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CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(school bell ringing)
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(belches)
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ANNOUNCER: And here they are,
the Sofa Speedsters--
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the Simpsons on Brown Lightning!
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The Piggly Wiggums!
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The Bumble Buggy!
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The Greed Hornet!
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Dr. Groom!
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Glasgow-A-Go-Go!
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Hick Dastardly...
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and the Franken-continental!
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Who will be sitting pretty
at the finish line?
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(crashing)
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(engine chugging)
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(cackling)
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Beat ya!
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D'oh!
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Pushy sign! Don't tell me what to try!
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Homer! Dr. Hibbert told you
to eat healthier!
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I don't recall that.
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Well, I do.
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{\an8}-Eat healthier!
-You too, Julius!
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{\an8}I heard you were at Loretta's Diner
on "Catfish Friday"!
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{\an8}How do you know that?
You got your brother following me?
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{\an8}Chester needs a job.
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{\an8}I paid him to build a shed!
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{\an8}Where is my shed, Bernice?
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{\an8}One onion rings, please.
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{\an8}Can I borrow ten bucks
from the cash register?
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{\an8}I've gotta get drunk before a party.
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{\an8}(stressed-out murmuring)
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{\an8}Excuse me. A homeless man
is giving himself a sink bath!
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{\an8}(stressed-out murmuring)
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{\an8}(kids yelling)
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{\an8}Karate class is here and hungry!
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{\an8}You got any scented candles?
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{\an8}(fryer beeping)
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{\an8}(Homer screams)
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{\an8}Ow! This is the worst pain imaginable!
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{\an8}This one's cold.
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{\an8}Mr. Simpson,
your injury was no accidénte,
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{\an8}it was... negligénce.
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{\an8}My burns have affected our...
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{\an8}(whispers) intimacy...
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{\an8}because all night,
I talk about how much money
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{\an8}I'm going to make from the lawsuit.
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{\an8}Money? What I am concerned
about is your burns.
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{\an8}(grunts skeptically)
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{\an8}They have healed much too quickly.
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{\an8}Sit still while I give
your head the "third degree."
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{\an8}(screams) Oh, God!
It hurts worse than the burns!
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{\an8}Yes, these are special acid markers.
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{\an8}Homer Simpson, you shall receive
$5,000 after legal fees.
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{\an8}Pay up, Krusty.
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{\an8}It wasn't even my place!
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{\an8}Man, I got a bad lawyer.
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{\an8}So, uh, what are you gonna do
with the money, Homer?
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{\an8}Well, thought bubble Marge
said we should
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{\an8}put it in a college fund for Lisa.
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{\an8}So where's the money now?
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{\an8}I put it in the bank.
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{\an8}That place is great!
On their wall, they had a photo
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{\an8}with an old couple walking on the beach
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{\an8}with their pants rolled up.
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{\an8}Uh, Homer, we all wanna walk on a beach
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{\an8}with our pants rolled up,
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{\an8}but, uh, banks are not as safe
as they used to be.
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{\an8}Yeah, when you give the bank your money,
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{\an8}they lend it to other people!
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{\an8}I saw a Sesame Street about it!
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{\an8}Kermit was wearing his
trench coat and everything.
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{\an8}Wait, the frog in the trench coat
is Kermit, too?
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{\an8}All the frogs on that show are Kermit.
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Keeps all the other frog actors
out of work.
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That settles it. No banks for me.
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I'll tell you where
you should put your money.
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The one safe place left in this
world of woe:
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What the...?
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I'm not gonna gamble
with my daughter's future.
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Nah, you don't have to bet the money.
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The poker website just keeps it
nice and safe,
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where the FDIC can't get its
grubby little hands on it!
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A poker site is now safer
than an American bank.
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Has our nation-- built on people
suing because their onion rings
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were too hot-- come to this?
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Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Don't you badmouth this country.
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Compared to the rest of
the Third World, we're doin' great!
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{\an8}Open file, click and...
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{\an8}(cash register dings)
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{\an8}...invested!
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Hey, Lisa, check out your college fund!
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You put my college fund on a poker site?!
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It's a classy operation.
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See? The little dealer's
wearing a bow tie-- cute!
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Well, at least I have a college fund!
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On a poker site!
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More importantly, it's a college fund.
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On a poker site!
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Dad, please!
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Sorry. Check out my new T-shirt.
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(sighs)
Where did you get that shirt?
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I've had it for a long time.
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I was just about to throw it out,
and then this happened.
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Mwah!
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(rattling)
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That's one way to avoid drunk driving.
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Another way is don't drink.
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I'm not Superman.
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Homie, do you know what yesterday was?
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Ha! Of course I do!
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Happy anni... birth... entine...
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Shark week?
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Yesterday's the day we were
supposed to visit Grampa!
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What the...?! Stupid calendar.
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First you put the Fourth of July
on Sunday, and now this!
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Oh, we're gonna discuss this later!
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Okay, remember the plan:
Apologize to Grampa.
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Then when he wants us
to take him out to lunch,
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point to the leftovers,
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tell him we already did, but he forgot.
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I still feel guilty.
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Your father's
not going to be around forever.
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Marge, you take that back!
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Fine, he'll be around forever.
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You take that back!
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(sighs)
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(sighs)
We're here to see Abe Simpson.
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Abe Simpson?! Uh, excuse me.
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(curious grunting)
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I'm very sorry to tell you
your father... is missing.
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Missing?! What kind of a prison
are you people running here?
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If it's any consolation,
we'll probably find him
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when the river thaws in the spring.
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A lot of bobbers then.
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There's gotta be a clue
in here somewhere.
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Spats, sock garters,
the world's hardest hard candy...
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Oh, it's hopeless!
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This room is like a museum
of meaningless old crap.
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By which I mean every museum.
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Grampa's army footlocker!
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I bet the most important things
in the world
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to him are in this box!
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So precious...
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Look at that, a man's whole life
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being kicked around on the floor.
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MARGE: "Spiro's...
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The place that changed my life..."
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Flimsy lead, take me away!
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Okay, baby, let's see the flop.
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Damn it! Lost again.
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{\an8}(trilling, blipping)
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(cash register rings)
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(gasps)
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Are you playing poker
with my college fund?
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I'm only down $62.
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Not counting my tips to the waitresses.
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Get your hands off my future!
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Fine, fine.
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New low, even for this family.
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College fund on a poker site.
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I'm just gonna log right out.
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Get outta here!
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Huh. Two queens.
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That's a great start.
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Well, maybe I can just win the $62 back.
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(beeping)
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Four queens! Yes! Yes...!
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Gambling, eh?
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Satan's most potent recruiting tool!
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All due respect, Mr. Flanders,
could I have a little privacy?
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Please?
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Thank you.
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{\an8}(cash register rings, game trills)
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Yeah! $50 up! (laughs)
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Time to play with house money!
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-Or time to walk away from the table.
-Shoo!
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How did he...?
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Can't let Lisa lose her sense of wonder.
(grunts)
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(dogs growling)
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(both whimpering)
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(patrons murmuring, laughing)
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Excuse me, have you seen this man?
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We don't like questions, man.
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Yeah, but I'm just trying
to get information,
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like a nosey reporter
or an undercover cop.
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What'd he say about a cop?
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Or a spy from a rival gang?
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Hey, what are you doing?
(screaming)
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(Homer gibbering)
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Abe Simpson... used to work here.
Put him down!
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Ow!
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(sneezes)
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Welcome to Spiro's! I am Spiro.
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Not the Spiro on the sign.
That's my brother.
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Did you say my dad worked here?
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Yes, in the old days.
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When people ate steak,
drank champagne, and the music...
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oh, the music! I hated the music!
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(swing music playing)
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Hmm...
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00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:10,091
Simpson! I pay you to clean tables,
not to write songs.
203
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:11,592
And you, Marvin Hamlisch,
204
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,553
I pay you to write songs,
not to clean tables!
205
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What can I say? I like to pitch in.
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(Spiro speaking Greek)
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(plays light melody)
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♪ My heart does the two-step ♪
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♪ When you waltz in the place ♪
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HOMER: Wait a minute!
211
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:36,742
My dad was an aspiring
songwriter like Charles Manson?
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00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,369
I never knew that.
213
00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:43,082
You know who would sound good
singing that song?
214
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,500
Me.
215
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,711
Rita Lafleur singing one of my tunes?!
216
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:50,214
Can a 35-year-old busboy's
life get any better?
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♪ My heart does the two-step ♪
218
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♪ When you waltz in the place ♪
219
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♪ Yeah, my ticker beats quicker ♪
220
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,514
♪ When I look at your face ♪
221
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:04,061
♪ Yeah, you'd better call
the doctor before we embrace... ♪
222
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,939
Busboy, that breadbasket
napkin's so opened up,
223
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,482
you can see everything! Disgusting!
224
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:09,734
You're fired!
225
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,068
Hey, you can't do that!
226
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,654
I just turned sweet on him! Yeah!
227
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,323
Be sweet on him in your own sweet time!
228
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:16,907
Why did I ever leave Greece?
229
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,492
Oh, that's right,
'cause it's a train wreck.
230
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,747
I never saw either of them again.
231
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,665
If you find your Dad, tell him sorry
232
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:28,169
from Spiro Papadapaconstanti-
kasgianopolopodopotopolis.
233
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:33,591
Got it. Papadapaconstantikasgianopolop-
odopotopolis.
234
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,009
Now, what was that singer's name again?
235
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:36,260
Rita Lafleur.
236
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,512
Rita La-what?
237
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,848
-Lafleur.
-One more time.
238
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,642
Ugh! I'll write it down for you.
239
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:47,021
Thank you Mr. Papadapaconstanti-
kasgianopolopodopotopolis.
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(gasps) There's exactly one Rita Lafleur
living in Springfield!
241
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,027
That's where we live!
242
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:55,154
Hello? Rita Lafleur?
243
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:57,782
Did you know a man named Abe Simpson?
244
00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:00,201
Know him? I'm married to him.
245
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:01,410
(gasps)
246
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,621
Homer, she's married to your dad!
247
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:06,582
Whoo-hoo! I get two Christmases!
248
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,588
I've read every expert on poker
249
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,423
and watched Jennifer Tilly's DVD.
250
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,883
Start with your Simpsons money,
251
00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:17,635
(high voice) use a little girl voice,
252
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:19,970
and take 'em for everything they've got.
253
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:23,557
Now, I'm needed on the set
of Bride of Chucky V.
254
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,559
Time is money!
255
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,186
Money is money!
256
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:28,646
And money is college,
257
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:31,857
which should lead to more money
someday, but who knows anymore?
258
00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:01,095
-Tim, what are you doing?
-Bible trivia.
259
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:03,514
You've been doing that
an awful lot lately.
260
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:06,350
The Bible is rich with trivia!
261
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:09,770
I can't believe my Dad never
told me he had another wife.
262
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,356
The man I looked up to my whole life.
263
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,191
You never looked up to him.
264
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:16,068
Well, it's a good thing I didn't
265
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,446
because I'd be pretty
devastated right now.
266
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:19,447
(bird caws)
267
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,198
I can't believe you're here.
268
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,242
I'd finally gotten over your father
269
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:26,370
just a week-and-a-half ago,
and then you two show up.
270
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,331
Well, we certainly don't want
to cause you any more pain.
271
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,752
But we need to know everything,
no matter how shameful and fast!
272
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:35,546
I understand, but this is hard.
273
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:36,714
Yeah.
274
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:39,592
Well, just what attracted
you to my father?
275
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:42,261
Beneath his mediocrity there was genius.
276
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,346
Then a layer of anger.
277
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,557
Then a beautiful soul.
278
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,976
Then some more anger!
279
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,020
A lot of layers.
280
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,397
(scat singing)
281
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:59,028
(song ends)
282
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:04,116
(sighs) After we were fired from
Spiro's, we teamed up...
283
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,410
for more than music.
284
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:10,164
Oh, Abe! (moaning)
285
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:11,916
Yeah!
286
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:15,211
MARGE: Mm, that kind of romance
leads to children.
287
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,838
RITA: Faster than you'd think.
288
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:20,007
I was alive when my Dad knew you?
289
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,510
Alive, but very clueless.
290
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:25,763
So this was after Homer's mother left?
291
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:27,890
I love men on the rebound.
292
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,267
They always think they've done
something wrong
293
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,728
and they usually come with furniture.
294
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,105
My Dad had furniture?!
295
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,025
I don't know him at all!
296
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,861
RITA: One day, when we were
walking through Proposal Park,
297
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,197
Abe popped the question.
298
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,366
We got married in the city hall,
299
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:49,203
across from the prettiest
church you ever seen.
300
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,040
Then tragedy struck.
301
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,585
(yelling, screaming)
302
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,213
(screaming continues)
303
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,678
(tires screech, thud)
304
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:08,681
HOMER: Hey, I'm starting to remember
why I don't remember so much.
305
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:11,725
We celebrated in your hospital room.
306
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,562
Our first night together as a family.
307
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:17,439
We didn't know it would be our last.
308
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,275
-(phone rings)
-Hello?
309
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:23,904
Abe! They want to book us
on a European tour!
310
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:27,199
That's fine, doll. Real fine.
Why, we'll...
311
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,743
(electricity crackling, Homer yelling)
312
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,412
(electrical buzzing)
313
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:41,463
You know, Europe's no place
for a six-year-old.
314
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:45,050
He can handle 110 volt,
but 220 would kill him.
315
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,554
But making music is my dream, Abe.
316
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,055
Our dream.
317
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,891
I know, Sugar Tomato,
318
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,518
but I'm all the family this boy's got.
319
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,395
If I don't take care of him now,
320
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:58,355
he'll forget the day
he's supposed to come
321
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,357
and see me when I'm old.
322
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,490
Are you okay, Daddy?
323
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:11,911
Well, of course I'm okay! I'm with you!
324
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,871
Good-bye, Rita.
325
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:17,249
This is why "life" comes before
"love" in the dictionary.
326
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,751
(sniffles)
327
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,377
Aw, thanks, son.
328
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:23,422
Now to make sure neither of us
ever remember this.
329
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:33,599
(sniffling) Oh, my God.
330
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:36,518
I never knew the sacrifices
my father made.
331
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,187
Move over, Fonzie.
332
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,606
I've got a new hero.
333
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:42,608
I never saw Abe again.
334
00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,610
But I thought you still loved him.
335
00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:46,695
Life isn't all major chords.
336
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,949
Sometimes you gotta hit the minor keys.
337
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,283
What does that mean?
338
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,494
I got super-addicted to heroin.
339
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:55,704
(sighing)
340
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,874
(snoring) Yeah.
341
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,960
Okay, education paid for,
342
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,379
with a gap year to find myself.
343
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,255
Every nerve in my body is screaming
344
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:08,717
"Cash out now," and yet... (giggles)
345
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,552
I've got a pair of aces!
346
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,930
Ha! Full house!
347
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,598
Aces over threes!
348
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:17,685
Take that, Rich Texan 001,
349
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:20,104
and Sideshow Bob @
Springfield Penitentiary-- Hah!
350
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,438
I'm going all in!
351
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,068
Aw, doggone it!
352
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:27,903
I give up!
353
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,030
It's like Kenny Rogers' most famous line:
354
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,741
"This is a bad piece of chicken."
355
00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:38,747
He didn't fold?
356
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,124
But that's insane unless he has...
357
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,919
(gasps)
358
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,295
Four threes?!
359
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,755
Oh, no!
360
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,507
No-no-no-no-no, no!
361
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:49,883
(trilling)
362
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,176
(cash register dings)
363
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:56,015
(buzzing)
364
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:58,767
I can't breathe. (gasping)
365
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,729
I've lost, I've lost everything.
366
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,897
(sobbing, muttering)
367
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,484
We can all hear you.
368
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:08,819
Please log off.
369
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,743
(sobbing)
370
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,579
Aw, come on, Lis.
No gambling story has a happy ending
371
00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:19,663
except Seabiscuit.
372
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:21,331
But you never hear about the ruined lives
373
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,833
of the people who bet against him.
374
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,793
(sobbing) Oh, God...
375
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,962
This is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me!
376
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,214
I was Ivy! Strong Ivy!
377
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,591
(sobs)
378
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:33,886
Oh, man, this is priceless,
but I can't keep it up.
379
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:36,013
You've still got a college fund.
380
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,182
What are you talking about?
381
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:39,683
I'm Sideshow Bob!
382
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,729
I've been using his avatar to play poker
383
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:45,939
and trash his favorite
restaurants on Yelp.
384
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,108
And I saved your vegetarian bacon.
385
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,527
Oh, my God! You won the pot?
386
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,780
You must have nearly a million dollars!
387
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,823
I can go to college
and live like a Kennedy!
388
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,659
Listen, after I won,
the website found out
389
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,788
we were both under 18, so we're back
to the original $5,000.
390
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,623
Shame! Shame!
391
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:05,125
Did you give the money back
to the people who lost it?
392
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,710
Good-bye.
393
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:10,172
Well, back to square one
is a major victory
394
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:12,716
in this house,
but why did you help me?
395
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:15,886
Come on! Tell me!
396
00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:18,889
Because I actually like you
and felt sorry for you.
397
00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:20,974
What?! You did?
398
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,810
Forget I said anything!
399
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:26,188
{\an8}Sure.
I have the ending for my memoir!
400
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,774
I'm sorry I couldn't
help you find your father.
401
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:33,946
If you find him,
tell him I can still do this. Yeah.
402
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:36,156
Holy moley.
403
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,076
And tell him to put on a splash of this.
404
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,912
That's Dad's cologne?
405
00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:45,165
I always thought
it was his old-man stink.
406
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:48,752
When I knew him, it was young-man musk.
407
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,672
Man, you're making me hot for my Dad.
408
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:57,010
Only place in town
that still sells Chicory Mist.
409
00:18:57,094 --> 00:19:01,932
After people found out it's 98% squirrel
sweat, they sorta stopped buying.
410
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,935
-Listen, do you know this man?
-Let me ask around.
411
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:06,937
Abe, you seen this guy?
412
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,689
Oh, I know him.
413
00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:11,024
He's a man who has no son!
414
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,776
Dad!
415
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:16,280
Abe, we were so worried!
416
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:18,323
Dad, promise me you'll never wander off
417
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,034
and make us explore your
fascinating past again.
418
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:25,539
I didn't wander off, ya big fat salami!
I ran away!
419
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:28,125
-What?!
-You think I'm boring,
420
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:31,044
and you never visit me,
and I got sick of waitin' for ya!
421
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,755
So I got a job and found
a new dump to live in
422
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,632
and I didn't tell you about it,
423
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,385
so at least that way I know
you're not coming!
424
00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:41,972
Grampa, we will never miss a visit again.
425
00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,308
And there'll be a lot more of them.
426
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:46,768
And I don't think you're boring.
427
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:50,022
It's just that in today's
multichannel environment,
428
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,566
you have too many great choices.
Look at Sunday night.
429
00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:54,693
There's, like, eight amazing shows.
430
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,361
None of them on Fox.
431
00:19:56,445 --> 00:20:00,199
Well... when you put it
that way, all right.
432
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:04,620
I can't say all is forgiven,
but most is forgotten.
433
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,747
Aw...
434
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:11,752
(sighs)
435
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:14,296
I guess my honky-tonkin' days are over.
436
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,757
-(melody playing on piano in distance)
-What the...?!
437
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,593
Someone's playin' my tune!
438
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:24,014
Don't take Grampa's meds.
439
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,724
I'm payin' for 'em.
440
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:29,228
(piano playing)
441
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:36,068
Hey, Abe. Good to see you again.
442
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:37,569
Rita!
443
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,404
You look dynamite!
444
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,782
And you look like you could
use a good ironing,
445
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:43,242
but I still love you.
446
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,285
Take a seat. Yeah.
447
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:51,833
{\an8}♪ My heart does the two-step
when you waltz in the place ♪
448
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:55,504
{\an8}♪ Yeah, my ticker beats quicker
when I look at your face ♪
449
00:20:55,587 --> 00:21:00,342
{\an8}♪ Yeah, you'd better call
the doctor before we embrace ♪
450
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,095
{\an8}-(both snore)
-Yeah...
451
00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:05,973
{\an8}That's how wolves die in the wild.
452
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:13,063
{\an8}♪ I get a jonesing in my bones
when you strut across the room ♪
453
00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:16,942
{\an8}♪ Yeah, my liver starts to quiver,
my intestines go boom ♪
454
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:21,113
{\an8}♪ But tell the undertaker
I ain't ready for no tomb ♪
455
00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:28,412
{\an8}♪ You're the penny in my loafers,
the egg in my cream ♪
456
00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:32,457
{\an8}♪ Yeah, you knock me out,
then you're the girl of my dreams ♪
457
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:34,167
Yeah!
458
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:39,548
{\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay