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CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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(grunts)
3
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{\an8}(theme music playing)
4
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(exclaims)
5
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(school bell ringing)
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(Barney belches)
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(playing the blues)
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(tires screech)
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D'oh!
10
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-(tires screech)
-(grunts)
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{\an8}(Homer humming)
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{\an8}(chuckles)
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{\an8}What? What?!
14
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{\an8}Hey!
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{\an8}Up your... Oh, sorry.
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{\an8}Yes, sir.
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{\an8}Who are these guys?
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{\an8}Meh?
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CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
20
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Sir, please, don't do this!
21
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Oh, stop your Smithering.
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(gasps)
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That was easy.
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{\an8}I did it. All by myself.
25
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{\an8}Oh, Smithers,
do you always have to be underfoot?
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{\an8}Sorry, sir.
If there were a less spectacular
27
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{\an8}way to save your life,
I... I should've found it.
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♪ You see ♪
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♪ This guy ♪
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♪ This guy's in love with you... ♪
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{\an8}Mr. Burns, coming down, I...
I thought we weren't gonna make it,
32
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{\an8}and I thought I'd never get to say
something I've always wanted to.
33
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{\an8}-The truth is, sir, I'm in love with...
-The sound of your own voice?
34
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{\an8}Yes, well, no dogwood I,
35
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{\an8}listening to the nightingale
trill her unending tune.
36
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{\an8}Don't take this the wrong way,
but you mean nothing to me.
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{\an8}Someone I give less thought to
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{\an8}than the little piece of popcorn
stuck in my tooth.
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{\an8}Ooh, can you remove it?
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{\an8}(grunts)
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{\an8}I'll see you back at the office.
Don't be late.
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{\an8}♪ ♪
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{\an8}♪ I've lived ♪
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{\an8}♪ Half of my life ♪
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{\an8}♪ Living half of a life ♪
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♪ Waiting for U-2-34 ♪
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♪ Can't you see the fire
burning in my core? ♪
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{\an8}♪ Is there a half-life for hope? ♪
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00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,680
♪ I know the answer is, "Nope" ♪
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{\an8}♪ I've failed at my mission ♪
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-♪ No fusion, just fission ♪
-(alarm beeping)
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{\an8}♪ And now I'm here wishin' ♪
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{\an8}-♪ To be ♪
-(bird caws)
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{\an8}♪ Decommissioned ♪
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{\an8}♪ Have you ever felt down? ♪
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00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,409
{\an8}♪ Much worse than a meltdown ♪
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{\an8}♪ My heart is covered in ♪
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{\an8}♪ Burns ♪
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(gasps)
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{\an8}(gasps)
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(sighs)
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{\an8}(sobs)
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{\an8}Larry, Moe and Curly, get out here now!
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{\an8}(Homer whooping)
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{\an8}So, you like fun and games?
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{\an8}Well, games can be fun, so, uh,
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00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:57,153
{\an8}-that's kind of redundant.
-Would you like to rethink the question?
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(groans) Here's a game for you--
properly stack and store those rods,
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00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,659
then perform a complete turbine
maintenance procedure.
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Routine maintenance?
We never do that.
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00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,704
Lots of us never get to do things.
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Yeah, we know.
We heard your song.
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(groans)
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(piano playing)
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Jacqueline Jones,
reading for the part of Ilsa.
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Oh, I like this one. A cool girl.
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Plus her father owns a print shop.
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Free playbills. Four color.
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Yeah, yeah, smart. Yes.
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I can't fight it anymore.
81
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I ran away from you once.
82
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I can't do it again.
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00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:33,856
Strange choices.
84
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,316
Maybe that scrunchie's too tight.
85
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,528
Well, you can teach acting.
You can't teach popular.
86
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,530
-We've got our Ilsa.
-Are you sure?
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00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,782
Even by school play standards,
she's terrible.
88
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:44,867
Skinner, I'm setting down my clipboard
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00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,786
to signify that all future auditions
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00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:48,329
are just a formality.
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00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,749
Lisa Simpson,
reading for the part of Ilsa.
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00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,167
(groans) The egghead?
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00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,003
Pass. Hard pass.
94
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,587
(in accent) Can I tell you a story?
95
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:59,090
It's about a girl who came to Paris
and met a man,
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00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:01,301
a very great and courageous man.
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00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:02,635
She's good.
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00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,929
Yes, better than
Little Miss Print shop...
99
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,723
and there you are.
100
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,392
Guess what,
you've just been promoted a grade.
101
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:10,727
(chuckles)
102
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,563
Everything she knew or ever became
was because of him,
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and she looked up to him
and worshipped him
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with a feeling she supposed was love.
105
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:19,652
(sighs)
106
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,576
That's it! I'll audition for Rick.
107
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,786
Co-stars are always falling in love--
108
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,497
Brad and Angelina,
Kermit and Miss Piggy,
109
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Mrs. Brady and Greg.
110
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The role of Ilsa goes to Lisa.
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(gasps) Yes!
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The role I was anagrammed to play.
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And since only one child auditioned
for the lead role...
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00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,556
I am proud to announce
Rick will be played by...
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I'm looking for a down-on-his-luck heel
named Skinner.
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(all gasp)
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(groans)
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(gasps, moans)
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-Who are you?
-Name's Jack Deforest,
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and of all the schools
in all the districts,
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I had to get transferred to this one.
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(clicks tongue)
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You've got the part.
124
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,660
Well, that fills out the cast.
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00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:11,371
Milhouse, you're the understudy.
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Understudy?
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Both those words are horrible.
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(bird caws)
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Hey, guys, my, uh, head's a little wet
from the decontamination shower.
130
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,885
-Thanks.
-De nada.
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Let's see how that thing's working.
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(whirring)
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-(all groan)
-Not again!
134
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:42,360
Bring it back, get it working,
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-screw it on tight.
-Both screws?
136
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,239
-SMITHERS: Yes.
-(door slams)
137
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:48,408
He's chewing our ass 'cause he's unhappy.
138
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,660
-What are we gonna do here?
-I know the answer.
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00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:53,121
We have got to get that guy a woman.
140
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:55,957
A woman who can find him a man.
141
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:04,507
Okay, guys,
to get Smithers off our backs,
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I'm gonna find him a boyfriend on this.
143
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,221
Homer, I'm a long-haul trucker,
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who's home-straight and highway-gay,
145
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,184
but, uh, how do you know about Grinder?
146
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,477
My wife put me on to it.
147
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,855
I was looking for an app
for pepper grinders,
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00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,106
and I found this.
149
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,233
Uh, doesn't Smithers dig Burns?
150
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:24,444
Yeah, but Burns doesn't want Smithers.
151
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:27,697
Isn't it sad, Marge,
when somebody really,
152
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:31,033
really, really, really wants somebody,
153
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,203
and they're sitting across the bar
from you married to Homer?
154
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,747
Moe, this is why I don't come here much.
155
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:40,293
Oh, yeah, you're right, Marge.
Hey, uh, I'm sorry.
156
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:45,214
-MOE: Oh, yeah.
-(groans)
157
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,384
Can we just find a boyfriend
for Smithers?
158
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,137
Finally, a use for the Internet.
159
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,473
Hmm, no.
160
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,057
No. Too smoldering.
161
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,560
Too lumberjack.
Too "look how fun I am."
162
00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,061
George Takei?
163
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:02,732
Click me and we will boldly go
to Yogurtland,
164
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:06,360
but be warned--
I don't care for people who cling on.
165
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,487
(laughs)
166
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,571
(groans)
167
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,239
Hey, why am I on this?
168
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,991
Well, only one way to find out.
169
00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:13,409
Swipe.
170
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,204
Maybe we should just
invite them all to a party
171
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,581
and see who Mr. Smithers likes.
172
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,082
Good idea.
173
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,377
(with dramatic affectation)
Did somebody here swipe me?
174
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,630
Here's five bucks.
Visit my Dad. Say you're me.
175
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:28,424
Finally, I'm paid to act.
176
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,179
Tell you what, if you buy
a half-page ad in the program,
177
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:36,432
Sam plays "As Time Goes By"
with Hulk hands.
178
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,184
-(register dings)
-You have a deal.
179
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,314
I'm glad someone's getting
something from this play.
180
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,149
(sighs) As an understudy,
181
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:48,694
all I get is to watch
Lisa and Jack fall in love.
182
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,197
Oh, you're still here.
183
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:55,660
Look, Milhouse, if anything happens
184
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,870
to that kid playing Rick...
185
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,330
you get the part.
186
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:00,998
If you catch my drift.
187
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,667
You know I can't catch.
188
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,544
(slurping)
189
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,337
Don't judge me.
190
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:09,966
Jack, you're amazing.
191
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,552
You're blowing away
everyone else in the play.
192
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:17,723
(in Peter Lorre voice)
You despise me, don't you?
193
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,642
If I gave you any thought,
194
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,894
I probably would.
195
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,646
(in normal voice)
I'll be in my trailer.
196
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,566
This isn't Fiji water.
197
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:30,486
Yo, dingus,
someone doesn't want you in that play.
198
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,072
Who let you three gorillas
out of the zoo?
199
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:35,241
(laughs) Gorillas.
200
00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:37,410
It's not funny.
201
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:38,578
(grunting, shouting)
202
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,163
How'd you get the bullies
to take out Jack?
203
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,915
The most powerful bribe in the world--
204
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,835
a free full-page ad in the play program.
205
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:50,089
It's a funny thing about fists,
everyone gets them,
206
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,925
but not everyone
gets the instruction manual.
207
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:57,346
Oh, no, his mouth wrote checks
his fists could cash!
208
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:03,519
(gasps) Someone is using the go-round
for non-merry purposes.
209
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,689
(over P.A.): Attention--
in Casablanca, the part of Rick Blaine
210
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,274
will now be played by Milhouse.
211
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:10,526
Also, the cafeteria is out of buns,
212
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,236
so for hamburgers we will now be using
213
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,863
two slices of day-old toast.
214
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,364
That is all.
215
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,200
(crunching loudly)
216
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,038
Where you're going, I can't...
217
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,205
Line!
218
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,540
Follow!
219
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,125
Sounds weird to me.
220
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,878
"I can't follow." "I can't follow."
221
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:33,299
Also, why would Nazis respect letters
of transit signed by De Gaulle?
222
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,635
I may be pulling on a thread,
but hear me out...
223
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:36,969
(groans)
224
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,304
(dance music playing)
225
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,389
(indistinct conversations)
226
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,974
Everything looks great, Marge.
227
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,810
-That cheese is cubed perfectly.
-Thank you.
228
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:47,647
I get queasy when I see cubes
that are cut on the bias.
229
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,523
(doorbell rings)
230
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,567
Oh, Mr. Smithers.
231
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,069
Come in, come in, come in.
232
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,820
Can I get you a Tom Collins?
233
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,073
Hello, Tom Collins.
234
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,992
Hmm, I see what's going on here.
235
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,745
Fix up your boss
so he won't be so hard on you.
236
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,247
Well, nice try.
237
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:08,834
I want a vodka tonic,
and then I'm gonna leave.
238
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,961
Mr. Collins, would you be charmed
239
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,673
by horror stories
of working with Bill Shatner?
240
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,425
-Uh, who?
-I like you already.
241
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,510
You know what?
242
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:20,012
I don't think that attitude
is the real you.
243
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:24,225
I believe you have a pinched nerve
in your neck, and guess what?
244
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:27,687
You're in luck,
because I give great massage.
245
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,480
-Sorry, not interested.
-(bones pop)
246
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,565
Wow, wow.
247
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,817
How did you do that?
248
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,945
Would you like to discuss that
over Peruvian tapas?
249
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,989
Simpson, I'm stealing your bartender.
Take the next couple days off.
250
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,534
Whoo-hoo! Three-day bender!
251
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,706
Are there any gay-themed songs
about celebrating?
252
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,166
♪ Celebrate ♪
253
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,419
♪ Good times, come on ♪
254
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:52,920
♪ Let's celebrate... ♪
255
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:55,297
Did you used to jog with Monty?
256
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,508
Mm, sort of.
257
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,510
♪ Celebrate good times, come on ♪
258
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,637
♪ Let's celebrate ♪
259
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,641
♪ There's a party going on right here ♪
260
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:09,061
♪ A celebration to last
throughout the years... ♪
261
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,564
(door opens)
262
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,899
(humming)
263
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,860
Smithers, where have you been?
264
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:17,403
I'm dictating my autobiography.
265
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:19,989
Chapter One--
A Commotion at the Telegraph Office.
266
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:21,824
I'm afraid I have other plans.
267
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:23,284
There are no other plans.
268
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,286
Now take my picture for the back cover.
269
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:27,997
No, sir, I don't think I will.
270
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,750
In fact, what I'm going to do is...
271
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,585
quit!
272
00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:35,171
(gasps) My God, I did it.
273
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,255
I actually quit.
274
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,340
No one quits me.
275
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,343
(groans)
276
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,264
One more button.
277
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:46,348
(screams)
278
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,851
You're forgetting
who installed this system.
279
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,146
MR. BURNS: Ahoy-hoy!
280
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:56,484
(bird caws)
281
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,861
So, you want time off
for your sister's funeral?
282
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:02,865
(laughs)
Miss Naegle, release the hounds.
283
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,074
Wh-What do you mean?
284
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:06,660
Send vicious dogs to rip him to shreds.
285
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,829
But wouldn't I be criminally liable?
286
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,998
I said release! Release, release!
287
00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:13,375
That sounds vaguely sexual.
288
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,127
I'm gonna have to file a grievance.
289
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:18,172
Also, let's just see how you've been
treating those hounds.
290
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:19,340
What the...
291
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,884
Okay, we're gonna have
to shut this all down.
292
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,928
You know, he doesn't
give me health insurance...
293
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,555
and I, uh, I think I have rabies.
294
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,182
Okay, that's it, Mr. Burns.
295
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:30,768
I'm gonna need to speak
to your head of Human Resources.
296
00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:32,269
It's this guy.
297
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,735
Um... what are you doing?
298
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,238
Oh, sorry.
I used to do that for Mr. Burns.
299
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,240
Ah, forget about Burns.
300
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,616
Ancient-a history.
301
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:48,118
I left-a the Italy 40 years ago,
302
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:49,912
but do you see me-a crying
303
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:53,666
in my pappardelle rustiche
con salsiccia e porri?
304
00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:56,418
Waylon, just what did you see in him?
305
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,504
♪ ♪
306
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:05,344
Now to set her down gently
on the golf course.
307
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:13,435
You're right, totally.
I'm here for you.
308
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,980
Listen, I'm making a trip to Cuba, okay?
309
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:20,109
My homeland,
where my accent is not so "reedicoloss."
310
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,194
Come with me to Havana.
311
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,238
(Cuban music playing)
312
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:29,118
SMITHERS:
Wait a minute. I'm... not sure.
313
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,953
But this is the route we're gonna take.
314
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:33,289
Oh, what the hell,
this is gonna be the time of my life.
315
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,207
I'm in!
316
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:40,421
(crying) Milhouse is the worst actor
I've ever seen,
317
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:43,215
and I have to play opposite him!
318
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,217
He's so bad.
319
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,219
Look at his headshot.
320
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,221
{\an8}(Marge groans)
321
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:52,474
Whenever I'm dealing with someone
who isn't doing a great job,
322
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,394
what I do is treat them
like they're perfect.
323
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:56,645
(sniffles) Really?
324
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,732
If they sense you believe in them,
they'll get better.
325
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:01,317
Did our taxes, Marge.
326
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,819
The government owes us $2 million.
327
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,155
That is really, really great,
328
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,990
but maybe you should check again.
329
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,075
What? Oh, I... my mistake.
330
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,660
We owe them $37.
331
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,787
That's some nice adding.
332
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,414
Yeah.
333
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,918
(Cuban music playing)
334
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,548
I've done it. I'm happy.
335
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:27,343
I'm in a new world
and completely forgotten about...
336
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:30,095
-(shouts)
-What, the Buzzard of Death?
337
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,890
(gasps)
It reminds you of him!
338
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:34,558
-I'm sorry, sir.
-(gasps)
339
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,852
You address me like I am him.
340
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,687
Everything reminds you of him!
341
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,940
I bet that mural of him
342
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,192
being driven out of Cuba in 1959
343
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,569
reminds you of him!
344
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:50,282
Waylon, I am a man who needs
100% commitment, okay?
345
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,327
Okay, well, maybe not 100,
346
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:56,830
but at least, like, 20, you know,
which is the percentage
347
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,124
that your cell phone needs
to stay in the green.
348
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,834
So tell me now, Waylon.
349
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,670
Am I in the green?
350
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,422
(sighs) I'm afraid not.
351
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,049
♪ ♪
352
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:10,469
(sobbing)
Beneath this mask I am crying.
353
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:14,223
Everyone who's replaced Smithers
has been nothing but trouble.
354
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,933
You're my lawyers,
tell me what to do.
355
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:19,436
Sir, I think your only option
is to get Mr. Smithers back.
356
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,771
You'll have to give him money.
357
00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:22,856
Lots of money, but it won't be enough.
358
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,149
(lawyers muttering agreement)
359
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,235
Yes, I suppose what this calls for
360
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:29,738
is a personal apology
straight from my heart.
361
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,157
Have it on my desk first thing tomorrow.
362
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,577
And write yourselves apologies
from me to you
363
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,162
for making you work late,
364
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:40,457
and they'd better sound sincere.
365
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:44,003
(orchestra tuning)
366
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:50,009
You're going to be great.
367
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,468
I already am...
368
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,804
because you just told me so.
369
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:55,597
Oh. (giggles)
370
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,224
Thank you.
371
00:16:57,307 --> 00:17:00,644
So, what brought you to Casablanca?
372
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:03,355
I came here for the waters.
373
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:06,442
There are no waters in Casablanca.
374
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,527
I was misinformed.
375
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,446
(audience cheers)
376
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:13,323
Is it just me
or is Milhouse really killing it?
377
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,534
He's like a young Noah Wyle.
378
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,037
-(crickets chirping)
-(groans)
379
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,664
If that plane leaves the ground
and you're not with him,
380
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:21,957
you'll regret it.
381
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,960
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow,
382
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,629
but soon and for the rest of your life.
383
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,339
(audience cheers)
384
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,632
You did it, Marge.
385
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,760
This earns my highest praise--
386
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,219
get through-able.
387
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,055
(cheering)
388
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,060
Milhouse, you were incredible.
389
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,062
Maybe that's because...
390
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:45,147
(normal voice) I'm not Milhouse.
391
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:46,690
(gasps)
392
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,984
Oh, but, is Milhouse okay?
393
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,446
-Is Milhouse ever okay?
-Good point. (laughs)
394
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,156
Now let's go to the soda fountain
395
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,575
and ask the jerk for a float
with two straws.
396
00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:58,744
What year are you from?
(laughs)
397
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,662
Oh, who cares?
398
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,500
Mr. Burns, Mr. Smithers,
399
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:08,420
I make-a something
very special for your reunion.
400
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,172
One cheese pizza.
401
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:12,674
Well, Smithers, I got here as soon
as I heard you wanted to meet.
402
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,135
Took something called Uber,
which I thought would be
403
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:18,222
a Wehrmacht staff car,
but turned out to be a... (groans)
404
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,641
Prius, driven by a...
(groans) woman.
405
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:21,934
Now, down to business.
406
00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:26,230
{\an8}MR. BURNS: It's all here.
Everything it'll take to get him back.
407
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,357
{\an8}Oh, no, forgot the Starbucks card.
408
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,650
{\an8}Is it too late to...
409
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,902
Sir, before you start,
let me say I don't want money,
410
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:34,696
and I don't want some letter
written by your lawyers.
411
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,116
I want to know why you want me back.
412
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,617
I see.
413
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,494
Well, the thing is,
414
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:42,955
you really care about me, don't you?
415
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:45,457
Maybe a little, still.
416
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:48,085
All right, Smithers.
There's one thing I've never given you.
417
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:50,712
I kept it bottled up
inside all these years,
418
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,005
and here it is...
419
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,299
-your performance review.
-(gasps)
420
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,135
It's... excellent.
421
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:59,471
Amazingly, that's enough.
Thank you, sir.
422
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:03,433
♪ You must remember this ♪
423
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,019
♪ A kiss is just a kiss... ♪
424
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,563
No music!
425
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,654
I heard you serve 10-year-olds.
426
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:17,906
That's referring to the age
of the pickled eggs,
427
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,700
but, uh, I'll get you a milk.
428
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,828
Mr. Smithers,
429
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:26,248
why do guys do such stupid things
when it comes to dames?
430
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,709
Hey, you been talking
to that weird Bogart kid?
431
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:33,130
He came around here trying to talk me
into an expedition to find some gold.
432
00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:35,591
Yeah, so I'm getting the mules.
433
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,467
Let me tell you about dames, Milhouse.
434
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,720
I know nothing about them,
but as for love,
435
00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:41,680
what keeps you going
is the thrill of the chase.
436
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:44,099
The possibility that one day
you might get what you want,
437
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,186
even though the reality
is you probably never will.
438
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:50,606
That's why I don't chase dames.
Just gold.
439
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:53,817
I'll be back in six months
with one-third of the biggest treasure
440
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,319
you ever saw.
441
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:57,613
(dramatic orchestration playing)
442
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:13,629
♪ ♪
443
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,137
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!
444
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,935
Subtitled by A. Vandelay