1
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CHORUS SINGS:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,846
(exclaims)
3
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,310
(school bell ringing)
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00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:22,689
(belches)
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(whistle blows)
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(yells)
7
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(beeping)
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(playing the blues)
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(tires screeching)
10
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D'oh!
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00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:49,382
(tires screeching)
12
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,009
(grunts)
13
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,188
Excellent.
14
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:12,572
{\an8}(laughing)
15
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{\an8}(screams)
16
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{\an8}Don't worry.
I'll put out the flames.
17
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:22,916
{\an8}-(thuds)
-(groans)
18
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:25,251
{\an8}Oops! I used
the wrong end.
19
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,837
{\an8}(muffled grumbling)
20
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{\an8}(groaning)
21
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{\an8}(laughing)
22
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{\an8}Hilarious!
23
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{\an8}I don't like this.
24
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{\an8}Real humor comes from people
being nice to each other.
25
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:38,932
{\an8}Aw, come on, Marge.
26
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,768
{\an8}There's nothing funnier than
a good old bonk on the head.
27
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,603
{\an8}-I concur.
-D'oh!
28
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,563
{\an8}-(giggling)
-Not funny.
29
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{\an8}Good night kids, and don't
forget, Krusty loves you!
30
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{\an8}MAN:
That's a wrap!
31
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{\an8}And you kids
in the studio audience,
32
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{\an8}please hand back all the hats,
toys, and savings bonds
33
00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:56,741
{\an8}I passed out during the taping.
34
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,493
{\an8}(kids exclaiming sadly)
35
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,665
{\an8}Great show, Krusty.
36
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:05,583
{\an8}Terrific!
We've got to make changes.
37
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{\an8}Big changes.
38
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{\an8}These are your ratings
with young girls.
39
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,256
{\an8}Hey, if my writers knew
how to appeal to girls,
40
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,633
{\an8}they wouldn't
be writers.
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{\an8}First of all, we love being
in the Krusty business.
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{\an8}The subtitle:
"We don't trust you at all."
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{\an8}Anyway, we're giving you
a new female costar
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{\an8}-and she starts Monday.
-What?!
45
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,727
{\an8}A new costar?!
46
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,230
{\an8}Suppose I refuse to go along
with this?
47
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,065
{\an8}Then we've got
an entire reality show
48
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,109
{\an8}all set to pick
the new you.
49
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,695
{\an8}Hey, hey!
I'm non-union!
50
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,822
{\an8}Okay, okay. Change the show
however you want!
51
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,158
{\an8}Make it exactly like the
other crap on your network,
52
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,160
{\an8}but just let me stay!
53
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:42,912
{\an8}(sobs):
Just don't fire me.
54
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,081
{\an8}Now that's groveling.
55
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,458
{\an8}Time to try out
my new deep fryer.
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00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,043
{\an8}Who wants fresh doughnuts?
57
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{\an8}-Me! Me! Me-me-me!
-Me! Me! Me-me-me!
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{\an8}And I even got
rainbow sprinkles.
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{\an8}Some rainbow--
there's no violet.
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{\an8}Then don't have any.
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00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:57,927
{\an8}Hey, don't listen to me!
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{\an8}What do I know
about rainbows?
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{\an8}(smacking lips)
Mmm.
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{\an8}None for me, Marge.
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{\an8}I get free doughnuts at work.
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00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,475
{\an8}I can see them now.
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{\an8}In the break room,
beside the fridge,
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00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,646
{\an8}the pink cardboard box awaits.
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{\an8}Groaning with a "United Nations"
of doughnuts:
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00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,360
{\an8}jellies rubbing elbows
with cream-filled,
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00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,946
{\an8}the masculine contours
of the box juxtaposed
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{\an8}with the feminine curves
of the treats themselves.
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{\an8}Why didn't you
try to stop him?
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{\an8}I did, once.
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{\an8}(humming happily)
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{\an8}(exclaims)
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{\an8}No pink box?
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{\an8}Wha-What's going on?
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{\an8}I'm afraid your daily
doughnuts are no more.
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00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:35,215
{\an8}You. Can't. Do. That.
81
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{\an8}Until Mr. Roosevelt's
New Deal starts working,
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{\an8}this country's still
in a depression.
83
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,887
{\an8}I'm spending
a fortune on atoms,
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00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,055
{\an8}and we have to cut costs.
85
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,598
{\an8}But we have
way more expensive
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{\an8}unnecessaries
than doughnuts.
87
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,935
{\an8}Yeah, like the ceiling
furniture.
88
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{\an8}Or all the joke ID badges
we order.
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{\an8}No doughnuts!
90
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:51,689
{\an8}-No!
-D'oh!
91
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:52,607
{\an8}Nuts!
92
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:54,025
{\an8}Exactly.
93
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,403
{\an8}Hey! Hey!
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{\an8}But seriously,
hey, hey, kids.
95
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{\an8}A word about today's show.
96
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,243
{\an8}The network "geniuses"
97
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,828
{\an8}with the ink still drying
on their MBAs...
98
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,789
{\an8}(derisive laughter)
99
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:10,875
{\an8}...think your old pal Krusty
should share his limelight
100
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,044
{\an8}with an up-and-coming new star.
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00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:15,046
{\an8}Let's give a respectful
welcome
102
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{\an8}to Princess Penelope.
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(sparse applause)
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♪♪
105
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♪ Where do I keep
my princess-ness? ♪
106
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♪ It's not in my jewels
or my crown ♪
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♪ It's not in the smiles
of my handmaids three ♪
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♪ Who hold up the train ♪
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♪ Of my gown ♪
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♪ It's the part of me
that wants to be ♪
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♪ The girl whom
everyone flatters ♪
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(groans)
113
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♪ 'Cause in her heart ♪
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♪ A princess knows ♪
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♪ She's the only girl
who matters ♪
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(trilling high note)
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I can't keep
watching this dreck.
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(relieved sigh)
119
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:19,652
Much better.
120
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,904
First, girls ruined
Sex and the City.
121
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Now this.
122
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I agree it's cliché,
123
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,159
but she does
have a certain...
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(gasps) Unicorn!
125
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(exclaims)
126
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,583
That is so fake.
127
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You can see the strap
on the horn.
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Just give me this!
129
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,089
Easy there,
Habitrail.
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They took away
our doughnuts at work.
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-All I've had are my meals.
-And the worst thing is,
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there's nothing
we can do about it.
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I think that's
the best thing
134
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,765
'cause then you
can say, "Well,
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00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,433
there's nothing
we can do about it."
136
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,269
Bartender, buy these men
a round on me.
137
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,271
You want to
"buy a round?"
138
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,065
I heard about that
in bartending school,
139
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,025
but I never seen it happen.
140
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,985
Oh, this is very good for me.
141
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,487
Very good indeed.
142
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,614
Gator McCall.
I'm a headhunter.
143
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(screams)
144
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:06,991
(chuckles)
145
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,409
I'm a corporate recruiter
146
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who specializes
in nuclear workers.
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00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:13,956
I guess these days,
headhunters can be anything.
148
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You nuclear workers have no idea
how valuable you are.
149
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:18,961
Times have never been better
for your industry,
150
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,297
now that all the protesters
who marched in front
151
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,965
of nuclear power plants
are dying off
152
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,384
from radiation poisoning.
153
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,719
Are these business cards
154
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,679
or passports to a better future?
155
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,640
-Those are business cards.
-Nice.
156
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,102
Krusty, thanks
to Princess Penelope,
157
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,686
your studio audience is packed.
158
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:38,523
And we didn't need
any cardboard kids.
159
00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:40,942
Yeah, but they're
all girls.
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00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:43,319
Girls don't laugh,
and they don't buy cigars.
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00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,239
Dutch Masters is gonna
drop us like a hot potato.
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-(music plays, excited chatter)
-Hey, hey, kids!
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00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:49,367
Let's see what's in the news.
164
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I see we reached a soft timber
agreement with Canada.
165
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,956
GIRLS (chanting):
We want the Princess!
166
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,290
Don't forget
the unicorn!
167
00:06:56,374 --> 00:07:00,253
Did I hear the sound
of wishes being wished?
168
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:01,671
(girls clamoring):
Yes! Yes!
169
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,381
♪♪
170
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:07,176
♪ Glitter and sparkle,
one, two, three ♪
171
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:11,472
♪ You're all princesses
just like me. ♪
172
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:15,143
(sneezing)
173
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,604
Breathin' all this stuff
can't be good.
174
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:19,856
Poor Krusty.
175
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,233
He's become the lowest form
of life: a sidekick.
176
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:23,901
You said it, Bart.
177
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,236
Way to sum up the situation.
178
00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:26,904
Take it easy, little buddy.
179
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,990
That's exactly
how I'll take it.
180
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:37,665
-Wanna come in
and get your sister with me?
-Hell, no.
181
00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,625
Watch your language.
Now, why the hell not?
182
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,961
Ah, The Krusty Show
sucks now.
183
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:43,880
It's all pink and princessy.
184
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,048
Why are great things
always ruined by women?
185
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,009
The Army, the Fantastic Four.
186
00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:49,844
Think how awesome
American Idol
187
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,262
would be with just
Simon and Randy.
188
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,306
(chuckles)
189
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:54,807
Oh, Bart, you say that now.
190
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,143
But when you're grown-up,
you'll just think it.
191
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,895
Now you stay here
and I'll get your sister.
192
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,229
(humming)
193
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,024
Princess Penelope,
sign mine, sign mine!
194
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,739
(gasps)
195
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,574
What the...?!
196
00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:15,119
Where's all your Krusty stuff?
197
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,121
Right through
that magical door.
198
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,250
(gasps)
199
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,418
Ay carumba!
200
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,587
(groans)
201
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,383
Krusty?
202
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,011
Snap out of it!
203
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,554
You're Krusty the Clown.
204
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,681
One of Look magazine's
hundred most-promising clowns
205
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,391
of 1958.
206
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:40,102
A lot of suicides
in that group.
207
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,564
Funny suicides (chuckles),
but still.
208
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:44,899
My day is over, kid.
209
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,526
What are you talking about?
210
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,110
Whose name is on that sign?
211
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:52,532
D'oh!
212
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:56,953
-(Krusty doll laughing)
-Hey, how'd this one
get way over here?
213
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,333
That's it. I've hit rock-bottom.
214
00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,335
Well, my comeback starts now.
215
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,172
I mean, now. Ow!
216
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,800
Let me start by getting
out of the Dumpster.
217
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:14,512
Oh, why do clown things
always happen to clowns?
218
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:23,187
Now other nuclear plants
let their employees
219
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,315
tape Gary Larson cartoons
on their workstations.
220
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,819
But here at Cap City Nuclear,
you can actually see...
221
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,070
Gary Larson.
222
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,573
Gary Larson?!
I thought you retired.
223
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:34,991
I was retired
224
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,368
until I got the call
from Capital City Nuclear,
225
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:38,995
offering me the chance to be
226
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,705
the in-house cartoonist
at a nuclear plant.
227
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:43,207
Gary, why don't you whip up
an instant classic
228
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,002
-for my friends here?
-You got it, Gator.
229
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:53,718
Man, a lion would not want
to see that on his X-ray.
230
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,805
(New York accent):
Where are you? Where?
231
00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:01,726
You're not even in Nassau County
anymore. You're in Suffolk.
232
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,812
Look, look, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
233
00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:05,771
You're going the wrong way.
234
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:06,897
-(knocking)
-Hold on.
235
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,399
(lilting voice):
Coming!
236
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:10,901
Now see here,
Little Miss Scene Stealer,
237
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:12,403
I'm the star of this show.
238
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:14,530
You're just the reason
people tune in.
239
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,866
(New York accent):
Krusty, there's something
I have to tell you.
240
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,951
No, no! Let me finish:
241
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,828
I work like I drink: alone.
242
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,121
Or with a monkey watching me.
243
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,582
Krusty... I love you.
244
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:27,627
That way, if I pass out,
he turns me on my side so...
245
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,919
You what?!
246
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:32,965
I have loved you since
I was a 12-year-old girl,
247
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,718
in Mineola, Long Island,
watching your show.
248
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,428
WDQT?
249
00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:39,972
They had this fat,
pathetic station manager.
250
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,807
-That was my father.
-Great guy.
251
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,852
I still have my
Krusty Klub ring.
252
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:48,814
I wasn't popular because I was
more beautiful and friendly
253
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,066
than everyone else,
254
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,734
but whenever I looked
at this ring,
255
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,945
I knew I had one friend.
256
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,406
You know those rings came
with a membership card.
257
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,242
That's the one.
258
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,746
Oh, my God.
259
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:06,457
Please don't tell me I died
on the operating table again.
260
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:07,500
You didn't.
261
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,960
This is real, Krusty.
262
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:12,546
(nervous chuckle)
263
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:24,266
Welcome to
the Krusty and Princess Penelope
264
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,602
Smoochie-Poo I Love You Hour.
265
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,146
No laughs, just
hugs and cuddles.
266
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,564
Don't worry.
267
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,024
Mr. Teeny's got
a flaming arrow.
268
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,156
Oh, yuck.
269
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:47,206
(to the tune of "This Old Man")
♪ This old clown, tee-hee-hee ♪
270
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,458
♪ He's as happy as can be ♪
271
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,961
♪ 'Cause I got a girlfriend
under 33... ♪
272
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,088
-Boo!
-Boo!
273
00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:56,716
I walked 19 miles for this?
274
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,552
♪ Can't you kids be
glad for me? ♪
275
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,306
♪ I am her, she is me ♪
276
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,351
♪ I'm just like Penelope... ♪
277
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,397
♪ It's still on
in my head ♪
278
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,691
♪ It will be there
till I'm dead... ♪
279
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:14,734
(groans)
280
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,485
(humming tune)
281
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:20,239
Whether she was competing
in equestrian events
282
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:24,702
at the 1976 Olympics or spending
her summers at Holyrood Palace,
283
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,413
Princess Anne is truly
a world leader.
284
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,044
Okay, so far, for
"Inspirational Women Day"
285
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,547
we've had one Princess Anne,
15 Dianas,
286
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:39,759
two baby Princess
Ingrid Alexandras of Norway,
287
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,010
and one Princess Leia.
288
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,429
-I'm a Star Wars.
-(sighs)
289
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:48,392
(satisfied moan)
290
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:52,313
I don't care what anyone says.
Massages are relaxing.
291
00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:55,816
Now if you boys sign up
with Cap City Nuclear,
292
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,067
you'll get weekly massages,
293
00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:00,404
plus free sushi
right through the face hole.
294
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,828
Sir, I have some
unsettling news:
295
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,914
three of our workers
are being poached.
296
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,373
The heart
of our tug-of-war team.
297
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:14,043
No. No, this is our year.
How can this be happening?
298
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,504
Sir, I'm afraid your
doughnut-cutting measures,
299
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:19,215
while reasonable, were
perceived as draconian.
300
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:22,468
Comparing me to old Draco, eh?
301
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:24,637
I'll have to do
something about this.
302
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:28,474
(cracking)
303
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,187
(lush romantic music playing)
304
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:38,442
♪ I was a parched
little seedling ♪
305
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:43,781
♪ Until you were
watered with love ♪
306
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:50,663
♪ Love, love, love,
love, love. ♪
307
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,248
Stop the music!
308
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,707
Thank God.
309
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,709
I'm sick and tired
of this woman...
310
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,002
Yes!
311
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,629
...not being married to me.
312
00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:00,005
Huh?
313
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:04,134
Penelope, will you be
my princess bride?
314
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:09,056
Oh, Krusty, yes! Yes!
315
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,766
(trilling high note)
316
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,018
That's it. Game over.
317
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,437
Is it, Bart? Is it?
318
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:16,814
What are you talking about?
319
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,692
A wedding is a
complex thing, Bart.
320
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:22,319
It's so easy for
something to go wrong.
321
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:23,779
(gasps)
322
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,615
Milhouse Van Houten,
will you do me the honor
323
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,701
of ruining Krusty's
wedding with me?
324
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:31,912
Oh, Bart, this is
all happening so fast.
325
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,789
Let's call my mom together.
326
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:42,965
Goodbye, power plant.
327
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:46,886
(sobbing)
I'd better get out of here
before I have a meltdown.
328
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:50,848
If I hadn't had to work in you,
we might've been friends.
329
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:52,516
So long.
330
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:56,478
Oh, right.
331
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,566
(all gasping)
332
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:03,861
Gentlemen.
333
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:06,822
Please don't leave me.
334
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,741
Sir, I'm afraid
it's too late.
335
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:11,410
Oh, I imagine Cap City's
been wooing you
336
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:12,953
with trips to the seashore,
337
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:15,247
a Christmas goose,
Spanish lemons,
338
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,665
folderol I can't
afford to match.
339
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,377
But please, accept this
little going-away present.
340
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:21,795
(scoffs)
341
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,590
You can't win us back
with mere doughnuts.
342
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:27,217
Oh, but these aren't
just any doughnuts.
343
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:30,346
These doughnuts were made
the old-fashioned way:
344
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,765
the dough is sweetened
with Cuban sugar
345
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:36,685
from pre-Batista plantations,
then it's deep-fried
346
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,938
in the tallow of three
different animals,
347
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,106
two of which are now extinct.
348
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,900
Hmm?
349
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,822
(Delibes' "The Flower Duet"
playing)
350
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:53,077
That is the most amazing
doughnut I've ever tasted.
351
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,913
Well, if you stay on at the
Springfield Nuclear Plant,
352
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,248
you could have one of these
tasty beauties every day.
353
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,626
(groans)
354
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,461
One of these every day
might kill us.
355
00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:04,546
Can we get a health plan
to go with them?
356
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,799
Sure, you can have
a health plan...
357
00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,884
or two doughnuts a day.
358
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,887
(moaning ecstatically)
359
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,056
Move over, Brangelina.
360
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,308
Take a backseat,
Queen Latifarod.
361
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,311
Because today belongs
to "Krustelope."
362
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:21,438
This is the 15th marriage
for Krusty,
363
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:23,399
and the first for
"Princess Penelope,"
364
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,025
who is not, in fact,
a real princess.
365
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,860
Her actual name is:
366
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:31,240
Penelope Mountbatten Hapsburg
Hohenzollern Mulan-Pocahontas.
367
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,412
(singing in Hebrew)
368
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,838
(clearing throat)
369
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,923
Well, let's do the ceremony.
370
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,300
("Bridal March" playing)
371
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:56,432
Friends, loved ones,
we are gathered here today
372
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,226
to marry a Jew and a...
373
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:02,604
Congregationalist--
is that even a thing?
374
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,149
And now, let's continue
with this mockery.
375
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,859
Hmm? Hmm?
376
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,527
You're not my ring bearer.
377
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,070
What happened to the monkey?
378
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,488
I locked him in the Torah room.
379
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:14,867
(chattering)
380
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,744
Kid, what's your angle?
381
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,954
I'm trying to seal
the deal over here.
382
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,165
Princess, before
you marry Krusty,
383
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:22,332
there's someone
you should meet.
384
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:23,792
Holly Hippie.
385
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:28,130
Krusty's sidekick in 1969
and his first wife.
386
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,090
He wouldn't let me watch
the moon landing.
387
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:33,093
I was jealous of
Neil Armstrong.
388
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,054
And his last wife,
Eartha Kitt,
389
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,014
recorded this before
her untimely death.
390
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,433
They were only married
for six hours,
391
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,393
but she still hated Krusty.
392
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,896
He was asleep for
five of those hours.
393
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:47,441
And the one he was awake,
was a cat-tastrophe.
394
00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:48,525
(snarling)
395
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:52,112
Wow, wow, this is
such an eye-opener.
396
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:56,158
I am blown away by how little
this bothers me.
397
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,035
I really love this guy.
398
00:17:58,118 --> 00:18:02,790
And you are the greatest thing
that's ever happened to me.
399
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,542
And that's why
I can't marry you.
400
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,212
This kid and his ugly
sister are right.
401
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,797
I won't be good
enough for ya.
402
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,050
You can never
disappoint me.
403
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,719
I know your past--
your mug shots,
404
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,389
your bowling alley shoe spray
addiction, your country album.
405
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:20,766
They don't bother me.
406
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,518
They don't?
407
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,144
Don't you love me?
408
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:32,027
Princess, you're the only
woman I care about enough
409
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,570
to ditch at the altar.
410
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,197
Okay, Krusty,
411
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,366
if that's how you feel.
412
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,410
We'll always have
Sideshow Mel's dressing room.
413
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,663
What?! Ew!
414
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,711
(lively music playing)
415
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,713
(laughing)
416
00:18:53,090 --> 00:19:03,517
♪ We're after the same
rainbow's end ♪
417
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:08,939
♪ Waiting 'round the bend ♪
418
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:13,068
♪ My huckleberry friend ♪
419
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:21,160
♪ Moon river ♪
420
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:29,751
♪ And me... ♪
421
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,628
(applause)
422
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:34,131
Merci. Merci.
423
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,278
(gasps)
424
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:57,905
Oh...
425
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,823
Just my imagination.
426
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,074
KRUSTY:
No, it wasn't.
427
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,327
I came here looking for you,
and I fell off the boat.
428
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:06,079
(gurgling)
429
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:09,124
Krusty! My Borscht Belt baby!
430
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,046
You changed your mind.
431
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:19,801
Ah, I'd rather be a happy
schnook than a noble shlumpf.
432
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,887
♪♪
433
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,951
♪♪
434
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:26,201
(trilling high note)
435
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,704
{\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem