1
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CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:05,672
(Marge groaning)
3
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D'oh!
4
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(tires screeching)
5
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(grunts)
6
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(sizzling, popping)
7
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(groans)
8
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{\an8}Excuse me?
9
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:32,032
{\an8}I'm having trouble
10
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{\an8}with the on-off button
on my phone.
11
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:36,119
{\an8}Okay, let me check your
settings, your photos.
12
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,246
{\an8}I don't see
why you need to do that.
13
00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:40,498
{\an8}Wow, that guy's really fat.
14
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{\an8}That's my husband! Oh!
15
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{\an8}Let me talk
to another salesman.
16
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{\an8}Oh, I'm not a salesman.
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{\an8}I'm just a guy in a blue shirt.
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{\an8}Oh!
19
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{\an8}Okay, Maggie, from now on,
20
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{\an8}we only talk to people at stores
with name tags.
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{\an8}I've said it before,
but this time, I mean it.
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{\an8}-(tires screech)
-(gasps) What happened?
23
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{\an8}Oh, someone snuck
into the construction site,
24
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{\an8}stole a bulldozer and went
joyriding all over town.
25
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{\an8}(cat meows)
26
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{\an8}Don't worry.
I have a suspect. Heh!
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{\an8}(gasps)
28
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{\an8}I can't stand
to see anything suffer.
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{\an8}Now I've got everything I need
to convict your boy,
30
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{\an8}except for motive,
means, and opportunity.
31
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{\an8}You also have no evidence.
32
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{\an8}That's implied!
33
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{\an8}So, I'm remanding him...
34
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{\an8}Is that a word-- "remanding"?
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{\an8}Yeah, uh, to your custody.
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{\an8}Maybe a mother can find out
what a police chief can't.
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{\an8}-(phone chimes)
-Hmm?
38
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What?
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00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:43,895
Oh!
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{\an8}Let's go.
41
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{\an8}Monarch butterfly, earwig,
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{\an8}roly-poly, doodlebug,
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{\an8}beer cap, ant, beer bottle, Barney.
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{\an8}All right, I'm on a list!
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{\an8}(dog barking)
46
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{\an8}(gasps)
Flanders got a new dog!
47
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{\an8}(barking)
48
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,335
{\an8}Aw, what's her name?
49
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:10,213
{\an8}Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz.
We just call her Baz.
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{\an8}Now it's time for her Christian
doggy training.
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00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:13,716
{\an8}This will be interesting.
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{\an8}Sit. Kneel.
53
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{\an8}Pray. Play dead.
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{\an8}Now resurrect.
55
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{\an8}And sit in glory
at the right hand of Todd.
56
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:27,397
{\an8}Finally,
a religion that makes sense.
57
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{\an8}All right, Mr. Smarty,
what went on back there?
58
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,944
{\an8}Mom, why is it
the only time you call me smart
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{\an8}is when you're being sarcastic?
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{\an8}Really? Do I do that?
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00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,949
{\an8}Because I really shouldn't.
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00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:40,743
{\an8}You're the one
in trouble here, bub!
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Why don't you think about
what you just did?
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00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,165
Why don't you think about
what you just did?
65
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Hmm.
66
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,301
I will live with that forever,
67
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but this is about you.
68
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I swear to you on my mother's grave,
I didn't do a thing!
69
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,932
Sorry, sorry.
70
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:08,396
So, the Flanderses got a new dog,
and it knows my name!
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00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:11,482
Good for you, little girl!
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00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,067
Marge, Bart, I've noticed
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neither of you
have said a word all meal.
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Are there feelings
going unexpressed here?
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00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,074
Because if there are...
76
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:23,745
I believe someone at this table
isn't telling us the truth.
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00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,498
Master Bart Simpson!
78
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,963
Kids, could you
excuse us for a moment?
79
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,675
Your mother and I need
to have an adult conversation.
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00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,469
What'd he do?
What'd he do? (laughs)
81
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:40,803
Your son stole a bulldozer.
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00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,264
-How do you know?
-A mother knows.
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-Does a wife know things?
-Yes.
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(shrieks)
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00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:48,645
I believe
we were talking about Bart.
86
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,022
I'm afraid I don't know
how to handle him anymore.
87
00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:54,692
Oh, Bart's ten.
He's too old to be handled.
88
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,737
We should just think of excuses
for when he goes bonkers.
89
00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,280
Oh. "Acne medicine."
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00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,032
When in doubt,
blame the acne medicine.
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00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:02,659
No, I'm not giving up on Bart,
92
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,744
just like I didn't
give up on our marriage
93
00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:07,789
when you quit your job to start
the North American Sumo League.
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00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,916
The NASL
would have made money
95
00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:14,045
if someone had washed
a few sumo loincloths for me!
96
00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:17,966
I said I would do yours,
but not the whole dojo.
97
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Bart, get in here!
98
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,432
Look me in the eye and tell me
99
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:29,060
you know nothing
about that bulldozer.
100
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:31,437
I know nothing
about that bulldozer.
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00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:32,981
MARGE:
This is bad.
102
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He can't tell his mother
what he does.
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Where will that lead?
104
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(with Irish accent)
Any last words, boyo?
105
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:40,863
I know nothing
about that bulldozer.
106
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-Give him the juice!
-(electricity crackling)
107
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(laughs)
108
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Which one's yours?
109
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The one being electrocuted!
110
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:50,290
I've never seen
an eyeball pop so fast.
111
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,960
I wish I could
tell you about that bulldozer,
112
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,921
but how can I explain something
I know nothing about?
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I am not cable news.
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Stop it! Stop it!
115
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,302
Stop lying right now!
116
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,304
But-- But you have to believe me.
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You're my mom!
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-All right, I will believe you on this.
-Smart.
119
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,728
But until then,
I'm going to keep my eye on you.
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All the time.
121
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All the time?
122
00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:17,066
How are you gonna
change Maggie?
123
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,407
Eh, close enough.
124
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OTTO:
All aboard.
125
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,079
Mom, what are you doing?
126
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,416
I told you, to trust you,
I have to watch you.
127
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All the time.
128
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:39,547
Mmm.
129
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,215
You're gonna be riding this bus?
130
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:44,886
I'm going to be watching my son
wherever he goes.
131
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Then you'd better go out the back,
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'cause that's where he went.
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D'oh!
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(barking)
135
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:02,195
Oh, you must be Flanders' new dog.
136
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:04,113
I just want to apologize in advance
137
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,782
for the things
I'm gonna blame on you.
138
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,200
Homer, meet Baz.
139
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:09,118
-(barking)
-(laughing)
140
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:14,248
Oh, sorry, Flanders.
141
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,000
I'm sure she has fun with you.
142
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,960
(laughs)
She sure likes you.
143
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,421
Must be the cheeseburgers
in your sweat.
144
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,591
Cheeseburgers in my sweat.
Really?
145
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:27,678
Now, apparently,
I have cheeseburgers in my sweat.
146
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,434
I can leave any time, Bart.
147
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:36,187
Just tell me what happened
with that bulldozer.
148
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,189
-Next question.
-Fine.
149
00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:40,191
Which papers
on the walls are yours?
150
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,859
None of them.
151
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,237
Is that the boy
who copies off you?
152
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,364
I copy off him?!
153
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:51,285
What brand of poppycock
is this miscreant feeding you, madam?
154
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,079
Okay, Mom, I admit it.
155
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:55,790
There's a few lies I told you
that you're gonna find out.
156
00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,917
Simpson,
you said your mother was dead.
157
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,752
(groans)
158
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,213
She's become a zombie! Run!
159
00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:05,758
(humming)
160
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,929
Mom, churros are good for you.
161
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,472
They're ethnic.
162
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,391
Hey, Simpson,
you need your mommy
163
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:15,268
to cut your carrots for you?
164
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:17,145
He can cut his own carrots.
165
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,814
Baby carrots, 'cause he's a baby!
166
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:22,442
(laughter)
167
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:23,443
Brilliant!
168
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,695
Mom, Dad does plenty of stuff
you don't like.
169
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,280
Why don't you follow him?
170
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:29,365
Following an adult is creepy.
171
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,784
Following your kid is parenting.
172
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:35,163
I'm so lucky my mom's
in Gainesboro, Florida...
173
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:36,789
I think.
174
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:40,293
Is my mom still outside?
175
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:43,671
She's swinging on a swing,
and Ralph's pushing her.
176
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:45,965
RALPH:
Hello! Good-bye!
177
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:47,633
Hello!
Good-bye!
178
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,343
Hello! Good-bye!
179
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,262
Hello!
Good-bye!
180
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,139
Hello! Good-bye!
181
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:56,267
I am never leaving this tube.
182
00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:59,270
Sorry, lad.
You've been in more than five minutes,
183
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:00,813
so I've got to remove you.
184
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:04,442
And I'm authorized to use
the greatest weapon at me disposal.
185
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:07,445
(playing "Highland March")
186
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,113
No!
187
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,532
Scotland! 1,200 years,
188
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,868
and we've only written one song!
189
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,370
(resumes playing)
190
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,289
(loud gulping)
191
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,500
Man. (gulps)
192
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,920
Staying on this all-pork-chop diet
is easier than I thought.
193
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:25,546
That diet doesn't work.
194
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,924
You have to give it a year.
195
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,800
So, how was school today?
196
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:30,968
Well, actually,
197
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,471
I caused quite a ruckus
in the nurse's office
198
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:35,640
by pointing out they
weren't putting fresh paper
199
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,391
on the lay-down table.
200
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,560
Very good, sweetie.
Could you lean back?
201
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,145
I have to focus on your brother.
202
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,773
Sure, sure.
No need to worry about Lisa.
203
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,316
Lisa's always fine.
204
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:46,567
No worries there. Nah.
205
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:49,320
(scratching sound)
206
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,490
(barking)
207
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:55,076
Aw. What are you doing here?
208
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:58,454
I bet you escaped,
and now Flanders is worried sick.
209
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,623
I should call him...
after I scratch your tummy!
210
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,166
That's right!
211
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:05,169
Who likes their tummy scratched
while Flanders is worried sick?
212
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:08,005
You do! You do!
Yes, you do!
213
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,799
Oh, he doesn't know where you are.
214
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,260
(laughing)
Yes, he's probably crying right now.
215
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:13,803
(growling)
216
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,888
Come on, boy.
We'll go to my room.
217
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:19,100
I can play jazz,
or give you a bath, or...
218
00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:20,434
(sighs)
219
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,103
Never chooses jazz.
220
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:23,938
Hmm?
221
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,898
-(grunts)
-(groans)
222
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,569
(muttering) Middle child.
No one cares about the middle child.
223
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:30,987
Never, ever gonna change.
224
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,822
Lisa, can I talk to you?
225
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:34,532
Oh, here it is, the quick check-in
226
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:36,492
every two years
just like clockwork.
227
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:40,162
All right, let me speak to you
in a language you'll understand.
228
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,790
(muttering) Oh, boy, oh, boy,
Lisa never gets it.
229
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,166
She's great,
and everyone knows that.
230
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,918
Oh, man, trying to stay mad.
231
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,753
I'm kind of impressed
that Dad's making an effort.
232
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,422
It's not really like him.
233
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:52,216
I should never say this, but I will.
She's my favorite child.
234
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,093
Oh, now he's pulling out
the big guns.
235
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:55,720
Oh, I don't want to pout anymore.
236
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,805
If he offers me ice cream,
I'm gonna break.
237
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:58,973
-You want some ice cream?
-Yes!
238
00:09:59,056 --> 00:09:59,932
Whoo-hoo!
239
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,643
LISA: I knew he was gonna break.
I'm gonna write a song.
240
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,395
HOMER:
That makes them happy,
241
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,272
and the best part
is I get some ice cream, too.
242
00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:08,232
-(Homer laughing)
-(dog barking)
243
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,611
Boys, isn't that the ball
that she won't play with?
244
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:14,238
She likes it
when Uncle Homer throws it.
245
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,823
He's not your uncle!
246
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:18,409
So that means I can marry Maggie?
247
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:19,952
Quit asking me that!
248
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,912
(rustling in brush)
249
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,373
Be ye friend or foe?
250
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,793
Well, be ye?
251
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,754
(sighs)
This is the only place I can go
252
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,130
my mom doesn't know about.
253
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,882
Bart, you know
you're always welcome
254
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,717
to come stay in my tree house.
255
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,052
You don't have a tree house.
256
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,762
My dad's gonna build it.
257
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,847
That's why I didn't
get a present from him
258
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,641
last birthday and Christmas.
259
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:44,393
It's gonna be some tree house.
260
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,145
Milhouse,
you don't even have a tree.
261
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:47,855
He's gonna plant it soon.
262
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:49,732
He just has to get
enough money together
263
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,734
to buy a pack of apple seeds.
264
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,694
Just hand me the Mountain Doo.
265
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,696
Your mom says
that makes you bloated.
266
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,531
Give me the damn Doo!
267
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,659
Finally safe from my mom.
268
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,077
She wouldn't want
to come way out here
269
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,329
and ruin her dainty little shoes.
270
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,122
(loud rustling,
booming footsteps)
271
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:07,500
(yowls)
272
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:12,588
When she's got
that much hair spray,
273
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,840
nothing can stop her.
274
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,884
How'd you find me?
275
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,469
Spool of thread in your pants.
276
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:19,887
I'll respool it for you.
277
00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:21,389
I'm good at doing things
278
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:24,308
so I can pretend there
isn't a fight going on.
279
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,102
Mom, you have gone too far.
280
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:29,647
Superman's mom would never
go in his Fortress of Solitude!
281
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,358
Actually,
the Fortress of Solitude has a statue
282
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:33,984
of Superman's mother.
283
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,820
Stop reading my comics!
284
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:38,072
I can't help it--
you leave them out everywhere.
285
00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:39,949
When will you leave me alone?
286
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,576
When you tell me
about that bulldozer.
287
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,538
I know nothing about
that bulldozer!
288
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:49,333
Milhouse, is there something
you know about the bulldozer?
289
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,753
Well, I know the bulldozer
was invented in 1923
290
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,256
by James Cummings
and J. Earl McLeod.
291
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:59,093
Now, please,
let me focus on the thread!
292
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,847
Got to get out.
Got to get out.
293
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:06,851
HOMER:
D'oh!
294
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,186
Dad, are you gonna snitch on me?
295
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:12,356
Moe's before bros!
296
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,150
♪ ♪
297
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:17,570
(quietly)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Mom.
298
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,488
Whoopsy.
299
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:26,954
(silence)
300
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,666
(engine grinding)
301
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,461
Hmm?
302
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,087
Oh!
303
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:38,883
(dog growling playfully)
304
00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:44,138
"Property of Ned Flanders"?
305
00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:46,807
That means you got this
from Homer.
306
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:50,853
Lord, I truly love this dog,
307
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,230
but maybe she'd be happier
next door.
308
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:56,192
But I don't want to give her up
unless you think it's the best.
309
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,944
As always, I will interpret
the lack of any sort of response
310
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,738
as a sign of thy will.
311
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,241
(sad sigh)
312
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:07,411
(theme song playing)
313
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:13,751
Well, the kid passed through again.
314
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,253
We can all go inside.
315
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:20,090
♪ ♪
316
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,824
Nice rowing, Bart.
317
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,116
Good job.
318
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,410
Stop caring about me!
319
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,997
(panting)
320
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,041
Sweetie, let me help you up.
321
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:57,419
Your nagging is melting my bones.
322
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,213
(moaning)
323
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,341
(moaning)
324
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,220
Okay, fine!
325
00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:09,014
I'm giving you
one more chance, buster.
326
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,267
Tell me about that bulldozer!
327
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,351
What bulldozer?
328
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,603
You're in charge of yourself.
329
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,272
Get home whenever.
330
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,440
My parenting stops now.
331
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,067
Oh.
332
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,237
Okay, now.
333
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,156
(sighs)
334
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,285
At last!
335
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,245
A way off Lepers Island!
336
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,872
Oh...
337
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,248
(gasps)
338
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:40,504
Boys, I realize now
that Baz would be happier
339
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:41,922
in another home.
340
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:46,302
So we're giving her
to Ho... Ho... Ho...
341
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,053
We're giving her to Santa?
342
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,346
No! Someone fatter.
343
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,306
Oh, I'm sorry, boys,
344
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,641
that you had to hear
that mild insult.
345
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,227
Mild insults are like mild salsa--
346
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,313
they still burn!
347
00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,982
(quietly)
Bart, should I shut the door?
348
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,817
No need.
My mom's cool now.
349
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,069
Check it out--
last night, I stayed up till 10:45.
350
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,071
Oh, my God!
351
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,823
BART: I took a picture
so I could show everybody.
352
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,909
Now let me show you
what I've been planning.
353
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,786
(à la Mayor Quimby)
Er, uh,
354
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:16,123
welcome to our celebration
of, er, uh,
355
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,626
our city's lame-o sign.
356
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,461
You nailed him!
357
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,765
-"Fie"?
-Yeah. Look it up.
358
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:35,809
"Used to express disgust or outrage"?
359
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:39,229
(gasps)
That's the worst F-word there is!
360
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:41,690
Bart, I'm not butting in anymore,
361
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,068
so you don't have to hide things
under your blanky.
362
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:45,903
It isn't a blanky anymore.
363
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:47,655
Hasn't been for three months!
364
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,573
So, we want you to have our dog.
365
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:53,077
You just give her love,
and I'll pay for all the shots.
366
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,079
Shots?
What, is she going to India?
367
00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:56,789
Bye, Baz.
368
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,335
(barks)
369
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,588
(sniffling)
370
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,341
HOMER:
Aw, geez, I can't stand
371
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,343
to see Flanders sad.
372
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,678
Or happy.
373
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,888
Pretty much can't stand
to see Flanders.
374
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,765
But he'll need something
to cheer him up
375
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:17,101
when his boys run away.
376
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:18,268
You know what, Flanders?
377
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:19,937
I think you should take her back.
378
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,772
Homer, don't be crazy.
379
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:23,816
Look at that tail wag for you.
380
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:26,276
Have you seen what it does for me?
381
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:30,739
No, no, no.
To her, I'm just another dog.
382
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,826
A dog she's in love with
but can never have.
383
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:36,286
But she's only got one of you,
Flanders--
384
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:39,373
the guy who will
take care of her forever.
385
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,750
Oh, thank you, Homer.
386
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,420
This has been the happiest
dog day afternoon ever.
387
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,546
Aw...
388
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:54,722
I'm still not sure-- did you do
that bulldozer thing before?
389
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,974
You were there.
Maybe when I hit you with the blade,
390
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:58,225
you forgot some stuff.
391
00:16:58,308 --> 00:16:59,435
I was trying to get your attention,
392
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:00,978
but it was heavier than I thought.
393
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,147
Well, no one fought more
than Cummings and McLeod
394
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,940
when they invented the bulldozer.
395
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,901
Even the name "bulldozer"
was a great source of...
396
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:08,986
Aah!
397
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:10,696
Bart, I can't do this.
398
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:14,491
No offense,
but I have a mother who still loves me.
399
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:20,914
QUIMBY: We come here today
to honor this sign,
400
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:23,083
which was purchased,
letter by letter,
401
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,377
from other failed towns.
402
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,839
Huh?
403
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:30,424
Aw, stupid Mom.
404
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:31,967
Stuck something in my backpack.
405
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,969
Typical.
406
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:38,348
Oh, man, she makes good chicken.
407
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:41,852
You're the best boy a mom could want.
408
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,522
I've failed as a mother!
409
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,904
I'm growing a conscience!
410
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,490
I've got to change this prank.
411
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,413
Much better.
412
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:02,748
(creaking)
413
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,459
Our iconic sign is aquiver!
414
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,920
(nervous chuckle)
Everyone remain calm.
415
00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:10,047
This is a part of the show.
416
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,382
(quietly)
VIPs, follow me.
417
00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:15,219
Much better.
418
00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,721
I don't seen nothing wrong.
419
00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,435
Better to die a VIP
420
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:27,064
than to live
as an ordinary American citizen.
421
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,444
SKINNER:
It says "F-D."
422
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,488
It's a tribute to the fire department.
423
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,281
(crowd cheers)
424
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:39,451
The chili-cooking saints of the city!
425
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,286
It's true--
we do love our chili.
426
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,413
The secret is stirring it.
427
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,916
I'm a huge fan.
That's why I wear suspenders
428
00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:48,127
and start little fires here and there.
429
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,129
(panting) Mom, Mom...
430
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,089
I learned there's a line I won't cross,
431
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,174
and it's 'cause of you and your chicken.
432
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,635
That woman does make
convincing chicken.
433
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:59,721
You're the best boy a mother could want...
434
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,391
if you tell me
about the bulldozer.
435
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:04,059
All right.
It was me.
436
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,103
(gasps)
Why, you little...
437
00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:08,188
(quiet grunting)
438
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,857
(chuckles)
439
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:13,443
Yeah, harder to strangle
than it looks, isn't it, Marge?
440
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:14,778
Oh...
441
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,155
And you're under arrest.
442
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:19,283
-How'd you figure it out?
-I heard you say it.
443
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:20,951
The only way I solve any crime.
444
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,953
You don't have to stop hugging.
445
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:29,376
(coughing)
446
00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:30,502
So you see, Mom,
447
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,504
because of the wrinkled
lay-down paper
448
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:35,424
in the nurse's office,
I got mono.
449
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,968
You really should've kept
your eyes on that ball.
450
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:40,262
Oh, all these problems.
451
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,389
You kids are like whack-a-moles.
452
00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:44,099
Oh, that reminds me.
453
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,393
Maggie hurt herself
playing Whack-A-Mole.
454
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:47,644
Aw.
455
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,447
Come here, you.
456
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,450
Come here.
I know I've been having my fun elsewhere,
457
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:04,411
and no one could blame you
if you didn't take me back,
458
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:06,663
but if you'll have me,
I'll take you
459
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:10,292
on the longest walk of your life!
460
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,085
No hills.
461
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:16,131
Dogs-- so easy to make up with.
462
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:26,058
(theme from The Good,
the Bad and the Ugly playing)
463
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,192
(meows)
464
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,959
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!
465
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,965
Subtitled by Jimmy Boots