1
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,379
{\an8}-(bells jingling)
-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:06,214
{\an8}Ho, ho, ho!
3
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:09,718
D'oh!
4
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,178
-(tires screeches)
-(grunts)
5
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:17,225
Oh, are we gonna stay Roto-Rootered
like this the whole show?
6
00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,102
It's rotoscoped, Dad.
7
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,688
Well, whatever it is,
it's making me sick.
8
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,899
A noble experiment that failed.
9
00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:33,658
(acoustic guitar playing)
10
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,666
BART: Why is the sky blue?
11
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,127
Hmm... I don't know. Just is.
12
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,796
-Why are clouds white?
-No clue.
13
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,590
Why are people yellow?
14
00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:50,425
It's the way God made them.
15
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:51,676
Why is grass green?
16
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,636
So you can find your damn golf ball.
17
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,180
Now I have a question for you.
18
00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:57,932
Why did you leave your toy car
on the stairs?
19
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,270
{\an8}-Why is blood red?
-Why do you ask?
20
00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:04,355
{\an8}-It's coming out your ear.
-D'oh!
21
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,734
{\an8}So you'll be staying with Grampa
while your father is on the mend.
22
00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,486
{\an8}-Don't let him near me!
-(grunts)
23
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,988
{\an8}Aah! (sobbing) Ow!
24
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,615
{\an8}(cackles)
25
00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,617
{\an8}(chuckles) Do it again, boy.
26
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,702
{\an8}-I bet he can't control it.
-(grunts)
27
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,371
{\an8}Ow! Aah! Ow...
28
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{\an8}(Grampa and Bart chuckle)
29
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{\an8}Bart, you shouldn't...
30
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,210
{\an8}(stifles a chuckle)
31
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{\an8}-Maybe one more.
-(grunts)
32
00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:30,048
{\an8}-HOMER: Aah! Ow!
-(all laughing)
33
00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,050
{\an8}(humming)
34
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,347
{\an8}Want to play cars?
35
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{\an8}Oh, boy, if I go down there,
I ain't coming up.
36
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{\an8}My dad won't play cars with me, either.
37
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:47,315
{\an8}Calm down, Melvin Q. Mopenheimer.
38
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{\an8}There's other ways of playing cars.
39
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:53,488
{\an8}Feast your eyes on the most beautiful
machine ever made--
40
00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:57,992
{\an8}the 1954 Studebaker Starliner Commander!
41
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,121
{\an8}I bought it brand-new
and forgot about it till today.
42
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,832
{\an8}(impressed whistle)
Can I sit in it?
43
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:07,085
{\an8}Well, I don't know
how you expect to drive it
44
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{\an8}if you ain't sitting in it.
45
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:10,380
{\an8}Grampa! I can't drive.
46
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,006
{\an8}Neither can I, legally.
47
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,633
{\an8}Now let's get going!
48
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{\an8}♪ ♪
49
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,850
{\an8}You know you can season these things
with pepper spray, don't you?
50
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,144
{\an8}Aah! Aah!
51
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,812
{\an8}I need water in my eyes.
52
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{\an8}(screams)
53
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{\an8}(laughs) Let's open her up a little.
54
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(Grampa grunts)
55
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(laughing)
56
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,282
Homer never showed such spirit.
57
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,908
You got gumption, boy.
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I wish this day would never end.
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00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,579
Aw, sorry, Bart.
60
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,080
Time don't stop.
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00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,582
The years go by,
62
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,083
and you don't even realize it.
63
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,169
{\an8}♪ ♪
64
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,972
Grampa, I told you
to get him home by 5:00.
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00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:03,099
His tutor's here to teach him to read.
66
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,434
(sputtering angrily)
67
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,935
When I was a boy,
68
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:09,063
I ain't never did not need
no tutor either no how!
69
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,440
Yes, sirree, ain't!
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00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,193
{\an8}"S-See... the...
71
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:16,237
{\an8}m-m-mou... m-m-m..."
72
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,823
{\an8}"See the mouse.
Mouse hits cat.
73
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,783
{\an8}Cat goes splat."
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00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,036
Very good, Lisa. Very, very good!
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00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,580
And with barely any knowledge
of diphthongs,
76
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,458
sibilants, and phonemes.
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(giggling)
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00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:32,295
{\an8}How come she can read and I can't?
79
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,630
{\an8}All right, calm down, young man.
80
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,924
{\an8}Not to worry, you won't need to read.
81
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,051
{\an8}You see, customers will
just point to a picture
82
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,261
{\an8}of the burger that they want you to flip.
83
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{\an8}(exclaims) Because you're not
gonna have anything going.
84
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,436
Very nice painting, Lisa.
85
00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:50,146
We're putting it right over the couch.
86
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,689
I made a drawing, too!
87
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,816
It's on the refrigerator!
And the wall.
88
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,276
And the curtains.
89
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,278
(horrified gasp)
90
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(gasping, sputtering)
91
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,450
Boy, you've ruined our kitchen!
92
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:03,868
Do you understand?!
93
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:07,121
This is a place of pork chops.
94
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,791
But... do you like my drawing?
95
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:12,835
Homer, please, please.
Just say something positive.
96
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,964
Well, it's a...
97
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,632
colorful example of...
98
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:19,133
something that...
99
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,969
ruined our kitchen!
100
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,720
I can't even find the fridge!
101
00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:26,307
You're not beer. Where is it?
102
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,810
-And who are you?
-We're playing hide-and-seek.
103
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,353
I'm Milhouse.
104
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,814
Milhouse?
What kind of a wiener name is that?
105
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:35,066
A very bad one, sir.
106
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:37,485
-(bell chimes)
-(grunting)
107
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:39,821
That boy is so much trouble.
108
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,823
Never should have had a firstborn.
109
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Should've skipped right to the second.
110
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There's one thing
I can do better than you.
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(chuckles)
I've finished painting the wall,
112
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,500
and it's better than new.
113
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:55,253
In some ways, this was kind of a bless--
114
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-Ha! I got gumption!
-(giggles)
115
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,175
Bart's disruptive behavior
116
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,177
is probably caused by his feeling
117
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,762
that you think other children
118
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,431
are more deserving of attention.
119
00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,516
Mm, I see.
120
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:11,019
And how can we help these other children?
121
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,353
We're here for Bart.
122
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,105
-In a boy like Bart...
-Yeah?
123
00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,441
...the attention he craves most
is from his father.
124
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,860
-Pfft. Good luck with that.
-Take him camping!
125
00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:20,737
I do want to help him, I do.
126
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,156
And your son
is just looking for your love.
127
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,283
Geez. For a psychologist,
128
00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,201
you sure know how
to get into people's heads.
129
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,453
♪ ♪
130
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:31,080
And I brought my flashlight
so we can find our way in the dark,
131
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,416
and my scissors
to cut wood into kindling,
132
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,418
and an air horn to scare away bears.
133
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,503
(air horn blaring)
134
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,550
(chuckles)
135
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,386
BART: Wh-Why are we stopping?
136
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,805
This is where we're camping, son.
137
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,308
I thought we were going to stay
in a tent in the woods.
138
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:53,227
Like the kids that got killed
in that movie you took me to.
139
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:56,898
Son, the woods this time of year
are very outdoorsy.
140
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:58,524
But we'll do fun things.
141
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,778
-Oh, listen! Do you hear that?
-(grinding, rattling)
142
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:04,238
It's the sound of an ice machine.
143
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,740
(sighs) Great.
144
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,116
Come on, let's go hunt...
145
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,659
for the registration desk.
146
00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:10,703
(blares)
147
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,997
ANNOUNCER (on TV):
Andreychuk passes ahead to Hamilton...
148
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:17,293
it's too far in front...
and the ref waves off the icing.
149
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,379
The TV is north of the bed.
150
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,381
(yawns) Better hit the hay, son.
151
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,092
Learning this new remote
really took something out of me.
152
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,928
Never saw a menu button
colored green before.
153
00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:28,388
Whew!
154
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,473
Crazy buttons. (snoring)
155
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,769
So, how was your camping trip
with your father?
156
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:35,853
Okay.
157
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,272
We got lots of Starwood points
at the hotel.
158
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,735
Oh, my thrifty pioneers.
159
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:46,030
-Lisa, how was school?
-The teacher gave me this.
160
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:46,989
(giggles)
161
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,617
"Student of the month"! Wow.
162
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,328
-How long have you been in that school?
-A month.
163
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:55,998
I've been there two years
and no one ever gave me anything!
164
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,917
-(angry grunt)
-(door shuts)
165
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,752
Aw, poor kid.
166
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,839
-Are you taking his dessert?
-Yes, I am.
167
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,757
Up to him.
168
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,635
(footsteps stop)
169
00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:10,596
-Are you eating that cake?
-HOMER: (muffled) What? No.
170
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,681
(footsteps resume quickly)
171
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,143
Son, I know it may not seem like it now,
172
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,604
but you're gonna be glad
to have a sister when you grow up.
173
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,565
You're always gonna
like her better than me.
174
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,066
That's not true.
175
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,403
I love you both the same amount-- 40%.
176
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,780
I gotta leave room in the budget.
177
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,949
Then will you put this on your car?
178
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:32,452
I'll be proud to.
179
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,997
(yawns)
180
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,373
(gasps)
181
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,878
Hmm...
182
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:45,173
Ooh, both those bumper stickers
mean so much to me.
183
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,138
Oh...
184
00:07:57,226 --> 00:08:00,271
Happy birthday!
185
00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:01,814
Well, thanks.
186
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,400
But you know I'm not into Krusty anymore.
187
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,943
You've outgrown Krusty?
188
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,070
First no more "ay, caramba," now this?
189
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,198
-Mom, don't have...
-Have a cow, man?
190
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:13,576
I was gonna say "don't have
a foolish attachment to the past."
191
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,786
Come on, boy. Humor your mother.
192
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,079
Oh, fine.
193
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,207
Don't have a cow. Man.
194
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,625
Yeah...
195
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,086
-(cell phone chimes)
-Oh, my God!
196
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,924
I'm Student of the Month
for 48 consecutive months!
197
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,635
Great, honey! Great!
198
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:33,513
But, you know, it is Bart's birthday.
199
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,473
No, no, no, this is fine.
200
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,850
Just let me fix this.
201
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,102
There. Now it's all about you.
202
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,479
Happy?
203
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,648
I'll go get him.
204
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,566
Oh, it's no use.
205
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,401
He's walking kind of fast.
206
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,238
Blam!
207
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,114
Blam!
208
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,241
Blam! Blam!
209
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,576
(Milhouse laughs)
210
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,245
Hey, you missed one.
211
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,829
Nope, can't do it, my Grampa lives there.
212
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,415
-(siren whoops)
-Stop! Stop right there!
213
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,751
Well, looks like we finally put an end
214
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,837
to this light-mare on Elm Street.
(chuckles)
215
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:09,257
Uh, actually,
it's, uh, Maple Street, Chief.
216
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,759
Thank you, joke police.
217
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,469
Please don't arrest me.
218
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,596
It's a victimless crime!
219
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,682
MOLEMAN: Oh, I can't see!
220
00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:19,642
(tires screech)
221
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,269
(moans)
222
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,438
Looks like a case of Molemanslaughter.
223
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:26,691
Did that sound right to you, Lou?
224
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:28,526
I like it.
225
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,905
-Thanks for letting me hide here, Grampa.
-Hiding?
226
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,449
This is the best visit
I've had in months!
227
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,369
Aah!
228
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:44,625
Now, come get your birthday present.
229
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:45,960
Whoa!
230
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:47,753
I've been asking my parents for this,
231
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,630
but they said I'd break my neck.
232
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,799
Hey, you're gonna break
your neck sometime.
233
00:09:51,882 --> 00:09:53,342
It's important you do it
when you're young.
234
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,635
Like chicken pox.
235
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,722
Now get out before I say
something else preposterous.
236
00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,724
♪ ♪
237
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:12,903
Mom, it's just the Mayo Clinic
Pre-Medical Summer Camp.
238
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:15,156
I would've been totally fine on my own.
239
00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:16,741
-(horn honks)
-No more discussion.
240
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:17,992
Our cab's here.
241
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,745
Ooh, it's one of those new Apple cars.
242
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,042
Really think they should've
stuck with computers.
243
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,836
Have a great trip. Don't you worry.
244
00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:31,172
I'll take good care of our little guy.
245
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:32,506
I'm 15!
246
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,008
(laughs)
247
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:37,136
(baby talk)
Oh, our big boy's getting cranky.
248
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:38,929
(groans)
249
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,848
Homer, this summer
may be your last chance
250
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:43,225
to have a close relationship
with your son.
251
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,769
Don't blow it.
252
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:50,066
So, boy, look at this.
253
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,776
Just us guys, huh?
254
00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:53,361
-Mm-hmm.
-(chuckles)
255
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:56,947
I'm glad we've got the whole summer,
'cause we got a lot to talk about.
256
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,282
Yeah, I guess.
257
00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,742
Let's see.
258
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,535
Um... oh!
259
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,621
When you replace windshield wipers,
260
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,748
you only need to switch out
the rubber part,
261
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:06,957
not the whole blade.
262
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,959
Huh, where can you buy
just the rubber part?
263
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,920
I don't know.
264
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:13,255
Well, I'm glad I told you
that before I died.
265
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,676
So, uh, I'll go to Moe's
while you sort it out, huh?
266
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:20,012
(door opens, shuts)
267
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,683
♪ ♪
268
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,399
(grunts) Yes!
269
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:37,071
-Hey, thanks for coming.
-(giggles)
270
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,615
After washing dishes for a year
they bumped me to prep,
271
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,992
which means I draw up the schedule, babe.
272
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,704
Wow, no more Mr. Minimum Wage.
273
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,539
I didn't say that.
274
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,500
So I just got out of juvie
for the streetlight thing.
275
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,918
But I'm not mad.
276
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,629
I've learned that
the greatest crime of all
277
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,298
is a life without faith.
278
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:01,095
What's wrong?
Is the cross not big enough?!
279
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:08,144
Wow, you make out
just like Terri said you do.
280
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,896
-Wait, you're not Terri?
-No, I'm Sherri.
281
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,440
But the further we go,
282
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:15,276
the more you'll know the difference.
283
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,569
(groans, shudders)
284
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,196
(sniffs) Oh, weed.
285
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,948
That can get me into a lot of trouble.
286
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:26,245
Hey, idiots,
the bong stays in the tree house!
287
00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:27,747
Hey, boy.
288
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,207
(laughs)
289
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:33,669
Are you crazy?
What if the cops come?
290
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,630
(laughing, coughing)
291
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,215
You're here, too?
292
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,885
Yeah, must be weird for you.
293
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,928
And-And think about this, man--
294
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:46,015
the whole world is happening right now.
295
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:48,476
I mean, India, China...
296
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,060
It's crazy.
297
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,645
Can you just leave me here with my dad?
298
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,481
All right, sure.
299
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:55,149
I can fly!
300
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:57,234
No, no, I can't!
301
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,570
I can't! Aah!
302
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:03,949
Dad, why is it you and I
are never on the same page?
303
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,368
WIGGUM: Officer down, man.
304
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,830
Boy, when you arrived, I was terrified.
305
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,082
Because it meant I wasn't a kid anymore.
306
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,084
I had responsibilities.
307
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,504
Truth is, I'm just like you.
308
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:19,924
A misunderstood guy
who wants his family to love him.
309
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:23,052
And maybe we could start with a hug?
310
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:27,264
Aw, I'm so glad we're sharing this.
311
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:29,517
And I'm glad I have one kid
312
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,353
who's never gonna go anywhere
or do anything.
313
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:33,521
Damn it, Homer!
314
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,898
You ruin everything!
315
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,566
(groans)
316
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,991
Grampa, got to talk to Grampa.
317
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,583
{\an8}Grampa, I sure miss you, man.
318
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,419
{\an8}What would you say
if you were here right now?
319
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:02,341
{\an8}If you ever get a chance
to pitch woo at Myrna Loy, take it!
320
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,593
{\an8}She has eyes like a Persian cat.
321
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,887
{\an8}Of course in my day, Persia extended
322
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,390
{\an8}from Algiers to Constantinople.
323
00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:12,643
{\an8}Till the revolt of the eunuchs
in 1916 when...
324
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,938
{\an8}(shouts)
Ooh, you got gumption, kid.
325
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:18,941
{\an8}Find what you love
and follow it to glory.
326
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,734
{\an8}Yes.
327
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,239
ANNOUNCER:
So we're headed into the final round
328
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:28,742
of the Duff Extreme BMX vert competition.
329
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,077
Let's check the scoreboard
330
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,122
while the half-pipe is being
cleaned by the Blood-Zoni.
331
00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:36,083
Dad, one more round and I win!
332
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:38,377
First achievement I can call my own.
333
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,462
Thank God whatever this thing is
334
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,256
is considered a sport.
335
00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:45,342
ANNOUNCER:
Bart Simpson to the gate, please.
336
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,177
Oh, good, we're just in time.
337
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,596
Hmm.
338
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,764
It's not the size of the pennant.
339
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,933
It's what you do with it.
340
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,437
All right, nobody likes a showoff.
341
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,855
D'oh!
342
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,110
-(crowd cheering)
-ANNOUNCER: Oh, man, I love to see this.
343
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:05,070
Simpson's setting up for his signature
344
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,823
suicide no-hander 540 crank-flip!
345
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,422
(gulps)
346
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,257
{\an8}(thinking) I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
347
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,634
{\an8}Finally, I'm me.
348
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:29,345
{\an8}Finally out of Lisa's shadow.
349
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:34,016
No! (grunts)
350
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,185
(grunting)
351
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,811
Yes! Yes!
352
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,730
Thank God I aced chest compressions
353
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:42,066
at Mayo pre-med camp!
354
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:43,484
And Bart's okay!
355
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:46,070
The real star of this BMX tournament is
356
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:47,404
{\an8}Lisa Simpson!
357
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,657
{\an8}CROWD: Lisa! Lisa! Lisa!
358
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,743
-(chanting continues)
-You've ruined everything I've ever done!
359
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,286
Move, quick!
360
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,537
No!
361
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,165
Warned you.
362
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,465
{\an8}Biker, huh? I used to bike.
363
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:07,925
{\an8}I used to have dreams.
364
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:10,344
I used to think disco was coming back.
365
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,304
Now I'm just Stu.
366
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,181
Nothin' Stu.
367
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:18,018
Hey, Bart, you are coming
to my graduation party tonight?
368
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,104
I don't know, man. It's humiliating.
369
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:23,023
My little sister's graduating
the same year as me.
370
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,067
Haw haw!
371
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:28,070
Nelson, how can you say that
with what's happened to you?
372
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,448
Yeah, well,
I bought a totally bitching car
373
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:35,202
with the money I got
selling my pituitary gland.
374
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,997
So cool.
375
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,999
(rock music playing)
376
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:49,299
(crying) I knew I'd break down
when Kearney Jr. graduated.
377
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:50,718
It's okay, Dad.
378
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,761
We still got K-3.
379
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,179
(coos)
380
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,640
-(both laughing)
-Right.
381
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:59,018
Ralph, you joined the army?
382
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:02,646
Yes, because I needed a costume
for this party.
383
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,357
At college I'm gonna reinvent myself.
384
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,110
I'll pretend I have a girlfriend
in Canada.
385
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:12,448
I'll say she lives in Alberta
and her name is Alberta,
386
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:15,576
so I don't have to remember two lies.
387
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,704
Bart! I was getting worried.
388
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:20,080
I'm your oldest buddy.
389
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,707
I was there when you got your nose done,
390
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:24,293
then I was there when you
had your nose undone.
391
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,629
Friends, family,
and a few people we hired
392
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,965
to make our son look more popular...
393
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,717
I love Milton!
394
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,011
Dad, you're embarrassing me!
395
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,721
As usual.
396
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,390
Yes, it's the only thing
your father does well.
397
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:42,436
Can't you two put it aside
for one night in honor of me?
398
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:43,812
-No!
-No!
399
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,023
Oh.
400
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:47,524
Ah, what the heck?
401
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,443
Congratulations, Milhouse.
402
00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:52,613
You made it through adolescence
and you're cuter than ever.
403
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,699
Oh, sweet Lisa!
404
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:59,536
You know I had a rocky childhood
with all the rocks they threw at me.
405
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:02,915
You're the most amazing thing
at this party.
406
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:05,000
Well, excuse me!
407
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:07,503
(groans)
408
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,963
I'm not even the best Simpson
at my best friend's party!
409
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:13,050
Do you know what it's like
to be second-best at anything?
410
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,636
Yeah, I do! I'm going to Yale!
411
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,429
Listen here, Bart Simpson!
412
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,264
I am sick and tired of you blaming me
413
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,600
for every setback you have ever had!
414
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,811
And you have talents, too, you idiot.
415
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,521
You're a hell of an artist,
416
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,564
even though you don't
do anything with it.
417
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,317
You think I'm an artist?
418
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,695
And you already have a true artist's
most important asset.
419
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,405
A miserable life.
420
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:38,909
So if that's all my fault,
you're welcome.
421
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,162
Mwah!
422
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,042
♪ ♪
423
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:02,766
Hey, man. You're looking good.
424
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,394
Thank God Lisa invented
the artificial pituitary.
425
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,729
Sorry, didn't mean to use the "L" word.
426
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:10,774
Listen, man,
a certain someone convinced me
427
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,402
to go around giving back
the lunch money I took.
428
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:16,864
-Here's the first $5,000.
-Wow.
429
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,866
Thanks. What got into you?
430
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,409
Nelson, come on!
431
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,620
We'll miss day six
of the Bolivian Film Festival.
432
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,080
You guys are dating?
433
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,584
Is there any other reason
I'd be going to a Bolivian Film Festival?
434
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,419
I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Bart.
435
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,880
I don't really know
how you feel about me.
436
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,799
Well, you told me I was an artist,
and you were right.
437
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,885
I am, and...
438
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,262
I get to write on the walls.
439
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,806
LISA: Wow, that's beautiful.
440
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:45,309
I do notice there's no me.
441
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,560
Ah, those are the breaks.
442
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:49,438
Why don't I buy you
and your boyfriend a couple beers?
443
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:50,647
Just let me close up.
444
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:51,940
That would be nice.
445
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,401
We'll see you at the car.
446
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:56,069
(door shuts, bell jangles)
447
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:58,906
Aw!
448
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,657
You weren't supposed to see.
449
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,659
Well, I'm glad I did.
450
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,039
Hmm?
451
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,999
You're El Barto?
452
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:10,876
How is that possible?
453
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,344
♪ ♪
454
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,850
-Why are clouds brown?
-Pollution.
455
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:30,270
-Why is the grass green?
-'Cause it's artificial.
456
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,482
Then why are the sprinklers coming on?
457
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:36,068
'Cause I was too lazy to unhook them.
458
00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:38,612
Why aren't we moving?
459
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:41,156
Because you're drunk and I'm stoned.
460
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,159
Why does beer taste so good?
461
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,662
'Cause you've just had seven.
462
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,288
{\an8}BART: Did you like the movie Boyhood?
463
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,249
{\an8}HOMER: Oh, is that what this was?
464
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:52,668
{\an8}BART: How many years of hair
do I have left?
465
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,921
{\an8}HOMER: It disappears
as soon as girls like you.
466
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,798
{\an8}BART: What's the secret of life?
467
00:20:57,881 --> 00:21:00,968
{\an8}HOMER: You can avoid
a lot of awkward situations
468
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:03,387
{\an8}by pretending to be on the phone.
469
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,931
{\an8}-BART: Like what?
-HOMER: Hold on, I got to take this call.
470
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,016
{\an8}♪ ♪
471
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,965
Subtitled by Jimmy Boots