1
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:03,795
CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:05,839
OTTO:
Whoa, trippy.
3
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:12,554
(exclaiming)
4
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,977
(school bell ringing)
5
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:22,022
(tires screech)
6
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D'oh!
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00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,859
(grunts)
8
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:28,570
♪♪
9
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(grunts)
10
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,835
(laughter)
11
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,089
(shrieks)
12
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,259
Hey, shut up!
13
00:00:58,266 --> 00:00:59,476
(grunts)
14
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,152
(knocking)
15
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(cooing)
Dada.
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Okay, what's an appropriate
movie for you boys?
17
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:01,037
No. No.
Ooh, here's one!
18
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,289
Happy Little Elves Two:
The Sequelf.
19
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:06,084
-Two kids.
-That movie's for babies.
20
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,962
Eh, watch whatever you want;
I got you here alive.
21
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:11,297
(chuckles)
Now I'm gonna visit
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00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,300
the only court I could never
be in contempt of: food court!
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(laughs)
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00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,265
{\an8}Now, to save on calories,
25
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:22,767
{\an8}I won't eat the paper
in the fortune cookie.
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{\an8}(humming)
27
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:30,191
{\an8}(wheezing)
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00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,904
{\an8}(panting heavily)
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{\an8}Sir, I can't help but noticing
that you are very near death.
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{\an8}Closer than you think.
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{\an8}(humming)
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{\an8}(grunting)
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{\an8}Ow!
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{\an8}Homer--
Can I call you Homer?
35
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,047
{\an8}Sure. What's your name?
36
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,674
{\an8}Well, I'm not required
to tell you that.
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{\an8}Homer, how long
do you want to live?
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{\an8}Long enough that me and Marge
can be one of those couples
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00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:03,433
{\an8}who just sit and hold hands.
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00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:06,978
{\an8}I heard
Lenny had a terrible fall.
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00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,771
{\an8}You know who else fell?
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{\an8}Dr. Hibbert.
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00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:13,234
{\an8}Yeah, falls'll getcha.
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00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:16,738
{\an8}Well, I want to help you
make it to that glorious day.
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{\an8}For money.
This is the Butt-Whisperer 9000.
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00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,743
{\an8}-Cushioned track...
-Ooh!
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00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,244
{\an8}-hydration dock...
-Got to have that.
48
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:24,746
{\an8}-built-in HDTV...
-Loving it.
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00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,331
{\an8}-dog-walk side path...
-A must.
50
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:28,499
{\an8}-liability opt-out button...
-Keep 'em coming.
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00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,168
{\an8}and drill sergeant mode.
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{\an8}-(beep)
-Run, you maggot!
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00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,588
{\an8}Faster, you tub of lard!
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00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:37,091
{\an8}(gasps) It's programmed
to my specifications!
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00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,928
{\an8}Oh, but I can't afford this.
56
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:42,388
{\an8}Homer, you can't
afford $300 a month?
57
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,514
{\an8}No.
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00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,600
{\an8}Well, what about
ten dollars a day?
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{\an8}Easy!
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00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:50,355
{\an8}How was Crappy Little Elves?
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00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:54,150
{\an8}My friend and I only see it
to rank on it.
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00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,986
{\an8}Get that stuff off!
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{\an8}Take a picture first.
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{\an8}Now!
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{\an8}(laughter)
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00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,075
{\an8}We're gonna be checking out
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00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:06,246
{\an8}a delightful Hong Kong horror
remake known as Crawlspace,
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00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,790
{\an8}based on Paxing Kongjian.
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00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:10,750
{\an8}Well, count me out, Jimbo.
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00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,919
{\an8}I don't need to hear
how every chick in the movie
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00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:14,921
{\an8}got what was
coming to them.
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00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:16,422
{\an8}Shauna, food for thought:
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00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:19,384
{\an8}if we don't watch movies
about torture in crawl spaces,
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00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,219
{\an8}how will we know what to do
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00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:23,930
{\an8}if someone puts us
in a torture crawl space?
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00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:26,057
{\an8}Not if, when.
77
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,893
{\an8}Nah, I'm gonna go see one
of those Jennifer Aniston movies
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00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,895
{\an8}where she rolls her eyes
on the poster.
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00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,480
{\an8}Mm.
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00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:36,192
{\an8}Babe, you know I don't want you
watching a movie by yourself.
81
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,027
{\an8}You're a total perv magnet.
82
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,070
Aw!
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00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:41,030
So, I'll find
someone to take you.
84
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,075
Someone unthreatening.
85
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,412
Hey, you know our deal:
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00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,706
chaperones cannot be humiliating.
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00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,332
She's got you there.
88
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,459
-How 'bout this one?
-Simpson?
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00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,711
Let's see.
90
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,212
No starter stache,
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00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,630
temp tat,
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00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:02,593
still has baby teeth
at nine and 24.
93
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,345
Total pre-puber.
94
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,639
Now, you stay close
to my Shauna.
95
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,642
If someone so much as
peels a ladybug decal
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00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:13,104
off her fake fingernails,
I'm blaming you!
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00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:14,814
Come on, come on.
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00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:17,650
The best murder's
always first.
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00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:18,901
(dramatic music
playing inside)
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00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,070
MAN:
Not my eyelids!
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00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,989
ANISTON:
(groans) Are you telling me
102
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:24,949
the real reason
you started dating me
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00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,035
was so you could
buy my flower shop?
104
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:29,954
Yes. Your lease was
the last thing stopping me
105
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,289
from tearing this place down
106
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:34,042
and building the biggest
horse crematorium in Manhattan.
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00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,501
But none of that matters now.
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All right, we've seen his ass.
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Let's go.
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Hey, I can hook you up
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with pinto and black beans.
112
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Oh, I'll do anything
for free beans.
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00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,100
Anything.
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00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,268
Hey, Nametag.
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00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,562
Do you know
who her boyfriend is?
116
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Jimbo Jones.
117
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I got to go sort tortillas!
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Corn, flour, corn, corn,
no gluten, corn.
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Two stuck together?!
120
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:03,696
Oh, now I got to fill out
a form!
121
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:06,532
Listen, lady, you do not
two-time the man
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with the skull T-shirt.
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(scoffs)
Jimbo doesn't care about me.
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He didn't even
notice my side braid.
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00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,623
Oh, that is cool.
126
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,958
Looks like two snakes trying
to kill each other on your head.
127
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That's what I was going for.
128
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You know, for a second grader,
you're pretty sharp.
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00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,964
I'm actually in fourth grade,
130
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,967
but I read
at a second-grade level.
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They think I might
have a problem.
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00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:27,887
Wow.
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KEARNEY:
Why did I see that movie
134
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the day before I have
to clean the crawl space?
135
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Come on, boy!
We've got to go home!
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I saved big bucks
on the delivery charges.
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(grunting)
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(muffled)
D'oh!
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I got to go.
He's my ride.
140
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,529
Not so fast, Simpson.
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00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:48,032
FYI, you got another date
tomorrow with Shauna.
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(chuckles)
143
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,618
Why can't you do it?
144
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,328
We're going to a seminar:
145
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:55,498
"Extracting Lunch Money
from a Cashless Society."
146
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,834
We're gonna rob the guy
giving the seminar.
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00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,294
Bart and I'll figure out
something.
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00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,254
Yeah.
149
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:03,589
(humming)
150
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:04,799
(slurping)
151
00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:05,842
Ah.
152
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,010
Doesn't get
any better than this.
153
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,933
Huh? That's weird,
my armpits are getting wet!
154
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:16,227
Wow, the TV's hooked
up to the Internet.
155
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:19,689
You can stream whole
seasons of old TV shows.
156
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:20,940
Hmm.
157
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,150
Seen it. Seen it. Seen it.
158
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,776
British version was better.
159
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:24,944
Totally scripted. Sued it.
160
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:26,487
Stranded?
What's that?
161
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,448
Stranded was a show
about people marooned
162
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,575
on a mysterious island
that's riddled with
163
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,785
religious and scientific paradoxes.
164
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:33,995
It was huge.
165
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,080
Well, the first season
and the last season.
166
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:39,125
Well,
islands are always entertaining,
167
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:41,752
from Gilligan to Iwo Jima.
168
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,672
(dramatic music playing)
169
00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:45,798
(screams)
170
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,008
A plane crash!
171
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,470
Wait a minute.
172
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:54,515
That flashback raised
more questions than it answered.
173
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,434
(grunting)
174
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,020
Oh, my God.
175
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,354
Inside the coconut,
176
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:03,608
my pet cat
from when I was little.
177
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:05,485
And on his name tag
178
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,153
is the number of our flight!
179
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:08,738
Purr-gatory.
180
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,490
Where are we?!
181
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,078
What a great opening episode!
182
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:20,082
And I'm sure everything they
said will pay off handsomely!
183
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,670
(dramatic music playing)
184
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,260
Hmm. Ah!
185
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:34,764
Huh?
186
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,474
Let's go.
And don't look guilty.
187
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:39,393
(alarm beeping)
188
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,729
Young lady,
I need to check your purse.
189
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:43,147
I didn't steal nothing.
190
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,483
If anything happens to her,
191
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:48,819
I'll beat you up
from inside your brain.
192
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:50,363
(grunts)
193
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,115
I stole this.
194
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,534
You stole perfume?
195
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:55,952
Uh, yeah, me.
196
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,995
I use it all the time.
197
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,122
♪ Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi ♪
198
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,457
♪ You-you-you-you ♪
199
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,252
and I are taking
a trip to mall jail.
200
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,796
Isn't that what used to be
the Beanie Baby store?
201
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,048
Shut up.
202
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,969
(explosion)
203
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,054
This is so cool.
204
00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,389
You took a fall for me.
205
00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,057
No one's done anything
for me before.
206
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,225
Uh-oh.
207
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:21,894
Don't worry.
I made sure he can't get too far.
208
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,271
-(tire pops, hisses)
-I'd use my legs
209
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:24,355
but I've forgotten how!
210
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:25,815
Come with me.
211
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:30,611
Hey, the first time we lost Maggie
was in this store!
212
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,197
Bart,
here's my thank-you gift.
213
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,950
What could a girl have
that I...
214
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,743
Oh, my God!
215
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,412
It's just like Dad's!
216
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,048
Bart, you haven't touched
your mashed potatoes.
217
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:53,634
More breast?
218
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,094
What-- No!
219
00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:57,972
I'm offering you
a chicken breast, you boob!
220
00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:00,766
Doesn't anyone here realize
I'm only ten years old?
221
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,311
Bart,
no dinner means no dessert.
222
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,645
(gasps)
223
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,522
I'm just not ready
for cookies!
224
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,774
You know, I should
get back to the treadmill.
225
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:11,235
(chuckles)
226
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:15,197
He exercises so much,
but he looks the same.
227
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,116
I guess the weight
will all come off at once,
228
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:18,451
some day in the future.
229
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:21,579
Don't you believe
anything Homer says.
230
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,956
His first word was a lie.
231
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,417
Who did this?
232
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,294
-Mommy.
-She did?!
233
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:29,962
Then I'm gonna
withhold affection
234
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,214
without telling her why.
235
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,675
(dramatic music playing)
236
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,353
(groans)
Huh?
237
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:49,106
Don't believe anything you were
told by me in the past,
238
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,067
because that was not me.
But this is me now.
239
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,027
But in less than a second,
I'll be gone forever.
240
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:54,028
(roaring)
241
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:56,364
I might be back!
242
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,785
(gasps)
The lava being!
243
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:04,830
That's why they showed a clip
of it on "previously on."
244
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,290
MARGE:
Homer!
245
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,584
You're using your
expensive new treadmill
246
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:12,129
just to watch a show that went
off the air five years ago?
247
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,423
And when I wanted
to watch it with you then,
248
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,343
you said it was
pretentious and repetitive.
249
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:20,388
Marge, there're so many
mysteries I need to have solved.
250
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:24,016
Now, if the Korean couple
can't speak English,
251
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,018
why were they doing
a crossword puzzle
252
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:29,855
where the answer to 23 down was
"enigma" spelled backwards?
253
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,482
What does it mean?
254
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:35,236
It means use the treadmill
for running or take it back!
255
00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:36,737
And where will I watch TV?
256
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,406
On the TV!
257
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,157
And where will I walk?!
258
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,742
On the ground!
259
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,662
-And where...
-This is the stupidest fight ever!
260
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:46,747
We've had stupider!
261
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,207
I don't think so.
262
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,458
(slurps)
263
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,377
JIMBO:
Hey, Fart-tholomew.
264
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:55,005
You did a sweet job
watching my woman yesterday.
265
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,925
(both moaning)
266
00:11:58,008 --> 00:11:59,885
So, what do you
want to do now?
267
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,513
What any boy would: push you in
a puddle and run away.
268
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:04,724
Maybe I should be
faithful to Jimbo.
269
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:07,518
He's bought me a lot of gum
over the past couple months.
270
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,353
Listen...
271
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,148
I could get wedgied for this,
but Jimbo's a jerk.
272
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,524
You can do better.
273
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,985
Wow. You told me
what's best for me...
274
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,987
at risk to yourself.
275
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,947
-Come with me.
-(gulps)
276
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,533
Shauna,
I forgot to grope you good-bye.
277
00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:26,245
(both moaning)
278
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,002
At last!
This episode promises
279
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,045
to finally answer
one question.
280
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,338
Whoo-ho-ho-ho...
281
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,840
-MARGE: Homie!
-(shouts)
282
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:41,010
The kids are away
and Maggie's napping...
283
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,013
Ooh, that's great.
284
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,015
Can it wait another
104 hours?
285
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,516
-MARGE: Oh!
-(slams door)
286
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,934
She walked away
287
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,187
and slammed the door.
What does it mean?
288
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,688
What does it mean?!
289
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,482
MARGE:
It means I'm mad!
290
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,984
Oh, that's such
a first-take answer!
291
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,613
(Simon & Garfunkel's
"April Come She Will" playing)
292
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:04,074
♪ April ♪
293
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:07,912
♪ Come she will ♪
294
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:12,875
♪ When streams are ripe
and swelled with rain ♪
295
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:17,213
♪ May she will stay... ♪
296
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,298
This one's yours, Ralphie.
297
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,883
(siren wails)
298
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:25,513
♪ Resting in my arms again ♪
299
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:34,146
♪ June ♪
300
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:37,691
♪ She'll change her tune ♪
301
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:42,905
♪ In restless walks,
she'll prowl the night ♪
302
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:49,286
♪ July she will fly ♪
303
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:55,167
♪ And give no warning
to her flight... ♪
304
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:59,463
Simpson, I guess you don't
have much respect for me.
305
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:02,883
Well, who wears
a wool hat to a pool?
306
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:03,884
(grunts)
307
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:07,096
(laughing)
308
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:10,140
It's not fair!
You know that's hilarious!
309
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,892
(grunts)
310
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,978
-(grunts)
-(whistle blows)
311
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:16,063
No horseplay
in the pool area.
312
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:19,692
This isn't play;
this is some serious payback.
313
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,652
Well, that's, um...
314
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,863
All right, you may
have found a loophole.
315
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:26,615
All right, I better check.
Hello, Abby?
316
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,952
I'm not calling about
the shift change! God!
317
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,203
But, well, since
you bring it up,
318
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,414
if there's a way to flip
Saturday with next Wednesday...
319
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:36,250
Simpson, prepare to...
320
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,003
Hey, no running on the deck!
321
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,421
I'm on the grass apron!
322
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:45,968
Huh? Ugh, everyone's
a swimming pool lawyer.
323
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,996
Oh, thank God.
Mom will pound them.
324
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:17,333
Why, if it isn't Jimbo,
Dorf and Ernie.
325
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,584
(all laugh)
326
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,169
Dorf.
327
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:22,421
Bart's not home yet,
but I'm always looking
328
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:24,757
to encourage non-Milhouse
play dates.
329
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:25,925
Stick around!
330
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:26,926
Oh...
331
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,260
Hey, Bart.
332
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,262
Oh, it's you.
(moaning)
333
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,681
Why do men always think
with their tongue?
334
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,266
I came to help you.
335
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:37,519
Then go back to Jimbo and show
him every boob you've got.
336
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,940
But you told me he was a jerk
and that I could do better.
337
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:45,569
(groans)
338
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:48,572
All right. Follow me
to a place where nerds,
339
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,449
dorks and dweebs can
gather in safety.
340
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:54,328
This isn't, like, some creepy
place under an off-ramp?
341
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,372
Okay,
we'll go to my second choice.
342
00:15:57,539 --> 00:16:00,084
Now you be careful
with Bart's undies.
343
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,544
We will, Mrs. Simpson.
344
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,965
Think of this as your
personal Asgard,
345
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:09,301
and I, the all-seeing Heimdall,
guardian of the gate.
346
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:10,594
All-seeing?
347
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,138
Yeah, when's the last time
you saw your feet?
348
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,848
Oh, that's it!
349
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,725
Fellow bullies, I've got them!
350
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,228
We'll be right there.
351
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:20,646
You're a bully?
352
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:21,814
A cyber bully.
353
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,482
Anything I do,
it is important that
354
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:24,942
I can lie down while doing it.
355
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,402
-(phone chimes)
-Huh?
356
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,988
You just got yourself
in a flame war...
357
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,407
with a teenage girl.
358
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,325
Oh, flame on!
359
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:43,711
Oh! Oh!
360
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:47,464
You have cloven me from my
ponytail to my slipper shoe!
361
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:48,966
(sobs)
Get out!
362
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,342
And never return!
363
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:52,261
Oh, unless you want
to buy old Archie comics.
364
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:54,138
20 pound bricks
are a dollar.
365
00:16:56,724 --> 00:17:00,561
Thank you all for coming
to my Stranded discussion group.
366
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:01,895
Hey, I loved that show.
367
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:03,939
Wasn't it awesome when
Colonel Darkwater...
368
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,399
-(horn blares)
-Spoiler alert!
369
00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:07,192
I've only seen
up to season three,
370
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,903
episode 17:
"Coconut Cream Die."
371
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:13,574
So you don't know that season five
was a complete wank?
372
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:14,908
-(blaring)
-Spoiler!
373
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,618
Homer, calm down.
374
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,079
It's not like any of this stuff
really took place.
375
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,748
(blaring)
376
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,332
Spoiler!
377
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:23,959
Homer, for God sakes,
378
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,378
I'm trying to put
Maggie to sleep.
379
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,547
(baby talk)
I'm sorry, sweetie.
380
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:31,258
It's a Strandie
discussion group.
381
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:32,468
Yes, it is!
382
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:35,054
We discuss why airplane
go crash-crash
383
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,056
but people don't die-die.
384
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,349
You wanna know what happens
on your stupid show?
385
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,268
Firstly, the "mysterious island"
386
00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,604
is 15 miles from Long Beach.
387
00:17:43,687 --> 00:17:45,773
Also, Doorway Three led to Hell
388
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,358
despite the series creators'
repeated insistence
389
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:51,528
it did not lead to Hell,
and the entire Strandiverse,
390
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:54,865
is a piece of gravel
in a cosmic kitty litter box!
391
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:57,201
(gasps)
Thanks, Marge.
392
00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,703
You ruined my show.
393
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,539
Now,
I'm going to give you a spoiler
394
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:06,502
about our marriage:
it's not great right now.
395
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,170
(gasping)
396
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:10,047
Well, since this
is a discussion group,
397
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,465
let's discuss.
398
00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:13,008
I think they're having a spat.
399
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,718
I'd say it's more of a tiff.
400
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,053
Oh, so I'm a moron, am I?
401
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,055
Fellas, fellas,
I know where this is going.
402
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,182
Give me
all your weapons now.
403
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,352
(grunts)
404
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:27,940
Now it's time to talk about
what Carl wants.
405
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,577
Oh, man, they have every
entrance covered.
406
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:43,122
You'd have to be
a Navy SEAL to get in or out.
407
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,665
LISA:
Hello, lovebirds.
408
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:45,874
Whoa!
409
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,376
What are you doing here?
410
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:50,379
I've been following your storyline
from afar, Bart,
411
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:51,839
waiting for that inevitable point
412
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:54,049
where you get into trouble
you couldn't get out of.
413
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,301
Perhaps I could
broker a settlement.
414
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,303
Well, that's my boyfriend,
but he's a wad.
415
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,097
And your brother's
not a wad-- he's a dink
416
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,849
on the road to doofus.
417
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:03,350
Hear, hear.
418
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:04,518
Ow.
419
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:07,938
The lamb has returned
to the slaughter.
420
00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:09,731
Whoa, you should
write that down, man.
421
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,024
I'll remember it.
422
00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:14,862
I don't think Shauna
should choose any of you.
423
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:17,197
Shauna should choose Shauna.
424
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,324
Your older sister's right, Bart.
425
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,868
You don't want me?
426
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:22,995
I want to find out who I am.
427
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,872
And that's something only
428
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,915
an inappropriately
older man can tell me.
429
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:30,669
Well, that is one
lucky creepy guy.
430
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:32,838
MARGE: Lisa, are you
out there in your slippers?
431
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,673
Come inside!
432
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:37,134
Well, Bart, I guess
that's our cue to skedaddle...
433
00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:39,094
Not so fast, Simpson...
434
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,346
Uh, what was that thing
I was gonna do to him?
435
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,890
Told you you should've
written it down.
436
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:46,226
If I wrote down everything
you told me to write down,
437
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,395
I'd have no time for punching.
438
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:50,564
Whoa, you should
write that down, man.
439
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:54,443
Lousy Marge...
440
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,987
ruining the delicate
relationship
441
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:59,072
between a man and his TV show.
442
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:03,076
I'd tell my best friend,
but that's Marge too.
443
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,662
MARGE:
Homie, come in the bedroom.
444
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,248
(gasps)
445
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:13,086
Care to join me in a private
last episode party?
446
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,255
Well...
447
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:16,590
It's okay, Dad.
448
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:18,550
He's just putting
the fear of God in me.
449
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,344
Okay, but if this house
starts a-rockin',
450
00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:22,095
don't come a-knockin'.
451
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:24,097
Have a wonderful evening, sir.
452
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,768
(moaning, smooching)
453
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:46,245
-Purr-plexing, isn't it?
-HOMER: D'oh!
454
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:33,750
Shh!
455
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:39,965
{\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay