1 00:00:00,250 --> 00:00:01,709 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:02,041 --> 00:00:04,625 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 3 00:00:04,709 --> 00:00:07,792 (upbeat music playing) 4 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,709 -(thud) -(shrieks) 5 00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:22,208 (tires screech) 6 00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:25,291 D'oh! 7 00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:27,542 (grunts) 8 00:00:28,542 --> 00:00:31,959 -(woozy groaning) -(whirring) 9 00:00:32,041 --> 00:00:33,500 -(grunting) -("We can make the world stop" playing) 10 00:00:33,583 --> 00:00:35,250 Woo-hoo! 11 00:00:35,875 --> 00:00:38,333 (shouting. laughing) 12 00:00:39,583 --> 00:00:42,709 (electronic music playing) 13 00:00:44,375 --> 00:00:45,583 (propeller whirring) 14 00:00:45,709 --> 00:00:48,083 -Flanders. -(shouts) 15 00:00:48,625 --> 00:00:50,500 (electronic music playing) 16 00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:10,125 (tires screech) 17 00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:19,792 (screams) 18 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:25,792 (screams) 19 00:01:25,875 --> 00:01:26,875 (shatters) 20 00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:33,500 (theme music playing) 21 00:01:37,458 --> 00:01:38,875 (cat meowing) 22 00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:40,875 Hmm. 23 00:01:41,083 --> 00:01:42,875 -(chittering) -(yelps) 24 00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:45,375 Maybe we should find a new playground. 25 00:01:45,542 --> 00:01:47,125 I fear change. 26 00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:49,709 ("La Primavera" playing) 27 00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:52,875 Oh. Well, this looks nice. 28 00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:55,125 Har-har. 29 00:01:55,208 --> 00:01:58,041 Shady trees, bathrooms with doors 30 00:01:58,125 --> 00:01:59,959 and that loopy-loop slide 31 00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:03,542 dumps you out on soft recycled tires. 32 00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:05,750 Oh, Pirellis. 33 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,125 Oh, look! It's your friend Hudson. 34 00:02:11,125 --> 00:02:13,542 (upbeat music playing) 35 00:02:22,083 --> 00:02:23,834 (loud thud) 36 00:02:28,417 --> 00:02:30,709 My son seems to really like your daughter. 37 00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:35,792 -Courtney. -Marge. 38 00:02:35,959 --> 00:02:38,250 (chuckles) Is that ironic or retro? 39 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:39,625 It's my name. 40 00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:41,750 They're having so much fun. 41 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,667 -Is she free for a playdate tomorrow? -Yes. 42 00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:48,083 Has she been in the same room as a peanut recently? 43 00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:50,375 -No. -Can I check off her vaccinations? 44 00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:53,125 TB? DTaP? Measles-mumps-rubella? 45 00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:54,709 Yes, yes, yes. 46 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,083 Breast or bottle? 47 00:02:58,166 --> 00:02:59,709 Bottle, but I'm not a monster. 48 00:02:59,834 --> 00:03:01,083 I can bring cookies. 49 00:03:01,166 --> 00:03:02,625 (laughs) 50 00:03:02,709 --> 00:03:05,208 White sugar. That's hilarious. 51 00:03:05,291 --> 00:03:07,000 I'll have to tell my partner you said that. 52 00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:10,417 Well, I'm gonna tell my partner you mocked white sugar. 53 00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:11,667 See you tomorrow. 54 00:03:18,917 --> 00:03:20,834 Pancakes are on the table, Homie. 55 00:03:20,917 --> 00:03:22,917 And flapjacks will be ready in a few minutes. 56 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,166 Marge, I'm trying to lose weight. 57 00:03:25,291 --> 00:03:26,834 Pancakes will be fine. 58 00:03:26,917 --> 00:03:28,083 Are you sure? 59 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,792 I have to face facts. In some small ways, 60 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:32,542 I've let myself go. 61 00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:35,208 What's wrong? Who died? 62 00:03:35,291 --> 00:03:36,583 We're worried you will. 63 00:03:36,709 --> 00:03:39,250 We want you to live longer, Dad. 64 00:03:39,417 --> 00:03:40,542 Never what I want. 65 00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:41,959 (sighs) Fine. 66 00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:43,875 You know what, skip the pancakes. 67 00:03:43,959 --> 00:03:45,291 I'll just have... 68 00:03:45,375 --> 00:03:47,083 a grapefruit to go. 69 00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:49,166 (gasping) 70 00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:52,583 I didn't see the moon landing or the fall of the Berlin Wall, 71 00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:56,166 but I did see my father take a grapefruit to go. 72 00:03:56,417 --> 00:03:59,750 (triumphant music plays) 73 00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:03,250 (tires screeching) 74 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,333 Thanks a lot, pal! 75 00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:09,834 You cost us the pennant! Yeah, right there! 76 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,166 Ah, yesterday's pizza. 77 00:04:14,375 --> 00:04:16,333 I've been dreaming about you, my friend. 78 00:04:16,834 --> 00:04:19,834 While I slept, I said, "Extra large." 79 00:04:19,917 --> 00:04:23,083 But I told my wife I said, "Sexy Marge." 80 00:04:23,166 --> 00:04:25,000 (laughs) 81 00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:28,750 ("Blue Danube" playing) 82 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:38,250 Oh, why didn't I put on my pizza-eating gloves? 83 00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:41,208 Oh... 84 00:04:41,291 --> 00:04:43,417 (tires screeching) 85 00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:47,542 (glass shattering) 86 00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:49,208 (phone rings) 87 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:52,417 CARL ON PHONE: Where are you, Homer? Burns just called a staff meeting. 88 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:55,083 The only seats are next to him. 89 00:04:58,041 --> 00:04:59,667 (crumpling) 90 00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,166 Oh, God, I need a miracle. 91 00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:04,041 Hey, why don't you bring a balloon to your coworkers? 92 00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:06,959 They're like kites without the hard work. 93 00:05:09,917 --> 00:05:11,875 How long have you been selling balloons? 94 00:05:11,959 --> 00:05:14,083 It's an interesting story. 95 00:05:14,166 --> 00:05:17,125 ♪ Well, this is a story of a poor mountain man ♪ 96 00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:19,291 ♪ Spoke worse English than Mr. Jackie Chan ♪ 97 00:05:19,375 --> 00:05:21,625 ♪ Then one day, he was tendin' to his still ♪ 98 00:05:21,709 --> 00:05:24,709 ♪ Heard a hissing sound and his pants began to fill ♪ 99 00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:26,125 Helium. 100 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:27,667 See-through gold. 101 00:05:27,917 --> 00:05:29,875 Symbol, H-E. 102 00:05:30,083 --> 00:05:31,834 ♪ Well, the first thing you know... ♪ 103 00:05:31,917 --> 00:05:32,750 (exhales) 104 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,750 He's gone. 105 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,291 My best friend is gone. 106 00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:38,667 BURNS: I want you to know 107 00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:41,959 that the coworker you thought was Chip Incognito 108 00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:44,166 was actually me undercover. 109 00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:46,792 Sorry I'm late, everybody. Here, have a balloon. 110 00:05:46,875 --> 00:05:50,166 Simpson, Mr. Burns is a Fortune 500 CEO. 111 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,041 -He's not going to... -Quiet, you fool. 112 00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:54,083 (inhales) Mm. 113 00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:56,208 (high pitched voice) Pure, uncut helium. 114 00:05:56,291 --> 00:05:58,625 Thanks to birthday balloons, rarer than ever. 115 00:05:58,709 --> 00:06:01,250 Smithers, might I remind you we pay a fortune 116 00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:02,792 for helium to cool our reactors? 117 00:06:04,041 --> 00:06:05,041 (high-pitched voice) Right as always, sir. 118 00:06:05,125 --> 00:06:07,000 That price is sky-high! 119 00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:08,291 Where did you get this? 120 00:06:08,375 --> 00:06:11,208 Oh, the bumpkin I got it from has tons of it. 121 00:06:11,291 --> 00:06:12,208 But I got to warn you... 122 00:06:12,291 --> 00:06:14,750 he has no idea of what it's worth. 123 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,417 Excellent. (chuckles) 124 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,750 How I love a good swindle. 125 00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:20,250 -What do you think? -(whimpers) 126 00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:21,250 He called on me! 127 00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:25,500 Bah. As for you, Simpson, Employee of the Month. 128 00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,250 HOMER: So, Marge, 129 00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:31,625 I killed it at the staff meeting today. 130 00:06:31,834 --> 00:06:33,667 The key is preparation. 131 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:36,125 Something amazing has happened to Maggie. 132 00:06:36,208 --> 00:06:37,792 She's in love. 133 00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:43,125 Aww. 134 00:06:43,208 --> 00:06:45,875 If this gets any cuter, I'm gonna bust. 135 00:06:47,959 --> 00:06:50,083 Aww! Ooh! 136 00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:51,500 (barking, chomping) 137 00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:55,083 Aww... 138 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,959 (knocking) 139 00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:02,041 BRANDINE: Cletus, get the dang door! 140 00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:05,750 I can't very well answer the door with an unloaded shotgun, 141 00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:06,875 can I, woman? 142 00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:07,834 (gun cocks) 143 00:07:08,291 --> 00:07:09,709 (southern accent) Howdy, neighbor. 144 00:07:09,792 --> 00:07:13,500 May I offer you some Manhattan squirrel chowder? 145 00:07:13,709 --> 00:07:16,834 (sniffing) You smell like indoor plumbin'. 146 00:07:17,041 --> 00:07:18,291 (normal voice) Mm. He's onto us. 147 00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:20,375 No need to pretend we're inbred hicks. 148 00:07:20,542 --> 00:07:21,875 No offense, goober. 149 00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:22,875 None taken. 150 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:26,125 (bleats) 151 00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:29,542 All right, Spuckler, you've got helium, which I want. 152 00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:30,792 I've got what you want, 153 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:32,792 a tin cup filled with dimes. 154 00:07:32,875 --> 00:07:35,291 -Let's make a deal. -(jangling) 155 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:36,875 Now, hold on. 156 00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:39,250 I likes to have a drink with a feller 157 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,709 beforen I make a busy-ness deal. 158 00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:44,542 (chuckles) I have imbibed every intoxicant 159 00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:47,458 from sweet Yale beer to Flint, Michigan water. 160 00:07:47,625 --> 00:07:48,875 Do your worst. 161 00:07:48,959 --> 00:07:50,500 (gulps, shudders) 162 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:52,125 (gulps) 163 00:07:52,417 --> 00:07:54,542 Absolutely no effect upon my... 164 00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:56,458 (groaning) 165 00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:59,208 (upbeat clarinet music playing) 166 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,083 Sir, maybe this Spuckler fellow 167 00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:12,917 is a little smarter than we thought. 168 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:13,917 Nonsense. 169 00:08:14,291 --> 00:08:15,792 -(loud thud) -Ow! 170 00:08:17,041 --> 00:08:18,333 (whimpers) 171 00:08:18,417 --> 00:08:21,208 Hmm. Perhaps it takes an idiot to catch an idiot. 172 00:08:21,291 --> 00:08:23,458 Hello! Could I get a little help? 173 00:08:23,542 --> 00:08:25,250 I dropped my sandwich in here. 174 00:08:27,834 --> 00:08:30,667 You and Mr. Spuckler will enter into what the hoi polloi 175 00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:32,625 called a "friendship," 176 00:08:32,709 --> 00:08:34,917 then use that friendship to destroy his life 177 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,291 from the inside out. 178 00:08:36,375 --> 00:08:38,250 I don't know. He's got kids. 179 00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:41,000 I can't cheat a family out of their home. 180 00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:44,500 Mm-hmm. But you're perfectly fine cheating me out of their home. 181 00:08:44,583 --> 00:08:47,333 Oh. You're trying to confuse me. 182 00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:49,375 I got to get out. Where's the trap door? 183 00:08:49,834 --> 00:08:51,333 (whirring) 184 00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:52,542 (hoarsely) Save me. 185 00:08:52,625 --> 00:08:54,875 You know Weinstein from Accounting. 186 00:08:54,959 --> 00:08:55,834 (chuckles) 187 00:08:55,917 --> 00:08:57,333 If you're confused, 188 00:08:57,417 --> 00:08:59,917 perhaps these two gentlemen can clarify things. 189 00:09:00,709 --> 00:09:03,166 This fellow loves inflicting pain. 190 00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:04,917 And this fellow loves to laugh 191 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,917 while he watches this one produce the pain. 192 00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:09,083 Are you the pain guy or the laugh guy? 193 00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:11,000 -(grunts) -(groans) 194 00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:12,583 (laughing) 195 00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:13,709 Answer the question. 196 00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:16,333 -D'oh! -(laughing) 197 00:09:16,417 --> 00:09:18,041 (tires screeching) 198 00:09:19,709 --> 00:09:20,959 Hello? 199 00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:23,125 Maggie Simpson here for a playdate. 200 00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:24,709 COURTNEY: Hudson's on a conference call. 201 00:09:24,792 --> 00:09:26,417 -I'll buzz you in. -(buzzes) 202 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,041 You have a lovely home. 203 00:09:30,542 --> 00:09:31,959 What is this floor made out of? 204 00:09:32,041 --> 00:09:34,166 The tile was a Venetian church 205 00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:36,583 which we dismantled, shipped over by small boat 206 00:09:36,667 --> 00:09:40,250 and had lovingly installed by a 99-year-old I.M. Pei. 207 00:09:40,458 --> 00:09:41,834 That sounds pricey. 208 00:09:41,917 --> 00:09:43,834 No, the toilet is pricey. 209 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,750 The plumbers we hired to replace it are very inefficient. 210 00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:50,583 (Donkey Kong theme playing) 211 00:09:53,542 --> 00:09:56,166 (melodious music playing) 212 00:09:56,542 --> 00:09:58,375 Let's go, you little runts. 213 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,291 What? Are your diapers full? 214 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,583 Would you like some coffee as you fill out a sexual history? 215 00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:05,208 Sexual history? 216 00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,333 So our babies can be friends? 217 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:08,417 Here's mine. 218 00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:11,792 (robotic barking) 219 00:10:12,125 --> 00:10:13,208 All right. 220 00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,417 Cream, no sugar. 221 00:10:18,875 --> 00:10:22,125 (melodious music playing) 222 00:10:22,417 --> 00:10:26,041 So unusual to see a baby with a pacifier these days. 223 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,625 Your baby has such interesting hair. 224 00:10:35,166 --> 00:10:37,000 You don't mind that I baby-proofed your baby 225 00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:39,583 -from my baby, do you? -Yes, I do. 226 00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:40,917 Very much. 227 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,125 Maggie, let's go. Now. 228 00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:44,500 And we're not coming back. 229 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,083 (melancholic music plays) 230 00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:53,291 (axe tapping) 231 00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:56,000 (hissing) 232 00:10:58,542 --> 00:11:00,291 (southern accent) Whatcha doing there, friend? 233 00:11:00,375 --> 00:11:02,041 Good to see you again. 234 00:11:03,417 --> 00:11:05,542 -A-yup. -A-yup. 235 00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:07,417 Nothing like a good "a-yup" 236 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,375 -to put a man at ease. -A-yup. 237 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,417 -A-yup. -A-yup. 238 00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:13,625 -A-yup. -A-nope. 239 00:11:13,709 --> 00:11:15,208 I mean, a-yup. 240 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,500 Say, friend, 241 00:11:16,583 --> 00:11:18,333 looks like you're working awful hard 242 00:11:18,417 --> 00:11:21,667 to suck the helium into them thar Mylar balloons. 243 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,834 Oh, it's powerful tiresome. 244 00:11:24,125 --> 00:11:27,000 But the Lord done put helium under my feet, 245 00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:29,375 and I must not spill it into the sky. 246 00:11:29,458 --> 00:11:30,458 BURNS: Now, listen. 247 00:11:30,542 --> 00:11:33,500 Explain that you have a way to make his life easier. 248 00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:35,125 Pretend it's your idea. 249 00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:37,125 He's stupid enough to believe you have an idea. 250 00:11:37,291 --> 00:11:38,959 Say, "What if I told you 251 00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:41,291 there was a way to harvest that noble gas?" 252 00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:45,000 "What if I told you there was a way to harvest that noble gas 253 00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:47,625 without the strain on your mouth puffer." 254 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,625 I'd say, "Aw, pshaw," 255 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,417 but then I'd follow it with a "Go on." 256 00:11:51,542 --> 00:11:54,458 -BURNS: Excellent. -"Excellent." 257 00:11:54,542 --> 00:11:56,208 BURNS: No, don't say excellent. 258 00:11:56,291 --> 00:11:58,083 "No, don't say excellent." 259 00:11:58,208 --> 00:11:59,291 BURNS: No, don't say that, either. 260 00:11:59,417 --> 00:12:01,166 "No, don't say that, either." 261 00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:03,542 -BURNS: Just shut up. -"Just shut up." 262 00:12:03,834 --> 00:12:06,041 I'll have to mull your proposal, 263 00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,750 uh, especially that last crazy part. 264 00:12:10,083 --> 00:12:12,792 (exhales) You just saved me a passel of work. 265 00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:16,083 Now I can spend more time making more family. 266 00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:17,792 Homer J. Simpson. 267 00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:21,291 Cletus Delroy Montfort Bigglesworth Spuckler. 268 00:12:21,792 --> 00:12:23,125 Now, let's go yonder 269 00:12:23,291 --> 00:12:25,041 and get ourselves a mess of catfish. 270 00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:29,166 All right, I'm gonna get my arm so deep into that catfish hole, 271 00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:31,792 that ole chucklehead just bites my bone. 272 00:12:34,041 --> 00:12:35,834 Easy-peasy. 273 00:12:37,417 --> 00:12:38,917 (screams) 274 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,542 Now, don't scare him. It sours up the flavor. 275 00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:45,250 (screaming) 276 00:12:46,083 --> 00:12:48,041 (whimphers) It's licking my eye. 277 00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:50,709 -(grunting) -(Screaming) 278 00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:52,125 -Is it dead? -Mm-hmm. 279 00:12:52,208 --> 00:12:53,041 Thank you. 280 00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:57,458 All right, nothing like a good ole Spuckler family fish fry. 281 00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,375 Dear Lord, thank you for bringing 282 00:13:01,458 --> 00:13:03,125 this hairless swamp beast our way. 283 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,041 -Aw. -His wisdom regarding 284 00:13:05,125 --> 00:13:06,875 your mystery balloon gas 285 00:13:06,959 --> 00:13:10,041 has helped us Spucklers become a two-radio family. 286 00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:12,709 Homer, I want to be your partner. 287 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,041 Seal the deal with a hillbilly handshake. 288 00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:15,959 Come on. 289 00:13:18,542 --> 00:13:20,583 I consider you family now, 290 00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:23,625 which is not really that select a circle. 291 00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:29,750 (upbeat clarinet music playing) 292 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:45,208 BURNS: Excellent! 293 00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:46,792 (gasps) Where'd that come from? 294 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:49,041 Well done, Simpson. We'll take him for everything 295 00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:50,917 except the couch on his lawn. 296 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,458 Well, but we're family. 297 00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:54,583 -Couldn't you just screw him half over? -(scoffs) 298 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,500 No one screws anyone half over. 299 00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:57,959 It's like having half a billion dollars. 300 00:13:58,041 --> 00:13:59,208 What's the point of that? 301 00:14:00,959 --> 00:14:02,208 What's up? 302 00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:03,792 I think we're both upset, 303 00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:05,875 but I'm worried you're gonna talk first. 304 00:14:05,959 --> 00:14:07,208 No, you go ahead. 305 00:14:07,291 --> 00:14:09,959 (sighs) I'm supposed to screw over a guy 306 00:14:10,041 --> 00:14:11,583 that's only been nice to me. 307 00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:13,291 I'm denying Maggie happiness 308 00:14:13,375 --> 00:14:15,917 because I can't stand the mother of her friend. 309 00:14:16,083 --> 00:14:18,125 Aww. Maggie'll be fine. 310 00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:19,667 I just played with her. 311 00:14:20,917 --> 00:14:23,291 (chuckles) She still thinks I've got her nose. 312 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:24,709 Wait, where'd I put it? 313 00:14:24,875 --> 00:14:27,709 Not here. No. No. 314 00:14:29,709 --> 00:14:31,333 Oh, look what you found. 315 00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:36,083 I have something I need to tell you. 316 00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:38,875 (groans) Hudson had a birthday party, 317 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,625 but I didn't tell you, so you missed it. 318 00:14:42,542 --> 00:14:43,792 (loud thud) 319 00:14:44,041 --> 00:14:45,542 I can explain. 320 00:14:45,625 --> 00:14:47,959 That other mom was just so annoying 321 00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:50,542 with her aerial silks and those yoga pants. 322 00:14:50,625 --> 00:14:52,834 She does Pilates, not yoga. 323 00:14:52,917 --> 00:14:55,000 She made me feel bad about myself. 324 00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,208 You get it, right? Right? 325 00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:00,834 (melancholic music playing) 326 00:15:03,625 --> 00:15:05,458 (suspenseful music playing) 327 00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:09,125 Get this contract signed, Simpson. 328 00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:10,458 -Or what? -Hmm. 329 00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:12,625 Perhaps you need a little taste of what's in store. 330 00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:13,834 -(grunts) -Ow! 331 00:15:13,917 --> 00:15:15,875 (laughs) 332 00:15:15,959 --> 00:15:16,959 Sorry, Smithers. 333 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,375 We didn't want to leave a mark that Cletus could see. 334 00:15:19,458 --> 00:15:21,291 But you could've warned me first. 335 00:15:21,375 --> 00:15:22,709 Fair enough. Watch your back. 336 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,166 -(grunts) -(laughs) 337 00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:30,208 Well, if it ain't my bestest friend 338 00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:31,959 on God's flat Earth. 339 00:15:32,083 --> 00:15:34,500 -Oh. -So, what's in your hand? 340 00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:37,208 Some sort of a friendship certificate? 341 00:15:37,291 --> 00:15:38,875 Uh, you know, just something 342 00:15:38,959 --> 00:15:41,542 to put our partnership on the up-and-up. 343 00:15:41,625 --> 00:15:44,792 Hey, what's more up-and-up than the helium business? 344 00:15:44,875 --> 00:15:46,375 (laughs) 345 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:49,041 -Ain't you gonna read it? -I trust you, 346 00:15:49,166 --> 00:15:51,417 like a sheep trusts a friendly wolf. 347 00:15:52,041 --> 00:15:53,917 (squawks) 348 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,333 I signs with an "X" 349 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,709 'cause that's the kind of iPhone I got. 350 00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:04,583 And now for the second slash 351 00:16:04,667 --> 00:16:06,291 that makes it official. 352 00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:08,208 Oh, I need a straightedge. 353 00:16:08,291 --> 00:16:10,417 Straight-Edge! Get over here, boy! 354 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:11,667 Yes, Daddy. 355 00:16:13,458 --> 00:16:14,667 I can't do it. 356 00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:21,250 -You done floated my mark-maker. -I won't let you sign it. 357 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,333 It's all a trick to steal your helium. 358 00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:27,417 You was gonna steal from a man what has 29 kids? 359 00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:29,583 BRANDINE: Thirty. (gasps) Thirty-one! 360 00:16:29,709 --> 00:16:31,875 Yeah, but I told you before it was too late. 361 00:16:35,291 --> 00:16:37,667 Okay, we're still buddies. 362 00:16:37,875 --> 00:16:40,166 Getting mad at city folk for lying 363 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,250 is like getting mad at your six-year-old 364 00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:43,959 for not cleaning her gun. (chuckles) 365 00:16:44,041 --> 00:16:45,917 -Put her there. -Uh, that's your left hand. 366 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,667 They's both left hands. 367 00:16:48,959 --> 00:16:50,291 Simpson, you fool. 368 00:16:50,375 --> 00:16:51,917 I hope you kissed your wife well this morning, 369 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,959 because it will be the last one. 370 00:16:54,083 --> 00:16:55,542 Well, it was a medium. 371 00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:56,709 Part of it hit her ear. 372 00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:00,000 Hey, you harm my friend, 373 00:17:00,125 --> 00:17:02,291 you ain't getting balloon one of my helium. 374 00:17:02,375 --> 00:17:03,667 And I mean ever. 375 00:17:03,834 --> 00:17:05,333 Quite the dilemma. 376 00:17:05,417 --> 00:17:07,834 Smithers, solve this if you don't want another kick. 377 00:17:07,917 --> 00:17:09,458 Cletus, about your helium. 378 00:17:09,542 --> 00:17:11,875 What if we paid you a fair price? 379 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,709 County fair or state fair? 380 00:17:13,792 --> 00:17:15,709 I can't lose to someone so stupid. 381 00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:17,000 Goons, get him. 382 00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:18,375 (gun cocks) 383 00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:26,667 We'll pay you what's right. 384 00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:30,166 We have a deal. Have your people call my basset hound. 385 00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:33,875 Well, this'll help you forget your billionaire troubles. 386 00:17:33,959 --> 00:17:36,083 Have a toke on this, friend. 387 00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:40,250 (high-pitched) Help me! Help me! 388 00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:41,333 You'll rue the day. 389 00:17:41,417 --> 00:17:42,792 Smithers, power lines! 390 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,917 -(screams) -(goons laughing( 391 00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:49,542 Oh, Maggie. 392 00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:52,208 You're too young to be miserable the rest of your life. 393 00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:53,667 In this rom-com, 394 00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:55,667 I am not going to be the mean mother. 395 00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:56,750 Let's go. 396 00:17:57,792 --> 00:17:59,291 (tires screech) 397 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:17,083 (sighs) You know, the one thing we have in common 398 00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:18,583 is we're willing to pretend 399 00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:20,709 that we like each other for our children. 400 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,083 To that, I say, "Kiss-kiss." 401 00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:28,125 ("wedding march" playing) 402 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:50,333 ("You are my best friend" playing) 403 00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:54,583 ♪ Ooh, we're sharing some grits ♪ 404 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:58,959 ♪ Yours has butter, mine has possum gravy ♪ 405 00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:01,959 ♪ We're pals, so I eat your weird food ♪ 406 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,542 ♪ Woo-hoo-hoo ♪ 407 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,875 ♪ Ooh, you're making me fat now, Homer ♪ 408 00:19:08,166 --> 00:19:10,917 ♪ I don't have long to live ♪ 409 00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:15,709 ♪ Ooh, you're the best friend ♪ 410 00:19:15,875 --> 00:19:17,333 ♪ That I ever had ♪ 411 00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:21,166 ♪ You're the one who keeps my balloons flyin' ♪ 412 00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:25,583 ♪ You're my moonshine, and I want you to know ♪ 413 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:27,917 ♪ That I'm not sniffing glue ♪ 414 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,667 ♪ I really love you ♪ 415 00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:35,917 ♪ Oh, you're my best friend ♪ 416 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:41,083 ♪ Ooh, you gave me your tooth ♪ 417 00:19:41,166 --> 00:19:45,083 ♪ I love that you're whittlin' a stool for me ♪ 418 00:19:45,583 --> 00:19:49,125 ♪ I need two, one for each cheek ♪ 419 00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:53,792 ♪ Two, you'll have 'em next week, now, Homer ♪ 420 00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:57,041 ♪ Cool, let's pee in the creek ♪ 421 00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:01,208 ♪ Ooh, you're a mountain man ♪ 422 00:20:01,792 --> 00:20:03,500 ♪ Who lives off the grid ♪ 423 00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:07,500 ♪ You chased off Burns with a shotgun ♪ 424 00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,083 ♪ That was such fun ♪ 425 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,834 ♪ And I love to drink ♪ 426 00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:14,542 ♪ The methanol ♪ 427 00:20:14,625 --> 00:20:16,667 ♪ From your still ♪ 428 00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:20,834 ♪ Ooh, you're my best friend ♪ 429 00:20:21,417 --> 00:20:24,583 CLETUS: ♪ Ooh, you're my best friend ♪ 430 00:20:24,709 --> 00:20:28,458 HOMER: ♪ Ooh, I might not live ♪ 431 00:20:30,125 --> 00:20:34,083 BOTH): ♪ Ooh, you're my best friend. ♪ 432 00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:40,875 (theme music playing) 433 00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:20,375 -(murmuring) -Shh!