1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,421 (squawks) 2 00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:08,299 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 3 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:10,385 {\an8}(theme music playing) 4 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,055 (exclaims) 5 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,895 (school bell ringing) 6 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,107 (Barney belches) 7 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,611 D'oh! 8 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,989 -(tires screech) -(grunts) 9 00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:35,285 -HOMER: Hmm. -BART: Hmm. 10 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,454 (grunting) 11 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,831 -(chuckles) -MARGE: Mm. 12 00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:41,666 HOMER: Hmm. 13 00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:52,927 {\an8}ANNOUNCER (on TV): Welcome... to The Vulture's Nest. 14 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,305 {\an8}♪ ♪ 15 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,109 {\an8}The Vulture's Nest... 16 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,361 {\an8}-(air hissing) -...where billionaire investors 17 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,031 {\an8}swoop down on your business proposals 18 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,699 {\an8}and peck out the eyes. 19 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,076 {\an8}(lock clicking) 20 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:21,122 {\an8}(squawking) 21 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,754 {\an8}Uh, hello, vultures. (chuckles nervously) 22 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,380 {\an8}Okay, um... 23 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:30,799 {\an8}-Forget it. I'm out. -Uh... 24 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,635 {\an8}uh, vultures, almost every kid wears a retainer, 25 00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:35,303 {\an8}and that is not cool. 26 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,765 {\an8}But this retainer is a de-lamer. 27 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:42,393 {\an8}As it turns this grill from blah... 28 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,062 {\an8}-to bling. -(grunts) 29 00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:45,647 {\an8}-Hmm. -Ooh. 30 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:49,400 {\an8}Now that's a Milhouse I'd marry. 31 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,903 {\an8}Kirk, when I started digging for oil, 32 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:54,614 {\an8}I came up dry for 12 years. 33 00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:57,200 {\an8}Then I had my yee-haw moment 34 00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:00,245 {\an8}and realized I needed to drill in Texas 35 00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:02,539 {\an8}instead of my home state of New Hampshire. 36 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,666 {\an8}Well, I'm very interested. 37 00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,084 {\an8}I'll offer you three hours 38 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,670 {\an8}of my precious time for 90% of your company. 39 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,088 {\an8}Too late. 95%. 40 00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:12,257 {\an8}We're not gonna do any better than that. 41 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,008 {\an8}I don't know, Dad. 42 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,885 {\an8}Of course you don't know. You're just a kid. 43 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,888 {\an8}-I may be a kid, but this was my idea. -Hey! 44 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,932 {\an8}You need a ride home, don't you? 45 00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:22,392 {\an8}We've heard enough. 46 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,310 {\an8}Thank you for the opportunity. 47 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:29,482 {\an8}(laughs) I love seeing people I know fail. 48 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,192 {\an8}Do you want a beer, son? 49 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,444 {\an8}(gasps) There's a stain. 50 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,864 {\an8}Did that dumb dog pee on the rug? 51 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,408 {\an8}Dad, it's not fair to blame the dog. 52 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:42,245 {\an8}Blame the dumb animal who's supposed to walk him-- Bart. 53 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,914 {\an8}I did walk him. Didn't I, boy? 54 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,958 {\an8}-(growling) -Chewing your leg is not a yes. 55 00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:48,835 {\an8}I learned that in a real estate deal. 56 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,254 {\an8}Oh, it wasn't the dog. 57 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,672 {\an8}I went on the rug. 58 00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:53,965 {\an8}-What? -Huh? 59 00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:56,134 {\an8}Grampa, is everything all right? 60 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:57,802 {\an8}I'm 86 years old, 61 00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:01,264 {\an8}and I'm falling apart like toast in a dishwasher. 62 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,099 {\an8}Oh, you poor man. 63 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,767 {\an8}Sit down here and relax. 64 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:05,935 {\an8}(groans) 65 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,687 {\an8}Geez, Dad, you really have lost a step. 66 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,439 {\an8}Can't you at least enjoy Shark Tank-- 67 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,024 {\an8}I mean, Vulture's Nest? 68 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,318 {\an8}(screams) 69 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:15,445 {\an8}Grampa, don't worry. 70 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,031 {\an8}We're paying the finest nursing home in town. 71 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:19,324 {\an8}They'll know what to do. 72 00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,826 We have no idea what to do. 73 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:25,079 We specialize in keeping seniors from bothering their families, 74 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,832 then gently releasing them just before death. 75 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,584 God bless, Mr. Simpson. 76 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:32,128 I've been paying you off and on for years, 77 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,755 and there's no way you can help? 78 00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:37,008 We do offer free transportation to the next stage. 79 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:39,302 -(tires screech) -(grunts) 80 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,637 (tires screech) 81 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,472 (sighing worriedly) 82 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:43,806 Come on, Grampa. 83 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,975 You're not staying on skid row. 84 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,227 Yeah, that's shameful, 85 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,687 shoving poor old people out on the street. 86 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,981 This place is for the mentally ill. 87 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,316 (yelling incoherently) 88 00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,068 Hey! What are you... 89 00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:57,320 Uh, get better! (chuckles) 90 00:03:58,571 --> 00:03:59,948 Well, we're not beaten yet. 91 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,576 Grampa, you're a veteran of every branch of the service. 92 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,662 The VA hospital will help. 93 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:09,165 {\an8}Aren't those hospitals the ones they called "America's shame"? 94 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,669 {\an8}A lot of things are America's shame, honey. 95 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,212 {\an8}(cats wailing) 96 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,589 {\an8}(Barney moaning) 97 00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:21,052 -Mr. Simpson? -Yes? 98 00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:23,012 Uh, this is just the waiting room. 99 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,514 Oh... 100 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,641 Well, don't worry, the veteran's administration 101 00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:28,476 will take care of this proud warrior. 102 00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,019 I can see him in five minutes. 103 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,605 -(Homer and Marge sigh with relief) -23 years from now. 104 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,774 -(Grampa groans) -Hey, soldier. 105 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:38,194 Are you looking for high quality health care at no cost? 106 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,114 -I know the place. -Tell it to me in an anecdote. 107 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,573 Years ago, 108 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:45,618 I saw action in the Bay of Pigs. 109 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,954 Bay of Pigs, eh? 110 00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,706 (pigs snorting) 111 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,833 -(chomps) -(pig squeals) 112 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,502 Er, have you seen Marilyn Monroe? 113 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,587 I'm asking, for, uh, for a friend. 114 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:57,964 -Yes, a, uh... -Er, uh... 115 00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,882 -...a friend. -Don't, uh, tell Ethel. 116 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,552 Mmm. History. 117 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,388 Those Cuban doctors patched me up good, 118 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,098 and for a lot less. 119 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:08,725 How much less? 120 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:12,645 Well, what costs $2,000 here costs six bucks there. 121 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,731 {\an8}-Hmm. -(Cuban music playing) 122 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,568 Ah, Cuba sounds a little dangerous. 123 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,111 Why don't we try Canada? 124 00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,654 I don't want to go there, 125 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,240 now that that commie Trudeau is in charge. 126 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,908 We're goin' to Cuba! 127 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,160 You got it, Dad. 128 00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,078 Nurse, cancel our appointment. 129 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:32,081 I'm sorry, there's a fee if you don't cancel within 24 years. 130 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,166 D'oh! 131 00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:39,339 (horn blows) 132 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,132 -(bird screeches) -D'oh! 133 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:44,469 Grampa, can't you enjoy the Caribbean breeze? 134 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:45,928 Not while I suspect 135 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,806 your father's gonna toss me off'n the boat. 136 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,808 -Huh? Wh... -Hmm? 137 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,560 -Ah-ah? Ah-ah? -Hmm? 138 00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:54,437 No. We're not. 139 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,272 And we'll have fun when we get there. 140 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,399 We can have plantains. 141 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:01,235 They're like bananas you have to cook. Yum. 142 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:04,030 Cooked bananas are too hard for me to chew. 143 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,281 D'oh! 144 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,242 Well, don't forget Cuba's vibrant jazz scene. 145 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,036 Lisa, thanks for the warning. 146 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:13,498 Despite what she says, this trip will be fun. 147 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:17,335 I am finally gonna put the Spanish I learned on I Love Lucy to use. 148 00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:20,755 (à la Ricky Ricardo) Oh, Loo-sey, you need to see a "fee-sa-kia-trist." 149 00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:22,256 Excuse me, sir. 150 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,842 We are perfectly able to pronounce "psychiatrist." 151 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,886 Now, please don't make me 'splain it to you again. 152 00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:29,180 Come on, Rick. The girls are dressed up like men, 153 00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:31,224 trying to get into the cigar store. 154 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,142 So you know what we do, Fred? 155 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,020 We give them cigars. (laughs) 156 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,980 All the cigars they want. 157 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,149 (laughs) This will be good. 158 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,069 I'll never understand why a bandleader 159 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,822 was such good friends with his landlord. 160 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,573 (Cuban music playing) 161 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:55,164 Now, there are 12 types of visits to Cuba 162 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,582 that are legally permitted. 163 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,042 -U.S. business... -Next. 164 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,377 ...professional research... 165 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:00,711 I don't know what either of those words mean. 166 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,339 -...educational activities... -Those words I know and hate. 167 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,008 -...family visit... -Is there a VIP entrance to this place? 168 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,302 -...religious activities... -(laughing) God, no. 169 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:10,346 -...public performances... -Never. 170 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,932 -...mistook us for Aruba... -Is that that weird lettuce? 171 00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,226 -...here to smuggle cigars... -You guys have cigars? 172 00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:17,437 -...fell off a fishing boat... -Many times, not today. 173 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,814 -...transmission of information... -Who wants to know? 174 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:22,692 -...really love Gloria Estefan... -Getting warmer. 175 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,403 ...and the last one is journalistic activity. 176 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:28,739 I'm a journalist. I'm doing an article for my school paper. 177 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,450 Here's one of my scoops. 178 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,368 Hmm. You're in. 179 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,036 ♪ ♪ 180 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,664 {\an8}Whoa, you can make money playing dominoes? 181 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,791 {\an8}Come on, Grampa, let's take these guys. 182 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,376 I don't like dominoes. 183 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,629 With my cataracts, everything's a six. 184 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,174 (groans) 185 00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,092 What? 186 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,762 (sighs) 187 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,181 Ooh! 188 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:56,392 We could go see Mariel Hemingway's grandfather's house. 189 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,978 Hmm, apparently, he was a writer. 190 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,563 Like Mindy Kaling. 191 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:02,273 Forget it, I'm done. 192 00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:05,860 Let me just take one last good look at my granddaughter 193 00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:08,529 so she'll remember her granddad. 194 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,866 {\an8}(grunting) 195 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,663 And love locks it in. 196 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,625 Now, to just sit and wait for the end. 197 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:25,546 How could anyone be so glum in front of that sign? 198 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,633 (sighs) 199 00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,301 ♪ ♪ 200 00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:33,262 I am so sorry. There is, uh, nothing I can do. 201 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,098 All I can offer is this, uh, festive shirt. 202 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,642 (groans) 203 00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:40,853 I don't like the way the birds are looking at me. 204 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,522 Relax, viejo. 205 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,899 Return the shirt after he, you know... 206 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,776 (whistles, blows raspberry) 207 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:51,614 {\an8}(groans) We took an exotic island vacation for nothing. 208 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,200 Oh, my God! 209 00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,953 Where have you been all these years? 210 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,996 Now, this is a car! 211 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,915 Razor-sharp fins. 212 00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:03,668 Little triangle windows that weren't good for nothing. 213 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:07,922 And a front seat you could fit all your newborn babies on. 214 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:10,675 {\an8}-Would you care to go for a ride? -(keys jingle) 215 00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:13,302 Car keys that don't go bloopity-bloop! 216 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,679 I'm home! 217 00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:16,514 ("Chan Chan" by Buena Vista Social Club playing) 218 00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:24,355 {\an8}(singing in Spanish) 219 00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:25,773 Oh! 220 00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:28,776 You, my friend, just had a "Cuba-gasm." 221 00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:29,902 (tires squeal) 222 00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:32,029 Dad, let me help you out. 223 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,407 (laughs) I don't need no help! 224 00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:35,992 (hums a tune) 225 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:39,579 A lungful of leaded gas, and I'm better than ever! 226 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:40,663 (chuckles) 227 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,331 Oh, thank you. 228 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,585 You've taken my dad back to a simpler time 229 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:49,922 when our only worry was being obliterated by nuclear weapons. 230 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,424 It is the car. 231 00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:55,469 All our American cars were built before 1960. 232 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:58,973 And studies show that exposure to objects from your youth 233 00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:00,933 can help you feel young again. 234 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,519 What studies? Are they peer reviewed? 235 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,812 You know what they are? 236 00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:06,731 A professor, Ellen Langer, 237 00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:10,901 did a study where seniors exposed to culture from the '50s 238 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,279 became more vigorous and engaged. 239 00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:16,616 They even engaged in heavy petting. 240 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,618 There's heavy petting? 241 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,247 Wow, that's the first time I've seen him 242 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:26,375 get a woman's attention without flatlining. 243 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:30,129 Now, here's one that's been in our family for years. 244 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,214 (playing The Simpsons theme) 245 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,723 Well, that saves us going to the beach. 246 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,392 (hums a tune) 247 00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:47,897 Okay, so let me get this straight. 248 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,566 This paladar is a restaurant, 249 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,234 but it's in a home? 250 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,486 That's right. 251 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,571 So I don't have to do the dishes? 252 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,156 You don't do the dishes at home. 253 00:10:57,239 --> 00:11:01,160 Never discuss family business in front of the Cubans. 254 00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:04,246 Homie, this place is so homey. 255 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,082 Look, Grampa's eating like a horse. 256 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,501 So, you are enjoying the horse? 257 00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:11,087 -(gasps) -(laughs) No, no, no. 258 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:14,006 You are not eating a horse. The baby is. 259 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:17,009 (gasps) How many bites have you had? 260 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,765 Gracias. ¿Cómo estás tú? 261 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,850 Bart, you're using informal Spanish 262 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,103 with someone who's not a family member. 263 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,354 Ay, caramba. 264 00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:30,690 Quiet, you kids. I'm watching Castro. 265 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,817 All the best world leaders have beards. 266 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,610 Him, Santa Claus. 267 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,697 And every time he says "collective farming," I take a drink. 268 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:42,702 Recientemente, viajé a una granja colectiva. 269 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,538 Gracias! (gulping) 270 00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,498 ♪ ♪ 271 00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:50,543 (laughs) Look at me, Jasper! 272 00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,962 I'm eating a peanut! 273 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,381 -Who's that guy? -Huh? Who knows? 274 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,842 But I'm sending him a picture of my junk. 275 00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:00,386 -(shutter clicks) -(laughs) 276 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:02,096 Ugh. Disgusting. 277 00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:04,515 300 extra pesos 278 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:07,309 por la hermosa camarera. 279 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,770 Yo no salgo con clientes. 280 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:14,400 Another El Presidente cocktail, Señor Abraham? 281 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:17,528 -I don't remember telling you my name. -You did. 282 00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:20,990 In fact, you were so charming, I want to hook up later. 283 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,868 Not for money, but for nylons and chocolate. 284 00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:26,787 (chuckles) Hey, Macarena! 285 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,956 For me, that's a topical reference. 286 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,876 Why don't you let me buy this round, Abe? 287 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,712 Wheels McGrath?! I knew you in the Air Force! 288 00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:38,716 I haven't seen you since you dropped that A-bomb off the forklift. 289 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:41,761 Yeah, 'member when it just kept rollin' and rollin'? 290 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,637 (both laugh) 291 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,473 Oh, you're looking good, Abe. 292 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,099 Cuba's great. 293 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,810 It's like Florida before all the Cubans came. 294 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,187 So what happened to you? 295 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:55,149 (chuckles) I-I hijacked a plane here in the '70s. 296 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:57,818 Wow! Did you have the chicken or fish? 297 00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,653 I had both. 298 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,530 (chuckles) Crazy! 299 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,283 Listen, there's a place I want to take you. 300 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:06,827 What do you say? For old times' sake? 301 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,663 Yeah, why not? Keep my tab open, Isabella. 302 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,458 I hope I see you again, Abelito. 303 00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:15,294 You will. I never go anyplace new. 304 00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:18,255 So, you just sign the papers and she's committed, huh? 305 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,715 -That's right. -(chuckles) 306 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,717 That'll zap the sass out of her. 307 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,886 Yes. Yes! 308 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:27,056 The future of Angola is the future of Cuba! 309 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,099 (cheering and applause on TV) 310 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:38,317 -(birds singing) -Are you sure we had to take this route? 311 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,319 Hey, I like hacking. 312 00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:43,030 Are you ready for the surprise of your life? 313 00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:45,074 Can you give it to me in stages? 314 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,827 -(gasps) -There she is, 315 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,663 the most hijacked plane in history. 316 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,874 All you had to say was your kid wanted a pair of wings, 317 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,668 and you were in the cockpit. 318 00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,336 I remember their motto, 319 00:13:57,419 --> 00:14:00,589 Skyhawk Air: Nobody try to be a hero. 320 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,342 It's all ready to open as a nightclub, Abe. 321 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,386 All we have to do is clean it up 322 00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:09,431 and hack a 50-foot-wide path to civilization. 323 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,767 Couldn't we just burn a path? 324 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,769 No, I'll do the hacking. I'll do that. 325 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,230 All I need is a front man and a partner. 326 00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,107 You expect me to give you the money 327 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,025 I was gonna leave to Homer? 328 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,945 Okay, I'm in! Aah! 329 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,530 MCGRATH: We'll fix that. 330 00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:26,365 See? Fixed. 331 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,200 -(clink) -(slurping) 332 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,619 ♪ ♪ 333 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,956 (gasps) It's about time! We leave at 2:00! 334 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,458 You leave at 2:00. I'm staying here. 335 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:39,211 Dad, you can't stay in Cuba. 336 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:43,257 For the first time in years, I feel young and healthy. 337 00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:44,800 And I found love! 338 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,886 Don't you want those things for me? 339 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,596 But I can't even leave you in the park 340 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,931 without you losing your wallet in a bush. 341 00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:53,392 It was an investment! 342 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:01,025 So you want to stay and be with your Cuban chica? 343 00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:04,820 -She makes me weak in the knees! -You're always weak in the knees. 344 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,990 That's because I had to sell my cartilage in the '70s, 345 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:11,160 and that cartilage became part of Hank Aaron's wrist. 346 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:14,455 Dad, you're happy now because the new thing is always exciting. 347 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,582 Remember when you got that new pillow? 348 00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:19,251 Oh, that was a mighty fine pillow. 349 00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,337 Hypoallergenic. 350 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:24,340 Oh, what kind of father would you be if you left me now? 351 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:27,009 Son, all you see in me is a burden! 352 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:33,265 Think of me every time you don't visit someone! 353 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,768 (lively Cuban music playing) 354 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,898 ♪ ♪ 355 00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:45,277 ♪ Aquí pensaban seguir ♪ 356 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:48,030 ♪ Ganando el ciento por ciento ♪ 357 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,407 ♪ Con casar de apartamento ♪ 358 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,701 ♪ Y echar al pueblo a sufrir ♪ 359 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,329 ♪ Y seguir de modo cruel ♪ 360 00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,957 ♪ Contra el pueblo conspirando ♪ 361 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,334 ♪ Para seguirlo explotando ♪ 362 00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:02,586 ♪ Y en eso llegó Fidel ♪ 363 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,089 Who knew you can have fun in coach?! 364 00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,299 (chuckles) 365 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,719 I'd like to speak to your black ops department. 366 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,472 -Right downstairs, Mr. Simpson. -Thank you. 367 00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,724 Hmm. How did they know my name? 368 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,850 (whirring) 369 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,978 (whistling a tune) 370 00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,688 I don't know where my dad is. 371 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,815 Don't worry-- each AARP card 372 00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:24,650 contains a secret tracking chip. 373 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,735 (laughs) The magazine is pretty good, too. 374 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,904 -Super easy Sudoku. -Quiet! 375 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,406 This could take a while. 376 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,741 Bam! Got 'em! 377 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,035 Now you have to do a favor for us. 378 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,705 How many baseball players can you sneak home with you? 379 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:40,708 Well... I have to ask my wife, but I'd say 12. 380 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,042 Bam! Done! 381 00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:46,213 Andre here sold secrets to the Soviets. 382 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,007 And this is the guy 383 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:51,093 who came up with the service fee for Ticketmaster. 384 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,386 (grunts) 385 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:54,471 Do you know any good people? 386 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,974 Everyone's got their embarrassments, Abe. 387 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,476 -I'm sure you got yours. -HOMER: Dad! 388 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,645 And up he walks. 389 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:04,314 What are you doing here? Who are these people? 390 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:07,276 This guy was the biggest drug lord in North American history. 391 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,778 And this guy invented Ticketmaster. 392 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,573 You charged me to sell me something! 393 00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,199 Pleased to meet you, sir. 394 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:17,953 (whispers) Abe, come with me to the cockpit. 395 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,747 Are we gonna fly or make love? 396 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:23,125 You will sit there, move nothing, and do as I say. 397 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,127 Hot dog! Makin' love! 398 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,795 (grunts) 399 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,968 (American accent) Miami, this is Jitterbug Justice 400 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,512 bringing back an early bird special. 401 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:38,307 -Miami, do you copy? -MAN (over radio): Uh, we copy. 402 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,103 The nightclub is flying away. 403 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,397 Can't we hold on to anything? 404 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:49,485 GRAMPA: Boy, I didn't think I'd ever be able to do this again! 405 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,945 All you have done is fly without falling asleep. 406 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,031 Just like on my honeymoon. 407 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:58,118 I'm starting to suspect you're not a simple Cuban bartender. 408 00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,996 No, I'm an undercover agent for the CIA 409 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,373 here to recapture fugitives from U.S. law. 410 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:06,502 And when I saw you, I realized you'd be the perfect carcass 411 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,337 to tempt these old buzzards. 412 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:09,797 (sputtering, stammering) 413 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,132 Is there anything I get out of this? 414 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,677 -Yes. You avoid the knockout gas. -Aw. 415 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,472 -(gas hissing) -(body thud) 416 00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:20,265 Oh, thank God. 417 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,810 Usually I can never sleep on planes. 418 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,187 Sometimes I... (weak groaning) 419 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,438 (thuds) 420 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,779 (loud buzzing) 421 00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:36,490 (flamingos honking) 422 00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:40,369 So, that's the end of my Cuban paradise. 423 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:44,039 And like every good thing in my life, I've already forgotten it. 424 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,376 Listen, Dad, I know it was fun, but your place is with us, 425 00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,920 not on some island in the Indian Ocean. 426 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:51,296 I love you. 427 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,799 (both sobbing) 428 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:59,179 Oh, now we're two men hugging. 429 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:02,349 This is no sight for the streets of Miami. 430 00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:05,144 (both sobbing) 431 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,688 Hey, Dad. It's a beautiful day. 432 00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:09,314 Want to hit the links? 433 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,984 Oh, just like we used to. 434 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,113 (horn blows) 435 00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:19,158 -(laughter) -Screw you! 436 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,079 (horn blows) 437 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,581 (horn blows) 438 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:26,999 Look over there. 439 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,378 I just painted a black circle on the green. 440 00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:32,921 MAN: Why, you little... 441 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,007 (laughter) 442 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,510 (laughter continues) 443 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,596 (grunting) 444 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,641 Now, boy, it's 50 cents a golf ball 445 00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,101 from that water hazard. 446 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,687 {\an8}Just move those logs aside. 447 00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:55,777 TV ANNOUNCER: Next on Vulture's Nest... 448 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,071 We all know TV dinners, 449 00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:01,116 but what about toilet breakfasts? 450 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,620 Here's my offer-- no money, and I get 100% of the company 451 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:08,248 because there's no doubt you developed this idea on my time. 452 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,709 -And there's more! -Not now. 453 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,713 {\an8}♪ I'm on my way to Cuba ♪ 454 00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:17,466 {\an8}♪ That's where I'm going ♪ 455 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,011 {\an8}♪ Cuba ♪ 456 00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,639 {\an8}♪ That's where I'll stay ♪ 457 00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:27,184 {\an8}♪ Cuba ♪ 458 00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,937 {\an8}♪ Where wine is flowing ♪ 459 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:34,441 {\an8}♪ And where dark-eyed Stellas ♪ 460 00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:37,486 {\an8}♪ Light their fella's panetellas ♪ 461 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,488 {\an8}♪ Cuba ♪ 462 00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:42,407 {\an8}♪ Where all is gay ♪ 463 00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:44,451 {\an8}♪ Why don't you plan ♪ 464 00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:48,121 {\an8}♪ A wonderful trip to Havana? ♪ 465 00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,999 {\an8}♪ Hop on a ship and I'll see you ♪ 466 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:55,003 {\an8}♪ In C-U-B-A... ♪ 467 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,132 -(crowd murmuring) -Shh! 468 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:04,930 Subtitled by Jimmy Boots