1
00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,879
辛普森一家

2
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:06,715
<i>欢迎莅临春田核电厂</i>

3
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,510
<i>崇高的灵魂让矮小的人显得伟大</i>

4
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:11,886
<i>猪油小子甜甜圈</i>

5
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,388
<i>喝到你变成绿人</i>
<i>圣帕特里克节在老莫小酒馆痛饮</i>

6
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:14,556
<i>春田小学</i>

7
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,475
<i>巴特去看医生了</i>

8
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,022
噢

9
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:28,903
<i>常青街742号</i>

10
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:32,532
<i>评分此趟行程</i>

11
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:34,325
<i>小费 零美元 一美元 两美元</i>

12
00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:44,252
也因此 只要去到这个法国小镇

13
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,838
就会看到我投降的雕像

14
00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:47,964
<i>我会带你们去找巴顿</i>

15
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,090
看到了吗

16
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:52,469
天啊 爷爷 你今天的故事超酷

17
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:56,139
对 赡养院终于把安慰剂

18
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,515
换成真的药

19
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:06,274
但我今天想把

20
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,568
我珍藏的东西送你

21
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,111
快打开

22
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,279
<i>美国陆军</i>

23
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:20,288
保险栓拉开后五秒就会爆炸

24
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,082
都怪我健忘

25
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,541
快放回去 放回去

26
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,294
没法塞回去 这跟生小孩一样

27
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,046
<i>此人对牛奶 豆类 小麦</i>
<i>以及流行音乐过敏</i>

28
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,131
-祈祷吧 臭小子
-不要

29
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:35,929
我骗你的

30
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,599
爷爷 那太好笑了

31
00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:43,686
你拒绝我也能理解
但手榴弹能借我吗

32
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:49,067
他昏睡了 意思就是可以

33
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:55,281
<i>春田养老院</i>

34
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,075
<i>动员大会 健身也快乐</i>

35
00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:59,911
今年我们被选为这个州最耐坐的学校

36
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:01,579
<i>挤不进门的胖小孩</i>

37
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:04,082
不…最耐坐不是好事

38
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:06,334
我们的字汇分数也爆低

39
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,545
-那也不好吗…
-是坏事

40
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:11,381
我们决定取消下课时间

41
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:14,384
举办两小时坐谈会

42
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:15,593
不公平

43
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:18,263
-坐下
-是 女士

44
00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:20,598
为了热闹开场 请欢迎本市

45
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:24,435
半业余曲棍球队新吉祥物 维尼秃鹰

46
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,273
各位小朋友好

47
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:31,568
米尔豪斯 你没说你爸又找到烂差事

48
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:35,655
其实他只是替身 本尊得了带状泡疹

49
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,367
鸟喙里有蜜蜂

50
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:40,702
我去休息一下

51
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,706
一只蜜蜂到底能有几根刺 老天

52
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,167
不如先来段分享时间

53
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,334
我先

54
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,212
别担心

55
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:55,550
这虽然是真的手榴弹
但只要不拔保险栓就不会爆

56
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:57,886
唉呦 我的妈

57
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,309
儿子 快爬进我的后门

58
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,739
我只是闹你们的

59
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,909
你这个恶魔 让我以为

60
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,745
学校会毁灭 又打破我美梦

61
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,873
我也不觉得好笑 巴特

62
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:30,752
你完全不知道我爬进去了多深

63
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:37,800
妈 你听说学校出事就跑来接我

64
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,345
其实我只是刚好

65
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,972
夜宿在胡子叔叔那里

66
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:48,353
妈 你答应过不会再宿醉着来学校

67
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:54,317
老实说我在自卑沉沦 整天跟烂人混

68
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:55,652
你好 盖瑞

69
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,820
这是封口费 请你假装不认识我

70
00:03:58,488 --> 00:03:59,572
发达了

71
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:02,617
尼尔森 你的置物柜借我睡一下

72
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,410
自由了

73
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,626
孩子 你害这人

74
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,211
抢在我之前逞英雄

75
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:17,340
多亏了你 现在没人能带手榴弹上学

76
00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:20,677
这次你会被退学 别想复学

77
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,804
拜托别这么做

78
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,973
他没别的地方可去

79
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,892
巴特·辛普森 我宣布…

80
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,353
等下 我跟这男孩是多年邻居

81
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,605
他尚可教化 让我在课后辅导他

82
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:36,985
我会用3P原则教化他
坚持 祷告还有坚持祷告

83
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,736
老天 原来你是信那个宗教的

84
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,447
-主啊
-别下跪…

85
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,574
这是公立学校 拜托别这样

86
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,076
<i>遇神棍时请开启</i>

87
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:49,330
“恩格尔诉维塔尔案 1962年
最高法院称”

88
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:53,751
督学 请以开明取代制式防堵

89
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,004
“身为政府主导信仰计划的一部分”

90
00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,380
“这是一件历史大事…”

91
00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:58,506
<i>祈祷群</i>

92
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:01,009
我对祈祷的热爱反应在我的胸毛上

93
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:04,304
我进错群组了

94
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,889
“纽约州上诉法院的判决被驳回”

95
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,808
“而驳回理由…”

96
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:09,892
阿门

97
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,979
督学 已有205名认证祈祷者加入

98
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:15,148
你要我把你办公室电话发给他们吗

99
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,441
<i>查默斯局长</i>

100
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,067
<i>春田小学</i>

101
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:18,776
<i>啊哦</i>

102
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,321
好 住手 我受够了

103
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:22,989
我们不会叫巴特退学

104
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,532
谢谢你…

105
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:28,369
前提是你要辅导他 不让他

106
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,955
受他爸的不良行为影响

107
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,498
双赢

108
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,168
午安 巴特

109
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:39,464
在你接受特殊教育的同时
我加入了法文社

110
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,466
只要别用法文笑我 我都随便

111
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,134
你是个低劣的人

112
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:46,095
与法兰德斯一起度过欢乐的一天

113
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,180
明天见

114
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,599
我们去野餐吧

115
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:51,976
闭嘴 拜托

116
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,187
你不会说法文啊

117
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,444
是不是很棒 儿子

118
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,405
洗碗不只能做家事 还能顺便冥想

119
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,324
我的确感到平静

120
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,658
我切到手了

121
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,118
天啊…

122
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:11,788
骗你的

123
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:16,167
我也能让你真的流血 小混蛋

124
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,378
你说什么

125
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:22,215
我的意思是态度要好 态度决定高度

126
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,968
我没吃过动症的药就带我来钓鱼
你虐待儿童

127
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,846
安静 没钓到东西就没晚餐吃

128
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,683
可恶的钓鱼 可恶的宁静致远

129
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:35,353
可恶的夕阳

130
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:39,690
那么五彩缤纷 又美又闪又金黄…

131
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,026
留意鱼竿的动静 巴特 有鱼上钩了

132
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,237
我钓到了…

133
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,864
我靠我双手谋杀了一条鱼

134
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:50,118
别得意忘形 还得先开膛破肚才能吃

135
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:52,453
首先 最重要的是 我们得生火

136
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,205
用什么生

137
00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:56,958
自己解决问题能打造品格

138
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,088
换你了

139
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,634
我的手好痛 你这是虐待童工

140
00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:08,302
这是我做过最蠢的…

141
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,931
唉呦 我的妈

142
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:15,476
唉呦 我的妈…

143
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,647
-感觉如何
-很棒 怎么会这样

144
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,441
这个叫成就感 孩子

145
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:24,527
成就感靠自己取得 且永不能被剥夺

146
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:25,862
另类握手

147
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:29,240
现在你悟得此道 前途不可限量

148
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,535
<i>赞美诗 9 16 195</i>

149
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,126
我的天

150
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,463
我们儿子以前不会这样唱歌

151
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:46,549
若是你问我 我会说唱得有够难听

152
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,219
真神奇

153
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,555
本以为要让巴特变成小天使

154
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,348
得要先电死他 送他去投胎

155
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,686
你一定很自豪 那孩子完全判若两人

156
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,188
这个嘛

157
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,982
恭喜 奈德·法兰德斯

158
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,817
干得好 法兰德斯

159
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,277
你太棒了 奈德

160
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:09,322
功劳也不能全算在他身上

161
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,074
多亏我们先破坏 他才能有表现机会

162
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:23,669
蠢法兰德斯 我来是为了想感谢你

163
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,922
若有什么是我能帮你做的…

164
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,591
首先 你可以不要再叫我蠢法兰德斯

165
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:30,510
要狮子大开口了

166
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,636
不 就这一条

167
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,431
谢谢你 法兰德斯

168
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:36,933
也没那么难吧

169
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:39,185
他躲在胡子下偷笑

170
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,564
你们怎么在这

171
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:47,485
巴特在做数学作业 我想要亲眼确认

172
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:51,239
你听好 我能自己辅导小孩

173
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,407
我瞧瞧

174
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:57,161
四又三分之二加六分之五等于…

175
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,706
让我屈指一算…

176
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,833
糟糕 作业被狗吃了

177
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:09,507
没关系 老爸
法兰德斯先生已协助我完成了

178
00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:15,930
既然我看起来这么无用
就让我带着我的尊严离去吧

179
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,392
<i>大而无用</i>

180
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:21,686
<i>忧郁明戴尔</i>

181
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,858
<i>公交站</i>

182
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,860
我儿子不爱我

183
00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:33,573
<i>你现在虽然伤心</i>
<i>但你儿子会很感激你</i>

184
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:37,118
<i>等他再大一点 就会尊敬你了</i>

185
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,786
你一点也不懂我

186
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,455
<i>春田市掩埋场</i>
<i>五万只海鸥挂保证</i>

187
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,879
孩子 我也很伤心

188
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,426
你不该独自在此

189
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,262
没人在乎我

190
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,307
我爸抛弃我们 我妈是酒鬼

191
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,935
我家住拖车 但轮胎都没气了

192
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:06,105
我最后吃过的固体食物是冰块

193
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:09,609
我的电视是里面住了松鼠的牛奶箱

194
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,154
这孩子有够惨 就连我都能帮他

195
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:16,866
然后我能借此报复巴特

196
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:25,207
想要理发 还得等
园丁剪树时躲在树丛中

197
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:26,876
我要出手吗

198
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,714
利用一个孩子的感情

199
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,966
去让另个孩子吃醋是否是错的

200
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,302
这种事谁也说不准

201
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,471
来吧 孩子 我来帮你

202
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,311
够了 别流鼻水了

203
00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:55,613
孩子 想要有心灵导师吗

204
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:56,864
心灵导师是什么

205
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:59,700
心灵导师是一种特别的老师

206
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,243
但你什么都不会

207
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,329
我有很多东西可以教你

208
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,289
如何把派里面的内馅偷走

209
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:07,458
如何不捐血也拿到赠品

210
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,585
如何用薄荷口香糖来除体臭

211
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,004
搞不好我还能找人帮你修补牙齿

212
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,090
有专门治疗牙齿的医生

213
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:16,050
哇哦

214
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,803
那你能教我如何破解这迷宫吗

215
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:22,056
我们两个可以一起合作破解

216
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:25,476
好棒 我先失陪一下 去拿西红柿酱

217
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:31,148
等我用完再还给你

218
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,319
你好 巴特

219
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:38,197
我想告诉你 我要去尼尔森家

220
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:41,325
我们很好 非常要好

221
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,786
首先 老爸 是你打给我

222
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:48,499
然后你照顾尼尔森
该不会是为了报复巴特吧

223
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,584
才不是

224
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,379
但若见到巴特 记得给他看这个

225
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,256
<i>老爸传来四张照片 下载</i>

226
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:04,390
孩子 我来教你被太太扫地出门时

227
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,308
要如何打包

228
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,519
你的衣服被丢在前院草坪了吗

229
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:11,230
假设你有足够时间去拿行李箱

230
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:12,565
行李箱是什么

231
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,192
好 我们换个话题

232
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:19,113
好 但我想先问你
你跟我妈有一腿吗

233
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:20,281
没有

234
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,491
你是第一个这么说的人

235
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:27,830
这就是我们的目标 孩子们

236
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,875
真不敢相信我们要去参加游行

237
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,209
基督教徒的骄傲

238
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,087
教友终于能真情流露了

239
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:38,716
又笃定又纯洁 不喜欢就走开

240
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,803
你好 巴特 你看我在教谁骑自行车

241
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,889
尼尔森早就会骑自行车了

242
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:47,975
但他不知道怎么发出超酷摩托车声音

243
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,990
我来帮你重新上车

244
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:07,119
我跟尼尔森是好朋友
大家都叫我们霍默森

245
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,871
霍默森出发

246
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:13,918
霍默森

247
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,963
妈 你看到了吗

248
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,299
-看见了
-你要做什么吗

249
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:22,051
-不做
-为什么

250
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:26,305
这件事很复杂 两个男孩都因此受惠

251
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:30,392
但我的重点是该帮玛吉换尿布了

252
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,353
你在哪 我的小借口

253
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:37,024
抱歉

254
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:40,194
<i>老莫小酒馆</i>

255
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,660
老爸 你到底在教尼尔森什么

256
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,538
存钱入户

257
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,248
瞄准目标

258
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,418
利用对音乐的兴趣生财

259
00:13:57,419 --> 00:14:00,256
这是四十美元 几乎是我全部身家

260
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:03,926
我希望你能为你的行为
去寻求专业治疗

261
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:06,428
四十美元的专业治疗 马上就来

262
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,139
我是指有照的治疗师

263
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:10,724
老莫有卖酒执照

264
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:13,310
这个我们就不要深究了

265
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,396
把钱拿去 有病就要医

266
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,815
你干嘛这样

267
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:20,401
老爸 我得站在道德制高点发声

268
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:21,861
才不需要

269
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,113
我喜欢站在道德制高点

270
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:28,033
我也宁愿相信代言啤酒没让我定型

271
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,411
我还是能演莎翁剧

272
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:34,415
舞台的闪耀比不上达夫金黄啤酒

273
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,835
要尿还是不尿 不需要思考这问题

274
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,044
糟糕

275
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,213
失陪了 我得去解放一下

276
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,965
<i>爱情测试 卡萨诺瓦</i>
<i>性感女郎 好极了</i>

277
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,925
<i>心理治疗与排气检验</i>
<i>都没过就免费</i>

278
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:47,136
医生 我现在明白了

279
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:50,848
我害怕成功 是因为我爸没时间陪我

280
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,308
-意味着…
-时间到

281
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,727
-再说两分钟…
-没什么突破

282
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,605
结果我比原本更难过

283
00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:58,856
下个月见

284
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:03,110
四十美元只能治疗十分钟 有话快说

285
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:06,322
为了让儿子嫉妒

286
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,948
然后发生奇怪的事

287
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:10,326
我竟然开始喜欢那个浑小子

288
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:11,660
救我

289
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:13,579
我震怒了

290
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:17,249
你竟然为了可笑的自尊心
毁了两个男孩的一生

291
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,668
我告诉你 一个好的治疗师会这么说

292
00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:23,005
好的治疗师会说
“你做的都是对的”

293
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:25,174
-那种话只会对有钱人说
-噢

294
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,637
心灵导师来了

295
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:33,641
霍默宝贝 进来陪陪妈咪

296
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,268
听着女士 我没兴趣去…

297
00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:37,603
-搞什么…
-我知道

298
00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:42,733
你会陪我儿子只是为了让你儿子嫉妒

299
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:46,570
迟早你都会像别人那样离开他

300
00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,667
那绝对会让他心碎

301
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,669
我不是来拯救世界的

302
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,880
我是心灵导师
我只负责耍耍嘴皮 然后闪人

303
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:13,222
告诉那男孩实情

304
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,272
孩子 我们得谈谈

305
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,984
不…我知道结局

306
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:29,029
你会给我假的电话号码
让我找不到你

307
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:30,406
不 等等

308
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,782
你想要说什么

309
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:37,788
我担任你的心灵导师
只为了报复我儿子变得更乖

310
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:40,290
-我就知道
-你要去哪

311
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:45,045
我要去报复 我无法强迫你留下
但我可以拿你儿子出气

312
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:47,548
不要报复巴特 我很爱他

313
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,344
<i>报复箱</i>

314
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,098
<i>导师报复计划</i>

315
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,440
<i>哈哈哈</i>

316
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,275
<i>基督徒骄傲游行</i>
<i>提示 骄傲是罪孽</i>

317
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,862
我们是基督徒 我们骄傲
但别大声说

318
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:12,906
牵手是神圣的

319
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,242
你有涂乳液吗

320
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:16,744
我的手很干

321
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,957
<i>纯洁的牧师</i>

322
00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:36,597
<i>圣水 鱼与饼 信仰预测</i>

323
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,477
<i>选择神就是选择坤比</i>

324
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:43,020
<i>游行高潮 祷告手</i>

325
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,447
欢迎各位教友

326
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:56,617
神想向赞助厂商

327
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,160
蒙哥马利·伯恩斯致谢

328
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,246
你怎么不去死

329
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,916
伯恩斯先生稍后才会回答问题

330
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,502
感谢这场超棒的游行

331
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:10,339
你们这些右翼蠢蛋会一直让我连任

332
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,550
<i>犹太人支持耶稣 无神论行不通</i>

333
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:16,845
在游行的精彩高潮时

334
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,681
在最后一个花车安全越过转角后

335
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,392
一双巨大的祷告手会从街的两侧推进

336
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:25,270
并以靠拢来象征神圣的结合

337
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,355
<i>打烈士</i>

338
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:35,155
他要压扁巴特 法兰德斯在哪

339
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,615
在这 你需要什么

340
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:37,866
你滚开

341
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,580
<i>气球荆棘冠冕</i>

342
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,291
<i>非教友科学箴言报 医生也爱读</i>

343
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:58,178
不

344
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:06,728
你好 老爸

345
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,481
儿子 要跟我一起坐救护车吗

346
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,358
这是我俩的共同嗜好

347
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,533
-老爸
-是的 儿子

348
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,660
氧气可以借我吸一下吗

349
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,162
当然

350
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:26,623
我是好棒的老爸

351
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:27,749
<i>救护车</i>

352
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,003
<i>剧终</i>

353
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,547
<i>不行 片长还不够长</i>

354
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:38,594
抱歉我利用了你 你是个好孩子

355
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,929
有天我们能边喝酒边拿这件事说笑

356
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,681
-明天行吗
-当然行

357
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,351
但今天 我认识某蠢蛋

358
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:49,438
比我更擅长这件事

359
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:54,568
孩子 怎么了

360
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:58,197
你这种有钱的教友怎么会懂

361
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,365
我自己也有两个闯祸精

362
00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:02,409
是谁准你们打扫掩埋场的

363
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:03,577
没有人

364
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,537
我想我可以理解你的感受

365
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:08,290
你失去你爸
我失去两任法兰德斯太太

366
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:11,376
或许我们四个
能一起去看球赛 你觉得呢

367
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:12,628
爸爸

368
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:15,255
好棒 我们有兄弟了

369
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:17,007
很凶的寄养兄弟

370
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:25,933
愿主保佑罗德及托德
特别是我的超棒心灵导师

371
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,392
法兰德斯先生

372
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:28,685
阿门

373
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,146
我去帮大家拿干净的餐巾纸

374
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:33,523
情况如何

375
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,944
我还是不敢相信你放弃了霸凌人生

376
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:39,488
我能说什么 人都会改变

377
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,324
哈哈

378
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:53,126
再跟我说一次
我为何放弃法兰德斯而选择你

379
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,295
因为我们能这样

380
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,003
字幕翻译：侯敏生