1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:06,506
CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:07,424
(tires screeching)
3
00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:10,802
D’oh!
4
00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:11,636
(screams)
5
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,096
(tires screeching)
6
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:33,366
{\an8}Ah.
7
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:35,785
{\an8}(chewing noisily)
8
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,370
Bart, what are you doing?
9
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,455
I only eat the clown heads.
10
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,373
That’s so wasteful.
11
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,207
{\an8}I’ve always done it.
12
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,168
{\an8}Just like I only eat
the eyes off a lobster.
13
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:44,794
{\an8}(Marge groans)
14
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,463
{\an8}Oh, you should
be ashamed!
15
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:50,008
{\an8}Your father works very hard
to put lobsters on our table.
16
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,218
{\an8}Every night, he comes
home exhausted,
17
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,512
{\an8}with his voice
too hoarse to talk.
18
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,973
{\an8}(screaming)
19
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,683
{\an8}(grunting)
20
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,645
{\an8}I’m the king of goofing off!
21
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:03,563
{\an8}(grunts loudly)
22
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,401
{\an8}Ow! Unnecessary roughness!
23
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,528
{\an8}So what? That’s legal
in Rolo-Polo.
24
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,947
{\an8}I thought we were playing
Cincinnati Time Waste.
25
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,783
{\an8}Oh, in that case...
26
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:15,992
{\an8}(screams)
27
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,994
{\an8}(sobbing)
What did I do?
28
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,120
{\an8}When you pass
the coffee machine,
29
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,456
{\an8}you’re supposed to yell "hot
pot" and eat a sugar cube.
30
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:24,000
{\an8}He’s right, Homer.
That’s a two-minute penalty.
31
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:24,918
(giggling)
32
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:26,294
MEN:
Penalty, penalty, penalty!
33
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:27,879
Penalty, penalty,
penalty...
34
00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:31,257
{\an8}(laughing)
35
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:34,385
On your feet, you sniggering
oran-gu-tan.
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(laughing)
37
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{\an8}(suppressed laughter)
38
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{\an8}My fat friend,
39
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{\an8}you are hanging
by a very thin thread.
40
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,482
{\an8}("Pop Goes The Weasel"
playing)
41
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:50,401
{\an8}If you want to keep your job,
then you better start...
42
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{\an8}(humming "Pop Goes
the Weasel")
43
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{\an8}You’re thinking about
44
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,700
{\an8}that ice cream truck,
aren’t you?
45
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,911
Well, you can just
forget about...
46
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:02,580
Come and lick me, big boy.
47
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:05,250
I said lick me!
48
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,460
(groaning)
49
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:08,336
{\an8}(screams)
50
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:09,254
{\an8}Ew!
(spits)
51
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:10,171
{\an8}You’re not ice cream!
52
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:11,297
{\an8}Faker.
53
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,049
("Pop Goes the Weasel"
playing)
54
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,260
{\an8}Ice cream man, wait!
55
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,178
You’re fired!
56
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:18,179
{\an8}As for the rest of you,
57
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,306
{\an8}you’re supposed to be
a chair-hockey team!
58
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,517
{\an8}All I see is five showboaters.
59
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,311
{\an8}Now sit down
and give me 50 twirls.
60
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,605
{\an8}That’s more like it.
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00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,818
Ice cream man!
Ice cream man!
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(tires screeching)
63
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:33,862
{\an8}(panting)
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00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,196
{\an8}Homer, there you are.
65
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,949
{\an8}What does my best customer
want today?
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00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:40,034
{\an8}One butter-crusted
choco-rocket, please.
67
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,662
{\an8}I wish I had more
customers like you.
68
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:45,582
{\an8}Oh, I’m barely
scraping by.
69
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:48,293
{\an8}Yeah, this economy
is tough on everyone.
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00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:49,294
{\an8}Change a hundred?
71
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:50,920
{\an8}Sure. That’s 1.50,
72
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,339
{\an8}1.75, $2.00...
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00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,134
(wheezing)
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00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,344
(weakly)
99.50,
75
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:02,348
{\an8}99.75...
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00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,933
(gasps, screams)
77
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{\an8}(grunts)
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00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:10,356
{\an8}No...!
(sobbing)
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00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,611
("Taps" playing
on truck horn)
80
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,328
(bells jingling)
81
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,883
You must be Homer.
82
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:39,177
Huh? Max told
you about me?
83
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,762
Oh, yes.
84
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:44,015
Max loved to talk
about his work.
85
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,517
How he bored me.
86
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,811
And now I’m left with nothing
87
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,815
but my lover
and this worthless truck.
88
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:53,858
Wait a minute.
89
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,861
You don’t want the truck,
I need a job,
90
00:03:56,945 --> 00:04:00,031
you need money,
I’m flush with severance pay...
91
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:01,783
You’ll buy Max’s truck?
92
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,117
Why, doesn’t he need it?
93
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,410
Oh, right.
94
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,454
Remember that crappy
ice cream truck I bought?
95
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:07,997
LISA:
How can we forget?
96
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,167
Mom says now we can’t afford
to go to the orthodontist.
97
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,587
Well, sink your crooked,
rotting teeth into this!
98
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:15,463
(kids gasp)
99
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,674
("Get Ur Freak On"
by Missy Elliott playing)
100
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,133
♪ Get your freak on ♪
101
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,886
♪ Get your freak on,
get your freak on ♪
102
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,554
♪ Get your freak on ♪
103
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,015
♪ Get your freak on,
get your freak on ♪
104
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,351
♪ Getcha, getcha, getcha,
getcha, get your freak on ♪
105
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,104
♪ Get your freak on,
get your freak on ♪
106
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,063
Whoa!
Whoa!
107
00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:33,606
Boy!
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Otto, you totally pimped
Dad’s ride!
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{\an8}(scoffs)
He was following my design.
110
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:44,826
And now to get dressed
in a most unusual way.
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(rock music playing)
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(jet engine roaring)
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(bullets ricocheting)
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(mechanical clanking)
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(jackhammer drilling)
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(mechanical buzzing)
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Butter-brickle!
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(applause on TV)
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00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:29,746
Welcome back.
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Today, we’re celebrating women
121
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who didn’t waste their lives
being mommies.
122
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:37,211
Professor Stein, tell
us about your book,
123
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,714
Life Beyond Wife.
124
00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:41,174
Well, Opal, it’s about women
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00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,634
who want to breast-feed
their own dreams
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and change the poopy diapers
of fulfillment.
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(cheering and applause)
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(groaning)
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I call it
leaving your "lega-she."
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00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:55,480
Does this book
have any examples?
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00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:56,481
Yes, eight!
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Take Gail Tucker.
133
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,526
She wrote hip-hop lyrics
134
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,863
to the beat
of her washing machine
with an off-center load.
135
00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,990
Last year, she won
all the Grammys.
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00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,408
(cheering)
137
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:11,371
Or how about Becky Tyson,
who invented the pink VCR.
138
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,539
Now her husband
asks her for money--
139
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,501
or as I call it: "mon-she."
140
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:17,794
You go, girl!
141
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,048
All those women
are so impressive.
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00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:25,510
I’ve been doing the same thing
for the last ten years.
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00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:28,429
And all I have to show
for it is a clean floor.
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00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,348
(dog barking)
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00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:31,849
(kids laughing)
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00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,519
My lega-she.
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00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:35,812
(groans)
Oh.
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00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,482
Boy, it’s hot.
149
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:43,611
I feel like Icarus, flying too
close to Apollo’s golden orb.
150
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:46,948
Punch away, Nelson.
151
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:47,949
(groans)
152
00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:49,158
It’s too hot.
153
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,743
I’ll get you later.
154
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,328
I’ll pencil you in
for next week.
155
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,830
Eh, what the hell.
156
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:54,747
(screams)
157
00:06:56,833 --> 00:07:00,044
(rock music
playing in distance)
158
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:05,174
("Money for Nothing" by
Dire Straits playing)
159
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:10,847
You kids like ice cream?
160
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,391
MAN (speedily): Product
contains neither ice nor cream.
161
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May contain trace elements
of Mexican cheese.
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00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,602
Do not consume.
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00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,814
(kids clamoring excitedly)
164
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,649
I’m a unitard.
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00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,693
(children talking excitedly)
166
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,154
What’s the matter, son?
167
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,406
Don’t you have enough
money for ice cream?
168
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:31,159
I do, but I’m
lactose-intolerant.
169
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:35,204
Son, I will not stand
for intolerance.
170
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:38,082
You give this delightful
frozen treat the same respect
171
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,209
you would give any
lactose-free food.
172
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,503
God bless America.
173
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,880
But my doctor says...
174
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,216
I said,
God bless America.
175
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,055
(pained moaning)
176
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,515
Call the number on my bracelet.
177
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,017
(grunts)
178
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,436
(with lisp)
Ooh, thomeone
wearth a brathelet.
179
00:07:58,519 --> 00:07:59,896
Who’th your boyfriend?
180
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,981
Uh... Dr. Osterberg?
181
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:09,113
Whoa, Marge,
for the first time in my life,
182
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,240
I’m excited
about going to work.
183
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,535
I’m glad someone in this house
feels their life has meaning.
184
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,912
You’re glad?
185
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,205
You don’t look glad.
186
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,916
Are you sure you know
what "glad" means?
187
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:23,836
I just wish I could do something
to be remembered by,
188
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,380
something that says
"Marge was here"
189
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,090
after I’m gone.
190
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,092
(muffled): Oh, honey,
what about the time...
191
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:33,012
(muffled gibberish)
Everybody loved that.
192
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:36,891
Love you.
193
00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:38,893
(sighs heavily)
194
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:40,269
Ah, the story of my life.
195
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,689
They get the Popsicles,
I get the sticks.
196
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,618
Look, Maggie,
I made another you.
197
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,995
Out of sticky orange wood.
198
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,414
(squealing and laughing)
199
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:01,415
Marge, I was...
200
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,167
Folk art!
201
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,795
That’s my favorite
kind of folk medium.
202
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,380
I made it myself.
203
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:10,049
Marge, you’re a genius.
204
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,509
You should make sculptures
of other people.
205
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:13,010
Like Lenny, or Carl
206
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,387
or the new James Bond.
207
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:16,764
Will America accept
a British James Bond?
208
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:18,683
I can’t wait to find out.
209
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:21,435
("Feels So Good"
by Chuck Mangione playing)
210
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,464
(helicopter flying overhead)
211
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,383
This is Kent Brockman.
212
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:54,135
A high-speed pursuit
is taking place
213
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:56,178
on the streets of Springfield.
214
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,889
We responded immediately
after seeing it on Channels two,
215
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,683
four, five, seven and 63.
216
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,852
The driver is getting
out of his car...
217
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,395
he’s running to a helipad,
218
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:05,813
he’s taking off in a copter.
219
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,398
Why, here he is
next to us.
220
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,026
Kent, there seems to be
a traffic tie-up
221
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:13,446
at the 101-405 interchange.
222
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:16,407
I recommend taking
surface streets.
223
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,159
Jailbird away.
224
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,535
Well, there you have it,
people...
225
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,495
Sweet Morley Safer!
226
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,205
Do I see a telegenic housewife
227
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,875
making art
out of popsicle sticks?
228
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:29,754
Set this baby down--
I smell soft news.
229
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,259
Ma’am, I’d like to feature you
on my award-submitted segment,
230
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,678
Kent Brockman’s
"Kent-resting People".
231
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:40,848
Really? You think people would
be Kent-rested in me?
232
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,558
-I do.
-Hm!
233
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:49,023
I’m here with local sculptress
Marge Simpson who works in,
234
00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:51,025
of all media,
Popsicle stick.
235
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:55,571
Our viewers want to know two
things: why and how come.
236
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,199
Why did cavemen
paint on walls?
237
00:10:58,282 --> 00:11:00,284
Why do you scratch
your name on Tupperware?
238
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,662
So when you die,
something’s left behind
239
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:06,415
that says, "I was here,
I mattered.
240
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,417
That’s my Tupperware."
241
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:11,420
Human feelings,
expressed by a human.
242
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,840
And here’s a local nobody
enjoying his likeness.
243
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,967
Let’s take a sneaky-peeky.
244
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,053
My God, it’s beauty-ful.
245
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:21,639
I finally see the goodness
in myself.
246
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:22,765
Come here, you.
247
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,851
Oh, I’m so glad
you like it, Moe.
248
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:29,146
That’s right, tell me all
your little wooden dreams.
249
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:32,483
You’re not alone anymore.
No you ain’t.
250
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,027
Aw, you’re shivering,
are you cold?
251
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:35,945
Where you goin’, Marge?
252
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,906
Honey,
I brought you more sticks.
253
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:43,828
This is the most fun I’ve
ever had giving you wood.
254
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:46,497
Homie, this sculpting has
made me feel so fulfilled.
255
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,332
I’m as hopeful
and full of life
256
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:51,127
as I was in the years
before I met you.
257
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,254
It’s good to see
you smile again.
258
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:56,090
I was lonely being
happy all by myself.
259
00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:59,885
Well, no one’s gonna be
lonely tonight.
260
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,513
(moaning)
261
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:05,850
(laughs)
Let me just put on
some romantic music.
262
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,355
("Pop Goes the Weasel"
playing)
263
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,649
Hey, we got
the whole night, baby,
264
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,152
let’s slow things down.
265
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:19,739
-(song plays at slow speed)
-(Marge gasps) Ooh...
266
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:22,074
(moaning)
267
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,460
Marge, you are one
fantastic artist,
268
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:36,088
and no one knows art like a
Texan with too much money.
269
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,006
You’re from Texas?
270
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,591
That’s right.
271
00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:41,510
And I want to finance
a fancy-shmancy art show,
272
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,138
starring your wooden wonders.
273
00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:46,348
Yee-hah. (laughing)
274
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,309
(gasps)
My own art show?
275
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:49,643
I’m so happy.
276
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,730
Do you mind?
277
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:53,939
Yee-hah!
278
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,733
I’m excited you’re excited.
279
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,611
Yee-hah! Yee-hah!
Yee-hah! Yee-hah!
280
00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:02,281
Shoot on the "yee,"
not the "hah."
281
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:03,115
Hey lady,
282
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:05,201
{\an8}you gotta pay
to use my likeness.
283
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,328
It’s a registered trademark.
284
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:08,496
(groans)
285
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,706
(grunts)
286
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,833
Hey, I do more than TV.
287
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:15,461
I had a one-man show
on Broadway.
288
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:17,338
That’s who showed up--
one man.
289
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:19,423
(laughing)
290
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,843
Long story short,
I won a Drama Desk Award.
291
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,179
Marge, everything
looks wonderful.
292
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:27,765
Well, I’m off to pedal
my frosty wares.
293
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,183
You can’t go to work.
294
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:31,310
I need you here
for emotional support.
295
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,938
Plus you make
a small crowd look huge.
296
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:37,066
Sweetie, I can’t abandon
my route even for one day.
297
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,485
If those kids discover the
link between eating right
298
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,904
and feeling good,
I am screwed.
299
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,073
But I’ll be back in time
for your show.
300
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,241
The show starts at 3:00.
301
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,659
You promise
you’ll be here?
302
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,828
I would never
let you down.
303
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,622
Our marriage is like
soft-serve ice cream.
304
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,499
And trust is
the hard chocolate shell
305
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:56,252
that keeps it from
melting onto our carpet.
306
00:13:56,335 --> 00:14:01,549
In "cone-clusion,"
here’s the scoop: I love you.
307
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,009
(sighs)
308
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,262
(playing "Pop Goes the Weasel"
over speaker)
309
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:09,223
(clamoring)
310
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:10,307
(tires screeching)
311
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,811
What the hell do you kids want?!
312
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:14,687
Oh, right, ice cream.
313
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,730
(children cheering)
314
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,108
(song continues)
315
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:22,570
Oh, my God.
316
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,321
It’s the opportunity
of a lifetime.
317
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,323
(over truck PA)
Attention, losers:
318
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,493
this is your chance to buy
your kids some frozen love.
319
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,996
I’m not going to fall
for such a cheap stunt.
320
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,289
Mom would.
321
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,456
Hey, give me
one of everything!
322
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,791
Hey!
323
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,376
(group shouting)
324
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:42,882
(chorus of "Mmm")
325
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,885
Sorry, I’m all
out of ice cream.
326
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:49,179
Already? It’s only 38 seconds
to 3:00.
327
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,764
(gasps)
Marge’s show!
328
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,149
Must jettison excess weight.
329
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,986
(Homer yelling)
330
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:06,030
D’oh!
331
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:08,032
(panting)
332
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:13,454
Oh, my God.
I only got nine seconds
till Marge’s show.
333
00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:15,664
Eight... seven...
334
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,918
(groans)
Homer, where are you?
335
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,462
(horns honking)
336
00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:24,089
Oh, I’ll never make it.
337
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,257
Unless...
338
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,890
Whoo-hoo! I’m going
to be on time.
339
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:33,974
(owl hooting)
340
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,684
(Homer, scout shrieking)
341
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,478
-(roaring)
-(shrieks)
342
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,395
(grunts)
343
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:42,066
(shouts)
344
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,653
(screaming)
345
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,196
(tires screeching)
346
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,447
(all screaming)
347
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,703
(roaring softly)
348
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,246
(groans)
349
00:15:58,165 --> 00:15:59,333
No, no, no, save your energy.
350
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:00,542
Don’t try to talk.
351
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,629
I don’t know where
Carl ends and I begin.
352
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:06,173
See, statements like that are
why people think we’re gay.
353
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:13,430
I made it back for your show,
honey...
354
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:17,351
Well, Homer, you destroyed
my artwork and my dreams.
355
00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:19,812
Good job, very thorough.
356
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,273
Marge, let me explain.
357
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:26,402
I had a chance to make
a little more money by
exploiting broken families...
358
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,153
Oh, stop, just stop.
359
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,990
You don’t care about anyone
else’s happiness but your own.
360
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,785
Well, excuse me
361
00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:38,414
for having enormous flaws
that I don’t work on!
362
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,545
♪♪
363
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:45,754
(knocking on door)
364
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,381
HOMER: Marge?
365
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:48,507
Marge?
366
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:51,176
Honey, you’ve been
in there all day.
367
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,053
You got to eat something.
368
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,889
Why don’t you come
downstairs and cook dinner?
369
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:57,391
Lasagna would be awesome.
370
00:16:58,475 --> 00:16:59,727
Marge?
371
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,361
Marge?
I wrote you a check for $300
372
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,780
to pay for all
the sculptures I broke.
373
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:12,948
Okay?
374
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:15,576
Oh, I see.
375
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:18,287
You’d prefer a wire transfer.
376
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,165
Well, what’s
your routing number?
377
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,208
That’s okay, I can get it
from the bank, honey.
378
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,960
I just need
to know your birthday.
379
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,844
Marge? I have an apology
that I hope is better
380
00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:37,014
than all the other ones,
so please listen carefully.
381
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:40,267
The thing I liked best about
being an ice cream man
382
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:43,729
wasn’t the free ice cream
or the colorful toppings,
383
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:46,774
or the love I received
from obese children.
384
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,777
It was giving you those sticks,
and watching you smile
385
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:52,529
as you turned them into art.
386
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:55,032
If it would win you back,
I would gradually eat
387
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,159
all the parts of a motorcycle.
388
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,328
I hope it doesn’t come to that.
389
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:05,167
Could you please
just give me a sign that
you still love me a little?
390
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:08,212
If you won’t talk to me,
I’ll send in Polaroids
391
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:11,590
to show you how sad I am
that I let you down.
392
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,482
I’m laughing in the last one,
393
00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:30,943
but it’s only ’cause the cat
fell down the stairs.
394
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:42,329
(snoring and mumbling)
395
00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:43,705
Marge? Marge?!
396
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,040
She’s been gone for a while.
397
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,042
Grampa’s been watching us.
398
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,212
You kids have been
real good tonight.
399
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,507
-Mom!
-Mom!
400
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,217
Marge, where are you?!
401
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,302
Did you change your name?
402
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,762
Is it Kelly?
403
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,013
Kelly!
404
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:03,016
Comic Book Guy,
have you seen our mom?
405
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,018
A complete list of things
I have seen
406
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,146
or not seen is available
on my blog.
407
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,939
Your mother
is on the "not seen" list,
408
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:10,399
along with "a Star Wars film
409
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,276
that was any good
since the first one."
410
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:15,070
And even that has been
ruined by CGI additions.
411
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,239
Bravo, George.
412
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:18,323
There’s Mom!
413
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,701
Oh, my God--
she’s going to jump.
414
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:24,413
Marge, don’t do it!
Give divorce a chance!
415
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:28,125
Homer, I want to show the world
how I feel about you.
416
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,668
The world’s
not that interested.
417
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,920
They will be.
418
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,547
Ready, bullies?
419
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:34,882
ALL: Ready.
420
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:47,477
Homer, you wanted a sign
that I still love you,
so here it is.
421
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,104
Wow!
422
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,315
You made me a sculpture
of Magilla Gorilla.
423
00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:53,400
No, Homer.
424
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:58,655
It’s you--my sweet,
perfectly imperfect you.
425
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:02,201
Okay, boys,
on my command, fire.
426
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,036
But nobody’s done
anything wrong.
427
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,914
Geez, if everyone was like you,
our morgues would be empty.
428
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:10,959
Homie, I realized
that my most enduring creation
429
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,754
is the life
I’ve sculpted with you.
430
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:15,130
ALL: Aah!
431
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:19,301
Now I know that my lega-she
is really a lega-we.
432
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:23,347
I just have one question,
my darling:
433
00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:25,641
What did you do
with the ice cream
that was on all those sticks?
434
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:27,100
It’s in that Dumpster.
435
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,278
Not that one!
436
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:44,785
{\an8}This statue,
subject unknown,
437
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:47,162
is the last remaining
example of art
438
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,331
before the collapse
of the western world.
439
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,708
If only we’d known
that iPods would unite
440
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,503
and overthrow the very humans
they entertained.
441
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:55,963
(groaning)
442
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,965
What do you want from us?!
443
00:20:58,048 --> 00:20:59,132
Nothing.
444
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,385
We just like whipping.
445
00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:05,639
(groaning)
446
00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:08,141
{\an8}♪♪
447
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,227
{\an8}Captioned by VISUAL DATA
448
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:52,769
Shh!
449
00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:57,899
{\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem