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00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:06,214
CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(theme music playing)
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(exclaiming)
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(school bell ringing)
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(Barney belches)
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(whistle blows)
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(yells)
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(beeping)
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(playing the blues)
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(playing the blues)
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Ooh!
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(gunfire)
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(tires screeching)
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-(horn honking)
-(Grampa shouts)
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D'oh!
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(tires screeching)
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(grunts)
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Oh!
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{\an8}Mm!
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(whistling)
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(all moaning eerily)
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(cool jazz playing)
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Hey... huh?!
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{\an8}(hacking cough,
hawking phlegm)
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{\an8}Lisa, this is going
too slow for me.
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{\an8}And I work at the DMV.
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{\an8}Mind if we take a nap?
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{\an8}I'll have to make it more neoclassical
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{\an8}and less Mannerist, but okay.
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{\an8}You say such cute little...
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{\an8}(snoring)
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{\an8}I jumped in front
of your picture.
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{\an8}Now it's ruined.
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{\an8}Bart, this isn't a photograph.
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{\an8}I'm not just gonna
paint you into my-- aw!
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{\an8}You just ruined
six months' work!
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{\an8}I'm really sorry
it wasn't a year.
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{\an8}(cackling)
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{\an8}Aw! You're gonna regret
the day you were born.
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{\an8}I already do.
It's too close to Christmas.
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{\an8}Ugh!
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{\an8}(gasping anxiously)
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{\an8}(gasps)
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{\an8}Not to worry.
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{\an8}Now what?
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{\an8}Bart, I'm afraid we need the
help of someone older and wiser.
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{\an8}(laughing)
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{\an8}Oh, I get to enjoy this,
but I'm not responsible.
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{\an8}Actually, Dad, as the
supervising parent today,
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{\an8}you'll get your share
of the blame, too.
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{\an8}(shrieks)
What do I do?
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{\an8}Patty's gonna kill me.
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{\an8}Unless...
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{\an8}I kill her first.
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{\an8}I put the body in the car,
I dump the car in the lake,
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{\an8}I put a James Taylor CD
in the stereo
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{\an8}so they think it's a suicide...
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{\an8}Why don't you just cut the paint
out of her hair?
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{\an8}Oh, fine, whatever.
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{\an8}I'll just keep cutting
till I hit something solid.
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{\an8}(humming tune)
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{\an8}(humming)
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{\an8}And now, to break the news
as gently as I know how.
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{\an8}Wake up and look at your hair!
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{\an8}Ah!
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{\an8}(gasps)
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{\an8}What happened to you?
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{\an8}Oh! Who undid my do?
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{\an8}I didn't do diddily,
and certainly not squat.
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{\an8}Hmm, actually,
it's kind of cute.
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{\an8}You look like Posh Spice.
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{\an8}That's just what
I was going for.
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{\an8}I was going for Scary.
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{\an8}You did this?
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{\an8}With your fat fingers and your
brain the size of a Super Ball?
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{\an8}And stay out.
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{\an8}I can't believe
I'm saying this...
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{\an8}Homer Simpson, do me.
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{\an8}I meant my hair.
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{\an8}Oh! Oh...
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{\an8}Idiot.
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{\an8}Milhouse, check it out.
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{\an8}I put a roadblock
on the curly slide.
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{\an8}Isn't this the greatest day ever?
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{\an8}(sighs heavily)
There are no more great days, Bart.
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{\an8}Just days.
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{\an8}What's wrong, man?
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{\an8}Something happened
last night.
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00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,978
{\an8}Something that really
changed me.
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{\an8}My mom put in
the Finding Nemo DVD,
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{\an8}but then she got
a phone call.
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{\an8}(phone ringing)
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{\an8}So I started it myself.
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{\an8}Did you know it has a chapter
before chapter two?
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{\an8}A chapter where we meet
Nemo's mother.
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{\an8}(gasps)
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{\an8}Nemo doesn't have a mother.
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{\an8}Not after Chapter One,
he doesn't.
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00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:47,805
{\an8}If death can happen to a fish,
it can happen to anyone.
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{\an8}So you've gotta live life
while you can.
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{\an8}So I'm gonna finally proclaim
my love for Lisa.
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{\an8}That's your take-away
from Nemo?
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{\an8}I think you've already made
your feelings for Lisa clear.
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{\an8}Well, I can make them
more clear.
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{\an8}You see, in the past,
I've been too subtle.
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{\an8}It's my curse-- subtlety!
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{\an8}(groans)
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{\an8}Homer, thanks to your
unlicensed barbery,
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{\an8}Patty and Selma have been
getting compliments
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{\an8}all day at the DMV.
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You two look good.
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-Open-casket good.
-(both chuckle)
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-Well!
-(doorbell rings)
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I hear this is the home
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of Springfield's hottest
hairdresser.
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I need a haircut-- and I need
it in three, two, one, now.
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Lady, I'm not a hairdresser.
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I just put a new lid
on a couple of trashcans.
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(both growling)
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(gasps)
A hundred dollars?!
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Marge, how much is that
in smackaroos?
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-One hundred.
-Whoo-hoo!
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Wow. Wow.
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Wow!
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Wow!
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Hello, airport piano bar.
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And it'll look good
in the morning, too.
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Are you sure you
don't have a salon?
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00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:12,515
Well, I open
a lot of crazy things
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when I'm drunk,
but I don't think so.
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Too bad.
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Just call me
"Homer Fingerhands."
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I'd rather call you by your
normal name, if that's okay.
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But I never knew you
were so good with hair.
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Marge, when someone loses their hair,
they miss it the most.
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It's like a beloved dog
that died on your head.
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(knocking on door)
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You better not be brushing
your hair again.
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Uh, uh, no, I'm, uh...
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just exploring my body.
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You better be.
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Oh, hair.
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I'll love you
when you're old and gray.
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Huh?
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00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,261
Well, two can play at that game.
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(grunts)
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Now that my soft,
chestnut mane is gone,
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I dream of cutting hair,
styling hair,
149
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,566
making hair shorter
in exchange for money.
150
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,610
Maybe I should open
a hair salon.
151
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:09,238
Well, Newsweek magazine did say
it's good to change careers,
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00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,616
right after they laid off
all their editors.
153
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:13,075
Yeah.
154
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,412
But what if I can't find any
commercial rental property?
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(dog howling)
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(buzzing)
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I really thought people would
like to harvest their own honey.
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Oh, how they hated it.
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Attention, lovers of love.
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Let it be known by all:
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Lisa Simpson is
the smartest, sweetest,
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most perfectest girl
in the whole world,
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00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:55,535
and I shall not rest
until I am her boyfriend.
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(groans)
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00:08:57,411 --> 00:09:01,332
I know you like music, Lisa,
so I'm gonna perform a love song
166
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I wrote... for you.
167
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:08,714
Oh, yeah, it's a theremin.
168
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(to the tune of "Greensleeves")
♪ Teacher said ♪
169
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♪ Don't eat the paste ♪
170
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♪ 'Tis apt to make you spew ♪
171
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:23,396
♪ I ate the paste,
and liked the taste ♪
172
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:26,732
♪ Passed out
and dreamed of you ♪
173
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,485
Okay--
first of all, it's never wise
174
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,404
to use the word "spew"
in a love song.
175
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:34,657
♪ Lisa, Lisa, maid so fair ♪
176
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♪ With crimson dress
and pointy hair ♪
177
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:42,999
♪ Do you mind
if I stop and stare ♪
178
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:47,670
♪ Look in your mind
and I'm there ♪
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00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:48,838
(groans)
180
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,674
So, Lisa, I love you.
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Is that love
"requited" or "un"?
182
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:59,265
I'm sorry, but I don't love you,
Milhouse, and I never will.
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00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,312
(groans)
184
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,815
GIRL:
I thought that was beautiful.
185
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,068
You did?
186
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:14,488
Yeah. It was romantic,
and it rhymed.
187
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:17,491
Well, I used a rhyming
dictionary,
188
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,577
but it only
gives you options.
189
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:22,830
The job of the poet is to say,
"This one, I guess."
190
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:23,831
(laughs)
191
00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:24,999
I'm Taffy.
192
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:27,668
Would you like to help me
roll the theremin
193
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,670
back to the A.V. closet?
194
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,088
It's a date.
195
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,927
Hm! That theremin has paid
for itself again and again.
196
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:41,349
All day long, Apu goes on
about Lady Gaga,
197
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:44,018
who is doing nothing that
Rava Khatan was not doing
198
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:47,688
20 years ago, while she was
a member of Parliament.
199
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:50,066
Oh, now, how could
someone as young as you
200
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,109
know about 20 years ago?
201
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,029
Oh! (laughs, stammers nervously)
202
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:58,824
Funny how my Timothy always
uses the short-form baptism
203
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,118
when there's a basketball game
he wants to watch...
204
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,954
-The worst know-it-all!
-Wears the same socks for a month!
205
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,289
I could just talk
on and on!
206
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,958
(high-pitched,
rapid-fire talking)
207
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,215
Homie, are you even
listening to me?
208
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,300
Because I have
so much to tell you.
209
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,094
The mailman did
the other side of the street
210
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,679
before our side.
211
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,806
Turns out it was a substitute.
212
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:23,516
(groans)
I'm sorry, honey.
213
00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:26,727
All day long I have
to listen to women talk.
214
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,854
Not a good time!
215
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:32,316
(school bell rings)
216
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,779
Hey, Lis, those books
aren't gonna pick themselves up.
217
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,989
Oh.
Usually, Milhouse does it.
218
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,116
Hey, guys.
219
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,992
Uh, Lisa,
you dropped your books.
220
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,119
When you pick 'em up,
221
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,662
make sure you bend
your knees.
222
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:47,998
You know so much about
body mechanics!
223
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:51,752
Well, I've worn a lot
of different braces in my time.
224
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,254
(sighs)
225
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:54,880
This dame
is really into you!
226
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,132
She sure is.
227
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:58,134
This morning I got
to second base...
228
00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,428
on our walk around
the softball diamond.
229
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:03,180
(Milhouse laughs)
230
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:05,850
Why would a popular
fifth-grader like Taffy
231
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,352
be interested in a Milhouse
like Milhouse?
232
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,020
I dunno.
It's one of those mysteries,
233
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,274
like how do my clothes get clean
and put back in my drawers?
234
00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:15,025
Well, I'm gonna find out why,
235
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:17,319
-because this is... Oh! Ow!
-(back cracks)
236
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,947
Knees, Lisa!
Knees!
237
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:25,035
-(women all talking at once)
-HOMER: Mm-hmm. Oh, yes, right.
238
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,747
I know Kirk resents
that the dog likes me more,
239
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:31,584
but Rex is just establishing
dominance over the weaker male.
240
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,377
That's what
miniature dachshunds do.
241
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:34,962
(wearily)
Oh, yeah.
242
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:38,048
Men are such dogs,
and vice versa.
243
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:41,427
Is there anyone in here who just wants
a haircut with no chitchat?
244
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,387
-No, not me.
-No.
245
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,639
Hey, I don't want a conversation.
246
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:48,184
-Oh?!
-I just want you to listen
247
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,728
while I talk about
the loser I'm married to.
248
00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,730
(screaming)
249
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:55,483
(wailing, sobbing)
250
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,359
(dogs barking)
251
00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,029
(sobbing)
252
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:04,617
These are really good scissors.
253
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:10,206
All day long, they tell me
stupid, pointless,
254
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:13,667
boring stories, and I have
to stand there listening
255
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,879
with a phony grin
plastered on my face.
256
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:17,880
Uh-huh.
257
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,799
Well, Homer, you're safe here.
258
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:21,926
You can forget everything
they said.
259
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,804
(gasps)
260
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:35,731
When I look at you,
261
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,609
all I see are the foibles
that drive your women crazy!
262
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:41,403
Foibles! Foibles! Foibles!
263
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,072
Calm down there, Homer.
264
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,241
(shrieks)
265
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,909
What got into him?
266
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:50,079
It's a freaky ad campaign
they're running.
267
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:59,630
Homer, can you make me
look fan-cy?
268
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,549
Sorry, Sarah, I'm retired.
269
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,217
But tonight's the Policemen's Ball!
270
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,219
And if you let my Sarah down,
271
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:08,097
I can make life
very difficult for you.
272
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,182
I'd like to see you try.
273
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,351
-Huh, where you goin'?
-Excuse me.
274
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:13,602
Uh-uh-uh!
275
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,854
-Come on! Would you...?
-No, no.
276
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,105
Oh, buh!
277
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,108
I, uh, I can also make
very annoying noises.
278
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:23,571
(oscillating whine)
279
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:27,408
(screeching, wailing,
and warbling)
280
00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:29,118
Come on, bro, don't hassle me!
281
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,287
Stop that!
282
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,289
Okay, okay, you win.
283
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,916
I'll teach you how
to make love to your wife!
284
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,418
What? No!
Just cut her hair!
285
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:38,878
Right.
286
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:44,008
Homer, I thought
you were gonna quit.
287
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,342
I can't.
288
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,719
They won't let me.
289
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:49,263
Lenny, be a pal
and saw off my hands.
290
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:50,931
Why don't you do here
what you do
291
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:53,017
at the nuclear plant--
namely, suck?
292
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,393
Suck!
293
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:55,895
Of course!
294
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,646
So, I told Timothy
295
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:01,025
you cannot keep basing sermons
on old Seinfelds.
296
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,238
Oh, my God.
297
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,949
Like Mozart and Johnny Knoxville,
298
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,367
my genius cannot be stopped!
299
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,369
(sobbing)
300
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:15,205
Oh, there's only one way out!
301
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,249
I'm committing Barbicide!
302
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:24,214
Oh, why doesn't anything
kill me?
303
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:29,678
Hmm...
304
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,472
Hey, that's Taffy's page.
305
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:34,308
Ooh, I see that she's
in a relationship.
306
00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:35,643
Shut up.
307
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,312
I just want to know
what she's up to with Milhouse.
308
00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:40,564
A girl like her
could get a fifth-grader,
309
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,149
maybe even Kyle LoBianco!
310
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:44,068
(Bart whistles appreciatively)
311
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:47,488
I hear he goes to California
on his vacations.
312
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:50,324
That's the first thing everyone
knows about Kyle LoBianco!
313
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:51,992
Taffy's up to something.
314
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,536
And I won't find out what it is
sitting at a computer.
315
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,164
It's time to get boots on the ground.
316
00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:00,709
You like my boots?
317
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,128
Once you get past
the sister ick, they're fine.
318
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,340
(Homer moans)
319
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:09,677
Oh, my poor Homie.
320
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,804
(moans)
321
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:13,305
Marge, do you hear it?
322
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,556
Listen!
323
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,141
It's the hair... growing!
324
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,601
Always growing!
325
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:20,604
Blonde, brunette, auburn!
326
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,398
This ends now!
327
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,441
I need some highlights
for a bridal shower!
328
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,527
You can start with
the rinse! Shoo!
329
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,237
(splutters) Please?!
330
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,530
I'll even buy... product!
331
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,448
(groans)
332
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:38,288
(Milhouse wheezing)
333
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,040
Here, my love.
334
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,875
-(inhales)
-Thank you.
335
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,920
Anything for my silly Milly.
336
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,797
(Milhouse giggles)
337
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,677
Who'd follow Milhouse around
like that?
338
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,013
Sneaking around after them
all day has taught me
339
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:56,390
a lot about this sicko.
340
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:57,933
Evening.
341
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,351
(Lisa gasps)
342
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,648
(sighs)
343
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:07,568
I am never gonna get
my homework done tonight.
344
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,747
All right, sister,
what's your game?
345
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,541
We're just trying
346
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:24,418
to put our relationship
back together.
347
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,336
In the sack,
he's Salisbury steak,
348
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:29,673
everywhere else, creamed corn.
349
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,592
I am so sorry.
350
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,844
(chuckles nervously)
351
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,514
Lisa?
352
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,601
Ugh!
Not her again.
353
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:43,020
Yeah, Lisa,
can't you leave me alone?
354
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,438
We're over.
355
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:46,231
You're not over,
you never were!
356
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,067
Milhouse, you're a great guy,
357
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,360
but we're not gonna work out
for one reason.
358
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,446
Is it 'cause when
I wore cuffed pants
359
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,490
they filled up with leaves?
360
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,575
That wasn't a great day for us.
361
00:17:56,658 --> 00:18:00,537
But it's because you'll
always be in love with her.
362
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,414
He likes his apple pie warm
363
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,041
and his a la mode cold.
364
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:05,459
Good luck.
365
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,753
You don't want me
to be with you,
366
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,047
you don't want me to be
with someone else.
367
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,634
How miserable do I have
to be before you're happy?
368
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,723
Milhouse, I, I... (groans)
369
00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:24,895
Lisa, does this mean
you like me?
370
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:26,146
Yes. No!
371
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,524
I don't know!
It means that...
372
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:30,400
that life is full
of unexpected things
373
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,111
and you should
never give up.
374
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,737
And you're cute
in the moonlight.
375
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,072
Aah!
376
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:41,078
Everything's comin' up Milhouse!
377
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:45,582
(music playing)
378
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:48,836
Doctor and Mrs. Julius Hibbert!
379
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:52,297
Mr. Discotheque Stuart,
unaccompanied!
380
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:55,425
My girlfriend
isn't feeling well tonight.
381
00:18:55,509 --> 00:19:00,931
Krusty the Clown
and Disco Stu's girlfriend!
382
00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:06,270
Mr. Homer J. and Mrs. Marge
Bouvier Simpson!
383
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:08,438
(all gasp)
384
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,691
Her hair!
385
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:13,318
Move over, Lard Lad statue,
386
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:16,697
it's the eighth wonder
of the Springfield world!
387
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,032
You've outdone yourself, Homer!
388
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:23,328
Oh, yes, ladies,
I've outdone myself.
389
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:26,874
Outdone myself
by not doing it at all!
390
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,709
Stop talking crazy talk!
391
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:31,461
I'm afraid it's all too true.
392
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:33,463
My wife has betrayed me...
393
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:34,965
with another hairdresser!
394
00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:36,800
-(all gasp)
-Another hairdresser?
395
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,343
Who is it?
We must know!
396
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:42,139
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Julio is my little secret!
397
00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:43,807
(gasps)
398
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,767
I've said too much!
399
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:46,768
Julio?
400
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,187
That's right, ladies.
401
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,855
And I never
heard a complaint
402
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:52,065
I didn't sympathetically cluck to.
403
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,817
(clicking tongue)
That's how I roll.
404
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,361
Okay, first five customers
get a discount.
405
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:59,239
Next five hear secrets
about the first five.
406
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:00,365
Come on, get in line.
407
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,326
(women squealing)
408
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:04,161
It worked perfectly.
409
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:07,664
As if anyone but you could
make me feel this beautiful.
410
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:08,999
Aw, sweetie,
411
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:11,126
thanks for saving me
from the horrible life
412
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,795
Warren Beatty lived in Shampoo.
413
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,924
Now it's time to pay you back.
414
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,973
Oh... ooh...
415
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,393
Homie, you're making
my toes curl.
416
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,729
You sure know how
to please a woman.
417
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:33,232
(chuckles)
As long as it doesn't
418
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:37,903
involve losing weight
or changing my pants.
419
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,745
-(crowd murmuring)
-Shh!
420
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,960
{\an8}Subtitled by A. Huberman