1
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阿森一族

2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,338
我時日無多了

3
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:06,589
（歡迎蒞臨春田核電廠）

4
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,343
（崇高的靈魂讓矮小的人顯得偉大）

5
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:11,428
（豬油小子甜甜圈）

6
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:13,221
（2020眼鏡，無法長期改善視力
僅限本年有效）

7
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,305
（春田小學）

8
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:17,976
（教師在除夕自我居家隔離）

9
00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:25,734
（整整三天未出意外）

10
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,277
（庫斯提絕對伏特加）

11
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:30,030
（庫斯提香甜粟米片，番茄煙草汁）

12
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:46,880
噢

13
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:14,365
（《生態小戰士雜誌》，世界末日）

14
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:19,621
妳好，小妹妹
若妳多開口笑，看起來會更美

15
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:21,456
什麼？你邊位？

16
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:24,501
我係男人，所以我講的一定對

17
00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:26,961
笑口常開保證讓妳更受歡迎

18
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,381
認真？你知道這句話
我會記得一世吧？

19
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,716
就是這樣才需要心理醫生啊

20
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:32,801
（地球優先）

21
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:36,471
他說如果我不笑就不美

22
00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:39,099
甜心，妳很美

23
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:42,852
多虧手機app，我們可以預計未來

24
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,104
（青春期魔鏡）

25
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（社會邊緣人）

26
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:56,366
等等，不可能是真的
我已經裝過牙套

27
00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:59,869
恐怕妳得要再裝多次

28
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:05,500
幫妳矯正牙齒的其實是偽牙周病醫師

29
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:10,755
偽牙周病醫師，這家人總愛貪便宜

30
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:13,675
荷馬帶我去看一個“精神科醫師”

31
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,220
三個療程後才發現是隻戴眼鏡的羊

32
00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,305
後來我就閃人了

33
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,184
再戴多次牙套？

34
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:26,771
點解成家得我需要戴牙套？

35
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,738
咪得戚，細路，你也試試這個app

36
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:38,950
你好，靚仔

37
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,663
讚嘆青春期，我們看看之後

38
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:44,831
（巴特辛普森，卒於17歲）

39
00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:45,874
好cool

40
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,960
老公，你看，郵差送來這個

41
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,170
乜來的？

42
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:53,882
我又飲醉酒上網亂買？
唔好畀佢停繼續買

43
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:55,258
（特價糖果，莫瑞波維奇父權劇集）

44
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:58,595
辛普森一家，你們好

45
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:03,308
我是預錄的亞提吉弗

46
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,268
所以你們無得駁嘴

47
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,979
-堅無得駁？
-係，無得駁

48
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,898
罐頭笑聲停一下

49
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,274
感謝各位

50
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:14,736
亞提吉弗？
那個本來能成為我們老豆的富翁？

51
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,780
你媽只跟過我一個男人

52
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,866
而且從未後悔

53
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,118
-這個嘛
-妳不要插嘴，美枝

54
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:25,288
好消息，我要結婚了，而你們受邀

55
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:28,291
好奇我為何要結婚嗎？

56
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:31,211
我找到我個靈魂伴侶

57
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:32,670
妒忌嗎？

58
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,131
（參加，不參加）

59
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,217
4月12號，富翁婚禮，包你眼紅

60
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,052
雞肉或魚肉或是純素

61
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（廢物）

62
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:41,262
再見

63
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,889
你們還收到些什麼？

64
00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,642
我們收到Lowe's廣告

65
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:49,896
60分夾板，一大塊只賣20美元

66
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:53,608
我來也，弊，我無車

67
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,402
妳該不會真的打算去吧？

68
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,404
那混蛋一直想拆散我們

69
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:01,532
我感到出現內部矛盾

70
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:05,370
若你倆光臨，我保證賓主盡歡

71
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:08,790
香檳，魚子醬，酥炸冰雕

72
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:12,168
永遠低估你們體重的陌生人

73
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,379
（接受，拒絕）

74
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:18,800
感謝，為表慶祝
歡迎Hip Hop天王圖柏克

75
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,176
咪遲到

76
00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:22,512
亞提兄弟要搞派對

77
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,514
婚禮會超浮誇

78
00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:27,392
為何不讓我安息？

79
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,977
這個點熄？

80
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,104
無人能阻止亞提秀

81
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:34,023
-幾時完我話事…
-麻煩放我自由

82
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,317
-在這裡
-願主保佑妳

83
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,236
（兒規牙齒矯正診所）

84
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:39,237
（兒規醫生）

85
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,702
現在是大家最喜歡的步驟，請漱口

86
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:50,623
完成了，上半部的牙套

87
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,333
下週再來裝下半部

88
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,670
在那之後，只需要戴一世維持器

89
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,463
它們幾乎是透明的

90
00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,924
我嘴巴合唔埋

91
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,218
托架迫使妳嘴角向上

92
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,887
過一排就會好，至少妳好開心

93
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,556
我先無開心

94
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,765
來一點笑氣

95
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,562
妳應該被吊銷執照

96
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,314
再來一點

97
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,190
-夠了
-不，不夠

98
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:17,859
好，還我

99
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,403
我還以為妳叫“兒規”

100
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,655
那是簡稱

101
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:25,408
在羅馬尼亞文是屠殺兒童的意思

102
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,994
（告別單身派對，婚前倒數兩日）

103
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,588
電梯最多可載32人

104
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,382
我們上週還運了一隻犀牛上來

105
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,301
（自選龍蝦）

106
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:45,178
（自選小牛肉）

107
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:46,346
（自選超級盃戒指）

108
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,139
我好頭痛

109
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,397
妒忌嗎？

110
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:00,943
對腳郁吓啦

111
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:04,697
你真係萬中選一
真係瀕危物種，別從樓上跌下去

112
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:08,993
荷馬辛普森，打敗我搶走美枝的人

113
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:11,162
對億萬富翁來說，你也撈得唔錯

114
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:14,707
我都唔係點使錢都深不見底
其實，我真係深不見底

115
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假釋後，我靠賣睇落似錢的柴發達

116
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:21,047
又名“燒錢樂”

117
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,632
（燒錢樂）

118
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:25,551
勁有型，上面寫住“燒錢樂”

119
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:27,512
睇落似在燒銀紙

120
00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:28,888
對，本意正是如此

121
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:32,850
不…太好笑，你唔明呀？

122
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,519
我當然明，是我構思出來

123
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:37,480
聽我說，這叫“燒錢樂”

124
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:38,940
但其實

125
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,984
我知道…你去同別人講吧

126
00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:44,695
兄弟，你係新聞主播，老實同我講

127
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,406
這個婚禮到底是不是真的？

128
00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,449
內幕報料你知，係真的

129
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:52,078
快報，新聞主播意圖勾搭到會侍應

130
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,997
即時回應，她知道我已婚

131
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:56,999
稍後11點正，無睇頭

132
00:06:57,166 --> 00:07:01,003
荷馬，既然係告別單身派對
我有東西給你看

133
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,756
但千萬別向老婆透露

134
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,591
你係點識你老婆的？

135
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,845
老土劇情，男一見鍾情，女見錢眼開

136
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:13,349
現在，閉上眼睛
你從沒見過這麼火辣的肉體

137
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,185
完全係我夢寐以求的

138
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:19,981
暴食昏厥，他不會有事的

139
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:29,991
妳好，閨密

140
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:31,909
我嗎？

141
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:36,539
麗莎，妳有用蜜蠟修眉嗎？
妳睇落容光煥發

142
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,040
我無眉毛

143
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:40,835
妳看我的兩條毛毛蟲

144
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,629
到底乜事？

145
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:48,676
她的微笑讓我滿足，像昨晚飽餐一頓

146
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:51,304
你從來不吃，點解會咁肥？

147
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:56,726
美國人就是又肥又窮
我們正因此偉大

148
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:57,852
（夏綠蒂的網）

149
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:02,315
所以在拯救韋柏後，夏綠蒂爬向死亡

150
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:06,944
就像所有秋季的蜘蛛那樣

151
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:13,284
太精彩，麗莎
妳為這堂課做了好正面的結尾

152
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,162
正面？

153
00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:19,957
夏綠蒂在世上最悲傷的地方孤獨死去

154
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:22,043
一個空曠的遊樂場

155
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:25,296
妳的微笑讓孤獨死去變得有趣

156
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,924
相信我，那是我未來的命運

157
00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:29,884
所以只要微笑

158
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,136
嘴裡講乜出來都得？

159
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:33,513
用個鼻都得？

160
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:39,018
我不需要這些了

161
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:40,770
（左洛復）

162
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,105
加落威利的燉菜裡實會好味

163
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,818
人類真的這麼膚淺嗎？

164
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:51,531
麗莎…

165
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,575
我有膚淺到以此為樂嗎？

166
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:56,452
我有

167
00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:00,456
我好開心，想高聲唱

168
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:04,418
你好，世界

169
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,256
戴著牙套高歌好痛

170
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:11,300
-自己揀
-那些是什麼藥？

171
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,844
不知道，標籤寫的是西班牙文

172
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,936
-妳好，美人
-你好，巴特

173
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,772
麗莎，好噁心，我唔知係妳

174
00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:30,027
因為微笑
完全改變大家對我的睇法

175
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:33,322
我想讓妳知道，我永遠會覺得妳噁心

176
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:37,451
感謝主
我懷疑這是否算是歧視女性

177
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,370
然後我找到這個

178
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,539
（學生勿看，請勿丟棄）

179
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:43,207
（請放在圖書館書架底層）

180
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:49,213
（令女性在職場讓人驚豔指南）

181
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:51,507
自從避孕藥面世

182
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:54,093
單身女性充斥職場

183
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:58,514
你杯咖啡，吉姆
加甜，像你喜歡的那樣

184
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,559
記得提我申請離婚

185
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,770
但有些女性無法“融入”

186
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,064
我真係唔明，吉姆

187
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,358
我準備了超強講稿

188
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,986
結果反應超冷淡

189
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:15,323
妳無準備好一樣東西，就係妳個樣

190
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,742
但我已搽了成面化妝品

191
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:19,994
讓我對妳上下其手，點出問題

192
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,287
不用問，即管來

193
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:26,542
妳的臉上有個秘密武器

194
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,961
現在妳肯定可以獲得升職

195
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:30,087
真的嗎？

196
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:31,922
假的

197
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,051
明我點解睇呢個唔順超嗎？

198
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:36,427
因為妳睇乜都唔順超？

199
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:39,805
因為這代表個死老坑是對的

200
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:42,433
因為我微笑，所以我變得大受歡迎

201
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,768
我講過啦

202
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,447
竟然唔係成地都是係亞提個樣
或者他成熟了

203
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:57,948
（歡迎光臨吉弗的婚禮）

204
00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,950
（做我真係爽）

205
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,622
來此替我人生的一章劃下句點

206
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,332
那就祝福彼此吧

207
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,585
好奇怪

208
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,546
女家那邊呀周台慶咁鬼影都無個

209
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:21,055
請問一下，我們需要
有人拖新娘行紅地氈，你願意嗎？

210
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,557
先話我知，紅地氈有多長？

211
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,059
大約20呎

212
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:28,270
好，我來，但我要雙份蛋糕

213
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:35,986
細路大得真快，我知道這天遲早會來

214
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,031
妳永遠都是我的小公主

215
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:42,910
若他傷害我的小寶貝，我就殺了他

216
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:44,829
你夠了

217
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,997
各位親友

218
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,250
很高興能通知大家

219
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,669
新郎和新娘自己寫下誓言

220
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,507
跟劇本啦，外行人

221
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:03,305
天，這太奇怪了

222
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,808
亞提，你是最好的愛人

223
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,728
我們上床時，真係好勁

224
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,439
我頂唔順了，我們閃吧

225
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,359
太恐怖了，就連犀牛也閃了

226
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,864
現在可以錫新娘了

227
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,871
這是我們婚禮的示意圖

228
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,082
妳睇落好開心
這是我們蜜月的示意圖

229
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,585
兩天在俄亥俄州，兩天在密芝根州

230
00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:37,298
然後北上安大略，換個國際風味

231
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,424
（美國橡膠，新婚夫婦）

232
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:39,925
我才不開心

233
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,635
我畫了一張妳在密芝根說這句話的圖

234
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:42,845
（傑拉爾德福特總統圖書館
我不開心）

235
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:46,432
這個微笑太假
根本沒什麼好開心的事

236
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:49,268
這個世界一團糟，這學校也是

237
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:51,979
我係話，好好丟垃圾有幾難？

238
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,191
開心女孩把東西丟到洞裡

239
00:12:55,274 --> 00:13:00,029
（回收）

240
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:04,784
等等，我能用新魔力來改變世界

241
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,327
導人向善

242
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,080
（堆肥，回收）

243
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:13,584
（春田禪園）

244
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:14,710
（石棉）

245
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:15,920
（蘆筍）

246
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,759
不容置疑

247
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,928
同意

248
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:25,846
我做得到

249
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,556
快點

250
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,684
（麗莎競選學生會會長）

251
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,686
（投麗莎就能踢我）

252
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:35,189
（忠誠，正直，榮獲獎學金
甜美笑容）

253
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:38,943
你抄我，麗莎未受歡迎前我就撐她了

254
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,528
你從來不喜歡麗莎

255
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:44,031
什麼？你肯定記得
我最著名就是那件事

256
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,117
才怪，你最著名的是一揍就哭

257
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:48,327
證明給我看

258
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:53,415
你讓我一點成就感都無

259
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:55,668
民調出爐，妳選情很好

260
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:58,379
妳籠絡了主要族群
討厭米爾豪斯的女孩

261
00:13:58,587 --> 00:13:59,755
玩打鞦韆的也愛妳

262
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,632
玩搖搖板的就好搖擺

263
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:03,342
那瀡滑梯的呢？

264
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:06,136
他們唔上唔落
但玩攀爬架的還在爬

265
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,263
目前的調查是如此

266
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:11,183
就像所有僅剩一週的選情，妳贏硬

267
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:14,603
別這麼老定
我的對手很頑強，都比亞史巴克勒

268
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,272
（老子要參選）

269
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,691
你看他的負面廣告

270
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,735
麗莎辛普森說寫字要用手

271
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:24,029
計數要用筆

272
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:25,823
知道我點睇嗎？

273
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,370
別擔心，妳只要繼續微笑

274
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:35,040
我明天跟矯正牙醫有約，要去微調

275
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,543
囊中之物，會長大人

276
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,295
別這麼老定

277
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:42,214
我為妳的就職典禮畫了示意圖

278
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:45,342
我看起來超容光煥發的

279
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,802
（兒規牙齒矯正診所）

280
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,766
好，孩子，妳的下牙套裝好了

281
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,936
我個微笑去了邊？

282
00:14:56,937 --> 00:15:00,482
不，弊傢伙
我表情反映我的感覺

283
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,776
半年後，妳會有完美的牙齒

284
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,821
半年？我現在就要賣笑

285
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,615
不，我能用意志力克服

286
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:15,122
拉爾夫誤把維持器丟進垃圾桶了
我們能點補救？

287
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,916
重做一副要五百美元

288
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:20,085
這次祕密任務是什麼，警長？

289
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:22,880
姑且說我們在搜索維持器

290
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:30,179
（警方，垃圾島位於正前方）

291
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:33,557
我瞧瞧，我要帶這些

292
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:35,976
停手

293
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:39,063
美枝，雪櫃仔入面都係免費的

294
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,982
知道瑞士三角朱古力市價幾多嗎？

295
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:44,276
荷馬，停手

296
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,946
我無法不去想那個可憐女人

297
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:50,324
亞提娶她只因為她生得似我

298
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,951
我是說真係勁似

299
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,078
妳說得對，我們要去告訴她這點

300
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:58,165
但首先，我想對這張床做點壞事

301
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:09,468
妳確定我們可以來這裡
現在基本上算是他的蜜月

302
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,262
啊…

303
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:15,849
亞提？

304
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:18,352
我正處於人生谷底

305
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:19,895
但進來吧

306
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:26,652
身為女性，我想告訴你老婆實情

307
00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:28,153
好，有何不可？

308
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:29,780
當著她的面講

309
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:33,325
現在妳知道我的秘密了

310
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:37,371
我耗費數年神複製我心中的唯一伴侶

311
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:38,622
即係妳，美枝

312
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,252
但她們全都有某部分的瑕疵

313
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,879
這個很殘暴

314
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,715
這個一直想殺我

315
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,591
這個的頭是焗麵包機

316
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,261
而且入口太小不能焗貝果

317
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,472
你為何要娶機械人？

318
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,765
我無

319
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,517
那是我的最後一招

320
00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:00,811
我以為妳見到我倆咁襯

321
00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:03,397
會明白我倆該是天生一對

322
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:07,735
我就是詩人口中的“愛情的傻瓜”

323
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,570
-亞提
-什麼？

324
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,405
你不傻，你很聰明

325
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:15,242
你這瘋狂的計畫其實也有絕妙之處

326
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:18,871
試想若你把天才用在正途

327
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:21,123
太好了

328
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:25,669
只有妳能在腐朽的我身上看出神奇

329
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:27,963
我會成為一個更好的人

330
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,173
好極了

331
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:32,217
-然後妳就會愛我嗎？
-不會

332
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,804
那我就放棄吧

333
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:37,473
要嗎？

334
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:40,976
真討厭

335
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,186
（亞提吉弗孤兒院）

336
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:45,522
亞提，你和藍色瑪姬兵團獻身公益

337
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:48,192
接下來有什麼計畫？

338
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:50,069
我要娶其中一人為妻

339
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,322
我沒幫妳們做翅膀啊

340
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,948
生命自會找到出路

341
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,659
（學生會今日辯論，輸者留校觀察）

342
00:17:58,327 --> 00:17:59,620
大家請安靜

343
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,915
越快完成辯論，老師就能去食雪糕

344
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:05,042
（麗莎帶頭對抗皺眉，支持巴克勒）

345
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,752
別給西蒙吃，他會胃氣脹

346
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,587
我知道

347
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:13,884
我們請來特別主持人，瑪莉貝利州長

348
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:17,429
首位候選人是都比亞史巴克勒

349
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,890
都比亞…

350
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,266
那是你兄弟

351
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,310
他喜歡被稱為“他們”

352
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:26,355
因為他在我肚子裡吞掉了雙胞胎手足

353
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,525
另一位候選人因病使用視訊連線

354
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:33,362
麗莎辛普森
麗莎，抱歉，請問妳有何政見？

355
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:38,367
我對學校有大計畫，高瞻遠矚的計畫

356
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:43,455
我能做出成果
我的對手甚至拚不出“成果”這個詞

357
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,667
我當然會，“繩子”的“繩”

358
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:51,130
“蘋果”的“果”，繩果

359
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:52,923
成果不是那樣拚的

360
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,634
麗莎聽落根本無病

361
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,763
你說你以前做過

362
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,141
那是我的男性自尊在回答

363
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,650
麗莎在用笑面app

364
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,158
好，我試著愚弄大家，我錯了

365
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,285
這真是萬惡不赦

366
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:23,162
你來學校政見辯論幹嘛？

367
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:26,123
我的私生子是在校生

368
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:28,876
好羞愧

369
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,919
我的政見還是很好

370
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,505
我只聽到有人在呤呤沉沉

371
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,924
都比亞…

372
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,677
都比亞…

373
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,221
不是吧

374
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:46,059
我不想相信我受歡迎全因為蠢微笑

375
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,228
但還真的是

376
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,480
妳還是孩子，而且世界在改變

377
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:54,776
在未來，人們不會以外貌論斷女人
而是以內涵

378
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:58,947
或許吧，但未來好遙遠

379
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,074
我講過啦，妳該笑多點

380
00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:03,994
未來從現在開始

381
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:12,711
我要敬酒，我終於讓妳們盡善盡美

382
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:15,505
外貌和美枝相同，而且永遠不會離開

383
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:19,593
現在，哪位幸運女孩想與亞提同樂？

384
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:24,264
我在省電模式

385
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,683
隨妳，妳們兩個呢？

386
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,101
省電模式

387
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,312
電量僅剩百分之一

388
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,440
我就是不喜歡你

389
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:37,527
我就當那是飛吻了

390
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:56,880
（畢業舞會）

391
00:20:56,964 --> 00:21:00,884
（立刻開始省電，支持廢核）

392
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,808
（《蠢人才需微笑》
麗莎辛普森著）