1 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,381 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:07,465 (tires screeching) 3 00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:10,885 D’oh! 4 00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:11,803 (screams) 5 00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,597 ( Bonanza theme plays) 6 00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:36,870 {\an8}Okay, everyone, straight ahead is my big surprise! 7 00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,705 {\an8}(grunting, thumping) 8 00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:40,540 (groaning) 9 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:41,666 Look out for the stairs. 10 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,168 {\an8}(all moaning) 11 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:45,712 {\an8}ALL: Whoa! Ooh. 12 00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,965 {\an8}(train whistle blows) 13 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,551 {\an8}You redid the basement! 14 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:54,929 {\an8}Whoa... feel the pile on this shag! 15 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,182 {\an8}Whoa, baby! 16 00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,017 {\an8}Will you look at that paneling? 17 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,895 {\an8}I feel like I’m back in wooden times! 18 00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,688 {\an8}Check out this pinball machine! 19 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,690 {\an8}"Chevy Chase in Foul Play." 20 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,651 {\an8}Pinball, eh? I’ve always wanted to try this. 21 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:09,652 {\an8}(bells dinging) 22 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,030 {\an8}Wow, the graphics are amazing. 23 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:14,199 {\an8}That ball almost seems real! 24 00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:17,410 {\an8}This basement is a wonderful gift to the family. 25 00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:19,621 {\an8}But how could you afford it? 26 00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:23,208 {\an8}Marge, we’re not going to have to worry about money ever again, 27 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:26,419 {\an8}because I’ve got a plan. 28 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,713 {\an8}I’d like to declare bankruptcy, please. 29 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:32,175 {\an8}Mr. Simpson, do you understand how bankruptcy works? 30 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:35,178 {\an8}Yes I do. Under Chapter 13 of the fiscal code, 31 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,263 {\an8}an individual whose debts exceed his assets 32 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:41,351 {\an8}may file for bankruptcy, thus protecting said assets. 33 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:44,354 {\an8}-That was the old bankruptcy law. -Huh? 34 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:47,857 {\an8}Under the new law, you have to pay your creditors everything. 35 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,819 {\an8}What the...? But I thought bankruptcy was the cool law! 36 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:54,656 {\an8}The one that says "Dude, don’t worry about it. I got this." 37 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:57,450 {\an8}Mr. Simpson, I’m afraid this court must appoint 38 00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:00,870 {\an8}a financial officer to supervise repayment of your debts. 39 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,038 Hmm... 40 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,164 Permission to moan? 41 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,165 I’ll allow it. 42 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,919 {\an8}(anguished moan) 43 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:10,380 {\an8}ACCOUNTANT: Mr. Simpson, 44 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,799 {\an8}among the expenses the court deems frivolous, 45 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:16,761 {\an8}you throw over $1,000 a month into local wishing wells. 46 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:19,097 {\an8}Of course, you idiot, 47 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:20,932 {\an8}’cause I’m wishing for more money. 48 00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:23,059 {\an8}Uh-huh. Well, you’re gonna have to make 49 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,103 {\an8}some serious cutbacks to your expenses. 50 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:27,147 {\an8}Three subscriptions to Vanity Fair? 51 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,315 {\an8}I’ve got three bathrooms, don’t I? 52 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,986 {\an8}$500 a month to Totalpoker.com? 53 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:35,572 {\an8}Shut up! It’s an instructional website! 54 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,198 {\an8}Shut up! 55 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,284 {\an8}Give it here, I’ll find some fat we can trim. 56 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,244 {\an8}Ah, here you go... 57 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,329 {\an8}a giant useless expense for something 58 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,415 {\an8}that no one is interested in. 59 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:48,793 (grumbling, struggling) 60 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,378 I don’t want to leave! 61 00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,463 You promised me I could die here! 62 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,757 No, no. This place is too expensive. 63 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:59,262 I saw you doing a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle in there. 64 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:00,722 (grunting) 65 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,855 Come on, Dad, I’m cutting back everywhere. 66 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,566 To save gas, I’m Flintstone-ing the car. 67 00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:12,984 ( Flintstones’ running sound effect) 68 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,236 (grunting) 69 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,864 (straining) 70 00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:18,990 Yabba... 71 00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:22,160 dabba... 72 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:23,912 do...! 73 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:25,997 Ping! 74 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:26,915 -Pong! -Ping! 75 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,333 -Pong! -Ping! 76 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,375 Pong! 77 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,211 Scram, you two! 78 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,338 This is my bedroom now! 79 00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:35,590 No way, this is our rec room! 80 00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:37,884 Not anymore. I already put my posters up. 81 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,052 -(Ragtime music playing) -(Grampa chuckling) 82 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,273 (Flanders humming) 83 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,317 Hey, Mr. Flanders, what’d you get? 84 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,735 Some kind of bible garbage? 85 00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:57,362 Oh, I wish! 86 00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,405 No, these are complimentary boxes from the shipping company. 87 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,241 Could a kid like me get these boxes, 88 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,533 then use them for whatever he wanted? 89 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,619 (laughs): Only if he fibbed about 90 00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:07,163 {\an8}his name, age, and occupation on this automated 800 number. 91 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,831 Why don’t you put this box by your phone 92 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:12,085 -so you don’t call the number by accident. -Oh, I won’t. 93 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,419 (evil chuckle) 94 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,385 Nothing like un-tossing a leftover salad. 95 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:21,761 It’ll be like new! 96 00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:24,013 (humming) 97 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,225 Whoa. What the heck are these? 98 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,102 Those are my medical samples! 99 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:30,895 Hands off, you big blue Buttinski! 100 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,772 (groans) 101 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:34,774 Blood, bile, spinal fluid, 102 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,484 blood, other, phlegm, 103 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,027 miscellaneous ooze... 104 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,404 (groans) 105 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,865 Grampa’s driving me crazy. 106 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,201 Why are you telling me? He’s your father-in-law. 107 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,704 Can we at least get out of the house for an evening? 108 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,748 Sure, but I think you’re exaggerating the problem. 109 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,418 I’m scared. Can I sleep across you? 110 00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:56,921 (snoring) 111 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,047 (groans) 112 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:01,551 (doorbell chimes) 113 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,053 What are you doing here, Patty or Selma? 114 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,264 I invited Selma here 115 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,725 to watch Grandpa watch the kids. 116 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,810 For some reason, she doesn’t trust him. 117 00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,104 Maybe it’s the bang-up job he did raising you. 118 00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:15,023 He was a great Dad. 119 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,566 Every year he got so mad 120 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,735 when Santa didn’t bring me presents. 121 00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:25,450 {\an8}Um... lemon candy? 122 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:26,993 {\an8}No thanks. I brought my own. 123 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:33,082 (noisy sucking) 124 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,379 (noisy sucking continues) 125 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,472 I know what you’re wondering. 126 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:50,224 How come a single woman with so much to offer 127 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:51,976 is alone on a Saturday night. 128 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:55,271 I assumed you were resting up for bingo tomorrow, like me. 129 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,814 (dejected sigh) 130 00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,442 My numbers don’t get called much these days. 131 00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:00,443 You’re kidding. 132 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:03,029 A sweet young thing like you? 133 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:06,032 Wow, that’s the first time anyone’s ever 134 00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:08,493 put an adjective before calling me a thing. 135 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:24,634 You know, I was voted best kisser in my P.O.W. camp. 136 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,844 Hmm... 137 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,971 SELMA (voice over): Well, if he dies in my arms, 138 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,681 I could meet a cute paramedic. 139 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:36,104 ABE: All right, lips, man your kissing stations. 140 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,605 This is not a drill. 141 00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:40,441 (klaxon blaring) 142 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,654 Well, here we are home early. 143 00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:48,116 Yeah, and the great prices at that new rib joint 144 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,201 were the surprise of the evening. 145 00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,744 (erotic moaning) 146 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:52,787 (gasping) 147 00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:54,330 Ah! A bear is eating my father! 148 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,706 I’m Selma. 149 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,126 Ah! A talking bear is eating my father! 150 00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,131 Dad, do you know what you were kissing? 151 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,341 Do you? Do you? 152 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,218 Yeah, I know who I was kissing, 153 00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:08,970 and I also know why. 154 00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:12,473 I’m a little shaky on when and where, but I got my theories. 155 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,934 Well, I never, ever want to see that again. 156 00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,060 Ah, the hell with you. 157 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,312 I just might ask that Selma girl out, 158 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,523 and you can’t tell me not to. 159 00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:23,609 My roof, my rules! 160 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,487 Oh, why did I borrow that roof from him? 161 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:30,867 So exactly what company am I giving these free boxes to? 162 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:35,413 Uh... the name of the company is... 163 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,747 Dog Incorporated. 164 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:37,999 Uh-huh. 165 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:40,251 Are you run by dogs or for dogs? 166 00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:41,377 Actually, don’t answer. 167 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,921 I like not knowing. 168 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,549 Now we just have to figure out what to do with these boxes. 169 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,719 As always, I have some ideas. 170 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:50,761 Hmm... 171 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,138 (laughing) 172 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,598 "Build a fart." 173 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:54,682 I love it. 174 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:57,143 Fort. That’s "build a fort." 175 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,186 That might work, too. 176 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:03,399 I’m glad you called. 177 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,526 This is really going to drive Homer crazy. 178 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,111 Well, actually, 179 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,947 the real reason I asked you out is because I’m... 180 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,991 well, I’m a little sweet on you. 181 00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:15,953 Oh, listen, Abe, the other night was fun, but... 182 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,497 Ah, phooey on buts. 183 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,582 At my age, and with your drawbacks, 184 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,751 we can’t afford to miss an opportunity. 185 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,337 Why don’t we just spend some time together 186 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,798 and see where that takes us? 187 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,842 Yeah, what the hell? 188 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,511 Want to split a basket of garlic bread? 189 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,804 Slow down, you hussy. 190 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:38,518 ♪ Is she really going out with him? ♪ 191 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:42,522 ♪ Is she really gonna take him home tonight? ♪ 192 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:46,943 ♪ Is she really going out with him? ♪ 193 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:50,947 ♪ Is she really gonna take him home tonight? ♪ 194 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,991 ♪ Is she really going out with him? ♪ 195 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,577 ♪ ’Cause if my eyes don’t deceive me ♪ 196 00:08:56,661 --> 00:09:00,081 ♪ There’s something going wrong around here. ♪ 197 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:03,834 Oh, look at Grampa and Selma frolicking in the water. 198 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,294 It’s not right. 199 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,505 It’s like an old sea turtle dating a suitcase 200 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,048 that fell out of a plane. 201 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,800 Be nice, Homer. 202 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,928 Don’t you see how great it is that they found each other? 203 00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:17,056 Like how the parts of a pig nobody wants combine 204 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:19,100 to make a yummy hot dog. 205 00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:21,561 Oh, now you’re dragging hot dogs into this. 206 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,062 Real classy, Marge. 207 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:24,814 Real classy. 208 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:27,525 Hey, Homer, that garbage barge is complaining 209 00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:28,943 about your smell. 210 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,528 We wrote that joke in the water. 211 00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,029 It wasn’t all frolicking. 212 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,031 (both laughing) 213 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,493 (groans) 214 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,704 How could my Dad go out with Selma? 215 00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:41,872 Don’t those two gargoyles know that love 216 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,457 is for good-looking young people? 217 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,084 Well, gee, Homer, you, uh, 218 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:47,628 ain’t exactly open- casket material yourself. 219 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,797 (gasping): Words hurt, you know. 220 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,924 (sobbing) 221 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,884 They do. 222 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:57,179 Stupid Selma and Grampa. 223 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,265 How dare they find happiness. 224 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,391 Psst! Over here. 225 00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:01,434 It’s me. Patty. 226 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:02,476 Oh, great. 227 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:03,728 Who are you in love with? 228 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,062 Bart? 229 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,064 Look, if you want to break up your Father and Selma, 230 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,357 I have a plan. 231 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,734 But it involves you. 232 00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,861 Okay, but I’m not good at details. 233 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:12,862 Or the big picture. 234 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:13,904 I also show up late. 235 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,573 And drunk. 236 00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,825 (whispering loudly): I’ve got a good feeling about this. 237 00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:21,704 Lower the drawbridge! 238 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,290 What’s the password? 239 00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:26,125 I love my sister. 240 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,461 (laughs) 241 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,424 Hey, you little brats. 242 00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:36,218 Get down from those battlements! 243 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,803 Those boxes are for shipping, 244 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,514 not for creating a world of pure imagination. 245 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,141 Give them back. 246 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,685 Not till we’re bored with them. Now, begone! 247 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,228 (British accent): I shall go, 248 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,649 but I will return with an army of my brethren 249 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,360 and together we shall take back what is ours 250 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:55,446 and Hell will rain down upon you! 251 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:56,822 What if we’re not here? 252 00:10:56,906 --> 00:11:00,159 We will come two more times, 253 00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:05,122 and then you’ll have to come to our customer center. 254 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,457 (regular voice): It’s near the airport 255 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,125 where the old Crown Books used to be. 256 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:14,548 (humming) 257 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:15,841 Hello, Homer. 258 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:16,926 (shrieks): Selma! 259 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:19,261 Relax, it’s just me, Patty. 260 00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,346 (shrieks): Patty! 261 00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:23,099 Do you have your disguise? 262 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:27,228 Hola, I am Esteban de la Sexface. 263 00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:29,021 That means "Stephen of the Sexface." 264 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,065 Okay, now let’s prepare our mental images 265 00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:33,442 so we can kiss each other without barfing. 266 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,705 (moaning) 267 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,962 Whoa-oa-oa! 268 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,506 (joyfully scatting) 269 00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:56,882 -Mm! Yes! -(both moaning) 270 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,175 Oh, baby. 271 00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,552 (gasps): What the...? 272 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,762 Selma, how could you?! 273 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,931 Sorry, Abe, we’re through. 274 00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:07,643 I thought we really had something. 275 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,271 What the hell is going on here? 276 00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:11,814 Dos Selmas? 277 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:13,482 Ay-yi-yi! 278 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:18,821 (gasps): Homer! 279 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,031 Why would you try to break us up? 280 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,992 I guess I always dreamed 281 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,453 that my father would grow old alone. 282 00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,371 Well, nerts to both of ya! 283 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:28,831 Our love is so strong 284 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:32,209 not even a thousand crazy schemes could tear it apart! 285 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,086 A thousand, eh? 286 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,046 I love this woman 287 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,215 and I’m gonna make sure she’s in my life forever. 288 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,176 -I’m Patty. -Nice to meet you. 289 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,720 Selma, will you marry me? 290 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:43,804 Abe... 291 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,557 I... uh... 292 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,808 Yes! 293 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:50,728 Homer, say hello to your new ma! 294 00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,521 (both laugh) 295 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:58,277 (screaming): No! 296 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,987 ("Wedding March" plays) 297 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,363 (all cheering) 298 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,077 Dad, don’t throw rice, it makes the birds swell up! 299 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,914 Oh, Lisa, that’s one of those rumors you get off the Internet. 300 00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:17,213 Hey, Selma, want some rice? 301 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,423 (Grampa and Selma laughing) 302 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,633 (horn honking) 303 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:23,677 -(tires screeching) -Pick a lane, freaks! 304 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,971 Nothing solves everything forever 305 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,140 like a wedding. 306 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,143 Now to do something 307 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:35,105 I’ve been looking forward to my whole wedding day. 308 00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:38,526 (sighs): Oh! 309 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:39,902 I’m glad I waited. 310 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:42,112 Now that we’re married, I want to tell you 311 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,739 I have one strict policy-- 312 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,242 no wife of mine ever has to work. 313 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,660 Are you sure, Abe? 314 00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:50,037 They offered me a promotion at the D.M.V. 315 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,040 It’s longer hours, but we can afford a place of our own. 316 00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:54,542 Nonsense! 317 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,210 When I left Pan Am, they said 318 00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:58,087 they’d always have a job waiting for me. 319 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,506 Abe, there’s no more Pan Am. 320 00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,591 Oh, I’m an old fool. 321 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,845 I don’t even have two kidneys to rub together. 322 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,596 Oh, don’t worry, Abe. 323 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,765 I can provide for both of us. 324 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,184 Now, we are on our honeymoon. 325 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,395 I thought we were at the circus, Lisa. 326 00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,105 Oh, boy. 327 00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,738 Sorry I was at work so late. 328 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:25,656 How’d it go with the baby? 329 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,199 We’re having a great time. 330 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,660 I cleaned up all my best war stories for her. 331 00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:32,496 I told her how we chased the teddy bears 332 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,874 into their cuddle-bunkers, 333 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,917 then had to tickle them out 334 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,753 with machine-hugs and fun-throwers. 335 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,423 They say the more soldiers you tickle, 336 00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:44,383 the easier it gets. 337 00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:46,927 Well, sir, it doesn’t. 338 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,940 Who knew guys in brown shirts could cause so much trouble? 339 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,999 (whispers): It begins. 340 00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,586 For the Brown Empire! 341 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:26,342 (yelling) 342 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:29,386 (shouting) 343 00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:36,894 (groaning, grunting) 344 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,652 (grunting) 345 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,748 (yelling) 346 00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:03,212 (dragon shrieking) 347 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:09,593 Nelson, you came to help in our hour of need. 348 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:10,928 (metallic sword ringing) 349 00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:13,764 (battle cry): Ha-ha! 350 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:15,766 (metallic clanging) 351 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,485 (shrieking) 352 00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,742 (objects whistling) 353 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:38,288 (whistling sounds) 354 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:43,043 (yelling, shouting) 355 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:49,174 Yeah! We did it! 356 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:53,137 Now we can enjoy Boxingham Palace in peace! 357 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,848 Want to melt it with a hose? 358 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:57,057 Sure, I guess. 359 00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,393 A couple of birds pooped on it over here. 360 00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:14,033 -Selma... -Walk with me. 361 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,285 The new traffic cones are held up in Harrisburg. 362 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,369 Go to the costume store. 363 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:20,205 Get a hundred wizard hats and a bucket of orange paint. 364 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,206 I love that! 365 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,417 We’ve lost the answer key for written test number seven! 366 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,045 A-C-D-A-A-C-B-B-C-A! 367 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,422 You are what I want to be. 368 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:30,090 Selma, the divider broke, 369 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,884 and the driver’s test line is mixing 370 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,052 with the license renewal line! 371 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:36,263 Hey, re-newbies, stay on your side! 372 00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:39,183 You and what line divider is going to make me? 373 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,476 (sighs): Oh! 374 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:43,771 I shaved my legs to the knees for this? 375 00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:50,611 Now to relax with a nice cup of tea. 376 00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,988 (laughing) 377 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,115 Which one of you do-hickeys is the tea kettle? 378 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,877 Oh, a flapjack flipper. 379 00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:14,885 I usually don’t cook, 380 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,888 but when you’re in love, you do crazy things! 381 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,265 Now I’ll just put in a movie to pass the time. 382 00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,479 Let’s see. Running time 383 00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:27,981 two hours. 384 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:31,193 (smoke alarm beeping) 385 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,528 Oh, the kettle’s whistlin’! 386 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:36,865 Ah, just the way I like it-- thick and noxious! 387 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,992 (exploding, alarm blaring) 388 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,411 Uh-oh. Better call the fire brigade! 389 00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:42,746 (squeaking) 390 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,540 Wow, they’re already here! 391 00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,542 (whimpering) 392 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:51,421 So, that’s my projected new driver’s test route. 393 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:53,298 Nice pres, Selma, 394 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,508 but, uh, where’s the three-point turn 395 00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:55,884 on this baby? 396 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,845 Um... Bailey Street? 397 00:18:57,928 --> 00:18:59,304 Bailey Street? 398 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,265 The freshly-paved Bailey Street? 399 00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,142 Oh, yeah, let’s wear that out. 400 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,936 (laughter, indistinct chatter) 401 00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:07,229 I’m sorry. 402 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,148 I-I’ve got a lot of stress at home. 403 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:13,360 I’m wet and scared, and the house hates me! 404 00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:15,195 Selma, we don’t have time for this. 405 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,321 This is the D.M.V. 406 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,406 We’re about getting things done! 407 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,074 Abe, let’s go home. 408 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,910 How will we ever replace her? 409 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,579 Oh, I know. 410 00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:27,291 Why is this so hard? 411 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:30,335 I just wanted to marry my best gal. 412 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,379 I guess the Beatles were wrong. 413 00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:33,755 Love isn’t all you need. 414 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,133 Abe, I hate to admit it, 415 00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:38,719 but maybe this marriage isn’t going to work. 416 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:40,470 I guess you’re right. 417 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,890 Also, I didn’t realize you liked the Beatles. 418 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:45,142 That would have caused some problems down the line. 419 00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:46,602 (sighs) 420 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,563 I guess I’m gonna be alone forever. 421 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,773 Now, don’t be an idiot. 422 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:56,069 A sweet, young tomato like you will definitely find someone. 423 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:58,739 Some young bruiser who can eat corn on the cob 424 00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:00,490 and not think twice about it. 425 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,034 You really think so? 426 00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:03,660 Absolutely. 427 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:07,873 Now how about givin’ an old man one last dance? 428 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,544 (big band music plays) 429 00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,261 So... 430 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,431 how long is Senor Homer out of town for? 431 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:26,016 Oh, I don’t know. 432 00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:28,227 He might come home any minute. 433 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,686 Then I must flee! 434 00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,021 (grunts) 435 00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:32,397 Where is he? 436 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,607 Where is he?! 437 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,567 I smell his aftershave! 438 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:36,902 (groaning) 439 00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:39,947 I don’t think we’re doing this right. 440 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,449 Where is he? I know he’s in here. 441 00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:48,038 {\an8}Captioned by VISUAL DATA 442 00:21:29,496 --> 00:21:30,330 Shh! 443 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:35,794 {\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem