1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,419 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:04,504 (chuckles) 3 00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,886 (exclaims) 4 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,019 (school bell rings) 5 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,188 (belches) 6 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,273 (tires screech) 7 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,235 D'oh! 8 00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:28,778 (grunts) 9 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,114 (applause) 10 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:32,866 (stammers): You sit on me. 11 00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:34,617 There's a remote in my crack. 12 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,202 Uh, Problems I Have! 13 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,038 I could use a slip cover. 14 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,873 Um, uh, Things Your Sister Would Say! 15 00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:41,708 No. Uh... (gasps) 16 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:44,210 You haven't replaced me since 1989. 17 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,129 Things a Couch Would Say! 18 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:48,715 -Yes! -(bell dinging) 19 00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:50,800 ♪ ♪ 20 00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:58,600 Hopefully, we won't be out too late, Shauna. 21 00:00:58,683 --> 00:00:59,934 (Valley girl accent): Whatever. 22 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,102 And just for the night, 23 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,729 could you lose the tongue ring? 24 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,230 Whatever. 25 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:07,150 Homer, is it too late to change babysitters? 26 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,234 Yes. 27 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,944 So I'll have to stay home. 28 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,530 I don't think we have to... Homer. 29 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,115 Yes, Marge? 30 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:17,702 We both have to go to Drug Awareness Night. 31 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,371 (sighs) I guess we have no choice. 32 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,999 Here's the number for the poison control center, 33 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,834 the allergy hotline, 34 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,920 and, if the kids misbehave, 35 00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:28,588 Papa John's Pizza. 36 00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:30,048 Don't worry, Mrs. Simpson. 37 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,800 We'll take great care of your kids. 38 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:32,967 "We"? 39 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,427 Uh, me and God. 40 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,678 Okay, then. 41 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,764 We'll see you soon. 42 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:43,937 (moaning) 43 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:46,981 Want to watch videos of pythons swallowing stuff? 44 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,901 Uh, can't we watch something with kittens? 45 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,736 Oh, there's kittens in there. 46 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,404 (kitten meows) 47 00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:57,909 This is pointless. 48 00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:00,578 We learned all the new dangerous drugs last year: 49 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,289 sprack, zup, borzo, and crystal bam. 50 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,959 I hear they're mixing bam with zup. 51 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,127 Interesting. 52 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,587 Bam and zup. (chuckles) 53 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,923 This seminar's already paying for itself. 54 00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:14,425 Homer Simpson, are you watching football 55 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,261 through your pants pocket? 56 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:20,181 But do you know how much love is lost between these teams? 57 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,349 None. 58 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,768 Turn it off. 59 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:26,146 This bag of concentrated death 60 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:29,399 is what the kids today call "blizzard." 61 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,942 Allow me to demonstrate... 62 00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:33,111 on Skin-ner! 63 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:35,613 Superintendent, I... I must protest. 64 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,949 I'm an educational professional who... 65 00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:40,201 -(grunting) -That's a good boy. 66 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,327 Take your medicine. 67 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:42,412 (inhales, sighs) 68 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,622 Oh, let's get out of here. 69 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,667 I guess we can watch the PowerPoint presentation 70 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,002 in bed tonight. 71 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:51,171 Oh, that sounds magical. 72 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,548 (quietly): Just don't be conspicuous. 73 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,301 (phone rings) 74 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:57,343 Ooh, it's Lenny. 75 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,345 Homer, I found my birth mom! 76 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,848 Her name is Cheryl, and she wants nothing to do with... 77 00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:03,391 (Marge groans) 78 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:07,061 (gasps) A wedding expo. 79 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,480 Marge, there is no way I'd ever be interested in-- 80 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,065 Is there a girl in that cake? 81 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,734 No, just cake. 82 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:15,236 Oh... that is so sexy. 83 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,571 After you, Marge. 84 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:19,240 Ooh, a wedding expo. 85 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:22,410 It's like going to a thousand weddings at once. 86 00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:26,414 Sneaking in will be the most romantic thing we've ever done. 87 00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:27,999 More than our real wedding? 88 00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,834 A thousand times more. 89 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:33,087 I was pregnant and you had a fever of 103. 90 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,673 103.4. 91 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,509 Aw, you remembered. 92 00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:42,931 (Homer mumbles) 93 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,685 ("Allegro Non Molto" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons playing) 94 00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:53,191 (sniffles) It's so beautiful. 95 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,525 (sniffles) Oh. 96 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,695 Even the prenups are gorgeous. 97 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,699 (techno music playing) 98 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,701 Your bride will look radiant 99 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,954 next to these hideous bridesmaids dresses 100 00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:08,289 made in colors known to scare seagulls. 101 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,625 Oh, so beautiful! 102 00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:12,126 Come back here, you. 103 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,545 You've got 12 more drugs to test. 104 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:18,341 I both see and am God. 105 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,135 (suspenseful music playing) 106 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,888 Who will protect me when you die? 107 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:27,308 -Nothing's gonna happen to... -(grunts) 108 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,060 Does this house have a mixer? 109 00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:30,645 We could make face cookies. 110 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,313 (chuckles) 111 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:35,316 Aw! You're gonna make such a good dad. 112 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,069 (moaning) 113 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:39,904 (groans) I feel like a walk. 114 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,572 You want to take a walk? 115 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,909 I feel glued to my seat for reasons I don't understand. 116 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,411 It's all over, sweetheart. 117 00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:47,912 The curse is broken. 118 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,456 Grandma will take care of you from now o... 119 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,458 -(groans) -(buzzing) 120 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:53,543 Aah! 121 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:56,004 Come on. 122 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:58,965 (Shauna giggling) 123 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,591 JIMBO: Let's see if we can both fit 124 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,343 in Homer's underwear. 125 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,137 This is very sobering. 126 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,764 Why did we think this would be cool? 127 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,599 What are you kids doing out so late? 128 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,560 Babysitter party at our house. 129 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,729 Why don't you come inside for a mug of cocoa? 130 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,439 -(ding) -Coco-nut, that is, 131 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:17,108 to fill your belly with much-needed potassium. 132 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:18,109 (chuckles): Grins, people. 133 00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,110 Thanks. 134 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,653 Potassi-yum. 135 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,030 This was a great idea. 136 00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:24,115 It's like all the fun of a wedding 137 00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:26,034 without the boredom of a wedding. 138 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:28,119 And who are you two? 139 00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:29,787 Um, why, we're... 140 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,331 wedding planners. 141 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:34,167 Yes, and we're wondering about your products. 142 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,377 (giggles) For our clients. 143 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:40,131 Well, the Toast Master is an AI-powered microphone 144 00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:42,550 that guarantees your best man's toast 145 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:45,053 will be heartwarming and tasteful, 146 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:48,473 no matter how drunk or passive-aggressive he is. 147 00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:50,224 Ooh. Give it a try, Homie. 148 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:51,809 Oh, I couldn't. 149 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,395 Pretend one of my sisters is getting married. 150 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,397 That hairy-legged ashtray? 151 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,815 Give me the mic. 152 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,984 When I heard a guy was marrying Selma, 153 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,986 -I thought, That poor... -MALE VOICE: Genius. 154 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,821 -...must be... -Fully sighted. 155 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,323 -...and... -Not marrying her 156 00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:06,407 to harvest her organs. 157 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,742 (laughs) 158 00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:09,160 Thank God. The Heffernans. 159 00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:10,745 Oh, right. That's me. 160 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,497 D.R. Heffernan. 161 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,165 -(quietly): That's "Doctor." -Right. 162 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,750 Dr. D.R. Heffernan. 163 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:17,585 The keynote speech is in two minutes. 164 00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:20,838 -What's a keynote speech? -(chuckles) 165 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:24,258 Imagine Dr. Heffernan asking me what a keynote speech is. 166 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,343 This way. 167 00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:27,178 Finally, things are looking up 168 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,430 for the person I'm pretending to be. 169 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:30,848 (laughing) 170 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,518 And the number-one new wedding trend is... 171 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,520 True love! 172 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:38,606 AUDIENCE: True love! True love! 173 00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:41,442 -True Love! -Buy our book if we have one. 174 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:44,404 I'm starting to think that's not Dr. Heffernan. 175 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,449 (moaning) 176 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,076 (chuckles) What a... 177 00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:52,870 (moans) ...perfect night. 178 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,872 You wait here while I go... 179 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:58,626 (seductively): pay the babysitter. 180 00:06:58,709 --> 00:06:59,836 -(laughing) -(loud music playing) 181 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,212 I'm not paying you! 182 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,131 Get out of my house! 183 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,468 -Later. -And now, my lady, to the boudoir, 184 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,638 which I believe is somewhere near the bedroom. 185 00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:13,391 (chuckles): Ooh! Ooh. 186 00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:15,810 (grunts) Have I picked you up yet? 187 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,645 I can't te... Oh! 188 00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:18,980 (strained): You're so light. 189 00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:20,481 (grunting) 190 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,650 -Ow! -(inhales deeply) 191 00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:23,985 (strained): Perfect end to... 192 00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:25,945 perfect night. 193 00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:28,156 Voulez-vous coucher avec... 194 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,158 -(cracking, popping) -(screams) 195 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,576 (grunting) 196 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:34,245 -What the... (shouting) -Ow! 197 00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,664 (both groaning) 198 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:39,250 I guess we should stop listening now. 199 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,335 No one's making you stay. 200 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:48,009 Marge, I'm afraid your days of walking are over. 201 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:49,177 Oh, my God! 202 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,012 For about 36 hours. 203 00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:53,598 By then, this mild ankle sprain should be good as new. 204 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,266 It's my fault. 205 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:58,603 Homie wouldn't have dropped me if I hadn't put on a few pounds. 206 00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:01,606 Nonsense. It's not your fault you're married to a... 207 00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:03,483 this. 208 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,234 (moans) 209 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,778 And it was such a good date night. 210 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,864 Well, now it's a hernia morning. 211 00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:12,241 See, you've got a tear in your abdominal wall 212 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,785 and a section of your intestine has pushed through. 213 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,662 Aren't you going to chuckle? 214 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,873 An inguinal hernia is no laughing matter. 215 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:20,082 (chuckles) 216 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,292 "Inguinal." 217 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,127 Will I need surgery? 218 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,587 Possibly. But don't be alarmed. 219 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,964 It's just some scalpel work around your scrotum. 220 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,674 (groans) 221 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,177 -(engine revs, tires screech) -A little more. 222 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:32,929 -(engine revs, tires screech) -Little more. 223 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:35,097 -(engine revs, tires screech) -Little more... 224 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,766 No, those are the wipers. 225 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,268 Oh, you just called OnStar. 226 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,270 Now, look, you two, you're not kids anymore. 227 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,272 Listen to your body. It'll tell you what to do. 228 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,525 (engine revs, tires screech) 229 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:46,651 WOMAN: OnStar operator. 230 00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,110 What is your emergency? 231 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,446 Every comedian I thought is funny 232 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,073 is dead. 233 00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:55,701 ♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show! ♪ 234 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,870 Hmm. "Possible side effects 235 00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:00,122 may include hallucinations..." 236 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,208 (angrily): ...mm, "irritability, 237 00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:06,546 inability to fo... cus." 238 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,798 Blah, blah, blah. 239 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,550 "Do not mix with alcohol"? 240 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,385 Fine, I'll drink it separately. 241 00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:14,136 Boy, get me a beer. 242 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,765 -(Bart humming) -(grunting) 243 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,850 -Huh? What are you doing? -(chuckles) 244 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:20,893 Helping you get better. 245 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,186 I was watching Animal Planet, 246 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,980 and they said, if it can't reach its own food, 247 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,481 the hippo dies. 248 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,857 Why, you little...! 249 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,359 (chuckles) 250 00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,820 Bart, honey, your father and I need you 251 00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:32,822 to be a little more grown-up. 252 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:34,031 Can you do that? 253 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:35,366 I bet you can. 254 00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:37,243 You got it, Mom. 255 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,287 Hmm? Hmm? 256 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,413 Hmm. 257 00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:41,956 (humming a tune) 258 00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:45,084 Honey, I signed us up for physical therapy this afternoon. 259 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,669 They sound terrific. 260 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,296 Even booking the appointment, 261 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,256 they told me, "Great job." 262 00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:51,591 Absolutely. 263 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:52,717 I want to get better. 264 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,135 I really do. 265 00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:55,219 I know you do. 266 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,054 We'll start tomorrow. 267 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,683 MALE VOICE: I would caution against physical therapy. 268 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:03,811 Guys like us don't look good in shorts. 269 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,147 HOMER: What the... 270 00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:09,066 Oh, why is it never hair growth? 271 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,694 It's me, your hernia. 272 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:14,864 Homer, your doctor told you to listen to your body. 273 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,115 And I am telling you 274 00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:18,451 just take it easy. 275 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:19,452 Are you sure? 276 00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,370 I just promised Marge. 277 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,706 Take it from your hernia. 278 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,374 (giggles) 279 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,376 (Marge grunting) 280 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,378 (New Zealand accent): Oh, you've got this, Marge! 281 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,088 Now, focus on your co-ah. 282 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,716 I guess I've been neglecting my key-aah. 283 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,384 Is it this? 284 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,720 No. All I can say is, if you have a muscle 285 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:41,223 and you know what it does, then that is not the co-ah. 286 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,725 Oh, the core. 287 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,477 Right, that's what I said: co-ah. 288 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:47,396 Now, what sports are we gettin' you ready for, Marge? 289 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,482 Rollerblading? Uh, Muay Thai? 290 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,734 No, nothing like that. 291 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,736 I only have to be in good enough shape 292 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:57,490 to take care of an immobile 240-pound man. 293 00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,241 Ah, so Homer isn't coming, eh? 294 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,327 You know, I could go to him at work. 295 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,954 Oh, he's got enough stress at work. 296 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,084 All right, well, we'll get you into something. 297 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,086 Uh, mountain biking? Free bouldering? 298 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:14,757 I got it. Marge, we are going to get you kitesurfing. 299 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,092 Kitesurfing? 300 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,177 I could do that with Homie. 301 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,183 (alarm blares) 302 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,644 You know what? 303 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,438 I'm not letting Homer drag me down this time. 304 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,358 Yes, I want to learn kitesurfing. 305 00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:33,984 ♪ Let's go kitesurfing now ♪ 306 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,361 ♪ Middle-aged ladies learning how ♪ 307 00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,780 ♪ Come on Kitesurf-ari with me... ♪ 308 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,198 Kitesurfing's a simple sport. 309 00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,450 All you need is the wind and the waves. 310 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:45,246 And a spreader-bar, bindings, impact vest, chicken loop, 311 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,456 donkey stick, squirrel clip, and, of course, parking pass. 312 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:51,627 Yeah, ruining people's day at the beach. 313 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,630 We are worse than sand in a hot dog, eh, Lou? 314 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,298 You know there's a double murder downtown. 315 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:59,301 Well, now it's a triple, 'cause you just killed my day. 316 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,636 Keep the kite swooping, Marge. 317 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,638 Follow the timing of my pecs. 318 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,640 Left, right, left, right, 319 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,016 left, left, right... 320 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,060 Ah. Don't look me in the eyes, Marge. 321 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,562 My pecs are down here. 322 00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:10,813 There you are. 323 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:13,232 Left, right, left, left, right... 324 00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:16,902 So, Mom is kitesurfing 325 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,238 while Dad is eating three desserts. 326 00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:22,408 Oh, your grandma and I had our differences, 327 00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:26,662 but we stopped arguing when she disappeared for three decades. 328 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,080 Oh. 329 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,249 Oh, it's so nice 330 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,251 to get an evening out just with you. 331 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:33,753 Can I get you a baby chair? 332 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,171 No? You're good? 333 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,589 Homer's-a talking to nobody. 334 00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,758 The Cat Lady is eating with cats. 335 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,843 Ralph is in-a the lobster tank? 336 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,845 I'm expensive. 337 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,680 Homer, you're doing great. 338 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,516 Look at those guys-- eating half portions, 339 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,518 trying to stay fit. 340 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,354 They're just setting themselves up to meet my buddies 341 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,691 Torn ACL and Pinched Nerve. 342 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,276 Now, you-- you're smart. 343 00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:59,570 The most strenuous thing you're gonna do 344 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:02,531 is fart "The Star-Spangled Banner." 345 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,700 Mm, that's got a difficult range. 346 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,619 Is there an easier anthem? 347 00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:10,748 Hey, the riskiest thing we're gonna do is have lasagna. 348 00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:12,875 We just had lasagna. 349 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,084 Have it again! 350 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,586 Nobody's gonna stop you. 351 00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:17,463 I love you. 352 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,217 Who are you? 353 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,969 Cirrhosis. What's it to ya? 354 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,892 Homer, I'm going to the beach. 355 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,269 I packed lunch for two if you want to come. 356 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:33,646 Oh, the beach. 357 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:35,898 Sure. Let's get sunstroke, 358 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,983 a hyperextended tendon, 359 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,570 and wrap it up by getting decapitated by a Frisbee. 360 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,447 Hard pass. 361 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,574 Sorry, Marge. Hard pass. 362 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:49,119 (sighs) It's been so long since you made a move on me. 363 00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:50,746 Or any move. 364 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,249 Um, how about if I drone you a kiss? 365 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:54,542 (kiss) 366 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,129 (horn honks) 367 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,631 Hurry up, Marge. 368 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,508 We're gonna catch big air all morning, 369 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:05,511 sleep all afternoon, then boil a sheep for breakfast. 370 00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:07,596 I'm still on New Zealand time. 371 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,140 Been here 12 years but can't shake it. 372 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,935 Please, Homer, you're my husband. 373 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:15,104 Get up and live. 374 00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:17,606 Sorry, Marge. I got to go with my gut. 375 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,525 -(yawns) -(blows raspberry) 376 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:25,406 If you don't come after me, there's a big problem. 377 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,617 The drone doesn't count. 378 00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:36,792 Hey. Can you watch the kids this afternoon? 379 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,502 Sorry, Marge. 380 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,837 Hernia. 381 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,797 We make quite a team. 382 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,549 Who are you talking to? 383 00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,759 Hey, I do not have voices in my head. 384 00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:47,511 (quietly): They're in my crotch. 385 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,179 -(giggles) -Ooh! 386 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:52,266 Just call my sisters to watch the kids. 387 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:55,352 (snoring) 388 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:56,812 Let's drop him in the woods 389 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,814 and see if he can find his way back. 390 00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,446 Our parents are drifting apart. 391 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:08,032 And as much as I don't enjoy doing this, 392 00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:10,534 I need the advice of the only couple we know 393 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,536 that seems to like each other. 394 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,204 I'm stuck with you. 395 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,624 Relationships are simple, really. 396 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:19,209 Like, if Shauna's best friend Tiffany comes on to me, 397 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,794 I make out with Shauna, 398 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,130 but I pretend it's her friend. 399 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,214 Aw. 400 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:25,466 (moaning) 401 00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,468 Tiffany. Oh, yeah. 402 00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:28,802 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 403 00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:31,221 Guys. Guys, guys, guys. Let's focus! 404 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,264 Focus. 405 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,308 Please give me something useful. 406 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:36,977 Okay. Your parents have just got to find 407 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,979 something they both like doing. 408 00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:40,981 Like, I like laughing at losers. 409 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,567 And I make losers happen. 410 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,320 -(grunts) -(laughing) 411 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:48,572 (moaning) 412 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,616 (gasps) Common interests! 413 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,117 Of course. 414 00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:57,164 TV ANNOUNCER: Back now to live coverage 415 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,959 of Little XII college golf on ESPN-D3-2, 416 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:03,170 your second home for Division III sports. 417 00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:05,172 Dad, can you drive us down to the beach? 418 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,967 I have a school project on... sea turtles. 419 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,052 Don't listen to them. 420 00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,138 You can see me? 421 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:15,391 It's always the babies. 422 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:22,439 Hey. Where are the turtles? 423 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,650 There are no turtles, Homer. It's a trick. 424 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,569 These kids are trying to help you 'cause they love you. 425 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,823 So there never were turtles? 426 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,116 No turtles! 427 00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:33,450 I'm starting to think 428 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,828 there were no turtles. 429 00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,621 (gasps) Marge. 430 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,457 She looks so beautiful. 431 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,376 I've been such a fool. 432 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:45,671 And you forgot to get a parking pass. Heh. 433 00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:47,756 Our work is done, Lou. 434 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,509 (shudders): Oh... 435 00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:59,226 I'll never let myself go like that. 436 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,228 I'm-a comin', Marge! 437 00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:04,189 Ew! Gross! 438 00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:08,110 Homer, you're making me mad. 439 00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:10,571 And if there's one thing you don't want to aggravate, 440 00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,614 it's a hernia! 441 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,829 I'm Marge's husband, Homer. 442 00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:20,706 Homer. Good-o! 443 00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:22,708 Would you like me to rehab you at work? 444 00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,252 I could come right to you. Same price. 445 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:28,422 Maybe. But now I need your biggest, fastest kite. 446 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:29,673 -The Widdamaka? -What? 447 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,508 Can you say that without an accent? 448 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,594 -(without accent): The Widowmaker. -Oh, that's scary! 449 00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:35,637 -Back to the accent. -The Widdamaka. 450 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:36,930 I'll take it. 451 00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,849 When I got married, I took a vow: 452 00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:40,434 "Something, something, something 453 00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,436 till death something." 454 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,441 (yelps) 455 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:49,276 Homer! Rooster your gimbal! 456 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:50,527 Rooster your gimbal! 457 00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,029 What does that mean?! 458 00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:53,489 Pull the rope! 459 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,617 The other rope. 460 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,621 Homie! 461 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,206 You came for me! 462 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,208 And I'll never leave you. 463 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,418 Except right now when the wind blows me 464 00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,087 (fading): God knows where.... 465 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,464 They're headed for a wind farm! 466 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,342 (both gasp) 467 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:16,053 BOTH: Whoa...! 468 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:17,304 (kiss) 469 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,889 Whoa...! 470 00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:19,932 (kiss) 471 00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:22,184 Whoa...! 472 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,649 (New England accent): Well, Mother, looks like we caught 473 00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,609 a couple more kiteboarders. 474 00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:33,487 -I'll get the big ladder. -I'll tell the hospital 475 00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:36,657 their power's gonna be down for a while. 476 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,744 Strong woman, I love you. 477 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:43,497 (exhales) And I love you. 478 00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:46,583 And never again will I listen to a doctor. 479 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,752 Wait, that's not the takeaway. 480 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,963 Takeaway? That's a good idea. 481 00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,840 Yello? Pizza Palace? 482 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,842 Can I get a Henry the Eight-Inch Pizza 483 00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,176 with extra meat? 484 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,512 And a side of chocolate cheesy bread? 485 00:18:58,595 --> 00:18:59,680 No such thing. 486 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:02,266 -Can you make it anyways? -(groans) 487 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:06,854 Chief, I've got to make dinner for my kids. Could you please 488 00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:10,065 -tell me what this is about? -Like most physical therapists 489 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:14,403 in America, this man is actually a Russian spy. 490 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,738 Nigel is a spy? 491 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,198 Dimitri Nigelovonovitch. 492 00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,534 Did you ever wonder why he was so interested 493 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:22,578 in seeing your husband at work? 494 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,913 I thought it was close to his house. 495 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,833 Didn't you ever ask yourself how a beach bum like him 496 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:31,295 could afford a top-of-the-line 2007 Saturn SUV 497 00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:33,297 with a full spare tire? 498 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,340 I guess I didn't want to know. 499 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:39,720 Just thank God, thank God your husband is entrapping him now. 500 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,474 Homer, I just need a few pictures of... 501 00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,226 the co-ah. 502 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,187 -The what? -Goo-ah. 503 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:51,064 -The car? -Goo-ah. 504 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:53,025 Like a crow? Caw? 505 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,735 Co-ahr-car? 506 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:57,988 (Russian accent): Damn it. Show me your reactor core. 507 00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,073 All units, move in! 508 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:06,538 ("Theme from Mission: Impossible" playing) 509 00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:16,965 ♪ ♪ 510 00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:11,103 Shh! 511 00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:15,983 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH