1
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The Simpsons

2
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Oh, when is our food
going to get here?

3
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:34,868
I'm starved!

4
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,704
I'm so bored,
I figured out

5
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:38,414
where the wallpaper
pattern repeats.

6
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:42,126
See, it goes ship's wheel,
Popeye tattoo, Gilligan hat

7
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:45,008
fish with boobs
and back to ship's wheel.

8
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:46,509
What about
this swordfish?

9
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,850
Oh, my life's work ruined!

10
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,014
Arr, sorry
about the delay.

11
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:55,473
The chef is having a bit of a
problem with tonight's special.

12
00:00:57,683 --> 00:01:01,233
Meanwhile, I can send a busboy
out to get you something

13
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from a better restaurant.

14
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:03,988
Red Lobster?

15
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,065
Not that good.

16
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:10,530
Until then, perhaps an old sea
yarn might pass the time.

17
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,326
Too bad I don't know any.

18
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,749
I know one about
the most important

19
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sea voyage in
American history,

20
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,669
the journey
of the Mayflower.

21
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Ah, yes, the ship that brought
prostitutes to America.

22
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Not prostitutes, protestants.

23
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Now who's being naive?

24
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The year was 1620.

25
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Hurry, my little puritans.

26
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:44,943
We must flee England and its
insufficiently puritanical ways.

27
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:47,116
Do you have your
shipboard entertainments?

28
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,817
I've got my
toy wood lump.

29
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What jolly fun.

30
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,449
Finally, we shall bid
good-bye to England

31
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and its drunken,
decadent sinners.

32
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Out of my way, you
God-fearing buckleheads!

33
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:05,800
Hide me!

34
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,007
Please, you got to help me.

35
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,929
If they find me,
they'll kill me.

36
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,632
Has anyone
seen this knave?

37
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:14,639
He's wanted for daring
to question why we call this

38
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the Jacobean era when the king's
name is James and not Jacob.

39
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Oh, Lord,
I beseech you...

40
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Mother, we must
protect him.

41
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Look, he's praying.

42
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Oh, Lord,
please let the soldiers

43
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,235
kill this family
instead of me.

44
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Noble sir, you may
accompany us

45
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,577
to America in my late
husband's clothing.

46
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,990
And I will make thee a hat
from construction paper.

47
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So thou art a widow, eh?

48
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Then the codpiece
holds no terrors for thee.

49
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:46,091
Good sir, I do not approve
of your fleshly gaze.

50
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Oh, baby.

51
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,300
- Goodbye!
- Don't come back!

52
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,679
What kind of a booze
cruise is this?

53
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Where's the hooch?

54
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:03,059
We puritans have
no place for drunkenness.

55
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:06,111
Or colorful clothes
or dreaming or poetry.

56
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,939
So if you write a sonnet,
keep it under your bonnet.

57
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,282
Oh, no!
That was a poem!

58
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,408
Forgive me, Lord!

59
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,993
Then pour a little salt in the wounds.

60
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And I'm good.

61
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I see you met our devout
leader Ned Flandish.

62
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Stupid Flandish.

63
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:27,337
Uh, listen, since all the other
fun stuff is out of bounds,

64
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,586
how about a little Bible-thumping
in the crow's nest?

65
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What do you say, Miss...

66
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,390
Constance Prudence
Chastity Goodfaith. D'oh!

67
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,842
My friends
call me Marge.

68
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,971
Oh. Marge Obedience
Temperance Sexwon't.

69
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,936
Back off, newbie!
We're engaged.

70
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,854
I didn't kill her
husband just so...

71
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,894
I mean, I... ldidn't
kill her husband.

72
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,479
We're not engaged.

73
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,944
Uh, it's really more
of an amiable concordance.

74
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,573
Such language
from a woman.

75
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,654
Oh, no! I just
thought of you as a woman!

76
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:04,294
Lord, we thank you for the
many ways you show your love.

77
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:08,165
The sun which bakes our lips
to the point of bleeding,

78
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and your hilarious
idea to surround us with water

79
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,171
that would kill us
if we drank it.

80
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:15,629
Now I've got to warn you,

81
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:19,142
even for this day and age,
I'm considered a bad husband.

82
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,853
She's going to marry him
'cause he wears boots

83
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instead of
blackening his feet.

84
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:32,027
Well, I'm sure the way to win her
heart is to be fat and crying.

85
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Why, thee little...

86
00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:40,247
Oh, don't stop.

87
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:43,326
You're choking him just the
way his father used to.

88
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Good times.

89
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,833
Perhaps thou wouldst
make a good father.

90
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,631
May I escort you
to the railing'?

91
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,389
Oh, my God. Look at that
hand-on-hand action.

92
00:04:57,589 --> 00:05:00,934
If I don't do something, soon
they'll be exchanging pleasantries.

93
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,227
Yes, the weather is fair.

94
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:06,849
Man! That guy sends my humors
from sanguine to bilious!

95
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,942
That's how we talk.
Weird, huh?

96
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,570
Time to think of
a plan most sneaky.

97
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,819
Anyways, I just wanted to let
you know that I'm throwing

98
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,900
a little party tonight
to celebrate

99
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,069
that only half of us
have died so far.

100
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:26,660
Beer? I thought you guys
didn't drink on the Gayflower?

101
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,041
Stop calling it that!
Whatever.

102
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,673
I was saving this booze
to mess up the Indians,

103
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:35,503
but seeing what good pals we are,
I wanted to give you a taste.

104
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,842
Say, I know
a good drinking game.

105
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,049
Take a sip every time
a wave hits the ship.

106
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,932
Oh, you're good at this.

107
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:53,312
Oh, Lord, thank you for this generous
rain and abundant lightning.

108
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,943
Obviously, kissing your ass
is getting me nowhere.

109
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,615
This storm's
blowing us off course.

110
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,371
And where's our crew?

111
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,708
I'll show you
where they are.

112
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,828
You don't want
to miss this, Marge.

113
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Sin, sin, sin!

114
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Horseplay?
Roughhousing'?

115
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,296
Horsehousing?

116
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,799
And here's the knave
what's responsible.

117
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,468
That's all I needed to hear.

118
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,229
Homer, I can't believe I was
thinking of letting you

119
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touch my elbow
through a cloth.

120
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,149
But, baby,
a man has needs.

121
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,571
Our captain's
be-head-bumped.

122
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,871
Oh, I guess we'll never
make it to the new world.

123
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:48,075
Oh, when we landed I was going to
denounce my sister as a witch.

124
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,664
I keep telling you
the ability to add

125
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,088
two-digit numbers
is not witchcraft.

126
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,970
Thirty-one plus forty-three?
Seventy-four.

127
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,966
Witch, witch, witch!

128
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,044
People, this is madness!

129
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,925
We can burn the witch later.

130
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,677
Right now I've got
to save this ship.

131
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,930
Hey, I've been driving
drunk since I was 12.

132
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,853
But first, who's going
to help me pee?

133
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,733
They're looking at me 'cause I
have the key to the stocks.

134
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:20,607
Don't worry, Marge.

135
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,239
I'll see to it you
fundamentalist Christians

136
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:27,198
live to take over all America
by the 21st century.

137
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:35,373
Look! An albatross.
It can lead us to safety.

138
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,755
Man, that bird did it all.

139
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,211
Good guy.

140
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,884
I just thought of a
name for where we're going.

141
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,344
New England.

142
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,721
Oh, that's real creative.

143
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,977
What do you call
your foot, "new hand"?

144
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,145
At least I'm pitching.

145
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,437
Land, ho!

146
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:55,892
What did you call me?

147
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,824
Great chief Wig-Gum,
we could never have survived

148
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,742
our first year in the
new world without you.

149
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:08,448
I almost regret what we Europeans
are going to do to you.

150
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,813
What, what are you
going to do?

151
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:13,077
Oh, give you the biggest
slice of pumpkin pie.

152
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,180
Also we're going to take
your land and wipe you out.

153
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,922
Who wants whipped topping?

154
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,515
Here's your bill. And will
there be anything else?

155
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,680
We haven't gotten
our food yet.

156
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,220
I'll look into it.

157
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:33,555
What the...

158
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,438
Who else has a story?
I do.

159
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,436
Homer, you can tell
the third story.

160
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,942
Bart will tell the second,
which is usually the weakest.

161
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,023
Hey!

162
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,908
I'm just trying to take
the pressure off of you.

163
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:49,371
Well, one time I read
this boring comic book

164
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,448
about a ship
called the Bounty.

165
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,704
Ooh, like the paper towels.

166
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,206
Go on.

167
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,084
Hurry up.

168
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,106
Captain Bligh, there's a
message from admiral Nelson.

169
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,222
Thank you, Mr. Christian.

170
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:15,272
"Bligh eats dolphin boogers."

171
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,725
Well, when you eat
as much dolphin as I do

172
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,731
there's bound to be a
booger or two in the mix.

173
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,314
Good morning, crew.

174
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,779
Welcome to day 718
of our voyage.

175
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,073
Today's announcements.

176
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,246
First of all, in an effort
to save water,

177
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,369
you will no longer
be given any water.

178
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,910
And because of
a drawing of myself

179
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:39,834
having romantic congress
with a merman...

180
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,343
I am dumping all
your mail from home into the sea.

181
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,590
And I can assure you
there were cookies in there.

182
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:51,673
Good cookies.

183
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,845
The kind only a loving mother or
Milhouse's father could make.

184
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,771
My father's alive?

185
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:57,938
No, he died while baking.

186
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,186
It's all in the letter.

187
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,688
I'm getting pretty
tired of that seawad.

188
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:07,115
This is nothing like
the recruiting brochure.

189
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,487
Maybe that's what
happens on the last day.

190
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,368
I warn you, Captain.

191
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:18,247
Push this crew too far
and there'll be mutiny.

192
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:21,129
Mutiny? On the Bounty?

193
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,623
What have you been smoking?

194
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,002
Opium.
Besides that.

195
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,180
Welcome to our
tropical paradise.

196
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:37,763
Enjoy our luaus, our
lagoons, and our ladies.

197
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:41,896
And remember, what happens
in Tahiti stays in Tahiti.

198
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:45,733
Because we have no way of
communicating with the outside world.

199
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:49,654
Tell me, has Robert Fulton
invented the steamboat yet?

200
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:50,858
Any day now.

201
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:54,742
Hip, hip.

202
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:58,700
Hip, hip.

203
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:02,871
Hip, hip.

204
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,885
When you're on a holiday.

205
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:12,131
You can't find
the words to say

206
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,849
I'm telling you,
I don't look like that.

207
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,058
Make another.

208
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,102
Yes, Lord Ugly-face.

209
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,605
And I wanna feel it too.

210
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,938
Don't just sit there,
help me!

211
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,027
We'll be playing
and having fun.

212
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,696
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Thanks for staying with us.

213
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:31,361
We appreciate you putting cloth
over our women's boobies.

214
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,947
You'll receive an updated bill
after you leave. Bye-bye.

215
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:38,281
I wish we were
back in Tahiti.

216
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,833
Why, yes, it was truly
an unforgettable vacation.

217
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,202
I order you to forget it.

218
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,124
And while you're working, I
want to hear a sea chantey...

219
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,590
In a round.

220
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:53,464
Row, row, row your
boat gently down the stream.

221
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,673
Rounder! I hear edges!

222
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,763
Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream.

223
00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,970
You're off-key.

224
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:02,935
Make that song your own.

225
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,484
You don't sound like you've ever
been on a boat in your life.

226
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:09,983
What the...

227
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,815
Captain, this is a mutiny.

228
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,948
Let's not be hasty here.

229
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:18,075
What if I introduce
a suggestion box?

230
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,698
We have a suggestion box.

231
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,913
You made it from the head of the
last guy who had a suggestion.

232
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:26,420
Yeah, but... I...

233
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,842
I warned you
there'd be mutiny.

234
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,385
Just start rowing, Willie.

235
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,052
And sing a round while you do.

236
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:37,591
Row, row, row your boat gently.

237
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:42,851
Row, row, merrily, merrily Bound
the down gently down the...

238
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,023
Merrily down the...

239
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,441
I cannot do it!

240
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:47,774
I'm only one man.

241
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,477
You'll sing or you'll mutiny.

242
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,822
And you're too much of
a spineless coward for that.

243
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,610
Swim faster or I'll have
you made into soup.

244
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,409
What are you going
to do, go underwater?

245
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,665
I'd like to see that.

246
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,828
You call this deep?

247
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:12,045
This is your new captain
saying, "Next stop, Tahiti."

248
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,105
And we're going to
remove all evidence of

249
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,850
the previous regime, starting
with this stupid wheel.

250
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:31,858
Well, I know you had your doubts,
men, but there they are,

251
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,564
the most beautiful
women in the world.

252
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,613
Those are penguins.

253
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,913
Well, look at it this way. We're
going to discover the North Pole.

254
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:43,114
South Pole.

255
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:44,825
Oh, boy, do I suck.

256
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:45,908
Yeah.

257
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:56,549
I'm starting to think the
Sea Captain isn't coming back.

258
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,512
He's out there
playing basketball.

259
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,593
In your face, Julio.

260
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,764
I'll be fetching
your food right away.

261
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:09,599
Six more games.

262
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:13,527
Well, I guess we have time for
my tale of moist adventure.

263
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:16,152
It takes place
in a dark time for mankind

264
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,991
when madness
and ignorance ruled.

265
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,619
The 1970s.

266
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,198
Rock the boat
Don't rock the boat, baby.

267
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,499
Rock the boat
Don't tip the boat over.

268
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,793
Rock the boat
Don't rock the boat, baby.

269
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:32,501
Disco Stu has some
troubling news.

270
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,584
The ship's doctor has
reported an outbreak of...

271
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,469
Disco fever!

272
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,931
The only cure is to do a little
dance, make a little love,

273
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,553
get down tonight.

274
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,194
Wait a minute.
What was the second one?

275
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,597
And now let's welcome
the LeRoy Neiman of seamen,

276
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:52,150
your captain,
Montgomery Burns.

277
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,114
Ten-four, good buddy.

278
00:14:58,189 --> 00:14:59,862
I'm Chevy Chase
and you're not.

279
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,739
Willy Stargell!

280
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,822
Yes, welcome to the maiden
voyage of the Neptune,

281
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,957
the world's most
unflippable luxury liner.

282
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,076
Help yourselves
to some pineapple

283
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,332
upside-down cake
and apple turnovers.

284
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,460
And you'll all be
getting free hats,

285
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:17,550
so make sure to
give us your cap size!

286
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:23,347
What a fascinating
cross-section of humanity.

287
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,758
You've got the lonely,
but lovable loser...

288
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,267
Hello, Angels.

289
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,095
Your mission today
involves going

290
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,146
undercover at
a wet t-shirt contest.

291
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:33,941
Just get you wet...

292
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:36,319
Uh, maybe not so lovable.

293
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,404
And you've got the elderly
Jewish couple

294
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,356
making their first
trip to Israel.

295
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:44,403
Our son, Shlomo is working
on a kibbutz in Haifa.

296
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,696
We're schlepping
him some kreplach.

297
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,615
We're Jewish,
all right!

298
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,875
What's our back story?
What's our back story?

299
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,535
We're the band.
And we're on!

300
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:59,884
I think we're
heading for disaster.

301
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:04,343
And most of you
will not be saved.

302
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:09,810
Unless the captain
is attentive.

303
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:14,687
We'll all be crushed
by a huge wave

304
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,393
Mmm, I love the sea,
Smithers.

305
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:20,196
No earthquakes,
towering infernos,

306
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,820
China syndromes,
apple dumpling gangs...

307
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:37,046
My wig!
I mean, my natural hair!

308
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,924
Mamma mia! What a time
to be carrying the soup.

309
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,380
Whoa!

310
00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:43,132
Cool! No gravity!

311
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:44,716
Oh, there it is.

312
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,769
Hey, you schmuck,
get off of me!

313
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,139
Goin' out with a sight gag.

314
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,315
Nice.

315
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,237
I got an idea.
Climb into my mouth.

316
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,366
No!

317
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,696
Catch me, Flanders!

318
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,335
Lord, with you watching over
me, I shall feel no pain.

319
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:23,046
Woo-hoo!
It's almost New Year's!

320
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,923
Ten, nine, eight...

321
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:28,381
Homer, the ship's upside down and
hundreds of people are dead!

322
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,679
...three, two, one...

323
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:31,975
Happy New Year!

324
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,977
My resolution
is to be more fun.

325
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,651
Attention, everyone!
I've spent the entire cruise

326
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,319
reading these
maintenance brochures

327
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:44,071
because as a lonely
single woman,

328
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,306
I've had nothing
better to do.

329
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,985
"Aw" s are cheap.
I'm lookin' for some action.

330
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:52,701
I thought so.

331
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:55,708
It says here we should head
upwards towards the hull

332
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,998
before the ocean
starts filling the ship.

333
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,002
Don't listen to her!
She'll get us all killed!

334
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:03,500
The safest thing to do is to
resume our normal activities.

335
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,502
Now where is
the rumba instructor?

336
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,838
Okay, so that's left, left, right.
Come on, people!

337
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:20,108
So, now which way do we go in
this farkaktah flippity ship?

338
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,572
Homer, what should we do?

339
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,358
Uh, give me a second.
I'm in the bathroom.

340
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,988
What? I have great
ass suction.

341
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,035
Now, how about
a little privacy?

342
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:38,618
My keys!

343
00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:43,377
Whatever you do, don't look down.
I mean up!

344
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,509
I can't do this anymore.
It's too confusing!

345
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,087
Not that confusing.

346
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,306
This hatchway is jammed!

347
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,849
Move aside!

348
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,891
I'll use my
Swiss Army Bone.

349
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,857
Okay, the engine room is just
through this flooded area.

350
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:10,862
Somebody has to
take the rope,

351
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:12,158
swim through
to the other side

352
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:15,158
and tie it off so we can use
it as an underwater guideline.

353
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:17,244
Stand aside!

354
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:20,372
I shall perform the necessary heroics.
Thank you.

355
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,003
You?
Yes.

356
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,087
All I need is some
inspirational music...

357
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,302
When she passed away

358
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:31,345
I cried and cried all day.

359
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:35,345
Alone again
Naturally.

360
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,061
All right, I can see
this is all up to me.

361
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:42,981
Swim, fatty! Swim!

362
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:46,273
Oh, Homie! You did it.

363
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,128
I've tied it off.

364
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,456
You're all going to make it.

365
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,292
Tell the world
that I saved you all.

366
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,421
Don't tell me
what to do.

367
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:19,477
I hear knocking.
We're saved!

368
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,394
I don't know which
pains me more.

369
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,646
The flame or the irony!

370
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:34,234
Can you believe
it's the irony?

371
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:43,744
Oh, my God, our boat is upside-down.

372
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,334
You guys know
the way to Tahiti?

373
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,044
Way to go, genius!

374
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,630
You sailed into someone
else's tale of the sea.

375
00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,928
At least I'm not gay
for skeleton Kearney.

376
00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,601
Our ribs got tangled
75 years ago.

377
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:01,768
That's not gay.

378
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:04,084
Right. You keep believing that.