1
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辛普森家庭

2
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（生日快樂，藍尼）

3
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老天，藍尼一定會很吃驚

4
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我這還有完美的賀卡

5
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（生日快樂，夥伴）

6
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,432
越過巔峰勝過沒有巔峰，太讚了

7
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,767
（越過巔峰勝過沒有巔峰）

8
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有出錢就能簽名了

9
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簽得好

10
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:25,316
沒寫祝你好運，我喜歡

11
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,860
我想過要不要寫＂獻上問候＂

12
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:28,820
但藍尼知道我的感覺

13
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:35,952
好，大家安靜，藍尼隨時會來

14
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（派對基金）

15
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,041
驚…喜

16
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我以為這是輸血室，但沒看到寶寶

17
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這是我們為藍尼準備的驚喜派對

18
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每個人出五塊錢，用來買卡片跟蛋糕

19
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:56,765
還請了阿布拉卡達布拉魔術師來表演

20
00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,060
什麼？　　　　該死

21
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那樣的話，我想我也該簽名

22
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獻上問候，蒙哥馬利伯恩斯

23
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藍尼，生日快樂

24
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（獻上問候，蒙哥馬利伯恩斯）

25
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這真是史上最棒的生日了

26
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最棒的是伯恩斯先生

27
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還在我的生日卡上簽名

28
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敬所有出錢的人

29
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出錢…

30
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哪種人會在生日卡上簽名卻不出錢？

31
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在卡片上簽名就該出錢

32
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這是寫卡片的規則

33
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他的簽名佔了多大的面積？

34
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跟連鎖店的招牌一樣大

35
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不出錢還簽名真的太討厭了

36
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這是核電廠發生過最糟的事了

37
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小荷荷，別這樣

38
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別讓一個簽名把你逼瘋

39
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你說得對，親愛的，我會釋懷的

40
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真不知道沒有你我該怎麼辦

41
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（原子）

42
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生日快樂，藍尼

43
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不…

44
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小荷荷，怎麼了？

45
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,020
我剛剛做了超可怕的惡夢

46
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我在夢裡聽從你的建議

47
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好…

48
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,277
好，荷馬，你行的

49
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你能撥亂反正

50
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,956
伯恩斯先生，在生日卡上簽名的人

51
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都有出錢，只有你沒出

52
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你還欠大家五塊錢

53
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你竟敢…

54
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,214
擔心這件小事

55
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希望你沒為了這個小誤會失眠

56
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,721
來，給你一隻綁線蟋蟀祝你好運

57
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你這個怪物，你竟然佔老頭子便宜

58
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,353
你在說什麼？

59
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,938
伯恩斯先生正在大量服藥

60
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整天都要攝取厚皮劑

61
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那種藥物的副作用

62
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讓他無法自制地當個正人君子

63
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而你卻利用這一點

64
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我要把你降職到這裡最糟的職位

65
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去監督核電廠的實習生

66
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聽好了，千禧世代，我是荷馬辛普森

67
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你們的新主管

68
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別再玩Ｓｎａｐｃｈａｔ，要塞英雄

69
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,139
或是用行動支付付款了

70
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其實我們是在重製核電廠的啟動程序

71
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以模擬高需求能源提取的作用

72
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污染對上輻射…你有什麼想法？

73
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提到反應率，有哪些變數要參考？

74
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這傢伙也笨得太誇張了吧

75
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,337
我沒聽錯嗎？

76
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:18,508
你們真的想讓荷馬辛普森出醜？

77
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這傢伙是神

78
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,095
就算他犯錯，那也是個超讚的錯

79
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:25,848
他可是７Ｇ區的麥可喬丹

80
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,018
你們這些小鬼連他的洗澡水都不配喝

81
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,063
你在幫我說話嗎？你是誰？

82
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麥克偉格曼，核電廠實習生

83
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,858
也是你的頭號粉絲

84
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:39,654
你的英雄的手機套裡有個夾心餅乾

85
00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:42,865
（荷馬）

86
00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:46,160
你在說笑嗎？

87
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,996
（辛普森）

88
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:50,957
誰也不准不尊重荷馬辛普森

89
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,585
用站立式書桌還敢不尊重人啊，瑞克

90
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,005
這樣根本不能健身，不准用

91
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,506
直接喝瓶裝奶精的人

92
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:01,175
給我放尊重點，葛瑞倩

93
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,219
你渾身都是杏仁烈酒味，怪胎

94
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還有班傑明，麥可布雷的演唱會上

95
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才沒有人會被踩

96
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撤銷訴訟吧，你這是在濫用資源

97
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這傢伙很厲害，你們給我放尊重點

98
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,693
好吧…抱歉，辛普森先生

99
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我很期待向你學習，辛普森先生

100
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同事通常只會吼我，不會為我吼人

101
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你怎麼知道我是誰？

102
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,703
太謙遜了，你好了不起

103
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全因為這個啊

104
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只要遇到麻煩，你向來都是核心人物

105
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第六點是所有馬匹禿頭的原因

106
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對，我偷偷仰慕你好久了

107
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現在終於見到你本人了

108
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真不敢相信我會這麼說，但我得問…

109
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:50,933
你願意成為我的心靈導師嗎？

110
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:58,900
如果你願意，就吃掉半條能量棒

111
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,944
我把它包得很好，沒沾到口袋棉絮

112
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麥克偉格曼，我願意當你的心靈導師

113
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（康斯汀頓）

114
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哪一條領帶適合…

115
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:21,631
當心靈導師的第一天戴？

116
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,466
紫色條紋還是這一條？

117
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:24,801
（心靈導師）

118
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,844
你噴了我的香水嗎？

119
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,137
我喜歡你噴這個香水

120
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,305
他也會喜歡我噴這個香水的

121
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爸，你又不常…我要怎麼說呢？

122
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,186
這麼重視你的工作

123
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,105
現在我當了心靈導師

124
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一切都不一樣了

125
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:43,403
第一次有人倚賴我指引人生方向

126
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我要指導的這傢伙很酷

127
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他聽別人講話時會聽到嘴巴開開

128
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他的推特帳號被好多名人封鎖

129
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:55,998
而且他覺得我是核電廠裡

130
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最有價值的員工

131
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,128
我懂了，他超蠢

132
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,381
你們想怎麼嘲笑我都行

133
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:06,509
終於有同事仰慕我了

134
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:11,556
他好胖

135
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,433
荷馬，你的褲子被扯掉了

136
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電扶梯會把褲子轉回來

137
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大家也會想通的

138
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:17,979
（春田核電廠）

139
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,565
我的心靈導師來了

140
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,567
我準備了你喜歡的咖啡

141
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,610
沒有咖啡，只有甜甜圈球

142
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,073
我的天，你在說笑嗎？

143
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,993
這是真的嗎？７Ｇ區

144
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:35,329
７Ｇ區，有錢也來不了的地方

145
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當然了

146
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:40,168
好，你真是博學多聞

147
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,920
我就像個不願走出家門的老笨蛋

148
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,590
用你的知識淹沒我吧

149
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,091
我就知道你會這麼說

150
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,803
所以我準備了這些靈感海報

151
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,722
我覺得自己好像初次步入

152
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,640
耶路撒冷的尼克隊隊長

153
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:57,059
（不想幹大事就滾回家，投資自我）

154
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,896
還有什麼？　　　　讓我想想…

155
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,397
別忘了…　　　　對…

156
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,024
當然了，你得…　　　　太棒了

157
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:04,317
太棒了，好　　　　你必須這麼做

158
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,068
努力學習中　　　　要是不這麼做…

159
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,403
太棒了　　　　同時…

160
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,197
繼續學習　　　　現在沒有那玩意了

161
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,615
我都記得住　　　　看到這些了嗎？

162
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:12,658
看到了　　　　這個晚點再說

163
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,285
好…

164
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:15,995
真不敢相信，我才３５歲

165
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,623
就坐在原子界的巴巴布尼身邊了

166
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,209
你３５歲了？

167
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,211
那你為什麼還做２０歲人的工作

168
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,879
說起話來像１０歲小孩？

169
00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,214
是這樣的

170
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,716
我兄弟奈斯托跟我靠清理排水溝掙錢

171
00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:32,887
那個白痴奈斯托跌到狗窩上

172
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:33,930
愚蠢的奈斯托

173
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,807
然後我爸媽就逼我去找真正的工作

174
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,434
一份更腳踏實地的工作

175
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,937
所以我想何不追隨英雄的腳步

176
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,649
步入人類最偉大的核電使命

177
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:46,067
於是我跑到核電廠

178
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,528
跟他們說我有原住民血統，是有可能

179
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,862
我向來很喜歡那些傢伙

180
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,948
然後我就成為實習生了

181
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:54,575
短短三年後，我還找了一個心靈導師

182
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,537
我的海報還真的管用了

183
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,664
但你不需要我跟你說你有多棒

184
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:01,457
你在家裡獲得的讚美就夠多了

185
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,922
生日快樂，藍尼

186
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:12,593
麥克，你何不來我家吃晚餐？

187
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,971
我想把你在我身邊的模樣

188
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,722
介紹給幾個人

189
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:20,268
好，可以，我能去你家

190
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,727
我行的

191
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,771
藍尼，你這個醜八怪變態

192
00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:26,941
猜猜誰要去荷馬辛普森家吃飯了？

193
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,360
是我　　　　我叫卡爾

194
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,738
希望你能在邀請學徒

195
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:35,157
回家吃晚餐前先跟我說一聲

196
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,742
我想只要在砂鍋菜上多倒點洋芋片

197
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,911
分量應該就夠了

198
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,204
（洋芋片）

199
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:43,332
別擔心，你會愛上這孩子的

200
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,918
孩子？他看起來４０好幾了

201
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:49,005
荷馬，她好美

202
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,299
現在我知道你上班時為何總是打盹了

203
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,050
其實是剷雪郎

204
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,802
你好，我是瑪姬

205
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,804
我是麥克偉格曼，這位是莫琳

206
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,432
裡面這位是派崔克尤英偉格曼

207
00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:02,184
她是女孩，不能取名為派崔克

208
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:05,062
每場比賽阻攔成功２．４次

209
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,480
她必須叫派崔克

210
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:10,484
瞧瞧這頓大餐，我以為有超長潛艇堡

211
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:13,154
不過燒燙紅蘿蔔？誰想得到？

212
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:15,740
吃慢點，不然嘴巴又要燙傷了

213
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:17,658
好…我會吹一吹再吃

214
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:23,205
謝謝你邀請我們，麥克好仰慕你丈夫

215
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,541
聽到沒有？他好仰慕我

216
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,752
他們不再仰慕我了

217
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:31,047
你最好好好把握這傢伙，瑪姬

218
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:34,842
要是他單身，他會應接不暇

219
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:35,843
滿坑滿谷的女人等他挑

220
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:39,263
別擔心，你是我唯一的女人

221
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:40,640
我並不擔心

222
00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:44,143
偉格曼太太，你們倆怎麼認識的？

223
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:47,271
你會愛死這故事的，非常浪漫

224
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,190
你說吧，親愛的，你跟她說

225
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,983
他是我婚禮上的服務生

226
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:54,320
她好美，就像＂我家也有大明星＂裡

227
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:56,822
不發一語走出維尼房間的那些女孩

228
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,704
麥克，你似乎很聰明

229
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,040
我爸到底教了你什麼？

230
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,084
如何邊打盹邊吃甜甜圈嗎？

231
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,672
我沒聽錯這小鬼剛剛說的話嗎？

232
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,256
沒關係，麥克，我不在意

233
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,676
對，麥克，荷馬只在意肉汁

234
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,390
誰也不准不尊重荷馬辛普森

235
00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:25,768
尤其是像你這樣的醜陋小混混

236
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,353
沒錯，我說＂醜陋＂

237
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,271
你的頭看起來像被扔掉的玩偶

238
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,774
兩顆高爾夫球黏在燕麥罐上

239
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:35,319
放在湯米拉索達的內臟與牙籤腿之間

240
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:36,570
你不是小孩

241
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,823
你是個會走路的馬鈴薯時鐘

242
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,619
醜陋

243
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,289
玩偶…

244
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:52,712
牙籤腿

245
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:53,796
馬鈴薯時鐘

246
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,638
我只是在讓你難堪，小鬼，沒事的

247
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,765
我要你滾出去

248
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,732
真的很抱歉…

249
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,526
寶寶出生後要登記在哪？

250
00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:16,986
選秀王

251
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:20,573
我得說多少次對不起？

252
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,241
至少說一次吧

253
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,577
你還真想讓我難堪

254
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:27,329
那傢伙是瘋子　　　　他沒瘋

255
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,206
他是唯一尊重我的人

256
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,208
孩子們跟我都尊重你

257
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,502
你們只有愛我而已

258
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,172
以核電廠員工的身分看著我的眼睛

259
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,548
跟我說你尊重我

260
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,014
我只是很喜歡那種

261
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,683
有個人覺得我擅長某件事的感覺

262
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:52,021
我懂，小荷荷，但要是你真想幫他

263
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,439
那就讓他長大點吧

264
00:12:57,526 --> 00:13:00,112
加油啊，佛坦，巴克奈守不住籃框

265
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,198
他們是垃圾，快點防守

266
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,284
荷馬，你好嗎？

267
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:07,787
我在聽大學校隊比賽

268
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:13,292
麥克，我在想如果你不是３５歲

269
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:15,795
馬上要迎接新生兒的不支薪實習生

270
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,505
你有其他夢想嗎？

271
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:20,216
老天，你在擺心靈導師的架子了

272
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,510
好，我告訴你，但你別笑

273
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:25,638
我不會的　　　　披薩片

274
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,973
最棒的東西莫過於一片披薩，對吧？

275
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,684
但披薩永遠放在加熱燈下，都乾了

276
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,603
該死的加熱燈

277
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:35,356
對，所以何不一次做一片披薩就好？

278
00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:36,690
又熱又新鮮

279
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,026
每片披薩都是德瑞克基特那麼厲害

280
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,278
不是史考特布羅西亞斯又老又乾

281
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,656
太天才了

282
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:45,533
我的天，真不敢相信你會喜歡

283
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:48,494
麥克，你知道該怎麼稱呼披薩片嗎？

284
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,121
麥克的披薩片

285
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,082
麥克就是我　　　　對

286
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:57,378
你需要投資人，我知道完美人選

287
00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:58,963
他給了我五塊錢

288
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,508
每一片披薩都又熱又新鮮

289
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,426
從烤箱直接送入你嘴巴

290
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,512
每片披薩都是基特

291
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:09,014
不是史考特布羅西亞斯

292
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:12,017
為何不能叫一份披薩然後自己切片？

293
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,770
沒有整份披薩，只有披薩片

294
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,438
又熱又新鮮

295
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:19,149
不必擔心投資這傢伙的事業

296
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,818
伯恩斯先生，因為他拿了…

297
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,779
荷馬辛普森的全額心靈導師獎助金

298
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,282
我很榮幸地告訴你

299
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:30,244
這是我聽過最愚蠢的點子了

300
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:33,247
把這個實習生帶出去，你這個笨蛋

301
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:40,546
誰也不准不尊重荷馬辛普森

302
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:42,006
不，麥克，別這樣

303
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:44,258
腦殘的笨蛋

304
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:46,886
聽我說，你這個一肚子善存

305
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,929
屁股又小又弱的傢伙

306
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,890
一臉貪婪無比的樣子

307
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,601
你連幫他擦掉背上的汗都不配

308
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:55,019
你渾身都是被某人

309
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:57,313
扔在南瓜燈裡的中國料理味

310
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:00,524
我的心靈導師是全世界最閃亮的鑽石

311
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,152
把你的器官塞回福馬林罐子裡

312
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,195
爬回你媽的子宮裡

313
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,572
你這個病懨懨，長滿黴菌

314
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:07,656
得Ｃ肝的吸血鬼

315
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:12,953
對了，他已經沒在吃快樂藥丸了

316
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:19,627
伯恩斯先生的槍有２００年歷史

317
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,045
算你走運

318
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:23,172
但現在醫生說我的臉不能再中槍了

319
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,299
現在誰才醜，彈窩頭？

320
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,220
別這樣，沒事的，別哭了

321
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,139
我沒哭，是腦袋裡的ＢＢ彈

322
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:33,182
讓我的腦袋變得很沉重

323
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,975
麥克，這都是我的錯

324
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,811
我知道你覺得我很厲害，但我不厲害

325
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,898
我沒能阻止那些意外，是我釀成意外

326
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:42,566
不…

327
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,152
我那些寫著＂投資自我＂

328
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,445
跟＂不想幹大事就滾回家＂的海報

329
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:49,657
我被人逮到從海報店偷那些海報

330
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,826
我想幹大事，結果他們不讓我回家

331
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,662
麥克，面對現實吧

332
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:56,246
我是差勁的心靈導師

333
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,416
誰也不准不尊重荷馬辛普森

334
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,417
就連你也不行

335
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,920
你是像我這種搶人新娘的人渣

336
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:04,380
能有的最棒的心靈導師了

337
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:05,798
我會證明這一點

338
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,468
是誰把ＢＢ彈弄得滿地都是？

339
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,764
心靈導師

340
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:20,270
（麥克的披薩片）

341
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,149
有誰想要一片不是從一份披薩上

342
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,109
切下來的披薩嗎？

343
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:26,694
你從哪弄來餐車的？

344
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,195
這全是因為你，心靈導師

345
00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:29,780
全是因為你，面對現實吧

346
00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:32,366
孩子們跟我要一塊大派

347
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:35,411
你看不懂字嗎？這裡只有披薩片

348
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,121
好，那就要三片披薩

349
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:41,166
１３分鐘，２６分鐘與３９分鐘後好

350
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,335
別擋住窗戶，大胸肌

351
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,713
我的披薩片什麼時候會好？

352
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,297
我說的披薩片是指

353
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:51,218
你那筆可觀貸款的頭期款

354
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,595
你跟黑幫借錢？

355
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,639
不…沒事的

356
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:58,267
我跟肥東尼借了貸款期一週的週轉金

357
00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,351
總共十萬美金

358
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,353
我拿五萬塊買餐車

359
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,897
拿五萬塊去賭今晚里海隊的比賽了

360
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,149
他們穩贏的

361
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,443
把錢贏回來後，我就能還錢給黑幫

362
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,486
餐車也歸我

363
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:13,157
糟了，你把自己的人生都賭下去了

364
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,284
不想幹大事就滾回家，寶貝

365
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,619
里海隊有麻煩了

366
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,456
聖十字隊連續拿了２０分

367
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:23,208
不…里海隊穩贏的

368
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:26,003
他們絕對不可能會輸的

369
00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:32,509
又有人把人生賭在體育冠軍聯賽上了

370
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,094
拔槍

371
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:39,016
但里海隊從後方投出三分球領先了

372
00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:40,059
太棒了　　　　太棒了

373
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:41,518
收槍

374
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,439
接著聖十字隊得到關鍵分

375
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:48,567
里海隊再次以猛力的灌籃追回比數

376
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:50,027
太棒了

377
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:54,573
隨著倒數結束，里海隊絕對…

378
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:57,618
完蛋了

379
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:01,413
聖十字隊獲得下半場的勝利

380
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:04,958
拔槍，拉保險栓

381
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,505
別擔心，我知道一個

382
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:10,923
他們永遠也找不到的地方

383
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:14,051
（汽車報廢場）

384
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:15,719
（越式法包，果昔，巨無霸點心）

385
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,472
餐車墳場

386
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,808
（牛肉河粉冰棒）

387
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:21,975
（熱鵝肝聖代）

388
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,106
為什麼有這麼多失敗的生意？

389
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,691
因為他們不像我一樣有創新的概念

390
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,903
（史提夫的披薩片）

391
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,363
（烏龍雞柳條，墨西哥波蘭香腸）

392
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,739
（克里特斯的雞肉拇指）

393
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:42,496
（甘米拉麵）

394
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:49,586
荷馬，我得跟你說一件事

395
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:52,464
你兒子不醜，他很帥

396
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:53,799
跟他爸一樣

397
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,384
他會改頭換面的

398
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,094
跟派崔克寶寶說我愛她

399
00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:58,637
好，你們動手吧

400
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,225
我聞到馬自拉乳酪

401
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:07,646
在一片三角形麵團上融化的味道

402
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:11,859
在你們死之前，一起吃一塊派吧

403
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,153
我只有賣披薩片，你這個山頂洞人

404
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:19,366
通常披薩片都因為照了加熱燈而變乾

405
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:20,993
但這片披薩又熱又新鮮

406
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,328
看到沒有？這傢伙的點子不錯

407
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:28,417
如果你讓麥克做餐車生意還錢

408
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,420
不，餐車生意根本就是一場賭注

409
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,797
就連我們的賭博生意也遇到瓶頸

410
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,758
現在有了合法的線上賭博

411
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:39,219
真可惜你無法好好利用我的餐車

412
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:40,971
好好賭一把

413
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,431
趕快動手吧

414
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:45,392
一輛拿來收賭金的餐車…

415
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:51,273
我要一片乳酪披薩，下注喬治城隊

416
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,904
東尼，賽事的賭金越來越多了

417
00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:00,282
用這東西來賣大麻也是個好主意

418
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:06,622
荷馬，當沒有人相信這個傻蛋時

419
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,165
只有你相信他

420
00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:11,043
你聽他說話，幫助他把點子發揚光大

421
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,420
現在他成功了

422
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:17,174
你真的是一位傑出的心靈導師

423
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:22,346
讓河水奔流吧

424
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:29,311
讓夢想家喚醒國家

425
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:36,777
來吧，新的耶路撒冷

426
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:46,036
垂死的城市開始蓬勃發展

427
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:53,710
這座城市開始強取豪奪

428
00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:58,924
讓人們瑟瑟發抖

429
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,720
我的心好痛

430
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,890
我們來到世界的邊際，跑在水面上

431
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,685
穿越濃霧，你的兒女們

432
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:15,065
讓河水奔流吧

433
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:20,320
讓夢想家喚醒國家

434
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:26,702
來吧，新的耶路撒冷

435
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,914
謝謝觀賞

436
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:33,000
翻譯：ＳＤＩ　Ｍｅｄｉａ