1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:04,796 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:06,214 Oh, no. 3 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,553 (exclaiming) 4 00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:18,268 (school bell ringing) 5 00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,022 (Barney belches) 6 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,773 (whistle blows) 7 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,734 (yells) 8 00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,406 (beeping) 9 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,830 (playing the blues) 10 00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:43,543 (playing the blues) 11 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:44,836 (tires screeching) 12 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,589 D'oh! 13 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:48,757 (tires screeching) 14 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:49,841 (grunts) 15 00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:51,009 (yells) 16 00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:52,677 (grunts) 17 00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:55,680 (screams) 18 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:58,016 (screaming) 19 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,895 (chuckles) 20 00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:09,611 D'oh! Ooh! 21 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,491 (groans) 22 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,747 (mouth groans) 23 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,210 Ooh! 24 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,214 (gasps) 25 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,469 (belches) 26 00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:37,013 (heart beating) 27 00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,601 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,353 (squishing, blurping) 29 00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:47,524 Why, you little...! 30 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:48,858 (Homer and Bart grunt) 31 00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:05,834 Huh...?! 32 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:12,173 {\an8}Eh, welcome fellow barkeeps, gin-slingers, and beer jerks. 33 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:15,593 {\an8}We are all here because drinkin' in our bars is down. 34 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:19,097 {\an8}Mom-and-pop bartenders can't compete with big box stores 35 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:21,349 {\an8}like Booze Barn and Hooch City. 36 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,518 {\an8}(bell dinging) 37 00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,311 {\an8}(all clamoring) 38 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:26,855 {\an8}Uh, folks, this is the owner 39 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,606 {\an8}of the airport bar speaking. 40 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,818 {\an8}Uh, we're experiencing some financial turbulence. 41 00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:33,111 {\an8}Uh, please remain calm. 42 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,737 {\an8}Now let's watch this informational video 43 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,116 {\an8}that'll help save our business. 44 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,451 {\an8}Thanks, Cap. 45 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,872 {\an8}Now what I'm proposing is a superhero pub crawl. 46 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:46,082 {\an8}Our clientele dress up in costume 47 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,750 {\an8}and go drinking from bar to bar. 48 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:51,212 {\an8}Their masks make 'em feel uninhibited and invulnerable. 49 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,298 {\an8}(all murmuring positively) 50 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:54,549 {\an8}Yeah, and that's not all. 51 00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:55,925 {\an8}Why don't you tell 'em about it, Moe? 52 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,385 {\an8}Yeah, you got it, Moe. 53 00:02:57,468 --> 00:03:01,014 {\an8}We can make up superhero drink names and charge 'em double. 54 00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:02,932 {\an8}Like, uh, Nick Fury, Agent of Schnapps; 55 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,809 {\an8}Sex in the Batmobile; 56 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:05,977 {\an8}and Wolveriskey. 57 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:08,146 {\an8}Here, check out my, uh, portfolium here. 58 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,237 {\an8}(all clamoring, cheering) 59 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,907 {\an8}Whoo! Yeah! 60 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,208 {\an8}Flame on! (belches) 61 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,585 {\an8}(inhales) Oh-God-oh-God-oh-God! 62 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,547 {\an8}I can't breathe! 63 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,299 {\an8}No, no, no! 64 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,593 {\an8}Why do they call this a yard of ale? 65 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,011 {\an8}Easy. After you drink one, 66 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:41,804 {\an8}you're passed out in your yard. 67 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,056 {\an8}Hmm. 68 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,073 {\an8}(drunkenly) Well, better get home. 69 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:03,409 {\an8}The delightfulness ended hours ago. 70 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,828 {\an8}Homer, the best thing for you to do 71 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,456 {\an8}in this situation is keep drinking. Heh. 72 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:16,005 {\an8}(Homer moaning) 73 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,049 {\an8}(groaning) 74 00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:20,134 {\an8}(Otto laughs) 75 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:23,429 {\an8}Oh, why are you doing this to me, booze? 76 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,099 {\an8}I drank every kind of you! 77 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:27,517 {\an8}-See ya, Homer! -Bye, Dad! 78 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,811 {\an8}Have a good day, you two! 79 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,646 {\an8}Don't be me! 80 00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,196 {\an8}There's my dad! 81 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:44,117 {\an8}Wait, I think I just sucked up a dollar! 82 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,827 {\an8}(grunting) 83 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,121 {\an8}José, hit the switch! 84 00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,956 {\an8}We are not all Josés, man. 85 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:51,624 {\an8}(other kids laugh) 86 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,839 {\an8}Oh! Art. 87 00:04:57,922 --> 00:04:59,465 {\an8}Simpson! Smock up! 88 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:00,633 {\an8}Every time I do art, 89 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,636 {\an8}some do-gooder teacher sends it straight to a therapist. 90 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,014 {\an8}Your stuff is pretty disturbing. 91 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,974 {\an8}I've never acted on any of it. 92 00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:10,101 {\an8}You will take art, you will enjoy art, 93 00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:13,563 {\an8}and you will make something in a kiln your mother can use. 94 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:17,191 Oh... (groans) 95 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,071 Maggie! Why'd you do that? 96 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:28,828 Oh, I just came in to take out the trash! 97 00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:31,331 And you shall leave immortal! 98 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,249 Also, take out the trash. 99 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,293 Honest! 100 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,045 Inspiring! 101 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,339 Yes... necessary! 102 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,924 Oh, Milhouse-ian! 103 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:45,053 Oh, Bart, it's wonderful! 104 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,679 Really? Wonderful? 105 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,181 I just drowned a grasshopper in paint 106 00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:49,932 and let him crawl on the paper till he died. 107 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,309 You know what that's called? 108 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,686 Mixed-media conceptual art. 109 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,855 No, it's not, because I hate art. 110 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,940 Oh, then it's protest art! 111 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,692 Stop encouraging me! 112 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,779 I will admire you from afar...! 113 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:03,863 (exasperated grunt) 114 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,656 (gasps) 115 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,745 Shauna? What are you doing here? 116 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:13,247 Training for the Olympics. 117 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,292 I gotta find a way to get rid of my art teacher. 118 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,919 Easy. Voodoo. 119 00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:19,921 Is there a voodoo queen you can direct me to? 120 00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:22,757 Oh, yeah. She lives in a trailer down by Yogurtland. 121 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,051 Now kiss me. I wanna make somebody mad. 122 00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:26,677 (grunting) 123 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,012 What are you doing?! 124 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,681 What's my no-good daughter up to now? 125 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:37,271 Now you have everyt'ing you need for the voodoo. 126 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,357 -Would you like a bag? -Yes, ma'am. 127 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,110 Paper or plastic? 128 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,694 Uh, plastic. 129 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:46,781 Just like the chicken foot say you would! 130 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,706 Okay, did you get Trunch's DNA? 131 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,251 Yeah, got it out of her purse. 132 00:06:58,334 --> 00:06:59,669 (chuckles) 133 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:00,753 How'd you do that? 134 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,839 Art teachers don't have a desk. 135 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,716 They just throw their purse anywhere. 136 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,262 Voodoo spell, voodoo spell, 137 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:11,848 seagull beak and bone of Mel, 138 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,808 purple heart and tear of chum... 139 00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:14,851 (grunts) 140 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:19,105 Just had to be tear of chum. 141 00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:22,775 Send her home with aching tum! 142 00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:28,030 Oh, right, we need one more thing from her purse. 143 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,615 I've got these. 144 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:33,286 Hmm, she's got tickets to the play God of Carnage. 145 00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:34,745 Orchestra?! 146 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,956 On an art teacher's salary? 147 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,875 That's black magic! 148 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,877 Where's Mrs. Trunch? 149 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,753 I need to know the correct density of "points" 150 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,630 in my pointillism. 151 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,633 Mm, sorry, but I don't think 152 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,303 we'll be seeing much of Trunch today. 153 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,138 Yep, I cast a voodoo spell on her. 154 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,806 I won't bore you with the dark details, 155 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,018 but let's just say she's in no condition for teaching. 156 00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:57,977 (gasps) 157 00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:58,978 (disappointed) Oh... 158 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,855 Class, I have an announcement. 159 00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:03,399 I'm afraid I can't teach today. 160 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,735 -I have a tummy ache. -Mm... 161 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,321 A very special tummy ache. 162 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,407 I'm going to have a baby! 163 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,575 (gasps) 164 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:15,745 Aah! Bart Simpson got a teacher pregnant! 165 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,705 (scoffing) Typical Ralph nonsense. 166 00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:18,748 (Milhouse panting) 167 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,751 Bart Simpson got a teacher pregnant! 168 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:25,755 You happy with your two-timing boyfriend now? 169 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,722 I admit, I did make a voodoo doll of Mrs. Trunch. 170 00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:37,475 But I just asked for a stomachache, not a baby! 171 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:40,520 Classic wish-maker's mistake: vague language. 172 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,188 So I did make her pregnant? 173 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,190 Of course not. Doesn't work that way. 174 00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:46,192 Just how do women get babies? 175 00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:48,528 I'm not allowed to discuss that with fourth-graders. 176 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,530 Fifth grade, you get every dirty detail. 177 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,865 Do you know how embarrassed I was 178 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,117 to get a call at my arraignment 179 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,994 for my behavior during the pub crawl 180 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,496 because of a voodoo curse 181 00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,540 my son placed on his art teacher? 182 00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,500 I didn't mean to make her pregnant. 183 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,210 I just hate art so much. 184 00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:05,586 Oh, everyone does, son. 185 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,630 That's why they lock it up in museums 186 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,298 where no one will ever visit. 187 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,970 So, uh, your boy's got magic knock-up powers, huh? 188 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:15,972 Hey, I created three kids, 189 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:18,057 and no one's making a big deal of that. 190 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,309 Not true! Whenever I compliment your virility, 191 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,477 you act all weird. 192 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,896 And you are very virile. 193 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,606 Uh, yeah. Just talk about sports! 194 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,899 No problem. 195 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,402 Wish I had that Tom Brady's libido. 196 00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,153 (shudders) 197 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,322 Oh, it's amazing how many Cheerios 198 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,658 Maggie drops in the back seat. 199 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,035 Here you go. Put those in the trash, 200 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,454 then you can help me unload the dishwasher. 201 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:43,457 Oh! A minute of fun, a lifetime of work. 202 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,668 I've never heard of a pregnancy like this. 203 00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:46,877 There he is. 204 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,170 Jenny, this is crazy. 205 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,922 Nothing's crazy at this point. 206 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,300 Are you the boy that makes babies? 207 00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:55,511 I like to think I'm the boy that makes families. 208 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,179 You see, Jenny? He's just a jerk kid. 209 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,390 It's just... (sobs) 210 00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:02,018 we've been trying so hard to start a family. 211 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,353 With all the money we've spent on IVF.... 212 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,606 (sobs) You have no idea! 213 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,482 Hmm, maybe I can help. 214 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:09,692 But it'll cost you. 215 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:10,610 How much? 216 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:11,819 Five dollars. 217 00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:13,821 Plus one dollar haw-haw insurance. 218 00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:16,032 Trust me, the insurance is worth it. 219 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,870 By the power of this place, 220 00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,205 make a baby with a face. 221 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,374 That's great, really. Really glad we're getting a baby with a face. 222 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,459 Thank you. 223 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:28,294 {\an8}(tires screech) 224 00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,296 -Haw...! -No haw-haw! 225 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,964 -It worked! -(sad groan) 226 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,382 I'm pregnant! 227 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,968 Look, Bart, I really, I can't believe there's a connection here. 228 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,595 But, uh, we have some friends 229 00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:39,555 who are in the same dark place that we were. 230 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,890 Can we give them your name? 231 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,767 Only if they have five dollars. 232 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:45,478 Yes, right. I'll make sure that they have five dollars. 233 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:46,646 With them. 234 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,064 Look, I'm sorry our check bounced, man. 235 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,982 I can have the bank teller call you. 236 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,902 Just give me the cash and you'll get your driver's license back. 237 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,779 Please keep the chatter down 238 00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:57,740 while the Womb Wizard is casting his spells. 239 00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,159 Ones are appreciated, people. 240 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,747 Barbeque sauce and teddy bear's eye. 241 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:07,416 They want a baby, God knows why. 242 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,796 Homie, I can't find my spatula. 243 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:12,838 Can you get another one? 244 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,591 Flanders, can we borrow your spatula? 245 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:16,967 That was my spatula. 246 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,053 And you never bought a replacement? 247 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,513 Ah, too much aggravation. 248 00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:22,139 We just forego flipped food. 249 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,265 D'oh! 250 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,142 (grunts) 251 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,268 Hmm. 252 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,269 -(humming a tune) -Bart? 253 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,646 Huh? 254 00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:30,189 Why, you little...! 255 00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:32,316 I'll teach you to answer peoples' prayers! 256 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,527 (both grunting) 257 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,948 Yeah, you know, I just don't think 258 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,450 we're going to get in to see him today. 259 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,285 (dog howls) 260 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,579 What is your problem, boy? 261 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,957 Maybe when I've got a dad who shows up in the morning 262 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,459 with no shirt on and rocks on his face, 263 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,962 it sets, I don't know, a low bar? 264 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,880 Wow, I got to take that in. 265 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,382 While I do, have some bar nuts. 266 00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:57,967 Aren't those full of germs? 267 00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,719 Eat the nuts! They're your dinner! 268 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,762 (guns click) 269 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,056 You guys are coming with us. 270 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,727 Not so fast! 271 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:11,439 Nobody comes into my bar and kidnaps two paying customers. 272 00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,482 Aw, thanks, Moe, I... 273 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,692 Huh? 274 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,527 I must've left my wallet at home. 275 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:17,737 All right, take them, take them! 276 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,738 Fill their pockets with corn 277 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,114 and toss them to the pigs. 278 00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:22,658 Don't tell us our business! 279 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,535 (sobs) 280 00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:32,543 Huh? Fat Tony? 281 00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:33,878 That's right... 282 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,130 -Fat Homer. -Hey! 283 00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:38,799 I need your boy to make a baby. 284 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,094 Do you really need the boy's help to make a baby? 285 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,054 Just do a little of the bunga-bunga, 286 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,806 and the hotsie-totsie, 287 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,516 and the bop-bada- bop-bada-bop. 288 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,895 You sound like every doctor I've ever been to. 289 00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:52,354 But it's not for me. 290 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,064 It's for her. 291 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,525 Meet my filly, Cheesesteak. 292 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,444 The love of my life. 293 00:12:58,527 --> 00:12:59,528 (baby-talking, kissing) 294 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,197 Who has apple breath? 295 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,073 You has apple breath. 296 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,158 (kissing, baby-talking) 297 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,578 And this horse, 298 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:09,622 who I have briefly "borrowed," 299 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:12,291 is the winner of last year's Springfield Stakes-- 300 00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:13,918 Rear Admiral. 301 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:17,421 So work your magic, and breed me a champion. 302 00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:18,839 Look, Fat Tony, 303 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,216 I don't know what you know about voodoo, 304 00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,051 but it only works on people. 305 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,135 Horses? 306 00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,345 That's crazy talk! 307 00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:27,181 You will breed me a champion by morning 308 00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:30,601 or it will be the last sunrise you ever see. 309 00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:31,936 Don't over-promise, boss. 310 00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,521 It might be overcast. 311 00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:36,315 How'd you like a cast over your face? 312 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:38,651 Well, as long as there were breath holes. 313 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:41,695 You know, I'm just saying. 314 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:46,075 Okay, boy, if there ever was a good time for you to find out 315 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,786 where babies come from in the grossest way possible, 316 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:51,163 with your life on the line, this is it. 317 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,873 One more thing: 318 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,959 It better be a boy. 319 00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:57,044 (scoffs) Anything else? 320 00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:58,921 It would be helpful if he could go undercover 321 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:01,882 with police horses and find out what they know. 322 00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:10,140 (crickets trilling) 323 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,851 Hey, this is all your fault. 324 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,269 How is it my fault? 325 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,646 I wouldn't be here if you were more of a role model. 326 00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:18,691 Pub crawls, naked Frisbee golf... 327 00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:22,695 I just did that because it was a series of funny words. 328 00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,196 Well, it's your mediocre fathering 329 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,532 that put me on the path to hell! 330 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,784 Wha...? Maybe you're right, boy. 331 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,536 It's time I was a better father. 332 00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:32,663 And I'll start by saving us. 333 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,456 I just need to facilitate 334 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,875 some horse intercourse. 335 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,710 Come on, buddy. 336 00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,628 Just make a champion thoroughbred, 337 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,130 and we're out of here. 338 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,716 (neighs) 339 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:45,634 What's his problem? 340 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,429 ♪ It's raining men ♪ 341 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:51,015 ♪ Hallelujah, it's raining men ♪ 342 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,058 -(neighing) -♪ Amen ♪ 343 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,185 ♪ I'm gonna go out ♪ 344 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,979 ♪ I'm gonna let myself get... ♪ 345 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,355 -(music stops) -Hey, you know? 346 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,900 I don't think this guy likes girls. 347 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,026 (splutters) Big deal. 348 00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:03,569 I don't like girls, either. 349 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:04,904 Not like that. 350 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:05,946 It's like this. 351 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,656 (indistinct whispering) 352 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,533 Smithers... 353 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,619 Mr. Largo... 354 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,287 Danny Kaye. 355 00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,830 What? Everyone knows. 356 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,583 (neighs) 357 00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:19,919 Now, where's she going? 358 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,171 Hey, I know that horse! 359 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,172 It's Sudsley! 360 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,673 Sudsley Brew-Right! 361 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,342 (neighs) 362 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:29,720 That horse was instrumental in me becoming a man. 363 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:35,517 ♪ It feels like the first time ♪ 364 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:39,772 ♪ It feels like the very first time ♪ 365 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:43,484 -(neighing) - ♪ It feels like the first time... ♪ 366 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,324 (neighs) 367 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:57,122 Ew, that tastes horrible! 368 00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,583 Beer transformed that cute little boy 369 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,795 into the man you see before you. 370 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,381 Hmm. 371 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,466 (neighs) 372 00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:09,343 Whoa! They like each other. 373 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:12,554 You know, pregnant is pregnant. 374 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,306 What are you talking about? 375 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:17,434 We're not lost, boy. Not by a long shot. 376 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,479 We just have to set the mood. 377 00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:23,941 (gentle orchestral intro begins) 378 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,737 ♪ Let them play ♪ 379 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,822 ♪ We won't look ♪ 380 00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:32,157 ♪ We'll turn away ♪ 381 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,993 ♪ Go make love ♪ 382 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:38,163 ♪ Then eat some hay ♪ 383 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,457 ♪ We'll be dead ♪ 384 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:44,086 ♪ Shot through the head ♪ 385 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,338 ♪ Be that as it may ♪ 386 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:51,093 ♪ Fat Tony's horse is gay ♪ 387 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,679 ♪ I do not hear no banging ♪ 388 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:57,349 ♪ No sound of horseshoes clanging ♪ 389 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,601 ♪ Roll in hay ♪ 390 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:03,188 ♪ Or tomorrow we will pay ♪ 391 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,982 ♪ I don't care ♪ 392 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:09,737 ♪ About tomorrow ♪ 393 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:15,034 ♪ We need true horse love today ♪ 394 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:20,873 ♪ Here's a blanket they can borrow ♪ 395 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:26,795 ♪ Let them rock the night away ♪ 396 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,506 ♪ I don't really mind at all ♪ 397 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:33,385 ♪ But why must I go muck the stall? ♪ 398 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,638 ♪ Roll in hay ♪ 399 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,224 ♪ Roll in hay... ♪ 400 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:44,188 ♪ Roll in hay! ♪ 401 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,945 (bottle shatters) 402 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,114 (grunts) 403 00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:03,040 (steady banging nearby) 404 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:05,751 Ah, young love. 405 00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:11,006 So, where is the pregnancy test? 406 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,550 Right here. 407 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,639 What does it say? 408 00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,641 The Pimlico plus of joy? 409 00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:23,727 Or the Maryland State Fairgrounds minus? 410 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,774 It's a plus! We're having a baby! 411 00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:30,192 Hey, salute! 412 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,694 I've never seen Johnny Tightlips so happy. 413 00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,616 Simpsons, you're free to go! 414 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:39,451 Louie, drive 'em home. 415 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,203 Cool, another limo ride! 416 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,871 The limo's in the shop. 417 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,206 We have a loaner. 418 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:46,708 BART: Ay, caramba! 419 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,377 You monster! 420 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,212 My knees will be in my throat! 421 00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:53,465 There's another way you can go. 422 00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,218 Dad? 423 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:59,638 {\an8}Cheesesteak, a little advice from a mother of three. 424 00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:03,142 They'll turn out the same whether you gallop or trot. 425 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,977 Teach him not to pee during parades. 426 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:06,478 He'll get more work. 427 00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,022 (neighing) 428 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:14,069 Now that's what I call a modern family. 429 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,405 ♪ Hey, hey! ♪ 430 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:18,407 ♪ Hey, hey! ♪ 431 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,409 ♪ Hey, hey! ♪ 432 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:22,870 ♪ Hey, hey! ♪ 433 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,204 ♪ Hey! ♪ 434 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,041 {\an8}(clamoring) 435 00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:36,008 The prosecution calls Sudsley Brew-Right! 436 00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,677 (gallery murmuring) 437 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,846 Sudsley, on the night in question, 438 00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:43,223 how many did you see the defendant kill? 439 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,101 (knocks seven times) 440 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,769 Seven in one night? 441 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,105 What kind of a monster could do that? 442 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,481 A party monster! 443 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,525 Drinking the new, convenient 444 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:56,028 Duff Seven-Pack! 445 00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:59,031 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 446 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,282 The Duff Seven-Pack-- 447 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,117 one more for the road. 448 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,287 {\an8}There's nothing symmetrical about flavor! 449 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,623 {\an8}So get your seven pack today! 450 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:12,711 {\an8}It looks wrong, but it is oh, so right! Oh, yeah! 451 00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:16,632 {\an8}♪ Oh, yeah... ♪ 452 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,137 -(murmuring) -Shh! 453 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,935 Subtitled by Callan Lent