1 00:00:00,291 --> 00:00:01,333 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:01,583 --> 00:00:05,542 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 3 00:00:05,792 --> 00:00:07,166 Thanks for hosting. 4 00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:08,792 How was the sleepover? 5 00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:12,125 They each had a 5-Hour Energy drink and a jar of Nutella 6 00:00:12,208 --> 00:00:15,291 and then watched Russian dashcam videos all night. 7 00:00:15,375 --> 00:00:17,500 Vodit' znachit ubivat'! 8 00:00:17,583 --> 00:00:19,667 Listen, Marge. Every year, Kirk and I 9 00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:22,125 -rent a luxury villa in Costa Rica... -Oh! 10 00:00:22,208 --> 00:00:25,625 ...and invite a few select families to join us. (chuckles) 11 00:00:25,709 --> 00:00:27,583 Maybe you've heard about it? 12 00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:30,750 MARGE: I've always dreamed of being invited on this trip, 13 00:00:30,834 --> 00:00:33,083 and now it's about to happen. 14 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:36,250 Play it cool, Marge, like only you can. 15 00:00:36,333 --> 00:00:37,959 Let me see. 16 00:00:38,041 --> 00:00:39,458 Um... (smacking lips) 17 00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,959 Costa Rica... 18 00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:43,000 Nope, nope. 19 00:00:43,083 --> 00:00:45,125 (popping lips) 20 00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:47,500 Sorry, it's news to me. 21 00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:51,083 We were wondering, would your family be interested in joining us? 22 00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:52,959 When would you need an answer by? 23 00:00:53,041 --> 00:00:54,625 Oh, the sooner the better. 24 00:00:54,709 --> 00:00:56,959 (tires screeching) 25 00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:58,458 MARGE: Costa Rica! 26 00:00:58,542 --> 00:01:00,291 Costa Rica! 27 00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:02,583 Time to rock and... 28 00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:03,625 MARGE: Costa Rica! 29 00:01:03,709 --> 00:01:05,208 Whee... 30 00:01:05,291 --> 00:01:06,792 MARGE (chanting): Costa Rica! Costa Rica! 31 00:01:06,875 --> 00:01:07,792 Costa Rica... 32 00:01:07,875 --> 00:01:09,542 -(tires screech) -Costa Rica. 33 00:01:09,625 --> 00:01:11,125 Family meeting! 34 00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:13,208 Right now! 35 00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:16,125 (woozy groaning) 36 00:01:16,208 --> 00:01:17,250 Mwah! 37 00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:19,000 The Van Houtens invited us 38 00:01:19,083 --> 00:01:21,959 on their super-exclusive multi-family vacation 39 00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:23,667 to Costa Rica! 40 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,667 We'll stay in a luxury villa right on the beach... 41 00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:27,792 Whoo-hoo! 42 00:01:27,875 --> 00:01:29,875 ...near pristine rain forests, 43 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:33,375 home to five percent of the species on Earth... 44 00:01:33,458 --> 00:01:34,959 Biodiversity! 45 00:01:35,041 --> 00:01:38,709 ...in a land where it's normal for kids to carry machetes. 46 00:01:38,792 --> 00:01:40,166 Legalize it! 47 00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:42,875 And you can chew on the guidebook. 48 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:45,750 I've always dreamed of being the kind of family 49 00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:49,417 that other families would be willing to do things with. 50 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,083 BART AND LISA (chanting): Costa Rica! 51 00:01:51,166 --> 00:01:53,166 -Costa Rica! -Airport food court! 52 00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:55,583 -Airport food court! -Costa Rica! 53 00:01:58,542 --> 00:01:59,792 Whoa. 54 00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:04,542 Now, that's a tympanic membrane that just won't quit. 55 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,125 HOMER: Whoa. This trip's gonna cost how much? 56 00:02:08,208 --> 00:02:09,542 MARGE: I know it's expensive, 57 00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:12,750 but we spend our whole lives worrying about money. 58 00:02:12,834 --> 00:02:14,917 That's because we don't have that much. 59 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,083 We have a mortgage, a reverse mortgage. 60 00:02:17,166 --> 00:02:19,375 I think the house is owned by the car. 61 00:02:19,458 --> 00:02:22,250 Life is about experiences. 62 00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:25,125 Look at this photo the Hibberts posted from last year's trip. 63 00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:27,125 Now look at my feed. 64 00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:28,709 Yeah. 65 00:02:28,792 --> 00:02:29,959 Oh, boy. 66 00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:33,875 I want a photo of you and me by that waterfall. 67 00:02:33,959 --> 00:02:37,125 The hope of going on this trip is the only reason 68 00:02:37,208 --> 00:02:40,083 I've allowed Bart to stay friends with Milhouse. 69 00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:43,083 Now I understand everything. 70 00:02:43,166 --> 00:02:45,083 MARGE: Homie, I know it's a stretch, 71 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,500 but if Kirk and Luann can afford it... 72 00:02:47,583 --> 00:02:49,959 Yeah. He can't earn that much. 73 00:02:50,041 --> 00:02:54,166 His job is moving the Topless Maids van so they don't get parking tickets. 74 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:58,000 Let's have one damn fling and hope everything will be okay. 75 00:02:58,083 --> 00:03:00,375 You know what? You are right. 76 00:03:00,458 --> 00:03:03,375 I am sick of being the responsible one in this marriage. 77 00:03:03,458 --> 00:03:04,834 Let's live life. 78 00:03:04,917 --> 00:03:06,917 Remember, we can never be poor 79 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,333 as long as we have each other. 80 00:03:09,417 --> 00:03:10,417 (both sigh) 81 00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:13,166 (groaning) Oh... yes, we can. 82 00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:14,542 (groaning) 83 00:03:17,333 --> 00:03:20,667 You know, what if we stayed home and just did puzzles of Costa Rica? 84 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:24,375 I mean, this trip sounds really expensive. 85 00:03:24,458 --> 00:03:26,917 -No, not really. -What? No! 86 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,875 You just let the grown-ups worry about grown-up things, okay? 87 00:03:30,959 --> 00:03:33,250 (chuckles) Your mom and dad 88 00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:36,667 have our financial future all under control. 89 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:38,959 (tires squeal) 90 00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:40,291 Ooh! Free ticket! 91 00:03:40,375 --> 00:03:42,125 The rich get richer! 92 00:03:42,208 --> 00:03:44,125 (groans) 93 00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:47,417 Ah, the multi-family vacation. 94 00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,041 Let's see who we've got. 95 00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:51,041 -The Van Houtens, of course. The Hibberts. -(exclaims) 96 00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:53,750 Superintendent Chalmers and his daughter. 97 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,792 I can't believe my father is tearing us apart 98 00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,750 for a whole week. 99 00:03:57,834 --> 00:03:59,458 Sweetie, it's a very long flight. 100 00:03:59,542 --> 00:04:01,333 Why don't you save your phone battery. 101 00:04:01,417 --> 00:04:04,000 All you care about is batteries! 102 00:04:04,083 --> 00:04:05,917 You've never been in love. 103 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,500 Your mother and I had a very... 104 00:04:07,583 --> 00:04:09,542 (sighs) Never mind. 105 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:11,125 Yep, not one person here 106 00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:14,542 I'd mind spending an extended period of time with. 107 00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:17,750 I didn't have time to wax, so I'll do it on the plane. 108 00:04:17,834 --> 00:04:19,166 (Homer gasps) 109 00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:21,709 What the hell is that doing here? 110 00:04:21,792 --> 00:04:24,333 Well, Lou the cop and his sister were gonna go, 111 00:04:24,417 --> 00:04:28,750 but a billboard fell on him and her wind chime store burned down. 112 00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:31,542 So I suggested Patty and her new girlfriend. 113 00:04:31,625 --> 00:04:33,333 You deliberately hid this from me 114 00:04:33,417 --> 00:04:35,542 until it was too late to back out. 115 00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:37,458 -Yes. -Don't try to deny it. 116 00:04:37,542 --> 00:04:39,375 (Patty and Evelyn moan) 117 00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:42,291 Patty's new relationship really has to work out, 118 00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:45,166 because the dating apps won't take her anymore. 119 00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:48,166 All I ask is that you're nice to them. 120 00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:51,083 Evelyn, this is my husband Homer. 121 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,959 A very polite hello to you, madam. 122 00:04:53,041 --> 00:04:55,041 Well, well, Homer Simpson. 123 00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:57,375 I've heard so much about you. 124 00:04:57,458 --> 00:04:59,417 Surely you have, but in my defense, 125 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,834 urinating on a privately owned merry-go-round 126 00:05:01,917 --> 00:05:04,500 is not public urination. 127 00:05:04,875 --> 00:05:06,000 Hmm. 128 00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:11,458 -(all gasp) -Whoa! 129 00:05:14,208 --> 00:05:17,083 MARGE (gasps): Ooh. 130 00:05:20,792 --> 00:05:23,959 Okay, who wants Miguelitos? 131 00:05:24,041 --> 00:05:25,417 Now, I should warn the newbies-- 132 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:28,500 these will seem very authentic to you. 133 00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:31,834 Mmm. This stuff is pura vida in a glass. 134 00:05:31,917 --> 00:05:33,250 What's pura vida? 135 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,542 (chuckling) 136 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,542 Oh... (continues chuckling) 137 00:05:36,625 --> 00:05:38,750 Uh, it means "pure life." 138 00:05:38,834 --> 00:05:40,750 Kind of a state of mind down here. 139 00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:42,041 Very chill. 140 00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:46,583 Like what you think of as chill but, like, a million times chiller. 141 00:05:46,667 --> 00:05:49,250 Homie, I think I'm having an experience. 142 00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:53,709 Every time a fruit meets a booze, a magic vacation is born. 143 00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:01,041 -(cash register dings) -(Lisa groans) 144 00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:05,792 Mm. 145 00:06:05,875 --> 00:06:08,000 (groaning) Oh... 146 00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:10,667 Well, you can try. 147 00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:12,583 (laughter) 148 00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:14,709 Oh, boy, I didn't know that. 149 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,875 -Hmm? -Hmm? 150 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,041 (laughter) 151 00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:20,041 So true. 152 00:06:20,125 --> 00:06:22,083 -EVELYN: Hmm... -HOMER: Hmm. 153 00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:25,250 Rodrigo, Rodrigo, mi hermano, 154 00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:27,250 put the bill on this. (chuckles) 155 00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:30,750 Nothing is less pura vida than check-splitting. 156 00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:33,709 On this trip I pay for everything up front-- 157 00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:38,083 food, the villa rental, cloud forest murder mystery-- 158 00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:40,417 and I keep track of 'em right here. 159 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,291 Then we settle up at the end. 160 00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:44,375 ANNOUNCER: Smokey Blandings is putting on 161 00:06:44,458 --> 00:06:47,291 a cornhole clinic tonight. 162 00:06:47,375 --> 00:06:49,792 ANNOUNCER 2: And this is where fatigue really sets in, Jim. 163 00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:51,834 When you're tossing that fourth beanbag, 164 00:06:51,917 --> 00:06:53,959 your muscles are screaming, son. 165 00:06:54,041 --> 00:06:54,917 (audience cheering) 166 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,750 -Booyah! -Good heavenly days! 167 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,542 Hmm? 168 00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:01,750 You also follow the pro cornhole tour? 169 00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:04,166 Sure do. I used to play on my daddy's farm. 170 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:06,458 We'd toss bags all day, 171 00:07:06,542 --> 00:07:09,041 even when it was hotter than a two-dollar pistol. 172 00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:10,542 Ooh, ooh. 173 00:07:10,625 --> 00:07:12,458 That is hot. 174 00:07:12,542 --> 00:07:15,208 Do you always speak in such colorful Southern-isms? 175 00:07:15,291 --> 00:07:16,500 (laughs) 176 00:07:16,583 --> 00:07:19,458 Does a mama possum skip church on Sundays? 177 00:07:19,542 --> 00:07:21,000 Hmm. 178 00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:23,417 -I bet she does. -(church bells toll) 179 00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,166 (laughs) 180 00:07:25,250 --> 00:07:26,625 Homer, put your phone away. 181 00:07:26,709 --> 00:07:28,542 Evelyn, please. 182 00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:30,792 (both chuckle) 183 00:07:32,208 --> 00:07:35,083 Evelyn, you don't want to go shopping with us? 184 00:07:35,166 --> 00:07:37,250 It's a vacation, sugar bear. 185 00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:40,250 We should be lying on the beach like a lost flip-flop. 186 00:07:40,583 --> 00:07:42,125 (chuckles) 187 00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:45,500 But, darling, there's nothing to do at the beach except drink. 188 00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:49,208 You know what? Why don't you two take in the sights 189 00:07:49,291 --> 00:07:52,083 while I chaperone your Southern señorita to the beach? 190 00:07:52,166 --> 00:07:55,875 Well, my, my, what an elegant solution. 191 00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:58,291 Well, I guess this way everyone's happy. 192 00:07:58,375 --> 00:07:59,959 (Marge and Patty grumble) 193 00:08:02,125 --> 00:08:03,625 (Evelyn chuckles) 194 00:08:06,041 --> 00:08:10,166 Tonight's dinner is amazing, folks, line-caught mahi mahi. 195 00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:13,792 The local fishermen pass the lines down from father to son, 196 00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:15,834 so, boy, you can taste the heritage. 197 00:08:15,917 --> 00:08:16,834 (monkeys screeching) 198 00:08:16,917 --> 00:08:18,333 KIRK: ¡Dios mío! 199 00:08:18,417 --> 00:08:19,792 Eh, what? 200 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,417 Oh. Hey, guys. 201 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:24,333 We met these awesome monkeys on the beach, 202 00:08:24,417 --> 00:08:28,542 and we said they could crash here in exchange for them being hilarious. 203 00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:34,875 (laughs) Sweetie, you did not tell me 204 00:08:34,959 --> 00:08:37,333 your brother-in-law was such a fun guy. 205 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:40,208 You two should be so happy. 206 00:08:40,291 --> 00:08:44,959 Your husband and your girlfriend are amigos! 207 00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,625 (Marge and Patty grumble) 208 00:08:46,709 --> 00:08:48,709 (gasps) Who's that with you, Jimbo? 209 00:08:48,792 --> 00:08:50,542 Is that Stacy? 210 00:08:50,625 --> 00:08:52,041 Oh, my God. 211 00:08:52,125 --> 00:08:54,500 Jimbo is cheating on me! 212 00:08:54,583 --> 00:08:56,041 Wha... 213 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,542 Okay, makeup kit, selfie stick. 214 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:05,041 (gasps) Oh, God, where's the selfie stick charger? 215 00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:06,375 Honey, relax. 216 00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:09,041 The waterfall picture's going to be fine. 217 00:09:09,125 --> 00:09:11,834 Fine? If this photo is just "fine," 218 00:09:11,917 --> 00:09:13,208 we're getting a divorce. 219 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,625 -(whimpers) -Okay, okay, that crossed the line, 220 00:09:15,709 --> 00:09:18,125 but this is a once-in-a-lifetime trip 221 00:09:18,208 --> 00:09:21,458 and our only shot at a perfect moment. 222 00:09:21,542 --> 00:09:25,417 I get it-- you're mad about my awesome monkey party. 223 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,166 But you wanted me to be nice to Patty's girlfriend, 224 00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,125 and guess what-- she's cool. 225 00:09:30,208 --> 00:09:32,709 Just what you need-- another drinking buddy. 226 00:09:33,291 --> 00:09:36,208 Just promise me you'll behave for the rest of the trip. 227 00:09:36,291 --> 00:09:38,834 Okay, okay. I will stay far away 228 00:09:38,917 --> 00:09:40,792 from Patty's fun Southern girlfriend. 229 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:44,625 Or as she would say, "further away than a fat-cheeked boy 230 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,917 from a porch full of grannies." 231 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,333 -(grannies chattering) -(giggles) 232 00:09:48,417 --> 00:09:50,625 Run, fat boy, run! 233 00:09:50,709 --> 00:09:52,458 (grunting) 234 00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:55,792 (panting) 235 00:09:57,208 --> 00:09:58,458 Why are you freaking out? 236 00:09:58,542 --> 00:10:01,625 Shouldn't you be in the jungle kissing a boa constrictor or something? 237 00:10:01,709 --> 00:10:04,750 This trip is so expensive, and Mom and Dad don't care, 238 00:10:04,834 --> 00:10:06,625 so I'm practicing sleeping in a car 239 00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:09,792 for when we lose the house and have to sleep in our car! 240 00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:12,458 Well, Milhouse's dad writes down how much money everyone owes 241 00:10:12,542 --> 00:10:14,750 in that book, so all we have to do is snag it, 242 00:10:14,917 --> 00:10:16,625 then show Mom and Dad the numbers. 243 00:10:16,709 --> 00:10:20,250 Yes! That'll snap 'em out of their financial insanity. 244 00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:23,667 You up for a little breaking and entering? 245 00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:26,208 Break into a grown-up's bedroom? 246 00:10:26,291 --> 00:10:28,291 Whoa, big move. 247 00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:31,208 Okay, we'll do it when everyone's on the hike. 248 00:10:31,291 --> 00:10:33,291 But how do we get rid of Milhouse? 249 00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:36,792 Not a problem. Milhouse already ditched me for Dr. Hibbert's kid. 250 00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:38,834 His "vacation friend." 251 00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:42,208 Hey, JJ, do you still like Legos? 252 00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:44,667 -Uh... not really. -Me neither. 253 00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:47,500 Lego sucks! (grunts) 254 00:10:47,583 --> 00:10:51,500 Hey, JJ, why don't we put on a play for the grown-ups tonight? 255 00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:55,125 Ooh, sweetie, look, a "Flowers of Costa Rica" 256 00:10:55,208 --> 00:10:59,083 scavenger hunt. I wonder how many we can find together. 257 00:10:59,166 --> 00:11:01,041 Just braid, Daddy! 258 00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:03,750 I need to look super hot to win back Jimbo's heart. 259 00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:05,917 (sighs) Darling, you're experiencing 260 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,542 so many emotions for the first time. 261 00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:10,417 And that's very healthy, but... 262 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:13,125 He strayed because of you! 263 00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:17,959 Hey, JJ, one time my friend got a temporary tattoo 264 00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:20,458 but told his dad it was real. 265 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:23,250 Okay, let's steal that ledger. 266 00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:24,500 What's that thing? 267 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:26,667 Grappling hook made of Patty's underwire bra 268 00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,500 and Dad's bathing suit drawstring. 269 00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:29,917 Will it reach? 270 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,041 (grunts) 271 00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:36,750 (clicks) 272 00:11:39,458 --> 00:11:43,250 This is so weird, being in another grown-up's bedroom. 273 00:11:44,125 --> 00:11:47,583 Boy, you're telling me. He doesn't even work out. 274 00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:51,417 Uh, I don't want to learn anything else about this family. 275 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:52,750 It's too late. 276 00:11:52,834 --> 00:11:54,917 (both shuddering) 277 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,333 All right, bottled water break. 278 00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,083 I can drink from the stream. 279 00:12:00,166 --> 00:12:04,166 After all these years, my gut biome is simpatico 280 00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:06,083 with the local bacteria. 281 00:12:08,667 --> 00:12:12,250 Ugh! Oh, God, there's something moving inside me! 282 00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:14,458 Oh, look out! Oh, look out! 283 00:12:14,542 --> 00:12:16,917 Look out, I said look out! Look out! 284 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:21,417 Oh, God, no simpatico! No simpatico! 285 00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:24,583 Hey, Homer. You want a hit off this? 286 00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:28,500 Oh, Evelyn. You and I both love secret day drinking, 287 00:12:28,583 --> 00:12:32,333 but I promised Marge I'd have a bad time the rest of this vacation. 288 00:12:32,417 --> 00:12:35,583 I hear exactly what you're saying. 289 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:39,333 Mm-hmm? Mmm. 290 00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:44,333 -(gasps) -Did you find the ledger? 291 00:12:44,417 --> 00:12:47,542 No, but take a look at this. 292 00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:49,583 These are stone spheres 293 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:53,458 made by the extinct Diquis people of Costa Rica. 294 00:12:53,542 --> 00:12:57,083 No one knows what they were for, but they're priceless artifacts. 295 00:12:57,166 --> 00:13:00,458 So what is Milhouse's loser dad doing with them? 296 00:13:00,542 --> 00:13:02,291 -(lock clicks) -(both gasp) 297 00:13:02,375 --> 00:13:04,375 (Kirk groans) 298 00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:06,709 Oh, I'm sorry, Kirk's tum-tum. 299 00:13:06,792 --> 00:13:08,166 (groans) 300 00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:09,542 Daddy drank some ick-ick. 301 00:13:09,625 --> 00:13:11,417 (Kirk groans) 302 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,041 Oh, the rumblies are coming. 303 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,834 The rumblies are coming! 304 00:13:14,917 --> 00:13:17,333 -They're here! -(Bart grunts) 305 00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:19,083 (Kirk groans) 306 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,417 If we get this photo right, 307 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:25,333 this multi-family vacation will be worth every penny. 308 00:13:25,417 --> 00:13:26,667 (Homer giggles) 309 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:29,458 You're so cute when you're super controlling. 310 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:30,750 -(Marge sniffs) -(phone camera clicks) 311 00:13:30,834 --> 00:13:32,125 You've been drinking. 312 00:13:32,208 --> 00:13:34,125 (slurring) Well, maybe Evelyn added 313 00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:37,208 a little Southern charm to my water. 314 00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:40,291 That woman! She brings out the worst in you! 315 00:13:40,375 --> 00:13:41,750 Look! 316 00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:44,583 MARGE: Oh, my God. It's perfect. 317 00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:46,500 You look good, and I look better. 318 00:13:46,583 --> 00:13:48,625 Post it. Post it. 319 00:13:48,709 --> 00:13:50,208 EVELYN: Homer! 320 00:13:50,291 --> 00:13:54,125 Buddy, hi. Watch me do a Savannah Polecat Flip. 321 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,083 (whoops, grunts) 322 00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:59,000 No! 323 00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:01,667 Come back, camera fish! 324 00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:03,917 (grunting) Oh! 325 00:14:04,917 --> 00:14:06,583 (grunts) 326 00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:08,542 (Homer groaning frantically) 327 00:14:08,625 --> 00:14:10,083 (Patty growls) 328 00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:16,542 All I wanted was for my friends to be jealous of me. 329 00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:18,166 I hope you're happy 330 00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:21,166 now that that bald gorilla has dragged my girlfriend down 331 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,208 to his pathetic level. 332 00:14:23,291 --> 00:14:25,500 (snoring) 333 00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:28,458 Patricia Maleficent Bouvier, 334 00:14:28,542 --> 00:14:31,542 I've put up with you criticizing my husband for years, 335 00:14:31,625 --> 00:14:34,291 and I've had it. Evelyn got Homer drunk. 336 00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:36,333 Evelyn ruined my dream photo. 337 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,208 She's the bad influence. 338 00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:40,041 That's ridiculous. 339 00:14:40,125 --> 00:14:42,792 She may be Southern, she may be a woman, 340 00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:45,458 but you're dating a Homer. 341 00:14:45,542 --> 00:14:48,458 (Evelyn and Homer snoring) 342 00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:50,250 Oh, no. 343 00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:54,291 Mom, look what I found in the Van Houtens' room! 344 00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:58,333 They are smuggling these artifacts home to sell! 345 00:14:58,417 --> 00:14:59,667 (all gasping) 346 00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:01,333 That's how they can afford this vacation. 347 00:15:01,417 --> 00:15:02,834 But we can't. 348 00:15:02,917 --> 00:15:04,834 And we're gonna have to live in our car, 349 00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:07,041 and the seats in our car are sticky, 350 00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:09,083 even though they're cloth! 351 00:15:09,166 --> 00:15:12,166 (sobbing) You're... you're so gross. 352 00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:14,208 It's so gross. 353 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,041 Salt... and pepper. 354 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,083 These souvenirs were supposed to be 355 00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:22,667 our end-of-multi-family-vacation gift to you all. 356 00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,792 Way to spoil the surprise. 357 00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,583 Not very pura vida. 358 00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:29,959 Not very pura vida at all. 359 00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:31,291 (Lisa and Marge grunt) 360 00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:33,583 Stacy and I are finished. 361 00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:35,917 Shauna Chalmers, will you marry me? 362 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,709 Oh, my God! 363 00:15:37,792 --> 00:15:39,250 Jimbo proposed! 364 00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:42,625 We are getting freaking married! 365 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,166 (gasps) 366 00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:50,959 Oh, you guys are slinking off early. 367 00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:54,709 Don't you want to come ziplining and ruin the trip some more? 368 00:15:54,792 --> 00:15:56,375 Well, I would... 369 00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:59,667 like to agree with my wife that it's better we leave. 370 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,291 I'll give you the final bill now so we can settle up. 371 00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:04,875 No discount for leaving early either. (laughs) 372 00:16:04,959 --> 00:16:09,333 I may be mucho pura vida, but, uh, I'm not a sucker. 373 00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:12,542 Lisa was right. 374 00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:14,709 We really couldn't afford this trip. 375 00:16:17,291 --> 00:16:18,625 (breathing loudly) 376 00:16:18,709 --> 00:16:20,000 (whoops) 377 00:16:20,083 --> 00:16:21,500 Ooh, that's a big number. 378 00:16:21,583 --> 00:16:23,917 (guttural panting) 379 00:16:31,583 --> 00:16:32,458 (groans) 380 00:16:32,542 --> 00:16:34,709 How's Patty? I haven't seen her. 381 00:16:34,792 --> 00:16:37,959 I don't know what happened. She... broke up with me. 382 00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:40,917 Yeesh. 383 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,333 I know you feel bad, Mom, 384 00:16:42,417 --> 00:16:44,583 but the lady is a Homer. 385 00:16:47,166 --> 00:16:49,959 BOTH: Mm. 386 00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:52,125 Oh, all that money, 387 00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:54,041 and we didn't even get the picture. 388 00:16:54,125 --> 00:16:56,125 (gasps) Look at this. 389 00:16:56,208 --> 00:16:58,250 Mr. Van Houten even charged us 390 00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,750 for those salt and pepper shakers. 391 00:17:00,834 --> 00:17:02,500 He said those were a gift. 392 00:17:02,583 --> 00:17:04,500 And he didn't even give them to us. 393 00:17:04,583 --> 00:17:07,125 Then we're not leaving without them. 394 00:17:07,208 --> 00:17:08,375 -(Homer grunts) -(Bart yells) 395 00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:09,458 (thud) 396 00:17:14,709 --> 00:17:16,917 (all gasping) 397 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,458 Oh, so that explains it. 398 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,625 HOMER: Gotcha. 399 00:17:26,083 --> 00:17:29,083 Can't you let us even zipline in peace? 400 00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:31,917 Look what we found hidden in your bedroom. 401 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,875 This is a portrait of explorer Kirkedemious Van Houten, 402 00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:39,458 who settled this area for a Dutch cracker-trading company, 403 00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:44,250 and he built this house, which your family still owns. 404 00:17:44,333 --> 00:17:46,709 You're charging us thousands of dollars in rent 405 00:17:46,792 --> 00:17:48,959 for a house you get for free. 406 00:17:49,041 --> 00:17:50,792 The Van Houtens are cheating all of us, 407 00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:54,083 so we pay for their vacation. 408 00:17:54,166 --> 00:17:56,542 -I'm stunned. -I'm shocked. 409 00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:57,875 I'm Shauna. 410 00:17:57,959 --> 00:18:01,083 I'm just as surprised as any of you. 411 00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:05,208 Oh, what? Come on! This scam was her idea. 412 00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:08,125 And this year she even charged you more 413 00:18:08,208 --> 00:18:10,458 so we could pay for our "intimacy coach." 414 00:18:10,542 --> 00:18:13,375 I mean, how many things can you do with a feather? 415 00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:14,709 Ooh. 416 00:18:14,792 --> 00:18:16,417 Oh, easy, guys, easy. 417 00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:19,875 Everyone try to remain pura vida. Huh? 418 00:18:19,959 --> 00:18:22,125 I'm gonna pura vida my foot in your ass 419 00:18:22,208 --> 00:18:24,000 if you don't give me back my money. 420 00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:26,834 He's zipping away! 421 00:18:26,917 --> 00:18:29,834 Stop him before he endorses those checks! 422 00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:35,667 So, you and Evelyn broke up? I thought you really liked her. 423 00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:39,917 I did, but now all I see is Homer, thanks to you. 424 00:18:40,041 --> 00:18:42,083 Patty! Come back! 425 00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:46,000 I can't! Because I'm on a zipline... 426 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,542 Ooh. (grunts) 427 00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:51,959 Patty, I'm sorry I upset you, but Evelyn is your Homer, 428 00:18:52,041 --> 00:18:55,166 and no one else will ever understand why you love her, 429 00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:56,500 except for you. 430 00:18:56,583 --> 00:18:59,250 But there's one huge difference between them. 431 00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:01,041 (grunts) 432 00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:04,709 (Marge grunting) 433 00:19:04,792 --> 00:19:05,959 I'm listening. 434 00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:07,792 Evelyn loves you, 435 00:19:07,875 --> 00:19:11,542 and Homer hates you more than anything in the world. 436 00:19:11,625 --> 00:19:13,333 Even more than he hates Selma? 437 00:19:13,417 --> 00:19:15,083 He feels sorry for Selma, 438 00:19:15,166 --> 00:19:17,291 because she has to live with you. 439 00:19:17,375 --> 00:19:19,125 Hold on, Evelyn! 440 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:21,083 I'm coming! 441 00:19:22,959 --> 00:19:24,458 Go ahead, take your money. 442 00:19:24,542 --> 00:19:26,750 Take away a man's only source of income. 443 00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,542 No, it's real classy. 444 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:31,333 We just got a free vacation. 445 00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:33,583 LISA, MARGE AND BART: Hooray! 446 00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:36,375 Now let's charter a helicopter back to the waterfall 447 00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:39,125 to get your mom's precious picture. 448 00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:40,667 (groans) 449 00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:43,542 No, no, no. It's okay. 450 00:19:43,625 --> 00:19:46,166 Vacations aren't about the perfect photo. 451 00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:50,291 It's about being in the moment and living your... vida. 452 00:19:50,375 --> 00:19:51,875 Mwah! 453 00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:53,250 (both exclaiming happily) 454 00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:56,583 They're as cute as two bugs in a rug. 455 00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:59,250 Aww. 456 00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:08,959 (laughs) 457 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,750 Honey, I just want you to know 458 00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:12,834 that Jimbo Jones is a fine young man, 459 00:20:12,917 --> 00:20:15,625 and I'm very happy for you two to be married. 460 00:20:15,709 --> 00:20:17,542 -Truly. -Yeah... 461 00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:21,083 Jimbo's parents freaked out and canceled the wedding. 462 00:20:21,166 --> 00:20:24,041 Whatever. I'm glad somebody's setting limits. 463 00:20:24,125 --> 00:20:26,792 You know, pumpkin, I'm doing my best. Do you understand that? 464 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:29,583 That as a single father, it's not always so easy 465 00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:32,458 to balance guidance with respect for your... 466 00:20:32,542 --> 00:20:35,917 Yeah... 467 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,208 ah... 468 00:20:37,291 --> 00:20:40,417 CHALMERS: Yeah, now we're connecting, huh? 469 00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:50,625 Why can't we just leave? 470 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:53,458 'Cause we have to clean up before Uncle Pete gets here, 471 00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:55,667 or we'll lose our week next year. 472 00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:58,208 -(monkeys hooting) -(screams) 473 00:21:01,208 --> 00:21:04,250 Hey, hey, this stuff is expensive! 474 00:21:04,333 --> 00:21:06,166 ¿Comprende? (grunts) 475 00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:12,166 -Uh-oh. Uh-oh. -(hooting) 476 00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:13,375 No, amigos, no, no. 477 00:21:13,458 --> 00:21:14,375 ¡No, pura vida! 478 00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:15,458 ¡Pura vida! 479 00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:18,500 Oh, no! ¡No bueno! Aah! 480 00:21:28,166 --> 00:21:29,750 -(murmuring) -Shh!