1 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:04,963 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:06,214 (Willie grunts) 3 00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:10,510 D'oh! 4 00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:12,178 (grunts) 5 00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:14,514 (all scream) 6 00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:16,016 Oh, my God, Morty, what did you do? 7 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,767 -You killed the Simpsons, Morty! -Oh, my God, no! 8 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,687 -No, I-I-I-I didn't mean to! -Oh, no, no! 9 00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:23,189 God, look at the baby one! Oh, my God, Morty! 10 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,774 You killed the entire Simpsons, Morty! 11 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,068 They're a beloved (belches) family, Morty! 12 00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,987 They're-they're-they're-they're a national treasure. 13 00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:30,655 -And you killed them. -I-I-I-I'm just a kid! 14 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:31,865 I'm just a kid! I don't want to go to jail! 15 00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:34,701 Relax, Morty, calm down. We'll take care of it. 16 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:36,786 Okay, I want you to take that vial of Simpsons' goo 17 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,455 and this picture to this address. 18 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,582 They'll make us new Simpsons-- you understand me, Morty? 19 00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:42,584 -Me?! W-W-What are you gonna do? -Morty, 20 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:43,918 I got to clean this place up 21 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,295 before somebody comes snooping around. 22 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,505 You know how many characters there are in The Simpsons, Morty? 23 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,008 There's, like, a billion chara... (belches) ...aracters. 24 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,010 They did an episode where George Bush was their neighbor. 25 00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:54,012 Right, can't argue with that. 26 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,147 (spits) 27 00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:12,072 (speaking in native tongue) 28 00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,513 (roaring) 29 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,224 Hi-diddly-ho, neighbor! 30 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:41,017 Looks like you got a spaceship in your... 31 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,560 Who are you? 32 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,271 ♪ ♪ 33 00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:52,779 Rick, I'm back! Wake up! Wake up! 34 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,239 Geez, it's about time, Morty. 35 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:56,324 Give me those. 36 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:03,832 (grunting, moaning) 37 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,250 (belching) 38 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:06,334 Huh, wow. 39 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:07,961 Hey, Morty, a little tip. (belches) 40 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:10,505 Don't clean DNA vials with your spit! 41 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,882 Let's go. I'm driving this time. 42 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:18,179 {\an8}Aw, no more guest animators, man! 43 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:29,232 {\an8}Okay, children. I think it's safe now 44 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,734 {\an8}to put on your math T-shirts. 45 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,821 {\an8}Wait here. 46 00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:36,156 {\an8}(grunts) Nerd! 47 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,658 {\an8}Model U.N., and step on it! 48 00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,034 {\an8}Ha-ha! 49 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:44,372 {\an8}(laughing) 50 00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:46,875 {\an8}Very good. 51 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,502 {\an8}That is really... Oh! 52 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,296 {\an8}Dog in box. 53 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:52,714 {\an8}Genius. 54 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,465 {\an8}(laughing) 55 00:02:57,343 --> 00:03:00,013 {\an8}All right, let's meet our two teams of Mathletes, shall we? 56 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:03,516 {\an8}First, the Springfield Elementary Action Fractions! 57 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,018 {\an8}They rhyme and they... 58 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,311 {\an8}(groans) 59 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:08,313 {\an8}And, uh, from the right side of the tracks, 60 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,899 {\an8}the Waverly Hills Elementary 61 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,984 {\an8}No Equals. They're spoiled and rich. 62 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:16,654 {\an8}Yo! What did the right angle say to the wider angle? 63 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,324 {\an8}Well, not knowing these fellows, I-I couldn't say. 64 00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:20,283 {\an8}You're obtuse! 65 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:21,910 {\an8}(all laughing) 66 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,661 {\an8}(groans) 67 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,372 {\an8}Now, let's welcome our celebrity guests, 68 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,708 {\an8}former winners of this very contest 69 00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:31,252 {\an8}and current high-flying-- yes, you heard me-- 70 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:34,589 {\an8}I said high-flying, high flying-- tech entrepreneurs! 71 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:36,424 {\an8}Gary, Doug and Benjamin, 72 00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:38,593 {\an8}who invented Whereditgo. 73 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:41,346 {\an8}That's an app that finds the other apps on your phone. 74 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:44,849 {\an8}Enables you to glayvin with your friends' mobile hoyvin. 75 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,018 {\an8}One year ago, we were dateless nerds 76 00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:49,187 {\an8}living in our mothers' basements. 77 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:52,690 {\an8}Now the basement we live in is in a giant mansion. 78 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:53,983 {\an8}-Yeah! -Yeah! 79 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,402 {\an8}And we own some kind of sports team. 80 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,862 {\an8}(laughs) 81 00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,322 {\an8}All right, calm down, just calm down. 82 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:02,033 {\an8}Now, here to support these fine student scholars 83 00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:04,202 {\an8}is the man who loves math... 84 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,412 {\an8}Math?! I thought you said "meth"! 85 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,997 {\an8}Drug reference! 86 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,751 {\an8}Uh, seriously, what am I here for? 87 00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,337 {\an8}-Nobody told you? -They send a limo, I get in. 88 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,672 {\an8}It takes me somewhere. 89 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,924 {\an8}Then I watch the news later to see what I did. 90 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:20,385 {\an8}(crowd cheers and applauds) 91 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:21,469 {\an8}What a nightmare. 92 00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,137 {\an8}That's fair enough. Boo-hayvin! 93 00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,514 {\an8}The teams have created 94 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,141 {\an8}introductory videos about themselves. 95 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,477 Let's watch them, shall we, with our eyes? 96 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,607 NARRATOR: Springfield Elementary was originally designed 97 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,568 as a storage facility for salt pork. 98 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,654 At some later point, it was turned into a school. 99 00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:40,989 {\an8}CHALMERS: Chalmskinn. 100 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,658 {\an8}On hot days, pork grease still comes out of the walls. 101 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,368 {\an8}Oh, quit your whining. 102 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,537 {\an8}FRINK: And now, Waverly Hills. 103 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,498 {\an8}Hi, I'm movie genius Michael Bay. 104 00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:52,000 I used to be all like, "Math? 105 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,501 Who needs that noise, am I right?" 106 00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,295 But I wasn't right. 107 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,589 The Waverly Hills math team made me realize 108 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,675 that quadratic equations are hotter 109 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,593 than a million Megan Foxes. 110 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,387 Math on! 111 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,852 Yo, Waverly Hills! 112 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,353 You guys rock! 113 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:13,646 Like my friend The Rock! 114 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,148 I know his real first name! 115 00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,274 It's Dwayne! 116 00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:18,651 I win Hollywood! 117 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,158 Celebrate now, you stuck-up snobs. 118 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,868 (cheering) 119 00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:30,121 But our plucky little school is going to surprise you. 120 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,415 We will surprise you all! 121 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,250 -(cheering) -Well, Lisa, 122 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,044 we didn't score a single point. 123 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,462 That was surprising. 124 00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,173 (crying) 125 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:43,468 Oh, you'll get them next time, honey. 126 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:46,262 No! No, we won't! 127 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,264 That school is so rich! 128 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:51,726 Every kid has a laptop! 129 00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:55,021 Her crying is sadder than a child actor 130 00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:57,815 "Where are they now?" story. 131 00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,068 LISA: It's true. 132 00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:02,320 As graduates of Springfield Elementary, 133 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,155 we want to give back. 134 00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:06,699 We're going to buy every student a tablet computer 135 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,368 and upgrade your entire school 136 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,828 with the latest cloud-based technology. 137 00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,122 {\an8}Here's a check. Take this check. 138 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,540 NARRATOR: The first black president... 139 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:17,960 is decades away from being a reality. 140 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,214 Come back with my fall semester! 141 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:24,801 We don't need filmstrips like Life in These 48 States anymore, 142 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,220 because our school is going all digital! 143 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,430 -(grunts) -WILLIE: Ow, damn it! 144 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,099 The teachers union won't stand for this. 145 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,600 It means less work for you. 146 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:35,144 I didn't know it was possible to do less work. 147 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,771 How intriguing. 148 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:42,151 ♪ He said I've been to the year 3000 ♪ 149 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,153 -♪ Not much has changed ♪ -♪ Not much has changed ♪ 150 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,115 -♪ But they lived underwater ♪ -♪ Underwater ♪ 151 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:50,910 ♪ And your great-great-great granddaughter ♪ 152 00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:53,287 ♪ Is pretty fine ♪ 153 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:56,499 ♪ Is pretty fine ♪ 154 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:58,709 ♪ I took a trip to the year 3000 ♪ 155 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,421 ♪ This song had gone multiplatinum ♪ 156 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,464 ♪ Everybody bought our seventh album... ♪ 157 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,550 And if we're ever invaded, just click this. 158 00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,136 ♪ I took a trip to the year 3000 ♪ 159 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,221 ♪ This song had gone multiplatinum ♪ 160 00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:13,057 ♪ Everybody bought our seventh album ♪ 161 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,559 Oh, it's wonderful. 162 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:17,145 We can finally afford attractive teachers. 163 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,479 (groans) 164 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,691 I was the only one here who understood osmosis. 165 00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,568 Spare me, uggo. 166 00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,153 (groans) 167 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,113 Willie, since all our books have been digitized, 168 00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:29,449 we have no need for the paper versions-- burn these. 169 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,659 Wouldn't it be easier just to toss them out? 170 00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,786 Nonsense! We now have this state-of-the-art 171 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:36,289 -digital book burner. -Hmm. 172 00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,501 (laughs) Listen to her hum. 173 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,211 {\an8}What's that?! 174 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,504 {\an8}Well, we didn't want to leave you 175 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:44,797 {\an8}out of the digital revolution. 176 00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,215 {\an8}Willie, meet your new supervisor. 177 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,510 {\an8}Aw, I have to take orders from a machine? 178 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:50,720 {\an8}Oh, it can't speak. 179 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,388 {\an8}But should it ever learn, yes. 180 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,725 ("Star Spangled Banner" playing) 181 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,354 (groans) Will there ever be a technology 182 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,023 that teaches stupid children 183 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,941 how to ding a dang triangle?! 184 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:08,446 This school has spent the last 50 years mired in the 1960s. 185 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:11,699 Let us spend the next 50 mired in now! 186 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,872 (singsongy) Bo-ron! 187 00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:20,333 {\an8}And with this ring, 188 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,002 {\an8}we unite these ancient warring clans, 189 00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:25,671 {\an8}who frolic unclothed, even in winter, 190 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,591 {\an8}and bring peace to Decapita! 191 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,595 (screams) 192 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,181 Pay cable is awesome! 193 00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:37,558 Who knew they had nipples in castle times? 194 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,977 You're not supposed to be able to get outside our network! 195 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,021 You shouldn't have made your password "password." 196 00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:43,856 Well, it was the name of the street I grew up on. 197 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,024 Password Drive! 198 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:48,611 (crackling and buzzing) 199 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,990 Seymour, you plugged the servers in 200 00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,534 with surge protectors, didn't you? 201 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:55,952 Oh, yes, power strips. 202 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,203 You fool. 203 00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,705 Surge protectors are always power strips. 204 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,123 But not vice versa! 205 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:05,294 (screaming) 206 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,632 Was that us? 207 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:10,883 No, sir. 208 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,386 (chuckles) I like it when it's not us. 209 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:23,813 (clock ticking) 210 00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:32,321 Let's see. 211 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,698 Roman numerals. 212 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,032 Photosynthesis. 213 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,243 Uh, Robert E. Lee. 214 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,912 Miss Hoover, are you teaching or are you just saying 215 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,998 anything that comes into your head? 216 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,417 Miss Hoover, please report to the main office. 217 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,586 You just did that in your hand! 218 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,504 Ralph Wiggum, put your head down. 219 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,756 You're the mouth-hand! 220 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,925 All right, class. We don't have computers, 221 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,677 and we don't have keyboards. 222 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,346 But that doesn't mean we can't practice our typing. 223 00:09:58,347 --> 00:09:59,557 Now, put your index fingers 224 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,935 on marshmallows F and J, and... 225 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,186 tap-tap-tap. 226 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,521 Tap-tap-tap. 227 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,607 Tap-tap... Nelson, stop that! 228 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,317 This is my dinner. 229 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,611 I'm eating steak. 230 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,487 Mmm! Mmm! 231 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,697 Needs sauce. 232 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:21,370 Great news, children. I found an educational movie 233 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,372 I can play on my phone. 234 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,708 Crowd in-- it's kind of a little phone. 235 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,710 {\an8}NARRATOR: Mathematics! Agriculture! 236 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,670 {\an8}Are there two more exciting words? 237 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,964 {\an8}Since the time of the Romans, they used scythes 238 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,674 {\an8}to kill each other. 239 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,719 {\an8}The ancient farmer needed tools to measure his land. 240 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,554 Ten stick knots right. 241 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,473 Five left. 242 00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:41,724 Hmm. 243 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,685 (humming a tune) 244 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,813 Oh, come to mock ol' Willie, have you? 245 00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:51,776 "Ooh, Willie has to work in the hot sun all day. 246 00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:55,488 Willie's best friend is a stick and a string." 247 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,073 I'm not here to mock you. 248 00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:01,661 "Ooh, Willie doesn't know when someone's being sincere!" 249 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:02,870 I'm just here to hang out. 250 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,747 What's that device you're using? 251 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,832 My rummlie scob. Nothing exciting. 252 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:10,419 Just a measuring stick dating back to the ancient druids. 253 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,255 Oh! Could you tell me how it works? 254 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,300 Each knot marks the length of a sheep's bladder. 255 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:20,846 A play field is 75 stomachs by 52 kidneys. 256 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:24,058 That's 163 square haggises. 257 00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,476 Move over, metric system! 258 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,187 I'm learning the gastric system! 259 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,355 Clever. 260 00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:30,815 Uh, good news, sir, I have assembled 261 00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:34,193 a page on "the piglims" at "Rhymouth Pock." 262 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,945 Yes, well, that's the best we can hope for. 263 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,864 Uh, apply the transparent tape. 264 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,784 Principal Skin-ner! 265 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,870 Willie has showed me that losing our technology 266 00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,164 doesn't have to be the end of our learning. 267 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,084 We can turn our school into a Waldorf school. 268 00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:51,460 You mean like the hotel? 269 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,295 Nope! In elementary school, 270 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,047 Waldorf education focuses 271 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,717 on hands-on activity and creative play. 272 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,552 In secondary education... 273 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,137 Ah, not our problem. 274 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,514 After sixth grade, it's good-bye and good luck. 275 00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:05,391 -(both chuckling) -Yes, yes, it is. 276 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,393 Well, it sounds good, but I have one more question. 277 00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:09,979 Is it based on the book where you find the guy in the hat? 278 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,314 Where's Waldo? That's not even the name. 279 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,192 I'm surprised you guys didn't think it was based on the salad. 280 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,153 BOTH: There's a Waldorf salad? 281 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,654 (groans) 282 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,282 Behold-- Waldorf education in action! 283 00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,577 We're getting our hands dirty and learning by doing. 284 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:27,913 So I have to make 360 sloppy joes, 285 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,624 but I only have one pound of hamburger meat. 286 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:34,253 How many cubic feet of Styrofoam peanuts should I add? 287 00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:36,464 Assuming four peanuts per joe, 288 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,340 37 cubic feet. 289 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,760 Well, you're a smart little fatso. 290 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:44,096 {\an8}It says here that students don't have to raise their hands. 291 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,181 They should just ask every question 292 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,682 that comes to their mind. 293 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,934 Oh. Why are pine needles pointy? 294 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,478 And, um-um-um, what's the difference 295 00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:52,438 between an asteroid and a meteor? 296 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:54,023 And, mm... ooh-ooh! 297 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,358 Can you shrug anything other than your shoulders? 298 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,693 (sighs) 299 00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,820 Does anyone else have any questions? 300 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,782 Um, if Mommy's purse didn't belong in the microwave, 301 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,450 why did it fit? 302 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:07,870 We won't need computers, we won't need books. 303 00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,914 I learned not to drink out of the crick. 304 00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:12,792 You mean this isn't crick water? 305 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,043 My daddy raised me 306 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:17,713 and all my 11 dead siblings on crick water! 307 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,757 Huh, everyone wears a hat. 308 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,384 Sun hats in the summer, wool hats in the winter. 309 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:23,677 {\an8}Ooh, look at this. 310 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,472 {\an8}Weekly Friday night parents' meetings. 311 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:27,723 Oh... Wait. 312 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,225 There might be a safety hatch. 313 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:30,726 Does the apostrophe come before 314 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,312 or after the "S" on "parents"? 315 00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:36,232 After, which means both parents. 316 00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:40,569 (groaning) 317 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,279 Well, I'm not wearing a hat. 318 00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,073 People might think I'm bald. 319 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,201 (Homer grunting) 320 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,995 Before we share announcements 321 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,206 and see the results of grade three's 322 00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:54,875 dance study of willows and drooping trees, 323 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,628 we greet the day with a school song. 324 00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:59,296 Now I have to sing a song?! 325 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,756 Why did those idiots mix up 326 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,800 power strips and surge protectors? 327 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:06,720 ♪ Every single living creature ♪ 328 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,890 ♪ Every cat and every flea ♪ 329 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:14,562 ♪ All things with a facial feature ♪ 330 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:17,690 ♪ Have the right to smile at me ♪ 331 00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:21,694 ♪ Every family is a unit ♪ 332 00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:26,115 ♪ Sometimes yelling, sometimes mad ♪ 333 00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:30,411 ♪ Divorced or gay or even foster ♪ 334 00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:34,331 ♪ Even Billy with three dads ♪ 335 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,168 HOMER: I feel like Beethoven 336 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:41,922 when Charles Grodin finally accepted him as his dog. 337 00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,721 This school is so great now. 338 00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:50,180 Kids learn by doing. 339 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,765 If it's so great, why aren't you helping 340 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,058 your kids do their homework? 341 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,060 Bart's here doing it right now. 342 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,187 No, no, no! Not two-thirds, one-half! 343 00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,981 Now that's one-third each. 344 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:02,234 Now you're learning! (laughs) 345 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,069 Enjoy. 346 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,573 {\an8}One earthworm... Gah! 347 00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:08,991 {\an8}Two halves. 348 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,993 ALL: Wow! 349 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,411 {\an8}Willie! Willie! 350 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:15,039 {\an8}They want you to coach our school math team! 351 00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,917 {\an8}I'll have to check with my supervisor. 352 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,710 {\an8}(dings twice) 353 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:20,920 {\an8}Good to go! 354 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:24,214 So, if Willie gets paid three cents per square foot 355 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,592 for seeding, and if the field 356 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:29,678 is 2,500 square feet, 357 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,096 what is Willie getting? 358 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,307 I'd say "screwed." 359 00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:34,892 (groans) You're right! 360 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,019 You! Chalmers! 361 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,687 Aah! 362 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,272 -Uh-oh. -(tires screech) 363 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,275 Come back here, you Willie-chiseling cheat! 364 00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:46,487 (grunting) 365 00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,821 (tires screeching) 366 00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,491 (horn honking) 367 00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:52,785 Hey, who threw that egg 368 00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,746 at the most efficient 45-degree angle? 369 00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:57,915 It was me, sir. 370 00:15:57,998 --> 00:16:00,709 Kids, meet your new math team captain. 371 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,086 It's about time. 372 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,837 But I'm the captain. 373 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,005 Not anymore. 374 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,382 I can't see. 375 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,258 I can't see. 376 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:16,058 Welcome to the long-anticipated rematch 377 00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:19,436 between Waverly Hills and Springfield. 378 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,188 (crowd cheering) 379 00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:23,023 (grunting) 380 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:26,819 Um, can you tell me which college I should go to? 381 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:29,488 (stammers) It's not a sorting hat! 382 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:32,616 Please! Early applications are due next week! 383 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,993 All right. 384 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,620 Uh, Miami of Ohio. 385 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,039 (groans) Okay. 386 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,709 Our first question is a toss-up. 387 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,877 "What is the least common multiple 388 00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:46,714 of six, eight and 16?" 389 00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,966 -48! -Is correct! 390 00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,217 (all gasp) 391 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,594 Whoa! No one said there'd be math! 392 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:53,971 We said there'd be nothing but math! 393 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:57,016 And you're the math team captain! 394 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,143 I thought I wouldn't have to do anything. 395 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,478 You know, like an Italian cruise ship captain. 396 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,397 You're lucky that captain's not here 397 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,190 right now to answer your insult! 398 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,985 He'd crash a ship right into your house! 399 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,486 Aah! 400 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:12,489 ("Pi" by Kate Bush playing) 401 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,792 ♪ Oh, he love, he love, he love ♪ 402 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,711 ♪ He does love his numbers ♪ 403 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,132 ♪ And they run, they run ♪ 404 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:33,052 ♪ They run him in a great big circle ♪ 405 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:39,308 ♪ In a circle of infinity ♪ 406 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:44,438 ESPN isn't covering this. 407 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,774 D'oh! 408 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:50,027 ♪ Three point one, four ♪ 409 00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:54,406 ♪ One, five, nine ♪ 410 00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:01,455 ♪ Two, six, five, three, five ♪ 411 00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:04,666 ♪ Eight, nine, seven, nine ♪ 412 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,878 ♪ Three, two ♪ 413 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:12,091 And so, with the score knotted at 29-all, 414 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:15,219 it comes down to one last question. 415 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,223 Drawing three straight lines, 416 00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:22,017 construct nine non-overlapping-- 417 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,019 that's non-overlapping, not overlapping, 418 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,439 but non-overlapping-- triangles. 419 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,033 HOMER: Huh? Ooh. 420 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,868 (chuckles) 421 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,203 I have the answer! 422 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,704 (all gasp) 423 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,456 As someone whose dad's hair 424 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,875 is made of Ms, it's child's play. 425 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,461 HOMER: Oh, not this again. 426 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:52,631 Whoo-hoo! I'm a solution! 427 00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:55,551 The Action Fractions win! 428 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,719 You guys might be richer and better looking, 429 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:01,473 but we won a contest to even the series! 430 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,894 Mm, that'll look great in our trophy case. 431 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,229 Willie, build a trophy case. 432 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,856 Aye, sir. 433 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:12,401 But you know what we should really thank for our success? 434 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,195 Lower standards! 435 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:17,239 ALL: Lower standards! 436 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:18,323 Aye. 437 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:26,832 You're wonderful, Willie. 438 00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:29,626 You and the ancient Scottish scientist 439 00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:32,462 that invented the rummlie scob. 440 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:36,175 Well, the truth is, it wasn't invented for science. 441 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:37,342 Really? 442 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,011 Then what for? 443 00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:42,014 Oh, it was used for hanging sheep stealers! 444 00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,349 The wee knots kept them alive longer 445 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,518 to make the punishment more cruel. 446 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,229 (shudders) Maybe I don't want to know these things. 447 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,690 Can you say something nice about Scotland? 448 00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:54,443 Well, sometimes the fog comes in 449 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:57,029 and covers everything terrible. 450 00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,530 Very atmospheric. 451 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,699 Oh. 452 00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:09,541 ♪ ♪ 453 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,050 (gulping) 454 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,897 Shh! 455 00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:19,945 Subtitled by Jimmy Boots