1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,553 (exclaims) 3 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,768 (school bell rings) 4 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,105 (burps) 5 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,190 (whistle blows) 6 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,692 (yells) 7 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:31,239 (beeps) 8 00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:36,870 ♪ ♪ 9 00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,913 (playing upbeat harp music) 10 00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:45,670 (tires screech) 11 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,924 D'oh! 12 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:51,509 (grunts) 13 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,595 (1950s-style sitcom theme playing) 14 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,767 (1960s-style sitcom theme playing) 15 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,401 (1970s-style sitcom theme playing) 16 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,030 Oh! 17 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:15,867 (1980s-style sitcom theme playing) 18 00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:23,541 (screaming) 19 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,005 (all exhale) 20 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,305 -BOTH: Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? -(Homer groaning) 21 00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:39,140 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 22 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:40,725 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 23 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,644 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 24 00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:45,647 You're here, you're just in a long line. 25 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:47,857 -Thank you. -We appreciate it. 26 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,859 -(phone chimes) -(gasps) 27 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,111 Points. 28 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,448 -(baby laughs) -Follow me. 29 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,368 -Where? -Points. 30 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,745 Points, points, excuse me, points. 31 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,664 -Coming through, points. -My visor! 32 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,545 No, Dad. No. We've been in line for an hour. 33 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,213 Hmm, you have a point. 34 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,215 -(gasps) Points! -(shouts) 35 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:13,466 (tires screech) 36 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,470 Will you please explain where you're taking us, 37 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,097 and don't just say "points." 38 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:21,558 Okay. Over a lifetime of credit card debt, 39 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,352 and paying for credit card debt with worse credit card debt, 40 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:27,147 this family has two million hotel rewards 41 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:30,650 loyalty... points, which we can only use 42 00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:34,487 at the nearest Second Best Western Motel. 43 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:37,365 Oh, Dad, the points expire at midnight. 44 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,784 No worries. 45 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,704 If I average 80 miles an hour for 14 straight hours, 46 00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:45,248 -we'll make it. -I love you, Homer. 47 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:46,749 -Step on it, Dad! -(phone vibrating) 48 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,585 And I'll field this call from Grampa. 49 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,503 (falsetto voice): Connection failed. 50 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,713 GRAMPA (over phone): But my liver! 51 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,381 So where exactly are we going? 52 00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,175 Niagara Falls. 53 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,010 -Eh. -Meh. -Paid for by points. 54 00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:59,554 (chanting): Points! Points! Points! 55 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:03,349 I spy a closed-down Toys"R"Us. 56 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,519 (groans) 57 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:09,981 I spy a bankrupt Sears and Roebuck. 58 00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,983 -D'oh! -I don't know about this game. 59 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:13,985 I find it a little... (gasps) 60 00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:17,363 Circuit City overrun by wild dogs. 61 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,824 (barking, growling) 62 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:20,950 BART AND HOMER: Booyah! 63 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,453 How can you booyah this country's decline? 64 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,954 Cheer up, honey. 65 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,249 We're headed to the one place that can never decline, 66 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,585 because it was never that great: 67 00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:33,087 Upstate New York. 68 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,173 ♪ ♪ 69 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:43,681 ♪ Start watching Fox News ♪ 70 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:48,019 ♪ Stop watching your weight ♪ 71 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:52,023 ♪ There is no fancy part of it ♪ 72 00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:56,027 ♪ Upstate New York ♪ 73 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:59,739 ♪ They're fond of their booze ♪ 74 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:04,035 ♪ Hot wing sauce is great ♪ 75 00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:07,705 ♪ I'm gonna clog my heart in it ♪ 76 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:11,960 ♪ Upstate New York ♪ 77 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:16,339 ♪ I want to sleep in, in a city ♪ 78 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:19,884 ♪ That never wakes ♪ 79 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:23,054 ♪ And find I'm fitting right in ♪ 80 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,348 ♪ One of the gang ♪ 81 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:28,142 ♪ Par for the course ♪ 82 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:32,313 ♪ The Kodak plant closed ♪ 83 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:37,527 ♪ But I'm longing to stay ♪ 84 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:41,406 ♪ And go on disability ♪ 85 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:46,160 ♪ In Upstate New York ♪ 86 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:49,914 ♪ Can't make it anywhere ♪ 87 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:53,584 ♪ But I can make it there ♪ 88 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:57,880 ♪ I love you so ♪ 89 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,259 ♪ Upstate New York. ♪ 90 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,806 Benedict Arnold fought here, baby. 91 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,727 (birds chirping) 92 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,687 You want a quarter for the binoculars? 93 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:13,855 I guess. 94 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:16,399 Those tourist binoculars are never that strong. 95 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,859 (coin clatters) 96 00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,990 LISA: Now, that's worth a quarter. 97 00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:26,326 BART: So magnificent. 98 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,955 Hey, Lis, want to bounce? 99 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:34,417 Not till I've soaked in the full majesty of the falls. 100 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,669 And done. 101 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,423 Take that, blue boy. 102 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,258 Eat rubber, red head. (grunts) 103 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,595 I can't believe the kids are already bored with the view. 104 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,096 Mmm. 105 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,098 While the kids are bouncing around, 106 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,018 why don't we do a little bouncing, too? 107 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,394 (laughs) 108 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:57,148 That's even more romantic than what you said at Fort Dix. 109 00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:59,317 (both moaning) 110 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,110 (both grunting) 111 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,445 -Whoa! -(laughs) 112 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,364 Let's see-- 113 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:08,201 the angle of rebound equals the angle of incidence. 114 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,621 (gasps) 115 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:15,750 Ooh, I forgot to account for surface irregularities. 116 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,003 (gasps) 117 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,339 Okay, time to take a sick day. 118 00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:23,174 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh God! 119 00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:25,343 Ooh, a rainbow. 120 00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:27,053 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! 121 00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:28,971 (grunts) 122 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,642 (pops loudly) 123 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,268 (groans) 124 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,020 Where am I? 125 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:40,316 Oh... handsome, horsey. 126 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,984 Am I in heaven? 127 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,612 Even better, eh? You're in beautiful Canada... 128 00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:48,324 is what I'd say if Canadians weren't too modest to brag. 129 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,659 But we are. 130 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,661 Oh... 131 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:54,497 I have a young girl who may-- I repeat, may-- 132 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,374 need medical attention, eh? 133 00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:58,459 -I repeat: eh. -(sirens wailing) 134 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,924 (sighs) 135 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:10,847 Ms. Simpson, you're a very lucky lady. 136 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,266 Oh, sweetie, thank God, thank God. 137 00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:15,268 (grunting) 138 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:18,855 Your daughter's fine, but I recommend a five-day stay. 139 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,607 Of course, of course. We'll take out a third mortgage. 140 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,651 Sir, you're in Canada now, 141 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,821 where your health care is free. 142 00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,407 Free health care. Why can't America do that? 143 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,992 She's delirious, Doc. 144 00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:33,703 America can't pay for health care and give corporations 145 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:36,372 the tax breaks they so desperately need. 146 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,874 I'm not delirious. 147 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,626 In fact, I've never felt more protected. 148 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,336 Not like back home. 149 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:45,548 Ooh, hang on. Did you just say you don't feel safe 150 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:46,883 in your home country? 151 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,885 Why should she feel safe? 152 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:52,430 In America, the great El Barto roams the streets. 153 00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:55,099 So, let me get this straight: you're afraid of America. 154 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,559 Is that right, young lady? 155 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,187 -Well, there's voter suppression... -Shh. 156 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,898 -...and utter disregard for the environment... -Shh. 157 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,734 ...a president who's such a son of a... -Shh. 158 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,904 Oh, save that language for the lower 48. 159 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:11,491 No, I'm telling you. Our president really is a god... 160 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,659 -Shush. -We know. 161 00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,079 (moans) 162 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,249 Lisa, as you're clearly a victim of political persecution 163 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,044 who fears for her life, I must keep you in Canada 164 00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:26,422 where you'll be safe and assigned your own hockey team. 165 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,300 Please not Ottawa, please not Ottawa. 166 00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:31,761 Yeah, I'm-I'm so sorry. 167 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,263 (gasps) You can't keep my daughter. 168 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,933 She's the heart and soul of this family. 169 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,227 -Hey. What am I? -You're the spleen. 170 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,395 We don't know what it does and we don't care. 171 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,730 My hands are tied, ma'am. 172 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,899 She's in the asylum pipeline now. 173 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,901 You can't separate us from our child. 174 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:48,569 That's America's thing. 175 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,279 Well, then you leave us no choice. 176 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,824 We have to deport you, Canadian-style. 177 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,536 Great. Come on. Bring it in, bring it in. 178 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,961 Lisa, are they taking care of you? Are you eating okay? 179 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,587 (Canadian accent): Look, I'm fine, eh. 180 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,047 We're losing her. 181 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,382 Mom, I'm okay. 182 00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,092 They put me in a nice foster home 183 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:12,760 with Gord and Francette here. 184 00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:14,262 Enough with the accent. 185 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,596 (regular accent): Okay. 186 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,266 Lisa, where should we go for dinner tonight? 187 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,434 Harvey's or Swiss Chalet? 188 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:21,978 How about Mr. Submarine? 189 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,771 (gasps) Or Earls? 190 00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:25,064 Don't forget Humpty's. 191 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,482 Mmm, 192 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,193 restaurant chains I never heard of. 193 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:32,029 (moans) 194 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,740 Homer, you take Bart back to Springfield. 195 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,410 I am going for my daughter. 196 00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:40,288 Local smarty-pants Lisa Simpson has been abducted 197 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:43,416 by America's Ned Flanders to the north, Canada. 198 00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,918 Here in Springfield, reactions to Lisa's loss 199 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,671 have been loud and uninformed. 200 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,548 Lisa was the moral center of this town. 201 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,550 Now it's Barney, who knows nothing. 202 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:56,095 Except it is the purpose of government to see that not only 203 00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:58,764 the legitimate interests of the few are protected, 204 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,475 but that the rights of the many are conserved. 205 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,687 -Shut your gibber-hole. (grunts) -Ow! 206 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:08,149 Ugh! She was the only one in this band worth a tinker's damn. 207 00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,735 -(all groaning) -Oh, come on. 208 00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,236 You know you all stink. 209 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,156 We've been working on the same song for 30 years. 210 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:16,824 ♪ ♪ 211 00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:19,827 (gasps) Can you fall in love with a country? 212 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:23,623 The science textbooks acknowledge climate change. 213 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,000 Class, let's give an enthusiastic 214 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,461 but quiet hello to Lisa Simpson. 215 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,087 STUDENTS: Hello. 216 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,673 As an American, I'd like to apologize 217 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,300 for something our president said about 218 00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:36,927 your wonderfully progressive prime minister. 219 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,555 Is there any way I can send a note? Or maybe I could... 220 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,724 -Right this way. -Oh. 221 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,851 Hmm! 222 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,936 -Mr. Trudeau? -Yes, Lisa? 223 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,355 Oh. 224 00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:51,484 I am really, really sorry about what our president called you. 225 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:55,196 I don't think about it, I've moved on. 226 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,365 Weak. He called me weak. 227 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,033 Absolutely. 228 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,368 Let me ask you. 229 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,745 Does this look weak? 230 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:04,163 Seriously? 231 00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:06,916 Wow, that is impressive. 232 00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,876 Uh, watch your tie. 233 00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:11,462 So, listen, if I could just ask you one question 234 00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:14,006 about the SNC-Lavalin scandal? 235 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,092 (suspenseful espionage music playing) 236 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:25,726 MRS. SCARBOROUGH: Now, Lisa, 237 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:29,063 we'll be doing a class play based on a great Canadian novel. 238 00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:32,024 The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz by Mordecai Richler? 239 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,401 Maybe next year, Oliver. 240 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:34,777 It's never Duddy. 241 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,321 No, we're doing a child-friendly version 242 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,447 of The Handmaid's Tale. 243 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,741 Ooh, I'd like to try out for Offred. 244 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,576 (sounds of awe) 245 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:46,122 Oh, so you're asking directly for something you want. 246 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,417 Well, that's not very Canadian, but I like it. 247 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,502 (electricity crackles) 248 00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:59,135 I've never been happier. (giggles) 249 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,845 Polite applause, children. 250 00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:03,222 (weakly): Yay. 251 00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:05,307 ♪ ♪ 252 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:10,855 No. 253 00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,231 (groans) 254 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,735 (grunts) 255 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,029 (delighted gasp) 256 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,115 Hi, Mrs. Simpson. 257 00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:24,118 I have to get my daughter back. Can I hide in the trunk? 258 00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:27,455 Okay, but don't tell anyone we're going up for beer. 259 00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,415 MARGE AND DRIVERS: We all know. 260 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:30,583 (feeble groan) 261 00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,668 ♪ ♪ 262 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,212 D'oh. 263 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,636 What's this blue stuff, eh? 264 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,473 Oh, um, it's called a car tail. 265 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,308 Stupid new American fad. 266 00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:48,976 Oh, we'll get it in six months. 267 00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,896 Move along. 268 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,862 SQUEAKY-VOICED TEEN: Goodbye! 269 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,655 Where is she? 270 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,282 Mom. 271 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:06,243 (gasps) Oh, sweetie. 272 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:09,330 Mmm, this is the best hug we've ever had. 273 00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:11,248 Yes, it's wonderful. 274 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,167 Please don't make me leave. 275 00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,669 Your home is with us, not them. 276 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:18,130 You must have known I wasn't happy in Springfield. 277 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,341 All I did was play the blues. 278 00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:22,009 Are you sure you didn't play the blues 279 00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:23,844 because slow tempos are easier? 280 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,304 Maybe a little. 281 00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:27,264 But this country is better. 282 00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:30,142 Their Fox News is just news about foxes. 283 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,353 Listen, you little traitor. I'm your mother. 284 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:33,979 And you live where I live. 285 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,815 You're coming home with me. 286 00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:40,069 I'm really gonna miss this place. 287 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,029 If it makes you feel any better, 288 00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:44,365 Canada exploits its environment, too. 289 00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,826 -Wha...? -This country does it all. 290 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,204 Tar sands, strip-mining, Mountie-mocking, 291 00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:53,707 geese-goosing, french fry-gravying. 292 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:57,545 Okay, but I'm sure you treat all peoples equally. 293 00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:00,589 -Except the Québécois. -And the Newfies. 294 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,675 KIDS: Stupid Newfies. 295 00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,051 I'm a Newfie. 296 00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,136 Whee! 297 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,683 I guess that does make me feel a little better. 298 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:11,976 Thank you. 299 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,605 ♪ Where the wind blows cold ♪ 300 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,983 ♪ And there's ice and snow ♪ 301 00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:22,736 ♪ Some days go on forever ♪ 302 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:25,239 ♪ But I'm warm and fed ♪ 303 00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:27,408 ♪ In a Newfoundlander's bed ♪ 304 00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:31,537 ♪ I'll be an islander forever ♪ 305 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:34,582 ♪ I'll be an islander ♪ 306 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,500 ♪ Forever. ♪ 307 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,300 MARGE: Sir, we'd appreciate it 308 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:47,761 if you gave us safe passage back to America. 309 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:50,931 Sorry, but as it now says on the Statue of Liberty, 310 00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:53,017 "No re-entry without hand stamp." 311 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,853 -Where do you get the hand stamp? -There isn't one. 312 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:02,985 Our top story tonight: Estranged Brew. 313 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,987 Marge Simpson and her daughter have now been 314 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:08,115 banned from the United States, just like asbestos. 315 00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:10,034 And this just in: asbestos is back 316 00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,911 into America's hospitals and schools. 317 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,079 Let me just say this asbestos will be 318 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,206 reinstalled with the greatest of care. 319 00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:21,128 (coughs) 320 00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:25,382 Oh, Homie, I don't know how we're gonna get back. 321 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,968 Hmm... how soon can you grow a mustache? 322 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,303 That won't work. 323 00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:31,138 Your call. 324 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:32,806 Hmm, at least it looks like 325 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,975 you're getting along okay without us. 326 00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:40,272 You know, since Lisa and I are stuck here, 327 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,483 maybe you should move up here with us. 328 00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,276 Great idea, great idea. 329 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,028 What the heck? Bring Bart. 330 00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:48,322 No way. I can't move to Canada. 331 00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,032 I revere this country. 332 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:53,494 Really? The last vote you cast was for Quisp. 333 00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:55,162 And I won. 334 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:58,540 Maybe we could find a way to sneak out. I snuck in. 335 00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,918 You do what you want. I'm not leaving. 336 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,005 Okay. You win, Lisa. 337 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,299 Looks like we're gonna be here together. 338 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,343 But there's one thing I need you to do. 339 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:12,513 Take one last look at the country you left behind 340 00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:15,099 and focus on anything good about it. 341 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,768 You're right. America's like a great boyfriend 342 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:20,521 that maybe got a little fat and lost a little hair. 343 00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:24,233 What does that have to do with anything? Just go. 344 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,361 Goodbye, USA. 345 00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:29,530 I feel like we did the best we could. 346 00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,365 And we can still be friends. 347 00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:35,035 Okay, now I'm gonna focus on the good things that you've got. 348 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:39,248 ("Battle Hymn of the Republic" playing) 349 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,834 (trumpets) 350 00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,211 Abe Lincoln... Dumbo... 351 00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:47,339 Aretha Franklin, Eleanor Roosevelt, 352 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,926 Seabiscuit, the computer that won on Jeopardy! 353 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,679 WATSON: What is "We miss you, Lisa"? 354 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:55,597 (gasps) Judy Blume. 355 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,516 Oh, I own all your books. 356 00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:59,893 I know, I read my royalty reports. 357 00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:02,062 Having awkward new feelings for your country-- 358 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,522 it's normal, Lisa. 359 00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:06,150 (whispering): And you're one of my favorite readers. 360 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:07,776 Welcome home, Lisa. 361 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,695 Well, I haven't decided yet. 362 00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:12,197 Hello, Lisa. 363 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,743 -Louis Armstrong. -Yeah. And I'm mighty tired 364 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,454 of having to keep appearing in your fantasies. 365 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:20,080 Get your ass back over here. 366 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,790 Yes, sir, Satchmo. 367 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,752 America ain't perfect, but it's my job to make it better. 368 00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,086 See you soon. 369 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:29,173 (laughs) 370 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:31,383 What are you going over there for? 371 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,344 It's legal now. 372 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,930 -WATSON: What is "Pass the Dutch"? -(Seabiscuit neighs) 373 00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,557 (Dumbo trumpets) 374 00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,270 Psst, Mom. 375 00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:45,105 Psst. I want to go home. 376 00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,899 Oh, finally. 377 00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,610 We're out of this hellhole. 378 00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:51,236 Who made my bed? 379 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,072 Least I could do. 380 00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:04,625 (French accent): We will get you across the river. 381 00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:07,920 Nous allons vous faire traverser la rivière. 382 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:11,215 God, it wastes so must time saying everything twice. 383 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:17,179 I feel so relieved to have finally made up my mind. 384 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:19,264 (scraping, cracking) 385 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:22,726 Ooh. We must ditch our excess cargo. 386 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,603 -You two. -(Marge and Lisa gasp) 387 00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:27,856 You're abandoning us in the middle of a frozen river? 388 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,151 Wow, Canadians really can be jerks. 389 00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,153 Yes, for every Martin Short, 390 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,322 there is no shortage of Shatners. 391 00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:38,075 (evil French laughter) 392 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,537 Hope you wash up on a shore you like! 393 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,622 (evil French laughter fading) 394 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,752 (car horn honks) 395 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,088 -Homie! -Dad! 396 00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,383 Guess who's here to save the day. 397 00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,304 Why did you get a truck so big? 398 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,306 It's the smallest one Detroit makes. 399 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,684 (ice rumbling) 400 00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:06,019 How will we get in? 401 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:09,356 I know one place where there's always plenty of room. 402 00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,441 ("America the Beautiful" playing) 403 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,241 I missed you, Krusty Burger where there's only 404 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:20,784 one thing I can eat. 405 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:23,370 I missed you, pony I had for a week. 406 00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:26,957 I missed you, snarky comic book seller. 407 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,375 Thanks for nothing. 408 00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:32,337 I missed you, nuclear ash that looks like snow. 409 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:35,549 I missed you, mixed martial arts megachurch. 410 00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:37,217 I missed you, Ralph. 411 00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:38,552 You were gone? 412 00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:40,095 (school bell rings) 413 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,889 Now can we do Duddy Kravitz? 414 00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:43,807 No, we're gonna watch an episode 415 00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:46,101 -of The Beachcombers. -Oh. 416 00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:55,652 For my show and tell, 417 00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:58,405 I brought something from my trip to Canada. 418 00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:00,032 (horse whinnies) 419 00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:01,575 What did you do this week, sir? 420 00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:04,411 Well, a Japanese tourist took pictures of me, 421 00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:06,914 I fed my horse an apple, and I found 422 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:10,584 a very interesting man hiding in Medicine Hat. 423 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:13,253 -Papa. -Hey, Nelson, good news. 424 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:16,048 You've got a brother in Fort McMurray. 425 00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,926 -What's his name? -How would I know? 426 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,345 ("O, Canada" playing) 427 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,093 Shh! 428 00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:05,973 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH