1
00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:06,214
{\an8}-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
-Oh, for gloyvin' out loud.
2
00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,299
{\an8}(theme music playing)
3
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,511
(exclaims)
4
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,810
(school bell ringing)
5
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(Barney belches)
6
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-(whistle blows)
-(yells)
7
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(beeping)
8
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,913
(playing harp solo)
9
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(playing harp solo)
10
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:45,003
(tires screech)
11
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D'oh!
12
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,425
-(tires screech)
-(grunts)
13
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:57,265
{\an8}Well, this is a no-brainer.
14
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Whoo-hoo!
15
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D'oh!
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D'oh!
17
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{\an8}D'oh!
18
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{\an8}D'oh!
19
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D'oh!
20
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{\an8}D'oh!
21
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{\an8}D'oh!
22
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{\an8}D'oh!
23
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{\an8}D'oh!
24
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D'oh!
25
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(groans)
26
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Now what?
27
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,132
(screams)
28
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{\an8}(sighs)
29
00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:43,478
{\an8}Well, I better get going.
30
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{\an8}Should I just put that on your tab?
31
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{\an8}No, I'll pay off my bill.
32
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{\an8}Hmm?
33
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{\an8}Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Someone's actually paying?
34
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:54,405
{\an8}Now let me see if I remember
how to open this thing.
35
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{\an8}Some kind of button or knob.
36
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{\an8}(bell dings)
37
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{\an8}So that's what that noise means.
38
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{\an8}Just take your stupid money.
Huh?
39
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:05,458
{\an8}Hey, this jacket's full of old stuff.
40
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,544
{\an8}I knew I wasn't getting my money.
41
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{\an8}Hey.
42
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{\an8}D'oh!
43
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{\an8}Losers.
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What the...
45
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{\an8}Oh.
46
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{\an8}Ooh!
47
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{\an8}Here's a roll of film I never developed.
48
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,478
{\an8}Well, too late for that.
49
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,981
{\an8}All those photo developing joints
are either knocked down
50
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{\an8}or have been turned into deer blinds.
51
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(shotgun cocks)
52
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{\an8}Eh, listen, Homer, uh,
I can develop this for you.
53
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,791
{\an8}Yeah, this bar is so poorly lit,
54
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,918
{\an8}it's legally a darkroom.
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{\an8}HOMER: Mmm... mmm.
56
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{\an8}And the best part is,
Duff is chemically indistinguishable
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{\an8}from developing fluid.
58
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{\an8}Way to go, Duff!
59
00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,929
{\an8}I'm developing quite a thirst.
60
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,348
{\an8}Now, there's an eight-by-ten I can enjoy.
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{\an8}(squeals)
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00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,485
{\an8}Here you go, Midge.
63
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,821
{\an8}I played with the colors
and changed the lighting,
64
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:19,324
{\an8}but I could only make your kids
so cute and no cuter.
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00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:20,950
{\an8}This is so exciting.
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{\an8}It's like a sneak peek
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{\an8}into the long-forgotten world
of six years ago.
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{\an8}Yeah, well, beware.
69
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{\an8}These pictures
show that six years ago,
70
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,503
{\an8}Bart and Lisa were fighting
like creationists and common sense.
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{\an8}-(gasps)
-Hey, photos don't lie, my friend.
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(worried groan)
73
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:39,719
-Would you like a matte finish?
-Sure.
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{\an8}(Moe chuckles)
75
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There you go.
76
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♪ And I know if I don't ♪
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♪ I'll go out of my mind ♪
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♪ Better leave her behind ♪
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♪ With the kids, they're all right ♪
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♪ The kids are all right ♪
81
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♪ The kids are all right ♪
82
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Homer, you shot all these pictures.
83
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:09,624
Why didn't you step in?
84
00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:11,626
The light was so good, Marge.
85
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:14,587
-It was like Florence in May.
-I don't get it.
86
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:17,131
How come I was always fighting
with Señorita Stupid?
87
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,758
(groans)
88
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Don't waste beer.
89
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:23,596
And how did we reach
the uneasy alliance we enjoy today?
90
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,431
Well, it's quite a story.
91
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:29,519
A story of a special bond
between a brother and a sister.
92
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,437
I'd say our story is a tragedy.
93
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:32,814
Like the Planet of the Apes.
94
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:35,400
The tragedy being
they can never stop making them.
95
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:36,526
Hey, come on.
96
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,153
The first and eighth movies
were pretty darn good.
97
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,447
Now, as for you kids,
98
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,950
it all began six years ago.
99
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:46,744
The president of back then
was the president.
100
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:50,415
The popular music of those times
was all the rage.
101
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:53,251
{\an8}Wherever we went, you kids fought.
102
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:56,337
"Penny the Penguin wanted
to go to the North Pole.
103
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:59,507
Wally the Walrus
wanted to go to the South Pole."
104
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:03,094
I guess you could say
they were "polar opposites."
105
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,512
(groans)
106
00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:06,931
-You see, they're polar opp...
-I get it.
107
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,142
-It's just not funny.
-You know what's funny?
108
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,601
This.
109
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:11,853
Goodnight Moon?
110
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Good night, Bart!
111
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(grunting)
112
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(groans)
Did I hear someone whispering hush?
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(worried groan)
114
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(whispers)
I want you to get out.
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And stay out!
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(whispers) Thank you.
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So that's why we started going
to story time at the Kwik-E-Mart.
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Remember when Apu let Dad
have the expired hot dogs?
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(groans) Just once,
and I'm still taking medication for it.
120
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(groans)
So many photos of you kids fighting.
121
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That's why we never developed that roll.
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What? Back to that story?
123
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:53,603
Why can't you just relax
and be nice to your sister?
124
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My bed scares me.
125
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That's ridiculous.
126
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Now, just close your eyes
127
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and nuzzle in
under the big clown fangs.
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Attaboy. Sweet dreams.
129
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,080
-(Lisa giggles)
-She took my pencil.
130
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:16,042
Lisa, there are plenty of
mini golf pencils in the kitchen drawer.
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00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:20,046
Tell Bart, because it's my pencil
and he stole it!
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(grunts)
Starfish head!
133
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I can write your name better than you.
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(hums)
135
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(groans)
136
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-(over speaker): A.
-Ow!
137
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-E.
-Ow!
138
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-I.
-Ow!
139
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-O.
-You jerk!
140
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-Ow!
-Why, you little...
141
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:41,109
("Also Sprach Zarathustra" playing)
142
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-(angry groaning)
-(choking)
143
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,216
(chuckles)
144
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:08,302
Where is he learning this violence?
145
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(sighs)
146
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:22,150
Things got so bad between
Bart and Lisa, I was losing sleep.
147
00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:26,904
(gasps) Homer.
148
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,823
Homer, I just had the worst dream.
149
00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:31,659
I lost one of the kids
at the World's Fair.
150
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,536
It's okay. Which one?
151
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,079
Brisbane '88.
152
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,623
(gasps)
That's so horrible, baby.
153
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,333
I know, I know.
154
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,420
Now, don't worry.
They're right here in the bed.
155
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,255
(sleepy grunting)
156
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,842
We have to find some answers.
157
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,218
(scoffs) Answers.
158
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,345
That's your answer for everything.
159
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:57,477
My findings are that one of
your children is smart and good,
160
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,271
and the other is dim and evil.
161
00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:04,192
Professionally, I'm not permitted
to say which is which.
162
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,443
Is it the boy?
163
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,820
I told you, I can't say.
164
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,780
BART: What did that say?
165
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,533
-We're done here.
-Not so fast.
166
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,619
We have 40 minutes left.
167
00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:18,414
All right, we'll do a trust exercise.
168
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,291
Shut your eyes.
169
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,172
What are we going to do?
170
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:28,216
It's not so bad, sweetie.
171
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,801
I took a box of Altoids
from her waiting room.
172
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,804
The most anyone has ever
gotten out of therapy.
173
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,057
(groans)
174
00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,059
(grunting)
175
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:40,645
Watch it! Trying to mow.
176
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,063
The city's making me do this.
177
00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:44,690
-Hey, neighboreeno.
-(groans)
178
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,527
Maude and I know how hard it is
to be dealt a pair of little jokers.
179
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:51,239
Daddy, may we please go
tuck ourselves in for naps now?
180
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:53,824
Now, you know you can't tuck
yourselves in till you're 18.
181
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,953
-Go get Mommy.
-(humming happily)
182
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:59,956
-I'm sorry you had to witness that.
-Me, too.
183
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:02,625
Anyway, Maude and I thought
you'd like to hang out with adults
184
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:05,962
and have some mature conversatiaroonies,
so we'd like to take you to brunch.
185
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,505
Brunch? I wish.
186
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,799
Can't get a sitter
'cause our kids are nuts,
187
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,968
and no kennel will take them.
188
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,556
Now, sir,
don't you waffle on that brunch.
189
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,432
Grandma Flanders can watch the kids.
190
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,642
Hello, Joe.
191
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,311
Doesn't know who I am...
has trouble moving...
192
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,355
I'd say we have ourselves babysitter.
193
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,399
I just turned 100.
194
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,360
-Eight bucks an hour.
-I can't hear you.
195
00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:32,071
I said seven bucks!
196
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:38,244
(over speaker): "Woe to you,
scribes, Pharisees, hypocrites.
197
00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:40,705
For you tithe mint and dill and cumin."
198
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:43,666
Todd, I like how gentle
you are with that toy.
199
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,251
Enough nonsense.
200
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,086
It's time for prayers.
201
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,380
I don't know any prayers.
202
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:50,923
Is "hell's bells" a prayer?
203
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,675
'Cause Daddy says it all the time.
204
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,595
(screams)
205
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,179
(Homer humming)
206
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,848
Woop...
207
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:02,143
and woop... and...
208
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,729
-ziperoo.
-(moans)
209
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:08,190
I never said this before,
but the food can wait.
210
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,734
(gasps)
What do you mean?
211
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,736
Let's role-play.
212
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,279
Okay, but fast.
213
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,864
Um, um, got it.
214
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,616
Uh, me-- seagull.
215
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,659
You-- boardwalk trash can.
216
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,787
-Ooh!
-(caws)
217
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,122
(horn honks)
218
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:29,462
Well, isn't this a great chance
to drink more water?
219
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,297
My bladder's going to burst.
220
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,174
I know you've had a few too many waters,
221
00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:35,968
but that is no reason for the sailor talk.
222
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,555
She's awfully quiet.
223
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,849
Her body usually whistles.
224
00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,352
Well, this always wakes my grandpa up.
225
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,857
(both scream)
226
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,400
(continue screaming)
227
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,152
HOMER:
♪ Another bride ♪
228
00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:55,029
♪ Another June ♪
229
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:57,907
MARGE:
♪ Another sunny honeymoon ♪
230
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,825
♪ Another season ♪
231
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,577
♪ Another reason ♪
232
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,371
MARGE:
♪ For what we're doing ♪
233
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:04,664
(Homer caws)
234
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,540
They're never that happy
when we're around.
235
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,334
(lullaby chimes)
236
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:10,670
BOTH: Ice cream truck!
237
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,886
Mmm, that was wonderful.
238
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:21,514
My favorite kind of weekend morning.
239
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:25,726
A sexy snuggle while our rotten kids
are someone else's problem.
240
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,978
(laughs)
241
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:32,316
(laughs harder)
242
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,318
(gasping laughs)
243
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,826
Bart, those are strangers.
244
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:44,412
You're right, let's go where it's safe.
245
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:45,830
-(horn honks)
-MAN: Hey, watch it!
246
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,171
(horn honking)
247
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,382
Faster, faster.
248
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:58,342
Your brother is stupid.
249
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,344
Bye-bye.
250
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,180
{\an8}♪ The wheel I'm inside
goes round and round ♪
251
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:05,891
{\an8}♪ Round and round, round and round ♪
252
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:11,021
♪ The boat I'm on board
goes up and down ♪
253
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:13,399
♪ Up and down, up and down ♪
254
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:22,199
Thank you for a wonderful brunch.
255
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,201
I don't know what I liked more--
256
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:27,163
the personalized omelets
or the light jazz combo.
257
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:30,708
I liked when the trumpet player's
cheeks got really big.
258
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,960
-That's good music.
-(Ned gasps)
259
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,545
(screams)
260
00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,881
Grandma Flanders has passed.
261
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:39,508
-Where are our kids?
-Gone.
262
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,261
Looks like once Grandma turned
to dust, they took a powder.
263
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,013
Sorry if that seems a little flip.
264
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,765
(hyperventilating)
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
265
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,266
Don't worry, sweetie.
266
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:49,226
We'll call the local police,
and they'll find our kids.
267
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:50,811
We never used them till now,
268
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,938
but I'm sure they're highly competent.
269
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:56,984
Gunderson, before we hire you,
one final test.
270
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,986
Can you get these handcuffs off of me?
271
00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:02,490
Uh, might seem like
a one-time situation, but it's not.
272
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,533
(telephone ringing)
273
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:10,790
Hey, you know, I used to represent
Silver Star Police Supplies.
274
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,334
Then they gave my territory
to the owner's nephew.
275
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,711
And they wonder why
they lost Jackson City.
276
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,088
I was Jackson City!
277
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,590
Yeah, focus on the cuffs, please.
278
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:26,347
Well, well, look who's burning plastic.
279
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:29,850
It's mine. Give it back.
280
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,144
Looks like someone hasn't learned--
281
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,146
you don't argue with bullies.
282
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:37,191
Thank goodness I have a teaching fist.
283
00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:39,777
(laughing)
284
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:42,071
(Lisa crying)
285
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:46,700
What's her problem?
286
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,330
Please, don't hurt my brother.
287
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:54,041
Aw, come on. Don't cry.
288
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:57,378
This is why I'm so nervous
about becoming a dad.
289
00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:59,338
(snorts, cries)
290
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,423
I'm crying out my nose.
291
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,717
(snorts, cries)
292
00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:07,304
Fine, you babies can go.
293
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:10,516
Let's go over to Mommy & Me
and cut holes in the parachute
294
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,977
so it doesn't billow properly.
295
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,229
(Kearney laughs) Baby!
296
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,898
-All right, let's move.
-Why aren't you crying?
297
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,984
I was pretending, and it worked.
298
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,443
Hmm.
299
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,946
You know, kid,
with your smarts and my Barts,
300
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,656
we make a good team.
301
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:26,866
What are "Barts"?
302
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:28,576
You're the smart one.
You figure it out.
303
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:32,830
(nervous groan)
I sure hope this book is right.
304
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,374
(door opens)
305
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:36,917
HOMER: Marge, I'm back.
306
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,669
Sorry, nothing.
307
00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:41,422
But if we have a third kid,
we should call her Maggie.
308
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:42,840
Why Maggie?
309
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,341
It's a good name if we lose her.
310
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,510
Maggie? Maggie?
311
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,429
Going back out.
312
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,098
Maggie?
313
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:56,604
All right, I'm turning
to a desperate mother's last resort.
314
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,732
(sighs)
315
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,484
I hope it works.
316
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,028
Psychic hotline.
317
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:06,363
Selma? You're a psychic now?
318
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:07,865
I'm filling in for a friend.
319
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,325
She got hit by a car.
320
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:10,910
Never saw it coming.
321
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,119
(groans)
322
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,121
I'll never see my kids again.
323
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,956
I'm sensing...
324
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,499
it's all your husband's fault.
325
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,168
That'll be $20.
326
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,836
(groans)
327
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,006
I know this place.
328
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,508
It's where Grampa
and his friends the monsters live.
329
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,552
(creepy moaning)
330
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,012
(moans)
331
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,722
I want to pinch 'em.
332
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,850
Teach me how to use my phone.
333
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,395
Stay away from my grandchildren,
you love-sucking ghouls.
334
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,230
(moaning like zombies)
335
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,066
(muttering)
336
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:44,193
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
337
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,487
I made it out of clay.
338
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,113
(moans)
339
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,823
Where did you go?
340
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,451
Now, you have some candy,
341
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,913
while I tell the nurses station
to go get your folks.
342
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,627
(snoring)
343
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,921
I guess you should be in charge, Lisa.
344
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:07,257
You'll always be half my age,
but you'll always be smarter than me.
345
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:09,969
Don't worry, Bart,
you'll always think you're in charge,
346
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,804
even though I secretly will be.
347
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:13,222
Thank you.
348
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,517
Okay. Listen up, you childless losers.
349
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,602
I need you to help me find my kids.
350
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,938
Any of these them? Hmm?
351
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,984
-Uh... no.
-Sorry, kids.
352
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,111
I'll place you with your parents,
but for now,
353
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,530
go back to making
those little drink umbrellas.
354
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,242
CARL: Homer, we'll definitely help you,
but, uh, you're gonna have to wait.
355
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,910
{\an8}We just ordered a pie for the bar.
356
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,832
-What'd you do that for?
-Yeah.
357
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:42,793
It took us 45 minutes
to choose a topping.
358
00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:45,087
We decided on cheese.
359
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,176
Twice!
360
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,553
A new record.
361
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:54,888
We're lost. Can you help us?
362
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,266
I'll tell my dad about you right now.
363
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,977
-Dad! Dad! Dad!
-(music on TV)
364
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,854
Cartoons.
365
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,522
Milhouse, keep it down.
366
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,482
I got to finish these tax returns.
367
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,067
Ooh, cartoons.
368
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,194
-(suspenseful music on TV)
-(cat yowls on TV)
369
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,904
(explosion booms on TV)
370
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:14,616
-Whoa!
-BOTH: Big dog! Big dog!
371
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,910
(barking)
372
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,746
(barking continues)
373
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,831
I'm scared, Bart.
374
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,833
Once,
I read a book called Jack and Jill.
375
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,418
They went down a hill.
376
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,420
And broke their crowns!
377
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:27,921
Good thing we don't have crowns.
378
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,174
"Crown" means head!
379
00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:31,842
Ay, caramba!
380
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,094
(screaming)
381
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,684
Ta-da! I saved you!
382
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,770
Ugh! But you pushed me!
383
00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:45,564
Duh. I couldn't save you
until I pushed you.
384
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,399
Girls make no sense!
385
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,193
Anyway, we're even-steven.
386
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,944
I just don't want to fight anymore.
387
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:53,489
-Okay. But it was always your fault.
-Fine.
388
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:54,782
'Cause you're a jerk.
389
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,201
(grunts)
Can't you see I'm giving in?
390
00:17:57,284 --> 00:18:00,120
(singsongy) I beat a two-year-old,
I beat a two-year-old.
391
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,457
♪ ♪
392
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,334
(gasping)
393
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:09,046
♪ ♪
394
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:18,597
I left my kids with the weirdo next door,
and now they're gone!
395
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,265
Tell me everything.
396
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,810
-(gasps) Homer, no!
-(shrieks)
397
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:30,025
(pants)
I'd give anything to have them back.
398
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,902
I don't care about the fighting.
399
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:36,198
Hey, chatterbox, there's a couple of kids
right there at the top of the tire fire.
400
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:37,950
(both gasp)
401
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:39,701
How did you get up there?!
402
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,787
You know how kids like to climb things.
403
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:43,205
What are we gonna do?!
404
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,124
They say you're supposed
to get great strength
405
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,708
when your kids are threatened.
406
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,210
I'm kind of feeling it.
407
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,212
We just bought them new shoes.
408
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:52,714
(fierce roar)
409
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,553
You did it, Homie!
410
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,097
(both yelling)
411
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,601
-(both grunt)
-BOTH: Ah...
412
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:05,853
-(screams)
-(gasps)
413
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:07,146
(bed creaking)
414
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,024
(lullaby chiming)
415
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,485
Ice cream truck!
416
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,612
Bart! Haven't you learned anything?
417
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,739
I'm still learning our phone number.
418
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,241
And I've almost got it.
419
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:22,202
But in an emergency,
I'll just dial 9-1-8.
420
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:25,664
But the wonderful thing is,
you kids get along.
421
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:29,084
And we were able to have
a third beautiful child.
422
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:32,045
Wait. But how did you have
an extra room for Maggie?
423
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,006
Well, that's where I used
to grow my weed.
424
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,883
But that's a story for another day.
425
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:37,843
Never mind, never mind.
426
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:42,389
(Seinfeld theme plays)
427
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,643
Well, I didn't think she'd make it,
but I was wrong.
428
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:49,062
I guess your grandmother
just wants to stick around
429
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,647
to see those boys grow up.
430
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,107
(cheering)
431
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:55,277
♪ Amazing grace ♪
432
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,655
♪ How sweet the sound ♪
433
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,199
Loud singing could kill her.
434
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,117
HOMER: And it did.
435
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,577
Stop telling us this story!
436
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:06,788
You've had three natural endings already!
437
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,790
Isn't that sweet?
438
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,709
Six years ago, they were fighting.
439
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:13,253
Now they're playing pool in a bar.
440
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,796
Father of the year, pal.
441
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,632
Father of the year.
442
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,717
♪♪
443
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:24,264
(theme music playing)
444
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,137
Shh!
445
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,935
Subtitled by A. Vandelay