1 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,839 辛普森一家 2 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:09,592 不 3 00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:17,225 不 4 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:24,899 春田核电厂 5 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,402 老板 你的年度财务报告准备好了 6 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:30,447 开启眼镜扫描模式 7 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:32,866 开灯 8 00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:34,951 校准 9 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,412 难以想象 太可怕了 10 00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:39,998 这是我的年收入首度低于前一年 11 00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,458 真遗憾 12 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,293 现在开明的人喜欢太阳能 13 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,378 有自知之明的恶人偏好水力压裂 14 00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,255 如果持续下去 15 00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:50,091 150年后我就得流落街头 16 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,093 先生 先生 我确信有些 17 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,845 不重要的开支项目可以削减 18 00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:55,430 大家都不会看不到的那种 19 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:56,931 即刻生效 20 00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:59,601 员工福利将删除儿童健康保险 21 00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:10,862 本次会议结束 天佑美国 22 00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,655 把猎犬放出来 23 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:17,327 我有三个孩子 都要用到健康保险 24 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,037 我惨了 25 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,790 这就是有家庭的下场 26 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,042 我死去时会像活着一样 27 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,794 优雅又孤单 28 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:29,839 棒 29 00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:35,929 也许可以帮孩子们申请政府医保 30 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:38,890 玛琦 很遗憾那已经没了 记得吗 31 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:41,726 因为大家都想要的那些企业减税 32 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,311 我不想要 33 00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:46,564 你现在才这么说 但我记得那时候你说 34 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:49,150 “天啊 企业减税” 35 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,569 “劳动者不是坐享其成者” 36 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,988 每次安·寇特得了感冒 37 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,990 你都会把她误认为是我 38 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,952 亲爱的 抱歉 我们得大幅减少 39 00:01:59,035 --> 00:01:59,994 孩子们的医疗支出 40 00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:02,831 我那年代的孩子根本不用看医生 41 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,541 只要让他们喝一大口威士忌 42 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:05,875 然后送去上学 43 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,086 如果他们弄丢一只雪鞋 44 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:09,671 就用另一只打他们 45 00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:14,050 我们就是这样养育出输掉越战的一代 46 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,719 巴特 你之前吃的注意力缺失症的药 47 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,180 保险不再给付了 48 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:22,142 换成便宜一点的药 但效果一样好 49 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,352 集中锭 再见 50 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,604 镇定丸 你好 51 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,570 妈 我正在浏览疑病症网站 52 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,488 有个东西你得看一下 53 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,534 你让你的宝贝孩子 54 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:43,454 服用一般治疗注意力缺乏的镇定丸 55 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,789 是啊 怎么了 56 00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:48,877 你的孩子可能会产生有害的副作用 57 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,420 包括头痛 58 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,463 痛苦的痉挛 59 00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:55,300 口干舌燥 60 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,428 长出胡须 61 00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:01,764 音乐性肠胃胀气 62 00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:06,186 不由自主的曼非斯舞步 63 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,815 瞬间变换位置 64 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,692 什么 65 00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:16,279 还有只能用“海豚式” 66 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:17,363 来形容的症状 67 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,494 如果你或你的挚爱 68 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,331 产生上述任何一种副作用 69 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:27,957 你最好还是记得 70 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,168 生命无情又残酷 71 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:33,213 我们对宇宙来说无关紧要 72 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,090 再见 但有何意义呢 73 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:43,223 没有保险 我们只能去找… 74 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,725 尼克医生 75 00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:46,851 对不起 各位 76 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,144 尼克·里维埃拉医生 现金收购动物皮毛 77 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,772 记住 如果你们有天变成狗 78 00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:53,191 我就可以帮你们开药了 79 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,526 没有希望 毫无希望 80 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,111 探索水晶的神奇疗效 81 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:58,404 法奥水晶店 今日特供女阴蛋和火腿 82 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,866 “水晶的神奇疗效” 83 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,702 其他方法我都试过了 84 00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:07,247 缓解疼痛 缓解焦虑 85 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,539 缓解可支配收入 普通石头五折巨惠 86 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,875 您好 好心的皇后 87 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,294 我指的是“您好” 也是“平静” 88 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:14,587 《气场 气场 气场》 《大家一起来呼呼》 89 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:15,672 我可以如何抚慰你 90 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,131 《“风水”的正确读音》 《新生儿起名大全》 91 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,549 天啊 说来话长 92 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:22,512 但这只是宇宙对话的一小片段 93 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:26,766 我儿子服用注意力缺失症的药 出现严重副作用 94 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:30,937 他爸希望他去打橄榄球 让他脑震荡冷静一下 95 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,106 我正好有适合你的东西 96 00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:34,107 水晶 97 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,442 疗愈水晶 98 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,486 我实在是走投无路了 99 00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,530 水晶是一种永恒的能量数据库 100 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,866 能产生知识 闪闪发亮 101 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,451 科学家终于意识到 102 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,246 金字塔一直以来都知道的事 103 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:49,414 巫术玩偶 一磅5美元 104 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,666 我想榨干你的荷包 105 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:55,670 我买几颗石头就好了 106 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,880 它们不只是石头 107 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,049 也是很棒的圣诞袜礼物 108 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,384 那光明节呢 109 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:02,760 派不上用场 110 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,013 住手 111 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:07,223 扛巴特 112 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:13,271 巴特 注意力缺失症治疗时间到了 113 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:14,605 啊 114 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,357 啊 115 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,651 他好像训练得太好了 116 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:19,861 不是药丸 117 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,237 栓剂 118 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,697 塞进来吧 119 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,699 不是药 120 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,869 我希望你试试这个 121 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,170 我相信 122 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:38,588 三周后 123 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:43,092 莉萨得到A的考卷 124 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,470 巴特得到A的考卷 125 00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,473 A 天啊 巴特 126 00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:49,932 真的是水晶的作用吗 127 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,017 上帝保佑众生 历史测验 128 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,144 没错 肯定是水晶 129 00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:54,896 你真的得到A 130 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,939 没有用立可白涂掉 131 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,317 答案真的是对的 132 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,110 或许他真的做到了 133 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:04,697 也许他作弊 我得找出作弊方法 134 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,158 有人需要水晶冷静一下 135 00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:10,119 这是你的男友 也就是地球做的 136 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,080 莉萨有男友 137 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,664 我竟然通过这种方式知道 138 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,626 我不知道你们两个谁比较笨 139 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:20,630 所以我还是有点神秘吧 是吧 140 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,131 春田小学 141 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,842 玛琦 听说巴特得到A 142 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,095 -你怎么办到的 -你可以保密吗 143 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,138 除非跟人有关 不然没问题 144 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,640 是水晶 145 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:31,891 水晶是吧 146 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:34,060 我可以用在寇克身上 147 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:37,271 我想放在床上 让他别爬到我这边来 148 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,941 别担心 我回家路上再去买几颗 149 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,235 最后大减价 清空存货 150 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:43,945 冥想光盘 占星术书籍 往生 超感力星体投射 手鼓和编钟 151 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,738 -不 怎么回事 -这间店要关了 152 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:49,617 我一直想加入的邪教 终于空出了一个床位 153 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,786 我应该恭喜你吧 154 00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:53,496 我还可以买水晶吗 155 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:54,914 拿去吧 156 00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:57,959 你可以拿走我的所有库存 157 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,419 谢谢 158 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,756 进入通往天堂的双轮战车吧 159 00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:07,760 你确定吗 160 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:11,389 当然 我要升级成更高等的存在 161 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,391 姐妹们 162 00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:16,853 让我们把眼白涂黑吧 163 00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,898 天啊 164 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,155 “水晶交给新主人之前” 165 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,574 “应该先清除旧有能量” 166 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,826 “用水和硫磺混合物” 167 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,578 《水晶养护序言》 贝利水晶和威廉 克里斯托编著 168 00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:35,746 也就是我们家水龙头流出来的东西 169 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,504 水晶让寇克找到一份新工作 170 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:44,922 有制服的工作 171 00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,258 没错 我在球队里打杂 172 00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:49,051 寇克 负数号 球童 173 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,803 尼尔森考试得到了A 174 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:51,888 化学测验 175 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,390 这张会贴在前院的冰箱上面 176 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,642 玛琦 我们需要更多水晶 177 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:02,523 我根本无法完全确定水晶真的有用 178 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,108 我该卖给别人吗 179 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:07,653 这些或许能让我戒酒 180 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:09,363 我想我应该卖 181 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,617 我要磨碎再吸食 182 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,037 老旧新世代商店 183 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:20,082 每个黑玛瑙水晶10美元 无效药油 184 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,002 玛琦 巴特在我的课堂上又得了A 185 00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:26,297 我很惊讶像巴特这样动个不停的人 186 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,549 能被这种异教鬼扯治愈 187 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,426 你无法否认事实 188 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,095 天啊 黑曜石只剩几颗 189 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,805 月亮药水快没了 190 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,308 大脑粉末没有了 191 00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:39,936 我可以卖给你散装的大脑粉末 192 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,062 林赛 奈格 全都包 193 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,939 这是大脑粉末的来源 194 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,191 这是牛 不过是很聪明的牛 195 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,151 你还有卖什么 196 00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:49,237 按摩石 铜手镯 197 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,571 捕梦网 198 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,115 捕梦网替换滤纸 199 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,326 旧的这个捕满了梦想 200 00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:56,786 我什么也没看到 201 00:08:56,869 --> 00:09:00,623 你没看出来吗 你希望大获成功的梦想 202 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,208 看到了吗 就在这里 看到了吗 203 00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:03,543 -好吧 -就在这 看见了吗 204 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,003 我想我开始看到了 205 00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:07,755 你确定真的看到了 206 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,048 我看到了 207 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,800 好的 放轻松 208 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:12,218 别像欧普拉 更像乔普拉一点 209 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:15,513 我看到了 我想我可以扩充产品线 210 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,848 这样我就可以自己赚钱 211 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,017 不用依赖霍默 212 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,978 我是不是听到“不用依赖霍默” 213 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:24,105 达夫 214 00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:25,356 退休 215 00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:27,191 你应该继续去上班 216 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,277 我觉得我不记得去公司的路了 217 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,112 你今天才去过 218 00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:33,114 感觉如此 对吧 219 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:37,952 在默默 我们有全能妈妈 220 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:39,954 所需的一切 221 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,122 仙人掌奶 222 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,790 生产用藤椅 223 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,250 童话陷阱 224 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,960 西藏颂钵 225 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,513 马卡龙是自由放养的吗 226 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:01,767 只用树上掉下来的椰子 227 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,437 或被醒着的猴子骗来的 228 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,480 不好意思 玛琦 229 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,149 我得勒令你停业 230 00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,776 你没有零售业执照 231 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,487 警长 我真的需要执照才能卖 232 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:17,450 莎拉很喜欢的大麻乳液吗 233 00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:20,077 这罐送你 234 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:21,495 我也喜欢 235 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,748 但我可能需要更多 236 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,588 天啊 237 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,302 玛琦 238 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:41,641 我只滚过大富翁里的假钱和意式腊肠 239 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:44,810 跑去哪里了 240 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,562 都在这里 宝贝 241 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,484 我们今天赚了一千 242 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,069 扣除成本是多少 243 00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:55,821 998元 244 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:57,740 我爱你 245 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,327 很美 可不是嘛 246 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,079 噢… 247 00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:06,624 水晶蓝的诱惑 248 00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,716 最好做好准备 249 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,551 硬糖果 250 00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:20,221 将看到那道光 251 00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:21,889 按摩油 252 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:25,893 爱就是解答 253 00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:27,770 噢… 254 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,980 没关系的 255 00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:35,361 你不准现在放弃 256 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,113 噢… 257 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,907 很容易就找到了 258 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,951 水晶香槟 259 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,954 只要观照自己的灵魂 260 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,831 观照你的灵魂 261 00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:49,375 打开你的心 262 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,842 水晶大教堂 263 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:08,769 喵呜 264 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:16,861 水晶蓝的诱惑 265 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,323 那些水晶 266 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,702 一定是打通了你闭塞的地方 267 00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:28,497 是啊 让60加63这种数学题目 268 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,040 变得像123一样简单 269 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:33,502 那60加63是多少 270 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,670 噢 271 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,714 是123 272 00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,132 天啊 273 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,552 我会搞懂你的诈骗手法 274 00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:45,765 抱歉莉萨 颂钵让我听不到你的声音 275 00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:50,895 你逃不了的 276 00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:52,396 我会阻止你的 277 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,148 因为这不是… 278 00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:56,400 噢 279 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:59,779 颂钵 你真令人感到平静 280 00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:03,824 露安今天买了价值60美元的 281 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,451 有机黑莓 282 00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,244 希望她两个都喜欢 283 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,164 我需要这些钱买东西 284 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,959 这些以备不时之需 285 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,795 我是不是听到雷声 286 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,549 谢谢 287 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,634 我们打烊了 288 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:25,930 谢谢 再见 你听不懂 289 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,098 玛琦 我得请你先别打烊 290 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,391 我是派珀 佩斯利 291 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:30,601 我认识你吗 292 00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,646 我在谢尔比维尔开了间疗愈美容站 293 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:34,897 也许你有听过“扑通” 294 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:38,442 能遇见创业同行实在太棒了 295 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:42,780 是吗 要不是打了太多肉毒杆菌 我现在一定会皱眉 296 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:46,408 北 南 东 西 297 00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:51,455 东边那是夏冬至石 不是春秋分石 298 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:56,085 别影响我的生意 299 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:07,555 玛琦 亲爱的 你得小心一点 她是认真的 300 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:10,724 你看上面写什么 301 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:11,851 和平 302 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,812 -这表示要开战了 -玛琦 别这么说 303 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:19,233 我因为孩子才开店 但现在我很享受 304 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,568 知道吗 305 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:25,531 我要在谢尔比维尔设个贩卖亭 在她的地盘上 306 00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:32,413 默默 307 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,623 扑通 308 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,125 那里不是你的位子 309 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,127 那个卖悬浮滑板的人呢 310 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:39,837 玛琦出的价码更高 311 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,218 你知道你不能这么做吧 312 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,971 在同个电扶梯口设立竞争商品柜位 313 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:50,139 我的意思是 314 00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:51,473 你不能这么做 315 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,101 商场里再也没有法律和秩序了 316 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:56,395 吉尔的最后一摊 317 00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:57,479 啊 318 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,064 杰 克鲁德 319 00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:01,233 你一直生活在我的贩卖亭里 320 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,735 如果你觉得这算生活 321 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,988 巴特 你又拿到一个A 322 00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:10,868 看来我把我的平均成绩拉高到D 323 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,013 为了测试我的理论 324 00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:33,682 抓到了 325 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,602 你在这里做什么 326 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:38,729 我知道你做了什么 巴特 辛普森 327 00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:40,731 像水晶般清澈透明 328 00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:42,566 你把盖茨堡演说稿 329 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,568 藏在桌旁的海报上 330 00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:47,863 然后趁米尔豪斯让法兰德斯分心时看 331 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:51,951 小麦粉 332 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,794 纯属巧合 333 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:04,338 我把时间表都藏在牛顿的假发里 334 00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:06,507 你看我在苹果里藏了什么 335 00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:13,055 你知道有更容易的方法吗 只要用功一点 就能得到A 336 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:14,890 但这样有什么意义 337 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,600 我要告诉爸 338 00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,353 今天不行 我有读书俱乐部 339 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,729 笨蛋联盟 340 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,855 那是一本书吗 341 00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:25,275 不 是蓝尼 卡尔 巴尼和老莫 342 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:28,195 我们看的书是龙什么的女孩 343 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:30,280 -我连书名都没看完 -我也是 344 00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:33,659 跟谍影什么的一样无聊 345 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,244 那就取消读书会吧 346 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:38,205 因为巴特有事得告诉妈妈 347 00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:39,289 为什么 348 00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,750 你不知道这种行为有多糟 对吧 349 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:45,546 你背叛唯一一个还相信你的人 350 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,089 狗相信我 351 00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:49,925 你还是不懂吗 352 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,511 谁永远在你需要的时候挺身而出 353 00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:56,640 我会永远爱我妈 354 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:59,268 她是我最爱的女孩 355 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:01,562 我要承担起属于自己的责任 356 00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:04,064 我会永远爱我妈 357 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:07,151 天啊 她对我只有满满的爱 358 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,986 我要如何驱散这种罪恶感 359 00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:11,655 -跟她说实话 -不是 继续说 360 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,657 -不 就是要这样 -我知道了 361 00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,576 你们听我说 362 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,287 我为了看这本书特地学瑞典语 363 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,248 我们非讨论不可 364 00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:25,002 北欧犯罪小说以对白浅显 不用隐喻闻名 365 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:26,336 再深入一点 366 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:30,174 这本小说通过暗示和明示反映出 367 00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:32,760 瑞典政策辞令和落实之间的落差… 368 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,261 还不错 369 00:17:34,344 --> 00:17:35,596 谁想吃蛋糕 370 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,892 我说 谁想吃蛋糕 371 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,898 我们的柜位之战开始了 372 00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:49,026 我的姐妹们滥用派珀的试用品 373 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:53,489 我闻起来像高级度假胜地的吸烟区 374 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,491 像在贝果上面涂奶油一样 375 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,744 接下来是第二阶段 376 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:01,371 没有任何柜位能忍受的 377 00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,457 困惑老人 378 00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:06,877 我身上有颗女阴蛋 我想它可能正在孵化 379 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,796 它们不会孵化 380 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,714 你要冒这个险吗 381 00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:14,468 鞋之表 382 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,261 妈 对不起 383 00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,639 我得到A不是因为水晶 384 00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:19,723 我骗了你 385 00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:27,147 这个水晶没有用 386 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,482 尼尔森被留校察看 387 00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:32,694 我从脱衣舞女被降为上空泊车员 388 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,614 寇克越过这些 爬到我旁边 389 00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:37,157 三次 390 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,410 还剩下最后一件事要做 391 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,915 这不是我想的那颗蛋 392 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,375 继续找 393 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:49,962 停 派珀 别找了 你赢了 394 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,589 我不属于这间充满合法生意的商场 395 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:53,882 卡车螺母商店 球形公园草坪修剪物 396 00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,175 狗狗紧身连衣裤 客制姓名雪花 397 00:18:57,344 --> 00:19:00,305 我赢了…是我 398 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,474 对不起 我只是好胜心太强了 399 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,143 你有试过玫瑰石英吗 400 00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:07,062 我问你 我看起来像笨蛋吗 401 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,814 我好喜欢你的手提包 402 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:10,274 谢谢你 403 00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,025 不用 我赢了 404 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,535 玛琦 亲爱的 真高兴你回来了 405 00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:22,870 我一直在想 406 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:26,623 我不想只是霍默 辛普森太太的先生 407 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,125 我想去找份工作 408 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,459 你有工作啊 409 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,379 我知道 照顾孩子又看起来光鲜亮丽 410 00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:33,755 但我觉得 411 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,799 有个每天能去的地方还不错 412 00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:37,843 你有发电厂的工作啊 413 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:40,304 他们每天早上都打来问你在哪里 414 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,557 所以你不生气 我爱你 415 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,476 谢谢你的理解 416 00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:59,573 不好意思 我有个朋友应该在这里 417 00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:02,409 我只想确认她没事 418 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,369 玛琦 见到你真好 419 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,330 但你真的没必要过来 420 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:08,040 因为这里一切都… 421 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,000 快跑… 422 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:14,755 怎么回事 我以为你只是在按摩 423 00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:17,507 按摩不错 但其他方面就… 424 00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:20,886 炸掉那座桥 425 00:21:14,856 --> 00:21:16,858 字幕翻译:侯敏生