1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:06,214
辛普森家庭

2
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:09,801
（食物金字塔，都很難吃）

3
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,144
你應該很好奇我怎麼這麼累吧

4
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:20,145
並沒有

5
00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:23,898
我昨天熬夜看了法文發音的法國電影

6
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:27,694
結果晚上做的夢也是法文的

7
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,946
我只希望你快點走開

8
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,323
（牛奶）

9
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:33,575
麗莎辛普森

10
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:36,119
身處乏味學校的聰明少女

11
00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:39,456
她喜歡簽字筆在考卷上打滿分的聲音

12
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,957
（小考，麗莎辛普森，甲上）

13
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:45,628
她熱愛全新簧片的木頭甜味

14
00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:49,340
但她最討厭的

15
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,468
就是午餐時在食堂找座位

16
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:53,720
（牛奶）

17
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:08,735
這是什麼？你很快就會知道了

18
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,361
說實在，我這旁白沒什麼屁用

19
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:11,988
（小賈畢爾里）

20
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,536
＂小賈畢爾里＂

21
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:21,915
是賈斯伯

22
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:26,127
突然間，這所爛學校出現了一個謎團

23
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,922
與此同時，荷馬這輩子頭一遭…

24
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,091
將在廚房裡大失所望

25
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:33,051
天啊，是剩菜

26
00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:35,637
空氣，什麼都沒有，又是空氣

27
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:37,597
空的，空氣

28
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:40,225
不是義大利麵，不是肉卷，沒有辣醬

29
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:43,853
沒有乳酪通心粉，這裡總該有食物吧

30
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,524
是惡魔的樹

31
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,359
不

32
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,402
荷馬，你冷靜點　　　　好

33
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:54,656
我決定要當保鮮盒推銷員了

34
00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:55,698
保鮮盒？

35
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,617
所以你要找人辦派對

36
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,245
然後說服大家買裝食物的塑膠盒？

37
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:02,497
你自己也有用募資平台啊

38
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:03,790
如果有人願意付錢

39
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:06,584
讓我來趟中西部搖椅之旅

40
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,253
這樣人人都受益

41
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,421
我們很需要這筆收入

42
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,215
況且因為你引起配菜大戰

43
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:14,551
你的薪水目前還被扣押呢

44
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:16,261
拜託，荷馬

45
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,929
我想要開支票帳戶

46
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:20,557
這樣我們家就終於有支票帳戶了

47
00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:24,018
瑪姬，我不會讓太太出去拋頭露面的

48
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,896
以前男人不知哪根筋不對，都這樣說

49
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,523
你去吧

50
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:29,649
賈斯伯呢？

51
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:30,567
他又遲到了

52
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,609
我們可以先餵鳥

53
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:32,902
不要等他了

54
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,155
你該不會背著我自己餵過鳥吧？

55
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,781
你之前在昏迷

56
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,658
我的媽啊，我還錯過什麼事？

57
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,493
你不會喜歡現任總統的

58
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,036
不是伯尼嗎？

59
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,042
麗莎將賈斯伯的童年回憶交還給他

60
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:51,754
而她只想要感受助人的喜悅

61
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,048
賈斯伯

62
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,011
我的天啊

63
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,183
那是什麼？便當盒？

64
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,517
某人的骨灰？

65
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:05,810
蘋果機上盒？

66
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,021
再猜下去，我就得先打個盹了

67
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:09,564
六歲的時候

68
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:12,025
我為了分享課把藏寶盒帶到學校去

69
00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:14,402
結果被同學拿走，都沒有還我

70
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,529
現在居然出現在這裡

71
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:17,822
我這一生都憤恨不平

72
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:21,701
可是突然間，這世界變得好美妙

73
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,162
這輩子頭一次

74
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:28,541
麗莎有了無與倫比的感受

75
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,293
我不想老王賣瓜

76
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,795
但陽光似乎更為耀眼了

77
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,840
都要歸功於我

78
00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:38,468
保鮮盒？我想買

79
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,136
你不能直接買

80
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:43,598
你得辦派對，讓我向你的朋友們推銷

81
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,183
不要

82
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:47,936
你可以在你家辦派對，而我…

83
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:51,481
只要你朋友填好訂單，我們就…

84
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,651
你如果舉辦保鮮盒派對

85
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,486
就能得到獨家贈品

86
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,154
檸檬汁壺

87
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,781
太太，如果老天…

88
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:02,867
要我們把果汁裝在塑膠瓶裡

89
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:06,162
祂就不會把負鼠膀胱做成防水的了

90
00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:09,582
（儀容宛在髮廊）

91
00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:13,086
瑪姬，你像是頭髮分岔的悲傷無底洞

92
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:14,295
怎麼了？

93
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,256
我一個保鮮盒派對都沒辦成

94
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,341
我怎麼會以為自己辦得到呢？

95
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:19,550
我沒有…

96
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,844
＂膽識＂的希伯來語要怎麼講？

97
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,638
你是說你沒有自信？

98
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:26,432
我真的沒有，我都挑爛煎餅吃

99
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,019
我總是忙著注意大家有沒有防曬

100
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,187
（請擦腳）自己卻曬傷了

101
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:35,525
你跟腳踏墊一樣，關鍵就藏在底下

102
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,111
什麼？　　　　你知道嗎？

103
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,196
我幫你辦個保鮮盒派對

104
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,282
但我需要一點時間來籌備

105
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:43,741
今晚可以嗎？　　　　沒問題

106
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,369
你在搞什麼鬼？

107
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,495
那是放雞尾酒的

108
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,622
上面這個是放剩下的千層麵

109
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:52,834
什麼？哪有剩下的千層麵這種事？

110
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,877
你還是去老莫運動酒吧好了

111
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,255
去就去，但我可不會喝醉

112
00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,758
好吧，親愛的，我會乖乖喝個爛醉

113
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,011
我清醒著可受不了你

114
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:05,930
我辦不到

115
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,099
我辦不到　　　　辦不到？

116
00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,935
瑪姬，我不想聽到…

117
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:13,104
你說出這麼可恥的話

118
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:16,733
你得展現你神力女超人的一面

119
00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:18,234
我又不是神力女超人

120
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,361
那我們就得創造出來

121
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,030
大改造時間到

122
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,241
要開始了

123
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,452
想著要變美美的

124
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,168
把你腳上穿的鬼東西脫掉，換這雙

125
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,465
我的身材比例整個都變了

126
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:44,344
後面這個是什麼？

127
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:48,723
看吧，你的肥臀變翹臀了，寶貝

128
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,935
現在快出去推銷吧

129
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,564
（保鮮盒派對，檸檬派對）

130
00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,066
胡利歐，這是什麼？

131
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,276
我可不想聽推銷員鬼扯

132
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,904
我只想要吃點開胃菜

133
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:05,198
小酌一番，吸吸笑氣

134
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:07,784
男士們，你們好

135
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,911
看來你們都看到好貨了

136
00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:13,664
我跟各位保證，裡裡外外包君滿意

137
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,088
你應該跟我們說

138
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,382
這是變裝皇后辦的保鮮盒派對

139
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:25,218
他是我見過最像女人的男人

140
00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:29,389
對啊，＂他＂非常專業

141
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,391
他自稱是＂瑪姬＂

142
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:32,892
太棒了

143
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:33,851
＂瑪姬＂

144
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,813
她要是再更搞笑，就會變小丑了

145
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:40,650
男士們，我們來玩尺寸猜猜樂吧

146
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,656
你本來還想去跳舞呢

147
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,911
好了，這就是瑪姬馬丁尼

148
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:55,873
別擔心，我還身懷很多絕活呢

149
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,125
她真幽默

150
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,251
跟碧雅瑟一樣？

151
00:06:58,334 --> 00:06:59,877
誰都比不上碧雅瑟

152
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,005
當晚，瑪姬賣出的保鮮盒數量

153
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,549
超乎她的想像

154
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,260
而想看好戲的我

155
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:09,554
也開始當起了她的故事的旁白

156
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,139
你看看這疊訂單

157
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,807
我真厲害

158
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,976
這個嘛

159
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:17,395
真正厲害的是＂瑪姬＂

160
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:18,855
對啊，瑪姬，是我

161
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:19,981
我就是瑪姬

162
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,442
好吧，我告訴你是怎麼一回事

163
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:26,404
這非常重要，所以我就不用口音講了

164
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,156
大家都以為你是變裝皇后

165
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:32,827
我覺得自己閃耀動人

166
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,705
結果大家從頭到尾都以為我是男的

167
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:38,749
一個看起來像絕世美人的男人

168
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,960
變裝皇后也能美艷迷人的

169
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:42,753
你看看我

170
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,256
我自稱潘妮洛普魔女

171
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:47,091
我陪伯恩斯先生…

172
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,218
出席了甘迺迪中心獎晚宴

173
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,887
你看我有多漂亮

174
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,890
伯恩斯先生要求女伴都要輸血給他

175
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,766
我現在終於明白他為何會說

176
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,310
我是他最愛的那一型

177
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:58,853
你懂嗎？

178
00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:01,564
下一次我只要做我自己就好了

179
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:04,817
但那就是展現自信的你

180
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,569
別再安慰我了

181
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,113
那真的是你…

182
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:13,201
況且所有保鮮盒銷售王都是變裝皇后

183
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,119
什麼？怎麼可能？

184
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,704
（是真的）

185
00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:17,914
（請見以下網址）

186
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,666
（不相信我們嗎？請見更多網址）

187
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:21,959
怎麼樣，瑪姬？

188
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,211
你願不願意豁出去？

189
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,337
去吧，瑪姬

190
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,089
表裡不一又有什麼關係？

191
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,799
我應該要用來裝午餐點心

192
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,719
但大家都拿我來裝大麻

193
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,763
而我是用來裝麵包的

194
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,682
你賣保鮮盒會賺到的大筆鈔票

195
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:37,433
（咖啡）

196
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:39,727
你剛剛跟那個碗擊掌嗎？

197
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:42,605
裝傻就好，瑪姬

198
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:46,108
荷馬，想吃什麼就點，我請客

199
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,860
隨你點

200
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:50,905
好，我需要兩份菜單和四張桌子

201
00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:52,365
幫我把餐具收走

202
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:53,491
這些東西太礙事了

203
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:55,493
我知道了…我需要幫忙

204
00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:58,120
找人去賓果廳叫媽媽回來

205
00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,122
我馬上就到

206
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,041
但你只差一個字母

207
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:05,086
你應該學學麵疙瘩

208
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:06,712
不要講話

209
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,716
瑪姬，謝謝你

210
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,177
謝了，我覺得好幸福

211
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,054
原來真的有這種東西

212
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:19,976
剩下的千層麵

213
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,066
（你在餐廳吃光了）

214
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:27,775
（昨天的荷馬敬上）

215
00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:29,360
慘了

216
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:32,238
麗莎還能感覺到一絲無與倫比

217
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:35,783
但助人的美好感受慢慢消逝

218
00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:36,659
於是她心想

219
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,161
何不偷偷為大家製造小確幸呢？

220
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,246
沒錯

221
00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:41,414
她的第一項任務

222
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:44,417
讓長得一模一樣的寇克和露安

223
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,835
重燃愛火

224
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:46,877
（庫斯提漢堡）

225
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:57,722
（帥哥，打給我，我是桑娜）

226
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:04,645
看來染鼻毛果然有效

227
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,482
接著麗莎決定幫春田市的臭鼬皮皮…

228
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:09,900
魅力欠佳的老格

229
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,944
先生，要拿一張嗎？

230
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,779
不，我想是不要

231
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,865
太太？下次再拿好了

232
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:18,367
拜託，我要發完才能領薪水

233
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,494
他們還會檢查垃圾桶，相信我

234
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,664
天啊，有人拿傳單了

235
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,752
我今晚睡車上可以開暖氣了

236
00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:34,675
霸子，快起來

237
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,177
我又需要你幫忙了

238
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,470
但麗莎最大的挑戰

239
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:40,097
是讓史金納太太對兒子重拾信心

240
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,767
所以麗莎假造了西蒙的日記

241
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,685
讓他們倆可以重修舊好

242
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,730
我得把這本假日記藏到史金納家裡

243
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,067
這是大門鑰匙，這是屋子的藍圖

244
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,318
還有鮪魚罐頭

245
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:54,195
我在養肥他家的貓

246
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,533
麗莎把日記藏在…

247
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,827
她確信史金納太太會找到的地方

248
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:04,705
那就是成年男子以為保有隱私的空間

249
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:05,956
（西蒙的日記，非禮勿視）

250
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,668
＂母親是個很偉大的女人＂

251
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,795
西蒙愛我

252
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:11,796
我的天啊

253
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,757
一位母親要如何為貶低兒子…

254
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,967
長達５０年道歉呢？

255
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:20,179
我先送一張禮品卡，臨死前再道歉

256
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:23,557
同時為了精益求精，提升銷售量

257
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,518
胡利歐帶瑪姬來到春田市…

258
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:27,103
最夯的變裝皇后俱樂部

259
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:29,772
這裡有最讓人困惑的洗手間標示

260
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:30,731
（洗手間）

261
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,109
瑪姬，這是香緹女王

262
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,319
芭芭拉史翠男

263
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:39,323
假面偉倫和費歐娜喉姊

264
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,617
你好，可愛小朋友

265
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,452
你是我見過最高的人…

266
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,121
你還沒站直呢

267
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:48,499
甜心，我是白天大男人，晚上俏佳人

268
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,000
懂嗎？

269
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:52,586
這就是你所需要的自信

270
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:56,340
祕訣就是想像出最有氣魄的自己

271
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,635
你就會明白那就是你

272
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,263
你是梅爾嗎？　　　　對

273
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:05,141
我把我頭上的骨頭貼在兩腿間

274
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:06,684
女王陛下

275
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,894
瑪姬能跟我們一起表演嗎？

276
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,147
甜心，我跟艾迪墨菲說過一樣的話

277
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,606
當然，有何不可？

278
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,860
跟我介紹一下＂瑪姬＂

279
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:16,861
她是怎樣的人？

280
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:19,488
這個嘛，她生活苦悶

281
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,575
有點像單親媽媽，就這樣

282
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:26,370
應該說她是個英雄，妹子

283
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,794
你是萬眾矚目的焦點

284
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,796
犀利的家庭主婦

285
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,800
甩開媽媽包袱，氣勢讓人臣服

286
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:44,096
你可以的，瑪姬，你比想像中堅強

287
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,806
挺起胸膛，盡情熱舞

288
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,475
挺起胸膛，一起來…

289
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:51,437
與香緹一同搖擺，藍色半屏山頭狂甩

290
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,731
展翅高飛吧

291
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,399
男人都說…

292
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:59,111
-女人可以擁有一切
-尤其是老二

293
00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:02,490
風情萬種，八面玲瓏

294
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,951
家務一把罩，保鮮盒賣到嚇嚇叫

295
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:10,539
女性表率就是她，人稱無敵超人媽

296
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:14,418
如此性感又可人，最會泡熱可可

297
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:17,004
且看醜藍鴨變天鵝

298
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:18,839
她就是俏麗佳人

299
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:24,261
與香緹一同搖擺，藍色半屏山頭狂甩

300
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:25,721
你好，海倫

301
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:29,099
你好，瑪姬，我聽說你在賣保鮮盒

302
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:30,851
家裡財務有點狀況？

303
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,270
你為什麼這麼刻薄，海倫？

304
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,982
是因為你老公寧願玩玩具火車

305
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,234
也不願跟你親熱嗎？

306
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,860
上車吧

307
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,362
海倫慢走不送

308
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:42,988
（麥片，麵包，罐頭）

309
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,573
你小心點，霸子

310
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,867
老媽現在可不好惹

311
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,411
（鹽味餅乾）

312
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:50,746
（威士忌）

313
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,207
真的嗎，母親？

314
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,125
你終於願意讓我上空手道課了？

315
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,253
我還會幫你買道服

316
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,004
我不用穿睡衣上課？

317
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,339
睡覺再穿就行了

318
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:04,051
你可以看完＂宅男行不行＂再上床

319
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:05,594
啊哈

320
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:06,595
一切都很順利

321
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:07,763
但就像＂少年謝爾頓＂

322
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,682
好景不常

323
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:13,102
（校長）

324
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:14,061
你好，母親

325
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:15,938
空手道比我想像中還好…

326
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:18,691
西蒙，我就知道這本日記是假的

327
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:19,650
（校長室）

328
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,151
你怎麼會知道？

329
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,696
西蒙從來都不用分號

330
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,073
他說他看了就想吐

331
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:28,868
我根本不寫日記的，我腦袋空空

332
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,787
這日記是我寫的，對不起

333
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,415
我這麼做是希望你能對兒子好一點

334
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,543
好一點？我把這廢物寵壞了

335
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,962
但我再也不會了

336
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,505
真的很抱歉

337
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:46,886
老天，這可憐的孩子

338
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:49,513
去安慰她，西蒙，送她滿分

339
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,891
教師工會禁止我鼓舞學生

340
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,560
最多只能送南瓜貼紙而已

341
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:57,104
你怎麼還有臉綁黃帶？

342
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,063
（老莫運動酒吧）

343
00:14:58,439 --> 00:14:59,607
大家快看

344
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,066
我靠老婆就能吃香喝辣

345
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,027
和梅莉史翠普的先生一樣

346
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,486
他叫唐恩古墨

347
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,697
荷馬，你知道瑪姬在做什麼嗎？

348
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:07,948
因為我們知道

349
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,034
我們到處講，就是不告訴你

350
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,493
就像真正的好朋友一樣

351
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,287
怎麼了？

352
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:16,498
如果你想知道真相，就到這個地址去

353
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:19,251
這是這間酒吧的地址　　　　沒錯

354
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:22,713
你先喝個爛醉，再到這個地址去

355
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,262
你好，你有在受邀名單上嗎？

356
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,973
參加保鮮盒派對還需要邀請函？

357
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:34,642
這個派對就需要

358
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:38,145
瑪姬就像唐娜李德加上唐娜桑瑪

359
00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:40,481
能夠解決任何食品保鮮的問題

360
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:43,317
聽說卸妝之後

361
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,403
瑪姬是個壯碩粗獷的猛男

362
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,656
我太太才不是壯碩粗獷的猛男

363
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,324
她連要打嗝都會離開房間

364
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,575
瑪姬

365
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:55,454
你沒告訴我你騙大家你是變裝皇后

366
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:57,206
你只不過是平凡的家庭主婦罷了

367
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,166
什麼？　　　　你只是想要獨立

368
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:02,836
現在我講出來，感覺不是什麼壞事

369
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,797
她不是變裝皇后

370
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,715
她都是裝的

371
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,676
女人什麼都想占為己有

372
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,719
真高興看到家家有本難念經

373
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,221
走吧，杜伊

374
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,848
在買到奶油盒前，我是不會走的

375
00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:16,433
你照照鏡子吧

376
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,606
孩子們，讓我們獨處一下

377
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:24,942
你可以留下

378
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,361
瑪裘莉，我並不完美

379
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:29,363
但我認為我有在進步

380
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:32,491
我接受蝙蝠俠一直換人演

381
00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:35,285
我現在相信貓咪跟狗應該同工同酬

382
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,954
我不想要聽你講這些蠢話

383
00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:39,289
我好不容易建立起自信

384
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,291
現在全被你毀了

385
00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:42,918
我要出門

386
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,379
換你照顧孩子，好奇我到底跑哪去了

387
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:54,722
不，我才不要心軟

388
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,022
麗莎？你還好嗎？

389
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:04,398
我想扮演上帝

390
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:05,774
而就像真的上帝一樣

391
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,401
把一切搞得一團亂

392
00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:10,029
辛普森家的女人碰上重重難關

393
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,196
就連媚姬也遭殃

394
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:14,408
但人生總是有一絲光明

395
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,329
新的一天即將到來

396
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:20,497
這一天如此美妙

397
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:23,667
將會永遠改變辛普森家女人的生活

398
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,935
念薯球排的字

399
00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:43,896
＂去屋頂＂？

400
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,023
好好享受，下一個

401
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,358
（你被退學了）

402
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:50,319
可惡

403
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,407
麗莎，你願意跟我們共進午餐嗎？

404
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:59,328
我們想要為你的生活帶來一點美好

405
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,707
這是你應得的，親愛的

406
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:07,836
這裡只有你會關心他人

407
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,840
唯一一個願意幫助老格我…

408
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,301
她終於找到吃午餐最棒的座位

409
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:17,554
但這是什麼情況？荷馬不想喝酒了？

410
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,389
荷馬，真抱歉我們嘲笑你

411
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,100
我們只是想打擊你而已

412
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,937
我真的感到好內疚，不知如何是好

413
00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:26,855
你還能怎麼辦？改名換姓

414
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,525
戴頂假髮，去找新對象

415
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,486
沒錯，老莫，你真是個天才

416
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:33,737
祝我好運

417
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:39,618
為什麼大家都不付錢就走人？

418
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:40,994
我也不知道

419
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,706
但以上天為證，我會查個清楚

420
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:49,878
你們兩個不准動

421
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,175
各位，我有兩件超悲慘的事

422
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,094
要告訴你們

423
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:59,638
第一，我騙了你們

424
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,557
我不是變裝皇后

425
00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,144
妹子，你沒騙倒我們，我們都知道

426
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,521
我就不知道，但我超級自我中心的

427
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:09,773
第二

428
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,025
而一如往常

429
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,819
第二件事最為重要

430
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:17,781
我跟我老公時常起爭執

431
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:20,659
但我們總是能床頭吵床尾和

432
00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:25,247
可是這次碰上這麼關心支持我的你們

433
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:29,668
讓我發覺荷馬真的很自私

434
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:31,920
甜心

435
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,630
讓我最傷心的就是

436
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:38,677
我想不到他有什麼辦法能挽回我

437
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,639
這樣的話，我這身打扮就白費了

438
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:45,976
荷馬　　　　親愛的，我現在懂了

439
00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:48,437
這種所向無敵的感覺，神秘感

440
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,356
好奇我是男是女

441
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,650
相信我，大家都知道你是男的，寶貝

442
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,529
真不錯

443
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,866
如果你不接受他，瑪姬，我就接收了

444
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:03,118
他絕對離不開我的廚房的

445
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,620
我的豬肉絲越式三明治

446
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,496
可是讓人一試成主顧

447
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,458
荷馬，我愛你

448
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,964
在舞池徹夜熱舞

449
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,133
一個打扮成女人的男人

450
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:22,471
追回假扮成扮成女人的男人的女人

451
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,390
是我見過最浪漫的事了

452
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:27,559
一切迎刃而解

453
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,646
再見，我們下次再會

454
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:31,980
用英文來說就是

455
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,399
掰啦

456
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:40,864
這麼說…你現在是變裝皇后？

457
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,576
我不知道，也許吧
如今人人都可以隨心所欲

458
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,079
小姐，你自己一個人嗎？

459
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:48,747
我是荷馬

460
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:54,002
為何好對象不是結婚了就是荷馬？

461
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:08,267
（謹此紀念史丹李）

462
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:15,399
謝謝觀賞

463
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:18,860
翻譯：ＳＤＩ　Ｍｅｄｉａ