1
00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:05,755
CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,090
Hey.
3
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,595
(exclaims)
4
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,519
(school bell ringing)
5
00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:22,897
(burps)
6
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,274
(tires screech)
7
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:26,860
D'oh!
8
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:28,111
(tires screech)
9
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,738
(grunts)
10
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{\an8}(clacking)
11
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{\an8}Aw.
12
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{\an8}(choking)
13
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{\an8}♪ ♪
14
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{\an8}(sniffing)
15
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{\an8}(Homer doing Tarzan yell)
16
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{\an8}And that's amore.
17
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:05,815
{\an8}(confused bark)
18
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:08,651
{\an8}(head knocks)
19
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{\an8}(head knocks)
20
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{\an8}(head knocks)
21
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,032
{\an8}(Homer chuckles)
22
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,912
{\an8}Let the word go forth.
23
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{\an8}With the kids
gone for the summer,
24
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{\an8}we have snuggled
in every room in the house.
25
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{\an8}Thank you, Kamp Krusty.
26
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{\an8}(footsteps rumbling)
27
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,550
{\an8}-WIGGUM: Um, excuse me.
-(yelps)
28
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{\an8}(footsteps rumbling)
29
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:37,388
{\an8}Um, putting on a little
weight there, huh, Chief?
30
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{\an8}Our freezer broke, Lou.
Any bacon we buy
31
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{\an8}we have to eat it all
and right away.
32
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,730
{\an8}Uh, now, Simpson, we received
an anonymous call about a gong.
33
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{\an8}Chief Wiggum, can't a man enjoy
34
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:52,070
{\an8}the company of his wife
in his own son's tree house?
35
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,571
{\an8}What, you didn't
see the sign?
36
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:54,906
{\an8}Hmm?
37
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:57,033
{\an8}That's just some nonsense
a kid wrote, Chief.
38
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{\an8}That is what they said
39
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,662
{\an8}about the Declaration
of Independence, Lou.
40
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,163
{\an8}Uh, who said that?
41
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,498
{\an8}King Shut-the-hell-up.
42
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{\an8}Look, we're married.
43
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:07,502
{\an8}This is our home,
and our kids are fine.
44
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{\an8}♪ Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty ♪
45
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{\an8}(kids clamoring)
46
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,261
{\an8}Death to tennis camp!
47
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:18,763
{\an8}(kids screaming)
48
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,723
{\an8}I can't believe
it's been six weeks
49
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,225
{\an8}since we've seen the kids.
50
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,436
{\an8}Ooh, I wonder
if Bart has a mustache.
51
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,938
{\an8}(tires screech)
52
00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,481
{\an8}Your kids are back.
53
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,901
{\an8}Except for the Johnsons',
who I need to speak to privately.
54
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{\an8}(chuckles nervously)
55
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,613
{\an8}(kids clamoring)
56
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{\an8}(shuddering)
57
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,159
{\an8}I have lemon-lime disease!
58
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:42,871
{\an8}The basketball teams
were skin versus bones.
59
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{\an8}I'm tellin' ya,
it was a real rough camp.
60
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:49,377
{\an8}I see you're sucking your thumb again.
61
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:51,462
{\an8}Kirk, you said he'd stopped.
62
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{\an8}Uh...
63
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,757
{\an8}Kirk, we discussed this.
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00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,968
{\an8}It's the only vice I can afford!
65
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{\an8}Oh, my poor, poor babies.
66
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:05,226
{\an8}Do you know what kids get
after a scary experience?
67
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,978
{\an8}ALL:
Ice cream!
68
00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,730
{\an8}No. Counseling.
69
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,023
{\an8}Oh.
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00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,358
Kids, you've been through
a horrible experience,
71
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,945
but there is good news
at the end of that pain-bow.
72
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,615
A pot of goals. All right.
73
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,783
How long you gonna
talk this way?
74
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:24,412
Well, let's just say,
"I wish eyes were smiling."
75
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,331
(chuckles)
Now, kids,
76
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:28,917
how bad could it have
really been?
77
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,419
Hey, Doc, I'm fine.
But other kids in my generation,
78
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,338
I love 'em,
but they're total wusses.
79
00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:36,507
Well, every night,
they showed us The Parent Trap.
80
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,843
I mean, what kind of
parents break up twins
81
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,930
and never tell them
the other exists?!
82
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,224
-Oh, that's Disney magic.
-(shudders)
83
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,643
Now, you all need
to decompress,
84
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:50,688
so it is essential you do not
go right back to school.
85
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-No school?
-No school?
86
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:53,942
On second thought, I'm fine.
87
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,069
Look, I can sit
with my chair turned around,
88
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:57,237
just like you.
89
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,322
I knew one day
there'd be another.
90
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,157
Go. Go with God.
91
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,576
Bart, are you coming?
92
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,578
(blubbering)
93
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,497
Ooh, definitely no school for you.
94
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:08,581
Or church.
95
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:09,832
(blubbering)
96
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,337
Mrs. Simpson,
I would watch him very closely
97
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,089
for the next couple of days.
98
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,549
Geez, I was thinking
about taking him shopping
99
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for school clothes.
100
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:23,221
(high-pitched blubbering)
101
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Why not just buy a suit
for his coffin.
102
00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:28,393
Oh. Oh, okay. Sorry.
103
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,603
Uh, somebody parked me in.
104
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,063
Toyota Corolla.
105
00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:34,065
Well, it's got to be
one of you.
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00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,566
Try the karate studio.
107
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,568
I tried the damn karate studio.
108
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(groans) All right, it's me.
I blocked you in.
109
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Okay? Sorry.
110
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BART: Okay,
111
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time to fake me some PTSD.
112
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(sniffs)
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And maybe bloodshot eyes.
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Eh, too far.
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(yawning loudly)
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Oh, I don't know, Homie.
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The kids seem upset.
118
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Oh, they'll be fine.
119
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Marge, children and summer
are natural enemies.
120
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Now, why don't we
mix things up?
121
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Tonight I'll be Penn
and you be Teller.
122
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Oh, okay!
123
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Uh! Teller doesn't talk.
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(both moaning)
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(laughs) Ooh.
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BART:
Mom! Dad!
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I'm scared.
I can't sleep.
128
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(whimpering)
129
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I'm sorry, Homie.
Bart's ten.
130
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That could be the last tear
that ever comes out of him.
131
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He's sleeping here.
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(whimpers)
133
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Take a hike, homeboy.
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(Homer grumbling)
135
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What the hey?
136
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Just giving him his allowance.
137
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This pamphlet on trauma
they gave Bart is very alarming.
138
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Loss of appetite?
Thousand-yard stare.
139
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-I'm not hungry.
-Where are you looking?
140
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A thousand yards away.
141
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(gasps)
No school for you, young man.
142
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I'll set up the couch as a bed.
143
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Can I put Homer's pillows
under my butt?
144
00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:11,287
Of course.
145
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,997
You don't need pillows
under your butt.
146
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Your butt is pillows, genius.
147
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,836
♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show ♪
148
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,298
{\an8}And now,
Itchy and Scratchy
149
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{\an8}perform their
cutting-edge version
150
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:25,676
{\an8}of the "Sabre Dance."
151
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,720
{\an8}("Sabre Dance" playing)
152
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(screams)
153
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,525
-(laughs)
-(TV clicks off)
154
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,111
Mom, can I have
a jellybean sandwich for lunch?
155
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,822
Mm, how about a fruit salad?
156
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,698
Fruit? (sighs)
157
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,033
What's the matter?
158
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That's what they served at camp.
159
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:53,079
Fine. Fine, jellybeans.
160
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(groans)
161
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(disco music playing)
162
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(quietly)
Marge, voulez vous rendezvous
163
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,549
at the dog's bed?
164
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,343
I can't move.
His head's on my arm.
165
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,678
(normal voice)
Can you give me a foot rub?
166
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,097
Also, we both have to sign
his permission slip.
167
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,558
(groans) Maybe we should
just go to sleep.
168
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,394
Oof! Can't sleep, can't snuggle.
169
00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:18,438
Gonna do the unthinkable.
170
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,772
Homie, what do you mean?
171
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,315
Gonna go to work early.
172
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,943
(loud screeching gasp)
173
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,945
(rooster crowing)
174
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:28,948
Geez, there's a lot of spaces
when you get in early.
175
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,993
Geez, there's a lot of
donuts when you get in early.
176
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,704
Hot coffee?
177
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,539
Whoever heard of such a thing?
178
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,624
(grunting)
179
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,381
Hmm.
180
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,800
I was supposed to read this
when I started the job,
181
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,302
but I didn't want
the other workers
182
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:51,137
to think of me as a nerd.
183
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,641
(alarm blaring)
184
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:58,895
(alarm stops)
185
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:03,816
What's he doing?
186
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,110
-He's reading.
-Nerd.
187
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,737
Hey, Homer, settle a bet.
188
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,490
Red beans and rice
or red beans on rice?
189
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,533
Winner gets 3,000 bucks.
190
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,036
Sorry, guys,
maybe another time.
191
00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,371
Homer Simpson
don't want to screw around?
192
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:19,624
That's like Aquaman
moving to Phoenix.
193
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,792
You know, Lenny,
seeing Homer acting responsible--
194
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:24,337
Oh, Aquaman to Phoenix,
I just got that--
195
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,422
Uh, makes me want
to buckle down and do my job.
196
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,883
You know,
vice president of marketing.
197
00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:31,427
Hey, if you need me,
I'll be cold-calling people
198
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,222
to see what they think
of electricity.
199
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,599
(Homers chattering excitedly)
200
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:45,858
Uh, Mr. Smithers, I, uh, I noticed
201
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,486
the plant's free subscription
to Nuclear Safety magazine
202
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:50,488
was hitting
the six-month mark.
203
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:53,199
They're gonna start charging us
the full newsstand price.
204
00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:54,909
And no one pays
those prices.
205
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,327
(chuckles)
Nice catch, Simpson.
206
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:57,828
(cheering)
207
00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:00,039
So I had the idea
to cancel it
208
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:02,500
and sign up for another
free trial under a new e-mail.
209
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,168
Wow. Wow!
210
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,212
Simpson, something
is very different about you.
211
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:09,340
(hushed voice)
I am sexually frustrated.
212
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:11,008
Tell me about it.
213
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,642
Kamp Krusty! Kamp Krusty!
214
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,310
Homie, listen.
215
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,145
No ketchup!
No ketchup!
216
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,856
Oh, no,
not the hamburger dream.
217
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,858
♪ ♪
218
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,819
(thunder rumbles)
219
00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:36,325
(Bart and Lisa gasping,
screaming)
220
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:37,868
(screams)
221
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,705
Oh, my God,
I really am traumatized.
222
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,290
I need help.
223
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,291
(gulps)
224
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:47,837
Lis! Lis!
225
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,172
(yawns)
Can it wait till morning?
226
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,549
Sure.
227
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:52,883
(birds chirping)
228
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,051
Lis! Lis!
229
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,262
-Thanks for waiting till morning.
-No problemo.
230
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:59,599
I had an actual nightmare
about Kamp Krusty.
231
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,809
There was a body
in a red life vest!
232
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:03,811
(gasps)
What else do you remember?
233
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:06,063
We were canoeing.
We were in a storm.
234
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,690
(thunder rumbling)
235
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:08,649
(gasps)
236
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,235
(metal rumbling)
237
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,237
It's coming back to me, too!
238
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,032
Whatever happened
must have been so horrible
239
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,658
we repressed the memory.
240
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,328
But don't tell, because
they'll make me miss school.
241
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,954
Maybe you should miss school.
242
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,914
I have perfect attendance.
243
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,458
You can't get that back.
244
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:28,377
Okay, I'll bring your
carriage around.
245
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,129
(imitates hoofbeats)
246
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:33,215
Uh-oh, looks like snow.
247
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,051
Very funny, Bart.
248
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,555
(imitating farting)
249
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,806
Stop it!
250
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:41,724
(imitates farting)
251
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,143
(yawns)
252
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,020
(sighs)
253
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:47,480
Made you breakfast.
254
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,523
I also made reservations
for Mother's Day.
255
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,568
I know it's three months away,
but you can't book too early.
256
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:53,944
Wow!
257
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,196
(kisses loudly)
258
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:56,489
Who's that guy?
259
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:58,157
I don't know.
260
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,493
♪ ♪
261
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:05,665
Hmm.
262
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,125
D'oh!
263
00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:15,549
Mr. Burns, I noticed no one ever
puts suggestions in the box.
264
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,260
So I took the liberty
of making my own.
265
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,971
Hmm.
266
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,473
Yeah.
267
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:23,474
(chuckles)
268
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:26,852
Excellent. Simpson,
I'm giving you a raise.
269
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,145
More money?
270
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,022
But that's more
than I make now!
271
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,857
You've done so well,
Simpson.
272
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,026
I'm giving you
your own trap door button.
273
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,820
Oh, thank you!
274
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,907
(kids chattering excitedly)
275
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,827
(excited screaming)
276
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,912
Excuse me. Coming through.
Working out issues.
277
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:46,163
Boom-shakalaka.
278
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,790
I was at Kamp Krusty, too.
279
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,376
You don't see me freaking out
every time I see--
280
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,503
(hoarsely)
Red vest! Red vest!
281
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,505
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
282
00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:56,298
It means, young lady,
283
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:59,176
that you're about to go
to the head of the line.
284
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,470
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
If everyone has a cut-the-line pass,
285
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,056
no one has a cut-the-line pass.
286
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,892
LISA: Quit your whining!
I'm riding the ride!
287
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,145
While you were pouting,
I did it again!
288
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,814
(humming a tune)
289
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:13,023
(gasps)
290
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:15,860
Oh. Maggie's asleep,
291
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:18,988
and the kids are still having
fun at the park with Grampa.
292
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,073
We're alone.
293
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,576
(moaning)
294
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,203
Marge, no!
295
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:27,913
I've pledged my abstinence,
296
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,915
like all the most successful
rock stars.
297
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,333
Come on, mister.
298
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,586
I'm too tired
to get my groove back.
299
00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:34,920
It's all on you!
300
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,423
No means no. I looked it up
in the dictionary.
301
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,800
No?! No?!
302
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,094
You've never said "no."
303
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,596
Hmm? Hmm.
304
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,015
Hmm.
305
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,266
Oh!
306
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:51,103
Honey, I'm really sorry,
but I'm here for you every way.
307
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,480
Except physically.
308
00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,732
Also, spiritually and emotionally.
309
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:56,817
And I've never been good
at zipping up dresses.
310
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,277
What are you saying?
311
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,738
Men have accomplished
unbelievable things
312
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:03,449
when they've denied
themselves whoopee.
313
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:05,075
The pointy pyramids of Egypt,
314
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,703
the Duomo,
which I now know is a thing.
315
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,747
You don't name
a company "Microsoft"
316
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,290
when you're getting some.
317
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:12,583
Oh, boy.
318
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:16,170
First the kids are screwed up,
and now our marriage is?
319
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:17,588
We need therapy.
320
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:20,132
(eerie theremin music plays)
321
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:23,052
I said "therapy," not "theremin."
322
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,220
Honest mistake.
323
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,263
Or was it?
324
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,808
(eerie music plays)
325
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,143
{\an8}MASTERS:
Welcome, Marge.
326
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:33,354
Homer, no need
to take your pants off.
327
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,523
It's not what you think.
I just had a big lunch.
328
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,942
Just a series of questions
for now.
329
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,276
Then the pants come off.
330
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,653
Now, let me be blunt.
331
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,822
Are you happy with
your romantic life?
332
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,825
My problem used to be
too much satisfaction.
333
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,076
We hear that a lot.
334
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,994
But I'm afraid
not so much lately.
335
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,247
Do you self-gratify?
336
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:54,166
Yes. I do everything
but masturbate.
337
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,461
You know, this all started
with our poor kids traumatized
338
00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,255
by a budget summer camp.
339
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:02,341
So many perfect marriages
ruined by kids.
340
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:03,968
We tell them
it's not their fault,
341
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:06,428
when, of course,
it's always their fault.
342
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:09,390
What you must do is return
your children to this camp
343
00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:11,100
and face down their demons.
344
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,393
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
345
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:15,312
There's so much more you can do
when you don't think about sex.
346
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,523
That's why nuns
are so successful.
347
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:19,608
You have to take the kids
back to that camp.
348
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,277
Well, it beats
hanging out with them.
349
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,530
Now, if you'll excuse us,
we have some deviants coming in.
350
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:26,115
MOE:
Hello? Anybody here?
351
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,449
Yeah, I brought my lady.
352
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,577
She used to be
the helicopter ride
353
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:30,995
in front of the supermarket.
354
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:32,371
(rhythmic creaking)
355
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:35,749
(mechanical clattering,
bell dinging)
356
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:41,964
(bell dings)
357
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,674
Oh-hooh, uh... just finished.
358
00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:45,926
All right, deviant out.
359
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,305
MARGE: (thinking)
My kids are a mess.
360
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,891
Homer's turned into the man
I've always wanted,
361
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,726
which I don't really want.
362
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:56,103
And for some reason,
we're going back to Kamp Krusty.
363
00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,607
-ALL: Aw!
-(hisses)
364
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:00,733
(all gasp)
365
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,662
What happened
to this place?
366
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,831
People are wearing
terrycloth bathrobes
367
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,249
like they're ancient Romans.
368
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,418
Actually,
more like Macedonians.
369
00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:20,836
All right, come on,
deer and pig.
370
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,255
It's time for you to mate
and then fight to the death.
371
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,095
What happened
to this place?
372
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,931
Oh, uh, Krusty cut his losses
373
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:35,392
by partnering with
Caligula's World Family Entertainment.
374
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,604
They redid the whole place
as an adult spa.
375
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:41,357
Uh-oh.
Did I leave my sash on?
376
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,943
Why don't you kids go in here,
and we'll find someone
377
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,028
who can prove to you
that what you think happened
378
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,613
didn't happen.
379
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,615
So, what do we do now,
get naked?
380
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:52,284
Ha-ha! I'm joking.
Unless you want to.
381
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:55,621
In which case,
I've never been more serious.
382
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,165
So, um, uh, which is it?
383
00:15:58,248 --> 00:15:59,416
Don't want to.
384
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,418
Ah, good thing I was joking.
385
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,504
(chuckles nervously)
386
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:06,840
♪ Who stole the cookie
from the cookie jar? ♪
387
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:09,677
♪ Tyler stole the cookie from
the cookie jar ♪
388
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,928
♪ What, me? ♪
389
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:12,554
♪ Yeah, you ♪
390
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:13,639
♪ Couldn't be ♪
391
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,265
♪ Then who? ♪
392
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:18,686
♪ Courtney stole the cookie
from the cookie jar... ♪
393
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,854
I've heard enough.
Let's go, Courtney.
394
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,272
You, too, Tyler.
395
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:25,818
{\an8}Hey, Bart, Bart, now's our
chance to break out of here.
396
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,904
{\an8}But I'm four loops away
from finishing my potholder.
397
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,114
{\an8}Now!
398
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,532
{\an8}Ugh!
399
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,744
Marge, you know,
it used to be I'd be tempted
400
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,746
by every one of these places.
401
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,290
Now I just want to know
where the business center is.
402
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,709
It's over there.
403
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,585
You can print up all the free
boarding passes you want.
404
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,713
Oh!
405
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:48,382
We didn't even fly here.
(groans)
406
00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:50,300
(grumbling)
407
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,302
-Oh. Oh.
-(printer whirring)
408
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:53,887
(playful growl)
409
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,060
Bart, I've seen
that shed before!
410
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,645
Hey, I know your
life is boring,
411
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:04,106
but you don't have
to advertise it.
412
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,899
(door creaks)
413
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,776
(wind whistles)
414
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:08,694
(both scream)
415
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:11,113
(both scream)
416
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,032
I'm remembering now.
417
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,159
We were trying
to escape by canoe.
418
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:18,787
Come back! Everyone needs
to watch the musical!
419
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,124
We've rehearsed for three hours!
420
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,503
But there was
another kid with us.
421
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:27,963
LISA: (gasps)
You're right!
422
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,339
BART:
His name was Charlie.
423
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,549
LISA:
(gasps) I forgot
424
00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:33,218
because I was high
on poster paint fumes.
425
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,429
BART: Quiet!
We tipped over in the rapids.
426
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:37,765
(gasping)
427
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,938
Oh, my God!
Charlie didn't come back up!
428
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,357
Hey, hey!
Look who's back!
429
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,151
Kamp Krusty alumni!
430
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:52,237
We have reason to believe that
someone was killed in this camp!
431
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,948
Whoa! What happened to hello?
432
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,575
(humming)
433
00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:59,453
Hard to concentrate with waves
gently lapping on the shore.
434
00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:01,747
(kissing grunts)
435
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,793
Ooh! Marge, are you sure
you want to do this?
436
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:09,546
Mm... I think I still want
the old you.
437
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,218
{\an8}Everyone, down below the belt!
Move, move, move!
438
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:17,012
{\an8}Don't leave anything up here!
We will not be back!
439
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:20,349
{\an8}(violin playing
"Adagio for Strings")
440
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,739
Play something
to put him in the mood!
441
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,825
(playing "Boléro")
442
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:42,996
Faster!
443
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,290
(playing "Call to the Post")
444
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:49,628
(grunting, kissing)
445
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:53,173
These children
would like to report
446
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,717
a traumatic incident
on the property.
447
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,052
(grunting)
448
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,637
Poor Charlie.
449
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,848
Charlie?
Did he have a red vest?
450
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:01,932
-Yes!
-Yes!
451
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:03,475
Can you kids keep a secret?
452
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,102
I can, but Lisa can't.
453
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,937
I told you that
in confidence!
454
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,902
Charlie! You're alive!
455
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,113
And a man, I might add--
a very short man.
456
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,157
They'd like to be called
"little people."
457
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,950
Yeah, not that much.
458
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,830
I was working undercover as
a spy for Departures magazine.
459
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,540
They are everywhere.
460
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:29,001
Anyway, when the canoe flipped,
I made my getaway.
461
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:31,128
LISA: But you didn't have
your life vest.
462
00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:33,130
CHARLIE:
I'm a grown-up! I can swim!
463
00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:34,715
And vote!
464
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,594
(whimpers quietly)
465
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,220
Oh, my God!
466
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,680
It's a miracle.
467
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:43,932
Whoa, I guess I really
was traumatized.
468
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,018
And now I'm glad
everything's all right.
469
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,485
So many stars.
470
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,447
Ever wonder how many worlds
are out there, Homie?
471
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,325
Pizza. Want pizza.
472
00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,618
And you.
473
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,536
That's my man.
474
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,538
♪ ♪
475
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:12,461
For the fifth time today,
I am not a diving platform!
476
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:16,048
{\an8}(snoring)
477
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,634
{\an8}TV ANNOUNCER:
Next on Fox...
478
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,348
{\an8}♪ ♪
479
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,937
{\an8}MALE SOUL SINGER:
Oh, baby, baby.
480
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,855
{\an8}Tonight's the night
481
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,191
{\an8}we're not gonna get it on.
482
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:37,945
{\an8}And when I say never,
I mean forever.
483
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:42,991
{\an8}At my insistence,
I will keep you at a distance.
484
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,952
{\an8}Because...
485
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:48,705
{\an8}♪ My darling, you ♪
486
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:52,918
{\an8}♪ Have had enough
of my love, babe ♪
487
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:58,006
{\an8}♪ Mm, baby, don't get upset ♪
488
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,551
{\an8}♪ But your needs
will not be met ♪
489
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:04,096
{\an8}♪ Mm, it's like
the more you want ♪
490
00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:07,015
{\an8}♪ The less I give ♪
491
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,142
{\an8}♪ Baby, that's no lie ♪
492
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,520
{\an8}Oh, yeah.
493
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,940
Subtitled by Katie Finegan