1
00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:06,756
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:12,679
It's dark.

3
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:25,335
Hot dogs! Not so hot dogs!

4
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,962
Cold and droopy!

5
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:31,716
Fried dough! America's worst legal food!
Never leaves your body!

6
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,760
Wow. The Truth in
Boardwalking Law

7
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,595
has really clone
a number on this place.

8
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:39,057
Shoot an oversized basketball
into an undersized hoop!

9
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:42,978
It's impossible! The prizes
have been here for 50 years!

10
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,694
Maybe we should just check
out the street performers.

11
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:56,866
Big deal!
I could juggle six pins

12
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,952
if they let me
use a unicycle.

13
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,954
Well, if you think
it's too easy,

14
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,539
why don't you throw me
something else?

15
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:05,333
Are you insane?

16
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:08,211
You can't throw a little
boy into my cascade.

17
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,505
Stop tossing kids!

18
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,933
Oh, man. I love Saturdays.

19
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,644
Man, I love Saturdays.

20
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,814
Finally I can have fun with
something I bought for myself,

21
00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:29,983
a new water heater.

22
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,821
Almost there...

23
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:41,578
Five more water heaters and
we get a free water heater.

24
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:51,004
A mysterious door?

25
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,431
It's like a sauna in here.

26
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,100
It is a sauna in here!

27
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,811
It must've been put in
by a previous owner.

28
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,105
This house is
full of surprises,

29
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,483
but this is
the first good one.

30
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,528
I can't wait
to tell everyone.

31
00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,366
This is great, honey.

32
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,634
Thanks for
telling me about it.

33
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,327
I hope you don't mind
I invited Lenny.

34
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:25,330
And I hope you don't mind
I invited Carl and Moe.

35
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:28,333
Yeah, you know, my invitation
didn't say nothing about no towels.

36
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:32,379
So I guess we should all
just go Scandinavian, huh?

37
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:38,551
Maybe I'll keep this
to myself for a while.

38
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,640
Ooh! Lamb kebob!

39
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:46,768
Chicken kebob.

40
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:49,896
Fire kebob!

41
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,940
Dad, no!
Dad, yes!

42
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,944
Water! Thank you!

43
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,993
Why you little...

44
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,996
Burn, Barty, burn!

45
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:16,089
I'm afraid his tongue will be
in that cast for a few weeks.

46
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,633
It may put something of a
cramp in your lovemaking.

47
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:19,717
No, it won't.

48
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,595
If he wants me to do something,
he'll just write it down.

49
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,311
What does it say?
Is it complimentary?

50
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,522
Yeah, sure.
It's complimentary.

51
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:36,484
It is? Hey, everybody!
Check out my compliment!

52
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,076
Now, Homer, how would you
like me to remove it?

53
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,870
Yanky or peely?

54
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:48,872
Got it.

55
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,417
I held up two for peely!

56
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:55,420
I thought that was
a Y for yanky!

57
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:58,298
I'll make a note in your chart
that you aren't always clear.

58
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,675
Well, at least
I can eat again.

59
00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:01,759
Cherry.

60
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,722
Too much cherry!

61
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,932
Lemon!
That'll stop the cherry!

62
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,231
Doctor, why is this
happening to me?

63
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,108
Well, I do have an idea.

64
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:20,069
But just to be sure, let's
run some expensive tests.

65
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:27,660
The fire burned off your old
taste buds, exposing new ones.

66
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,167
That'll be our
Christmas card this year.

67
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,753
Homer, you've become
a supertaster.

68
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,422
The mildest spices
will overwhelm your tongue.

69
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:42,383
Even a taco could
drive you insane.

70
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,595
I can't eat tacos?

71
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:48,556
Oh, my God.
What day of mayo is it?

72
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,682
Cinco.

73
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:55,271
Try these beets.
I boiled all the red out.

74
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,359
I still taste
overtones of pink.

75
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,569
Dad, I got the perfect thing.

76
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:09,786
It feels like food, but it
has no flavor whatsoever.

77
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,497
It's mac and cheese
from the school cafeteria,

78
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,624
the blandest food
known to man.

79
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:15,708
What else do they got?

80
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:20,255
Tofu cubes, tidy joes,
chili con cottage cheese,

81
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:23,716
pecan blandies, cream of
steam, you-guess-thems.

82
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,301
Man, who comes up
with this stuff?

83
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,845
Old comedy writers who now
have to work at our kitchen.

84
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,515
The one rule we had
on Charles in Charge

85
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,892
is, Charles must
always be in charge.

86
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,477
Oh, yeah.
That makes sense to me.

87
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:35,812
That's a great rule.

88
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,357
Lunch card. Lunch card.

89
00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:41,609
Lunch card.
Don't have one.

90
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,236
Dad, what are you doing here?

91
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:47,824
Son, from now on, I'm eating all
my meals here at school with you!

92
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,409
What? No!

93
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,078
Come on. Relax.
I won't embarrass you.

94
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,247
$3.85.

95
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,498
Yeah.

96
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,210
Can I work it off? Don't worry.
I won't embarrass you!

97
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,296
I'll start you on Jell-O.

98
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:06,009
I'm big and yellow
and I'm serving Jell-O.

99
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,678
If you're a fellow
and you want some Jell-O.

100
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,013
You better bellow.

101
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,765
Hey, big guy!
Give me some Jell-O.

102
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:17,520
No Jell-O for you, Bart.
It'll keep you up at night,

103
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,857
like last week when you crawled
into bed with me and Mommy.

104
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:24,652
Sure is hot back here.

105
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,529
And there we go.

106
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,032
Don't worry.
I won't embarrass you.

107
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,166
I used to date your daughter.

108
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:41,586
Buddy, I'm here to eat, not
make interesting conversation.

109
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,880
Dad, do you have to
hang out at my school?

110
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,341
It's bad enough I have to
be here three days a week.

111
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,177
Well! I know when
I'm not wanted!

112
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,054
Am I wanted?

113
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,893
Hi. Homer Simpson. Mind if I
sit near your son? Mine sucks.

114
00:07:56,976 --> 00:08:00,938
Well, we certainly are proud of Noah.
He's a straight-A student.

115
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:04,317
Noah! State capitals,
alphabetical order, on my clap.

116
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:09,489
Albany, Annapolis, Atlanta,
Augusta, Austin, Baton Rouge,

117
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:14,160
Bismarck, Boise, Boston,
Capital City, Carson City.

118
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:17,830
Wow. He's terrified of you.

119
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,541
That's why I'm here. To make
sure he gets good grades.

120
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:21,626
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

121
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:25,046
You come to school to
help him get good grades?

122
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:28,549
Isn't that why we pay public school
teachers those enormous salaries?

123
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,468
Well, call me over-involved,

124
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:33,846
but someday, your son will
be my son's chauffeur.

125
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:37,100
Well, I hope your son
enjoys being driven around

126
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,894
by the President
of the United States.

127
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:43,356
Really? Let's see what the future
president's doing right now.

128
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,325
You don't see many
presidents doing that.

129
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,577
Maybe LBJ,
you know, at the end.

130
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:59,247
It's not your son's fault.
It's yours.

131
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:02,458
You have to hover over your kid's
shoulder to force him to succeed.

132
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,293
It's called
helicopter parenting.

133
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,003
I don't have to
helicopter Bart.

134
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,881
I've got a backup plan
called Lisa.

135
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:12,343
Oh, right. Your second grader.
Sure she's smart,

136
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:15,513
but how could she be successful
if she's not popular?

137
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:17,932
Do you mind if I join you?

138
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,892
Well, that depends.
What are you eating?

139
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,228
Baked potato,
side salad, and a...

140
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,689
Well, we're having
cold shoulder.

141
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,736
Is this seat taken?

142
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,529
No. Go ahead. Take it.

143
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,197
Take it way over there.

144
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,163
Oh, my God.

145
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:44,167
My son's a loser
and my daughter's a loner.

146
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,585
Way t0 g0, Marge!

147
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:50,381
Marge, where have you been?

148
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,674
Well, I...

149
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,093
No time! I'll just
deduce where you were

150
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,220
from a list of
possibilities in my head.

151
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,767
That makes sense. Moving on.

152
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,810
If we don't get more
involved in their lives,

153
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,645
Bart and Lisa are
gonna be failures,

154
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,315
failures who work for Noah!

155
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,984
Noah. I like that name.

156
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:12,195
Noah.

157
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,947
New-ah. Noah.

158
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,074
Aren't you the one who
usually worries about stuff?

159
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,701
Am I'.>

160
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:23,831
If Marge doesn't worry about
the kids, then that leaves me!

161
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,583
Help me, mayonnaise!

162
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:39,222
Look at all these
helicopter parents.

163
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,849
I hope Bart's
doing okay on his own.

164
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,524
There's no future in that!

165
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:50,817
Don't forget, children.

166
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,444
Monday is the balsa wood
model building competition.

167
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:55,947
The American Balsa Council
will award this year's winner

168
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:59,659
a $1000 savings bond
for their college education.

169
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:04,121
$1000? That's what
my house is worth.

170
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,415
Bart Simpson,
what will you be making?

171
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,626
I don't know.

172
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:15,925
Time to take control of my son's life.
Let's see. What can he build?

173
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,595
Too obvious.

174
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,266
Gotta be something
from earth.

175
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,143
You're no help!

176
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,730
Perfect.

177
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,279
"The Washington Monument?"

178
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,323
Washington Monument.

179
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,158
I like Bart's idea.

180
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:42,451
You're not in this class.

181
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,203
Willie swept me in here.

182
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,288
My mistake.

183
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:52,545
I did it. I helped my son.
Helicopter Homer, away!

184
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:57,049
Black Hawk down!
Black Hawk down!

185
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,759
Lisa, I found this book

186
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,363
in the "What's wrong with my
daughter" section of the bookstore.

187
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,556
It tells you how
you can get popular.

188
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:06,684
Dad, if I join a clique, I'll
be the kind of person I hate.

189
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,145
Sweetie, our country
was founded by a clique,

190
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:12,565
the Continental Congress!
Dolphins swim in cliques.

191
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,275
Those are my two examples.

192
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,694
Well, they are good ones.

193
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,654
And to show you
how this book works,

194
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,115
I will demonstrate
on some rats.

195
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:28,998
Let's try what chapter seven
calls "Unsults,"

196
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,709
insults disguised
as compliments.

197
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:33,336
Hey, Lenny.

198
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,422
It takes a lot of courage
to wear suspenders

199
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,424
when you're not
in the circus.

200
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,760
Well, that's very
nice of you... Hey!

201
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,720
Are you saying my clothes
are clown-like?

202
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:45,973
Oh, God. I feel so insecure.
Please be my friend.

203
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,768
See? It works. And unsults
are just the beginning.

204
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:51,562
There's also
"Envytations," "Hate hugs,".

205
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,773
"Spamming with
faint praise," and...

206
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,609
Hey, everyone,
wanna go get frozen yogurt?

207
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:57,860
I do...
Yeah!

208
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:01,948
I'm sorry, Moe. I didn't
mean "everyone" everyone.

209
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,616
Hope you don't mind?

210
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,076
No. That's all right.

211
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:14,877
If I didn't sell booze, they
probably wouldn't even come here!

212
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:21,217
And that, my dear girl, is
called the Toledo Take-back.

213
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,636
Dad, I don't want to
hurt people's feelings.

214
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:27,431
I see. Well, maybe you're
not ready for this book.

215
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,142
It is more of
a big girl thing.

216
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,269
I'm a big girl!
I'm a big girl!

217
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:39,318
One of you said something
bad about the other.

218
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:41,112
He did?
He did?

219
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,830
Son, you buy an awful lot of airplane
glue, but you never buy any models.

220
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,165
Oh, right. Models.

221
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:57,753
One Messerschmitt 262,
a '67 SS GTO,

222
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,423
an Alfred E. Neuman,
with interchangeable arms.

223
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:08,848
We'd like some
balsa wood, please.

224
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,225
Enough to build
a Washington Monument.

225
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:12,727
What scale are you using?

226
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,104
What cologne are you wearing?
None of your business!

227
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,689
Now we'd like our
Washington Monument

228
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:19,650
to be one-five hundredth
the size of the real one.

229
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:23,863
Washington Monument?
Aren't you gonna even try?

230
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,698
What do you mean?
And who are you?

231
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,116
I'm your son's principal.

232
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:30,327
And the Washington Monument is the
most uninspired model choice there is.

233
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:33,289
It's like saying, "I don't care.
My kid's a loser."

234
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,999
But... You...

235
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,209
What's the hardest model
there is?

236
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:40,129
That would be,
Westminster Abbey.

237
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:43,841
Attention, parents, children
and childless weirdoes,

238
00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:48,220
my son and I are going
to build Westminster Abbey!

239
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,014
You've gotta be crazy!

240
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,849
Prepare to be frustrated.

241
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:54,518
You won't get past
the north transept!

242
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,980
Hey, how hard can it be? All we
have to do is follow the directions.

243
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:11,410
Marge, the boy and I will
be making Westminster Abbey.

244
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,081
Blabby's gonna
build an abbey. Groovy.

245
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,708
But first, as part of
Operation Popularity,

246
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,336
Lisa and I are hosting a
"Decorate Your Own Cell Phone"

247
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:21,420
party in the backyard.

248
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,007
Britney and Caitlin are here!
Where's my spray-on tan?

249
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,516
Why do I always
read the labels after?

250
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,437
Ladies, we've got it all.
Rhinestones, stickers, tassels,

251
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:42,274
everything to make those $100
phones look like $5 toys!

252
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,652
Lisa, this party is twisted!

253
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:45,778
You're fierce!

254
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,281
I've never been
called fierce before.

255
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:52,493
Strident. Hectoring
has been tossed around.

256
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:54,453
Let me take a picture
of you for my cell phone.

257
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,038
I'll put you on my desktop.

258
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,998
I'm gonna make you
my friend on Facebook.

259
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,792
Please confirm.
Confirmed!

260
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:08,050
I am such a great parent
to both my kids.

261
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:11,095
Hello, little girl.
Who do you belong to?

262
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,725
Hey, boy.
Why don't I do that for you?

263
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,145
Isn't this supposed
to be my project?

264
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,605
All the other parents
are doing it for their kids.

265
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,483
Now stand back and
I'll take it from here.

266
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,153
A little further back.

267
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,089
Do you want me
to watch and learn?

268
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:30,698
No. That kind of
creeps me out.

269
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:37,580
Must finish Poets' Corner
or Bart will work for Noah

270
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,290
with his hot mom.

271
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:51,218
That's not Henry VII! That's Henry VI!
Stupid, stupid, stupid!

272
00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:55,264
Homer, don't give up till
you finish my dear abbey!

273
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,017
Geoffrey Chaucer?
What are you doing here?

274
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,518
Well, I'm buried here,

275
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:02,688
and I want to tell you you're right
to do all Bart's work for him.

276
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,857
It's the best thing
for the boy.

277
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:06,650
That's terrible advice.

278
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,027
Anne of Kleves?

279
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:11,322
What you do for your son, he'll
never learn to do for himself.

280
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:14,658
And where is this
delightful boy?

281
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,868
Oscar Wilde?

282
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:19,038
Homer, there are only
two tragedies in life.

283
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:22,875
One is not getting what one wants,
and the other is getting it.

284
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,501
But that makes no sense!

285
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:28,756
Experience is simply the
name we give to our mistakes.

286
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:29,882
Shut up!

287
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:34,345
These days, man knows the price of
everything and the value of nothing.

288
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,472
Whatever happened to "boo"?

289
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:54,406
Now we could smash the real Westminster
Abbey so it looks like this.

290
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:59,495
There are no
flights to London till 5:00.

291
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,414
Welcome to
Springfield Elementary's.

292
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:05,334
Next Top Model
Building Contest.

293
00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:08,462
Kenny, he said your show.

294
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:10,422
I watched it once!

295
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:13,008
Now, judges,
start your nodding.

296
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,766
Flawless. Stunning.
Awe-inspiring.

297
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:21,850
Meticulous.

298
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,358
Skinner!

299
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:33,570
These models are clearly
the work of meddling parents.

300
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:36,323
The only entry that
repels my eye enough

301
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:39,493
to be constructed by
a student is this one.

302
00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:43,455
Congratulations, son. At
least you followed the rules.

303
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,417
Yes! Yes!
In your face, losers!

304
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,794
This helicopter
is taking off!

305
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,131
No! Stop the hovering!

306
00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:00,389
I didn't make this terrible model.
My dad did.

307
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,976
Why can't you guys let us
do things for ourselves?

308
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:08,814
In the words of Oscar Wilde, "Experience is
simply the name we give to our mistakes."

309
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:10,149
I saw him, too, Dad.

310
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:13,402
I'm sorry.
I got carried away.

311
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:18,032
From now on, the only thing I'll ever
do for you is cosign if you want a gun.

312
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,117
Well, at least
I made Lisa popular.

313
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,829
"I H8 this"?

314
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,835
I'm sorry, Dad. These girls
are nice on the surface.

315
00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:34,173
But it's hard work staying this shallow.
I hope you understand.

316
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,216
Yeah. It's clear to me now.

317
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:40,179
The best thing I can do as a
parent is simply check out.

318
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,930
No, there's
a middle ground.

319
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,392
Lisa, a light bulb
is either on or it's off.

320
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,269
Not if you use
a dimmer switch.

321
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,606
That's what the dimmer switch
companies want you to think.

322
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,277
What's wrong, Homie?

323
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,654
I tried to fix
the kids' lives.

324
00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,282
But instead, I led them
to rich and rewarding

325
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,659
personal decisions
of their own.

326
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:09,166
Well, I know a place in this
house where you can really relax.

327
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,627
The mattress the dog
sleeps on in the cellar?

328
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,338
No. I gave that to
the homeless shelter.

329
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,632
That was stuffed with cash!

330
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:19,635
Well, I'll make you
forget all about it.

331
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,932
Feeling better, Super Dad?

332
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,266
Oh, yeah.

333
00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:37,736
I feel like I've died
and gone to hell.

334
00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:48,789
The Simpsons.

335
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:37,546
English - US - PSDH