right?! 62 00:02:12,358 --> 00:02:13,707 Get the hell out of here! All of youse! 63 00:02:13,859 --> 00:02:14,949 -Bar's closed! -[yelping] 64 00:02:15,043 --> 00:02:17,527 -[Homer] We're leaving! -You, too, Slumpo! 65 00:02:17,546 --> 00:02:19,555 Slumpo? 66 00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:21,789 [thunks] 67 00:02:21,884 --> 00:02:22,883 [squishes] 68 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,269 I don't like the sound of that squish. 69 00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:29,523 Guys, I think Larry's... 70 00:02:30,726 --> 00:02:31,966 ...dead. 71 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:34,895 [organ playing] 72 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,321 I don't know why we had to come here. 73 00:02:36,548 --> 00:02:37,489 Funerals are stupid. 74 00:02:37,641 --> 00:02:39,825 You're all excused from coming to mine. 75 00:02:39,976 --> 00:02:41,827 Good. I had something that day anyway. 76 00:02:42,054 --> 00:02:43,887 [quietly] I didn't have anything that day. 77 00:02:43,906 --> 00:02:46,056 Homie, you have to pay your respects. 78 00:02:46,225 --> 00:02:48,667 You spent more time with Larry than your own kids. 79 00:02:48,818 --> 00:02:50,002 That's not true at all. 80 00:02:50,229 --> 00:02:52,487 Who's my best friend? What's my favorite subject? 81 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,006 Who do I admire most in the world? 82 00:02:54,157 --> 00:02:56,066 How old am I? And what color's my bike? 83 00:02:56,084 --> 00:02:58,844 Pass. Pass. Crackle from Snap, Crackle, and Pop. 84 00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,828 Pass. And trick question-- 85 00:03:00,923 --> 00:03:03,182 you have a skateboard. 86 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:07,227 Huh. I'm strangely comforted by the passes. 87 00:03:09,264 --> 00:03:11,648 [Marge] Wow, light turnout. 88 00:03:14,177 --> 00:03:16,770 I'm so glad you guys could make it. 89 00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:17,921 How could we not? 90 00:03:17,923 --> 00:03:19,531 Larry was... around. 91 00:03:19,758 --> 00:03:22,367 So we just throw some money into this tip jar here? 92 00:03:22,519 --> 00:03:25,595 What's the right amount? One? Five? 93 00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:26,596 One? 94 00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:27,931 This is gonna take a while. 95 00:03:28,024 --> 00:03:29,857 Want to crash a few funerals? 96 00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:32,336 Eh, I'm already wearing a dress. 97 00:03:33,439 --> 00:03:35,105 [Sea Captain] So as you sail alone 98 00:03:35,123 --> 00:03:37,457 'cross the wine-dark seas of eternity, 99 00:03:37,609 --> 00:03:40,944 you shall remain evermore in our hearts. 100 00:03:40,963 --> 00:03:44,281 Yarr-I-P, my feathered friend. 101 00:03:44,299 --> 00:03:48,468 You always said that you wanted one of these, Polly. 102 00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:51,045 And now you have one. 103 00:03:51,139 --> 00:03:52,731 [all crying] Arr! 104 00:03:52,882 --> 00:03:54,382 Arr! Arr! 105 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,960 [chuckles] Check me out, Lis! 106 00:03:57,053 --> 00:03:58,979 I'm bearing pall! 107 00:03:59,131 --> 00:04:01,556 Aunt Eunice, you saw us through so much, 108 00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:02,983 triumph and sorrow, 109 00:04:03,135 --> 00:04:05,469 and it's a comfort to know that you died at 92 110 00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:06,803 of natural causes. 111 00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:07,988 Natural causes? 112 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:10,749 She clearly died from the vaccine! 113 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,252 You shut up, Robert F. Quimby Jr.! 114 00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:15,645 You're an embarrassment to this family. 115 00:04:15,664 --> 00:04:17,481 And that's saying a lot! 116 00:04:17,499 --> 00:04:19,149 [playing organ] 117 00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:20,834 Sorry I'm late. Uh... 118 00:04:20,986 --> 00:04:22,076 [quietly] Who are we doing today? 119 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,821 A sad, balding drunk 120 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,657 -who hung out at Moe's. -Got it. 121 00:04:27,676 --> 00:04:32,829 Homer Simpson was a beloved pillar of this community. 122 00:04:32,922 --> 00:04:34,623 He thinks you died. 123 00:04:34,683 --> 00:04:35,774 Do something. 124 00:04:35,925 --> 00:04:37,667 Why? He's saying nice things. 125 00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:39,427 You never call me a pillar. 126 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,446 -[speaking indistinctly] -He's not? 127 00:04:41,598 --> 00:04:43,240 Are you sure? 128 00:04:46,178 --> 00:04:48,436 Uh... anyhoo, 129 00:04:48,514 --> 00:04:52,032 and now a few words from Larry's mother, 130 00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,418 Iris Dalrymple. 131 00:04:56,021 --> 00:05:01,282 Well, my Lawrence always talked about his best friends, 132 00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:04,194 the fellows at Moe's Tavern. 133 00:05:04,212 --> 00:05:07,121 It would warm my heart if they came up 134 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:11,018 and shared fond memories of my son. 135 00:05:12,295 --> 00:05:13,720 [quietly] I'm not talking. You talk. 136 00:05:13,872 --> 00:05:15,205 -I didn't know him. -No one did. 137 00:05:15,223 --> 00:05:16,556 Your stool was closest. 138 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:21,728 Perhaps one of you could talk about Larry's love of fishing. 139 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,822 Uh, uh, one time, 140 00:05:23,973 --> 00:05:26,049 we went to this great fishing lake. 141 00:05:26,142 --> 00:05:27,308 Lake Fish. 142 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:30,287 Oh, yeah. Fish Lake was full of... 143 00:05:31,557 --> 00:05:32,572 ...fish. 144 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,575 You know who always caught the biggest fish? 145 00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:36,668 Who? Who? 146 00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,229 I-I, uh... I want to say Larry? 147 00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:40,580 [chuckles] Big Fish Larry. 148 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,156 Oh, yeah. Larry, indeed. 149 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:43,583 [Lenny] Watch out, fish! 150 00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:45,302 What a true story. 151 00:05:47,406 --> 00:05:49,997 -Oof. -Why did you never take the time 152 00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:51,908 to get to know this man? 153 00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:53,243 Hey, at least we came, huh? 154 00:05:53,261 --> 00:05:55,020 Hey, Barney totally blew this off. 155 00:05:55,171 --> 00:05:57,097 Said he had something more important to do. 156 00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:59,416 Eh, selfish jerk. 157 00:05:59,585 --> 00:06:00,842 [creaking] 158 00:06:00,919 --> 00:06:02,986 [speaking Spanish] 159 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,942 [cheering] 160 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,427 [belches] 161 00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:14,206 Marge, Larry just didn't fit into our band of bros. 162 00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:16,375 The four of us are closer than close. 163 00:06:16,602 --> 00:06:18,210 Yeah, we're like the Sex and the City broads, 164 00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:20,103 except, uh, super gross. 165 00:06:20,122 --> 00:06:22,789 Yeah, Larry just wasn't part of our deal. 166 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,158 Because you never asked him to be. 167 00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:28,945 All he ever wanted was a simple human connection. 168 00:06:28,964 --> 00:06:33,725 But, instead, he died unloved in a bar. 169 00:06:33,877 --> 00:06:34,968 [Homer moans softly] 170 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,137 ♪ Ah ♪ 171 00:06:37,289 --> 00:06:41,316 ♪ Look at all the lonely barflies ♪ 172 00:06:42,477 --> 00:06:43,977 ♪ Ah ♪ 173 00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:47,906 ♪ Look at all the lonely barflies ♪ 174 00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:52,802 ♪ Larry the barfly sat at a stool every night ♪ 175 00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:55,062 ♪ And he ordered a beer ♪ 176 00:06:55,157 --> 00:06:57,732 ♪ Shedding a tear ♪ 177 00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,309 ♪ Look at him eating ♪ 178 00:06:59,327 --> 00:07:01,161 ♪ Checking his phone all alone ♪ 179 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,813 ♪ As he sits with his pain ♪ 180 00:07:03,832 --> 00:07:06,741 ♪ Chicken chow mein ♪ 181 00:07:06,835 --> 00:07:09,152 ♪ All the lonely Larrys ♪ 182 00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:13,098 ♪ They all come to an end ♪ 183 00:07:13,325 --> 00:07:16,176 ♪ All the lonely Larrys ♪ 184 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:22,441 ♪ Forgotten by their friends. ♪ 185 00:07:22,668 --> 00:07:25,110 Is it possible we're terrible people? 186 00:07:25,337 --> 00:07:28,672 Yes, but the one I'm really disappointed in is... 187 00:07:28,765 --> 00:07:30,523 -Lenny. -What? 188 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:34,861 You just always struck me as a sensitive guy with a good heart. 189 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,179 I did? 190 00:07:36,198 --> 00:07:39,273 I'm so sorry to interrupt, gentlemen, 191 00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:42,169 but I found this in my son's room. 192 00:07:45,448 --> 00:07:46,873 It's all five of us. 193 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,969 Hey, it kind of looks like we're in front of Serenity Falls. 194 00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:56,533 I know. We should all take Larry's ashes there, together. 195 00:07:56,626 --> 00:08:00,020 -[Carl and Moe and Homer] Huh? -It's the sensitive thing to do. 196 00:08:01,223 --> 00:08:04,149 [gasps] That's a wonderful idea. 197 00:08:04,376 --> 00:08:05,817 I can't go to Serenity Falls. 198 00:08:06,044 --> 00:08:07,802 It sounds stressful! 199 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:08,653 [Marge grunts] 200 00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:09,988 And I... 201 00:08:10,215 --> 00:08:11,639 love stress? 202 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,901 [Lenny] The four amigos are on the road! 203 00:08:15,053 --> 00:08:16,995 Or should I say "five"? 204 00:08:17,146 --> 00:08:19,998 ♪ All the lonely barflies ♪ 205 00:08:20,149 --> 00:08:23,576 ♪ Confronting mortal dread ♪ 206 00:08:23,729 --> 00:08:26,988 ♪ Their souls in need of searching ♪ 207 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:31,426 ♪ They booze it up instead. ♪ 208 00:08:37,242 --> 00:08:39,425 See, Larry? We're not so bad. 209 00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:40,927 We're taking you to your special place, 210 00:08:41,079 --> 00:08:42,762 Serenity Falls. 211 00:08:42,914 --> 00:08:44,080 Let's get this over with. 212 00:08:44,099 --> 00:08:45,673 I got a big date with my girl. 213 00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,935 Naima's taking me to see the reunited Kool & the Gang. 214 00:08:49,104 --> 00:08:51,254 Didn't she date one of the Gang? 215 00:08:51,347 --> 00:08:52,346 One of? 216 00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,015 She dated Kool. 217 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,077 -Whoa! Kool! -Wow! -Ooh. 218 00:08:58,263 --> 00:09:00,354 We spent a million hours with this guy, 219 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,115 but he never felt like one of us. 220 00:09:02,267 --> 00:09:05,026 He was a drunk, and we're just social drinkers 221 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,452 who also drink alone. 222 00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:07,862 Two different worlds. 223 00:09:07,989 --> 00:09:10,957 I just hope that if Larry knew we were doing this, 224 00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,533 it would make him happy. 225 00:09:12,627 --> 00:09:14,444 [chuckles] Yeah, as happy as Naima 226 00:09:14,537 --> 00:09:16,888 when she was dishing it out to Kool, huh? 227 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,948 -Would you shut up?! -Sorry, sorry. 228 00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:20,784 Hey, let's listen to some music, huh? 229 00:09:20,802 --> 00:09:22,619 Get your mind off of, uh... 230 00:09:22,637 --> 00:09:23,711 you know, things. 231 00:09:23,805 --> 00:09:25,288 ♪ Get down on it ♪ 232 00:09:25,307 --> 00:09:26,973 ♪ Get down on it... ♪ 233 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,567 [Carl groaning] 234 00:09:33,298 --> 00:09:34,981 Could you turn off the light? 235 00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:37,242 And leave Larry all alone in the dark? 236 00:09:37,393 --> 00:09:39,411 [chuckles] Can you believe this guy? 237 00:09:39,562 --> 00:09:40,561 Larry's not here! 238 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:41,638 He's dead! 239 00:09:41,656 --> 00:09:42,914 His ghost is here. 240 00:09:43,066 --> 00:09:43,915 Aw, come on, Lenny. 241 00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:45,325 Ghosts ain't real, huh? 242 00:09:45,477 --> 00:09:46,659 Yes, they are. 243 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,813 I believe that Larry's ghost is hovering above us, 244 00:09:49,831 --> 00:09:51,572 blowing out birthday candles, 245 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:54,167 helping figure skaters land their jumps 246 00:09:54,319 --> 00:09:57,837 and cooling down hot soup with his icy cold ghost finger. 247 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,839 Lenny, Lenny, Lenny. 248 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,158 Everybody knows that when you die, 249 00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:04,436 your soul becomes cosmic energy, 250 00:10:04,663 --> 00:10:06,679 until your consciousness is reborn 251 00:10:06,832 --> 00:10:10,091 as a creature that befits your metaphysical station, 252 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,517 be it mighty moose 253 00:10:11,594 --> 00:10:13,469 or a proud paramecium. 254 00:10:13,521 --> 00:10:15,429 Shut your traps, you deluded freaks. 255 00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:17,115 Here's the deal-- when you croak, 256 00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,175 it's just a sad, silent void. 257 00:10:19,194 --> 00:10:21,511 Nothin'. And it's not even a regular nothin'. 258 00:10:21,646 --> 00:10:23,363 It's an absence of everything, huh? 259 00:10:23,515 --> 00:10:25,290 Where no matter how hard you think, 260 00:10:25,441 --> 00:10:28,109 you can't imagine how nothin' it is. 261 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,444 Like that abandoned mall where the JC Pennys 262 00:10:30,538 --> 00:10:31,871 is full of bears? 263 00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:32,872 No. 264 00:10:33,024 --> 00:10:34,524 [scoffs] You're all wrong. 265 00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:37,026 Why have questions when we have the Bible? 266 00:10:37,045 --> 00:10:39,045 I didn't serve 20 years to life in church 267 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,031 not to cash in on those frequent prayer miles. 268 00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:43,791 I can't wait till I die 269 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,477 so I can slide in next to Larry 270 00:10:45,628 --> 00:10:48,647 and eat buffalo angel wings for all eternity 271 00:10:48,874 --> 00:10:51,724 without a celery stick in sight. 272 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:52,984 -Ghosts. -Void. 273 00:10:53,211 --> 00:10:54,878 -Space moose. -Wings. 274 00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:56,613 Don't listen to them, ghost Larry. 275 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,327 Void! 276 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,705 First pee of the day. Let's make it count. 277 00:11:06,983 --> 00:11:09,292 [mutters indistinctly] 278 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,296 [yelps] Larry, get back in your jar. 279 00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:16,082 What the hell is this? 280 00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:18,584 And this, and this. 281 00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:20,920 What parts of Larry were these? 282 00:11:21,072 --> 00:11:23,348 [groans unhappily] 283 00:11:24,409 --> 00:11:25,350 [whistling] 284 00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:28,061 Hey, Homer, what you doing down there? 285 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,098 Sweet Tabasco Sally, 286 00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,526 is thems what I think thems is? 287 00:11:37,513 --> 00:11:38,530 Hmm. 288 00:11:38,757 --> 00:11:39,939 Sapphires. 289 00:11:40,091 --> 00:11:41,424 Larry's ashes were full of them. 290 00:11:41,443 --> 00:11:42,442 What gives? 291 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,427 Larry must have had these Smurf-stones 292 00:11:44,446 --> 00:11:46,946 crammed up his wazoo when they crematized him. 293 00:11:47,098 --> 00:11:48,189 [pops] 294 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,690 He must have been moving stolen gems 295 00:11:49,784 --> 00:11:52,210 across the northern border by stuffing them up 296 00:11:52,437 --> 00:11:54,270 his southern pass. [laughs] 297 00:11:54,363 --> 00:11:57,774 All I knows is Larry is dead, and we are rich. 298 00:11:57,792 --> 00:11:58,775 Oh, my God, you're right. 299 00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:00,960 We gotta tell Lenny and Carl. 300 00:12:01,112 --> 00:12:02,036 Uh, uh, real quick sidebar. 301 00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:04,538 Um, do we really want to bother 302 00:12:04,632 --> 00:12:05,782 our gentlemen friends 303 00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:09,285 with this here, uh, gemalogical situation? 304 00:12:09,304 --> 00:12:11,378 -Why wouldn't we? -Aw, bless your heart. 305 00:12:11,473 --> 00:12:14,899 But whatever money these corpse jewels yield, 306 00:12:15,051 --> 00:12:17,718 we'd be crazy to split it four ways. 307 00:12:17,812 --> 00:12:20,313 -[groans, grunts] -[groans] 308 00:12:20,465 --> 00:12:22,073 Look, you and me need this money 309 00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:23,891 way more than Lenny and Carl, all right? 310 00:12:23,985 --> 00:12:25,392 You got an expensive trophy wife 311 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,986 and, like, a thousand crazy kids. 312 00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:28,763 And all I got is a crummy bar 313 00:12:28,765 --> 00:12:30,640 full of toxic black mold. 314 00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,308 What? [coughs] 315 00:12:32,327 --> 00:12:36,045 I guess I do have a lot of financial burdens. 316 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,000 -[knock on door] -[Carl] Hey, open up. 317 00:12:41,152 --> 00:12:43,244 I gotta record my gum depth. 318 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:46,413 Two, two, two, three, two... 319 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,840 Okay, getting ready to lie to our friends. 320 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,434 And... showtime! 321 00:12:49,511 --> 00:12:52,103 Good morning, dearest Carlton. 322 00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,439 I know what's going on in here. 323 00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:56,257 -I, um... -Uh, uh... 324 00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,443 You guys were getting up early 325 00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,945 to use the two free continental breakfast vouchers 326 00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:02,338 without us. 327 00:13:02,357 --> 00:13:06,100 Well, we're using 'em. Me and Larry. 328 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,769 Don't worry, we'll get our chance. 329 00:13:08,863 --> 00:13:10,163 [Moe hums greedily] 330 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,037 Wait a sec, this ain't the road to the Falls. 331 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,613 Yeah, I took the scenic route. 332 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:23,209 I thought Larry would appreciate seeing those wildflowers. 333 00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:26,137 Guess who planted those. Lady Bird Johnson. 334 00:13:26,289 --> 00:13:27,380 What the hell, Lenny? 335 00:13:27,532 --> 00:13:29,474 You know I gotta get back to save my lady 336 00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:31,309 from the clutches of Kool and the Gang. 337 00:13:31,386 --> 00:13:33,036 I thought you weren't worried. 338 00:13:33,054 --> 00:13:34,312 Of course I'm worried. 339 00:13:34,463 --> 00:13:38,041 They won the 2014 Soul Train Music Legend award. 340 00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:39,725 -Now let's get back on the highway. -[yelps] 341 00:13:39,894 --> 00:13:42,045 -[grunts] Give it! -[tires screeching] 342 00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:43,563 [indistinct shouting] 343 00:13:43,715 --> 00:13:45,281 [both cry out] 344 00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,998 [tires screech] 345 00:13:56,728 --> 00:13:58,503 -Phew. -[groaning] Oh... 346 00:13:58,654 --> 00:14:01,673 I'm sorry, Carl. I'll get back on the highway. 347 00:14:01,749 --> 00:14:03,842 No. You go however you want. 348 00:14:04,027 --> 00:14:06,052 Let's do right by Larry. 349 00:14:12,577 --> 00:14:13,409 [both] Larry! 350 00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:15,353 [Homer and Moe] Our secret gems! 351 00:14:15,504 --> 00:14:16,563 [panting] 352 00:14:17,673 --> 00:14:19,098 Nothing to see here, huh? 353 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,008 Just, uh, crystalized Larry chunks. 354 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,418 [whispering] Gems. Gems, gems, gems. 355 00:14:22,511 --> 00:14:24,587 Gems. Gems, gems. Precious gems. 356 00:14:24,606 --> 00:14:27,348 There were sapphires in Larry's urn? 357 00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:28,441 And you knew? 358 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,927 Look, guys, we can explain. You see... 359 00:14:30,945 --> 00:14:32,612 Homer talked me into screwing youse over 360 00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:34,931 so we could keep them gems all for ourselves, all right? 361 00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:36,949 -[both] What? -You liar! 362 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,293 [sheriff] Hands up. 363 00:14:39,662 --> 00:14:42,046 Back away from the urn. 364 00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:46,867 Y'all are under arrest for violating 365 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:50,371 section 545 of the U.S. commerce code: 366 00:14:50,465 --> 00:14:51,797 jewel smuggling. 367 00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:52,873 [whimpering] 368 00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:55,709 Y'all get in the frunk. 369 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:56,978 [vehicle chirps] 370 00:15:01,809 --> 00:15:03,793 [all mutter indistinctly] 371 00:15:03,811 --> 00:15:07,130 [Homer] Oh, "front trunk." Frunk. 372 00:15:07,148 --> 00:15:08,648 Now I get it. 373 00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,366 [laughs, then cries] 374 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,123 -[all groaning] -[Lenny] Oh. 375 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,474 [Lenny] I'm not going to jail 376 00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:19,976 'cause you two were gem smuggling. 377 00:15:19,994 --> 00:15:21,586 It's worse than that, dummy. 378 00:15:21,813 --> 00:15:23,479 Homer and Moe weren't gonna tell us about 379 00:15:23,498 --> 00:15:26,407 the sapphires they found in the Larry crumbs. 380 00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:28,151 I wanted to tell you, but Homer threatened 381 00:15:28,169 --> 00:15:29,410 to set my bar on fire. 382 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:32,263 What? You told me to keep the gems a secret, 383 00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:35,249 and I only listened to you because I'm highly suggestable. 384 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,936 -No, you're not. -You're right, I'm not. 385 00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:40,179 Who cares? All I know is we were the victims 386 00:15:40,331 --> 00:15:42,106 of an A-1 screw job. 387 00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:44,609 This is the worst thing you guys have ever done. 388 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:45,851 [Homer moans sadly] 389 00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:48,521 Oh. yeah, Carl? Well, what about when you 390 00:15:48,673 --> 00:15:51,857 won a year's supply of Old El Paso taco kits, 391 00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,676 and never invited me over? 392 00:15:53,695 --> 00:15:54,953 You won that contest? 393 00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:56,955 I wrote the taco poem. 394 00:15:57,106 --> 00:15:59,440 You must have submitted it as yours. 395 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,684 Maybe I just got tired of hearing your voice 396 00:16:01,703 --> 00:16:04,128 that sounds like a duck with a sinus infection. 397 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,966 "The box contains seasoning and five broken shells. 398 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:12,545 You and your family buy everything else. Old El Paso." 399 00:16:12,697 --> 00:16:13,972 He does sound like a duck. 400 00:16:14,199 --> 00:16:15,456 Now I'll never not hear it. 401 00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:17,717 You knew broken shells are my thing. 402 00:16:17,869 --> 00:16:20,061 [all grunting] 403 00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:26,133 Is this what we're like when we're... sober? 404 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,878 We're nothing like the Sex and the City broads. 405 00:16:28,896 --> 00:16:31,564 You take us out of that bar, and what's holding us together? 406 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,882 Nothing. 407 00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:35,309 And to think all Larry wanted out of life 408 00:16:35,403 --> 00:16:37,978 was to be part of this friend group. 409 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,998 What a dumb dead chump. 410 00:16:40,225 --> 00:16:42,058 [sheriff] Hey, boss, I found the idiots 411 00:16:42,151 --> 00:16:44,335 who took Larry's last haul. 412 00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:48,564 They're just a bunch of losers that hate each other. Heh. 413 00:16:48,657 --> 00:16:50,008 It's all taken care of. 414 00:16:50,193 --> 00:16:53,344 Excellent work, Mickey No-Loose-Ends. 415 00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:55,404 So what you want me to do with them? 416 00:16:55,498 --> 00:16:57,073 Mm, let them go. 417 00:16:57,091 --> 00:16:58,850 They know nothing. 418 00:16:59,077 --> 00:17:01,686 Got it. No loose ends. 419 00:17:04,098 --> 00:17:06,507 Ugh, I gotta pay more attention to the nicknames 420 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,008 when I hire these guys. 421 00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:10,770 Now, can you go pick up Connie at the airport, 422 00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:12,179 Bruno Wife-Banger? 423 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,090 Hey, with pleasure. 424 00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:16,701 [whistling] 425 00:17:16,852 --> 00:17:18,352 [sheriff] No loose ends. 426 00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:21,614 This psycho ain't a sheriff. He's a psycho! 427 00:17:21,766 --> 00:17:23,541 Oh, and we're his loose ends. 428 00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:25,025 We're all gonna die. 429 00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:28,713 Oh, what if Lenny's right, and we're all gonna be ghosts? 430 00:17:28,864 --> 00:17:31,215 What if Moe is right, and it's just a void? 431 00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,200 Incomprehensible nothing. 432 00:17:33,294 --> 00:17:35,219 I don't think I could handle that. 433 00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:37,947 No, no, no, Homer's heaven makes sense to me now. 434 00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:40,449 Hey, Lord, I repent everything I ever done. 435 00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:44,044 That he knows about. Heh, heh, heh. 436 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:47,231 Guys, I think Carl's stupid energy crap is real, 437 00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:49,975 and I'm totally coming back as one of those koalas 438 00:17:50,128 --> 00:17:52,295 with an STD. 439 00:17:52,388 --> 00:17:54,322 [grunting] 440 00:18:00,729 --> 00:18:02,805 Mm? [grunts] 441 00:18:02,824 --> 00:18:04,898 Hey, hey, look at this. 442 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,251 I could blast him when he opens the frunk. 443 00:18:07,478 --> 00:18:10,088 -[indistinct chatter] -That flare gun. Flare gun will save us. 444 00:18:10,239 --> 00:18:12,423 Time to get out. Whoa! 445 00:18:12,575 --> 00:18:14,500 Eat flare, jerk. 446 00:18:14,652 --> 00:18:16,344 [all crying out] 447 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:19,672 Phew. 448 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,099 [car creaking] 449 00:18:21,175 --> 00:18:23,584 [all cry out] 450 00:18:23,678 --> 00:18:26,512 Nobody move. As long as our weight is balanced, 451 00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:27,847 we're not going over. 452 00:18:27,999 --> 00:18:29,923 Although, if one of us jumped out, 453 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,183 that person would save themselves, 454 00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:32,926 and everyone else would die. 455 00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:35,504 So any one of us could save themselves 456 00:18:35,598 --> 00:18:36,781 and doom the rest? 457 00:18:36,932 --> 00:18:38,765 [all] No! 458 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,510 [car creaking] 459 00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:44,680 Our only hope is to jump out at the exact same time. 460 00:18:44,699 --> 00:18:45,939 Either we all survive, 461 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,792 or we all find out what the afterlife is... 462 00:18:47,943 --> 00:18:49,869 together. 463 00:18:50,021 --> 00:18:50,962 Unless it's the void, in which case 464 00:18:51,113 --> 00:18:52,371 we won't find out nothin'. 465 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,873 Okay, on three. 466 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,616 One, two... 467 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,301 [all] Three! 468 00:18:57,953 --> 00:18:59,470 -Yay, we did it. -Whoo! 469 00:18:59,697 --> 00:19:02,198 You don't jump on three. You jump on "go." 470 00:19:02,216 --> 00:19:03,866 One, two, three, go. 471 00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:05,643 The three is the go. 472 00:19:05,794 --> 00:19:09,021 [shouting] Agree to disagree... 473 00:19:10,057 --> 00:19:12,541 I probably should leave, but I can't. 474 00:19:12,593 --> 00:19:15,378 Got to make sure there's no... [grunts] 475 00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:17,897 ...loose ends. 476 00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,158 ♪ ♪ 477 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,661 -Larry? -It can't be. 478 00:19:23,812 --> 00:19:25,054 It's another urn. 479 00:19:25,147 --> 00:19:27,331 [crying out] 480 00:19:35,157 --> 00:19:37,416 [Homer grunts] 481 00:19:37,568 --> 00:19:38,843 [groaning] 482 00:19:38,994 --> 00:19:40,344 What happened? 483 00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:41,995 Ow. Oh... 484 00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,265 Larry saved your life. 485 00:19:46,669 --> 00:19:50,188 Wow, these electric cars even explode quiet. 486 00:19:50,339 --> 00:19:53,766 And look, we're right here at Serenity Falls. 487 00:19:53,918 --> 00:19:55,935 Larry's special place. 488 00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,179 Wait, this don't look the same at all. 489 00:19:59,348 --> 00:20:01,440 This whole stupid trip where we were driven apart, 490 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,051 and then came back together with a much deeper bond, 491 00:20:04,053 --> 00:20:05,703 was for nothing. 492 00:20:05,930 --> 00:20:08,431 Oh, my God, guys, I think I know 493 00:20:08,449 --> 00:20:12,025 where Larry really wanted us to take his death dust 494 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:13,936 and bone chunks. 495 00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:17,940 ♪ Cherish the love we have ♪ 496 00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:22,720 ♪ We should cherish the life we live ♪ 497 00:20:22,947 --> 00:20:24,113 ♪ Oh... ♪ 498 00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:25,614 Welcome home, Larry. 499 00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,725 Enjoy your special place. 500 00:20:27,952 --> 00:20:30,228 It's too bad we lost those sapphires. 501 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,137 I guess they fell out of the urn. 502 00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:35,149 Yeah, it's a real mystery. 503 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,644 Heh, heh, heh. Ow. 504 00:20:38,796 --> 00:20:41,297 ♪ Cherish the love we have ♪ 505 00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:44,575 ♪ For as long as we both shall live ♪ 506 00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:45,660 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 507 00:20:49,490 --> 00:20:53,325 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 508 00:20:53,478 --> 00:20:56,587 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 509 00:20:56,739 --> 00:20:59,331 and TOYOTA. 510 00:20:59,484 --> 00:21:02,593 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 511 00:21:29,271 --> 00:21:31,330 Shh!