1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,333 ♪ The Flanderseseseses ♪ 2 00:00:08,291 --> 00:00:11,375 ♪ Okily-dokily, okily-dokily ♪ 3 00:00:11,667 --> 00:00:13,375 ♪ Come meet Ned Flanders ♪ 4 00:00:13,458 --> 00:00:15,750 ♪ And his two boys Rod and Todd ♪ 5 00:00:15,834 --> 00:00:18,750 ♪ He's friends with God And has a ripped bod ♪ 6 00:00:18,834 --> 00:00:21,250 ♪ Diddly ♪ 7 00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:23,792 ♪ Doodily, diddly ♪ 8 00:00:23,875 --> 00:00:26,458 ♪ Doodily ♪ 9 00:00:26,542 --> 00:00:31,792 ♪ Diddly... ♪ 10 00:00:31,875 --> 00:00:35,542 ♪ Doodily ♪ 11 00:00:35,625 --> 00:00:38,291 ♪ Diddly, doodily, diddly... ♪ 12 00:00:38,375 --> 00:00:40,417 No couch, boys. I gave it to the poor. 13 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,208 -Yay! -Yay! 14 00:00:42,291 --> 00:00:44,291 ♪ A-diddly-doodily ♪ 15 00:00:44,375 --> 00:00:45,959 ♪ Diddly-doodily ♪ 16 00:00:48,041 --> 00:00:50,041 -Neddy? Neddy. -Mm? (grunts softly) 17 00:00:50,125 --> 00:00:52,291 Oh, Maude, you've come back. 18 00:00:52,375 --> 00:00:54,959 Completely clothed and untouchable. 19 00:00:55,041 --> 00:00:57,250 This is the sexiest dream I've ever had. 20 00:00:57,333 --> 00:00:59,709 Wait, Maudie. Just one little kiss. 21 00:01:02,917 --> 00:01:04,834 (howls) 22 00:01:04,917 --> 00:01:06,417 All tongue, no lips. 23 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,709 Just like Maude. 24 00:01:07,792 --> 00:01:09,083 (crying) 25 00:01:09,166 --> 00:01:10,959 Daddy, why are you crying? 26 00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:13,083 Oh, just watering the old lip lawn. 27 00:01:13,166 --> 00:01:14,750 I had a dream about your mom. 28 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,000 Don't you ever dream about her? 29 00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:24,500 Faster, Mommy, faster. 30 00:01:25,667 --> 00:01:26,583 Aah! 31 00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:28,041 Ow! 32 00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:30,458 (screams) 33 00:01:31,542 --> 00:01:33,125 What's wrong, Todd? 34 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,208 I can never unsee that. 35 00:01:37,709 --> 00:01:39,291 (whimpers) 36 00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:41,625 It's okay, son. Just a bad dream. 37 00:01:41,709 --> 00:01:43,125 Want some lukewarm water? 38 00:01:43,208 --> 00:01:46,917 Daddy, I can't remember what Mommy looks like. 39 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,125 I think I might have a video or two of your mother. 40 00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:50,333 ROD: What's wrong? 41 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,417 (screams) 42 00:01:53,583 --> 00:01:56,417 I'm doing Mommy's old skin routine. 43 00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,834 Now, that's the healthy way to grieve. 44 00:01:59,125 --> 00:02:00,542 (Todd groans) 45 00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:05,250 (humming "Deck the Halls") 46 00:02:07,583 --> 00:02:09,000 (giggles) I'm scared. 47 00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:11,709 Well, I have faith in you. 48 00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:14,417 Who are you people, 49 00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:16,208 and what have you done with my family? 50 00:02:16,291 --> 00:02:17,917 -Answer me! -(chuckles) 51 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,000 Oh, Dad, every time we make you shovel the driveway, 52 00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:23,166 you wind up someplace crazy. 53 00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:24,917 Won't you join us for dinner? 54 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,542 (chuckles) He sure will. 55 00:02:26,625 --> 00:02:27,959 I'll pick him up tomorrow. 56 00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:29,000 (door creaks) 57 00:02:30,542 --> 00:02:32,667 (crying) Mommy was so nice. 58 00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:35,208 And she still is, Roddily Doddily. 59 00:02:35,291 --> 00:02:37,959 How do you know? Have you heard from her? 60 00:02:38,083 --> 00:02:39,709 Oh, uh, n-- no, sir. 61 00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:42,750 But, uh, faith is believing in something without proof. 62 00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,917 Uh, you can't see my lip below my mustache, 63 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,583 -but you know it's there. -Can I see it? 64 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,583 No. 65 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,834 My math teacher said 66 00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:53,125 believing in something without proof is crazy. 67 00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:55,792 You think the coat of many colors was crazy? 68 00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:57,792 Noah's ark and the Holy Ghost, crazy? 69 00:02:57,875 --> 00:03:01,208 Don't tell me you're doubting Balaam's talking ass. 70 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:06,959 Mommy, if you still remember me, give me a sign. 71 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:08,542 This is Homer Simpson auditioning 72 00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:11,333 for the air guitar championship of the world. 73 00:03:11,417 --> 00:03:13,792 I'm taking you down, Björn Türoque. 74 00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:15,417 (imitating guitar playing) 75 00:03:20,542 --> 00:03:22,375 ♪ Praise God from whom ♪ 76 00:03:22,458 --> 00:03:26,792 ♪ All blessings flow ♪ 77 00:03:26,875 --> 00:03:28,333 ♪ Praise God ♪ 78 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:33,333 ♪ It's almost time to go ♪ 79 00:03:33,417 --> 00:03:35,917 ♪ This boring sermon ♪ 80 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,959 ♪ Must end soon ♪ 81 00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:42,792 ♪ Arena football's ♪ 82 00:03:42,875 --> 00:03:46,417 ♪ On at noon ♪ 83 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:47,750 HOMER: Ooh! 84 00:03:47,834 --> 00:03:49,500 (crowd cheering) 85 00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:50,667 Whoo-hoo! 86 00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:54,083 And for that simple reason, we are right 87 00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:58,083 and Episcopalians are wrong, wrong, wrong. 88 00:03:58,166 --> 00:04:01,333 Now I'd like to invite our littlest parishioners to the front. 89 00:04:01,417 --> 00:04:04,542 Gertie, a little traveling music, please? 90 00:04:04,625 --> 00:04:07,458 (slow hymn playing) 91 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,542 Soon as we can, we're replacing her with Spotify. 92 00:04:12,625 --> 00:04:14,542 I'm taking middle C. 93 00:04:16,375 --> 00:04:19,917 So, tell me, young Christians, if you could speak to Baby Jesus, 94 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,583 what would you say? 95 00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:25,333 I'd say thank you for being born, 'cause that gave us Christmas. 96 00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:26,834 ALL: Aw! 97 00:04:26,917 --> 00:04:30,166 Mm, I'm killing it. Ralph, what would you say? 98 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:34,917 I'd say, "Baby Jesus, thank you for dying for our shins." 99 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,333 (congregation chuckles) 100 00:04:37,417 --> 00:04:40,250 And you, Todd? What would you say? 101 00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:48,834 (hoarsely) I lost my voice from crying. 102 00:04:49,417 --> 00:04:52,291 Oh, come on, young man. You're my closer. 103 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,125 ("Charge" playing) 104 00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:57,917 What would you say to Jesus? 105 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,709 I'd say... 106 00:04:59,792 --> 00:05:01,333 thanks for nothing! 107 00:05:01,417 --> 00:05:03,834 My mommy's dead and she's never coming back, 108 00:05:03,917 --> 00:05:06,000 and I don't believe in God anymore. 109 00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:07,125 (feedback screeches) 110 00:05:07,208 --> 00:05:08,625 (congregation gasps) 111 00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:12,750 No. No! (whimpers) 112 00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:18,083 Thank God these collection baskets were empty. 113 00:05:18,166 --> 00:05:19,500 You're welcome. 114 00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:25,291 ♪ A mighty problem ♪ 115 00:05:25,375 --> 00:05:27,542 ♪ Is our Todd ♪ 116 00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:30,208 ♪ His faith in God ♪ 117 00:05:30,291 --> 00:05:33,458 ♪ Is failing ♪ 118 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,792 ♪ Homer accidentally ♪ 119 00:05:36,875 --> 00:05:39,208 ♪ Killed his mom ♪ 120 00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:41,542 ♪ He knocked her off ♪ 121 00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:45,166 ♪ A railing ♪ 122 00:05:47,166 --> 00:05:49,959 (clock ticking) 123 00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,875 Now, son, let me put this gently. 124 00:05:52,959 --> 00:05:54,917 We're all going to hell! 125 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,041 You opened a doorway to disbelief in God's own house! 126 00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,417 Why does God need so many houses? 127 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,291 Couldn't some go to poor people? 128 00:06:02,375 --> 00:06:05,583 You just stop right there, boy. You do not question 129 00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:08,333 God's real estate holdings and tax-free status. 130 00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:11,291 (exhales) I have to let off a little steam. 131 00:06:11,375 --> 00:06:14,041 Shucks! Shucks! Shucks! 132 00:06:17,375 --> 00:06:18,542 (grunts) 133 00:06:18,625 --> 00:06:21,041 That's it. Young man, I am FaceTiming the reverend. 134 00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:25,875 (chuckles) Reverend, I know you hate it when I bother you. 135 00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:27,250 (theme from Swan Lake playing) 136 00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:29,583 -Aah! -(crying) 137 00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:31,166 It's okay. It's okay. 138 00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:33,625 I'm at my daughter's ballet recital. 139 00:06:33,709 --> 00:06:34,625 Oh, is she good? 140 00:06:34,709 --> 00:06:37,375 Seriously, are any of them good? 141 00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:39,458 Reverend, like the pharaoh's army in the Red Sea, 142 00:06:39,542 --> 00:06:40,667 I'm in over my head. 143 00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:42,750 My heathen son needs you right now. 144 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:47,000 Oh, sorry, got to go. 145 00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:50,750 I have to read the last rites for the art of ballet. 146 00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:53,291 Lord, please punish my boy thoroughly 147 00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:56,750 so he may once again believe in thine divine mercy. 148 00:06:56,834 --> 00:07:00,291 -Daddy, I have a problem. -Oh, you, too? 149 00:07:00,375 --> 00:07:04,000 I accidentally watched a 30 Rock by mistake. 150 00:07:04,083 --> 00:07:06,125 Oh! Oh, my good, good boy. 151 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:08,750 -Mm. -So it's okay to watch? 152 00:07:08,834 --> 00:07:11,458 Just Kenneth. Just Kenneth. Mm. 153 00:07:13,458 --> 00:07:14,625 (groans) 154 00:07:14,709 --> 00:07:17,542 Good morning, Rod. Todd. God. 155 00:07:17,792 --> 00:07:19,166 -Good morning. -Morning. 156 00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:22,250 Let us, uh, stiffly resume our nice, regular routine. 157 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,875 Dear Lord, we thank you for this breakfast, 158 00:07:23,959 --> 00:07:27,458 each generic brand Circle-O a symbol of God's unending love. 159 00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:29,500 -Amen. -Amen. 160 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:30,834 Todd? 161 00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:34,583 Son? Can I just get an amen? 162 00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,000 A prayer without an amen 163 00:07:37,083 --> 00:07:38,583 is like a Tootsie Pop without a center. 164 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,917 Oh, I apologize for thinking the word "tootsie." 165 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,208 But there must be a way to scare religion back into my son. 166 00:07:44,291 --> 00:07:47,083 Isn't there some hell on earth I could briefly place him in? 167 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,667 HOMER: Let me in, boy! 168 00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:51,250 The school bus will be here any minute! 169 00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:54,333 (laughs) To find your clothes, just solve this series of clues, 170 00:07:54,417 --> 00:07:56,750 what has bark but no bite? 171 00:07:56,834 --> 00:07:58,125 Um, the dog? 172 00:07:58,208 --> 00:08:00,792 -(imitates buzzer) Wrong. A tree. -(groans) 173 00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:02,500 Here's another. If a plane crashes 174 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,542 on the border of North and South Dakota, 175 00:08:04,625 --> 00:08:06,625 where do you bury the survivors? 176 00:08:06,709 --> 00:08:07,792 Uh, Minnesota. 177 00:08:07,875 --> 00:08:09,375 (imitates buzzer) Wrong. 178 00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:12,166 You don't bury the survivors. They're survivors! 179 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,208 I don't understand, but I'll bury you. 180 00:08:14,291 --> 00:08:16,041 Tell you what. I'll give you your pants back 181 00:08:16,125 --> 00:08:18,917 -if you can answer this last one. -Uh-huh. 182 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,083 -What has two hairs on top... -Right. 183 00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:23,583 -...is somebody's dad... -Somebody's dad, yes. 184 00:08:23,667 --> 00:08:26,333 ...and starting right now he's getting quite mad? 185 00:08:26,417 --> 00:08:29,333 I don't know, but just give me my pants, boy! 186 00:08:30,458 --> 00:08:31,583 (kids laughing) 187 00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,000 (Bart laughs) 188 00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:34,291 Can we take pictures? 189 00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:36,500 Wait, you see that, too? 190 00:08:39,458 --> 00:08:42,959 FLANDERS: That Simpson house will put the fear of God in him. 191 00:08:43,041 --> 00:08:44,583 Give me your pants. 192 00:08:45,834 --> 00:08:48,041 Todd Flanders, I cast thee out. 193 00:08:48,125 --> 00:08:50,458 ♪ His little mind ♪ 194 00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:53,417 ♪ Is filled with doubt ♪ 195 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:58,250 ♪ So now we have to cast him out ♪ 196 00:08:58,333 --> 00:09:03,041 ♪ You'll learn the Lord is sweet ♪ 197 00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:08,750 ♪ On his journey of 40 feet ♪ 198 00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:18,250 Daddy, do you love me more now? 199 00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:19,667 (chuckles) Just by asking, 200 00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:21,750 you have committed the sin of pride. 201 00:09:23,583 --> 00:09:24,834 Yes, Ned, yes. 202 00:09:24,917 --> 00:09:26,500 We'll keep him here till tomorrow. 203 00:09:26,583 --> 00:09:29,083 Yes, I'll read him a good bedtime story. 204 00:09:29,166 --> 00:09:31,083 Right, right. No wizards. 205 00:09:31,166 --> 00:09:33,583 No pagans. No wild things. 206 00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:35,959 How about The Very Hungry Caterpillar? 207 00:09:36,041 --> 00:09:37,625 No, that celebrates gluttony. 208 00:09:37,709 --> 00:09:39,291 Clifford the Big Red Dog? 209 00:09:39,375 --> 00:09:41,750 (scoffs) Clifford the satanic abomination. 210 00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:42,834 Everyone Poops? 211 00:09:42,917 --> 00:09:44,166 Not me. 212 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,959 Todd. Psst! Todd. 213 00:09:47,041 --> 00:09:49,375 I know what it's like to leave the faith of your family. 214 00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:51,000 Thank you so much, Lisa. 215 00:09:51,083 --> 00:09:52,625 At last, someone gets it. 216 00:09:52,709 --> 00:09:54,500 (new age music playing) 217 00:09:54,583 --> 00:09:56,500 But have I got a god for you. 218 00:09:56,583 --> 00:09:58,834 Consider the Buddha. He brings peace from within. 219 00:09:58,917 --> 00:10:00,792 He avoids the pitfalls of ego, 220 00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:02,834 he loves yoga and Yoda, 221 00:10:02,917 --> 00:10:04,834 and he's lost weight. 222 00:10:04,917 --> 00:10:06,500 What happens when you die? 223 00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:10,208 You get reincarnated as a human or an animal or a ghost. 224 00:10:10,291 --> 00:10:14,000 Pass. Buddha's no god, and neither is God. 225 00:10:14,917 --> 00:10:16,333 Don't worry, I'll get him. 226 00:10:16,417 --> 00:10:19,792 By the way, what did you reincarnate David Bowie as? 227 00:10:19,875 --> 00:10:21,959 Help me, love. It's Bowie. 228 00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:25,291 (gasps) I've been meditating too much. 229 00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:28,542 -Where's Todd? -It was horrible. 230 00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:30,542 I woke up, and he'd cleaned my room. 231 00:10:30,625 --> 00:10:32,417 What kind of psycho does that? 232 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:33,834 Hi, Grampa Simpson. 233 00:10:33,917 --> 00:10:35,250 (exclaiming) 234 00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:37,166 You're talking to me directly? 235 00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:39,750 Even my Alexa won't do that. 236 00:10:39,834 --> 00:10:41,417 ELDERLY FEMALE VOICE: Being with him 237 00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:45,250 has made me so tired. 238 00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:46,583 HOMER: Hey, Marge, 239 00:10:46,667 --> 00:10:48,041 you may have noticed 240 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:50,333 I took a shower earlier this week. 241 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:51,709 (makes kissing sounds) 242 00:10:51,792 --> 00:10:53,250 I can't. I can't. 243 00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:55,041 Not with Todd in the house. 244 00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:57,667 Oh, we've had kids in the house for ten years. 245 00:10:57,750 --> 00:11:00,417 Not that one. He's used to silence. 246 00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:02,625 -He'll hear us. -No, he won't. 247 00:11:02,709 --> 00:11:04,291 TODD (in distance): Yes, I will! 248 00:11:04,375 --> 00:11:06,792 Oof! Got to get rid of that kid. 249 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:10,375 Can it be? Oh, my goodness! 250 00:11:10,458 --> 00:11:13,917 The face of our Lord and Savior in a humble piece of toast? 251 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,291 Clearly, no human could have made this. 252 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,625 Huh? 253 00:11:17,709 --> 00:11:19,208 And the Lord said, 254 00:11:19,291 --> 00:11:21,834 "Take this and eat, for I am the toast of the town." 255 00:11:21,917 --> 00:11:24,500 -You drew that on. -No, no. 256 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:26,792 God drew it on. Look, he signed it. 257 00:11:26,875 --> 00:11:28,709 "Jebus." See? 258 00:11:28,792 --> 00:11:31,625 Why would God make toast that looked like Jesus? 259 00:11:31,709 --> 00:11:33,291 'Cause parents are always showing off pictures 260 00:11:33,375 --> 00:11:36,125 -of their kids? -(munching) 261 00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:38,083 (crying) So much innocent bread died 262 00:11:38,166 --> 00:11:39,542 for my sins. 263 00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:41,250 (sobbing) 264 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,667 So innocent. 265 00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:45,625 ♪ What is good ♪ 266 00:11:45,709 --> 00:11:47,583 ♪ And what is sin ♪ 267 00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:51,458 ♪ Bart wants to get rid ♪ 268 00:11:51,542 --> 00:11:53,500 ♪ Of him ♪ 269 00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:54,834 Yo, this is Todd. 270 00:11:54,917 --> 00:11:57,458 I have to share my room until he believes in God again. 271 00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,166 You don't believe in God? Well, that's crazy. 272 00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:02,917 Who else but an all-loving, omnipotent being 273 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,417 could create beautiful wedgies and purple nurples? 274 00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:07,333 Not so fast. 275 00:12:07,417 --> 00:12:09,458 What if I'm the only being in the universe, 276 00:12:09,542 --> 00:12:11,333 and you're all my mental projections? 277 00:12:11,417 --> 00:12:13,125 Project this! 278 00:12:13,208 --> 00:12:15,125 I must have wanted this to happen! 279 00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:18,333 So now that you see how bad kids turn out, 280 00:12:18,417 --> 00:12:19,709 you want to go home, right? 281 00:12:19,792 --> 00:12:21,917 Stop using us as examples! 282 00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:24,792 I believe your friends are all going to Hell. 283 00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,125 -Yeah! -Cool! 284 00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:27,458 -(Homer giggling) -(Marge moaning) 285 00:12:27,542 --> 00:12:29,291 (Homer and Marge moaning) 286 00:12:32,417 --> 00:12:33,792 TODD (in distance): I hear you! 287 00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:35,792 What doesn't that little twerp hear? 288 00:12:35,875 --> 00:12:38,291 TODD: I don't know, but I heard that. 289 00:12:38,709 --> 00:12:40,000 (dryer rattling) 290 00:12:40,083 --> 00:12:42,500 (quietly) Okay. He can't hear us now. 291 00:12:42,583 --> 00:12:43,625 TODD: Yes, I can. 292 00:12:43,709 --> 00:12:46,291 You're unbuttoning your shirt, Mr. Simpson. 293 00:12:47,709 --> 00:12:49,917 What does that paper say? 294 00:12:52,625 --> 00:12:54,500 LISA: Oh. Hi, Todd. 295 00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:55,959 Still seeking enlightenment? 296 00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:57,667 I told you, not now. 297 00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:01,583 Maybe I'll reconsider your stupid beliefs when I come back as a worm. 298 00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:04,125 In Buddhism, that's halfway to "yes"! 299 00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:06,291 Look, Todd, you don't have to believe. 300 00:13:06,375 --> 00:13:09,750 In church, just smile and nod, but be sleeping on the inside. 301 00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:11,375 That works at work, too. 302 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,291 But I really don't believe. 303 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:16,583 I'm sad because my mommy's gone and never coming back. 304 00:13:16,667 --> 00:13:18,208 You know how that feels? 305 00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:19,709 Oh, do I. 306 00:13:19,792 --> 00:13:21,625 Oh, no, don't relive it. Don't! 307 00:13:22,792 --> 00:13:25,583 You don't come home for dinner till 10:00 at night. 308 00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:27,333 You never cook anything worth eating. 309 00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:29,208 MONA: Well, who wants to cook for a failure? 310 00:13:29,291 --> 00:13:31,417 GRAMPA: Good God, woman, why did you marry me? 311 00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:34,000 MONA: To piss off my mother, and it worked! 312 00:13:34,083 --> 00:13:37,166 Tell the kid I love him, but I'm as bad at goodbyes 313 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,709 -as I am at picking husbands. -(Grampa groaning) 314 00:13:40,792 --> 00:13:43,834 (crying) My mom is gone. 315 00:13:43,917 --> 00:13:46,125 And so is my ice cream. 316 00:13:46,208 --> 00:13:49,583 And so is my hair! 317 00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:53,542 Moe, I got to get drunk. And fast. 318 00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:59,417 FLANDERS: I'll take one, too. 319 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:00,375 BOTH: What the... 320 00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:02,417 I'm losing everything. Just give me a drink! 321 00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:04,709 I'm sorry, Flanders. I can't pour you a drink. 322 00:14:04,792 --> 00:14:07,542 You're too good. It's just, it's not something I can do. 323 00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:09,834 Please. I'm begging you. 324 00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:11,875 Yeah, that's $24. 325 00:14:11,959 --> 00:14:16,875 ♪ Ned Flanders is drinking today ♪ 326 00:14:16,959 --> 00:14:20,625 ♪ Allelujah ♪ 327 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:25,959 ♪ His son Todd has gone astray ♪ 328 00:14:26,041 --> 00:14:30,250 ♪ Allelujah ♪ 329 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,333 ♪ Raise your mug and drink it down ♪ 330 00:14:34,417 --> 00:14:39,375 ♪ Allelujah ♪ 331 00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:41,750 BARITONE SINGER: ♪ In the worst bar ♪ 332 00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:44,250 ♪ In this town ♪ 333 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:49,083 ♪ Allelujah ♪ 334 00:14:50,417 --> 00:14:52,041 (slurring) You know, Homer, I always thought 335 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,792 you proved the existence of God. 336 00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:56,583 I mean, you fall off cliffs, and you're fit as a fiddle. 337 00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:58,166 Well, ain't that a diddle! 338 00:14:58,250 --> 00:14:59,959 (laughs) 339 00:15:00,041 --> 00:15:01,458 -Diddly, diddly. -(laughs) 340 00:15:01,542 --> 00:15:03,166 -Diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle. -(laughs) Diddly, diddly. 341 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:04,500 Whoa! 342 00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:07,041 (both laughing) 343 00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:08,959 So this is what it's like 344 00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:10,792 to look down on someone. 345 00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:12,041 (belches) 346 00:15:12,125 --> 00:15:13,959 You know what, Ned? There may... 347 00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:15,500 there may not be a heaven, 348 00:15:15,583 --> 00:15:18,333 but getting drunk with you ain't hell. 349 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,917 (both laugh) 350 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,333 (mumbles) Oh, you're great. 351 00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:25,333 This is the beginning of a beautiful... 352 00:15:25,417 --> 00:15:26,709 (grunting) 353 00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:28,792 You killed them! 354 00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:30,709 This is the worst Uber ride ever! 355 00:15:30,792 --> 00:15:32,333 You're getting four stars. 356 00:15:32,417 --> 00:15:38,041 No... 357 00:15:56,291 --> 00:15:58,750 GOD: Welcome to Heaven. 358 00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,250 Oh, Lord. It's just as beautiful as I pictured it. 359 00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:03,375 This is your version, Ned. 360 00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:05,458 Homer gets his, too. 361 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,500 So, not like I'm feeling I put in way too much work, 362 00:16:10,583 --> 00:16:12,417 but Homer got in, too? 363 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:15,208 GOD: Well, a couple of years ago, sloth became a virtue. 364 00:16:15,291 --> 00:16:17,208 I don't really understand it. 365 00:16:17,291 --> 00:16:19,083 You'd have to talk to my kid. 366 00:16:19,166 --> 00:16:21,208 He's 33 and still lives at home. 367 00:16:21,291 --> 00:16:23,542 I've been through some stuff, man. 368 00:16:23,709 --> 00:16:25,917 (gasps) Abe Lincoln! 369 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,458 Did you know the picture 370 00:16:27,542 --> 00:16:30,750 about my life is Spielberg's biggest movie? 371 00:16:30,834 --> 00:16:34,250 No! What about Jaws and E.T., and all the Jurassic... 372 00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:36,458 Well, how did I do in the awards? 373 00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:38,959 -You were beaten by Argo. -Argo? 374 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:43,041 That was the worst experience I ever had in a theater. 375 00:16:43,125 --> 00:16:44,875 GOD: You have other people to see. 376 00:16:44,959 --> 00:16:47,208 -Wear these passes. -Visitors? 377 00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:48,792 Hmm, that's odd. 378 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,792 It must mean that your bodies aren't dead yet. 379 00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:53,083 ♪ We need you now ♪ 380 00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:57,291 ♪ O God on high ♪ 381 00:16:57,375 --> 00:17:01,542 ♪ So stupid Flanders and Homer ♪ 382 00:17:01,625 --> 00:17:03,792 ♪ Don't die ♪ 383 00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:06,959 Ned Flanders, I swear to you I will use every ounce of skill 384 00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:09,125 in my body to bring you back to life. 385 00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:11,291 (sniffles) What about Homer? 386 00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:12,709 Mm, que será, será. 387 00:17:12,792 --> 00:17:14,083 (laughs) 388 00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:16,750 (sobbing) 389 00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:23,875 (sobbing) 390 00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:26,625 Oh, my. They're holding a vigil. 391 00:17:26,709 --> 00:17:29,542 Look how many, many lives Dad touched. 392 00:17:29,625 --> 00:17:31,125 That's Flanders' vigil. 393 00:17:31,208 --> 00:17:32,542 Dad's is over there. 394 00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:36,583 Vigils are a surprisingly large part of this job. 395 00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:38,625 Oh, yeah! So sad! 396 00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:41,792 Dad's an acquired taste, Lis, like Hawaiian pizza. 397 00:17:41,875 --> 00:17:45,250 Dad never judged a pizza by where it came from. 398 00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:48,125 (cries) He just ate it. 399 00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:51,709 BART: God, this is just you and me, so I'm gonna tell you a secret. 400 00:17:51,792 --> 00:17:54,333 I love my dad, so please don't take him. 401 00:17:54,417 --> 00:17:55,792 (Lisa cries) 402 00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,667 Bart, what are you praying for? 403 00:17:57,750 --> 00:17:59,458 New bike. 404 00:18:00,959 --> 00:18:03,375 Are you sure you don't want to pray for your dad? 405 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:04,875 I can't pray. 406 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,166 I don't think anyone's listening anymore. 407 00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:10,041 Oh, sweetie, prayer doesn't have to be to God. 408 00:18:10,125 --> 00:18:12,500 It can also just be an honest conversation 409 00:18:12,583 --> 00:18:14,458 we have with ourselves. 410 00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:16,834 Just do what your heart tells you. 411 00:18:17,375 --> 00:18:20,583 Oh, I'm not really sure what's happening, 412 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:23,834 but I'm really sad, and I need help. 413 00:18:23,917 --> 00:18:28,166 ♪ Rejoice, rejoice ♪ 414 00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:32,166 ♪ O Springfield town ♪ 415 00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:35,166 ♪ 'Cause what goes up ♪ 416 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:38,875 ♪ Must come down ♪ 417 00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:40,834 (buzzing) 418 00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:44,041 (ship horn blows) 419 00:18:44,125 --> 00:18:45,458 (cheering) 420 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,208 I'm winning every bet! 421 00:18:47,291 --> 00:18:49,625 And there's no stupid Fox halftime show. 422 00:18:49,709 --> 00:18:51,625 Could Heaven be any better? 423 00:18:51,709 --> 00:18:53,625 (munching) 424 00:18:53,709 --> 00:18:56,750 I agree. This is everything I could possibly dream of. 425 00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,583 (plays pretty chord) 426 00:18:58,667 --> 00:18:59,667 (gasps) 427 00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:02,083 Todd is praying. He's praying for me. 428 00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:04,333 (laughs) And it's working! 429 00:19:04,417 --> 00:19:06,208 I'm returning to my family! 430 00:19:06,291 --> 00:19:07,625 Bye, Homer. 431 00:19:10,458 --> 00:19:12,208 -Homer? -Mom? 432 00:19:12,291 --> 00:19:16,792 I never got a chance to say goodbye, but now I can. 433 00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:18,750 Remember, I'm not a hugger. 434 00:19:18,834 --> 00:19:20,208 Oh, right. Sorry. 435 00:19:20,291 --> 00:19:22,583 You never need to apologize to me. 436 00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:25,417 In my eyes, you're perfect. 437 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,667 Ah, we're in Heaven. 438 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,000 Come here, you. 439 00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:32,709 Oh, my God, this is all I ever wanted! 440 00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:34,834 Aw, damn it! 441 00:19:36,583 --> 00:19:39,583 Hallelujah! I'm alive and back in this big beautiful world. 442 00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:42,125 I could kiss the first thing I see. 443 00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:44,250 Ah. Promise is a promise. 444 00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:45,667 -Homie! -Dad! 445 00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:47,458 -Doughboy! -Yay! 446 00:19:47,542 --> 00:19:50,667 Daddy, you came back! I believe again! 447 00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:53,000 Two lives saved by prayer. 448 00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:54,542 And modern medicine. 449 00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:56,709 This is why I became a doctor. 450 00:19:56,792 --> 00:20:00,625 Because you both owe me $12,000. (laughs) 451 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,333 No, no, no, no. 452 00:20:04,417 --> 00:20:07,625 Nirvana is for closers, and you couldn't close the deal. 453 00:20:07,709 --> 00:20:09,625 -But-- but... -But-but-but-but-but nothing! 454 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,291 You couldn't even close Todd frickin' Flanders! 455 00:20:12,375 --> 00:20:14,125 That kid would follow a butterfly. 456 00:20:14,208 --> 00:20:16,041 Just give me one more chance. 457 00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:19,792 Do you think I got to be Buddha by being patient? 458 00:20:19,875 --> 00:20:22,875 Check this out. I got you Ralph Wiggum. 459 00:20:22,959 --> 00:20:26,208 Ralph Wiggum? What am I gonna do with Ralph Wiggum? 460 00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:28,458 Everything is nothing! 461 00:20:28,542 --> 00:20:31,959 Kid, you just blew my mind. 462 00:20:32,041 --> 00:20:34,083 (organ music playing) 463 00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:42,333 Goodnight, Roddy. 464 00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:47,542 Ha! 465 00:20:48,166 --> 00:20:50,291 ♪ Praise God from whom ♪ 466 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:54,125 ♪ All blessings flow ♪ 467 00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:57,291 ♪ Praise God it's almost ♪ 468 00:20:57,375 --> 00:21:00,959 ♪ Time to go ♪ 469 00:21:01,375 --> 00:21:03,125 ♪ Todd has found ♪ 470 00:21:03,208 --> 00:21:07,625 ♪ Just what he seeks ♪ 471 00:21:07,709 --> 00:21:09,959 ♪ New episode ♪ 472 00:21:10,041 --> 00:21:13,834 ♪ In two weeks ♪ 473 00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:30,250 -(murmuring) -Shh!