1 00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:06,339 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,227 (bell ringing) 3 00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:25,817 (whistle blows) 4 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:31,239 (beeping) 5 00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:39,789 (playing the blues) 6 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:44,878 (tires screeching) 7 00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:48,298 D’oh! 8 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:49,716 (screams) 9 00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,643 HOMER: Hey! Don't shove! 10 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,198 Oh, man, I love Oktoberfest. 11 00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:14,574 Oktoberfest! 12 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,160 {\an8}(plays resonant note) 13 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,249 {\an8}Sorry, sir, this is a harvest festival-- no alcohol. 14 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,085 I’m gonna have to confiscate those steins. 15 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:31,674 (low, sad note) 16 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,680 Springfield squash-- 17 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,266 the most fibrous variety of yellow squash. 18 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,520 {\an8}We drove 50 miles to look at a stupid pile of vegetables? 19 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,188 {\an8}That’s it, buster. 20 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,606 {\an8}You just bought yourself 21 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,608 {\an8}ten minutes watching that man make a wagon wheel. 22 00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:49,526 Yes’m. 23 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,570 {\an8}Wagon wheels were the Internet 24 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,322 {\an8}of the 19th century! 25 00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:55,365 Really? 26 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,242 No. 27 00:01:58,493 --> 00:01:59,661 Hmm! 28 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:03,248 {\an8}This winning cornucopia is magnificent. 29 00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:05,583 Styrofoam? 30 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,085 (gasps) 31 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,503 You stuffed your horn?! 32 00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:10,880 {\an8}What? Everybody does it. 33 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:11,881 (nervous laughter) 34 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:16,719 {\an8}No, no, no, no-- noooo! 35 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,722 {\an8}-(screaming): Noooo! -I can testify at the trial. 36 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,349 Ain’t gon’ be no trial. 37 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:26,062 Ooh, look! Pine cone first ladies. 38 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,438 {\an8}Where the hell is Abigail Adams?! 39 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:28,690 {\an8}Oh, there she is. 40 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,525 {\an8}Where the hell is Mary Todd Lincoln?! 41 00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:32,068 {\an8}Oh, she’s right there. 42 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,820 {\an8}Where the hell is Ida Saxton McKinley?! 43 00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,071 {\an8}Oh, I see. 44 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,823 -Where the hell is...? -Dad, look. 45 00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,366 -A corn maze! -(crow caws) 46 00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:41,995 "Betcha can’t solve our maze." 47 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,455 {\an8}Puh! I didn’t come here to be insulted. 48 00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:45,456 {\an8}We’re leaving! 49 00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:49,419 Mm! 50 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:52,172 {\an8}Sure is a lot of corn in this parking lot. 51 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,965 Dad, we’re in the maze. 52 00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:57,135 (suspenseful music) 53 00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:58,052 D’oh! 54 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,889 {\an8}(groans) 55 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,016 {\an8}Dad, why don’t you throw me in the air, 56 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,934 and I can see which way is out? 57 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,561 -Hip! -Corn. 58 00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:07,562 Hip! 59 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:08,980 More corn. 60 00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:10,732 Another kid getting thrown in the air. 61 00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:12,692 Witch’s coven. 62 00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:14,485 Seattle Space Needle. 63 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,988 Amateur production of You Can’t Take It With You 64 00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,823 Oh, I’m getting dizzy. 65 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,241 And corn again. 66 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,744 {\an8}Maybe we should split up. 67 00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:23,745 {\an8}Split up?! 68 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:25,872 {\an8}Marge, no! We can fix this marriage! 69 00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:27,332 No, no, I didn’t mean... 70 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,708 Fine, you want out? Then go! 71 00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,501 {\an8}I can make it on my own! 72 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:33,087 {\an8}Before I met you, I had friends and dreams! 73 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,631 I was talking about... 74 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,549 {\an8}Oh, please take me back. 75 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,718 {\an8}The dating scene is a nightmare. 76 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,762 {\an8}I’m begging you! 77 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:45,266 {\an8}I just meant we should split up to get out of this corn maze. 78 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:48,436 {\an8}Deep down, I... I guess I knew that. 79 00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:51,606 {\an8}Now there must be a way out! 80 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,024 Of our marriage?! I don’t want to live! 81 00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:56,653 {\an8}(shrieking, blubbering) 82 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,071 {\an8}(distant): I don’t want to live...! 83 00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,031 {\an8}(Marge growls) 84 00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:02,075 HOMER: Hey, this maze is made of corn! 85 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:06,412 (panting) 86 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,373 I’m so sick of being lost. 87 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:09,999 {\an8}To hell with maze etiquette! 88 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,502 {\an8}I’m walking straight outta here! 89 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,087 {\an8}(screams) 90 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,089 {\an8}(whimpers) 91 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:19,467 Damn it! 92 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:23,054 (moans) 93 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,890 {\an8}How come things that happen to stupid people 94 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,517 {\an8}keep happening to me? 95 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,311 {\an8}Finally! 96 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,980 {\an8}I knew we could solve that maze 97 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,731 using Tremaux’s algorithm. 98 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:34,732 Told you. 99 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:35,733 {\an8}No, you didn’t. 100 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,777 {\an8}Your plan was to burn the corn. 101 00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,195 That was never my plan. 102 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:46,786 HOMER (echoing from distance): I’m lost and I’m starving! 103 00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,372 Eat some corn! 104 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,833 I don’t have any holders! 105 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,293 Now, don’t worry, ma’am. 106 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:56,379 We’ll send a member of our elite canine unit in 107 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:57,547 to find your husband’s corpse. 108 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:58,589 (gasps) 109 00:04:58,673 --> 00:04:59,799 Uh-- living corpse. 110 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,468 Say hello to Officer Jaws! 111 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,512 (weak growl) 112 00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:07,849 Chief, I’m afraid Officer Jaws is guilty of littering... 113 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,809 and here’s the litter! 114 00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:14,105 Okay, everyone-- puppy party at my house! 115 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:15,773 (crowd cheers) 116 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,066 Oh! 117 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,444 Don’t worry! Our dog will find my dad! 118 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:20,486 We need you, boy! 119 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:22,780 We need you, boy! 120 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,993 (whimpering) 121 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,459 Good boy! 122 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:35,668 Now go find Homer! 123 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,753 (questioning bark) 124 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:37,754 He needs something 125 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,213 with your father’s scent. 126 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,757 Maybe there’s something in Dad’s backpack. 127 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,927 A sports bra? 128 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:48,681 He just needs it for walking upstairs. 129 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:52,268 (barking) 130 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:05,907 (squawks) 131 00:06:12,246 --> 00:06:14,165 (synthesized voice): This maze is too hard for me. 132 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,883 {\an8}"To my wife Marge. 133 00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:25,885 {\an8}In case I don’t make it, 134 00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:29,138 {\an8}here are my Oscar picks for next year-- 135 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,058 {\an8}Best Sound Effects Editing: the team from..." 136 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,476 {\an8}Huh? 137 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,602 Ahh... 138 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,274 -Dad! -Dad! 139 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,152 Your dog’s quite a tracker. 140 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,030 Say, has he ever thought about A career in law enforcement? 141 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,492 (whimpering) 142 00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:55,331 Um, I don’t think he’s ever thought about anything. 143 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,126 Santa’s Little Helper would be an awesome police dog. 144 00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,752 Can he, Dad? Can he? 145 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,587 No, and never bring it up again! 146 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,005 -Please, can he? -All right. 147 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,767 Boy, it is going to be so cool when you’re a police dog. 148 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:18,855 (gasps) 149 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:19,856 (growling) 150 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,024 (gasping) 151 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,196 (whistles) 152 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:30,741 (screams) 153 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,121 Good boy! 154 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,456 Now, transform. 155 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,585 (laughs) 156 00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:44,338 Cool. 157 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,217 CHIEF WIGGUM: All right, listen up. 158 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,387 For the next two weeks, I’m gonna be your worst enemy, 159 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,222 except this Thursday is the Fourth of July, 160 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,141 so we’ll take Friday off as well. 161 00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:57,143 Well, I guess Wednesday everybody’s going to be thinking 162 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:59,187 about the long weekend, so... eh, what the hell? 163 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,980 Why don’t we just take the whole week off? 164 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:03,941 Why did you let me do that? 165 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,151 We are so far behind. 166 00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,694 (dogs growling) 167 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,074 Nice work, canines. 168 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,659 Bring in the next group. 169 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,661 (whinnying) 170 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,544 (barking) 171 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,558 Uh, should I get this blow back to the cage, Chief? 172 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,228 Whoa, whoa, whoa. "Blow? Cage"? 173 00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,604 You’re in uniform, Lou. 174 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:42,772 Don’t slang it up. 175 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,485 It is my privilege to welcome this fine group of animals 176 00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:49,820 into the Springfield Police Force. 177 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,239 And now to give your commencement address, 178 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,907 the most famous mayor of 179 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:55,368 New York since Caleb Smith Woodhull, 180 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,954 Rudolph Giuliani! 181 00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,873 (clears throat) Friends, parents, Chief Wiggum. 182 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,333 What? 183 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:03,417 And of course graduates! 184 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,169 Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy! 185 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,212 Look at that tail. 186 00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:07,880 Waggy waggy waggy! 187 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,048 Who’s got a fuzzy tum-tum? 188 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:11,008 You got a fuzzy tum-tum. 189 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:13,135 Who wants a treat? You wants a treat. 190 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:16,305 I wish someone had told me that at my graduation. 191 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,225 Listen to me, rook, these streets are hard. 192 00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:22,562 It ain’t like Air Bud V: Strong Arm Of The Paw. 193 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,897 Attention all units: domestic disturbance in progres 194 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,482 at Rural Route 27. 195 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,109 Domestic disturbance?! 196 00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:30,027 You’re gonna have one hell of a first day, boy. 197 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,237 Squeak ’em if you got ’em. 198 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,155 (toy squeaking) 199 00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,618 You gave that hog a day of beauty, 200 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,537 and I didn’t get nothing! 201 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,747 Manicure... pedicure... 202 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,208 exfoliation! 203 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,459 (startled bark) 204 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:46,460 Don’t worry, boy, 205 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,045 she just knocked a few fleas off you. 206 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,505 You’re gonna be okay. 207 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,631 We need backup now! 208 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,637 Cletus, you coward! 209 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,389 Is you man or turtle? 210 00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,099 Here’s your answer. 211 00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:02,059 Skittle, skittle, scurry, skittle. 212 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:06,272 Okay, since the dog’s not here, I’m gonna take you for a walk. 213 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:13,863 (yowls) 214 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:14,864 (sighs) 215 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,782 What’s the matter, Bart? 216 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,243 Oh, I miss Santa’s Little Helper. 217 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:22,622 I wanted him to be a police dog, but now he has no time for me. 218 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:23,956 I even have to eat my own homework. 219 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,169 (coughing) 220 00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,920 (electrical buzzing) 221 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:37,345 (whimpering) 222 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:38,679 Hey, could you set us up down here? 223 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:46,937 Easy there, pal. 224 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,105 We just started our shift. 225 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,231 (growls) 226 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,691 (walkie-talkie squelches) 227 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,151 WIGGUM: Attention K-9 unit. 228 00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:54,779 We got an 866 in progress at the park. Over. 229 00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:56,405 Chief, why are you using the walkie-talkie? 230 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,407 I can hear you fine. 231 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,326 Fine. Let’s not use any of our police equipment. 232 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:06,332 So, uh, you got any steroids? 233 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:07,416 Oh, you know it. 234 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,876 I can make you huge. 235 00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,378 (all gasp) 236 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,421 I want to pump my guns. 237 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,798 I want to rip my pecs. 238 00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,841 I want to shriv my nards. 239 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:18,427 "Nards," that’s what we needed to hear. 240 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,470 Freeze! 241 00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:20,763 (all gasp) 242 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,181 Ha! 243 00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,684 Nobody ever freezes. Might as well just say "run." 244 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:32,858 Catch me if you can, little bow-wow. 245 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:33,776 Ha-ha! 246 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:40,950 (snarling) 247 00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:44,829 No! 248 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:54,046 Nice work... partner. 249 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,050 (ducks quacking) 250 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,389 (deep, guttural): Quack, quack, quack... 251 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,355 You stand accused of giving hope to scrawny young men. 252 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,398 How do you plead? 253 00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,900 Guilty... of being innocent! 254 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,569 (all laugh) 255 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,405 (snarling) 256 00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:20,906 Well, I’m afraid, 257 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,367 because of this improperly filled-out police report, 258 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,369 I have no choice but to let you go. 259 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:26,579 Case dismissed. 260 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:27,913 Ho-ho! Don’t worry, dude, 261 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,206 I’m going straight... 262 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,334 straight to my customers to sell more drugs. 263 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,462 (growls) 264 00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:38,716 Listen, man, you got to let it go. 265 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,718 Relax for a couple days with your family. 266 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:41,719 Come back fresh on Monday. 267 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:47,767 (growls) 268 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,351 Boy, you’re back! 269 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,313 Ow! You bit me! 270 00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:54,398 My own dog bit me! 271 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,076 I can’t believe it. 272 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,828 My own dog bit me. 273 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,080 Now that he’s had a taste of human flesh, 274 00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,750 the dog will be a slave to its succulence. 275 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:13,834 Look at him eyeing me. 276 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,044 He knows I taste best. 277 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,420 Don’t blame the dog, folks. 278 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,422 A cop’s life is so intense, 279 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,965 he has to channel it somewhere. 280 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,967 Me, I knit violent imagery. 281 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:25,846 Pretty grim, huh? 282 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:29,058 Oh, I love Santa’s Little Helper, but I don’t know 283 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,060 if we can have him in our home anymore. 284 00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:32,812 Mom, you can’t send him away! 285 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,563 He’s a dog, not Grandpa! 286 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,274 What if Santa’s Little Helper stops being a police dog, 287 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:40,236 then he can get a nonviolent job like barking songs 288 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:41,737 on novelty Christmas records. 289 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,239 You can do it, boy! 290 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:47,284 (barking "The Dreidel Song") 291 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,203 No, boy, that’s Hanukah! 292 00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:51,580 Forget it, kid. He’s a cop now. 293 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,374 Well, I bet he can’t resist this. 294 00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:55,125 Fetch, boy! 295 00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:00,297 My God! I’ve lost him. 296 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,132 (Homer barking) 297 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,133 Homer! 298 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:04,468 (chortling) 299 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:05,761 Oh, relax, Marge. 300 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:06,846 I’m just messing with you. 301 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,472 I know I’m not a dog. 302 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,557 I’m a people, like you. 303 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,226 (water running) (growling) 304 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:13,686 Homer, it’s just Flanders. 305 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:14,854 You know him. 306 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,564 (growling and barking) 307 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,487 You’re going to live with me now ’cause... 308 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,155 ’cause only cops understand cops. 309 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,283 Hey, Lou, want to party tonight? 310 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,034 Oh, not tonight, Sharquelle. 311 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,578 I’m hanging out with my new roommate. 312 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,747 Oh, my God! A police dog! 313 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:36,166 Oh, I have a friend who would love him. 314 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,963 (whimpering) 315 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:44,800 Okay, but just remember: They don’t love us. 316 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,177 They just love the uniform. 317 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:49,805 All right, now, who’s going with who? 318 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,851 I don’t want a new dog. 319 00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,436 I want my old dog. The one who bit me. 320 00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,062 Cheer up, boy. 321 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,106 We’ll get you their most vicious street cur! 322 00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:00,941 He’ll bite your ass raw! 323 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,276 No street curs! 324 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,656 That’s it! I want a snake! 325 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,117 Oh, no problem, pally. 326 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,745 Our pythons cost five dollars a foot. 327 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,750 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 328 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,293 We’re not made of money! 329 00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:20,753 All right. 330 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:23,881 (blade whacks) 331 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:30,596 He is so awesome. 332 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,556 I already love him more than I love Lisa. 333 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,392 It says here don’t bother naming them. 334 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,978 Snakes have poor hearing, and only live to strangle. 335 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:41,065 I like it. "Strangles." 336 00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:42,816 Hey, Lis, you want to touch Strangles? 337 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,109 He’s not slimy at all. 338 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,986 He’s scaly. 339 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:48,030 Eww! He is slimy! 340 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:49,531 That’s because I soaked him in slime! 341 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,075 (laughing) 342 00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:52,534 Why, you little... 343 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,412 I’ll teach you to trick your sister! 344 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:58,624 (both choking) 345 00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:03,837 Homer, can you breathe? 346 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:07,216 Well, I can breathe out okay. 347 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,093 (wheezing) 348 00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:13,097 Don’t... give... snake... attention. 349 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:19,436 It’s what... he really... wants! 350 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,437 I’m okay. 351 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,816 After months of practice, 352 00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:27,152 I have trained my rabbit to hop in perfect tempo 353 00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:31,615 to Mussorgsky’s immortal Pictures at an Exhibition. 354 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:34,785 Now for some hip-hop we can all get down with! 355 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,162 (gasps) 356 00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,796 Bart Simpson, you can’t bring a python to school! 357 00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:46,922 Hey, don’t ask me to show 358 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,090 if you can’t handle the tell. 359 00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,758 (all laughing) 360 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,636 Well, I’m going to show you to the principal, 361 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,347 and tell him all about it. 362 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,932 (laughing) 363 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,728 Mine was as funny as his. 364 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,855 No one’s arguing with you, lady. 365 00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:04,815 Now, can we just learn something? 366 00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:05,983 Oh! The snake’s getting away! 367 00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:13,115 (alarm blaring) 368 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,783 (all screaming) 369 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,077 (siren wailing) 370 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,666 (sniffing) 371 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:27,671 (barking) 372 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,298 The snake must be in there. 373 00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,218 (barking) 374 00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,763 (growling) 375 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,681 (playful growling) 376 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,852 You miss him, don’t you? 377 00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:43,771 Lou, he’s got to get over it. 378 00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,439 I miss Shamrock Shakes, 379 00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:47,024 but they ain’t coming back till March! 380 00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,275 You know, Chief, Shamrock Shakes 381 00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:50,069 are just vanilla shakes colored green. 382 00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,695 I taste the flavor. 383 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,197 It’s a very mild mint. 384 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,740 Well, maybe, because it’s a minty color, 385 00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:55,908 your mind is fooling your tongue. 386 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,034 I know what I taste! 387 00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:59,328 I got to go with the chief on this one. 388 00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:00,913 Whoa! There’s a big surprise. 389 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,201 Hey, Lou, what’s your favorite thing in the world, 390 00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:42,913 so I can dump all over that? 391 00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:46,583 (all screaming) 392 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,460 Time for a head count. 393 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:49,586 Children, line up according to height. 394 00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,213 No, weight. 395 00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,215 No, the sum total of the letters in your last name 396 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,842 if each letter is assigned a numeric value 397 00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,510 according to its place in the alphabet. 398 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:57,427 Quickly, now! 399 00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:01,849 Deadly toxic cloud! Deadly toxic cloud! 400 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,811 Bart’s missing. 401 00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:06,895 He must still be in the school! 402 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,731 (whimpering) 403 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,275 No, boy! It’s too dangerous! 404 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,985 Let him go, Lou. 405 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,820 He’s not following his nose this time. 406 00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:16,864 He’s following his heart. 407 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,490 Sometimes I forget why you’re chief, 408 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,450 but I remember now! 409 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,786 You follow your heart, boy! 410 00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:29,126 Here, Strangles! Strangles? 411 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:33,130 (woozily): Oh... 412 00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:36,717 Oh, man, it’s like some chemicals cut one. 413 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,931 Strangles, you came to save me! 414 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,642 Santa’s Little Helper, you came, too! 415 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,820 Sorry, but a boy’s got to go with his dog. 416 00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:09,333 And... saved! 417 00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:13,212 Hero cop saves boy! Hero cop saves boy! 418 00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:24,681 Oh, I knew you loved me, boy! 419 00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,184 Now you can be my dog again. 420 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:36,151 Don’t worry. I’ll give ya a home. 421 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,530 That’ll do, snake. 422 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:44,993 That’ll do. 423 00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:36,420 Shh! 424 00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:38,505 Captioned by VISUAL DATA 425 00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:41,591 Enhanced by Fotokem