1 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,172 辛普森家庭 2 00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:07,298 (登記參加校園樂團) 3 00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:08,299 (用拉的、用吹的、用手指挖) 4 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,259 (樂團樂趣正式開跑) 5 00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:12,303 好,孩子們,大家選一種樂器 6 00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,680 隨便哪一種 7 00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,056 反正每個人都會很爛 8 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,267 我不在乎,我有加入工會 9 00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:20,895 我跟你們說過,我不要學樂器 10 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,897 你要學一種樂器 11 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:25,567 媽,音樂是用電腦做出來的 12 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,819 不是把生鏽的鐵放進你的… 13 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:28,903 嘴裡 14 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:32,699 聽著,你媽覺得強迫你在學校學樂器 15 00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,451 會讓你奇蹟似地成為不一樣的人 16 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:35,910 但大家都知道其實不會… 17 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,120 所以你學就對了 18 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,205 不然我就要把你的短褲剪成短裙 19 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,290 好吧 20 00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,833 這個蠢東西如何? 21 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:53,136 你為什麼不試試看黑管? 22 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:55,388 跟直笛差不多,但比較酷 23 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,481 這把破舊的吉他如何? 24 00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:14,032 至少他會穿上西裝 25 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,116 我們可以走了嗎? 26 00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:16,409 這裡的無線網路很不穩 27 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:20,330 可是我想看明星身材走樣的圖片集 28 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:23,041 聽說第四張超誇張 29 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,502 這張表單上面註明 30 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,087 你必須自行保管好樂器 31 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:32,133 所以如果我把小提琴弄壞了 32 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,593 荷馬就必須付錢? 33 00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:35,261 「荷馬必須付錢?」 34 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,555 學校的確是借給你兒子一個樂器 35 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,808 它價值430美元 36 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,481 小提琴,你跟我 37 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,817 將會一起創造出美妙的音樂 38 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,760 霸子?霸子? 39 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,929 430元的小提琴,你在嗎? 40 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,351 如果把啤酒倒進霧面馬克杯裡喝 41 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:24,644 你就不算個酒鬼 42 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,729 你只是個啤酒愛好者 43 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,190 哈囉,父親 44 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:33,111 謝謝你願意為這個美妙的樂器負責 45 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,696 我相信你一定會覺得它的音樂… 46 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:36,656 很療癒 47 00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,741 拜託,老兄,不要這樣對我 48 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,869 我是個好人,我還有家室啊! 49 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,537 你說的對,我對你太壞了 50 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:43,830 給你吧,接好 51 00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:00,847 你!我好心把你帶回家 52 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,473 但你卻奪走了一切 53 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,350 你知道我在做什麼嗎? 54 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:07,145 我在拉全世界最小的小提琴 55 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,528 我自由了,我自由了! 56 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:16,905 我終於自由了! 57 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,119 你要去哪裡? 58 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,205 我要弄壞我的腦 59 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,957 就像我剛剛毀了你對兒子的期許一樣 60 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,419 喝…    喝… 61 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,963 喝…    喝… 62 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:39,219 小火車做到了… 63 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,054 它可以把我灌醉 64 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:44,682 對,大家都很喜歡「醉醺醺快車」 65 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,769 老莫小酒館,我是老莫 66 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,063 什麼?你還敢打電話給我? 67 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:52,357 快把我的電話號碼刪掉 68 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,608 把電話放到一隻襪子裡 69 00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:55,193 然後不斷敲自己的頭 70 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:58,238 直到你的臉像汽車旅館自助餐的蛋! 71 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,074 又是惡作劇電話? 72 00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:04,077 這次是誰?「安妮塔小蒂蒂」? 73 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,453 「艾凡田你」? 74 00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,205 我想到一個了 75 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,249 「約翰沙士」 76 00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:12,168 不是惡作劇 77 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,878 是我熟識的人 78 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,589 是誰啊?    閉上你的臭嘴! 79 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,591 這樣你滿意了嗎?酒吧打烊了! 80 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:20,677 大家都出去!滾出去! 81 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:26,849 (呼氣式酒測儀) 82 00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,018 我酒氣好重 83 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,066 狗也喝醉了! 84 00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:41,155 看來我只好用智慧型手機叫司機 85 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,366 (老莫小酒館) 86 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,742 上車吧 87 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:49,080 沒薄荷糖?早知道我就叫優步了 88 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:52,500 嘿,老莫怎麼了? 89 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,002 現在鬥雞比賽已經結束了 90 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,753 鬥老鼠比賽又還沒開始 91 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,464 他自從接到那通電話後,就大發神經 92 00:04:58,548 --> 00:04:59,590 我想要… 93 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,262 他聽起來像上次你點燃烤肉架時 94 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,930 來不及逃出來的那隻負鼠 95 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:08,850 或許我們該跟著他 96 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,476 你沒醉,你決定囉 97 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,270 你居然打電話給我? 98 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,771 我當然要來見你 99 00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,398 我要好好見你一面 100 00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:30,830 我要殺了你,你這個骯髒下流的人! 101 00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,582 你必須阻止他們 102 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,669 放開我 103 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,588 我再用懶人鞋打他一次 104 00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,173 就能把他的假髮打飛! 105 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:43,134 你為什麼要跟一個老人打架? 106 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,510 因為這個老人… 107 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,096 是我老爸 108 00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:49,432 我是莫帝西斯萊克,很高興認識你 109 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,101 你對我來說一點都不重要 110 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,687 你只是個噴太多香水 111 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,772 腐爛的烤肉排 112 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,482 你這個不懂感恩的臭小鬼 113 00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:00,276 你不配走進我的香味中 114 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:01,652 我真不該打電話給你 115 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,363 我完全同意 116 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,450 這世界上最悲哀的事 117 00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,994 就是破碎的家庭 118 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,332 喝醉的狗 119 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:18,920 (因家庭因素暫停營業) 120 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,341 我好多年沒見到我老爸了 121 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,927 他打來後,我一時心軟,決定去見他 122 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,262 但我一聞到他「運動外套」的香水味 123 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,181 就忍不住拿鞋子打他 124 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:34,060 你怎麼會那麼久沒見到你爸爸? 125 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:36,771 說真的,你怎麼做到的?聽起來很讚 126 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,022 讓我娓娓道來 127 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,566 你們也知道,大家都視我為… 128 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,319 人類馬桶刷?    沒錯 129 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,738 我是我們家的異類 130 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:48,449 他們都從事很邪惡的事業 131 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,576 毒品?    不,比那個更糟 132 00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:53,538 管制藥品?    不,沒那麼糟 133 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,164 西斯萊克家族… 134 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,291 專賣床墊 135 00:06:58,584 --> 00:06:59,627 我知道… 136 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,255 他們就像沒有道德觀的貸款經理人 137 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,382 要人們付一千兩百美元 138 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:06,384 買一堆稻草 139 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,392 從小,我跟我爸爸 140 00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:15,935 弟弟和妹妹一起生活 141 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,354 我們擁有鎮上最大的連鎖床墊專賣店 142 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:21,107 大多都要歸功於地方廣告 143 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,277 這個怎麼用?好了 144 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,572 (床墊王) 145 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,073 各位請注意! 146 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,076 我們提供最優惠的價格! 147 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,745 別忘了,就算你沒信用 148 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,497 也沒問題! 149 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,624 所以快來「床墊王」吧 150 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,960 任何一個營業據點都可以 151 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,630 我們就會讓你在全新的床墊上 152 00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:46,757 一夜…    好眠! 153 00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:49,302 卡    做得好,孩子們 154 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:50,845 每個人都能吃一顆洋蔥 155 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,766 但我們會成功還有另一個原因 156 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,685 我直到後來才發現 157 00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,855 兒子,你的聲音終於夠粗啞了 158 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:04,025 現在你該學習怎麼在床墊界生存 159 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,152 臭蟲? 160 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,030 這些是匈牙利床墊咀嚼者 161 00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:10,698 唯一能除掉牠們的方法 162 00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:12,492 就是全身赤裸走出家門 163 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,035 開創新的人生 164 00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,913 (呼呼大睡) 165 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,624 你要陷害我們的競爭對手? 166 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,126 不對…是你要陷害他們 167 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,628 你想當沙人 168 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,880 睡眠工、哈欠員嗎? 169 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:29,091 就得這樣做,這是西斯萊克家的作風 170 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:32,178 (床墊王,呼呼大睡) 171 00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:42,647 (呼呼大睡家庭) 172 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,357 雖然他們是我們的競爭對手 173 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,691 但他們也是一個家庭 174 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:47,860 我不能毀了他們 175 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,407 你該感到驕傲,你做了件好事 176 00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:56,536 是啊,但那件好事毀了我的人生 177 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,622 因為我同情的那一家人 178 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:02,333 在我們的床墊上放滿臭蟲 179 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,752 西斯萊克王朝垮了 180 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,046 很快地,我們只剩下幾間店 181 00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:09,715 我老爸從沒說他對我有多失望 182 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,717 但我能清楚地感受到 183 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,970 他把我逐出家門,改建我的房間 184 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:15,972 變成一間他從來不用的健身房 185 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,183 我弟弟妹妹取代我在我爸心中的地位 186 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:22,436 我跟我老爸唯一的聯繫只剩領英網站 187 00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:24,855 這比斷了聯繫更糟糕 188 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,732 為什麼你爸爸在這麼多年後 189 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,234 又想跟你聯絡? 190 00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,861 我不在乎,我完全不在乎! 191 00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:32,446 老莫,如果你不跟你爸爸和好 192 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,157 你心中永遠都會有遺憾 193 00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:36,742 親愛的,仔細聽我說 194 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,954 介入老莫悲慘的人生 195 00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:41,205 一定不會有好下場 196 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:43,958 荷馬,你最愛看哪部電影? 197 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,585 《玩命關頭6》 198 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,628 電影的主題是什麼? 199 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:48,713 車子 200 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:51,007 另一個主題呢? 201 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:53,092 家人 202 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:54,302 她說的對,老莫 203 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,762 你要給你的車第二次機會 204 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,934 那是你家的床墊店嗎? 205 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,103 不是    那是你家的床墊店嗎? 206 00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:06,022 不是    那是你家的床墊店嗎? 207 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,732 不是!    天啊,我從沒發現 208 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,859 有這麼多間床墊店 209 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,403 對,但等你要買張床墊時 210 00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:14,322 才會發現到處都是床墊店 211 00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:16,574 (床墊王) 212 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,576 我們把床墊送達時 213 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,244 它看起來完全沒問題 214 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,496 我又沒叫你把床墊翻過來! 215 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:23,914 西斯萊克先生 216 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:27,126 我帶來一位現在依然很關心你的人 217 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,128 嘿,老爸 218 00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:33,257 我…我很抱歉我用鞋子呼你巴掌 219 00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:36,177 或許那是我應得的報應 220 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:37,637 這是你的女友嗎? 221 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,764 我可以說「是」嗎? 222 00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:45,645 這一定是老莫的弟弟跟妹妹 223 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,021 他們長得沒有老莫那麼醜 224 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,814 但感覺還是很醜 225 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,860 她用剪刀吃中式料理 226 00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,199 嘿,醜八怪正義使者在這裡做什麼? 227 00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,909 他不是床墊界的人 228 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,494 我永遠不會忘記 229 00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,412 你逼爸爸對你做出什麼事 230 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,372 我們現在要談 231 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:07,166 「我逼爸爸對我做出什麼事」嗎? 232 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,210 因為我可以說上一整天! 233 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:10,795 閉嘴,你們這些彈簧床! 234 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,546 是我主動聯繫 235 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,340 這個令人失望透頂的化糞池 236 00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,134 我想跟他…和好如初 237 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,803 和好如初? 238 00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:19,845 和好如初?    和好如初? 239 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,682 沒必要動用到鞋子! 240 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,642 我想邀請你們全部來我家 241 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:27,228 吃一頓家庭寬恕晚餐 242 00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:28,396 我們會出席的 243 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,064 我可以帶一瓶伴手禮嗎? 244 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:31,315 太好了 245 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,734 你要止痛藥還是短效嗎啡? 246 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,319 好,弟弟坐這裡 247 00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,279 爸爸坐這裡,老莫坐這… 248 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,906 不,不行! 249 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,908 你知道嗎?當她失敗時 250 00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:44,120 我很難不對她說「我就跟你說吧」 251 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,538 不要這樣說就好了啊 252 00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,790 你從沒結過婚,對吧,麗莎? 253 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,667 當你很愛一個人時 254 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:52,503 很難不在他們徹底失敗時 255 00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,797 在他們的傷口上灑鹽 256 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,805 好,我想到一個好玩的遊戲 257 00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:07,601 每個人輪流說出他們家人的優點 258 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:08,602 我先開始 259 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,230 麗莎的字寫得很美 260 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:12,690 謝謝你,媽 261 00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:15,568 換我?這個嘛… 262 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,070 我愚蠢的爸爸心胸很寬大 263 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,739 才會跟這個叛徒聯絡! 264 00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:22,074 我很佩服你能閉上你的嘴 265 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,659 跟叛徒好好相處! 266 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,955 我喜歡霸子的… 267 00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:32,501 霸子是…他… 268 00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:34,670 我能稱讚麗莎嗎? 269 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:35,838 晚餐大戰! 270 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,381 你要怎樣?想怎樣啊? 271 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,342 荷馬!快進入第二階段 272 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,804 聖誕節大特賣 273 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,890 全面降價! 274 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:49,977 雙人床墊及其他商品,價格最優惠! 275 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:51,145 (先不用付款) 276 00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:53,773 床墊夜 277 00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:56,984 價格低 278 00:12:57,067 --> 00:13:00,780 先不用付款,但… 279 00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:05,117 只有我很懷念過去的時光嗎? 280 00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:07,286 我們雖然穿著臭麋鹿裝 281 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,538 但我們是真正的一家人 282 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,957 我很想念你們這些怪胎 283 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:17,046 瑪姬,謝謝你幫助我們團圓 284 00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,840 我有事要告訴你們 285 00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,383 我要退休了 286 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,846 欲戴床墊皇冠必承其重 287 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:29,058 沒錯,我的彈簧沒力了 288 00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:31,769 我要給我的兒子一間店 289 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,355 我要給我的女兒一間店 290 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,816 各位,今晚的晚餐很愉快 291 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,360 下次葬禮上見,看誰先死 292 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:42,780 我要給我的長子一間店 293 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,492 什麼?我已把這個夢想深埋在心中 294 00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:49,662 我以為不管怎麼傷害自己都沒用了 295 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,921 我好懷念海綿床墊放氣的味道 296 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,381 當我跨過這個門檻 297 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,341 我的新生活就要開始了! 298 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:07,805 這是我第一次被抱著進入一間店 299 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:11,016 看看我,女性運動鞋店! 300 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,560 我成功了 301 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:17,857 (由老莫經營的床墊王重新開幕!) 302 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,817 嘿,各位,謝謝你們來捧場 303 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,236 如果有人想喝杯酒 304 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:23,946 就去記憶床墊上拿 305 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,157 老天,我的老天爺啊 306 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,869 好了…閉上你們的鳥嘴 307 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:31,996 現在要為各位播放 308 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,623 我跟我的弟弟妹妹一起拍的廣告 309 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,625 我從不說謊 310 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:39,211 我很高興又能重回床墊界 311 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,797 希望你們能花少點錢、睡得安穩 312 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,717 我們要解放折扣了! 313 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,635 所以快衝到床墊王 314 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,637 最大的床墊專賣店 315 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,472 歡迎我們的大哥老莫 316 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,141 重返我們的家庭! 317 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:55,477 要記得,在老莫的店裡 318 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,856 每張床墊上都死過人喔 319 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,402 我的床墊上都死過人? 320 00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,696 嘿,有人惡搞我們的廣告 321 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,198 誰死在老莫的床墊上? 322 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,534 孤僻的人、肥胖的人 323 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:13,370 以及囚犯…    囚犯… 324 00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,289 不,這都是謊言!快回來! 325 00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:16,749 我的床墊都是全新的! 326 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,584 是由最可愛的童工們製作出來的! 327 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,003 這裡的床墊太噁心了! 328 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,088 他們背叛了我 329 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,007 在我的屁股上捅了一刀 330 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,592 抱歉,大哥 331 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:27,968 我們看到了一個大好機會 332 00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:31,388 可以把你踢出家族事業 333 00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:32,389 所以我們決定把握住它 334 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,224 這是西斯萊克家的作風 335 00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:38,729 可是…是我讓他們重聚的 336 00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:41,190 結果怎麼會如此糟糕? 337 00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,734 不要說「我就跟你說吧」… 338 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:46,445 或許我當初不該介入 339 00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,656 不要說「我就跟你說吧」… 340 00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,616 為什麼沒有人警告我? 341 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:51,992 不要說「我就跟你說吧」 342 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,202 我就跟你… 343 00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,583 (床墊王因他們做出的事暫停營業) 344 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,464 等我爸爸得知我被愚弄後 345 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,884 他會希望他當初從沒跟我聯繫 346 00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:11,303 老莫,我很抱歉 347 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,514 所以我要首次跟你做肢體接觸 348 00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,599 給你一個柏拉圖式的擁抱 349 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:20,896 算了,我做不到 350 00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:23,774 沒關係,你已經算最接近的了 351 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,985 但我還是相信 352 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:29,071 你依然可以跟你的家人重修舊好 353 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:31,949 不,我試過瑪姬的方法了 354 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:35,244 現在我要用西斯萊克家的方法 355 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,996 不,不要! 356 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:41,834 沒錯,我要正式向我的家人宣戰! 357 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,129 我最好跟他去 358 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,089 才能看好戲 359 00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:52,136 (床墊王) 360 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,519 (大特價,超大特價) 361 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,694 (拿鐵咖啡) 362 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:14,116 (床墊王,水床大拍賣) 363 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,291 老天,發生了什麼事? 364 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:23,834 我們把它們大切八塊 365 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:26,587 它們現在面目全非了! 366 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,589 (此標籤只能由消費者自行拆除) 367 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,592 這只是復仇的前奏曲 368 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,260 今晚才要見真章 369 00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:36,847 我要好好對付我的家人 370 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,934 只有一個人能阻止他了 371 00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,228 (強尼百慕達的退休服專賣店) 372 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:44,772 先生,這件襯衫代表著 373 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,982 你有空去捕章魚跟喝邁泰 374 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,233 自大狂妄的退休人員 375 00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,902 都很喜歡買這一件 376 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,612 很好 377 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,489 我可以想像自己 378 00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,991 穿著這件看高爾夫球賽 379 00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:59,119 老西斯萊克先生,你必須做些什麼 380 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,455 你的孩子們在互相殘殺! 381 00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,749 不,我已經退休了 382 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,001 讓他們自己處理他們之間的小爭執 383 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,253 這看起來像「小爭執」嗎? 384 00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:10,464 (用雪茄燙我哥,就送免費床墊!) 385 00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:12,382 免費的床墊? 386 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,843 我不能繼續穿著休閒服飾了 387 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,473 謝謝您的惠顧,先生 388 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,684 老莫在裡面,他從沒這麼生氣過 389 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,311 就連他輸掉「最生氣男人」比賽時 390 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:25,479 也沒這麼生氣 391 00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:26,605 (床墊王倉庫) 392 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,524 他瘋了!他真的會這麼做! 393 00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:29,942 他真的會動手! 394 00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,237 我在上面,老爸 395 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,739 我只是在跟弟弟妹妹玩 396 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,658 就跟從前一樣 397 00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:44,581 匈牙利床墊咀嚼者! 398 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,792 如果他放出那些蟲 399 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,419 我們的床墊就全毀了! 400 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:50,587 我的床墊就不會 401 00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:54,299 它們都完好如初 402 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,971 我要嚼爛我的敵人! 403 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,098 這就是西斯萊克家的作風! 404 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,684 莫帝!快阻止他! 405 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,567 對!砸破那個罐子! 406 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:13,694 搶回屬於你的東西! 407 00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:16,321 什麼?    你想要他這樣做? 408 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:19,158 他終於有膽完成使命了 409 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,577 他多年前就該這麼做了 410 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:22,703 快砸!兒子! 411 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,997 你將會擁有一切! 412 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,957 為了你的國王! 413 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,668 為了你的國王 414 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,730 我做不到 415 00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,231 什麼?    什麼? 416 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,441 抱歉,老爸 417 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:53,901 看來我這輩子 418 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,360 都無法用西斯萊克家的作風過生活 419 00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,489 老莫,你真是個好人 420 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:02,159 那些沒心沒肺的床墊豺狼 421 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,493 不配當你的家人 422 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,037 我從沒想過我會這樣說 423 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:08,707 但有些家庭不該團聚在一起 424 00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,168 對,我要殺了你! 425 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,589 是肢體接觸 426 00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:17,758 (柔軟) 427 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:18,967 (硬) 428 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,011 (超硬) 429 00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:23,931 (床墊王倉庫) 430 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:35,400 我就你說吧! 431 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:49,206 嘿,我是床墊王的老莫 432 00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:52,125 快撥打5550146 433 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,627 限量出清 434 00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:57,297 床墊王的雙人加大床墊只要99美元 435 00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,549 國王尺寸的床墊只要129美元 436 00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:04,096 你還好嗎?    沒事… 437 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,056 我沒事 438 00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:07,891 我本來就擔心… 439 00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:09,726 我本來就擔心會發生這種事 440 00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:11,895 你沒事嗎?    我沒事 441 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:13,272 你確定嗎?    我的吉他壞了 442 00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,148 但我沒事 443 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:16,817 你確定嗎?    我沒事 444 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:17,985 你的手腳還能動嗎? 445 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,195 他穿著皮衣    好吧 446 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,613 有拍到嗎?    有 447 00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:23,365 很好,太好了!