1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,004
♪ ♪
2
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,432
(bell dinging)
3
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:19,561
(burps)
4
00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,980
(whistle blows)
5
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,231
(Lenny yells)
6
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,453
♪ ♪
7
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,538
(playing lively jazz music)
8
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,711
(grunts)
9
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:01,895
(horn honks)
10
00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,107
D'oh!
11
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,942
(grunts)
12
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,945
♪ ♪
13
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,697
FLANDERS:
Okily dokily.
14
00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:17,118
Aw, our own home.
15
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:20,371
♪ ♪
16
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:29,380
(Grampa snoring)
17
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:32,467
All right. Takeout Chinese.
18
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:34,260
Everyone can have
their favorite thing.
19
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,471
Bart, General Tso's chicken.
20
00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:39,390
For Lisa, Pacifist Tso's tofu.
21
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:42,060
For Maggie, Kung Pao Cheerios.
22
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:44,395
And, Homer,
I've got your favorite...
23
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,064
Favorite? That's my favorite.
24
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,941
...MSG.
25
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:51,194
Mmm.
26
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,570
Ah, needs salt.
27
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,280
(cell phone ringing)
28
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:56,866
Y'ello.
29
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,326
Ahoy-hoy, Simpson.
30
00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,120
I have four seats to tonight's
basketball joust,
31
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,205
and you were
at the top of my list.
32
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:14,592
So, what do you say?
33
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:15,969
Thank you, Mr. Burns.
34
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,762
Oh, boy, courtside seats.
35
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,681
I feel like
Billy Crystal's doctor.
36
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:20,974
Who was that?
37
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,976
You'll never believe it.
We just got...
38
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:25,645
HOMER'S BRAIN: Homer, wait.
You don't want to go with them.
39
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,147
Why not? They're my family.
40
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,315
Sweetie, I know that
you're talking to your brain.
41
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,318
Why don't you just do
whatever your heart tells you?
42
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,820
Ugh, not that guy.
43
00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:36,030
(shouts) I'm numb.
44
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,740
Chest pains!
45
00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:43,079
Just go to the game
with your friends.
46
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,747
Brain, you're the greatest.
47
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,583
Is there anything
I can do for you?
48
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,918
Yeah, you could read a book
once in a while.
49
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,420
D'oh!
50
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,591
Carl, I got courtside seats!
51
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,718
Lenny, I got courtside seats!
52
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,845
Barney, I got courtside seats!
53
00:02:58,928 --> 00:02:59,888
I'm in.
54
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,514
Who's on trial?
55
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:04,142
You guys got courtside seats?
I'd love to go.
56
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,144
Just let me lock up
the good liquor.
57
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:12,192
Uh, sorry, we only have
four tickets.
58
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,943
Me, Lenny, Carl and Barney.
59
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,445
You really don't want me?
60
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,280
I, uh, I thought we was friends.
61
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:18,740
Yeah, we did, too.
62
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:20,617
Then we realized
you were serving us beer
63
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:21,951
that's mostly suds.
64
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,621
Also, your chicken wings
weren't chicken.
65
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,623
Hey, meat's meat.
Although none of it was meat.
66
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,166
Look, hey, where we going
with this?
67
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:29,751
You're not invited, Moe.
68
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:32,045
Hey, wha...?
69
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,880
LENNY:
Not invited, not invited.
70
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:36,382
BARNEY:
Who's on trial?
71
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,301
♪ ♪
72
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:50,647
Wow. Wow. I am truly alone
in this world.
73
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,024
ROBOTIC FEMALE VOICE:
No, you're not.
74
00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:55,902
Uh, thanks, uh,
Anti-Suicide Keychain.
75
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:57,111
ROBOTIC FEMALE VOICE:
You're welcome.
76
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:58,529
I care about you...
77
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,073
MOE (on keychain):
Uh, Moe Szyslak.
78
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,574
ROBOTIC FEMALE VOICE:
...very much.
79
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:02,784
(sniffles)
80
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,250
Uh, Moe, about last night...
81
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,960
Yeah, on the house, fellas.
82
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,086
(all gasp)
83
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,129
And I got new cocktail napkins
84
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,048
that ain't just
unpaid parking tickets.
85
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:19,008
See? Yeah, huh?
86
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,468
How about that?
87
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:23,388
Why you being so nice to us
after we rejected you?
88
00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:26,557
Well, maybe the problem
wasn't youse, maybe it was mees.
89
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,810
So, I'se, uh,
sprucing up the bar,
90
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:31,854
trying to make things nice,
you know, like they used to be.
91
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:35,858
Hey! It's the Pin Pals,
our old bowling team!
92
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,610
Those were great times.
93
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,404
Them were the best times.
94
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,656
Closer than brothers,
we was, says I.
95
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:44,742
Then Apu had his octopuses,
and suddenly he didn't have time
96
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,662
to bowl with his buddies
five nights a week.
97
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:49,872
But as I said, great times.
98
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,422
Guys, I think we should
reform the Pin Pals,
99
00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:00,842
but this time with
me, Lenny, Carl and Moe!
100
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,927
(gasps)
Oh, guys, I would love to!
101
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,346
But I can't bowl no more.
102
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,016
I got beer-pull tunnel syndrome.
103
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,893
Ow!
104
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,771
Another, please.
105
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:16,024
Ow!
106
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,193
It's a little short.
107
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,987
(grunts in pain)
108
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:23,823
I guess you'll have to ask
Barney to bowl with ya's.
109
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,451
-Do they have beer?
-Yes.
110
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,703
To bowling!
111
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,371
♪ I get knocked down ♪
112
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,873
♪ But I get up again ♪
113
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,875
♪ You're never
gonna keep me down... ♪
114
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:37,670
Moe, this is for you.
115
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:40,840
Ah.
116
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,967
-What do you say?
-Coach? Terrific!
117
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,970
I love screaming at people
who are trying their best.
118
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,430
OTHERS:
To Moe!
119
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:49,140
What are you doing?
Don't drink that.
120
00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:50,475
You're in training.
121
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:51,726
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
122
00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:54,020
♪ Boys are back in town... ♪
123
00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:58,816
A lot of music in this episode.
124
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,152
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
125
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,696
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
126
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,239
♪ Boys are back in town ♪
127
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,699
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
128
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,409
♪ The boys are back ♪
129
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:09,994
(electricity crackles)
130
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,754
(electricity crackles)
131
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,339
♪ The boys are back in town ♪
132
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:22,799
♪ Boys are back in town ♪
133
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:28,513
♪ I said the boys
are back in town ♪
134
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:31,224
♪ The boys are back in town... ♪
135
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:34,435
Okay, sidekicks,
back in our shadows.
136
00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:42,819
CHOIR:
♪ Hallelujah ♪
137
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,071
♪ Hallelujah. ♪
138
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:55,206
-Yay!
-Yay!
139
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,344
We made it, boys.
140
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:12,140
Going to the state finals
in Capital City!
141
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:13,933
(grunting)
142
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:17,520
Uh, sorry, that's where we store
our extra balls.
143
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,522
Quick! Rest his head!
144
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,233
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
145
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:24,444
Ow! Ow!
146
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,822
MOE:
All right, the state finals.
147
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:31,784
If we win this, the next
tournament is on ESPN8.
148
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,911
All right, guys,
don't be yokels.
149
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,456
Just act like
you seen it all before.
150
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,124
Holy crap!
151
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:39,834
(classical music playing)
152
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,548
(electronic dance music playing)
153
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,477
Uh, it says we're on lane 17.
154
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,021
Wow! Topiary lane numbers.
155
00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,231
I'll bet they're plastic.
156
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,734
Yep, they are,
but don't tell management.
157
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,112
So I guess we're playing
you guys, huh?
158
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,530
Best two out of three.
159
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,908
I'm Reynolds.
We're high-frequency traders.
160
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,494
I was the model for
The Wolf of Wall Street.
161
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,996
I was the model
for American Psycho.
162
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,792
I was a model for toe fungus
in a Dr. Scholl's commercial.
163
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:24,670
-And I was... -I'll give you
$100 to stop talking.
164
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,964
Deal!
165
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,884
Hey, and here's a hundred
for you for looking at me
166
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,845
like I am the most
amazing thing you ever saw.
167
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,723
I think I'm giving you
a $500 look.
168
00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:38,226
Well, here's $400,
and screw you.
169
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:41,270
Wow. I finally found
my path in life:
170
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,647
socio.
171
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,066
Hey, Harold, buddy.
172
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,151
You know, I was wondering...
173
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,530
Excuse me.
Why cheeseburgers?
174
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,115
The cheese holds it together
in flight. Duh.
175
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,952
I mean, why do you throw them
at good people?
176
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,411
Question time is over.
177
00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,330
Really hope that social worker
pays better
178
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:00,957
by the time you grow up.
179
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,625
(chuckles) Social worker.
180
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:05,002
Hey. This little dingus gets it.
181
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,504
All right, little man.
182
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:09,048
From now on,
we're gonna call you McDingus.
183
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:11,092
You're treating me like dirt.
184
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:12,510
(chuckles)
I belong.
185
00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,053
(phone vibrates)
186
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,597
I'm wearing a new hat!
187
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,228
I'm gonna show you
that the one thing in the world
188
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,647
that you're a little bit
good at, I'm better.
189
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:25,898
Okey-doke.
190
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,027
Damn it!
191
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,237
All right, now, listen to me.
192
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,114
These stuffed suits
don't stand a chance
193
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:34,740
against us working joes.
194
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,701
-Because we got...
-Moxie?
195
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:38,202
-Eh, no.
-Uh, grit?
196
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:39,662
Nah, we're pretty grit-less.
197
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,372
Well, what have we got?
198
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:42,873
My stepdad is Lebanese.
199
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,625
We are a damn rainbow!
200
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:45,876
-Yay!
-Yeah!
201
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,176
We win. We win!
202
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,803
The first out of three!
203
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:57,680
Huh! I haven't been
this confident
204
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,974
since I saw La La Land
win Best Picture
205
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,767
and turned off my TV.
206
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:02,935
Good win, you guys.
207
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,145
Lunch is on us.
208
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:06,647
Wow! Is that a Visa
double diamond card?
209
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,442
Yep. Doesn't have to be
inserted or swiped.
210
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,736
-It just knows.
-Wow!
211
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:14,238
-(zapping)
-It can sense that you're poor.
212
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:19,118
Once again they substitute
rhino for narwhal.
213
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:21,495
(scoffs) It's like they think
we won't notice.
214
00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:25,082
Thanks for lunch.
215
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,877
And now you'll be
eating crow for dessert.
216
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,837
Uh, side note--
I have actually eaten crow.
217
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,340
It is not bad.
Tastes like seagull.
218
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:35,926
Chang-stein, I bet you
that I can break down
219
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:40,765
this loser right here
in, oh, 15 seconds.
220
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:44,894
Moe, I would like to ask you
about your last birthday.
221
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,562
W-Why? W-What have you heard?
222
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:47,813
Did you have a party?
223
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,398
-No, sir.
-(Lisa groans)
224
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,317
-Cake? -No.
-(Lisa whimpers)
225
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,736
Ah, man, it looks like
he's tearing Moe a new one.
226
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,529
Well, most of his old ones
are pretty bad,
227
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:57,073
so that could be a good thing.
228
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,658
So, did you leave your house?
229
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,284
No. (sobs)
230
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,327
Any phone calls?
231
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,287
-Y-Yes.
-Meant for you?
232
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,873
No! (sobbing)
233
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:09,043
I pretended to be someone
who was interested
234
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:11,712
in carpet cleaning.
235
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,006
(watch chiming)
236
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:17,551
Um, that's time, and he is
definitely crying, so you win.
237
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,471
Bart, you don't want
to be with these guys.
238
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:21,722
They're monsters.
239
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,974
Hey, their 401(k)s
are monsters.
240
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,686
Do you even know
what a 401(k) is?
241
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,479
I assume it's a gun.
242
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:30,481
Yeah, well, I may not have much,
243
00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:32,775
but I got some things
that matter, huh?
244
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,194
My bar, my friends,
my good name.
245
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:36,529
OTHERS:
Hear, hear!
246
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,989
All right, well, if you believe
in your friends so much,
247
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,867
how about we make
a little wager on the match?
248
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:44,787
-Uh, oh, can I bet
on youse to win? -No.
249
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,790
Careful, Moe.
I got a bad feeling about this.
250
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,334
Just leave us be, huh?
251
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,962
All right, how about this?
If we win the next two games,
252
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:56,006
your bar is ours,
and you have to change
253
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,883
your, uh, good name.
254
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,177
LENNY:
I got a bad feeling.
255
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:02,179
ALL (chanting):
Bad feeling, bad feeling,
256
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,932
(all gasp)
257
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:08,060
But if I win, I want something
I can share with my friends.
258
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,021
Something only a rich guy
like you can give us.
259
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:13,441
Let's do this.
260
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,943
MOE: Look at me, Moe Szyslak,
shaking hands with a guy
261
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:19,196
wearing a shirt worth more than
I'll earn in my entire life.
262
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:23,284
REYNOLDS: Ugh, it feels like
I'm shaking hands with a squid.
263
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:26,287
No, the squid has
a much firmer grip.
264
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:28,706
REYNOLDS:
Hey, Pin Gals.
265
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,916
ALL:
Wha...?
266
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,711
Hey, hey, hey, we ain't afraid
of no bowling shirts.
267
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,880
They're not shirts;
it's compression wear,
268
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,757
which increases blood flow
to our arms
269
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,592
and decreases wind resistance.
270
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:43,721
Oh, yeah!
271
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:45,556
They know two-handed bowling.
272
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:46,891
Hey, we been hustled!
273
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,976
Huh, if you can't trust
hedge fund guys,
274
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:50,269
who can you trust?
275
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:53,147
(pins clatter)
276
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:54,398
Nice toss.
277
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,025
Um, nobody likes suck-ups.
278
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,235
All right? Cheeseburger.
279
00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:01,113
I want to help you
stand up to them.
280
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,323
But they're traders.
281
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:04,617
All we know is
how to collect information.
282
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,744
Everyone has a weak spot.
283
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,997
We will aggregate
their emotional responses
284
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,416
and run a regression
through the data.
285
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,418
Thanks for dumbing it down
for us.
286
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,462
Polish your balls?
287
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:18,506
Man, this alley does everything.
288
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:21,217
Oh, I don't work for the alley.
289
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,427
No, indeed.
290
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,308
Bart?
291
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,310
Hey, Mom, I got
a question for you.
292
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:34,021
-Am I too young to start
drinking vodka? -Yes.
293
00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:36,148
Wish you would've
told me that an hour ago.
294
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,025
Here's a little
"don't tell Homer" money.
295
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,694
If you love money
with all your heart,
296
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,696
the money will never
love you back.
297
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,782
Will having no money
make me happy?
298
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:47,076
No.
299
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,702
Does Bill Gates love his wife?
300
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,121
Melinda? Of course he does.
301
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:54,500
They started a foundation
that does wonderful things.
302
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,502
-With money, right?
-Yes.
303
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:59,630
So, money's the answer
for everything.
304
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,341
Have a C-note, sweetheart.
305
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,552
-She gets it.
-Oh!
306
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:11,141
Whew, they really
kicked our butts.
307
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:14,144
(pants) I'm gonna lose
my bar and my name.
308
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:15,980
No Moe, no tavern, nothing.
309
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:18,566
I'm gonna jump into
that empty elevator shaft!
310
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:19,859
Moe, no!
311
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,110
(panting)
312
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,695
(screams)
313
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:27,449
I just, uh... I can't win.
314
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,660
(straining)
315
00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:32,288
Oh, yeah, now we're
getting somewhere. (grunts)
316
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,000
♪ ♪
317
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,593
All right, we've come
to that time--
318
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,720
the time where I give
that inspirational speech
319
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,430
I've been keeping in my pocket.
320
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:50,639
(clears throat)
321
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,808
You have given
this lonely little man
322
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,561
a reason to get up
every single day,
323
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:57,938
and that is why
I love youse, Marge.
324
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,857
I mean, uh, Pin Pals.
Pin Pals.
325
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,150
(cheering)
326
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,568
And we got a secret weapon.
327
00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:04,778
This guy is sober.
328
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:08,032
I am, because of the love
of your sister.
329
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:09,617
Now, just so you know,
that was,
330
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,327
that was a catfish thing, right?
331
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,953
What's a "catfish" thing?
332
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,955
I'll explain it to you
after the match.
333
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,290
Just don't drink.
334
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:18,876
You know how, uh,
how Miriam hates it.
335
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:22,463
You know, you sister looks
just like Jennifer Lawrence.
336
00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:25,174
And all her pictures say
"Getty Images."
337
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,593
Yeah, that's-that's a problem
with your computer.
338
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,970
Just stay sober, huh?
339
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,055
Mm-hmm.
340
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:33,724
Huh?
341
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:36,226
(choir singing ethereal music)
342
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:43,192
Hey, have you ever tasted
liquid gold?
343
00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:51,784
You realize that was
a thousand-dollar swallow.
344
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,872
Return... to me.
345
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,958
(classical music playing)
346
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:04,505
(Chewbacca-like growl)
347
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:08,175
("Little Green Bag" by
George Baker Selection playing)
348
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:10,511
♪ ♪
349
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,519
♪ Yeah. ♪
350
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:25,734
(music stops)
351
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,657
Oh, what do you want?
352
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,617
Fair warning:
we have combed through
353
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:37,246
all the emotional data on you
to find your soft targets.
354
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,956
What the hell
are you talking about?
355
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,209
You'll see, in just 15 seconds.
356
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,670
Reynolds,
artificial intelligence
357
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:47,589
is just three months away
from taking your job.
358
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,592
Without my job,
I... I'm just a douche.
359
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,678
You don't know
that the other two
360
00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,596
are sleeping with your wife.
361
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,683
I thought you were, but you?!
362
00:16:57,766 --> 00:16:59,727
You're all about your BMW,
363
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,104
but you couldn't afford
the sport package.
364
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,231
-(Wilhelm scream)
-(buzzer sounds)
365
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:08,402
And I win, just like
all good people always win.
366
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:11,071
-McDingus.
-Yes, Father?
367
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:14,033
Throw this at your sister.
368
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,367
You won't do it, Bart.
369
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,036
Why not?
It's you and it's me,
370
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,038
and it wastes food.
371
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:21,040
You won't do it
because, deep down,
372
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,292
there's something weird
that connects us.
373
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,376
You're crazy.
374
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,961
Neither of us admits it,
375
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,296
but it's there.
376
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,339
I hold myself out to you.
377
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:32,676
Go on, make my face
the home of the Whopper.
378
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,845
I-I can't do it.
379
00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:37,222
You do like me. You do!
380
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:40,601
And we'll always keep this
burger as a symbol of our fr...
381
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:42,436
(chewing noisily)
382
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:45,522
May I wax your alley?
383
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,191
Will you get out of here?!
384
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:49,985
All right, this is it, the
tenth frame, the final frame.
385
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,322
The frame where you start
looking for your regular shoes.
386
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,076
All right, Barney,
just do your thing. No pressure.
387
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:58,577
Here's a picture of my sister
388
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,621
in the movie
Silver Linings Playbook.
389
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,289
-Take a look.
-(burps)
390
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:04,583
Hey, you guys liquored him up!
391
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:08,420
Don't worry, Moe, I can still
win the spelling bee.
392
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,880
"Recidivism."
393
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:12,299
"R"... um...
394
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,510
Eh, because of
this idiot, Homer,
395
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,011
we need three strikes from you.
396
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,514
I just want to know what
it's like to be a winner, huh?
397
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:19,723
Just one time.
398
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,683
What about that
Women in Film award?
399
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,811
-No, I stole that.
-(others gasp)
400
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:26,897
Okay, Moe, for you, I'll do it.
401
00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:34,154
We're gonna win. I'm not gonna
have to start over again!
402
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:39,743
Because starting over, uh,
what would that even mean?
403
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,829
("La Vie en rose" playing)
404
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,460
(ship horn blows)
405
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,254
♪ ♪
406
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:00,264
That could be my reality.
407
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:02,432
Oh, my God,
I got to lose this match.
408
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:03,809
Homer, no!
409
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:06,311
-Give me the ball!
-I need it to bowl!
410
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,813
I don't want to win!
411
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,648
You're the worst coach ever!
412
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:11,483
-(grunting)
-Just give me the damn ball!
413
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,120
(cheering)
414
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,663
What's wrong, Moe?
415
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:27,291
-Yeah, we won.
-Nothing. I just got to go back
416
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:29,459
to the worst thing
in the world, huh?
417
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,628
Being me.
(sighs heavily)
418
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:34,965
The guy you wouldn't even invite
to a basketball game.
419
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,595
Wha... uh,
d-did somebody say "wait"?
420
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,847
-OTHERS: No.
-Well, I wouldn't come back now
421
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,515
if you begged me.
422
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,184
-LENNY: Wait!
-Yeah?
423
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,810
Just making a point.
424
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,900
Surprise!
425
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,610
You guys are my friends.
426
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,070
-That's right.
-We sure are.
427
00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:59,281
And we're gonna have
a big party!
428
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:02,034
Right after we get back
from the basketball game.
429
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,248
Eh, salt of the earth there.
430
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,419
All right, guys,
since we won the championship,
431
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,338
those hedge fund do-rags
have to deliver
432
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:18,675
an experience for me and my pals
that only they can bring.
433
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,135
When does it start?
434
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,846
Right about... now.
435
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:31,313
Welcome to how I always feel.
436
00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:18,443
Shh!
437
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,615
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH