1 00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,379 {\an8}-(bells jingling) -CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:06,214 {\an8}Ho, ho, ho! 3 00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:09,718 D'oh! 4 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,178 -(tires screeches) -(grunts) 5 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:17,225 Oh, are we gonna stay Roto-Rootered like this the whole show? 6 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,102 It's rotoscoped, Dad. 7 00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,688 Well, whatever it is, it's making me sick. 8 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,899 A noble experiment that failed. 9 00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:33,658 (acoustic guitar playing) 10 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,666 BART: Why is the sky blue? 11 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,127 Hmm... I don't know. Just is. 12 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,796 -Why are clouds white? -No clue. 13 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,590 Why are people yellow? 14 00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:50,425 It's the way God made them. 15 00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:51,676 Why is grass green? 16 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,636 So you can find your damn golf ball. 17 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,180 Now I have a question for you. 18 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:57,932 Why did you leave your toy car on the stairs? 19 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,270 {\an8}-Why is blood red? -Why do you ask? 20 00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:04,355 {\an8}-It's coming out your ear. -D'oh! 21 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,734 {\an8}So you'll be staying with Grampa while your father is on the mend. 22 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,486 {\an8}-Don't let him near me! -(grunts) 23 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,988 {\an8}Aah! (sobbing) Ow! 24 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,615 {\an8}(cackles) 25 00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,617 {\an8}(chuckles) Do it again, boy. 26 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,702 {\an8}-I bet he can't control it. -(grunts) 27 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,371 {\an8}Ow! Aah! Ow... 28 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,706 {\an8}(Grampa and Bart chuckle) 29 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,124 {\an8}Bart, you shouldn't... 30 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,210 {\an8}(stifles a chuckle) 31 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,295 {\an8}-Maybe one more. -(grunts) 32 00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:30,048 {\an8}-HOMER: Aah! Ow! -(all laughing) 33 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,050 {\an8}(humming) 34 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,347 {\an8}Want to play cars? 35 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:42,227 {\an8}Oh, boy, if I go down there, I ain't coming up. 36 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,604 {\an8}My dad won't play cars with me, either. 37 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:47,315 {\an8}Calm down, Melvin Q. Mopenheimer. 38 00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:50,026 {\an8}There's other ways of playing cars. 39 00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:53,488 {\an8}Feast your eyes on the most beautiful machine ever made-- 40 00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:57,992 {\an8}the 1954 Studebaker Starliner Commander! 41 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,121 {\an8}I bought it brand-new and forgot about it till today. 42 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,832 {\an8}(impressed whistle) Can I sit in it? 43 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:07,085 {\an8}Well, I don't know how you expect to drive it 44 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,628 {\an8}if you ain't sitting in it. 45 00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:10,380 {\an8}Grampa! I can't drive. 46 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,006 {\an8}Neither can I, legally. 47 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,633 {\an8}Now let's get going! 48 00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:16,886 {\an8}♪ ♪ 49 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,850 {\an8}You know you can season these things with pepper spray, don't you? 50 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,144 {\an8}Aah! Aah! 51 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,812 {\an8}I need water in my eyes. 52 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:28,314 {\an8}(screams) 53 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:31,276 {\an8}(laughs) Let's open her up a little. 54 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,903 (Grampa grunts) 55 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,405 (laughing) 56 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,282 Homer never showed such spirit. 57 00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,908 You got gumption, boy. 58 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,077 I wish this day would never end. 59 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,579 Aw, sorry, Bart. 60 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,080 Time don't stop. 61 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,582 The years go by, 62 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,083 and you don't even realize it. 63 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,169 {\an8}♪ ♪ 64 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,972 Grampa, I told you to get him home by 5:00. 65 00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:03,099 His tutor's here to teach him to read. 66 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,434 (sputtering angrily) 67 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,935 When I was a boy, 68 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:09,063 I ain't never did not need no tutor either no how! 69 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,440 Yes, sirree, ain't! 70 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,193 {\an8}"S-See... the... 71 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:16,237 {\an8}m-m-mou... m-m-m..." 72 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,823 {\an8}"See the mouse. Mouse hits cat. 73 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,783 {\an8}Cat goes splat." 74 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,036 Very good, Lisa. Very, very good! 75 00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,580 And with barely any knowledge of diphthongs, 76 00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,458 sibilants, and phonemes. 77 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,084 (giggling) 78 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:32,295 {\an8}How come she can read and I can't? 79 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,630 {\an8}All right, calm down, young man. 80 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,924 {\an8}Not to worry, you won't need to read. 81 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,051 {\an8}You see, customers will just point to a picture 82 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,261 {\an8}of the burger that they want you to flip. 83 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:44,432 {\an8}(exclaims) Because you're not gonna have anything going. 84 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,436 Very nice painting, Lisa. 85 00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:50,146 We're putting it right over the couch. 86 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,689 I made a drawing, too! 87 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,816 It's on the refrigerator! And the wall. 88 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,276 And the curtains. 89 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,278 (horrified gasp) 90 00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,281 (gasping, sputtering) 91 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,450 Boy, you've ruined our kitchen! 92 00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:03,868 Do you understand?! 93 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:07,121 This is a place of pork chops. 94 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,791 But... do you like my drawing? 95 00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:12,835 Homer, please, please. Just say something positive. 96 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,964 Well, it's a... 97 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,632 colorful example of... 98 00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:19,133 something that... 99 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,969 ruined our kitchen! 100 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,720 I can't even find the fridge! 101 00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:26,307 You're not beer. Where is it? 102 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,810 -And who are you? -We're playing hide-and-seek. 103 00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,353 I'm Milhouse. 104 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,814 Milhouse? What kind of a wiener name is that? 105 00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:35,066 A very bad one, sir. 106 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:37,485 -(bell chimes) -(grunting) 107 00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:39,821 That boy is so much trouble. 108 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,823 Never should have had a firstborn. 109 00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:43,825 Should've skipped right to the second. 110 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,412 There's one thing I can do better than you. 111 00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,790 (chuckles) I've finished painting the wall, 112 00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,500 and it's better than new. 113 00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:55,253 In some ways, this was kind of a bless-- 114 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,340 -Ha! I got gumption! -(giggles) 115 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,175 Bart's disruptive behavior 116 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,177 is probably caused by his feeling 117 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,762 that you think other children 118 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,431 are more deserving of attention. 119 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,516 Mm, I see. 120 00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:11,019 And how can we help these other children? 121 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,353 We're here for Bart. 122 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,105 -In a boy like Bart... -Yeah? 123 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,441 ...the attention he craves most is from his father. 124 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,860 -Pfft. Good luck with that. -Take him camping! 125 00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:20,737 I do want to help him, I do. 126 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,156 And your son is just looking for your love. 127 00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,283 Geez. For a psychologist, 128 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,201 you sure know how to get into people's heads. 129 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,453 ♪ ♪ 130 00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:31,080 And I brought my flashlight so we can find our way in the dark, 131 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,416 and my scissors to cut wood into kindling, 132 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,418 and an air horn to scare away bears. 133 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,503 (air horn blaring) 134 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,550 (chuckles) 135 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,386 BART: Wh-Why are we stopping? 136 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,805 This is where we're camping, son. 137 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,308 I thought we were going to stay in a tent in the woods. 138 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:53,227 Like the kids that got killed in that movie you took me to. 139 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:56,898 Son, the woods this time of year are very outdoorsy. 140 00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:58,524 But we'll do fun things. 141 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,778 -Oh, listen! Do you hear that? -(grinding, rattling) 142 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:04,238 It's the sound of an ice machine. 143 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,740 (sighs) Great. 144 00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,116 Come on, let's go hunt... 145 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,659 for the registration desk. 146 00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:10,703 (blares) 147 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,997 ANNOUNCER (on TV): Andreychuk passes ahead to Hamilton... 148 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:17,293 it's too far in front... and the ref waves off the icing. 149 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,379 The TV is north of the bed. 150 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,381 (yawns) Better hit the hay, son. 151 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,092 Learning this new remote really took something out of me. 152 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,928 Never saw a menu button colored green before. 153 00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:28,388 Whew! 154 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,473 Crazy buttons. (snoring) 155 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,769 So, how was your camping trip with your father? 156 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:35,853 Okay. 157 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,272 We got lots of Starwood points at the hotel. 158 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,735 Oh, my thrifty pioneers. 159 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:46,030 -Lisa, how was school? -The teacher gave me this. 160 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:46,989 (giggles) 161 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,617 "Student of the month"! Wow. 162 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,328 -How long have you been in that school? -A month. 163 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:55,998 I've been there two years and no one ever gave me anything! 164 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,917 -(angry grunt) -(door shuts) 165 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,752 Aw, poor kid. 166 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,839 -Are you taking his dessert? -Yes, I am. 167 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,757 Up to him. 168 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,635 (footsteps stop) 169 00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:10,596 -Are you eating that cake? -HOMER: (muffled) What? No. 170 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,681 (footsteps resume quickly) 171 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,143 Son, I know it may not seem like it now, 172 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,604 but you're gonna be glad to have a sister when you grow up. 173 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,565 You're always gonna like her better than me. 174 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,066 That's not true. 175 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,403 I love you both the same amount-- 40%. 176 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,780 I gotta leave room in the budget. 177 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,949 Then will you put this on your car? 178 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:32,452 I'll be proud to. 179 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,997 (yawns) 180 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,373 (gasps) 181 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,878 Hmm... 182 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:45,173 Ooh, both those bumper stickers mean so much to me. 183 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,138 Oh... 184 00:07:57,226 --> 00:08:00,271 Happy birthday! 185 00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:01,814 Well, thanks. 186 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,400 But you know I'm not into Krusty anymore. 187 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,943 You've outgrown Krusty? 188 00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,070 First no more "ay, caramba," now this? 189 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,198 -Mom, don't have... -Have a cow, man? 190 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:13,576 I was gonna say "don't have a foolish attachment to the past." 191 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,786 Come on, boy. Humor your mother. 192 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,079 Oh, fine. 193 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,207 Don't have a cow. Man. 194 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,625 Yeah... 195 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,086 -(cell phone chimes) -Oh, my God! 196 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,924 I'm Student of the Month for 48 consecutive months! 197 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,635 Great, honey! Great! 198 00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:33,513 But, you know, it is Bart's birthday. 199 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,473 No, no, no, this is fine. 200 00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,850 Just let me fix this. 201 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,102 There. Now it's all about you. 202 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,479 Happy? 203 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,648 I'll go get him. 204 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,566 Oh, it's no use. 205 00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,401 He's walking kind of fast. 206 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,238 Blam! 207 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,114 Blam! 208 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,241 Blam! Blam! 209 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,576 (Milhouse laughs) 210 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,245 Hey, you missed one. 211 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,829 Nope, can't do it, my Grampa lives there. 212 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,415 -(siren whoops) -Stop! Stop right there! 213 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,751 Well, looks like we finally put an end 214 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,837 to this light-mare on Elm Street. (chuckles) 215 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:09,257 Uh, actually, it's, uh, Maple Street, Chief. 216 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,759 Thank you, joke police. 217 00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,469 Please don't arrest me. 218 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,596 It's a victimless crime! 219 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,682 MOLEMAN: Oh, I can't see! 220 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:19,642 (tires screech) 221 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,269 (moans) 222 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,438 Looks like a case of Molemanslaughter. 223 00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:26,691 Did that sound right to you, Lou? 224 00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:28,526 I like it. 225 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,905 -Thanks for letting me hide here, Grampa. -Hiding? 226 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,449 This is the best visit I've had in months! 227 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,369 Aah! 228 00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:44,625 Now, come get your birthday present. 229 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:45,960 Whoa! 230 00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:47,753 I've been asking my parents for this, 231 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,630 but they said I'd break my neck. 232 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,799 Hey, you're gonna break your neck sometime. 233 00:09:51,882 --> 00:09:53,342 It's important you do it when you're young. 234 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,635 Like chicken pox. 235 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,722 Now get out before I say something else preposterous. 236 00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,724 ♪ ♪ 237 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:12,903 Mom, it's just the Mayo Clinic Pre-Medical Summer Camp. 238 00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:15,156 I would've been totally fine on my own. 239 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:16,741 -(horn honks) -No more discussion. 240 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:17,992 Our cab's here. 241 00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,745 Ooh, it's one of those new Apple cars. 242 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,042 Really think they should've stuck with computers. 243 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,836 Have a great trip. Don't you worry. 244 00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:31,172 I'll take good care of our little guy. 245 00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:32,506 I'm 15! 246 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,008 (laughs) 247 00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:37,136 (baby talk) Oh, our big boy's getting cranky. 248 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:38,929 (groans) 249 00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,848 Homer, this summer may be your last chance 250 00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:43,225 to have a close relationship with your son. 251 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,769 Don't blow it. 252 00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:50,066 So, boy, look at this. 253 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,776 Just us guys, huh? 254 00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:53,361 -Mm-hmm. -(chuckles) 255 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:56,947 I'm glad we've got the whole summer, 'cause we got a lot to talk about. 256 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,282 Yeah, I guess. 257 00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,742 Let's see. 258 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,535 Um... oh! 259 00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,621 When you replace windshield wipers, 260 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,748 you only need to switch out the rubber part, 261 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:06,957 not the whole blade. 262 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,959 Huh, where can you buy just the rubber part? 263 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,920 I don't know. 264 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:13,255 Well, I'm glad I told you that before I died. 265 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,676 So, uh, I'll go to Moe's while you sort it out, huh? 266 00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:20,012 (door opens, shuts) 267 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,683 ♪ ♪ 268 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,399 (grunts) Yes! 269 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:37,071 -Hey, thanks for coming. -(giggles) 270 00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,615 After washing dishes for a year they bumped me to prep, 271 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,992 which means I draw up the schedule, babe. 272 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,704 Wow, no more Mr. Minimum Wage. 273 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,539 I didn't say that. 274 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,500 So I just got out of juvie for the streetlight thing. 275 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,918 But I'm not mad. 276 00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,629 I've learned that the greatest crime of all 277 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,298 is a life without faith. 278 00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:01,095 What's wrong? Is the cross not big enough?! 279 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:08,144 Wow, you make out just like Terri said you do. 280 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,896 -Wait, you're not Terri? -No, I'm Sherri. 281 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,440 But the further we go, 282 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:15,276 the more you'll know the difference. 283 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,569 (groans, shudders) 284 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,196 (sniffs) Oh, weed. 285 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,948 That can get me into a lot of trouble. 286 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:26,245 Hey, idiots, the bong stays in the tree house! 287 00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:27,747 Hey, boy. 288 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,207 (laughs) 289 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:33,669 Are you crazy? What if the cops come? 290 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,630 (laughing, coughing) 291 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,215 You're here, too? 292 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,885 Yeah, must be weird for you. 293 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,928 And-And think about this, man-- 294 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:46,015 the whole world is happening right now. 295 00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:48,476 I mean, India, China... 296 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,060 It's crazy. 297 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,645 Can you just leave me here with my dad? 298 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,481 All right, sure. 299 00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:55,149 I can fly! 300 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:57,234 No, no, I can't! 301 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,570 I can't! Aah! 302 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:03,949 Dad, why is it you and I are never on the same page? 303 00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,368 WIGGUM: Officer down, man. 304 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,830 Boy, when you arrived, I was terrified. 305 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,082 Because it meant I wasn't a kid anymore. 306 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,084 I had responsibilities. 307 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,504 Truth is, I'm just like you. 308 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:19,924 A misunderstood guy who wants his family to love him. 309 00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:23,052 And maybe we could start with a hug? 310 00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:27,264 Aw, I'm so glad we're sharing this. 311 00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:29,517 And I'm glad I have one kid 312 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,353 who's never gonna go anywhere or do anything. 313 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:33,521 Damn it, Homer! 314 00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,898 You ruin everything! 315 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,566 (groans) 316 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,991 Grampa, got to talk to Grampa. 317 00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,583 {\an8}Grampa, I sure miss you, man. 318 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,419 {\an8}What would you say if you were here right now? 319 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:02,341 {\an8}If you ever get a chance to pitch woo at Myrna Loy, take it! 320 00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,593 {\an8}She has eyes like a Persian cat. 321 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,887 {\an8}Of course in my day, Persia extended 322 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,390 {\an8}from Algiers to Constantinople. 323 00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:12,643 {\an8}Till the revolt of the eunuchs in 1916 when... 324 00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,938 {\an8}(shouts) Ooh, you got gumption, kid. 325 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:18,941 {\an8}Find what you love and follow it to glory. 326 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,734 {\an8}Yes. 327 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,239 ANNOUNCER: So we're headed into the final round 328 00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:28,742 of the Duff Extreme BMX vert competition. 329 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,077 Let's check the scoreboard 330 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,122 while the half-pipe is being cleaned by the Blood-Zoni. 331 00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:36,083 Dad, one more round and I win! 332 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:38,377 First achievement I can call my own. 333 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,462 Thank God whatever this thing is 334 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,256 is considered a sport. 335 00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:45,342 ANNOUNCER: Bart Simpson to the gate, please. 336 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,177 Oh, good, we're just in time. 337 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,596 Hmm. 338 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,764 It's not the size of the pennant. 339 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,933 It's what you do with it. 340 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,437 All right, nobody likes a showoff. 341 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,855 D'oh! 342 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,110 -(crowd cheering) -ANNOUNCER: Oh, man, I love to see this. 343 00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:05,070 Simpson's setting up for his signature 344 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,823 suicide no-hander 540 crank-flip! 345 00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,422 (gulps) 346 00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,257 {\an8}(thinking) I'm doing it! I'm doing it! 347 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,634 {\an8}Finally, I'm me. 348 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:29,345 {\an8}Finally out of Lisa's shadow. 349 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:34,016 No! (grunts) 350 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,185 (grunting) 351 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,811 Yes! Yes! 352 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,730 Thank God I aced chest compressions 353 00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:42,066 at Mayo pre-med camp! 354 00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:43,484 And Bart's okay! 355 00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:46,070 The real star of this BMX tournament is 356 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:47,404 {\an8}Lisa Simpson! 357 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,657 {\an8}CROWD: Lisa! Lisa! Lisa! 358 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,743 -(chanting continues) -You've ruined everything I've ever done! 359 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,286 Move, quick! 360 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,537 No! 361 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,165 Warned you. 362 00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,465 {\an8}Biker, huh? I used to bike. 363 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:07,925 {\an8}I used to have dreams. 364 00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:10,344 I used to think disco was coming back. 365 00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,304 Now I'm just Stu. 366 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,181 Nothin' Stu. 367 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:18,018 Hey, Bart, you are coming to my graduation party tonight? 368 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,104 I don't know, man. It's humiliating. 369 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:23,023 My little sister's graduating the same year as me. 370 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,067 Haw haw! 371 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:28,070 Nelson, how can you say that with what's happened to you? 372 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,448 Yeah, well, I bought a totally bitching car 373 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:35,202 with the money I got selling my pituitary gland. 374 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,997 So cool. 375 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,999 (rock music playing) 376 00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:49,299 (crying) I knew I'd break down when Kearney Jr. graduated. 377 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:50,718 It's okay, Dad. 378 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,761 We still got K-3. 379 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,179 (coos) 380 00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,640 -(both laughing) -Right. 381 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:59,018 Ralph, you joined the army? 382 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:02,646 Yes, because I needed a costume for this party. 383 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,357 At college I'm gonna reinvent myself. 384 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,110 I'll pretend I have a girlfriend in Canada. 385 00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:12,448 I'll say she lives in Alberta and her name is Alberta, 386 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:15,576 so I don't have to remember two lies. 387 00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,704 Bart! I was getting worried. 388 00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:20,080 I'm your oldest buddy. 389 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,707 I was there when you got your nose done, 390 00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:24,293 then I was there when you had your nose undone. 391 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,629 Friends, family, and a few people we hired 392 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,965 to make our son look more popular... 393 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,717 I love Milton! 394 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,011 Dad, you're embarrassing me! 395 00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,721 As usual. 396 00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,390 Yes, it's the only thing your father does well. 397 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:42,436 Can't you two put it aside for one night in honor of me? 398 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:43,812 -No! -No! 399 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,023 Oh. 400 00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:47,524 Ah, what the heck? 401 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,443 Congratulations, Milhouse. 402 00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:52,613 You made it through adolescence and you're cuter than ever. 403 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,699 Oh, sweet Lisa! 404 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:59,536 You know I had a rocky childhood with all the rocks they threw at me. 405 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:02,915 You're the most amazing thing at this party. 406 00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:05,000 Well, excuse me! 407 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:07,503 (groans) 408 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,963 I'm not even the best Simpson at my best friend's party! 409 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:13,050 Do you know what it's like to be second-best at anything? 410 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,636 Yeah, I do! I'm going to Yale! 411 00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,429 Listen here, Bart Simpson! 412 00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,264 I am sick and tired of you blaming me 413 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,600 for every setback you have ever had! 414 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,811 And you have talents, too, you idiot. 415 00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,521 You're a hell of an artist, 416 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,564 even though you don't do anything with it. 417 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,317 You think I'm an artist? 418 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,695 And you already have a true artist's most important asset. 419 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,405 A miserable life. 420 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:38,909 So if that's all my fault, you're welcome. 421 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,162 Mwah! 422 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,042 ♪ ♪ 423 00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:02,766 Hey, man. You're looking good. 424 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,394 Thank God Lisa invented the artificial pituitary. 425 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,729 Sorry, didn't mean to use the "L" word. 426 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:10,774 Listen, man, a certain someone convinced me 427 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,402 to go around giving back the lunch money I took. 428 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:16,864 -Here's the first $5,000. -Wow. 429 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,866 Thanks. What got into you? 430 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,409 Nelson, come on! 431 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,620 We'll miss day six of the Bolivian Film Festival. 432 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,080 You guys are dating? 433 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,584 Is there any other reason I'd be going to a Bolivian Film Festival? 434 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,419 I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Bart. 435 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,880 I don't really know how you feel about me. 436 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,799 Well, you told me I was an artist, and you were right. 437 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,885 I am, and... 438 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,262 I get to write on the walls. 439 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,806 LISA: Wow, that's beautiful. 440 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:45,309 I do notice there's no me. 441 00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,560 Ah, those are the breaks. 442 00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:49,438 Why don't I buy you and your boyfriend a couple beers? 443 00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:50,647 Just let me close up. 444 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:51,940 That would be nice. 445 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,401 We'll see you at the car. 446 00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:56,069 (door shuts, bell jangles) 447 00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:58,906 Aw! 448 00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,657 You weren't supposed to see. 449 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,659 Well, I'm glad I did. 450 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,039 Hmm? 451 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,999 You're El Barto? 452 00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:10,876 How is that possible? 453 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,344 ♪ ♪ 454 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,850 -Why are clouds brown? -Pollution. 455 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:30,270 -Why is the grass green? -'Cause it's artificial. 456 00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,482 Then why are the sprinklers coming on? 457 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:36,068 'Cause I was too lazy to unhook them. 458 00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:38,612 Why aren't we moving? 459 00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:41,156 Because you're drunk and I'm stoned. 460 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,159 Why does beer taste so good? 461 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,662 'Cause you've just had seven. 462 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,288 {\an8}BART: Did you like the movie Boyhood? 463 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,249 {\an8}HOMER: Oh, is that what this was? 464 00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:52,668 {\an8}BART: How many years of hair do I have left? 465 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,921 {\an8}HOMER: It disappears as soon as girls like you. 466 00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,798 {\an8}BART: What's the secret of life? 467 00:20:57,881 --> 00:21:00,968 {\an8}HOMER: You can avoid a lot of awkward situations 468 00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:03,387 {\an8}by pretending to be on the phone. 469 00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,931 {\an8}-BART: Like what? -HOMER: Hold on, I got to take this call. 470 00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,016 {\an8}♪ ♪ 471 00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,965 Subtitled by Jimmy Boots