1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,006
(thunder rumbling)
2
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:12,637
I'm scared, Mom.
3
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,097
What if they take me?
4
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:16,016
Don't worry, Barterfinger.
5
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,851
You're always the last.
6
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:21,396
Even boxes of stale raisins
go before you, Butterfinger--
7
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:22,981
I mean, Barterfinger.
8
00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:24,482
(gasps)
9
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:26,276
No one ever wants the apple.
10
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,987
They must be afraid
there's a razor blade in me.
11
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:31,406
Yeah. That's the reason.
12
00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:33,992
Maybe you'll be
dipped in caramel.
13
00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:35,952
Oh, whoop-dee-doo.
14
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,120
(all gasping)
15
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,788
What the... Where am I going?
16
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,915
You're going to heaven, Dad.
17
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,501
GRAMPA: Those pearly gates
look a lot like teeth!
18
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,253
Change is always hard.
19
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:47,005
Well, I guess that...
20
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:49,215
(Grampa screaming)
21
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,301
Cigarette breath!
22
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,306
Oh, thank God.
23
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,058
We made it through the night.
24
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:03,271
And now you're on a high shelf,
25
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:07,150
where they'll forget
about you forever!
26
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:10,320
(crying):
Why won't the earth take me?
27
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:13,364
I hear you, my friend.
28
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,867
Mmm, candy.
29
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,619
Homer, no!
30
00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:18,953
Don't be silly, honey.
31
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,580
Chocolate doesn't feel anything.
32
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,457
No! God, no!
33
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,084
Dad...!
34
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,419
I can't listen to this horror!
35
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,754
Okay, I'm on it.
36
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:28,963
(screams stops abruptly)
37
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,381
Thank you.
38
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,051
(chewing noisily)
39
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,265
♪ ♪
40
00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:47,148
(The Exorcist
theme music playing)
41
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,909
(thunder crashes)
42
00:01:57,992 --> 00:01:59,994
♪ ♪
43
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:12,507
It's here!
Maggie's first Pazuzu!
44
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,342
Your father
ordered this because...
45
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,219
Mm, why did you order this?
46
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,054
I thought it was pizza.
47
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,806
Yeah, I'll send it back
tomorrow.
48
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:22,100
Tonight we have
a cocktail party.
49
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,935
And we came early.
50
00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:27,188
And I left my face
on your hand towel.
51
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,773
(Marge grumbles)
52
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:30,692
Hmm.
53
00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:32,277
(humming a melody)
54
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,072
(groans)
55
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,490
Don't worry, Maggie.
56
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,826
While Mommy and Daddy
carouse downstairs,
57
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,078
you'll be here
in the dark with Pazuzu!
58
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,206
(to "When Irish Eyes Are
Smiling): ♪ When Pazuzu's eyes ♪
59
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,666
♪ Are glaring ♪
60
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:50,420
♪ It's time to go to bed ♪
61
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,631
♪ You'll see
demon shadows fighting ♪
62
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:57,427
♪ But it's just
inside your head ♪
63
00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:01,431
♪ When Pazuzu's eyes
are staring ♪
64
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,726
♪ The moonlight will turn red ♪
65
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,853
♪ 'Cause Pazuzu's ♪
66
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:10,106
♪ In your nightmares ♪
67
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,109
♪ Until we all ♪
68
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,987
♪ Are dead. ♪
69
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,405
Sweet dreams, Maggie.
70
00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:19,490
Don't let the Beelzebubs bite.
71
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,034
(door creaks)
72
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,286
♪ ♪
73
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:25,997
-(piano playing)
-(lively chatter)
74
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,957
Nobody's eating my chowder.
75
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,376
Maybe I can take it
back home with me.
76
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:38,968
Maggie, sweetie,
you should be in bed.
77
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,638
(demonic voice):
No one leaves alive.
78
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,932
Ooh, her first words!
79
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,558
Did someone get that
on their phone?
80
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,727
LENNY:
Aw, she's got red eye.
81
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,687
She's a demon from hell!
82
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,606
Also, generic cola?
83
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:52,899
Really? (chuckles)
84
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:54,609
Cocktail fail.
85
00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:55,860
(groans)
86
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,028
Thank you.
87
00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:58,238
(all screaming)
88
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:04,619
(cell door slams)
89
00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:07,080
Well, at least
we still got the liquor.
90
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,041
(whines, grunts)
91
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,627
(gurgles)
92
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,212
Ah, my chowder!
93
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,297
Someone's starting
the terrible twos.
94
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,757
(chuckles)
95
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,426
(demonic voice): Someone's
having an affair with his nurse.
96
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,847
-Say "ah."
-A... dulterer.
97
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,058
179? I...
98
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,059
(grunts)
99
00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:30,395
(choking laugh)
100
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:33,815
I'm afraid that little devil
needs an exorcism.
101
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:37,068
I'm afraid they didn't
teach me those at Pepperdine.
102
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:38,403
♪ ♪
103
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,072
Bible ribbons, that'll hold her.
104
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:43,324
(grunting)
105
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,784
-(groans)
-(toy siren wailing)
106
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,412
Oh, good, the police are here.
107
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,122
(chokes)
108
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,707
(owl hoots)
109
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:54,335
When is that exorcist
gonna get here?
110
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,795
Marge, we'll be fine.
111
00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:57,964
Maggie just learned
what a circle is.
112
00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:02,385
HOMER: Okay, whoever she stops
at has to change her diaper,
113
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,721
which appears to contain
flaming lava.
114
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,390
MARGE: Oh, you just never
want to change a diaper.
115
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,891
(Homer whimpers)
116
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,393
I'll handle this.
117
00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:15,315
-(gasps)
-(shouting gibberish)
118
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:17,734
(muffled gibberish)
119
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,819
(losing breath)
120
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:24,615
Oops. Sorry about that.
121
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,367
First thing,
we'll see just how powerful
122
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,703
our demon here truly is.
123
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,580
The chicken goes...
124
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,291
(demonic roaring)
125
00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,085
Well, there's only
one answer here:
126
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,629
-cut her loose!
-Are you sure?
127
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,840
If you can't trust
a Catholic priest with a child,
128
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,050
who can you trust?
129
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,134
(Marge groans)
130
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,764
♪ ♪
131
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:54,771
By the power of Christ,
I say devil be out!
132
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,439
That's all you've got?
133
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,107
Well, I say it three times.
134
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,359
This guy's good.
135
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,943
Devil be out!
136
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,154
I am Pazuzu,
137
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:06,324
demon of the southwest wind.
138
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:09,702
Wait, wait, so you're not even
as powerful as the south wind
139
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,162
or the west wind?
140
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,747
How lame is that?
141
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:14,248
I used to be very important.
142
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:15,500
Google it.
143
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,335
-Devil be out!
-(thunder crashes)
144
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:19,879
Google it!
145
00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:24,258
♪ ♪
146
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,929
Your baby is saved.
147
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,764
Fantastic.
148
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:32,183
She's not going to be
a religious weirdo, is she?
149
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,060
-No.
-Fantastic.
150
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:35,311
Now hush.
151
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,480
Pazuzu is still among us.
152
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:38,815
But where?
153
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:42,151
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
154
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,486
(gasps) Bart?
155
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,279
(demonic voice):
Let me out, let me out!
156
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,990
This boy has the darkest soul
I've ever seen.
157
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,910
It's worse than working
for David Schwimmer!
158
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:54,163
Yo, Pazuzu, grow me some horns.
159
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,373
(Homer chuckles)
160
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:58,376
Those aren't horns,
those are nubs. (laughs)
161
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,878
No, no, no!
162
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:03,840
(nasally): Well, at least
it'll get me out of jury duty.
163
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,425
D'oh!
164
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,263
♪ ♪
165
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:13,975
♪ Lisa, Lisa
wants a better life ♪
166
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:17,937
♪ Lisa, Lisa,
go under the knife ♪
167
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:21,899
♪ Homer, Homer
got a button wife. ♪
168
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:25,111
So, anyone want
to pick up litter
169
00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:26,737
at the park today?
170
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,072
How about you, Maggie?
171
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,241
She's still got
a touch of Pazuzu.
172
00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:31,826
At least she never threw up.
173
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,911
(demonic retching)
174
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,669
That's just great.
175
00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,796
Everywhere but the sink.
176
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,633
(groans) Sometimes I think
I was born in the wrong family.
177
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,552
(cat meowing)
178
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,220
Oh? Hey, Mr. Cat.
179
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,222
What are you playing with?
180
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,016
A secret door?
181
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:58,019
We don't have smoke alarms,
but we have this?
182
00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:00,646
HOMER (in distance):
Smoke is its own alarm.
183
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,773
No, no, Snowball, come back!
184
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,859
It's too dangerous!
185
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:12,200
Sometimes tiny doors
lead to big opportunities.
186
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:15,244
-(gasps) You could talk?
-Indeed.
187
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,039
For centuries, the cat has been
the symbol of intelligence,
188
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:19,790
the otherworld savoir faire--
189
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,375
Ooh, shiny!
190
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,377
Oh, there it is. Where'd it go?
191
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,129
There it is. Where'd it go?
192
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,881
There it is.
Where'd it go?
193
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,216
(clears throat) Enough.
194
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,384
Let's go meet your other family.
195
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,720
(gasps) Other family?
196
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:36,641
Already the talking cat isn't
the most interesting thing.
197
00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:38,726
-(door creaks)
-(Lisa gasps)
198
00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:46,609
Whoa! For a Halloween show
middle segment, this is amazing.
199
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,694
-(Homer humming a melody)
-(Bart chewing noisily)
200
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:54,408
Every girl's dream,
a perfect family.
201
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,578
(screams)
202
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,664
Good morning, sleepyhead.
203
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,124
For breakfast, tofu or kale?
204
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,960
Oh, that's nice.
205
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,836
But what's with the button eyes?
206
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,339
We don't all have
button eyes, silly.
207
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,049
Some have button mouths.
208
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,842
(muffled):
What's up?!
209
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:15,179
Lisa, would you like
to jam with us?
210
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,722
You like jazz?
211
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,522
(lively jazz music playing)
212
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,613
You're all good,
but not better than me.
213
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,865
I wish I could stay forever.
214
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,742
Oh, but you can.
215
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:39,161
All right. Let me guess.
216
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,290
Do you have to sew buttons
over my eyes?
217
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,958
Don't worry, sugar plum,
218
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:45,793
we'll give you
a button to bite on
219
00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,378
while we sew 'em on.
220
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:49,755
-Aah!
-Hold steady.
221
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,050
(panting)
222
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,052
Oh, sweetie,
you're just in time.
223
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,846
I killed a snake
with your saxophone and...
224
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,180
Can you blow its head out?
225
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,683
Here, let me just wipe the blood
off the mouthpiece.
226
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,560
Buttons, please.
227
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,065
Hmm, something's missing.
228
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:11,444
Didn't we have a kid
between Bart and the baby?
229
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:14,405
Little smarty pants,
plays the flute, I think.
230
00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:16,741
Lisa. She's been gone for days.
231
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,701
And the police
have been no help.
232
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,746
That's not true. I helped you
reassemble that high chair.
233
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,749
Damn it!
234
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,834
(Wiggum grunting)
235
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:31,756
Well, we got two kids now,
so no favoritism.
236
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:34,634
Maggie will get Lisa's room,
Maggie will get Lisa's clothes,
237
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,218
Bart will get Lisa's homework.
238
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,096
Cowabunga!
239
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,264
(Marge humming)
240
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,433
(gasps)
Bart! How'd you find me?
241
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:43,893
I had an informant.
242
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,062
I know, he can talk.
243
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,147
He can? I just followed him in.
244
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:51,233
Oh, God. Now I'll
have to talk to him.
245
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,445
Uh, I don't think
he's coming back.
246
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:56,280
How can you be so calm?
247
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,324
I bore both those children.
248
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:01,118
Hey, your stories aren't great,
but I wouldn't call them boring.
249
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,453
(groans):
Oh.
250
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,538
I'm going in there now.
251
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,752
You really did it
this time, Homer.
252
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,629
You lost your family.
253
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:13,923
Wait, you can speak
on this side?
254
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,633
Yes, I just don't like to.
255
00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,343
Makes the dog feel inferior.
256
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:18,594
(whining bark)
257
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,595
All right.
258
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,305
(grunting)
259
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,932
Oh! So tight.
260
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,768
Why did I eat
that second lunch at lunch?
261
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,645
Someone kick me in the ass!
262
00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:29,313
(grunts) Thank you!
263
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,318
What is it about this world
that's so great?
264
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:37,154
The Homer in this world
doesn't pass gas.
265
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,740
That was a three-button job.
266
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,951
Would you like to have two eyes?
267
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,620
We can talk to each other
while you watch TV.
268
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,915
Just what Homer needs,
an excuse to get lazier.
269
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:49,375
Why, you little...
270
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:53,587
I'll lazy you,
you otherworldly...
271
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,715
-What the...
-That was my Bart!
272
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,968
Boy, sure is hard to see
with buttons on your eyes.
273
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,970
D'oh!
274
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,055
(gasps)
You killed my husband!
275
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:08,477
HOMER: Spider wife, dead son,
two girls with button eyes?
276
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:11,564
I think this marriage has
finally gotten out of its rut.
277
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,233
(vacuum whirring)
278
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:17,194
Yep, I got everything
just the way I want it,
279
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:20,322
including an extra me to go
to parent-teacher conferences.
280
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,534
Oh! Bart drew this picture
of his family.
281
00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,745
Now we're getting visits
from a social worker
282
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,288
and an exterminator.
283
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,831
I'll be ready.
284
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,835
And I've learned
no matter how bad things are,
285
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:35,796
they can get much, much worse.
286
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,007
(muffled):
Huh, you're telling me.
287
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,842
Haw... haw.
288
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:44,305
(instruments warming up)
289
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:45,765
-(clears throat)
-(instruments stop)
290
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,559
No one will be seated
during the third act
291
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,060
of this Halloween show.
292
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,605
What you're about to see
is so disgusting
293
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:55,733
you'll watch Game of Thrones
to calm down.
294
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,735
You have been warned.
295
00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,820
♪ ♪
296
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,542
Man, am I jealous of you guys.
297
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,587
Two weeks in Lima, Ohio,
with Patty and Selma
298
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,672
while I'm stuck here working.
299
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,550
It's gonna be lonely.
So lonely.
300
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,677
Well, if you really
want us to stay...
301
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,846
We've already kissed good-bye
and the car heard it!
302
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:29,809
(tires screeching)
303
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,436
They're gone.
Not a second to waste.
304
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,522
(laughing)
305
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,610
(to "On the Road Again"):
♪ Left alone again ♪
306
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:42,613
♪ Yes, I'm eating
provolone again ♪
307
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:46,575
♪ Food just tastes better
in the bathroom now and then ♪
308
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:50,788
♪ I just love being
left alone again ♪
309
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,457
♪ Left alone for days ♪
310
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:57,086
♪ I ate two dozen bags
of Frito-Lays ♪
311
00:13:57,169 --> 00:14:00,506
♪ I'm gonna brush my teeth
with mayonnaise ♪
312
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:04,134
♪ Now my sweat tastes
just like doughnut glaze. ♪
313
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:06,804
(shrieks)
314
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,641
(shrieking)
315
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:14,854
Not a single morsel
in the house!
316
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,856
(gasps)
317
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:18,190
A forgotten hot dog.
318
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,985
Oh, you're shivering.
319
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,778
I'll take care of that.
320
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:27,074
(to "Happy Birthday"):
♪ Happy birthday to meat ♪
321
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,159
♪ I can't wait to eat. ♪
322
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:32,079
-Now to slit it down the middle.
-(dog barks)
323
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:33,873
I'm not splitting it with you.
324
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,833
I'm just teaching you
how it's done.
325
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:36,834
(barks)
326
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,711
(groans)
327
00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,421
Still frozen.
328
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,425
(screams) My finger!
329
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:46,010
My hot dog!
330
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,723
(sizzling)
331
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:52,391
My finger! My poor...
332
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,726
(moaning)
333
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,519
...delicious finger.
334
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,396
(sniffs) Wait a minute.
335
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,607
I can't eat my own finger.
It's unholy.
336
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,150
Also, it's not quite done.
337
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:04,278
But sometimes a man has to do
the unthinkable,
338
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:07,656
like eat something medium-rare.
339
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,657
Oh!
340
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,284
(fireworks whistling, popping)
341
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,411
-(to "Hallelujah Chorus")
-♪ Hey, you ate you ♪
342
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,204
♪ You tasted great, you ♪
343
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,415
♪ Hey, you ate you,
hey, you ate you ♪
344
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,834
♪ You cooked and ate you. ♪
345
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,044
-(phone chimes)
-Hmm?
346
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:21,337
Hmm.
347
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,422
(hums softly)
348
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,636
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.
349
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,679
It makes complete sense.
350
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:34,475
I eat more and exercise less
than the most succulent pig.
351
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,018
Of course I'm delicious!
352
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:39,772
But I must never
eat me again. Never!
353
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,273
On the other hand
354
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,150
is my other finger.
355
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,694
And one thing I love
is consistency.
356
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,780
(humming "Hallelujah Chorus")
357
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:50,908
Hey, there, Homer Aloner.
358
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:54,078
In the absence of the missus,
you want something delicious?
359
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,455
(sighs)
360
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,208
Don't worry, I'll be back.
361
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,714
(wheels squeaking)
362
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,967
Oh. Ooh, yuck.
363
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,677
Oh, disgusting.
364
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,304
Homer Simpson,
you don't like steak anymore?
365
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:15,599
Actually, I've become
a bit of a me-gan.
366
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:18,394
Do you have any spaghetti
with my-balls? Uh, meatballs?
367
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,354
"Me-gan? My-balls?"
368
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,856
Are you eating forbidden fruit?
369
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,984
Fruit? Ugh.
370
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,822
Sorry, Flanders,
371
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:33,325
but I've got more delicious meat
in my little finger
372
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,661
than you have
on this whole picnic table.
373
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:36,996
Speaking of which...
374
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:40,499
("Bustin' Loose" by
ReBirth Brass Band playing)
375
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,377
♪ Whoo ♪
376
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,087
♪ ♪
377
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,770
♪ Whoo. ♪
378
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,439
♪ ♪
379
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,778
I have really gone
to a lot of trouble
380
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,572
not to leave the house.
381
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,323
MARGE (in distance):
Homie, we're home!
382
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,324
(shrieks)
383
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,785
What's with the gloves?
384
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:20,080
Uh, I was watching
Breakfast at Tiffany's,
385
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,332
and I thought I could be
more elegant.
386
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,668
Elegant? With your waistline?
387
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,545
I don't think so.
388
00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:30,466
Actually, Homer, you look like
you've lost 20 pounds.
389
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,509
Well, I have been cutting back.
390
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,511
That means something different
to me than you.
391
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:35,846
What's wrong with your leg?
392
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:38,140
Nothing. It was perfect.
393
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,725
(Marge grumbles)
394
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,853
(whirring in distance)
395
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:46,065
(groaning)
396
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:49,943
Homie, you shouldn't be snacking
in the middle of the night.
397
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,070
It can't be good for your...
398
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:53,030
(Marge screams)
399
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,952
This is, without question,
400
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:02,206
the worst moment
of our entire marriage.
401
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:03,624
-What about...
-This is worse.
402
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,209
Opa!
403
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,795
HOMER: Marge, I admit it,
this is a rough patch.
404
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:09,338
But I know when to stop.
405
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,882
And when would that be?
When you're just a mouth?
406
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:14,259
You see how she is, Doc?
Always negative.
407
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,719
She makes me feel like nothing.
408
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,055
You are almost nothing!
409
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,640
Almost nothing.
410
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,392
Homer, have you considered
your wife's feelings?
411
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,561
Perhaps she takes
this new diet of yours
412
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,271
as a comment on her cooking.
413
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,564
Marge?
414
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,817
I won't deny
that's a part of it.
415
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,151
See? Progress.
416
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,319
Now, excuse me.
417
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:35,364
I need to go get famous
talking about you.
418
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,950
Homie, I'm afraid this is it.
419
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:41,745
Your self-destructive behavior
has gone too far.
420
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,539
(muffled):
But, Marge...
421
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,833
Good-bye, my love.
422
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,127
(sobbing)
423
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,796
Maybe, deep down,
that's why I ate myself--
424
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:53,090
because I hate myself.
425
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:55,968
MAN: Sounds like
someone had a breakthrough.
426
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:58,428
Hi. I'm famous cooker-upper
Mario Batali.
427
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,973
-You mean "chef"?
-I don't care for that term.
428
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:03,976
Well, I know I don't belong
in therapy, but why are you?
429
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:06,061
I got depressed
because I ran out
430
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,729
of exciting new ingredients.
431
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:10,399
Homer, we need to talk.
432
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,276
Could we wok and talk?
433
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,777
Well, sure.
434
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,613
(sighs)
435
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:25,831
HOMER: My dearest family,
I love you so much.
436
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:29,001
And I think I've found a way
to earn your forgiveness.
437
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:30,627
Please come home.
438
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,671
Come home to flavor.
439
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:43,473
He wanted me to pass on
these final words.
440
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:44,933
"I've failed as a man,
441
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,019
but I have succeeded
as an ingredient."
442
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,187
I call the brain!
443
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:51,523
(sighs):
Ah.
444
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,483
He's gone.
445
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:57,988
Well, I guess I can be proud
that he succeeded at something.
446
00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,032
Oh, it's a lot more
than something.
447
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,659
Homer's the biggest thing
in food since free refills.
448
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,077
(slurping)
449
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,038
(to "Hallelujah Chorus"):
♪ Hey, you ate you ♪
450
00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:08,207
♪ You tasted great, you ♪
451
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,250
♪ Hey, you ate you,
hey, you ate you ♪
452
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,252
♪ You cooked and ate you. ♪
453
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,421
How did they get so much meat
out of Homer?
454
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:17,633
Well, they mixed in some Barney,
Comic Book Guy and horse.
455
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,134
Horse?!
456
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:23,180
Do you know what it's like
to have everyone
457
00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:24,556
eat of your body?
458
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,141
Yeah, like, every Sunday, pal.
459
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,601
(munching)
460
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,646
Uh, you know,
you don't get more of those.
461
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,111
(woman screams)
462
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:22,990
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH