1
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:06,923
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:31,573
Lemonade! Sweet sunshine
in your mouth!

3
00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:33,366
Buy a cup or I
punch my sister!

4
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,744
It's true!
He's not bluffing!

5
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,459
Maybe we should put a dollar
in the jar, prime the pump.

6
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,586
What are we?
A piano bar?

7
00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,675
I'll take 15 lemonades.

8
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,219
Make that 16.

9
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:57,057
Lousy dog. If you had your
way, I'd walk you every day.

10
00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,809
Lemonade!

11
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,563
Stop pushing.

12
00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:06,399
Six cups, please.
And put it on my tab.

13
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,443
Keep moving, deadbeat.
Cash only.

14
00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:10,737
Fine. Lemonade's
for babies, anyways.

15
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,572
I'm going to
Moe's for beer!

16
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,492
Have fun drinking
your lemonade, babies!

17
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,750
Lisa? Can Daddy
borrow your bike?

18
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:24,960
I guess.

19
00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,608
Hey, Moe. Give me a...
Homer, shush.

20
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,986
We're watching Krabappel try
to break up with Skinner.

21
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:54,739
Seymour, I have something
difficult I want to say to you.

22
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:55,907
I understand.

23
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:59,619
It can be very difficult for
a woman to propose marriage.

24
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:01,913
But I am willing to go
halfsies on a ring.

25
00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:04,791
Seymour... Excuse me.

26
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,837
Any of you lugs want to break
up with my boyfriend for me?

27
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:09,921
I'll buy you a beer.

28
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,173
Seymour, Edna asked me
to talk to you.

29
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:15,093
Splendid. Shall we discuss
music or the weather?

30
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:19,014
No. This is about you.
Edna wants to break up.

31
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,558
She wants to break up?
Yeah.

32
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,184
With me?
Yeah.

33
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:28,815
Look at it this way. You're
a free man, unlike me.

34
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:31,234
You have all your hair,
unlike me.

35
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,987
No kids tying you down
or a crippling mortgage

36
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,197
that you
refinanced at 26%

37
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:39,576
because a dancing Internet
cowboy told you to?

38
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,870
Oh, God,
I hate my life.

39
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:48,001
Gee, compared to you,
my life is one big half day.

40
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:51,671
Exactly. You're good-looking.
You have a decent job.

41
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:55,216
What lonely widow wouldn't
consider you an option?

42
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,343
Thanks, Homer.

43
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:59,137
I don't think the school pep
squad could've cheered me up more,

44
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,765
and they were state
runners-up in 1997.

45
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,101
Homer, that was amazing.

46
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,063
He actually felt better coming out
of the breakup than he did going in.

47
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,540
Say, Homer, you're
real good at this.

48
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,484
Think you could dump my
girlfriend Doreen for me?

49
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,985
Doreen, she's cheated
on you with everyone.

50
00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,111
Well, except for me.

51
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,698
And I've showered her with gifts,
fancy soaps and massage oils

52
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,617
and what have you.

53
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,620
Here she comes.
Work your magic, Homer.

54
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,580
Is Lenny here?

55
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,374
I'm afraid Lenny's dead.

56
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,918
What? I just
talked to him.

57
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:32,670
And you will again because
he isn't really dead.

58
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,757
Now this next piece of
news won't seem so bad.

59
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,152
Lemonade! We want lemonade!
Lemonade! We want lemonade!

60
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:41,846
Don't worry, folks. Our master
chef is stirring up a fresh batch.

61
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,561
Stop that transaction!

62
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,648
I'm a part-time field agent with the
Springfield Department of Commerce!

63
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,025
Great gig.
It is a great gig.

64
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,069
May I see your
vendor's license?

65
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,238
I think it's...
We don't have one.

66
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:02,742
35 cents? Where did
that come from?

67
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:05,453
Can't be mine.
Must be yours!

68
00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:08,623
I don't care if it's 45
cents, I don't want it.

69
00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:10,458
Submit this form to
the license bureau.

70
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,002
Until then, this
stand is closed!

71
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,254
B0ys!

72
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,509
Geez, I'm thirsty.
You got any lemonade?

73
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,010
Not anymore!

74
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:30,437
Come on, come on!

75
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,231
I was halfway through an
operation when my license expired.

76
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:36,526
I'll get to you just as soon as
I finish this crossword puzzle.

77
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,195
Come on.
Let's go, buddy!

78
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,448
I left bananas
in my car!

79
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:45,743
Let's see, 10 across, Franklin
Roosevelt's middle name.

80
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:48,329
Excitement!
Wait, that don't fit.

81
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:52,709
Maybe you could
use some help.

82
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:57,005
FDR's middle name,
Delano.

83
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,007
Oxidized surface,
well, that's rusty.

84
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,426
Bartenders serve them
"dirty." Ham sandwiches!

85
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,802
No, martinis.

86
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:03,970
Oh, right.

87
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:06,848
One more word. Singer of Yentl.
13 letters!

88
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,061
I got it!
Isaac Bashevis.

89
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,940
Now give me my license!
Give everyone their license!

90
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,153
What is a four
letter word for hero?

91
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:22,780
Hero!
Yes. But I meant Lisa.

92
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:25,658
Lisa! Lisa! Lisa!
Lisa! Lisa! Lisa!

93
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:30,288
Y'ello? Homer? It's your
old roommate, Grady.

94
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,372
The gay guy?

95
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:34,501
That's not all I am! Well,
it's a lot of what I am.

96
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,629
Anyhoo, I heard how good you
are at breaking up couples.

97
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,672
I need your help to
break up with Julio.

98
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:44,052
Because I met someone new, someone
much more cool and refreshing.

99
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:46,721
Got it.

100
00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,474
Marge, I'm going to
a hardcore gay club

101
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,809
and I won't be home
till 3:00 in the morning!

102
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:53,311
Have fun!

103
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,192
Ay, caramba!

104
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,779
Bart, I've fallen in
love with crosswords.

105
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,199
It finally happened. You've
gone completely fruit loops.

106
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,826
Froot Loops! That's
the answer to 38 down,

107
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,036
Toucan's delight.

108
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,829
No. I mean you're
loco in the coco!

109
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,706
Cocoa! Ice rink drink.

110
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:14,791
You're losing it!

111
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,001
LOSin' If!
Risque '80s teen flick.

112
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,753
Fine! Go nuts!
See if I care!

113
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:21,005
Eye care.
Optician's concern.

114
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,049
Thanks for your help,
Bart!

115
00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,135
BART. San Francisco
people mover!

116
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,054
Speaking of San
Francisco people mover...

117
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,395
Grady is
breaking up with me?

118
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:38,856
You'll always have a
special place in his heart.

119
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,316
In his what?

120
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,948
Oh, baby, you are
the breakup king.

121
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:50,368
You have made the seven minutes
that I'm gonna go without love

122
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,036
so much more bearable.

123
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,290
Anyone else want me to get
rid of that special someone?

124
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:58,376
Okay, everyone. Rotate
one to your right.

125
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,136
Guess what, Mom?
I'm a cruciverbalist!

126
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,013
Another religion?

127
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,158
You know, you're just gonna drop the
whole thing when you go to college

128
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:14,934
and get
a Jewish boyfriend.

129
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:18,354
Probably. But a cruciverbalist
is a fan of crossword puzzles,

130
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,939
which I am.

131
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:23,985
Me, too! I've been
doing them since 1958.

132
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:26,946
Back then, we called
them alphabet hotels

133
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:30,033
'cause every letter
gets its own little room.

134
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,871
I still do the Springfield
Shopper puzzle every day.

135
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:36,789
Let's see there...

136
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:39,542
Grampa, everyone knows that
the only real test of skill

137
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,420
is the New York Times puzzle,
edited by Will Shortz.

138
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,297
"Will" and "Shorts,"

139
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,884
two things I'm no longer
allowed to change by myself.

140
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,226
Okay, back to
the real world.

141
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,826
Isn't it beautiful?

142
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,203
Sure is.

143
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:17,205
Who's driving the bus? What bus?

144
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,167
Sweet Conclusions
Breakup Service.

145
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,837
Oh, yes. We dispose of
your loved one humanely,

146
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:28,174
thanks to our patented
Tenderdump system.

147
00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:32,595
I'll be there in 30 minutes
or your breakup is free!

148
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,560
I'm leaving you, baby.

149
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,980
With my clothes
in my hand.

150
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:46,734
Farewell to you, baby
Get yourself a monkey man

151
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,153
I'm leaving.

152
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:53,324
With my clothes
in my hand.

153
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:59,414
Farewell to you.

154
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:02,709
Get yourself
a monkey man.

155
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,428
Simpson!

156
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:17,849
What in the blue blazes are you
doing to my hopscotching grids?

157
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,143
I made them
into a crossword.

158
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,688
Well, I'm a bit of
a puzzle-head myself.

159
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:28,609
They help me wind down after
a day of dealing with Skinner!

160
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,528
You called?
Made reference.

161
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:31,612
My mistake.

162
00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:35,032
Lisa, I think you
might be ready for this.

163
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,827
"Bald Man's
Basketball League"?

164
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,413
Sorry. Wrong flier.
I meant this.

165
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:44,041
"Citywide Crossword
Tournament"? Thank you!

166
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,125
You're welcome.

167
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:50,339
Now I have to go home and make sure
my pool boy is using his skimmer!

168
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,216
You called?
You misheard.

169
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,676
My mistake.

170
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,931
Marge, if I had $100 for
every customer I'd broken up,

171
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,558
I'd have exactly
this amount

172
00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:01,851
'cause that's
what I charge!

173
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:06,647
Homie, I'm not sure about
this new business of yours.

174
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,108
You're making it too easy
for couples to break up

175
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,110
just because they
hit a rough patch.

176
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,779
I know this is
hard on you.

177
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,198
But in time, you'll come
to see it's for the best.

178
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,700
That's one of your
breakup lines!

179
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:22,163
What would've happened if there
was someone who could break us up

180
00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:24,957
every time I had
my doubts about you?

181
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,349
Who are you?

182
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:46,103
We are the spirits of the
relationships you killed.

183
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,528
We're the babies those
couples would have had.

184
00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:58,699
And we're the antiques those
couples would have bought together.

185
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,746
Get him,
chairs and babies!

186
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:09,961
Homie?

187
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,814
Marge, I'm getting out
of the breakup business,

188
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,423
and I don't know if I'll
ever sleep soundly again.

189
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,175
Well, maybe...

190
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,189
Wow. So this is
what this is.

191
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:33,150
Cruciverbalists from far
and wide have gathered here

192
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,862
for a no-holds-barred
test of skill.

193
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,030
Surely some holds
are barred?

194
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,198
No, none.

195
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:43,870
Well, it sounds really exciting
and you're a delightful young lady.

196
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,788
Now if
you'll excuse me.

197
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,209
Hey, what's going on?

198
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:53,129
It's kind of a secret, so
shut the door most of the way.

199
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:59,051
We found a way to make this
tournament interesting.

200
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,554
We bet on the matches.

201
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:05,016
Really? Well, I did bring
this envelope full of money.

202
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,099
And these days,

203
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:10,104
betting in a bar is safer than any
stock, bond or real estate investment.

204
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:11,898
Agreed. So who are
you gonna bet on?

205
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:15,109
I want you to put it
all on my little girl.

206
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,944
And parlay with
the Asian kid.

207
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:18,696
He has a name,
you know.

208
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:20,948
What is it? I don't know.
He's not my kid.

209
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,411
Iwin!

210
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:29,999
She won! And like any prudent gambler,
I know when to walk away... Never!

211
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:34,253
Dah pretty ladies
around the world.

212
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,380
Got a weird thing
to show you.

213
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,424
So tell all
the boys and girls.

214
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:42,261
Tell your brother, your
sister And your mama, too.

215
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,680
'Cause they're
about to go down.

216
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,724
And you'll know
just what to do.

217
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:51,103
Wave your hands in the air
Like you don't care.

218
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:54,982
Glide by the people As they
start to look and stare.

219
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,610
Do your dance,
do your dance.

220
00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,111
Do your dance quick.

221
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:03,032
Mama, come on baby
Tell me what's the word.

222
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,284
Word up.

223
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,912
Everybody say.

224
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:11,457
When you hear the call
You've got to get it underway.

225
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:12,667
Word up.

226
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,503
Okay, everybody.
Take a break.

227
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,839
Dad, I could actually
win this thing.

228
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:21,550
And when you win,
I win.

229
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,429
I'll explain that to
you on your deathbed.

230
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:26,681
My only fear is,

231
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:30,059
I always sabotage myself when
I'm on the verge of happiness.

232
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:31,644
You what?
In my young life,

233
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:35,272
I've seen that every time I'm
about to achieve true happiness,

234
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:38,442
some little piece of me says,
"You don't deserve this."

235
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:41,112
And another little piece
says, "I agree."

236
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,739
Right, right! But will
it happen this time?

237
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,825
With my luck,
I bet it will.

238
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,535
It's practically
a sure thing.

239
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,331
Contestants
to your boards.

240
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,750
Wish me luck!
Just be yourself!

241
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:57,378
I want to change my bet.

242
00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:59,547
I'm going against
my daughter!

243
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:03,926
I'll take your money, but I
won't look you in the eye.

244
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,179
Fine. I won't look you
in the eye.

245
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,561
Have I made the bet yet?
I got it.

246
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,313
We're down to our
final two contestants.

247
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,733
But before they compete,
we would like to pay tribute

248
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:22,570
to all the words that have been removed
from the dictionary in the past year.

249
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:46,052
You know, my wife, Shirley, she's
the real crossword ace in our family.

250
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,554
Fills in those letters
fast as hail on a tin roof.

251
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,973
Ping-ping-ping,
she's done.

252
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:54,393
Shirley passed away two years ago.
But I'm still not over it.

253
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,228
That's so sad.

254
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:57,396
Hey, what can you do?

255
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,773
Life keeps
changing the music,

256
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:02,026
but you gotta keep up
the cha-cha-cha, huh?

257
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:12,953
Let's see. I'll spread some Q's around.
That'll get my brain going.

258
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:19,794
I dropped my glasses! Oh,
Shirley baby, I let you down.

259
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:27,426
Hey, there are no lenses
in these glasses.

260
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:30,221
Let's see. That's Enrico Fermi. And
there you got the Pet Shop Boys.

261
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,555
And cross the "T"
and zing the.

262
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:34,141
And skit-skat-skoodly,
I'm all the way home.

263
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,021
Lisa got hustled.

264
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,817
I blew it again.

265
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,026
She blew it again!

266
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,111
Woo-how.!

267
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,280
Here's your money, drenched
in your daughter's tears.

268
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,867
You know, for a bartender bookie,
you're awfully judgmental.

269
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,292
Boy, Dad seems
awfully happy.

270
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,628
And there's something
different about him.

271
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:08,384
He bought new shoelaces
with fancy metal tips.

272
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,890
Dad, did you come into some
money we don't know about?

273
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,727
You got highlights
in your hair!

274
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,313
The sun did that.

275
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,733
And your car antenna has been
straightened and re-balled.

276
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,486
What's going on?

277
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:31,740
Well, sweetie, Daddy
made a little extra money

278
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,034
betting against you in
the crossword tournament.

279
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,661
You'll understand
when you're a parent

280
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:38,455
placing large wagers
against your own children.

281
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,332
I hope
you're not mad.

282
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,795
No, I'm not mad.

283
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,094
You sure
you're not mad?

284
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,597
No, I'm not mad.

285
00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:59,018
You sure
you're not mad?

286
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,978
No, I'm not mad.

287
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,441
Mr. Teddy, can you
ask Lisa if she's mad?

288
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:08,861
What's that, Mr. Teddy? You're
saying that you know women.

289
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:12,489
And that when women say they're
not mad, they're madder than ever?

290
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:17,369
She's gone. Can you drive me home?
I'm a little drunk.

291
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,248
Lisa? Lisa?

292
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:26,503
Lisa, sweetie, please
look at your daddy.

293
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:29,965
You stopped being my daddy as
soon as you bet against me!

294
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:34,303
All I have now is a mom. Which is
why I'm taking her maiden name.

295
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,473
From now on,
I'm Lisa Bouvier!

296
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,437
Hey, Mr. S, Lisa B.

297
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,690
No!

298
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,984
Would you like to
buy some band candy?

299
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,986
Yes!

300
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:53,739
Lisa's mad at me,

301
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:57,243
and now she's using Marge's
maiden name instead of mine.

302
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,536
Homer, whatever you done
to that little girl,

303
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,956
you just gotta do something
even nicer to win her back.

304
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,540
She may never
take back your name,

305
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,810
but there's still a chance she'll
take you back as her daddy.

306
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:10,464
Wow. Nobody gives better parenting
advice than childless drunks.

307
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,343
So the name Lisa Simpson
is available, huh?

308
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:17,721
A lot of goodwill attached to that name.
I'm gonna take it.

309
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:21,100
Lisa's Tavern.
Lisa speaking.

310
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:31,110
Lisa, sweetie, I'm honored
that you chose my name,

311
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:32,444
but it's not
that great.

312
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:36,115
Back in high school, the boys
used to call me Marge Boobier.

313
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,951
Hey, Bouvier was Jackie
Kennedy's maiden name.

314
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:41,078
Really?
I never knew that.

315
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,789
Well, what did you think her
name was before it was Kennedy?

316
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,375
Jackie O!
Like SpaghettiOs!

317
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,836
I thought that was where
her money came from.

318
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:53,382
Look, why don't you cheer up by doing
a New York Times crossword puzzle, huh?

319
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:54,758
I'm through
with crosswords.

320
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:58,220
My innocence died in
those 441 little boxes.

321
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:01,265
It might be a fun way
to kill a couple hours.

322
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:02,808
A couple hours?

323
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:06,395
I can do the Sunday puzzle
in less than one hour.

324
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,981
"Couple of hours."

325
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:12,651
Last clue,
loses on purpose.

326
00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:16,030
Diet!

327
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:20,034
Will Shortz,
you clever rascal.

328
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,662
And a new record time!
Wait a second.

329
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:26,623
"Dumb dad
sorry for his bet."

330
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:29,793
Wow. It's almost as if
Dad planted that message.

331
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:33,589
No. It must just be
a weird coincidence.

332
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:38,260
But what if it's not? It must be.
Or mustn't it not?

333
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,065
Dad, I know
this is crazy,

334
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:54,443
but did you plant a message to me in
the New York Times crossword puzzle?

335
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:57,029
Well, I had a little
help from this guy.

336
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,283
New York Times crossword
editor, Will Shortz!

337
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:04,953
And master puzzle
constructor, Merl Reagle!

338
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,538
I actually wrote
that crossword.

339
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,123
And I edited it.

340
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,792
Now get back to
crosswording!

341
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,168
Yes, sir.

342
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:14,630
Well, I must admit,
I'm kind of touched.

343
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:17,841
"Dumb dad sorry
for his bet." Nice.

344
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,552
You didn't get Homer's
whole message, Lisa.

345
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:21,637
I didn't?

346
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,973
Take a look at the first
letters of all the clues.

347
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:32,731
Dear Lisa,
you make me so happy.

348
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:35,776
Really, really,
really happy.

349
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:40,114
Sorry. He told me I needed 144 letters.
What was my point again?

350
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:45,994
Oh, right. Bouvier or
Simpson, I cherish you.

351
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:48,622
Oh, Dad.

352
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:54,753
Cherish is the word
I use to describe.

353
00:20:57,172 --> 00:21:03,053
All the feeling that I have
hiding here for you inside.

354
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:10,310
You don't know how many times
I've wished that I had told you.

355
00:21:58,275 --> 00:21:59,276
English - US - PSDH