1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,131 辛普森家庭 2 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,174 (蓋瓦比拍賣會場) 3 00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:11,219 目前出價八百萬美金 4 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,679 九百萬 5 00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:14,389 一千萬    一千一百萬! 6 00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:17,100 一千五百萬美金 7 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,644 胡安米羅的《女詩人》一次 8 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,479 兩次,成交! 9 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,275 賣給億萬富翁科技巨擘梅根麥瑟森 10 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:35,785 不要拿走那幅畫,我很喜歡! 11 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,746 我不會讓你們拿走的! 12 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:40,957 (女詩人) 13 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,882 (隔天) 14 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,383 (蓋瓦比拍賣會場) 15 00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:05,356 我們送來了,麥瑟森小姐 16 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,193 胡安米羅的《女詩人》 17 00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,864 我的畫被偷了! 18 00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:14,324 這是不可能的 19 00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,076 這個謎團太複雜了 20 00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:18,036 只有一個人可以解開 21 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,789 幫我聯絡麥納切克 22 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,711 (迪克龐貝飾演) 23 00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:28,922 (麥納切克) 24 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:32,300 (無藝術之處就是家) 25 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,694 (相互結盟保險公司) 26 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,331 (艾斯皮鞋股份有限公司) 27 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:22,600 (相互結盟保險公司) 28 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,694 幸好你來了,麥納切克先生 29 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,904 你是所有自由保險調查員之中 30 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,656 最厲害的 31 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,324 這就是我們正需要的 32 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,951 一個自大的帥哥 33 00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:42,245 讓我們這些警察看起來很蠢 34 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,664 克蘭西,你氣色真… 35 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,916 胖    看吧? 36 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,086 他是故意在句子中間停頓的 37 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,423 或許是,或許… 38 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,384 不是    這我也會… 39 00:02:58,845 --> 00:02:59,929 停頓 40 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,098 被偷的畫有三個人出價競標 41 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,100 核電大亨伯恩斯先生 42 00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,019 創業投資人梅根麥瑟森 43 00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:07,854 和打迷你高爾夫會作弊的荷馬辛普森 44 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,230 這三個人都是嫌犯 45 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,065 我不介意直接跟你說,麥納切克 46 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,193 我希望你臉著地跌個狗吃屎 47 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,737 我不希望 48 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,405 我媽很喜歡我的臉 49 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,489 該死,你真會講話 50 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:40,261 麥納切克,我不知道你幹嘛來煩我 51 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,639 是我的畫被人偷了 52 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:45,642 沒錯,但你幫價值一千五百萬的畫 53 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,644 保了三千萬的險 54 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,562 你這麼有生意頭腦 55 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:50,813 應該不會做這麼不合理的事 56 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,066 你這個自大的混蛋 57 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,611 我喜歡你,麥納切克 58 00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:59,405 但你應該去找真正的偷畫賊 59 00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:02,283 競標輸給我的蒙哥馬利伯恩斯 60 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,662 你的健身方式真激烈 61 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,705 但我還知道另一種更好的健身方式 62 00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:11,125 抱歉,我目前穩定交往中 63 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,877 是前丹麥小姐 64 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:16,089 她創造了一種能治癒瘧疾的蚊子 65 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,259 如果她發明了治愈承諾的解藥 告訴我一聲 66 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,018 出靶 67 00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:30,019 開槍 68 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,272 你的槍法真厲害,伯恩斯先生 69 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:35,608 你打飛靶的技術真不簡單 70 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,986 少拍我馬屁了,麥納切克 71 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,195 我知道你是為什麼來找我 72 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,239 你覺得是我偷了那幅爛畫 73 00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:42,365 太荒謬了 74 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,451 有隻小陶鴿告訴我 75 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,869 你沒辦法忍受自己 76 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,080 競標輸給了一個女人 77 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,541 出靶… 78 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:57,505 看來這裡唯一被射中的 79 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:58,965 是你的痛處 80 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,843 小心我打爛你這張欠揍臉 81 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,721 我喜歡你,麥納切克 82 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,889 但偷畫的人是誰,其實很明顯 83 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:09,309 就是說自己無論如何都要得到那畫的 84 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,351 荷馬辛普森 85 00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:14,022 你還隨身攜帶酒杯嗎? 86 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,064 這是充氣的 87 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:16,899 是在禮品店買的 88 00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:20,194 (春田核電廠) 89 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,413 我不知道我能幫你什麼忙 90 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,372 麥納切克先生 91 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,875 你也看得出來我很忙 92 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,465 根據我的線人藍尼所述 93 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,216 你對那幅畫非常著迷 94 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:43,509 我自己也曾經 95 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,137 對一件有皮質口袋的麂皮獵裝很著迷 96 00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:47,638 為了那件外套,我什麼都願意做 97 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,265 連偷一幅畫都願意 98 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,518 我會對一幅蠢畫著迷? 99 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:53,770 太荒謬了 100 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,148 是嗎?    你說的對 101 00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:59,275 為了那幅畫,我什麼都願意做 102 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,402 說謊、殺人、偷竊,我不會殺人啦 103 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,529 但我會偷走然後說謊 104 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,656 但我沒說謊,我沒有偷那幅畫 105 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,283 相信我,不然我就殺了你 106 00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:10,119 我喜歡你,麥納切克 107 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,120 我會殺了你! 108 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:13,706 我喜歡你 109 00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:17,585 辛普森先生,你對我依然有所隱瞞 110 00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,545 我會查出你隱瞞了什麼 111 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:20,755 拜託不要 112 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:32,809 披薩外送員的顏值越來越高了 113 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:35,395 我是荷馬辛普森的老婆 114 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,731 我很喜歡人妻,人妻不會對我逼婚 115 00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:40,942 天啊,你還真多搭訕台詞 116 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,194 等我帶你去看我的燈芯絨床單 117 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,487 你身上也會有很多線 118 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:47,323 麥納切克先生,我老公被你嚇壞了 119 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,075 拜託你給我一個機會 120 00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,910 讓我說服你他沒有犯罪 121 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,495 那你得跟我吃一頓飯 122 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:54,497 好吧 123 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,041 要再來點肉醬玉米片嗎,麥納切克? 124 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,211 好啊,隨便 125 00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:09,053 如果荷馬沒有偷那幅畫 126 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,264 那他為什麼躲在樓梯上 127 00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:13,349 拿一盒早餐麥片就直接吃? 128 00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,355 荷馬就是很容易慌張的人 129 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:20,773 這是他唯一的缺點 130 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,234 瑪姬,你得跟我說實話 131 00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:25,945 好吧,我承認,他有很多缺點 132 00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,488 數千個缺點 133 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:28,990 到處都是缺點 134 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,909 你老公看起來不像會欣賞藝術品的人 135 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:36,080 但他確實對女性很有品味 136 00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,666 怪人,不要再對我媽放電了 137 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,669 她唯一喜歡的穿緊身褲的矮子 138 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:42,837 是我們的爸爸 139 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,465 抱歉,我如果要破案 140 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:46,924 就必須一邊勾引女人 141 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,384 這是我做事的方式 142 00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,303 只要你給我一根雪茄 143 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:51,679 我就告訴你所有關於荷馬的事 144 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,264 你不能抽雪茄 145 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:54,849 女人就是這樣    女人就是這樣 146 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,518 我喜歡你,麥納切克 147 00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,353 所以我決定要告訴你 148 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,897 我爸和那幅畫的真實故事 149 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,566 荷馬之前陪我們班去博物館戶外教學 150 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:06,444 他很不情願 151 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,446 快點,動作快 152 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,405 三個人共用一個小便斗 153 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,033 不准洗手,不然吃午餐會遲到 154 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,413 天啊,那幅畫真蠢 155 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:18,915 是在亂畫什麼啊? 156 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,625 藝術的主題應該要是美女 157 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:23,336 狗獵兔子、聖經故事 158 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,129 還有3D人行道繪畫 159 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,297 讓人有會掉下去的錯覺 160 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,195 我懂了 161 00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,405 我懂了 162 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,909 辛普森先生,有些同學去了禮品店 163 00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:57,036 規定是我們只能帶五美金 164 00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:58,454 但有些人多帶了 165 00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,122 什麼? 166 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,958 對喔,我要陪同你們 167 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,804 這是溫的啤酒 168 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,056 那是2007年的米凱羅 169 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:19,392 荷馬要留到特殊場合再喝 170 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,146 很棒 171 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:27,733 我老公之後就滿腦子都在想那幅畫 172 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:54,343 什麼?老婆 173 00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:56,262 我愛上了一幅畫 174 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,723 是什麼畫?葡萄嗎? 175 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,808 不是    花嗎? 176 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,102 不是    桃子嗎? 177 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,438 不是    你確定那是一幅畫嗎? 178 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:08,232 我很確定,我趁沒人看的時候偷摸過 179 00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:10,943 喜歡藝術是沒有問題的 180 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,903 只要是具象藝術就好 181 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,574 那幅畫是具象藝術,對吧? 182 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,785 告訴我是具象藝術 183 00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,955 我們的婚姻還有什麼是謊言? 184 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,291 你真的是有執照的DJ嗎? 185 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,335 我有上過課,但我檢定沒過! 186 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,547 普通的藍領工人突然愛上現代藝術? 187 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,924 真是荒謬到難以言喻 188 00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,926 你以為現在是西元幾年啊? 189 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,637 喂,我才是私家偵探 190 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,513 我跟你說,其實我爸 191 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,140 是心思非常細膩的人 192 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:46,896 太好了,你醒了 193 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:50,107 這件事我只能夠跟你談 194 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,484 我知道那幅畫 195 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:54,278 是胡安米羅的《女詩人》 196 00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:56,947 這幅畫為什麼能讓我這麼平靜? 197 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,658 為什麼? 198 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,494 你看,雖然這是一幅抽象畫 199 00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,621 但這個黃色的圓圈可以代表太陽 200 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,956 或是靜止不動的小精靈 201 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,502 爸,你明明很討厭藝術,快清醒啊 202 00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:13,089 真是不簡單 203 00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:14,590 我每次用不同的角度看 204 00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:18,302 就會有新的發現 205 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:20,846 (春田藝術博物館) 206 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,015 我想要在此強調 207 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:27,061 這是你第一次拖著我去博物館 208 00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:29,480 沒錯,太陽要從西邊出來了 209 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:32,316 連沙灘排球都比普通排球熱門 210 00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:37,154 抱歉,兩位 211 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,281 這間博物館已經結束營運了 212 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:41,575 我們可以進去 213 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,494 再看一次我們最愛的畫嗎? 214 00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,037 那幅畫叫《女詩人》 215 00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:46,914 那幅畫在那個木箱裡 216 00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,541 要被送去拍賣會場了 217 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,501 之後會被億萬富翁買走 218 00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:51,961 你們就再也看不到了 219 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,213 這個我也得收走 220 00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,677 博物館出清特賣 221 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,554 春田藝術博物館 222 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,889 因為市政府預算縮減而受害 223 00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:06,892 博物館現在已經結束營運 224 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,186 館藏藝術品會遭到拍賣 225 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,605 館員則會遭到野放 226 00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:14,984 當地的藝術迷和需要上廁所的街友 227 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,527 也聯合聚集起來抗議 228 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,362 畢卡索、哥雅    畢卡索、哥雅 229 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,406 塞尚、達利    塞尚、達利 230 00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,283 拍賣藝術品    拍賣藝術品 231 00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:23,826 愚蠢至極!    愚蠢至極! 232 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,244 (別碰我的林布蘭) 233 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,329 我們在這裡,維梅爾 234 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,456 看著辦吧! 235 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:32,710 各位,政府就是必須做出困難的抉擇 236 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,670 但這並不是其中之一 237 00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,797 博物館訪客數幾乎是零 238 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:39,425 還因導覽機遭竊損失了數千美金 239 00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:42,136 偷導覽機的人是想幹嘛? 240 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,891 拿這個敲胡桃真好用 241 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,769 愛德華霍普利用這扇窗戶 242 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,604 邀請觀者進入這個場景 243 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,731 但又把觀者限制住 244 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,025 可是坤比市長 245 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,735 春田藝術博物館 246 00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,653 簡稱春藝館,是個瑰寶 247 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:02,490 春藝館是我們鎮唯一能引以為傲的 248 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,283 文化機構 249 00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:06,160 別再說春藝館了 250 00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:07,244 沒人在用這個簡稱 251 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:08,954 不好意思,春藝館市長 252 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,415 我不像這些聰明的托特包 253 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,168 我喜歡芝心餅皮、綜合格鬥 254 00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:16,504 也喜歡看亞當山德勒演的電影 255 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,839 但那間博物館有一幅畫 256 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,382 我認真看的時候 257 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:23,135 只有一個詞可以形容我的感受 258 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,220 是哪個詞啊? 259 00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:27,056 變性人 260 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,809 出類拔萃 261 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,144 但我們需要預算才能填補路上的洞 262 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,521 還有教育孩童 263 00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:34,939 你知道我們因預算不足 264 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,941 開除了三分之一的警察嗎? 265 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,692 沒錯,就是艾迪! 266 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,612 我原本有槍的 267 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,868 好吧,把藝術品賣了 268 00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,246 我們繼續去抗議下一件事 269 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,706 太多刺身生魚餐廳了 270 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,918 生魚飯很普通    生魚飯很普通 271 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,128 生魚飯很普通    生魚飯很普通 272 00:13:58,504 --> 00:13:59,630 (蓋瓦比拍賣會場) 273 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,383 保羅塞尚的《水邊》 274 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:05,135 以650萬美金成交 275 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,220 好耶! 276 00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:08,556 我開心得像史提夫馬丁一樣 277 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,934 真是…天啊,不 278 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:13,310 (蓋瓦比拍賣會場) 279 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,856 最後一件是胡安米羅的《女詩人》 280 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:19,733 起標價是五百萬美金 281 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,193 我出價! 282 00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:22,278 你在幹嘛? 283 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,029 我知道要怎樣得到那幅畫了 284 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,990 六百萬美金 285 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:28,325 這價格太低了 286 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:30,619 我需要買這幅畫 287 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,247 去放在我在哥斯大黎加的私人猴子園 288 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:36,625 這幅畫的顏色會讓那些猴子很興奮 289 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,252 七百萬美金 290 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,212 八百萬    九百萬! 291 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,089 先生,我們剛剛試圖向 292 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,133 老莫第一銀行確認你的資金 293 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,801 但接電話的人 294 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,469 威脅要把我們的頭骨拿去煮 295 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,804 然後做成… 296 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,556 老鼠的馬桶 297 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,184 沒關係,爸 298 00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,353 你只是很愛那幅畫 299 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,356 目前出價八百萬美金 300 00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:01,442 九百萬 301 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:02,443 一千萬    一千一百萬! 302 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:05,154 一千五百萬美金 303 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,740 胡安米羅的《女詩人》一次 304 00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,575 兩次,成交! 305 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:13,329 賣給億萬富翁科技巨擘梅根麥瑟森 306 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,714 不要拿走那幅畫,我很喜歡! 307 00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:25,633 我不會讓你們拿走的! 308 00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,052 你們的故事什麼都有 309 00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:31,096 戶外教學、作夢、梅爾 310 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:35,392 而且還給了你爸完美的犯案動機 311 00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:37,353 他想跟女兒關係更好 312 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:40,272 或許是吧,但我很確定他沒犯罪 313 00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,816 媽、麗莎、1970年代的色鬼 314 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,152 爸跑走了,他逃跑了! 315 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:48,155 等我把你老公關進牢裡 316 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,574 你就能算是單身了 317 00:15:57,498 --> 00:16:00,209 看來荷馬是從這個窗戶逃出去的 318 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,380 我當偵探當了這麼多年 319 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,966 還沒看過受損這麼嚴重的棚架 320 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,592 我知道現況很不樂觀 321 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:10,260 但你想想我們剛剛說的 322 00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:13,555 我老公絕對不可能偷那一幅畫 323 00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:15,474 謝謝你,瑪姬 324 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,726 我已經知道事情的真相了 325 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,103 你是怎麼知道的? 326 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,729 我很樂意跟你解釋 327 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:22,481 等我們一邊吃早餐的時候 328 00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,609 你愛勾引女人的問題很嚴重 329 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,404 我知道,我有在看心理醫師 330 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,572 她今晚會來我家 331 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,908 你出去,快點出去! 332 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,744 (春田藝術博物館) 333 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,875 白巧克力,最孤單的巧克力 334 00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:44,336 荷馬,我就知道你會在這裡 335 00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:46,296 你是怎麼找到我的? 336 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,257 我知道你一定會回到犯罪現場 337 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,217 因為你的罪惡感在作祟 338 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,386 你不能逮捕我,你不是警察 339 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:54,888 你連一般的保險調查員都算不上 340 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:55,931 你是自由調查員 341 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,017 要開請款單才能拿到工資 342 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,852 所以我就能控制 343 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,437 我的會計年度算到什麼時候 344 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,981 你總是這麼設想周到 345 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,693 我不喜歡你,麥納切克 346 00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,486 你家人跟我說了你是怎麼愛上那幅畫 347 00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,488 證明你沒有行竊 348 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:14,283 怎麼會?    他們說到了關鍵 349 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,868 你太笨了,不可能會偷東西 350 00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,369 或許是我偷的 351 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,704 相信我,不是你偷的 352 00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:19,830 我有可能偷 353 00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:22,082 但我的意思是我知道你沒偷 354 00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:24,209 我很聰明    你很笨 355 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:25,502 (春田藝術博物館) 356 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,297 經過我個人對事實和證據的 357 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:29,298 審慎評估之後 358 00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,675 我可以揭曉是誰偷了《女詩人》 359 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,302 是麥瑟森小姐 360 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,513 你這次公司上市胎死腹中 361 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,348 你需要現金讓你朋友 362 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,184 繼續住在雜交蚊子幼蟲體裡 363 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:41,935 這種事我看多了 364 00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:43,812 這不可能,護送保鏢 365 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,689 從來沒有讓畫作離開過他們的視線 366 00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,983 問題就出在保鏢身上 367 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:54,656 你找到了那兩位保鏢的同卵雙胞胎 368 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,909 花錢請他們對自己的兄弟行搶 369 00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:02,122 這是你最後一次破解謎團了 370 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,001 做得好,麥納切克先生 371 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,002 真沒想到 372 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,296 犯人會是我們從來沒見過的人 373 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,924 沒錯,她真是白費力氣了 374 00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:13,550 偷到一幅… 375 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,260 已經被別人偷了的畫 376 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,179 就是你偷的 377 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,306 你太急了,老闆 378 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:22,392 你怎麼能指控我做出這種事? 379 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,978 可是那幅畫在離開會場前 380 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,605 一直存放在我們的金庫裡 381 00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:28,440 是哪個拍賣會場? 382 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,527 其實伯恩斯 383 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,904 已經在真正的拍賣會場隔壁 384 00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:35,572 蓋了一間一樣的建築物 385 00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:37,658 真品從來沒有離開過金庫 386 00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,993 伯恩斯就下手行竊了 387 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,288 是現在嗎?    是的 388 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:52,548 我的畫! 389 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:55,092 幸好你沒被那些人偷走 390 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:56,635 可惜我揍了一個女人 391 00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:57,928 又揍了一個老人 392 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:01,306 只是為了這個禮品店托特包 393 00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:02,641 (麗莎辛普森) 394 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:03,809 麗莎? 395 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:07,437 我原本也沒有打算要偷 396 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:13,026 那幅畫是我和爸爸第一次有的共同點 397 00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:15,946 我不忍看他失去這幅畫 398 00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:17,322 (拍賣會場,非員工止步) 399 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:21,994 所以我就趁那幅畫還沒上場拍賣前 400 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,413 用我的帆布托特包掉包 401 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,583 我知道這樣做不對 402 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,126 但讓某個億萬富翁 403 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,670 把藝術品藏起來更是不對的 404 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,297 那樣我爸這種人 405 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,048 就永遠沒辦法愛上這幅畫了 406 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,347 那《女詩人》是歸誰所有? 407 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,057 一千萬美金! 408 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,059 這幅畫要歸還給市政府 409 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,853 但我們要掛在哪裡呢? 410 00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,605 我們要把博物館拆掉了 411 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,607 拍賣藝術品拿到的錢 412 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,609 政府拿去做什麼了? 413 00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:55,027 我們要蓋 414 00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:57,988 某個非常有必要性的公共建設 415 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,450 (春田美式足球場) 416 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,744 我愛的所有東西都在同一個地方 417 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,871 啤酒、熱狗 418 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,707 廁所、畫作、女兒 419 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,001 瑪姬,你真是個大美人 420 00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:12,711 但你對你的老公非常忠誠 421 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:13,962 我尊重這點 422 00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,714 但如果情況不是這樣 423 00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:17,049 我會不會有機會呢? 424 00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:20,385 你是我見過最自大 425 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,387 又最盲目的王八… 426 00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:25,224 我喜歡你,麥納切克 427 00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:41,406 (收帳單,自由保險調查) 428 00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:51,833 (性愛成癮戒治匿名聚會) 429 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,919 (燈芯絨床單) 430 00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:56,004 (年度波蘭裔美籍男性)