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-CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
-(quacking)
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(grunting)
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(angry grunt)
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{\an8}NARRATOR: See that town?
Goes by the name of Springfield.
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{\an8}Birthplace of the brass knuckle,
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{\an8}the Nigerian Prince scam,
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{\an8}and putting a tomato on
your grilled cheese sandwich.
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{\an8}(humming)
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{\an8}Our story begins not long ago...
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{\an8}on what seemed
like a typical day.
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{\an8}Ralphie, please.
That's not for people, son.
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{\an8}(barking)
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{\an8}Aw, he's a dumb kid,
but he's an above-average dog.
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{\an8}Roll over, son.
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{\an8}Yay! Aw, nobody saw.
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{\an8}NARRATOR: But little did they know,
a change was coming.
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{\an8}First, the creatures
of the Earth sensed it,
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{\an8}then the fish of the deep.
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{\an8}Then the Mormons
got a heads-up.
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{\an8}And then everybody else.
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{\an8}Strange doin's, Mother.
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{\an8}Horses are spooked,
cows ain't milkin',
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{\an8}and look what
the chickens laid.
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{\an8}WOMAN: Sparkle eggs?!
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{\an8}-(wind whistles)
-Storm's a-comin'.
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{\an8}Ain't no storm, Pa.
It's The Lady Gaga Express!
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{\an8}(Lady Gaga's Poker Face plays)
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{\an8}PISTONS:
She's-a-star! She's-a-star!
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{\an8}She's-a-star! She's-a-star!
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{\an8}Presenting
the Queen of the Hottieverse,
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{\an8}appearing courtesy
of Interscope Records,
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{\an8}Lady Gaga!
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{\an8}At ease.
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{\an8}Conductor, you know the rules.
Take off some clothes.
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{\an8}Oh, uh, yes, ma'am.
Sorry, ma'am.
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{\an8}Now, what's our status?
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{\an8}We are about to pass through...
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{\an8}-uh, Springfield.
-Springfield?
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{\an8}What's their deal?
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{\an8}Hm, let's see, quiet suburb...
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{\an8}home of the Tomb
of the Unknown Mascot...
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{\an8}has the lowest self-esteem
of any place on the planet.
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{\an8}Really?
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{\an8}Aw... That's so sad.
And as entertainers,
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{\an8}it is our solemn duty to cheer
them up for a little while.
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{\an8}Gaga, it's my job
to keep you away from
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{\an8}ugly bumps on the map
like Springfield.
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{\an8}Don't worry, we'll get you
right on a plane.
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{\an8}No! Don't you remember
what happened at LaGuardia?
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{\an8}Ready.
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{\an8}Yeah, well, uh,
you missed your flight.
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{\an8}Then we'll party
on the boarding ramp!
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{\an8}(party music playing)
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{\an8}Wait! I quit!
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{\an8}We spend 90 minutes
training 'em and off they go.
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{\an8}I just can't ignore
a billboard in pain.
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{\an8}-We're stopping in Springfield!
-But...
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{\an8}No buts!
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{\an8}NARRATOR:
Well, Lady Gaga couldn't arrive
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{\an8}soon enough
for one Lisa Simpson.
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{\an8}Now let's turn
to the ever-unpopular
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{\an8}"Popularity Awards," the awards
voted by students,
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{\an8}in judgment of their peers.
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{\an8}No way that can go wrong.
First up, Campus Clown.
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{\an8}(laughing)
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{\an8}Bart Simpson.
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{\an8}(Simpsons theme plays)
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{\an8}That's my brother.
(chuckles)
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{\an8}Four years out of four.
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{\an8}(camera shutter clicks)
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{\an8}Prank you!
Prank you very much!
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{\an8}(pops)
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{\an8}-(growls)
-(audience laughs)
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{\an8}BART: Call back.
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{\an8}I fail to see
the honor in this.
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{\an8}Aren't awards shows
rather silly?
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{\an8}What?! Without awards shows,
how would I know what movie
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{\an8}has the best beheading,
or that Glee is a comedy?
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And now the award
for Least Popular Student.
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-Lisa Simpson!
-What?
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Least Popular?
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(sobbing)
I gotta go.
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You probably should
accept it, Lisa.
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They'll go easier on you
if you do.
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(sobbing)
Um...
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Thank you for noticing me.
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(all laughing)
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She actually accepted it!
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You said they'd
take it easy on me.
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I know very little
about children.
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We've got to cheer up
a whole town.
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Where's the dress I wore
when I met the Pope?
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It's nice, but I saw
Jennifer Lopez wearing it.
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Burn it. Burn it now.
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MAN: Help! Help!
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I've been on here
since Chicago!
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I just want my life back!
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-No negativity!
-Oh, you're right.
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I'm missing a terrible winter!
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And that's how Berber carpet
got its name according to some.
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Lisa, how was your day?
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Um, can I be excused
from holding up
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my end of the conversation?
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What's wrong with her?
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She just found out
no one likes her.
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(loud whisper)
I thought she knew.
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Hey, Lisa, maybe you'd
feel a little better
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if you read the Daily Fourth Gradian
Message Board, huh?
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Let's see.
"Uncensored Jump-rope Chants."
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Oh, there's a whole thread
labeled "Lisa Simpson"!
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(muttering)
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-Wha...?
-Ay carumba.
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Somebody's actually
on your side!
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"Lisa doesn't judge
other people.
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Why should we judge her?"
It's signed, "Truth Teller."
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Whoever this "Truth Teller" is,
I'm a fan.
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It takes a lot of courage
to post nice things anonymously.
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You know, it seems like
more than a coincidence
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that Milhouse brought it
to our attention. Hm?
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(chuckles) Well, I certainly
wish I was Truth Teller.
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But if I was, you'd know,
because I can't keep a secret.
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I sleep under my bed every night
'cause I'm scared
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of the cars from Cars.
If gasoline is their food,
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then why do they have teeth?!
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So, Lisa, I guess you're not
as unpopular as we thought.
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Yep. Message boards
are never wrong.
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Well, um, maybe we should
skip rope together.
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-Dutch?
-BOTH: Double Dutch.
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(gasps)
Forgive a fool her tears.
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Hey, Lis, some
fifth graders are having
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a make-your-own pizza party
at Flesh-In-The-Pan Pizza,
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and wanted me to invite you.
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Fifth graders?
Ooh-la-la!
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They get to put their desks
in a circle!
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And read books where
the parents are divorced.
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That joint is jumpin'.
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So, when's the party?
(gasps)
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"Lisa rocks, and so does
her rock collection." Huh?
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(gasps)
That's mine!
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This notebook is full of things
Truth Teller said.
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-Give that back!
-This one says "post next Friday."
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(gasps)
Oh, my God!
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You're Truth Teller!
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(kids gasp)
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Lisa, what you did
is like my mom
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sticking ten bucks
in her own G-string.
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Truth Teller?
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More like Lie Smeller!
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(chanting)
Lie Smeller! Lie Smeller!
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Oh, great, it stuck!
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(sobbing)
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♪♪
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Take five.
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(soda can tabs pop)
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Hey, easy on the soda.
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I don't want gassy demons
like last night.
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Jerry.
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(moans)
Wait a minute...
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No! No, no!
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(moans)
Brrr... Make it stop!
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Oh!
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♪ Oh... ♪
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Someone in Springfield
needs my help.
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Light up the after-bras.
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That's it,
I am off of this stuff.
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Me, too, sweetheart.
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-Kids?
-Yes, Mama.
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No exceptions!
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Kent Brockman reporting live
from the Springfield rail yards,
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where Lady Gaga's
fabulous freighter
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has bumped and grinded
its way into town.
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Suffice it to say,
this is the most
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culturally significant train
to stop here since
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the McKinley funeral cortege
paused to pick up casket ice.
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Now, sweetie, don't make
a big deal out of this.
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I stopped reading
after "Top Student."
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Want to honk your jazz tube?
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Oh, what is the point?
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I think this is the end of me.
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All I had was my integrity.
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And now that's gone.
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(sobbing)
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
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I try not to cry
till you're asleep.
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-I appreciate that.
-(groans)
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(sobbing) Look, if I could
just spend a few days
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in my room without anyone
trying to cheer me up,
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I think I might
have a chance to...
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Hey, why don't we
go see Lady Gaga?
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That'll turn your
frown upside down.
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It's not a frown.
It is a straight line of resignation.
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Looks just the same
upside down.
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What are you talking about?
Y-You're right!
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Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop!
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Dad, if you really want to help,
please stop trying to help.
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I will, but you know me
and my crazy number thing
196
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where I always have
to get to 17.
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00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:05,670
Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop!
Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop!
198
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:07,171
Voop! Voop! Voop!
Whoops, I lost count.
199
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,632
Better start again.
Voop! Voop! Voop! Voop!
200
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,092
(sighs)
201
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:17,098
CROWD: Gaga-oo-la-la.
Gaga-ra-ma-ma.
202
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,849
Come on, Lisa, come on.
203
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,310
I'm sorry, I don't really
want to be here.
204
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Claws up, Springfield!
205
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Never forget,
you're all my Little Monsters!
206
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Uh, actually,
I'm half monster, half Armenian.
207
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,156
Pick your poison.
208
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,950
And you should love
yourself as much
209
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as I love you, because...
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-Tell us in song.
-♪ Because... ♪
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With theatricality.
Come on, I woke up for this.
212
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:45,084
♪♪
213
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:46,919
CROWD: Four!
214
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,838
Three!
Two!
215
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,256
Where are they going with this?
216
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:51,591
CROWD: One!
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(gasps)
218
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:02,518
(sighs)
219
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,353
Ah!
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00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,688
♪ When they're young ♪
221
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:11,944
♪ All little monsters learn
that they are scary ♪
222
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♪ Ugly, stupid, shunned
by cupid ♪
223
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♪ Overweight and hairy ♪
224
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:26,959
♪ But every monster needs
to find that secret deep inside ♪
225
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:30,463
♪ That transforms Dr. Jekyll ♪
226
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:35,426
♪ Into sexy Mr. Hyde ♪
227
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:44,018
♪ All my monsters are beautiful ♪
228
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♪ Disco Stu-tiful ♪
229
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:48,022
♪ Square root-iful... ♪
230
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♪ Old coot-iful ♪
231
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I love you, Lady Zsa Zsa!
232
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:55,279
♪ Monsters don't need implants
or a bitchin' monster car ♪
233
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:59,950
♪ Monsters only need to love
the monsters that they are ♪
234
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♪ Oh, yeah ♪
235
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,580
♪ Gaga, dada ♪
236
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,041
♪ Jawa, peace! ♪
237
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,376
(crowd cheers)
238
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,252
-Ew.
-Whoo-hoo! Whoo!
239
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,253
Whoo! Whoo!
(whistles)
240
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,880
BART: All right!
241
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,092
Lie Smeller!
Lie Smeller!
242
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,511
(sobbing)
243
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,596
Does everybody love themselves?
244
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,973
(crowd cheers)
245
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,935
That kind of thing sounds
hollow from anyone but you!
246
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:30,356
Now, we have to get going.
247
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:32,775
Wait a minute. No.
248
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,485
No, no! (moans)
249
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,195
(sings powerful melody)
250
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,867
GAGA: You!
251
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,202
What's wrong, honey?
252
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:46,956
Please, I've had enough
attention for one day!
253
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:50,793
Yo, lighting! I can't see the girl
who's had enough attention.
254
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:55,715
We should go
to your house and talk.
255
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,466
Incognito!
256
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,926
Oh, God.
257
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,972
Psst! It's me, Gaga.
258
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,640
But no one must know.
259
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,642
HOODIE VOICE CHIP:
Gaga. Gaga. Gaga.
260
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:11,397
So peaceful. Just the buzzing
of the paparazzi.
261
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,232
(cameras snapping)
262
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,984
Hey, Gary.
How's your wife and kids?
263
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,403
Still ashamed of me.
Big smile!
264
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:19,155
This is where I live.
265
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,240
Well, hello.
266
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:23,701
It's one of those
music industry superstars
267
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:26,078
who's turning our innocent children
into ladies of the night.
268
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,247
What sweater drawer
did you crawl out of?
269
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:31,083
(chuckles) Name's Ned Flanders.
I've heard of you.
270
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,253
Haven't seen so much skin since
shedding season on a snake farm.
271
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:36,922
But all I'm saying
is that everyone is beautiful...
272
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,550
Yes, but Jesus said that...
273
00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:41,177
pretty much the same thing.
274
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,512
Darn it, the Bible said
the Devil would be attractive.
275
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,639
What makes you think
I'm the Devil?
276
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,353
Unless you're gonna slap some
wieners on those, turn 'em off.
277
00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:54,273
Joke's on you; I needed a trim.
278
00:12:56,609 --> 00:13:00,446
(Gaga groaning)
279
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,158
Bastards!
280
00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:06,577
Lisa, look at me.
281
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:09,747
So what if your number one
supporter is you.
282
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,499
That's how it should be.
283
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,584
I had some
very tough times myself
284
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,420
before I became
a superstar at age 22.
285
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:19,548
Everything is gonna be fine.
You better yet?
286
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,802
-(phone chimes)
-Sorry, gotta answer this text.
287
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,345
Please, take your time.
288
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,515
You know what you need?
289
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:30,100
-Solitude?
-Flash mob!
290
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:36,524
Now, Lisa, if that didn't
fundamentally change
291
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,651
who you are,
I don't know what.
292
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,701
You idiots!
She meant we should disperse.
293
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:54,083
Lisa, you un-tattooed
little miracle,
294
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:58,254
I'm not leaving here until
I restore your sense of hope.
295
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:02,508
Let me explain. I have a chance
for a grim but tolerable life,
296
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,218
but only if I give up hope.
297
00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:07,596
Now if you don't mind,
and with all due worship,
298
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,265
I would like to be alone.
299
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:13,102
Lady Gaga, meet your biggest
threat: Baby Googoo.
300
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:16,981
Can I please be alone?
301
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,494
Well, it worked once.
302
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,753
-So, any ideas about Lisa?
-(sighs)
303
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,882
I never have any idea
what to do for Lisa.
304
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:45,718
To be the mother of someone
who's so smart
305
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:49,763
and so sensitive and who
beautifully plays an instrument
306
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,391
(whispers)
I don't really care for,
307
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:54,810
(sobbing)
it's so hard.
308
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,313
I wish I was one of those
309
00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,481
young women who could
just wave their hands
310
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,483
in front
of their eyes and not cry,
311
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,736
because it doesn't
work for me.
312
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:04,987
-(yells)
-Marge...
313
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,322
-(yells)
-Ah...
314
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,073
-Ooh! Aah! Ooh!
-Marge. Marge.
315
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,074
-Marge.
-Hm...
316
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,201
-Marge, take it easy.
-(groans)
317
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,828
It's just human contact.
318
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:16,457
I'm afraid handholding
isn't going to cheer me up.
319
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,709
Well, maybe this will.
320
00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:23,339
Homer!
321
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:24,840
Wow. Wow.
322
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:28,510
This is like the night Hillary
won the New Hampshire Primary.
323
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:33,098
Lisa snuck out.
324
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,725
I'm going after her.
(Homer grunting)
325
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:37,519
-What are you gonna say?
-HOMER: Whoo! Mm.
326
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,688
I'll just tell her that...
327
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:40,856
Stop it, Homer!
328
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,609
Some of that meat is me.
Can I just trim the hem?
329
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:45,361
(groans) It's yours.
330
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,200
Oh, good. She's playing.
331
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:54,370
Not so good.
It's "Lisa Roulette."
332
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,372
(kids shouting)
Don't let her get you!
333
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,959
Her eyes shoot loser lasers!
334
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,710
(feigns gasping)
335
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:05,965
(chanting)
There is no over-the-top.
336
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,591
There is no over-the-top.
337
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:08,884
Run!
338
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:13,263
With an egg that big, there's
gotta be an even bigger chicken!
339
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:16,850
Lisa?
340
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,687
Lisa, listen to me.
341
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,898
This pity party's being shut
down by the smile police.
342
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,692
Here's what you're gonna do.
343
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,735
Why do you keep telling me
what I'm gonna do?
344
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,529
This isn't about me.
345
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:31,198
-Well, who else would it be about?
-You!
346
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:34,743
It's about
"Hello, hello, Springfield."
347
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,620
"It's me, Gaga!"
348
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,790
"Why is everyone looking
at my purple hair
349
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,542
full of bluebirds?"
350
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,295
-Well, I denounce thee!
-Wha...?
351
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,590
I denounce thee for giving people
ambitions they cannot fulfill.
352
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,426
And I denounce thee
for positing a world
353
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,887
where social acceptance
and walking on heels are easy!
354
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,473
Please, may we kill the kid?
355
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,767
I denounce thee!
I denounce thee!
356
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,269
I denounce thee!
357
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,938
Whoa, easy, little monster.
358
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,441
Don't "monster" me.
359
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:06,358
(all gasp)
360
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,736
Whatever you say.
361
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,112
(sobbing)
362
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:14,616
Are you crying... glitter?
363
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,076
Tiny diamonds.
(sobs)
364
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,953
Hurts like hell.
365
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,582
(chanting)
Gaga, Gaga, Gaga, Gaga...
366
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:29,006
HOMER: Okay Lisa, coming up
to make things better!
367
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:31,967
(grunting)
Okay, I'm almost there.
368
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,969
Upward, ever upward.
369
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,846
(panting)
Stay hydrated...
370
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:38,015
Oh, I'm on the wrong tree!
371
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,142
(grunts)
Okay, try again.
372
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,852
Here we go. Up again.
373
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:44,980
(grunting and panting)
Oh... Lisa, can you come down?
374
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,610
Sweetie, I've been thinking.
375
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:52,112
Now, this all started
because you used a fake name
376
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:54,364
to defend yourself.
377
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:57,117
The problem's not
that you were cheating.
378
00:17:58,118 --> 00:18:00,412
It's that you got caught.
379
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:05,000
I cheat on my diet,
but nobody knows
380
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,377
'cause the damage
is on the inside,
381
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:10,047
and the first warning sign
is sudden death.
382
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,882
So, honey, what do you say?
383
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,884
Dad, thank you!
384
00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:16,303
Like always, the fact
that I could tune you out
385
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,514
without fearing I'd miss out
on something
386
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,974
gave me the time
to take stock and realize
387
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,893
how ungrateful I have been.
388
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:25,938
Which means,
I've got a train to catch.
389
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,273
(chuckling)
Parenting.
390
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:32,402
It's the one job you know
you're always doing right.
391
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:36,323
So long, Springfield.
You are my Waterloo.
392
00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:38,075
(crowd cheers)
393
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:41,745
And now I'm just going to lie
in bed and eat Fruit Roll-Ups.
394
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,414
Why is she doing in defeat
what I do in victory?
395
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:45,833
(whistle blowing)
396
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,335
(chugging)
397
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:50,254
Gaga!
398
00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:51,255
Lisa?
399
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:52,589
Why are you here?
400
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,842
-To thank you.
-For what?
401
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,718
Look at me!
You did help me
402
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,263
by allowing me
to inappropriately focus
403
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:02,099
eight years of rage
and rejection on you.
404
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,268
It was like a great sneeze.
405
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,353
And now I can say
what's good about me.
406
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:08,730
And I can say it
as Lisa Simpson!
407
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,858
-(gently) Just not that loud.
-Go ahead.
408
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,861
Well, I am smart,
nice, tolerant, funny
409
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,196
but not "mean funny,"
and I never forget a birthday,
410
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,906
even for kids who move away.
411
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,700
Now, Lisa,
there's only one last thing
412
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,827
you have to do
to be a Little Monster.
413
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:24,163
I'll do anything but sing.
414
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:27,166
You are gonna sing!
415
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,458
♪♪
416
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,799
♪ I used to think
that I was stupid ♪
417
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,676
♪ Worthless, weak and wrong ♪
418
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:41,013
♪ A mockingbird
without a song ♪
419
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,933
♪ I was small inside
and lacking pride ♪
420
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,853
♪ On a one-way train
to be Milhouse's bride ♪
421
00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:50,939
End the song!
End it right here!
422
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,108
♪ I love NPR and Jazz guitar ♪
423
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,027
♪ Someday I'll design
a solar car ♪
424
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:58,572
♪ That's right,
I'm Lisa Simpson, superstar! ♪
425
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:01,200
♪ You've got a great big heart ♪
426
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:04,703
♪ It's at the top of my chart ♪
427
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:08,582
BOTH:
♪ Lisa Simpson, Lisa Simpson ♪
428
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:11,501
♪ Lisa Simpson Superstar ♪
429
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:16,298
♪ Lisa Simpson, Lisa Simpson ♪
430
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:19,051
♪ Lisa Simpson Superstar ♪
431
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:21,637
♪ You're a superstar ♪
432
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,139
Wait, wait! Wait...!
433
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,474
(brakes screeching)
434
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:26,892
(crowd gasps)
435
00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:28,727
Can you help me
with my self-esteem?
436
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:29,895
I'm not that good.
437
00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:31,063
Right, gotcha.
438
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:32,231
(train horn blades)
439
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:36,485
LISA: And the best thing is,
(giggles)
440
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:39,863
even if they weren't waving,
it would be okay.
441
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,907
NARRATOR:
I bet a lot of folks are wondering,
442
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,158
did this story really happen?
443
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,868
Well, it did.
444
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,496
And I know because
I was one of Gaga's dancers.
445
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,873
The one with
the spangliest crotch.
446
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,042
(yelling)
447
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:54,002
Higher!
448
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,255
(laughing)
449
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,804
{\an8}HOMER:
♪ I love my Homer face ♪
450
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:05,389
{\an8}♪ Yeah, that's what I said ♪
451
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:08,892
{\an8}♪ Right where it should be
on the front of my head ♪
452
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:12,896
{\an8}♪ Stubble, muzzle, overbite,
two eyes that really bug ♪
453
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:17,484
{\an8}♪ These are the components
of my Homer-riffic mug ♪
454
00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:21,488
{\an8}♪ D'oh, oh, d'oh, oh ♪
455
00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:25,659
{\an8}♪ I shave it close,
trim hairs from my nose ♪
456
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:30,163
{\an8}♪ D'oh, oh, d'oh, oh ♪
457
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:34,167
{\an8}♪ I clean my ears,
'cause that's how I hears ♪
458
00:21:34,251 --> 00:21:36,420
{\an8}♪ I like my, I like my ♪
459
00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:39,548
{\an8}♪ I really like my Homer face ♪
460
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,635
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!
461
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:49,975
{\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay