1 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:06,673 Oh, man, I can't believe we have to pick the peaches ourselves. 2 00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:10,593 This activity is so lame I'm gonna daydream about school. 3 00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:13,847 Damn it, a pop quiz! 4 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,932 Aw, come on, Bart, it's fun! 5 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:20,103 {\an8}Well, that was kind of the same as the first time. 6 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,522 {\an8}Oh! Why did I suggest this? 7 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,024 {\an8}Peach pickin' ain't so bad, 8 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,443 {\an8}long as you got a song to take your mind off it. 9 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,987 {\an8}Ooh, authentic American folk music, 10 00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:31,281 {\an8}just like they play on NPR! 11 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,033 {\an8}I'm afraid the only "NPR" 12 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,618 {\an8}we know down here is National Public Radio. 13 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:41,332 {\an8}♪ Oh, the year's first peach is a juicy peach ♪ 14 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,626 {\an8}♪ And he sings a happy tune ♪ 15 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,880 {\an8}♪ And the year's second peach is a grouchy peach ♪ 16 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:49,382 {\an8}♪ More like a prune ♪ 17 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,176 {\an8}♪ Now, the year's third peach is a-- ♪ 18 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:53,136 {\an8}How many verses does this song have? 19 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,679 {\an8}I ain't never run out! 20 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:57,807 {\an8}♪ Now, the year's third peach is God-fearin' peach ♪ 21 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,809 {\an8}♪ Does what the good book tells him ♪ 22 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,896 {\an8}♪ And the year's fourth peach is a moldy peach ♪ 23 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:05,065 {\an8}♪ Shame on the man that sells him ♪ 24 00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:08,151 {\an8}♪ Now the year's fifth peach is a fuzzy peach ♪ 25 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,737 {\an8}♪ Its kisses are quite ticklish... ♪ 26 00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,072 {\an8}HOMER: Not bad. 27 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,157 {\an8}Marge, how much do they pay us for doing this? 28 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,410 {\an8}Actually, we pay them for each peach we take home. 29 00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:18,620 {\an8}What the... 30 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:22,582 {\an8}First I work, then I pay, then I have to eat fruit?! 31 00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,667 {\an8}Why was I ever born?! 32 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,628 (music playing) 33 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,810 Haw haw! 34 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:47,565 {\an8}Okay, we've got peach bruschetta on peach toast, 35 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,150 {\an8}peach-aroni peach-za, 36 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:52,821 {\an8}and my famous BLTs-- or should I say, PPPs? 37 00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:56,157 {\an8}Come on, people, peaches! 38 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:59,994 {\an8}Uh, honey, on a non-stone-fruit-related topic, 39 00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:02,080 {\an8}I booked us a couples massage. 40 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:04,415 {\an8}Ooh... couples! 41 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,835 {\an8}That way I can enjoy my massage 42 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:10,338 {\an8}and make sure you don't enjoy yours too much. 43 00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:12,173 {\an8}(humming) 44 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,720 Initiate phase two. 45 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,515 I forget what phase two is, but I'll assume 46 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,684 we just dump the peaches like we discussed. 47 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,103 -Affirmative. -I'll assume that means "yes." 48 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:27,272 -Roger. -The name's Bart. 49 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,784 {\an8}(Homer and Marge moan with pleasure) 50 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:43,371 {\an8}Oh... mmm... 51 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:45,039 {\an8}When we get home, the peaches will be gone. 52 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,584 {\an8}What?! What?! What will we eat?! 53 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,794 {\an8}Oh... oh! 54 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,212 {\an8}Oh, screw it. 55 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,714 {\an8}(chuckles) 56 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:55,258 {\an8}Masseuses-- the half-doctors/half-hookers 57 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:56,801 {\an8}who solve everything. 58 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:02,140 Oh! What idiot put the dump so far away from where people live? 59 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,058 Aw, man! 60 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:07,395 The Horticulture Society is having its Chinese Lantern party 61 00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,105 and we've got nothing to huck! 62 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,984 {\an8}Gentlemen, I think I have the solution to your problem. 63 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,945 (shouting, screaming) 64 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,949 (all laughing) 65 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,618 (dog howls) 66 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,869 {\an8}Where am I? 67 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,579 {\an8}This neighborhood is starting to look a little bit 68 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:26,539 {\an8}like Sesame Street! 69 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:27,790 {\an8}-(clanking) -(gasps) 70 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,168 {\an8}(chuckles nervously) Wonder who's in there. 71 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:31,836 {\an8}Could it be Oscar the... 72 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:32,879 {\an8}-(gasps) -(chitters) 73 00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:33,880 {\an8}(screams) 74 00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:36,090 {\an8}-(hissing) -(gasping) 75 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,552 {\an8}(door creaks) 76 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:40,720 Huh? 77 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,224 -(chittering) -(panting) 78 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,817 (gasps) 79 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,362 (lid creaks) 80 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,822 What the... 81 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,824 Is somebody in here? 82 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,959 LISA: Help! I'm trapped in an alternate dimension-- 83 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,211 an existential nether space! 84 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:15,046 I... Hey, how ya doin'? 85 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:16,381 (groans) 86 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:22,845 All right, who sent you-- Marvin The Magician? 87 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,305 Oswald of the Occult? 88 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,682 Citywide Mortgage? 89 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,517 I worked everything out with Nina. 90 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,601 No one sent me. 91 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,728 I just knocked on the door and it opened. 92 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:34,190 Uh, how'd I get from inside there to over here? 93 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,193 Because this is a house of magic. 94 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,154 Sounds like most of the house is still owned by the bank. 95 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,740 -But the rest of it is magic. -Ooh... 96 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,413 (gasps) How did you do all that? 97 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,333 Permit me to introduce myself. 98 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,295 I am... The Great Raymondo! 99 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,756 I was once the most famous illusionist in the world, 100 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,134 performing for pashas and potentates, 101 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:04,178 Grand Dukes and Grande Dames. 102 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,888 (sighs, groans) 103 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,558 Who wants to hear an old man go on 104 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,185 -about bygone wonders? -I do, I do! 105 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,062 (chuckles) Very well. 106 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,189 But first, you should call your parents. 107 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,693 I got this phone for subscribing to Psychic Monthly, 108 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,862 and then I canceled the subscription. 109 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,114 They never saw it coming. (chuckles) 110 00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:26,868 Meet Ali Rudy Vallée, my musical automaton. 111 00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:29,120 He can play all the top hits. 112 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,789 ♪ Boop boop, dit-tem dat-tem, what-tem chu! ♪ 113 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,249 ♪ Boop boop, dit-tem dat-tem ♪ 114 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,585 (slowing) ♪ What-tem chu... ♪ 115 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:39,213 Now, here's the infamous "miroir noir." 116 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:43,801 Gaze into it and learn how you will die. 117 00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:46,721 (electricity buzzing) 118 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:48,556 It's made for the American market. 119 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:52,185 And here, my dear, is my most celebrated illusion-- 120 00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:54,270 The Great Milk Can Escape, 121 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,898 handed down to me by Houdini himself. 122 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:02,570 Looks like there was magic between you two. 123 00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:05,656 The lady in question is my late wife Esther. 124 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,575 She was the only other soul 125 00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:10,161 who knew the secret of my greatest trick. 126 00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:13,998 Now I'm alone with my memories and my medical marijuana. 127 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:17,085 Would you be interested in teaching me? 128 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,961 A girl illusionist?! 129 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:22,340 Ladies are what you saw in half and throw knives at. 130 00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:24,175 They never wear the hat. 131 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:26,427 Well, what if you just taught me one trick? 132 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:30,264 Fine. These are the Rings of Fate. 133 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,101 Come back in a week with these rings linked together, 134 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:36,187 {\an8}and maybe I'll-- Say, you did it already?! 135 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,606 {\an8}Well, I guess I can teach a girl. 136 00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,191 Blackstone taught a monkey. 137 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,443 I'm not exactly flattered by that. 138 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:43,694 You should be. 139 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:46,948 That monkey wound up with 18 car dealerships. 140 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,992 If you bought a family car in the St. Louis area, 141 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,745 you bought it from The Mighty Chimpopo. 142 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,539 {\an8}LISA: Huh. 143 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:57,792 Now, I'll start you off with a little coin work. 144 00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:59,544 Ooh! 145 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:02,964 And George Washington took a trip down the... 146 00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:05,091 Ear-y Canal! 147 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:07,301 (gasps) My ear makes money! 148 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,430 Hello, boat store? I'd like to order a boat. 149 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,640 What do you mean, dial tone? 150 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:15,143 Where'd you learn that trick, in the Army? 151 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,727 From The Great Raymondo. 152 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,855 Ooh! He is great. 153 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:22,442 In '57, I saw him turn the Secretary of Agriculture 154 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,819 into the Secretary of the Interior! 155 00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:26,737 It was hell on their wives, 156 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:29,407 but it sure brought down corn prices. 157 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,950 Built a house outta corn. 158 00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,369 Worst house I ever owned! 159 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,330 When it got real hot, it smelled like Fritos. 160 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,124 -(Grampa continues indistinct) -Lisa can't be a magician! 161 00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:39,917 That's my thing! I'm the one that got 162 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,170 a magic set for Christmas two years ago. 163 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,921 You never even opened it. 164 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,007 (grunting) 165 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:48,759 Need some help? 166 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,471 (grunts) Kid scissors-- lame. 167 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,640 Ooh! (coughs) 168 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,685 Let's see what else you've been hiding in there. 169 00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:59,437 (grunting) 170 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,647 I want my pot of gold! 171 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,941 Ay... ca... ram... ba! 172 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,320 (straining) I forgot why I'm doing this. 173 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,698 Raymondo! I mastered the slide pass, 174 00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:13,034 {\an8}and I've almost mastered the Denver slide pass. 175 00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:15,786 {\an8}And why is there always a "Denver" version of things? 176 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,247 I'm sorry, Lisa. I'm upset. 177 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,541 "Bumped off The Mike Douglas Show" upset! 178 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,126 Oh. What's wrong? 179 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,212 (music playing on TV) 180 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,051 'Sup, brahs? It's me, Cregg Demon. 181 00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:32,220 Who's ready to get their magic on?! 182 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,931 -(cheering) -Okay, for my first chillusion, 183 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,267 I'm gonna descend into hell and pull up a skank. 184 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,269 (plays chord) 185 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,021 (footsteps echoing) 186 00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:43,731 -(sultry laugh) -Hi. 187 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,983 Now, we've never met before, correct? 188 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,985 That's right, Cregg Demon. 189 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,987 Well, I don't need your number, sweetie... 190 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,657 because it's tattooed on my ass! 191 00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:56,661 Yeah, it's on everyone's ass! Yeah! 192 00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:58,412 (all exclaiming) 193 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,957 Eh! Disgraceful. 194 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,918 Any idiot with a soul patch and a deck of cards 195 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,461 thinks he's a magician. 196 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:09,048 Magic is about mystery, illusion, 197 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,883 pulling rabbits out of hats! 198 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,344 -Presto! Oh... -Ew. 199 00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:16,347 Today's lesson-- feed your props. 200 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:20,810 ♪ Old black magic has me in its spell ♪ 201 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:24,730 ♪ Old black magic that you weave so well ♪ 202 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:28,526 ♪ Those icy fingers up and down my spine ♪ 203 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:33,239 ♪ The same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine ♪ 204 00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:36,242 ♪ Same old tingle that I feel inside ♪ 205 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:41,080 ♪ And then that elevator starts its rise ♪ 206 00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,915 ♪ Down and down I go ♪ 207 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,584 ♪ Round and around I go ♪ 208 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:47,670 ♪ Like a leaf caught in a tide ♪ 209 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:51,966 ♪ I should stay away, but what can I do? I hear-- ♪ 210 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:54,260 KIDS: Lisa! Lisa! 211 00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:55,928 If you wanna do some real magic, 212 00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,931 find me a boyfriend that don't get all religious on me. 213 00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:06,439 No! (gasps) 214 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,774 Huh? 215 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:11,027 Oh... 216 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:14,447 (gasps) Raymondo's greatest secret! 217 00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:20,119 No, I shouldn't. I won't. 218 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:21,746 (gasps, gulps) 219 00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:26,626 I guess I can trust you, Lisa Simpson. 220 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,462 I am going to teach you 221 00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,797 The Great Milk Can Escape. 222 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,966 You are? Why? 223 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,970 If magic is not passed on, it dies. 224 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,892 The only magic we couldn't make was a child. 225 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,399 Now the first thing you must do is make me a vodka tonic. 226 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,361 -You're out of tonic. -That won't be a problem. 227 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:55,363 {\an8}(kids murmuring) 228 00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:59,575 Students, teachers, detentionees, 229 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,410 prepare to have everything you believe 230 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,621 about milk cans challenged! 231 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,206 (excited murmuring) 232 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,208 Willie, if you will? 233 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,380 (gasps) 234 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,097 God, if you don't bring my Lisa back safe, 235 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,932 ants will burn tonight. 236 00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:27,603 (all gasp) 237 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,022 I believe the expression is "ta-da"! 238 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,774 (crowd cheering) 239 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,527 I don't know what to think about milk cans anymore. 240 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:38,364 -(excited gasp) -That was amazing. 241 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:41,367 I can see why they call you The Great Simpsina. 242 00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:43,202 My friends call me Lisa. 243 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,287 -She has no friends. -Shut up! 244 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,415 -Now, where were we? -I got to admit, 245 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,167 I was pretty nervous when you were in that milk can. 246 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,795 Oh, it's a lot less dangerous than you think. 247 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,716 You can see me do it again in a talent show next week. 248 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,385 I'd like to come, but only if I was sure 249 00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:02,513 -you wouldn't get hurt. -There's no chance whatsoever. 250 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,766 I'll show you. 251 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,854 You don't open the top. The locks are real. 252 00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:12,356 The can is in two halves, and they slide apart. 253 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,275 From inside, you just push up. 254 00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:16,360 (chuckles) Easy peasy. 255 00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:20,030 And there's no way anyone can figure out how it's done. 256 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,449 Well, I can think of one way. 257 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:24,368 You trick a dorky little girl into telling you! 258 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,370 -(gasps) -Yo, Dad! 259 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,039 It's a three-quarter flangeless friction slide. 260 00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,583 What about the locks on the lid? 261 00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:33,252 -Schmuck-bait. -Sweet, sweet! 262 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,337 Oh, and the next time it's my weekend with you, 263 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,548 I promise there will be no chicks over. 264 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:41,719 Just you, me, the komodo dragon, and Ben Roethlisberger. 265 00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:43,721 Hell to the yes! 266 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,724 (boy laughing) 267 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,397 (grunts, laughs) 268 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:59,278 'Sup, Magicfreeks. Last night, for serious, 269 00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,156 I got haunted by a straight-up, see-through ghost. 270 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,117 It was Harry H-Dog Houdini, yo! 271 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:08,204 Now, after calling me "the new him"-- his words-- 272 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:11,415 he told me the secret to his Milk Can Escape. 273 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,000 -(gasping, murmuring) -Yeah. 274 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,919 I will perform this trick at the upcoming 275 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:16,629 World Magic Championships! 276 00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,589 I recommend parking in the mall 277 00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:21,008 and taking the shuttle, yo! 278 00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:23,219 Raymondo, I am so sorry. 279 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,387 I got rolled by a pro. 280 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,890 Do you know what it's like to be the kind of girl 281 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,391 that boys never talk to, 282 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,144 and then, suddenly, a boy talks to you? 283 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,646 Get out. 284 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:36,357 Haven't you ever been fooled by a pretty face? 285 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,151 Just once. I trusted you. 286 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,903 Oh, you think I'm pretty? (nervous laugh) 287 00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,738 Get out! 288 00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:56,585 -D'oh! -Lisa, don't feel bad. 289 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,463 Judas betrayed Jesus, but he still got paid. 290 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:02,174 (sobbing) Oh, no... 291 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:07,596 I can't stand to see one of my female children unhappy! 292 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,515 I'm gonna go pound some sense 293 00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:11,934 into that ring-linking rabbit-yanker. 294 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,603 Hey, let me down! 295 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,356 This is gonna leave a diamond pattern on my skin! 296 00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:21,861 Imagine if your greatest secret was given to your worst enemy. 297 00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:25,364 A peanut butter and pretzel sandwich? 298 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:26,532 Mmm! 299 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,534 There's no way a stupid Flanders like me 300 00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,244 could ever have thought of this. 301 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,913 Okay, maybe secrets are a big deal, 302 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,332 but my daughter's a good kid. 303 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:38,669 So why don't you act your age, forgive her, and let me down?! 304 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,338 (Homer snoring) 305 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:49,555 (murmurs) 306 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,015 (snoring) 307 00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:59,356 Hey, kid, nobody likes a gloomy magician. 308 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,609 Except, of course, Gloomo the Magnificent. 309 00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,861 Raymondo, you forgive me! 310 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:06,071 Not so fast. 311 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,782 -But still, there is hope. -(dove coos) 312 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,577 Lisa, we've all done things we're ashamed of. 313 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:14,455 I briefly became a disco magician. 314 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,916 Have you ever tried to put a leisure suit on a bird? 315 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,168 You get his pants on, he pulls his coat off, 316 00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,502 and on it goes. 317 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:25,799 But now I need your help to stop Cregg Demon. 318 00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,221 All right, I want close-up magicians on the left, 319 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,015 illusionists on the right, 320 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,601 and mentalists-- well, I don't need to tell you. (chuckles) 321 00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:37,227 Ah, come on, Lou, I need backup. 322 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,562 LOU: Wish I could help, Chief. 323 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,815 I'll take the box that doesn't talk back. 324 00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:44,652 Yeah, that's just what you need, Chief, 325 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,779 -another stomach. -Shut up. 326 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,864 ♪ My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard ♪ 327 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,408 ♪ And they're like, it's better than yours... ♪ 328 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,410 (laughs) 329 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,663 ♪ I could teach you, but I have to charge... ♪ 330 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,623 Yeah! 331 00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,959 ♪ And they're like, it's better than yours... ♪ 332 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,086 Ha, yeah! 333 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:04,129 (crowd cheering, whistling) 334 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,130 Yeah! 335 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,548 'Sup! 336 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,259 Hope you're watching up there, Houdini-Bro. 337 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:11,512 I did your great-grand-niece. 338 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:13,722 ♪ ...go crazy for ♪ 339 00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,559 ♪ They lose their minds ♪ 340 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,938 ♪ The way I wind, I think it's time ♪ 341 00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:23,565 ♪ La-la, la-la, la... ♪ 342 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:28,362 (crowd chanting) Magicfreek! Magicfreek! 343 00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:30,781 It's too late. We can't stop him. 344 00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,786 Something's wrong. The trick isn't working. 345 00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:37,454 Dad, don't die! 346 00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:39,873 -I'll get him out! -No. 347 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:43,043 -We must not interfere. -You're just gonna stand there? 348 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,421 No. With my back, I got to sit. 349 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,589 CREGG (muffled): Help! 350 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,967 -(sighs) Ah. -(groans) 351 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:54,471 Aw, I can't stand you looking at me that way. 352 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,223 -That's better. -(scoffs) 353 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,645 -CREGG (muffled): Help me! -He's going to die! 354 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,731 Lisa, magicians hate to be rescued. 355 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,315 Now, if you'll excuse me, 356 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,484 I have to go to the little magicians' room. 357 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:14,074 I guess it's up to me to save you, Cregg Demon Magicfreek. 358 00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:16,744 You ain't saving nobody demon nothing freek! 359 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,829 Ricky Jay? David Copperfield? 360 00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:20,748 Penn? (gasps) 361 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,041 Teller! 362 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:25,627 We switched the trick milk can with a regular milk can. 363 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:26,879 But why? 364 00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,297 -Because, when he... -Quiet! 365 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:31,175 You talk onstage, I talk offstage. 366 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,135 That was the curse the witch put on us. 367 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,179 He stole all our best tricks. 368 00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:38,432 And he stole my sexiest magical gestures. 369 00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:40,309 Like this one-- ah. 370 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,560 Aw... 371 00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:44,646 Wait, I know he's an unethical magician 372 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,732 and his tattoos are an inconsistent mix 373 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,609 of hieroglyphics and cuneiforms, 374 00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:50,903 but he doesn't deserve to die. 375 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:52,321 We ain't asking, kid. 376 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:53,947 Get her! 377 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,157 (screams) 378 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,826 (whimpers) 379 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:58,994 (grunting) 380 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,830 (chainsaw buzzing) 381 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,791 Penn, just drop them! 382 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:06,919 I can't! I never learned how! 383 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:11,590 (roars) 384 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,300 I'll save you, Lisa! 385 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,054 (muffled grunting) 386 00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:20,974 The real magic is raising three kids in this economy! 387 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,393 You can put the ball back now. 388 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,565 Hands off my apprentice, amateurs! 389 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,983 (gasps) 390 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,026 Raymondo? 391 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,903 I thought I killed you in Marrakesh. 392 00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,279 That was my twin brother. 393 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,989 Ruined a lot of my tricks. 394 00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,991 We might as well finish the job now. 395 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,285 To show you we mean business, 396 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:43,664 I'm unbuttoning my shirt and turning on a fan. 397 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,415 -(fan whirring) -Wah. Oh, yeah. 398 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:46,875 It's magical. 399 00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:53,882 (buzzing, crackling) 400 00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:57,845 I'm just an old man. 401 00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,806 How could I ever hope to fight you all? 402 00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:02,933 Except... with this! 403 00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:04,434 (laughter) 404 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:07,479 (pained grunting) 405 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:10,941 My beautiful body, no longer properly lit. 406 00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:13,277 (gasps) My ponytail's been burnt! 407 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:16,780 Teller, the witch's curse is broken! 408 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,241 Penn, there never was a curse. 409 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,034 You're a real jerk, you know that? 410 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,787 Raymondo, I knew your heart was as pure 411 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:26,165 as the ether that helps you get to sleep. 412 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,625 Raymondo? 413 00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:34,548 I believe the expression is "ta-da"! 414 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:36,758 (groans weakly) Hey, whassup? 415 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,635 (coughing) 416 00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:41,263 Let's go home, Dad. 417 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:42,973 I'm through with magic, son. 418 00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,934 I'm gonna move back to Canada and run for Parliament. 419 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,565 And here you go. 420 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:54,735 "Do not give your coat to..." Damn it! 421 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,530 (music playing) 422 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,414 (cheering, applause) 423 00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:12,252 So that's why Lisa excused herself a few minutes ago. 424 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,296 Now, once again, 425 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,132 one of the most promising young magicians 426 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,719 I have ever seen-- The Great Simpsina! 427 00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,429 -(cheering, applause) -Knock 'em dead, kid. 428 00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,473 I'll be in my dressing room. 429 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,849 (humming) 430 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,521 Tell me if she falls. 431 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:36,068 Abraca-Milhouse! 432 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,447 (gas hissing softly) 433 00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:42,991 Hello, Harvey. 434 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,786 I've probably had enough. 435 00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:47,663 Eh, a little more couldn't hurt. 436 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,082 (inhales deeply) 437 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:53,961 (music playing) 438 00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:09,810 {\an8}(banjo intro plays) 439 00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:11,270 {\an8}EWELL FREESTONE: ♪ And the year's fourth peach ♪ 440 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,854 {\an8}♪ Is a moldy peach ♪ 441 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,148 {\an8}♪ Shame on the man that sells him ♪ 442 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,985 {\an8}♪ Now, the year's fifth peach is a fuzzy peach ♪ 443 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:20,570 {\an8}♪ Its kisses are quite ticklish ♪ 444 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,407 {\an8}♪ And the year's sixth peach is a brining peach ♪ 445 00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:25,951 {\an8}♪ It tastes so fine and picklish ♪ 446 00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,662 {\an8}♪ And the year's seventh peach is a learned peach ♪ 447 00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:31,081 {\an8}♪ It's working on a novel ♪ 448 00:21:31,164 --> 00:21:33,959 {\an8}♪ But the year's eighth peach is a real proud peach ♪ 449 00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:36,461 {\an8}♪ You'll never see it grovel ♪ 450 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,214 {\an8}♪ Oh, the year's ninth peach is a tough old peach ♪ 451 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,675 {\an8}♪ But he'll make a hearty stew ♪ 452 00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:44,803 {\an8}♪ And the year's tenth peach is a rotten peach ♪ 453 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:46,638 {\an8}♪ Take a whiff, P-U ♪ 454 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,557 {\an8}-♪ Now the-- ♪ -Shh. 455 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,475 {\an8}EWELL: You shush yourself. 456 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:54,980 {\an8}Subtitled by A. Vandelay