1
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:05,970
The Simpsons.

2
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,926
Next on Fox,
Carmen Electra stars in Boobs.

3
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,401
About a class of remedial reading
students and their teacher

4
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,482
who wants to be
taken seriously.

5
00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,809
Oh, I thought it was
about her boobs.

6
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:20,366
Tonight on Jock Center,

7
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,524
a slugger on 'roids,
Tiger Woods is annoyed,

8
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,524
and North Korean
missiles deployed.

9
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,921
But first, the commissioner
of pro football

10
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,843
has announced plans
to expand the league.

11
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,367
Owners will meet soon to award
a new team to one lucky city.

12
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:38,567
Well, it's a cinch Springfield
wont be that lucky city.

13
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,483
Yeah, the only
thing we're known for

14
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,483
is leading the country
in heart attacks.

15
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,087
Oh, I've had enough
of your stinkin' thinkin'.

16
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,288
I, Homer Simpson,
will personally bring

17
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,886
the new pro football
franchise to Springfield.

18
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:04,926
God, we have fun.

19
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,971
Homie, snagging a pro football
franchise is a big project

20
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,486
requiring a lot
of follow through.

21
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,562
And that's not your
strong suit, big guy.

22
00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:14,971
I'll show you all.

23
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,805
I'm gonna spearhead the hell
out of this expansion bid.

24
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:43,325
Ring around the rosy.

25
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,288
Homie, you've been
down here for a week.

26
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,249
I really think you need...

27
00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,603
What the Hellmann's
Real Mayonnaise?

28
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,490
Marge, meet pro football's
newest team,

29
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,166
the Springfield Meltdowns!

30
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,328
Plus, I designed
a state-of-the-art stadium.

31
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,368
We'll fund it with
corporate naming rights.

32
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,841
It's the Duff
Beer-Krustyburger-Buzz Cola-

33
00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:06,410
Costington's Department Store.

34
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,323
Kwik-E-Man-
Stupid Flanders Park.

35
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,525
So Homer do good?

36
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,962
Homer do great.

37
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:21,804
Uh, maybe Homer brush teeth first?
Oh.

38
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:27,610
Gentlemen, I've narrowed our choice
of expansion cities down to two,

39
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:28,727
Springfield...

40
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,485
Yee-haw! I own slums there!

41
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,131
...and Los Angeles, which
has sent us this videotape.

42
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,565
I love LA.

43
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:42,445
Oh, hi, I'm Rob Reiner, director
of When Harry Met Sally.

44
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,490
"I'll have what she's having"
was one of the lines.

45
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,291
I'm here to tell you why you
should choose LA over Springfield.

46
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,244
LA has the beach,

47
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,961
a thriving music scene, and
the beautiful Getty Museum.

48
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,089
Springfield has
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.

49
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,282
Hollywood takes in
talented actors

50
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,522
and writers from
all over the world.

51
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,570
Springfield takes in
garbage from other cities.

52
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,364
But don't just
take my word for it.

53
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,528
Some of Hollywood's
biggest stars

54
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,523
have taken the time
to sign waivers

55
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,809
allowing celebrity impersonators
to sing in this video.

56
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,327
Enjoy.

57
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,365
LA makes great movies.

58
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,081
And awesome TV shows.

59
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:44,364
Springfield don't make nothin'

60
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,410
'Cause Springfield blows.

61
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,689
Springfield blows.

62
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:57,641
Springfield blows.

63
00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,406
Yes, Springfield blows.

64
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,644
I'm sick of LA.

65
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,850
They got earthquakes, wildfires,
Benniffers, Brangelinas,

66
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,605
and that potty mouth
Sarah Silverman.

67
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:12,761
To hell with all of them!

68
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:16,128
I didn't kill my husband lo
get control of his franchise

69
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,804
to give a team
to Los Angeles!

70
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,729
Then Springfield it is!

71
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:20,841
Yee-haw!

72
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,324
Now if you'll excuse
me, I gotta go

73
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,324
tell my gay grandson
I still love him.

74
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,809
This is Kent Brockman live at
Duff Beer-Krustyburger-Buzz Cola-

75
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,451
Costington's Department Store-
Kwik-E-Mart-Stupid Flanders Park.

76
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,211
In just one hour the commissioner
of football will arrive

77
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:39,011
to sign the contracts
necessary to make Springfield

78
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:43,130
the home of pro football's
newest team, The Meltdowns!

79
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,611
I've got Melt mania.

80
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,206
I've got Downs syndrome!

81
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,656
In honor of
the commissioner's visit,

82
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,728
the city has been
re-painted in the team colors

83
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,371
and all the streets
whimsically renamed.

84
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,410
Touchdown Avenue?
Delightful!

85
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,802
Who you talking to?
Your imaginary girlfriend?

86
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,288
Argh! Isn't your mother
a well-known whore?

87
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:07,200
You win this round, Mel.

88
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,809
It is my honor to introduce
the commissioner of football,

89
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,723
Mr. Bud Armstrong!

90
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,931
There, uh, seems to be
some delay.

91
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,168
Did I ever tell you people about
the time I met Lloyd Bridges?

92
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:26,770
Yeah, you
passed him in the airport!

93
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,205
Yes, but which airport?

94
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,248
Hartsfield in Atlanta!

95
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:38,970
Ugh, this map says things like Oak
Street and Evergreen Terrace.

96
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,203
But all I see are
Two-Point-Conversion Avenue

97
00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:45,124
and Off-Season Knee
Surgery Boulevard.

98
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,241
I'd better call
and ask for directions.

99
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,849
I'll just Blackberry my assistant.

100
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:55,681
Oh, my God.

101
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:56,921
Oh, what a day.

102
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,965
Who are ya?
What do you want?

103
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,769
What year is it?
Who are ya?

104
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,243
I have to borrow your phone. Oh, I
also need to use your bathroom.

105
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,404
As you can tell,
I've been crying.

106
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,770
Tonight on 48 Minutes

107
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,764
we look at America's number
one problem,

108
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:19,562
criminals who prey on the elderly
people who watch this program.

109
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,290
I'd go to some
geezer's house

110
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,681
and ask to use their
phone or their bathroom.

111
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,764
Well, I'm done with the bathroom.

112
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,360
Now, I'm going to make
that phone call. Oh.

113
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,488
Then I'd steal
their wallets, jewelry

114
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,449
and pictures of
their grandkids.

115
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,090
I made a collage of these

116
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,801
and when you step back, it
looks like my face.

117
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,288
If I knock him out,
I'll be a hero

118
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:48,530
and people will listen
to my loose brain nonsense.

119
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,569
By the shores
of Gitche Gumee,

120
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,722
by the Shining
Big-Sea-Water,

121
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,129
stood the Wiggum of Nokomis.

122
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,647
I'm sorry, did I just say "Wiggum"?
I meant "wigwam".

123
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,131
Let me, uh, start again.

124
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,284
It's so strange that the
commissioner didn't show up.

125
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,886
Maybe, he's thinking of a
new shape for the football.

126
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,208
Not so tough
when someone hits you

127
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,243
from behind with
a golf club, are ya?

128
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,808
Grampa, that's
the commissioner of football!

129
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,370
What the... You...

130
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,603
I thought he was
trying to steal my jewels

131
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,445
and all them pictures
of Bert and Lucy!

132
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,688
I am never coming back
to this city!

133
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,285
And neither is the league!

134
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,044
You mean...
That's right.

135
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,249
The Springfield Meltdowns
Football Club shall never be!

136
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:59,040
You're a useless old man. Name one
thing you do for this family!

137
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,610
I watch the baby.

138
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,045
Where is the baby?

139
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,930
You left me with a baby?

140
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,924
Hey, Abe, thanks for losing
us our football team!

141
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,606
Thanks to you, we have
a $100-million stadium

142
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,604
we can only use
for farmers markets.

143
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:25,730
Nobody loves you
when you're old and gray.

144
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:35,007
Nobody needs you
when you're upside-down.

145
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:42,764
Everyone's hollering
about their own birthday.

146
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,085
Everybody loves you.

147
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:52,529
When you're six
foot in the ground.

148
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,761
You're the only
smile I got.

149
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:58,641
On.

150
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,968
Abe, I know you've been
real depressed lately

151
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,283
on account of everyone hating
ya, including me.

152
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,480
But I thought you might
want to call this number.

153
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,210
A doctor? I already got
enough doctors touching me

154
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,248
and poking me
and squeezing me up here

155
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,129
and jiggling me
down there!

156
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,929
And that's just
the receptionist!

157
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,047
Abe, Abe, Abe!

158
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,249
This doctor helps old people
to kill themselves.

159
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:21,801
Euthanasia?

160
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,611
No way, I want to die
with dignity,

161
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:28,605
like slipping in the shower and
then they find me two weeks later

162
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:32,048
swelling up so bad they don't
know if I'm man or sofa!

163
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,724
Just go for a visit.

164
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,929
There's a Howard Johnson's next door.
You'll get some pie.

165
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,526
Mr. Simpson, you are a good
candidate for assisted suicide.

166
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,331
Aw, I think you're cute, too.

167
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,562
But killing yourself
isn't as easy

168
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,802
as putting on an ugly
sweater like you did today.

169
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,288
I want you to carefully think
about this for 24 hours.

170
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:57,891
Oh, I see.

171
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,928
You want me to reconsider
whether or not

172
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,923
I really should
give up my life.

173
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,485
Yeah, and we're cleaning out
the death machine today.

174
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,090
Lotta gunk gets stuck in it.

175
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,001
Okay.

176
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:16,722
If I get a single phone call in the
next 24 hours, I'll keep on living.

177
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,651
If you go, can I have your
blanket and your liver?

178
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,803
Blanket, sure.
Liver, never!

179
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,362
Homie, you should
give your dad a call.

180
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,602
You can't stay
mad at him forever.

181
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:30,520
Yeah, you're right.

182
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,769
Y'ello? You want my
opinion on current movies?

183
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,008
Well, first of all,
they're all perfect.

184
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,162
Also, when's the Cap'n Crunch
movie coming out?

185
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,890
And will it be R or hard R?

186
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,329
Oh, that's it.
It's time for me to die.

187
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:56,206
I'll just get mad about one
thing in the newspaper then go.

188
00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:00,001
"President visits Europe."
On my dime?

189
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,721
I am so honored that you've
chosen me to murder you.

190
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,009
You'll be following in the footsteps
of Socrates, Virginia Woolf,

191
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,442
Ernest Hemingway, Hunter S.
Thompson and Fred Kanickee.

192
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,567
Who's Fred Kanickee?

193
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,608
My appointment before you.
Nice guy.

194
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,569
Just a little screwed up.

195
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,849
Now, it is time to hook
you up to the diePOD.

196
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:28,685
As you surrender your body,

197
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:32,009
what music and visual imagery
would you like to experience?

198
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,527
I want to hear
the Glenn Miller Orchestra

199
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,807
and I want to see
cops beating up hippies.

200
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,241
One minute to go.

201
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,290
Hands off the stiff,
Manfred Manslaughter!

202
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,605
The voters just
overturned the assisted suicide law.

203
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,291
I'll kill you all!
When the law is reversed.

204
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,204
I'd like to see you try!
When the law is reversed.

205
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,646
I think you know my
brother-in-law, Fred Kanickee?

206
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:23,721
Oh, boy.

207
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,691
I'm dead.
I never felt so alive!

208
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,411
And I got my
16-year-old body back.

209
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,561
Woo-hoo!

210
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:38,811
Look out!

211
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:39,967
Idiot!

212
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,202
Now, let's see.
Am I in heaven or hell?

213
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,968
That's odd. You'd think
they'd come back as the cows.

214
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,164
Charlie Chaplin?
They sure put you to work.

215
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,443
You said it. And you can talk.
Good for you.

216
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,167
What...

217
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,004
You're all dead, too?

218
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,845
So who went berserk?
Fatso or the little guy?

219
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,968
We're not dead
and neither are you.

220
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,360
I'm not?

221
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,603
I guess if you want to
commit suicide around here,

222
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,250
you gotta do it yourself.

223
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:14,850
Suicide?

224
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,446
Grampa, killing
yourself is a sin.

225
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,091
God wants us to die
of old age,

226
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,164
after years of pain
and reduced mobility.

227
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:27,564
I ain't gonna kill myself because
I just learned something.

228
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,003
The brief time
I thought I was dead

229
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,923
was the happiest
I've ever been

230
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,321
because I was finally
living without fear.

231
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:42,086
And dagnabit, that's the way I'm
gonna live the rest of my life!

232
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,889
I am, I am

233
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,531
I am Superman.

234
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:51,002
And I know what's happening.

235
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,762
I am, I am

236
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,411
I am Superman.

237
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,323
And I can do anything.

238
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,324
You're all gonna die
in a pointless war.

239
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,401
We're here tonight
to discuss possible uses

240
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,891
for this football stadium,

241
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,048
including
the solid gold statue

242
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,168
of Mike Ditka
with diamond eyes.

243
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:20,167
I suggest we use the stadium for
the ancient art of the toreador.

244
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,241
Bullfighting!

245
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,401
Yes!

246
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,610
No, wait, wait! Bullfighting
is a cruel pseudo-sport.

247
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,490
Lisa's right!
It is a cool super sport!

248
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,928
Everyone in favor of bringing
bullfighting to Springfield,

249
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,161
say, olé.

250
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,571
Olé!

251
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,483
So ordered!
All we need now is...

252
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:38,891
Uh, er...

253
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,206
Uh, er...

254
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:43,721
A matador.

255
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:47,168
If it's all the same to you,
I'll take on those bulls!

256
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,526
Grampa, no!

257
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,685
Grampa, sf. If the bull
dies, the crowd goes wild.

258
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,127
If Grampa dies,
the crowd goes wild.

259
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:58,761
Either way, we make a fortune
on souvenirs and snacks.

260
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,207
Uh, can we bring
outside food?

261
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,449
Not even gum.

262
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:13,530
Is the practice bull ready?

263
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,405
Hell, yeah!

264
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,241
Olé.

265
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,570
Ooh, a penny.
This is my lucky day.

266
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,485
Yep, my lucky day.

267
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:43,762
How many bulls
must my grandfather kill...

268
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,251
Aw, she's so cute.

269
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,527
We'll bring you the
bull's heart, sweetie.

270
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,325
Well,
I had my doubts.

271
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,688
But Grampa sure looks
manly in those leggings.

272
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,603
And I don't know
who's more handsome,

273
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,331
the bull taunter
or the bull stabber.

274
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,806
And the corrida
de toros has begun!

275
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,367
The bull
charges at Grampa Simpson.

276
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,770
And he avoids the toro
with a masterfui veronica!

277
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,569
This old man has no fear,

278
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,644
like the fear I feel that I
have left the iron on at home.

279
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:32,801
Have I? Have I?

280
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,481
And another
veronica and another.

281
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,449
That last veronica means
everyone here today

282
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,249
has won a free side
of rice and beans

283
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,004
at the Springfield
Taco Pronto.

284
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:45,403
Tired of waiting two hours for a taco?
Go to Taco Pronto!

285
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,641
Grampa, I think you should
give up the bullfighting.

286
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,161
Forget it! I'd look pretty
stupid in this outfit

287
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,447
walking around
fighting oysters!

288
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,409
But you just got
a new lease on life.

289
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,404
Why would you want to use it
to hurt poor helpless animals?

290
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,001
Listen, I'm 83 years old

291
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:41,529
and for the first time in my life,
people are cheering for me.

292
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,851
I was always cheering for
you, Grampa, till now.

293
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,882
Oh, how does she always
know how to get to me?

294
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,847
Grampa Simpson's
movements are tentative

295
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:03,924
as if he's distracted.

296
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,321
Distracted as if
by a moral dilemma,

297
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,051
a moral dilemma
posed by a young boy...

298
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:12,727
No, a girl. A girl named Linda.
Ne, Lisa!

299
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,570
The flutter of
the cape tells all.

300
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:21,847
HOMER
Hurry up and kill n.

301
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,968
I have to be at
the opera by 7:00.

302
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,925
Come on!
Kill it! Come on!

303
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,361
I don't get what
he's doing and I'm smart.

304
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,522
Not book smart
or street smart

305
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,762
or brain smart,
but somethin'.

306
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,410
He has released
the bulls from the stadium.

307
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,369
Thank God I am up high.

308
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,006
Please, no. I have a wife
and three girlfriends.

309
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,407
Grampa must've
set them free.

310
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:31,082
Oh, Gil's back on track. He's got
a new job and a new red suit.

311
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:40,287
If you let me go,

312
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,569
I give you free large pizza
pie with purchase of same.

313
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:47,042
Offer not good Tuesday through Sunday.
We're closed on Monday.

314
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,846
Santa Maria!

315
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,202
Thanks for setting me
straight, sweetie.

316
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,850
De nada, Grampa.

317
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,924
It sure is
peaceful up here.

318
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,208
I would like to name
the following friends of mine

319
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,850
as members of
the Communist Party.

320
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,168
You're just here to
test the microphone.

321
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,242
Fred Wilson, my brother Bill,
Dom DiMaggio,

322
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:29,041
the paper boy, Howdy Doody,
Joseph Stalin...