1
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:03,962
（自動飛行雪橇）

2
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:06,464
（雪天使不是被凍死的遊民）

3
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,429
生日快…

4
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:17,642
（只剩下２３間實體商店）

5
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,737
（不良品）

6
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,088
（搞錯節日了）

7
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,214
（喝過的蛋奶酒）

8
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:49,507
（中華料理）

9
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:50,508
（請施捨）

10
00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:12,363
看！

11
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,210
看！

12
00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:40,934
把垃圾撿起來

13
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,602
塞進袋子裡

14
00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:44,479
肯德基炸雞桶

15
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:46,147
塞進袋子裡

16
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:49,943
一小時賺四分錢，還有免費菸可抽

17
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:52,487
噢，好耶！

18
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:55,406
小姐們，你們做得很好

19
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,325
可以準備移動到下一個地點了

20
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,378
荷馬！

21
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,380
我起床了！起床了！怎麼了？

22
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,298
真希望你剛剛沒撞到他們

23
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,676
有人剛「撿」了這條高速公路呢

24
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:15,760
小聲點

25
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,387
高速公路還不知道它是被撿來的

26
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,514
不管怎樣，我們都一樣愛它

27
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,684
好吧，幸好這趟旅程的車子是租來的

28
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,602
這樣我就不用洗車了

29
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,690
我快要暈車了

30
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,650
快開窗，把頭伸到車外面

31
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,110
不…反正這輛車是租來的

32
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,695
瞄準車內之後就可以發射了

33
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,405
有人想吃焦糖蘋果嗎？

34
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:36,489
租來的車喔

35
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,574
不了，謝謝

36
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:38,616
還是有人想幫狗剃毛？

37
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,118
租來的車喔

38
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,494
謝了，我不要

39
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:42,996
（隨你撞優質租車）

40
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:44,164
（預設電台皆為噪音）

41
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,290
把糖果給我

42
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,128
有什麼好笑的？

43
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,130
你把車開走時，油箱是半滿的

44
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:53,673
現在有四分之三滿

45
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,175
我決定叫你聖誕老公公

46
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,011
因為你送了我們四分之一的汽油

47
00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,388
沒有人，沒有任何人

48
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:02,182
可以叫我聖誕老公公

49
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,726
你要幹嘛，老爸？

50
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,728
我要消耗掉四分之一的油

51
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,855
坐著不動，一直浪費汽油

52
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,273
這才叫作美國人！

53
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,877
做得好，兒子！

54
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:34,714
很遺憾，你的左腳擦到邊界線了

55
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:35,798
傳球未完成

56
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,383
老爸，我想尿尿

57
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,178
我知道這輛車是租來的

58
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:41,721
但我比較想去森林裡面尿

59
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,223
那我陪你去吧

60
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,641
拜託，老爸，我都十歲了

61
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,392
我可以自己尿尿，這又不難

62
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,727
尿完抖一下就行了

63
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:48,895
現在人尿完還要抖一下啊？

64
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,274
把眼前的事物描繪出來

65
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,411
（請勿用力踩）

66
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,253
霸子，你在哪裡？

67
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,296
霸子！　　　　那是什麼鬼？

68
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:18,424
霸子！

69
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:21,678
霸子！

70
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,554
我不知道，但我不能開槍

71
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:24,681
牠看起來懷有身孕

72
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:25,765
好吧，那我們就等牠生了

73
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,183
再把母子倆一網打盡

74
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:29,394
（隨你撞優質租車）

75
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,896
你到底跑去哪裡鬼混了？

76
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,064
霸子呢？

77
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,149
這件事對一個母親來說

78
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,901
肯定是晴天霹靂

79
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,903
我要講得婉轉一點

80
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:41,322
你之前不是說想要一個裁縫間

81
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,366
但我們一直不知道該放在哪裡嗎？

82
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,118
我的天啊…

83
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,494
我親愛的兒子呀

84
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:47,662
別擔心，老路

85
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,580
我這個人最擅長的

86
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:52,125
就是安撫情緒緊張的家屬

87
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,085
女士…

88
00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:55,295
你能形容一下

89
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,046
令公子的骨骼長什麼樣子嗎？

90
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,382
你這個沒用的…

91
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,134
聽著，你兒子肯定沒事的

92
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,427
我們已經在這片地區佈下天羅地網

93
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,929
讓搜救隊分散在森林裡搜尋

94
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,310
不好意思，因為網格的關係

95
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:11,769
我們得先暫停搜救

96
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,771
叫幾輛救護車來了

97
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:20,069
我的兒子到底去哪了？

98
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,450
這裡是哪裡？

99
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:41,799
（１９６２年戰略空軍司令部協定）

100
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:42,842
（最高機密）

101
00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:44,510
歡迎來到戰略空軍司令部

102
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:45,762
春田作戰分部

103
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,055
如果你正在看這部影片

104
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,431
表示地球上一半的人都死光了

105
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:50,558
你才死了呢，死翹翹將軍

106
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,602
在你身後的是泰坦二號飛彈

107
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,520
我國最重要的一道防禦線

108
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,189
有了這個飛彈，就能將死傷人數

109
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:57,982
降至令人滿意的兩億人

110
00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,984
（美國空軍）

111
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,279
是個啞彈

112
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,031
媽媽咪呀！

113
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,242
霸子？　　　　霸子！

114
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,870
霸子！　　　　霸子！

115
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,497
別擔心，這隻狗是整個郡裡

116
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,624
最厲害的尋血犬

117
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,959
你的兒子有很重的體臭嗎？

118
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,878
沒有　　　　那我們就幫不上忙了

119
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,674
拜託，霸子，別鬧了！

120
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,760
整個鎮上的人都在找你

121
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,512
連那個住在破窗鬼屋的

122
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,764
恐怖老阿伯都在找你

123
00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,682
就是霸子打破我家窗戶的！

124
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,601
我家本來很正常的！

125
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:35,686
好啦，大家聽好

126
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,355
這裡有個男童失蹤了

127
00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:39,899
你們這些敗類們要去幫忙找人

128
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,401
我們不是小姐們嗎？

129
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:42,610
你們是敗類小姐

130
00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:43,861
搞清楚，警長

131
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,948
我們還沒填飽肚子，都快要暴動了

132
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,449
這是失蹤男童的照片

133
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:50,326
從來沒見過

134
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,246
（霸子去死吧）

135
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,915
每個人身上都有些悔不當初的刺青

136
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:58,209
我會找到那男孩

137
00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:01,003
然後用他的鮮血向你致敬

138
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,798
喝人鮮血我是怎麼教你的，鮑伯？

139
00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,341
親自動手，絕不說嘴

140
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,429
不要問…

141
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,557
國家為你做了什麼

142
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,309
問問你自己能為國家做些什麼

143
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:17,311
我認識的總統感覺不會說這種話

144
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,313
（牛奶）

145
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,360
（手榴彈）

146
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,447
自由！

147
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,075
我已經聞到春田市的味道了！

148
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,127
努力嘗試從來都沒有好結果

149
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,547
二兵荷馬，你這個水桶腰肥宅！

150
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,841
你覺得這很好笑嗎？

151
00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:49,969
看我怎麼把你的笑容揍歪

152
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,846
別傷害我的荷馬小親親！

153
00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:53,306
你最好別看，女士

154
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,142
有電話？

155
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,935
拜託要有通話音

156
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:00,938
謝天謝地！

157
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,983
我要找一位高小姐

158
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:06,235
高山的高，單名一個丸

159
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,862
等一下，我問問看

160
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:11,574
高丸小姐？高丸？

161
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,410
別鬧了，高丸，你在哪裡亂晃？

162
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,121
你這個小混蛋…

163
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,790
被我抓到，我就把啤酒機塞進你嘴裡

164
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,959
把你灌到從耳朵裡噴出泡沫！

165
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,675
我放棄了

166
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,885
如果你找到霸子

167
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,345
記得把他的午餐費拿來給我

168
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,555
我是絕不放棄的

169
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:35,890
為什麼？

170
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,558
跟到處找霸子相比

171
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,977
找一個新朋友要困難多了

172
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,730
我可以當你的新朋友啊

173
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:43,981
你說什麼？

174
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,775
沒有，閉嘴啦！

175
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:48,903
霸子的幸運帽！

176
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,824
霸子？你在下面嗎？

177
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:55,701
米爾豪斯！

178
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:58,120
我這輩子從沒這麼高興能見到你

179
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,790
真是多謝你沒注意到我的新髮型

180
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,124
把你的手機丟給我

181
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,128
我去找人來幫忙！

182
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,505
包在我身上！

183
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,719
我為了兒子點了這些祈福蠟燭

184
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,012
瑪姬，親愛的

185
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,305
萬一他以為這裡是教堂的話

186
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,765
那他就永遠不會回來了

187
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,351
目前收到來自７８％搜尋區域的回報

188
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:23,604
第六台預測霸子辛普森已經死亡

189
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,440
沒錯，自稱廢物的霸子辛普森

190
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,025
在十歲時不幸身亡

191
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,527
現在我們來看看

192
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,487
他最有可能死亡的地區

193
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,370
麗莎，我有霸子的消息了

194
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,080
我們都已經知道了

195
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:45,835
米爾豪斯，你曾經是他最好的朋友

196
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,464
你是來這裡幹嘛的？

197
00:09:51,882 --> 00:09:53,759
我本來是想告訴她霸子還活著

198
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:57,054
但抱著她就跟抱著哈利霍斯一樣棒

199
00:09:57,388 --> 00:10:00,933
我想在這個悲傷的時刻前來安慰你

200
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,022
夠了！搜救行動終止！

201
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,189
找到人了嗎？

202
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,316
沒有，那孩子死了

203
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,277
不！不可能的！

204
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:12,361
老天爺啊

205
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:15,990
為什麼要把我的目標搶先一步幹掉？

206
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,577
讓我死了吧，可惡的耙子

207
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,082
（春田監獄）

208
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,250
（春田監獄精神治療室）

209
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,418
（把精神病變成反社會人格）

210
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:30,338
鮑伯，關於霸子的死，你可以這樣想

211
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:32,882
你自由了，你完全解脫了

212
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,134
這個掉下來了

213
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:38,054
你有沒有想過如果改邪歸正

214
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,723
人生將會是什麼樣子？

215
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,308
我是命中注定要當壞人的

216
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:46,145
了解，我們來做心理練習怎麼樣？

217
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:48,564
如果我把枷鎖解開，你會乖乖的嗎？

218
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,565
你試試看

219
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,778
把霸子剪下來

220
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:56,530
想像你把他從自己的人生中排除

221
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,700
別聽他們說的，鮑伯

222
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,160
我還活著

223
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,378
你還好嗎，鮑伯？

224
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,046
我不相信他已經死了

225
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:15,383
我要親手把他的骨頭取出來熬湯！

226
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,804
我為什麼總是要給他們剪刀呢？

227
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:25,685
（禪修以及維護飛彈的奧祕）

228
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,062
你好

229
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,980
老媽，是我啦，你們還沒離婚吧？

230
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,357
我的天啊…

231
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,901
他還活著！而且嘴巴還是一樣賤！

232
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,450
上路前再給我一個擁抱好嗎？

233
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,953
長路迢迢，一個不太夠

234
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,081
改天見

235
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,587
你好啊，霸子…的朋友

236
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,131
霸子還活著…

237
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,632
帶我去找他

238
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,384
想找到他，先幹掉我

239
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:01,721
但你殺了我，就永遠找不到他了

240
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:03,305
真是個難題

241
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,765
該怎麼破解呢？

242
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:09,103
告訴我，小朋友，你喜歡輕歌劇嗎？

243
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:11,105
怎麼說？

244
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,314
預備，起

245
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,526
我來唱首歌給你聽

246
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:19,113
唱給我聽吧

247
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:20,364
一個患了相思病的傻子

248
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,699
對著月亮唱著歌

249
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,909
他從訕笑的人群中逃出

250
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,162
教堂的喪鐘聲聲入耳…

251
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:27,538
我認輸…

252
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,123
我帶你去找霸子！

253
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,374
他像顆雞蛋一樣脆弱…

254
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,042
別再唱了！

255
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,419
開始跪地求饒…

256
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:35,254
你明明說不會再唱了

257
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,256
這一首歌…

258
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:39,717
是一個花花公子的故事

259
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,178
他從出生起就趾高氣揚…

260
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,972
拜託先對我的耳朵刺一刀好嗎？

261
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:45,973
不要

262
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,602
好吧，我們分頭去找霸子

263
00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:51,604
謝謝你借雪橇車給我們，奈德

264
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:54,148
現在我能幫得上忙的

265
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:56,108
也只有祈禱，祈禱，再祈禱了

266
00:12:57,985 --> 00:12:59,195
那我呢？

267
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:02,198
我才不要坐這個！

268
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,908
當然不是，你要負責拉！

269
00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:06,577
該死的…

270
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,454
早在你八歲時我就拉不動你了！

271
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,248
（法蘭克辛納屈，整死巴布狄倫）

272
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,416
（貓王，為錢而唱）

273
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:13,959
（凱文與囂張花栗鼠）

274
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,421
憤怒老爸，聰明小鬼

275
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,673
永遠不退流行的經典組合

276
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:23,177
孩子們，我們一起唱首歌吧

277
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,720
我想玩牛仔與印第安人

278
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,472
凱文，把印第安戰斧放下

279
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,182
凱文…

280
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:30,518
凱文！

281
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:32,353
你看起來真好笑，戴夫

282
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:33,771
戴夫？戴夫！

283
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,857
天佑美國…

284
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,276
把印第安戰斧還給我

285
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,696
他就在裡面，但如果你跳下去

286
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,615
你就上不來了，而且也會被警察抓住

287
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,493
被將一軍了吧

288
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:48,702
我們不下棋

289
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,955
我們玩的遊戲叫做「你先請」

290
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:52,456
我先？

291
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:53,791
這可是你說的

292
00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:58,712
（蘋果乾）

293
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,882
天啊，我吃膩了這玩意了

294
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,970
（梨子乾）

295
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,264
第１２次嘗試總算成功了！

296
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,682
雜耍鮑伯？

297
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:12,476
沒錯，我找到你的兔子洞了！

298
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,603
你找到我的屁股洞了？

299
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,064
沒錯

300
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,191
還在說這種小流氓式的笑話

301
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:22,361
今天我就讓你爽到飛上天！

302
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:25,781
我真不喜歡他說話的語氣

303
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:31,954
（發射）

304
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,540
鮑伯，發射飛彈要同時轉兩支鑰匙

305
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,000
這樣可以預防神經病

306
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,543
自己亂發射飛彈出去

307
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,461
好吧，要用一顆５０歲的飛彈

308
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,338
把兩個小男孩射出去確實是件難事

309
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,674
這顆飛彈已經５０歲啦

310
00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:45,426
保養得挺不錯的嘛

311
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:46,677
閉嘴啦！

312
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,680
我這叫有眼光，懂得欣賞老人家

313
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,227
來吧，好好聞聞他的味道

314
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,745
你們找到什麼了嗎？

315
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,039
我們找到霸子放襪子的抽屜了

316
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:16,707
快點給我滾回來這裡！

317
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:19,668
你不能開槍，那可是個女人啊

318
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,087
噢，我再也不要跟律師一起打獵了

319
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,214
兒子，我再也走不動了

320
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,258
我想躺在這裡等死

321
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:27,760
爸，你不能死在這裡

322
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,053
你得在養老院裡

323
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,597
花光你畢生積蓄，等器官慢慢衰竭

324
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,265
變成一個沒路用的植物人

325
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,808
那時你才算死得有尊嚴啊

326
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,144
你說得對，兒子，我們還有任務在身

327
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:39,563
我們還是快點挑一棵聖誕樹吧

328
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,231
我們是來找霸子的

329
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:44,610
好啦…但那棵八呎高的樹很不錯吧

330
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,613
禿了一塊，但是轉向牆面就行了

331
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,990
夠了，我聽不下去了

332
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:53,077
救命！　　　　救命！

333
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,161
（發射）

334
00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:56,997
我在太陽馬戲團訓練多年

335
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,166
就是為了這一刻

336
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:00,834
大腸馬戲團還差不多

337
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,628
好，都一樣啦

338
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,966
只差一點點了…

339
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,425
等等，拿錯支了

340
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,803
（發射）

341
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,429
（發射程序已啟動）

342
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,473
倒數五分鐘發射

343
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:23,649
鮑伯，你為什麼要這麼做？

344
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:25,651
理由再明顯不過了

345
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:27,194
就是…

346
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:28,612
等一下

347
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,197
這是顆「我彈殺霸」耶

348
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,282
我用飛彈殺掉霸子

349
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,952
你就為了這個殺掉兩個小孩？

350
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:35,995
我…

351
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:37,663
爸，你看這個腳印

352
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:40,165
要不是雜耍鮑伯，就是俠客歐尼爾

353
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:42,126
才不是我，我要往這裡走

354
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,836
天啊，我迷路了

355
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,504
俠客，能幫個忙嗎？

356
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,630
我又不是超人

357
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,799
你手臂上不是有個超人刺青嗎？

358
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,384
你怎麼這麼了解我？

359
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,428
你嚇到我了，我身上可沒有錢

360
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,599
（發射程序已啟動）

361
00:16:57,725 --> 00:17:00,144
你有沒有想過改邪歸正

362
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:01,562
你的人生將會是什麼樣子？

363
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:03,480
說得對，我這麼才華洋溢

364
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:04,773
我還上過兒童節目呢

365
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,358
把你的問題寄給我們

366
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,860
麻州波士頓３５０郵政信箱

367
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,154
編號０２１３４

368
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,906
你不該這麼做，你失控了，鮑伯

369
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,367
我分不清現實與虛幻了

370
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,292
（撥給心理治療師）

371
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,546
你好　　　　你好，醫師

372
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:28,630
我是鮑伯杜威里格

373
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:29,882
現在方便講話嗎？

374
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:32,301
鮑伯，你竟然會打來，真是太貼心了

375
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,927
多數犯人放我在那裡等死後

376
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,220
很少來關心我

377
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:36,638
（去死吧）

378
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:37,765
我只想問一個問題

379
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,558
我該殺掉這些小鬼嗎？

380
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,894
聽來有人正在面對良心的掙扎

381
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,312
如果你還知道打電話來問

382
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,230
相信你內心已經有答案了

383
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,899
倒數兩分鐘發射

384
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,233
淨空爆破區域

385
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,818
告訴我答案吧，求求你！

386
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,820
他現在不該講電話的

387
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,043
聽起來很像是ＬＧＭ２５Ｃ

388
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:09,713
泰坦二型二號洲際飛彈的點燃程序

389
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,132
我受夠你的胡言亂語了！

390
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,594
好吧，這次算你贏了

391
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,555
所以…你為什麼要救我們？

392
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:19,640
因為我意識到

393
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:22,142
我已經不想殺你了

394
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,187
米爾豪斯，我背上有插著一把刀嗎？

395
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,022
我沒看到

396
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,024
米爾豪斯，我背後有貼

397
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,067
「踢我屁股」的紙條嗎？

398
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,236
我沒看到

399
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,074
他們抱在一起，我沒辦法開槍

400
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:38,742
你手上也沒有槍啊

401
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,536
我就是個老廢物，我知道

402
00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:42,579
（春田雕塑公園）

403
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,665
真是了不起的概念性作品

404
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:45,791
作者是誰？

405
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:47,793
「北美空防司令部」

406
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,419
我看上空俱樂部還差不多咧

407
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:52,089
等等，是不是有滴答聲？

408
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,844
（劇終）

409
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,220
有朝一日

410
00:18:58,345 --> 00:19:00,347
這些都將被人們抹去

411
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,809
（六個月後）

412
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:06,728
（春田監獄）

413
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,940
醫生，我很幸福

414
00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:11,066
等到我的三個無期徒刑

415
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,818
服刑期滿獲釋的時候

416
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:15,195
我想我會開一間花店

417
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,864
那真是太好了，鮑伯

418
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,991
我的病人們不是每個都像你一樣成功

419
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,244
我不需要再讀他的檔案了

420
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:23,245
如果你想要的話

421
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,664
我明早９點現在可以開放預約

422
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,583
１０點也行

423
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:33,213
（多年後）

424
00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:43,682
這是您訂閱的《紐約》雜誌

425
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:46,059
這是《紐約客》雜誌，兩者完全不同

426
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,312
一個是名流人士的花邊八卦

427
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,439
另一個是從威廉肖恩死後

428
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:53,525
就再也稱不上是雜誌的畸形怪胎！

429
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:56,278
我能走了嗎？我還有１５個燈塔要送

430
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:57,863
每個燈塔主人都是怪胎

431
00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,156
我沒有說你是啦

432
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,240
好吧，你走吧

433
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:01,408
我接下來要去把燈泡擦亮

434
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:04,578
在海岸邊漫步，思考人生

435
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:05,913
（霸子去死吧）

436
00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:08,415
每一次潮汐退去，我就再寫一次

437
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:10,125
聽我說！

438
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,418
人生苦短！

439
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,504
別浪費時間在空虛的復仇計畫上！

440
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:15,714
如果你有買信箱

441
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:17,549
我就不用再跟你說話了

442
00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:18,675
好吧