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{\an8}CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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(grunting)
3
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HOMER: D'oh!
4
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{\an8}Seymour, I'm here to tell ya
I'm returning to Scotland
5
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{\an8}and you'll never see me again.
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{\an8}But I have hand-picked my replacement.
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{\an8}Mr. Johnny Mathis.
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{\an8}♪ Chances are ♪
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{\an8}♪ I will give this hedge a trim ♪
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{\an8}♪ And I will kill the gophers, too ♪
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{\an8}Mmm. So beautiful.
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{\an8}(Mrs. Skinner imitating alarm)
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{\an8}You're late for school.
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{\an8}(English accent) And Friday's lunch
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{\an8}will be fish sticks, peas...
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{\an8}I'll finish those morning announcements.
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{\an8}-(Willie grunts)
-(clears throat)
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{\an8}-And lime Jell-O.
-Pathetic.
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{\an8}Also, Friday night is the school dance.
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{\an8}And that's a treat for the, uh,
popular children,
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{\an8}and a chance for the rest of you
to look within yourselves
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{\an8}and ask what's wrong.
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{\an8}Seymour, let me know
if you make a BM today.
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{\an8}Oh, my special little guy's
first school dance.
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{\an8}(groans) Why do I have to go
to some stupid dance?
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{\an8}It makes just standing around
with your friends
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{\an8}feel like you're a loser.
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{\an8}Bart, some of your biggest heroes
are dancers.
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{\an8}Krusty was on Dancing with the Stars
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{\an8}until a panel of experts
determined he wasn't a star.
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{\an8}(groans) Dad, help me.
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{\an8}(chuckles)
Son, for the rest of your life,
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{\an8}you're going to go
to all sorts of horrible events
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{\an8}just to spend time with girls.
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{\an8}Dances, stores, your wedding.
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{\an8}You don't like those things?
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{\an8}Oh, no. No, no, honey.
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{\an8}I love everything you force me do.
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{\an8}And sometimes if you do all that,
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{\an8}you get a very special night.
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{\an8}-(groans) And what does that get you?
-Hopefully, not a you.
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{\an8}♪ Not gonna make another Bart tonight ♪
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{\an8}♪ If I do it right,
no more Barts tonight ♪
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{\an8}♪ No more Barts tonight... ♪
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{\an8}♪ No Barts! ♪ Hmm?
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{\an8}-(Flanders humming)
-Hmm.
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{\an8}And... done. Proud of you boys.
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{\an8}Thanks for painting my fence,
Stupid Flanders.
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Homer Simpson, reorder that border.
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We've been painting since sunup.
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Half the fence is mine.
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Fine. Let the good Lord decide.
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D'oh! Whoo-hoo! D'oh! Whoo-hoo!
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D'oh! Whoo-hoo!
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Now I say good day.
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(chuckles) Good day, Homer.
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I said good day.
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(Homer groans)
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Well, if it isn't the Frown Princes
of Gloomania.
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What's wrong, boys?
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Uncle Homer's not nice to you.
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Your name's not Stupid. It's Ned.
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Whoa, there, Roddy.
Someone's getting a little too familiar.
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Sorry, Mr. Daddy.
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(chuckles)
Time to hop aboard the...
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School... Train.
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School Train?
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(funky tune playing)
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(Otto laughing)
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I'm going to die, children.
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And so will you someday.
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(screaming)
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(sighs)
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♪ ♪
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-(yells)
-Thanks a lot, Bart.
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That orange drink machine
was my mom's fiancé's
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only source of income.
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-(grunts)
-(groans)
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What a relief.
This dance has turned into a fight.
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Would you dance with me?
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-(gasps) Where'd you come from?
-Fifth grade.
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BART: Be careful, Bart.
If you take her hand now...
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DEMONIC VOICE:
Your puberty has started!
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Who the hell are you?
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I am the puberty demon.
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(cackles)
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(high-pitched squeak, clears throat)
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For a thousand lifetimes of man,
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I have been going through changes
I don't understand.
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You can join me
if you just take her hand.
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I'd certainly like to help a demon,
but I...
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Do it. Enter the world
of body spray, wiry hairs,
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and wondering what boobs feel like.
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Do you know?
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Sure, sure. Of course I do.
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-♪ She's up all night to the sun ♪
-Eh, why not?
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♪ I'm up all night to get some ♪
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♪ She's up all night for good fun ♪
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♪ I'm up all night to get lucky ♪
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♪ We're up all night to the sun ♪
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♪ We're up all night to get some ♪
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♪ We're up all night for good fun ♪
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♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪
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-♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪
-(Willie grunts)
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♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪
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♪ We're up all night
to get lucky ♪
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♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪
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♪ We're up all night
to get lucky ♪
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♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪
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♪ We're up all night
to get lucky ♪
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♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪
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-(cheering, whooping)
-Huh? (grunting)
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I'll have him good as new.
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I just have to get me hammers.
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SKINNER: And tonight's best dancer--
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Bart Simpson.
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This is for you.
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I'll meet you outside.
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(students oohing)
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{\an8}Hey, look.
It's someone who does stuff.
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{\an8}The bullies' natural enemy.
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{\an8}-Nice dancing, Bart.
-Hey, knock it off!
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{\an8}You're a real leotard.
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{\an8}(bullies laughing)
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{\an8}That works on two levels.
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{\an8}Yeah. Just like the old
Springfield Galleria.
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(grunts)
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Do what you want to me.
Just don't touch the trophy.
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(laughs) Yeah, right.
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(groans)
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Hi. This is for you.
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Let me give you a life lesson.
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This isn't your fault.
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But it's the end of us forever.
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(cackles)
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(squeaks, coughs)
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Oh, uh, hey... hey, Cassidy.
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Ugh.
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Sweetie, what happened?
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Bullies broke my trophy.
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Oh, don't worry.
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When you grow up,
you're gonna have a hell of a career.
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Oh, wait, you're not the girl.
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You're gonna have a hell of a career.
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Thank you. (giggles)
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Bullying is wrong,
and I'm going to work to change it.
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If I can get them to open up
another register at Kroger's,
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I can do something about this.
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Wha... Marge,
we don't have Kroger's money.
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-(gavel slams)
-Completing our long-overdue
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00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,400
apologies to the witches
and their families.
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Our final new business is
a proposal from Marge Simpson.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm about to show you
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the world's filthiest word.
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-(chattering)
-Oh, boy, I can't wait to see this word.
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(all groan)
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You know, I thought
you were gonna say...
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(long bleep)
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Now, Midge, uh,
thanks for coming and alls,
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but, uh, since frontier days,
we've needed bullies
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to steal land from Indians
and, uh, uh, punch locusts.
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But not anymore.
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Let's push bullying to the ground
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and make it cry
and point and laugh at it.
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-Yeah, yeah!
-Absolutely!
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Let's pass this legislation
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without any discussion whatsoever.
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So moved. All in favor?
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316, 317,
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318, 319 to one.
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Who didn't vote for it?
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I didn't.
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You better freaking vote for it,
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or we'll bust your face,
you little troll.
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(moans weakly)
176
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The anti-bullying law
has passed without objection.
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Ow.
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Hey, Simpson.
Come over and get your Christmas socking.
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(siren whoops)
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By the unregulated power vested in us
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by the hastily passed bully law,
you're under arrest.
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Take 'em away, boys.
183
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Yeah, grab that hat.
184
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:11,824
Boys, I predict you're gonna
have clear sledding from here on out.
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00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,409
Uh, except on those sleds.
186
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,952
Uh, I'm gonna need 'em as evidence.
187
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,662
Uh, is that a candy cane, Milhouse?
188
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,539
'Cause, uh, yeah.
That-that's also evidence.
189
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:22,293
Mmm, mmm.
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Uh, yes, Kent, the law gives us
broad authority here.
191
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:29,050
We're not just going after
your garden-variety nurple purpler.
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No, no.
We're also arresting adult bullies.
193
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The long-trouser crowd.
194
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And let me tell you,
arresting people
195
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who don't think they're criminals--
it's, uh...
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it's a hell of a lot easier.
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Yeah. Mmm.
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00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:47,276
All you worthless writers ever do
is stare into your phones.
199
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,904
Why don't you text me
some freaking jokes?
200
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,743
A TV star criticizing his writers.
201
00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,495
What has this world come to?
202
00:08:57,578 --> 00:09:00,081
Another bully for your collection, boys.
203
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:03,167
(grunts)
I need some prison jokes. Quick.
204
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,503
How about "Orange is the New Blecch"?
205
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,713
Beautiful.
206
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,049
Uh, yeah. A car just cut me off.
207
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:13,302
License JDB 653.
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00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,346
He's a bully.
209
00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:17,014
(slurping)
210
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,266
(ice rattles)
211
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:21,894
Oh, and the guy that filled my soda
gave me mostly ice. Bully.
212
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,938
Mostly ice. Dear God.
213
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:26,816
I'll never grow
a tough enough skin for this job.
214
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,359
Excuse me, this is madness.
215
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,486
The ice costs me more than the soda.
216
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,821
Do you realize this?
217
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,573
Ay, ay, ay.
218
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,408
What hath Mom wrought?
219
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:38,744
The police are arresting
basically anyone they want to.
220
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:41,831
Lisa, you got to learn
to trust your government.
221
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,333
(whispers) That's what I do.
222
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:47,461
-(electrical buzzing)
-(screams, groans)
223
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,714
Daddy, can we make cocoa?
224
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,716
Boys, I'm afraid Mr. Simpson...
225
00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:53,759
borrowed our mix and our mugs.
226
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,595
Why don't you ask for things back?
227
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,680
Are you being bullied?
228
00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,433
Now, boys, I'm just turning
the other cheek, like Jesus.
229
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:02,393
Do you think he was bullied?
230
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,021
(bullies laughing)
231
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:08,274
Come on, guys. Give it back.
232
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:10,776
Oh... forgive them, Father.
233
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,613
I raised a wuss.
234
00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:18,200
Dear Lord--
Please demonstrate unto us
235
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,369
Uncle Homer's not a jerk.
236
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,830
(Homer grunting)
237
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,335
See you in hell, old bed.
238
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,338
-(snoring)
-(whistling a tune)
239
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,674
Oh, come on, Chief.
Why am I in here?
240
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:34,967
You're a workplace bully.
241
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:38,179
Chief, I put my name on my lunch
because you are always eating it.
242
00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:40,389
Bully! Bully! Bully!
243
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,643
-(phone rings)
-Springfield PD. Chief speaking.
244
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,562
Hello? We'd like to report a bully.
245
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,190
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh!
246
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:52,068
Wow. This bully's going down!
247
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,778
Yeah.
248
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:56,447
-(siren wailing)
-(banging at door)
249
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,699
Ooh, I wonder who this could be!
250
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,994
-(screams)
-Homer Simpson, I'm here to charge you
251
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:05,623
with multiple counts of bullying
your neighbor, Ned Flanders.
252
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:08,668
What the... Oh, I never dreamed
that a law I had abused
253
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,294
could be applied to me!
254
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:13,047
-All right, time for the perp walk.
-Walk?
255
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,549
But I just watered up the Slip 'N Slide.
256
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:16,926
-(reporters clamoring)
-(groaning)
257
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:19,470
I have no comment at this time!
258
00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,305
I sentence you to 90 days treatment
259
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:24,475
in our new Biff Stiffler
Bully Reeducation Center.
260
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,936
-Is it a school?
-More like a prison.
261
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,938
Phew! Thank God.
262
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,523
MAN: Welcome, friends.
263
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,858
Welcome. Welcome. No need for names.
264
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:36,112
Well, there are need for names,
or there'd be billions of people
265
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:39,365
walking around without knowing
each other, but I meant here.
266
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:43,119
I know what you're going through
because I'm a recovering bully myself.
267
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,705
I was bullied for years and years.
268
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,290
I tried to solve it in a way
that I don't suggest.
269
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:51,335
I shot a man.
But that didn't fix it.
270
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,796
It fixed it for him. He died.
271
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,674
But I then went to a lot of training.
272
00:11:56,757 --> 00:12:00,136
I went into the Army,
and I was punished,
273
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,555
and they told me I got over it.
274
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:05,558
I don't feel it,
but I'm told I got over it,
275
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:07,059
and I have something on the wall
276
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,853
-that says I do.
-Ow!
277
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:12,606
Time for step one on the path to empathy,
you maggots.
278
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,067
Can I do yard work like the kids?
279
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:18,404
-Your work is internal.
-You mean like vacuuming?
280
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,698
Did you really think I meant vacuuming?
281
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,659
When I said "internal,"
your brain went to something
282
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,245
inside your house like vacuuming?
283
00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:27,913
Is that what you thought?
284
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:31,375
Do you know that's why
that Dyson is a billionaire?
285
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:34,170
Something is wrong with you
when you think vacuuming.
286
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,505
I'm talking about inside your head.
287
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,007
In your head!
288
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,259
Oh, it's so boring in there.
289
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:41,552
Oh, is it?
290
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:44,138
And I thought it might be
like the Louvre.
291
00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:46,223
Now, no more talking!
I know how this works.
292
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,601
You find the toughest one,
you crack that person,
293
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:50,436
and the rest of you fall in line.
294
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,605
You'll never crack me.
295
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:54,982
(chuckles)
Ah, you're probably right.
296
00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:57,401
Just like you never heard
your mother say,
297
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,736
"I love you."
298
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,279
(sobbing)
299
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:04,742
There's not enough tissue in the world
for what I'm feeling!
300
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:05,868
(sobbing)
301
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,161
There, there.
302
00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:09,371
The first six tissues are free.
303
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,790
The rest you pay for.
304
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,249
Use the first two again.
305
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,876
They don't seem very wet.
306
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,837
Every bully is woven
from the colorful thread
307
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,881
known as humiliation.
308
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,467
Gary, who humiliated you?
309
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,720
Well... (clears throat)
my father was a psychologist.
310
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:28,557
He was a big believer
in the methods of B.F. Skin-ner!
311
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:32,394
I had to go through a hamster maze
to get to my breakfast.
312
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,188
Which way is love, Daddy?
313
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:36,273
(voice breaking)
Which way is love?
314
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,399
(crying)
315
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:41,987
He made me go through a maze.
316
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,824
Ah. Breakthrough.
317
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,283
Just sit down, Gary.
318
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,327
Have the free potato chips.
319
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,037
You, we'll just heavily medicate.
320
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,622
I'm sorry, there's no other hope.
321
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:54,583
{\an8}-Give me your money.
-Oh, beautiful.
322
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,502
{\an8}You're just proving my point.
323
00:13:56,585 --> 00:14:00,256
What about you, Homer?
Why do you hate this... Flanders?
324
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,592
Well, he thinks he's so perfect,
with his organized garage
325
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,345
and his barbecue grill
that never has crud on it.
326
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,097
That's very good. Keep exploring.
327
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,349
I'm already hating him a little bit.
328
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:13,227
Kids who love him and rub his back.
329
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:16,272
And he's got enough extra hair
for a mustache!
330
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,858
All I got are Archie and Wicket here.
331
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,860
I'm so bald.
332
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,362
Deeper. You've got to go deeper.
333
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:25,239
(in a deep voice) I'm so bald.
334
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:28,450
Deeper! And if you think
I mean underground,
335
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,869
I'm going to punch you!
336
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:32,037
Why do you hate Flanders?
337
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,290
Oh, everybody hates Flanders.
338
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,541
No, just you.
339
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:36,667
-That's right.
-(all agreeing)
340
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:37,710
He ain't no chooch.
341
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,837
Homer, you've got
to find the answer to this.
342
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,047
It's been bothering you your whole life.
343
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,216
Also, it's five to 11:00.
344
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,343
I have ten more people before noon!
345
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,470
Oh, can you just tell me the answer?
346
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,055
If I told you the answer,
347
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,808
then you would not have
discovered it for yourself.
348
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,603
Did you see that, uh,
Indiana Jones movie?
349
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:58,981
Did anybody tell him
where that thing was?
350
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:00,900
-Does this guy know?
-Well...
351
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,402
-Only you know!
-All right.
352
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:07,072
I hate Ned Flanders because...
353
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:11,660
(gasps) ...because he's better
than me in every way!
354
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,080
I think we have a breakthrough.
355
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,916
I was gonna say that, too.
356
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,296
♪ ♪
357
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,341
{\an8}I used to be a jerk.
358
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:29,345
{\an8}I never cared whose feelings I hurt
as long as it got a laugh.
359
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,264
{\an8}I took a thumb when a pinky would do.
360
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:35,559
{\an8}But we have learned our lesson,
so I hereby promise...
361
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,102
{\an8}I promise.
362
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,438
{\an8}-I promise.
-Te prometo.
363
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,190
{\an8}We all promise.
364
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,943
{\an8}ALL: To be a better human being.
365
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,361
{\an8}Better human being.
366
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:47,446
{\an8}Ugh! Once again, people.
367
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:50,282
{\an8}ALL: To be a better human being.
368
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:53,077
{\an8}-Better being.
-Does he have to be in this?
369
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,454
Well, surprisingly,
that was our best take.
370
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:58,540
Uh, question--
what will this video be used for?
371
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:01,251
Oh, in schools, by police groups.
372
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:02,628
CNN.
373
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:05,881
They're doing a lot of things now
that have nothing to do with news.
374
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,132
This is great.
375
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,843
Nothing America likes better
than someone who screws up,
376
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,470
goes away for a little while,
377
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:14,348
then comes back and tells everyone
how to live their lives.
378
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:16,684
Oh, I forgot to include remorse.
379
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,018
Eh, it's okay.
380
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,771
When it kicks in,
it'll be a thousand times worse.
381
00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:22,439
What happened to me?
382
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,566
My mother told me she loved me.
383
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:28,696
Maybe I couldn't hear her because
my hand was over her mouth.
384
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,906
Let yourself out, please.
385
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,118
ANNOUNCER:
And here to throw out the first pitch,
386
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:36,120
reformed bully Homer Simpson.
387
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,708
And the pitch hits the umpire,
388
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,543
but it's not an umpire at all.
389
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:45,212
It's a returning serviceman from Iraq.
390
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:48,298
-And the crowd goes wild.
-(applause and cheering)
391
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:49,717
You're a hero.
392
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,427
No, you're-you're the hero. I...
393
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,637
No, no, you're wrong.
You're the hero.
394
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,097
-I... No, I just...
-I'm not.
395
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,183
-I-I just have a little PTSD.
-No, if you see a hero,
396
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,186
you're looking into a mirror, man,
because you're the hero.
397
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,689
Why is Mr. Simpson a hero?
398
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:09,069
Well, I suppose it's because
he used to be bad and now he's good.
399
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,779
BOTH: Yay?
400
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,614
MALE ANNOUNCER:
Jenny, the Costington's float
401
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,908
contains 10,001 flowers,
402
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:18,120
and work started the day after
last year's parade finished.
403
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,830
{\an8}FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
You say that every year,
404
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:22,624
{\an8}-and it's just not true.
-(male announcer chuckles)
405
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,877
{\an8}MALE ANNOUNCER:
Well, there you go again.
406
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,464
{\an8}Daddy, maybe someday
you'll be a hero like Mr. Simpson.
407
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:31,842
He's a hero, all right.
A hero sandwich full of baloney.
408
00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:34,053
Huh. I almost said that
in front of the boys!
409
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,555
Time I gave that Homer
a real tongue bath!
410
00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:39,141
Ooh. Glad I didn't say that, either.
411
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,061
Uh-huh!
412
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,354
Uh, wait.
What do you want me to do with this?
413
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,231
NED:
How about writing, "I'm sorry, Ned"?
414
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,317
(mutters)
What are you doing here?
415
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,320
Homer, sorry is not just the most
exciting board game ever devised.
416
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,655
It's a word I need to hear from you.
417
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,741
(sighs)
Fine. Sorry. We good?
418
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,326
No, we're not good!
419
00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:59,703
You really think one little "sorry"
makes up for years of,
420
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:03,332
"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Flanders"?
421
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:06,418
I'm starting to think
you don't want an autograph.
422
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:07,503
This is what I want.
423
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:10,756
I want you to understand
how you make me feel.
424
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:15,094
Homer Simpson, you made me
less of a man in my sons' eyes.
425
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,181
Now do you feel remorse?
426
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,767
Oh, my God. I'm a monster.
427
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,353
-Mm-hmm.
-Wait! You can't go!
428
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,188
I need your forgiveness!
429
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,234
You can't push a guy around forever, Dad.
430
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,986
You better take a long,
fat look in the mirror.
431
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,363
I know.
432
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,950
(Homer groaning)
433
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,786
Oh, driveway! Oh!
434
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:43,705
I crawled here on my knees,
all the way from my house,
435
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,624
to ask for your forgiveness.
436
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:48,627
Well, sir, I appreciate that,
but I don't bend that easily.
437
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,504
Then I'm gonna wait
right here on my knees
438
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,714
-till you change your mind.
-Okily-dokily.
439
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,050
-On my knees!
-Mm-hmm. I hear you.
440
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,136
-Not too comfortable.
-Nor should it be.
441
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:01,098
♪ ♪
442
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:20,159
I think he's suffered enough, Daddy.
443
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,578
And he seems to be sinking.
444
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,665
We're losing him.
445
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:28,709
"And when you stand praying,
446
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:31,670
if you hold anything against anyone,
forgive him,
447
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:34,464
so that your Father in Heaven
may forgive you your sins."
448
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,800
That's from that ribbon book.
449
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,177
Yes, it is, Homer.
450
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,762
And I forgive you, transgressoreeno.
451
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:45,350
Now, Ned, why don't you join us
for an all-is-forgiven brunch?
452
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,144
Oh, can I make my famous mimosa?
453
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:50,314
A little sparkly water
and a glass full of regular water?
454
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:53,358
Stu... pendous, Flanders.
455
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,360
(Homer chuckles)
456
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,365
(funky tune playing)
457
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:06,705
-Hey, Miss Drizzle!
-Otto! Otto!
458
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,624
How many tabs did you take?
459
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:11,627
(chuckles)
I took a whole sheet of Hello Kitties!
460
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,045
Oh, Otto!
461
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:16,048
That will have a most deleterious effect
on your brain.
462
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,967
The cerebrum,
the cerebellum, the medulla.
463
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,928
But why am I telling you about it
464
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,389
when we can visit
the inside of your head?
465
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:27,643
Bus, do your stuff!
466
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:31,480
(cheering)
467
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,899
Aah! Get it out! Get it out!
468
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,569
{\an8}(screaming)
469
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:44,660
MAN: Mr. Foreman?
Mr. Foreman, please wake up!
470
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:46,662
Aah! Who murdered who again?
471
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,747
(funky tune playing)
472
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,167
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!
473
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,965
Subtitled by A. Vandelay