1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,921
-(all exclaiming)
-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,297
D'oh!
3
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,509
D'oh!
4
00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:10,593
(tires screeching)
5
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:13,763
♪ I don't believe it ♪
6
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,265
♪ When you tell me ♪
7
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:16,766
♪ That it's all gone bad ♪
8
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,268
♪ It's true ♪
9
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:19,602
♪ To... you... ♪
10
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,147
-BART: Whoa!
-(tires screech)
11
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,864
{\an8}-(alarm sounding)
-(birds squawking)
12
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:32,032
(alarm continues)
13
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,284
(soft groaning, snoring)
Huh?
14
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,536
Where's the snooze button?
15
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,747
Ah, that's better.
16
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,165
(explosion)
17
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:41,791
Hey, what?
I gotta get out of here!
18
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,334
-(alarm blaring)
-It's... (yawns)
19
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:44,961
After just five more minutes.
20
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,463
(yawns)
21
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,882
(alarm blaring)
22
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,137
(laughing)
Oh... Marge...
23
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,473
On a Tuesday?
24
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,560
{\an8}DR. HIBBERT:
Yet again, Homer will be fine.
25
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,231
{\an8}Mm. He's been sleeping
an awful lot.
26
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,525
{\an8}Look at these vacation photos.
27
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,360
{\an8}DR. HIBBERT: Oh, my!
28
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,154
{\an8}(chuckling)
29
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,823
{\an8}Man, you people sure
take a lot of vacations.
30
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,409
{\an8}MARGE: That's just to remind me
where I parked.
31
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:19,829
{\an8}Hmm. I think I have an idea
of what might be going on.
32
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,331
{\an8}(gasps)
Huh? What?
33
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,500
{\an8}First, you're gonna need
a spinal tap.
34
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,543
{\an8}Please be the band.
Please be the band.
35
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,003
{\an8}Oh!
36
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,547
{\an8}Aren't you supposed
to give him anesthetic?
37
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,758
{\an8}Oh, I knew I forgot something.
38
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:33,760
{\an8}(screaming) Ow!
39
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,099
{\an8}(printer whirring)
40
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,727
{\an8}Oof. Very low levels of hypocretin.
41
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,355
{\an8}I'm afraid Homer has... narcolepsy.
42
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:48,024
{\an8}Doctor, is it time to pull the plug
on my father?
43
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,318
{\an8}No, wait.
I'll spare you that painful decision.
44
00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:52,028
{\an8}HOMER: No, Bart! That's the TV!
45
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,613
{\an8}Ha-ha! That's the other guy.
46
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:54,614
{\an8}Stop that!
47
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:55,782
{\an8}(laughs)
48
00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,951
{\an8}Narcolepsy's merely
sleeping sickness,
49
00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,869
{\an8}and many narcoleptics
do lead normal lives
50
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,913
{\an8}by avoiding stressful triggers
51
00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:04,415
{\an8}like, uh, oh, let's say...
52
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,417
{\an8}-Helping with the laundry?
-Exactly.
53
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,044
{\an8}Having to pay my doctor's bill?
54
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,546
{\an8}(gruff voice)
Don't play with me, man.
55
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,048
{\an8}I will mess you up.
56
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,884
{\an8}Here's a signed certification
of your condition.
57
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,761
{\an8}This is a bona fide
medical excuse
58
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:19,055
{\an8}from doing anything
you find taxing.
59
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,598
{\an8}But you'll only use that
60
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,393
{\an8}when absolutely necessary,
right, Homie?
61
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,894
{\an8}Marge, please!
62
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,813
{\an8}I'll probably never use it.
63
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,815
{\an8}Dad, can you drive me
to Milhouse's?
64
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:29,899
{\an8}Narcolepsy.
65
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,651
{\an8}There's a spider in my room!
66
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:32,902
{\an8}Narcolepsy.
67
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,321
{\an8}Dr. Hibbert called in a prescription
for you to pick up.
68
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,239
{\an8}Narcolepsy.
69
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,283
{\an8}Yes, for narcolepsy,
70
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,826
{\an8}which you should get now.
71
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:41,953
{\an8}You can't spend
half your life napping.
72
00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:44,247
{\an8}Maggie does,
and you think she's adorable.
73
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:47,458
{\an8}Yes, because babies
are always cute.
74
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,502
(grunting)
75
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,005
(coughing)
76
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:55,091
(sniffs) Oh, that baby needs
a diaper change.
77
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,177
Nar-co-lep-sy.
78
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,469
(groans)
79
00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,680
Homie, you have no idea
what it's like
80
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,432
being married to you.
81
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,894
Me being married to me, eh?
82
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,563
("Bridal Chorus" playing)
83
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:09,898
(gasps)
84
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,524
Stop the wedding!
85
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,775
What about our child?
86
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,277
(baby whimpers)
87
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,278
(dog barks)
88
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,654
Don't forget me.
89
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,407
Now I've seen everything.
90
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,203
A window that talks?!
91
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,999
Okay, can you explain again
how I take this medication?
92
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,459
One a day with food.
93
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,045
Yeah, but what kind
of food, girly?
94
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,464
Stuffed cabbage?
A nice bowl soup?
95
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,800
(sighs)
Any idea when you'll get to me?
96
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,469
Well, there's four old people
ahead of you,
97
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,304
so how's Thursday at 1:00?
98
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,640
Oh, you know it's funny
that you should say "one,"
99
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,351
'cause that's how many
grandchildren that I have.
100
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,852
I'm gonna have grandchildren
101
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,896
by the time
I get through this line.
102
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,147
Oh, that's so nice.
103
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,650
-Oh, well, congratulations.
-(giggles)
104
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,860
Narcolepsy, take me away!
105
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,403
Oh! (grunts)
106
00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,739
-(sighs)
-(toy squeaks)
107
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,661
(sniffing)
108
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,162
I smell beer.
109
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,538
Did you go to Moe's?
110
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,832
Every time I have beer
on my breath,
111
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,542
you assume I've been drinking.
112
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,753
(groans loudly)
113
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:15,338
Oh, that's a long one.
114
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,340
Did you at least
get the medicine?
115
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,842
I tried.
And I failed, miserably.
116
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,512
But I'm willing to work this out
in counseling.
117
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,347
(groans) We've been
to every counselor
118
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,766
from Avery to Zabinsky.
119
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,268
But not Zilowitz.
120
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:31,062
HOMER: And that's why
there'll never be
121
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:34,023
another golfer as good
as Chi-Chi Rodríguez.
122
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,193
The name and the game--
he had it all.
123
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,071
Okay, I think we got
a little off-track here.
124
00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:41,864
I know this marriage
isn't perfect,
125
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,243
or even great,
but now I treasure the moments
126
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,911
where it's just so-so.
127
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,455
-(snoring)
-I'd kill for "okay."
128
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,250
Please, please,
just tell me what to do.
129
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,751
I've never said this--
130
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,628
and I don't even know
if I'm supposed to say this--
131
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,881
but this marriage is rotting
with the stench of death.
132
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,884
Oh, that seems a little strong.
133
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,554
How about reeking like
a trash can in a dog park?
134
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,390
Does my marriage have to be
something you can smell?
135
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,600
(snoring)
136
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,644
You see, Marge? You see?
137
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,230
The only way you and Homer
will ever be happy
138
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:18,067
is to spend a little time apart,
followed by more time apart,
139
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,736
followed by a divorce.
140
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,237
What?!
141
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,780
What is...
What, what's going on?
142
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,240
Wait, no, no, no,
I remember.
143
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,242
Happy anniversary.
144
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,910
Homer, Homer, listen to me.
145
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,829
There's just so much
I can take.
146
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:31,581
No, we can save this.
147
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,957
We'll go to a therapist.
148
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,417
We're at a therapist.
149
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,252
How you doin'?
150
00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:39,172
What's going on here?
151
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,049
(sobbing)
152
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,592
Nothing.
153
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:43,760
Everything's fine.
154
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,803
-See?
-(sobbing continues)
155
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,972
I'll love you forever.
156
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,932
Kids, a professional felt
157
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,642
the best way
for your father and me
158
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,979
to work on our relationship
was to give up on it.
159
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,440
But after a while,
Dad's coming back?
160
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,984
-Oh, yeah, of course.
-Maybe not.
161
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:03,696
Oh, Marge, after all my divorce-worthy
statements and actions--
162
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,323
many of which
you don't know about--
163
00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:08,284
how can you kick me out
now that I'm sick?
164
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,703
Narcolepsy is a serious thing.
165
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:14,457
Maybe because you didn't take it
seriously enough.
166
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,420
I pity you!
167
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:24,050
(Homer sobbing)
168
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,344
Why is Daddy going away?
169
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,679
Is it my fault?
170
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,890
Just kidding.
I have been waiting for this.
171
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,309
All my problems
are my parents' fault!
172
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,645
Mr. Flanders,
can I cry on your shoulder?
173
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:36,979
Boys, get my tear dickey.
174
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,773
BOTH: Yay!
175
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,611
(Homer snoring)
176
00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:45,321
-(snoring)
-(alarm beeping)
177
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,365
Five more minutes.
178
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:48,991
(snoring resumes)
179
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,993
Poor guy, living at the plant.
180
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,745
{\an8}And yet he's still late.
181
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,959
♪ ♪
182
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,423
(crow cawing)
183
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,851
Smithers, come up
through my rear and grab me.
184
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,978
Yes, sir.
185
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:30,450
(humming)
186
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,118
(blow dryer whirrs, stops)
187
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,079
(humming happily)
188
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,539
I don't get it, Homer.
189
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,416
You and your wife
may be calling it quits.
190
00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:39,709
How can you be happy?
191
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:43,045
Oh, you guys missed
a very sad montage,
192
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,215
but then I remembered that
after every fight we ever had,
193
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,217
Marge takes me back.
194
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,094
I wouldn't be so cocky, Homer.
195
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,762
Marge has changed
her relationship status
196
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,431
to "It's complicated."
197
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,057
(whistles)
Not good.
198
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,101
Complicated?
What's complicated?
199
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,312
We're not together,
but we're not legally apart,
200
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,814
and I have to fight for
the right to see the children
201
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,232
I spent my life avoiding.
202
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,234
What's complicated about that?
203
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,279
Simpson,
where are your shoes?
204
00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:10,656
-Narcolepsy.
-Oh, sorry, sorry.
205
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:11,949
Now,
to prove everything is fine,
206
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,410
I'm just going
to give Marge a call.
207
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,622
MARGE: Hello, you've reached
the voicemail for Marge Bouvier.
208
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:18,581
(beeps)
209
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:19,832
Oh, my God.
210
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,083
She switched
to her maiden name.
211
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,502
She must be serious.
212
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,337
She's gonna have
to order new checks.
213
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,757
♪ ...fight,
The Itchy & Scratchy Show! ♪
214
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:33,513
(Chopin's "Funeral March" playing)
215
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,599
(doorbell rings)
216
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,018
Eh? Mm!
217
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,731
(cackling)
218
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:46,442
Use a coaster.
219
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,781
Oh, the pigeon sisters!
220
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,574
(pigeons cooing)
221
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,788
Wish my head
was filled with guacamole.
222
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,498
Now, on the bright side, Homer,
223
00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:03,209
guys get in much better shape
when they get divorced.
224
00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:06,170
Not me.
I will not become a cliché.
225
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,672
Well, consider yourself lucky.
226
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:09,465
Most guys never even
get a chance
227
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,342
to lose an amazing woman
like Marge.
228
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:14,178
If Marge is in play,
I'm cleaning up.
229
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,514
♪ Got a date with an angel ♪
230
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:19,308
♪ Got to meet her at 7:00. ♪
231
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,560
(belches)
232
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,186
Hey, guys, knock it off, huh?
233
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:25,523
I'm sure Homer and Midge
just need to talk things out there.
234
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:26,649
(phone ringing)
235
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,484
And there she is now.
236
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,319
Hello, baby.
237
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,656
Y-- Oh, it's the pharmacy.
238
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:37,159
They want me to pick up
my prescription. (sighs)
239
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,828
Well, that man just won
240
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,997
the Saddest Man in the Bar
competition.
241
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,791
I was so damn close!
242
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,755
Whoa, nice fill.
243
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:53,593
You've got amphetamines,
anticataplectics and GHB,
244
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,512
also known as Georgia Homeboy
or Liquid Ecstasy.
245
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,598
Do not take these with alcohol.
246
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,516
What if I've already
been drinking,
247
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,934
and I don't plan to stop?
248
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,269
Are you asking me out?
249
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:04,687
I mean, you're not,
250
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,439
but it seems like
you'd be fun to hang with,
251
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,274
and I'm pretty fascinating myself--
I'm an author.
252
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:10,067
I thought you worked
in a drugstore.
253
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,194
Tennessee Williams
worked in a shoe factory.
254
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,363
Boy, you're pretty fast
with that fact.
255
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,781
You want to go out or not?
256
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,700
Well, I don't know
what you see in me.
257
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,911
I'm just a lonely guy
with a bag full of drugs.
258
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,872
Huh! Come with moi.
259
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,582
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
260
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,792
You're moving way too fast for me.
261
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,377
I get that a lot.
(sighs)
262
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,879
No, what I'm saying is
263
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:33,049
you're walking faster
than I can walk.
264
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,717
How fast can you go?
265
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,512
Pretend you're walking
a very slow old dog.
266
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,682
(both growling, barking)
267
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,978
(rock music playing)
268
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,108
No autographs.
269
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,985
I just need you to sign your bill.
270
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,570
The monkey
made the reservation.
271
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,656
He pays.
272
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,576
I think it's cool
how you owned your own baldness
273
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,994
by shaving your head.
274
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,580
Well, I saw a picture
of Jeffrey Katzenberg once,
275
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,457
and said,
"Yes, that's for me."
276
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,793
Okay, listen,
I'm just floating this,
277
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,419
but have you ever thought
278
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,421
that it might be a good thing
Marge dumped you?
279
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,673
What are you saying?
280
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,758
You guys were so young
when you met.
281
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,426
She was your first girlfriend.
282
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,428
I've dated more girls than you.
283
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,764
But now you're free
to try something new.
284
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,265
Uh...
285
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,767
it's... getting late.
286
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:25,935
I should go.
287
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,853
The donut shop will be...
288
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:30,773
throwing out their...
289
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:33,109
unsold donuts, and...
290
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,487
you can buy them... cheap.
291
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,948
Don't you want
to finish your drink?
292
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:43,285
Eh, you're the pharmacist.
293
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,830
Whoa.
294
00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:48,290
♪ Big city ♪
295
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,835
♪ Bright lights ♪
296
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:54,714
♪ Cool, cool people ♪
297
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:58,342
♪ Big city ♪
298
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,428
♪ ♪
299
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,581
-(Homer laughing)
-(heads laughing)
300
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,334
(Patty and Selma chuckle)
301
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,086
(gagging)
302
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:37,423
(grunting)
303
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,470
Mm!
304
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,016
(laughing groggily)
305
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,100
Hey.
306
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,145
What? Candles?
307
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,188
Clean sheets!
308
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,064
Did I pass out at Urban Outfitters?
309
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,941
Oh, God! Oh, God!
310
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:58,736
I've just committed
the one drunken mistake
311
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,613
I've never made.
312
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,364
Well, Bart.
313
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,369
Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.
314
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,871
What am I gonna
tell Marge?
315
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,206
(gasps)
Don't move!
316
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:11,874
There's a snake
on your butt.
317
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,209
That's a tattoo.
318
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,711
Why would you do that
to your body?
319
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,213
I thought you had one, too.
320
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,507
Those are stretch marks,
young lady.
321
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,300
I've had three children.
322
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:22,718
I got to call my wife.
323
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,762
I thought you guys
were separated.
324
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,972
I'm the kind of man
who never gives up hope.
325
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,432
I own property in Detroit,
326
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:31,227
every Christmas I ask for
size 36 pants,
327
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,854
and I still buy Beanie Babies.
328
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,565
(phone beeps, line rings)
329
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,817
Hello, Homer.
330
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,944
Marge is getting ready
for a date.
331
00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:41,779
Marge? On a date?
332
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:43,656
Yep, but I'll make you a deal.
333
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:48,077
I will try to save your marriage
if you can guess which one I am.
334
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,495
-Patty?
-Wrong!
335
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:50,746
(dial tone)
336
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,289
(sobbing)
337
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:53,624
(dog howls)
338
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:56,627
I'm gonna get one, two, three,
four, five scones.
339
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:57,920
You guys want anything?
340
00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,004
-We're fine.
-No, thanks.
341
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,005
We're all right.
342
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,091
Candace, what is his deal?
343
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,301
-(gasps) Is he paying your rent?
-No.
344
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,595
-Is he giving a kidney to your mother?
-No.
345
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,973
Is he good at sitting on suitcases
that are too full?
346
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:10,641
Yes, but no.
347
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,184
Is he your guest
at a dinner for schmucks?
348
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,102
No.
349
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:15,646
(gasps)
Are you a Humpty Dumpty catcher?
350
00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:17,022
Be honest.
351
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,524
All no.
352
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,943
Does her remind you
of a childhood snowman?
353
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,153
Yes, that's it!
354
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,781
And the great thing is
he will never melt.
355
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:29,034
Man, I would love to get back
into snowman shape.
356
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,579
I can't even fit
in my scarf anymore.
357
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,456
Whoa, this is serious.
358
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,292
Complimentary tattoos.
359
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,211
Yeah, I've always been looking
for the very special lady
360
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,880
who would match up with this.
361
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,465
(whinnying)
362
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,508
All right, very funny.
363
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:45,801
You two celebrating or what?
364
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,553
Two Scorpinos, Moe.
365
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,054
Scorpinos, you got it.
366
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,890
And those are served in a...?
367
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,308
Champagne flute.
368
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,726
Champagne flute, got it.
369
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,644
And that is a...?
370
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,564
Glass! A clean glass.
371
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,983
Ah, coming right up there,
Your Highness.
372
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,776
(quietly)
Nut case.
373
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,612
(car engine revs, tires squeal)
374
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,659
Wow, Homer,
you really stuck the landing
375
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,202
after your separation.
376
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,580
Yeah, it's great.
377
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,665
Except her friends
are always over.
378
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,920
I've been there for three weeks,
and I can't find the TV.
379
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,504
And no one has any problems,
380
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,423
except they talk about them
endlessly.
381
00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:26,050
Kind of like you're doing now?
382
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,218
And the weirdest thing of all is
383
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,346
now she wants me
to meet her dad.
384
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,181
Wow, who pays for that dinner?
385
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,016
I plan to pretend
there's a bug in my food
386
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,392
and get the meal for free.
387
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,602
Smooth.
388
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,229
H-Hello, sir.
389
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,357
Thank you for inviting me
to dinner, sir.
390
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,858
Homer, relax.
391
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,443
I have no problem
with the age difference
392
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:46,070
between you and my daughter.
393
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,864
In fact, I've been dating
a much younger woman myself.
394
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,699
Oh, here she comes now.
395
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,910
(humming happily)
396
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:54,536
-(gasp)
-(gasp)
397
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,207
Okay, okay,
we can be adults about this.
398
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,292
Waiter, champagne?
399
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,964
(sputtering)
400
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,221
So I can't date an older man,
401
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,889
but your girlfriend can?
402
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,933
She's not my girlfriend.
403
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:18,310
Candace and I don't use labels.
404
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:21,397
Mm, doesn't look like she uses
that much shampoo either.
405
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,773
Lay off my girlfriend!
406
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:25,067
Roger is great with the kids.
407
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,777
He even taught Bart
how to bunt.
408
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,737
Oh, so now you're super dad?
409
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,614
When I was a kid,
you were never around.
410
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,074
You missed my high school play.
411
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,076
You told me not to come.
412
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,995
You're supposed
to fight me on that!
413
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:39,748
Well, Marge,
your Roger's not so perfect now.
414
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:43,335
He's got a screwed-up daughter
with a pathetic boyfriend.
415
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,254
Candace, dear, I apologize.
416
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,923
I'm trying so hard
to set my life right.
417
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,800
Oh, speaking of which.
418
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:52,136
Marge, I am going to do
something I should've done
419
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,846
three weeks ago when I met you.
420
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,305
Will you marry me, Marge?
421
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:56,432
Yes.
422
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,517
As soon as my divorce is final.
423
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,936
Then you can put a ring
on my finger, Homer.
424
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,438
I'm already pregnant.
425
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:03,689
You're pregnant?!
426
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,482
But I kept my shirt on!
427
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,401
(echoing)
No!
428
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,695
(snoring)
429
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,613
Huh? What am I doing here?
430
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,116
Sleeping through
our therapy session.
431
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:17,286
Dreaming only about you.
432
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,704
So none of it happened?
433
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:19,955
We're still together?
434
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,957
-Somehow.
-Whoo-hoo!
435
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,127
And you thought our only option
was to break up.
436
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,670
I never said that.
437
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,630
If I told people
that didn't belong together
438
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,550
they shouldn't be together,
I'd be out of a job.
439
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,635
Huh,
I must have dreamed that, too.
440
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,638
Okay, why don't you tell us more
about this dream?
441
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,474
All you need to know
about my dream
442
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,894
is that Marge and I have been
completely turned around by it,
443
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,729
and like Scrooge,
I will demonstrate
444
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:47,232
I have learned my lesson
by making a boy run to the store
445
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,068
and buy me a goose.
446
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,862
I think you're going to have
to do a little more, Homer.
447
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:54,740
Oh, I'll do a lot more
than a little more!
448
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,533
I'll do some!
449
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,494
If you could just be good
for a month,
450
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,496
that would really
show me something.
451
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,081
Absolutely.
452
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,999
Can the month be February?
453
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,167
Okay, March.
454
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,418
(groans)
455
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,588
You did it, Homie!
456
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:11,673
And what a March it was.
457
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:15,344
A beautiful Easter,
a sober St. Patrick's Day,
458
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,096
and impeccable behavior
459
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:20,182
watching the NCAA
basketball tournament.
460
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,934
{\an8}Mm-hmm!
461
00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,393
And with your love, Dad,
462
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,854
I'm eating meat and Maggie's talking.
463
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,859
♪ I've seen trees of green ♪
464
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,362
♪ Red roses, too... ♪
465
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,280
What the...?
466
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,282
(man sings rock version)
♪ I see them bloom ♪
467
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,368
♪ For me and you ♪
468
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,120
♪ And I think to my... ♪
469
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,205
(grunts)
Huh? Huh? Huh?
470
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,582
I got you one of those beers
you enjoy unironically.
471
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,710
This won a blue ribbon in 1890?
472
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,129
What does that mean?
473
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,256
Wait, so this is reality?
474
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:54,049
That other dream
was just a dream?
475
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:58,387
No...!
476
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,222
But you forgot to pay!
477
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,474
(distant)
Oh!
478
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,559
(whimpering)
479
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:06,645
(gasps)
480
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,233
(sobbing)
481
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,318
I've lost everything.
482
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,779
My wife, my family...
483
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:16,822
(sobbing)
484
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,615
You didn't lose me, Dad.
485
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,409
(chuckles) Lisa?
486
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:21,952
You can never lose me.
487
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,453
We share the same blood,
488
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,081
the same mixed feelings
towards Bart,
489
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,918
and you know I'll need support
in my teenage war with Mom.
490
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,754
(sobbing)
Oh, Lisa.
491
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,089
(both laughing)
492
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,632
Oh, Dad.
493
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,092
Dad!
494
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,510
-Aw, sweetie...
-Nothing could ever come between us.
495
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,679
...we'll be together forever.
496
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,264
ROGER:
Lisa, where are you, dear?
497
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,349
I thought we'd get in
a game of chess
498
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,851
before we go pony shopping.
499
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,603
Gotta go.
500
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:48,812
Lisa!
501
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,314
I'll Skype you at Christmas!
502
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:53,859
(echoing)
No...!
503
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,447
(Homer snoring)
504
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,616
Huh, so it was all my dream.
505
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,452
I better find out
what this all means.
506
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,621
It means,
like all married women,
507
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,706
sometimes you're sick
of your husband,
508
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,292
but sometimes you're afraid
of losing him.
509
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:13,795
And like all married men,
I didn't hear that first thing,
510
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,548
and I'm overconfident
of the second.
511
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,091
So what do we do?
512
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:21,303
I need some kind of guidance
to take away from all of this.
513
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:23,972
Put your finger on it
so I can tie it in a bow.
514
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,307
Please?
515
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,017
Well, one thing
we therapists can give
516
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,311
is concise, simple solutions,
517
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,729
and yours is...
518
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,732
Hannah, what does that one mean?
519
00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:36,735
It means don't get drunk in Brooklyn.
520
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:42,324
{\an8}♪ I see babies cry ♪
521
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:45,035
{\an8}♪ I watch them grow ♪
522
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:47,829
{\an8}♪ They'll learn much more ♪
523
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,998
{\an8}♪ Than I'll ever know ♪
524
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:53,919
{\an8}♪ And I think to myself ♪
525
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:58,590
{\an8}♪ What a wonderful world ♪
526
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:05,222
{\an8}♪ Yes, I think to myself ♪
527
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,850
{\an8}♪ What a wonderful world ♪
528
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,395
{\an8}♪ A wonderful, wonderful ♪
529
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:14,439
{\an8}♪ A wonderful, wonderful world ♪
530
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:17,943
{\an8}♪ A wonderful, wonderful ♪
531
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:20,279
{\an8}♪ Wonderful world! ♪
532
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,032
Shh!
533
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:29,955
Subtitled by B. Everdene