1 00:00:01,720 --> 00:00:04,610 The Simpsons. 2 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,120 I'm so stoked about Lenny's party. 3 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,089 He said he's gonna make a surprise announcement. 4 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,522 Ooh, maybe he's getting married. 5 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,847 Why the hell would he want to do that? 6 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,607 Blessed sacrament that has made my life so rich. 7 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,801 I like your hat, sweetie. 8 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,445 I'm not wearing a hat! 9 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,529 I mean the one at the house. 10 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,967 Another party and we can't go. 11 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,931 Yeah. Just because we's afraid of using the uppity-box. 12 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:43,567 Hey, Ned. 13 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,609 Ain't no party like a Lenny party 14 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,682 'cause a Lenny party don't stop! 15 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,526 I gotta work tomorrow. I better go. 16 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:53,521 Oh, my God. 17 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,481 How did Lenny get to be Newsfake Magazine's man of the year? 18 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,206 That's just a souvenir from an amusement park. 19 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,090 What? Next you'll be telling me 20 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,685 he didn't meet Woody Woodpecker. 21 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,251 I dated the woman in that suit for three months. 22 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,726 Then she left me for the guy 23 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,564 who cleans the vomit off the roller coasters. 24 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,531 Lenny, I see you cut the celery at an angle here. 25 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,001 Makes my straight-cut celery look like crap. 26 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,611 Attention, everybody. Please shut up. 27 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,921 I know you're all wondering why you're here. 28 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,889 The fact is I'm dying 29 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,605 to tell you that I have adopted. 30 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,489 a new faith 31 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,928 In the power of technological advances to make me happy! 32 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:41,131 That's right! I've got a new plasma screen HDTV. 33 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,886 I've never seen a picture so highly defined! 34 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,601 Lenny, this TV is amazing! 35 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,848 If you're not careful, I might just spend 36 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,888 the rest of my life on your couch. 37 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,844 You don't mean that literally, of course? 38 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,128 You're right, Lenny. I... 39 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,283 Lenny, bring me a beer and your deepest chamber pot. Chop-chop. 40 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,481 Look at that picture quality. 41 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,968 You can see the soulless emptiness in that shark's eyes. 42 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,330 Two and a Half Men. 43 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:43,400 You can see the soulless emptiness in Charlie Sheen's eyes. 44 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,245 Dad, please come home. 45 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:47,970 We miss you. 46 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,242 Is that a high-def TV? 47 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,322 Mom didn't say anything about high def! 48 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:56,411 Later if I have enough energy, 49 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,050 we can walk up to the TV 50 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,924 and I'll show you how thin it is. 51 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,087 Wow. 52 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,162 There's a rainbow outside. 53 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,242 Oh, yeah? Well, right there's a commercial 54 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,209 with a dancing cold sore. 55 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,207 Break out. 56 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,081 Break out. 57 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:25,810 And Bodell Janx the Third crashes into Bodell Janx. 58 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,482 The winner is Bodell Janx Junior. 59 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,762 Wow. 60 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:34,002 I can actually feel the heat. 61 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,003 Beat it. This is my alone time. 62 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,327 Can you at least take a picture of me with the TV? 63 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,129 I ain't falling for that again. 64 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,488 Oh, yeah. Good times. 65 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,407 Stupid non-plasma TV. 66 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,802 Picture's so blurry, might as well rub dirt in my eyes. 67 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,450 Homie, I've been thinking. 68 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,570 We have been using this TV for a long time. 69 00:04:55,680 --> 00:05:00,322 So I entered a contest where the first prize is a plasma-screen TV. 70 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,802 Oh! Marge! I love you! I love you! I love you! 71 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,526 Now I really hope we win that contest. 72 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,090 There's a chance we won't win? 73 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:25,051 My collection is complete. Forty years of The Family Circus. 74 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:32,921 Y'ello? 75 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,968 Congratulations, Mr. Simpson. You've won. 76 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,605 The big-screen TV? 77 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,451 No. No one wins that. You won third prize. 78 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,166 A tour of the Fox Network in Los Angeles, California. 79 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:43,924 All expenses paid? 80 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,128 Oh, look. I gotta go. 81 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,850 Here's where we make The Best Damn Sports Show Period. 82 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,761 And there's where we make the worst damn comedy show, period. 83 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,521 Ooh, why, look! 84 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,444 There's Dan Castellaneta from The Tracey Ullman Show. 85 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:12,241 Hey, funny man! Say something funny! 86 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,364 Please don't lean out of the tram, sir. You might get hurt. 87 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,363 "Oh, don't lean out of the tram..." 88 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,291 Here's where we develop our many reality shows. 89 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,085 There's Dwarf or Midget? America Decides. 90 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,401 And Million Dollar Fart-Off. 91 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,881 Mother Flippers? What's this show about? 92 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,203 Uh, this is a reality program, dear, where we take wives 93 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:35,884 from two very different families 94 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,644 and they trade places for a month. 95 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,485 I already saw that exact same show on another network. 96 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,685 Here, sweetie. Have a Fox sweatshirt. 97 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,968 This is an ABC sweatshirt. 98 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,970 Yeah. And it zips all the way up. 99 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,368 She'll be coming 'round the mountain. 100 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,408 'Cause I'm saving all my love for you. 101 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,881 She'll be coming 'round the mountain. 102 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,041 Spray 'em down. 103 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,761 So what's the prize on this wife swap show? 104 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,320 Oh, about enough to buy a new plasma TV. 105 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,529 That's just the product I've been coveting! 106 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,726 Pick us! Pick us! 107 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:10,847 Ah, not so fast. 108 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,366 Are you sure you want your most intimate moments broadcast 109 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:14,480 across the country? 110 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,682 Are you kidding? Take a look at my DVD. 111 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:20,526 They'll never let me near Lake Havasu again. 112 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,441 What are you doing, Homer? 113 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,682 I'm signing us up for a reality show 114 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,205 where we trade you to another family. 115 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,125 Well, that might be interesting. 116 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,851 Or it could damage many, many lives. 117 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,287 Oh, Marge, you're the greatest mom ever. 118 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,567 I want the whole world to see that. 119 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,603 That's very sweet. But I... 120 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:39,936 Look, ma'am, I've done a lot of these. 121 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,201 Everybody has fun, no one gets hurt, 122 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,176 and you make a lot of money you could really use. 123 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,647 And if you say yes now, it'll make a great act break. 124 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,247 I'll do it! 125 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:51,731 Perfect. But could you say it again 126 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,643 with more emphasis on the "I'll?" 127 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:54,960 I'll do it! 128 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,724 Mmm, no, no. Go back to the first way. 129 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,531 I'll do it! Wait, wait. I wasn't happy with that. 130 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,736 You know what? Just do it the way it feels comfortable to you. 131 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,205 I'll do it! 132 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:11,280 I'll do it! I'll do it! 133 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:12,560 How was that? 134 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,125 Uh, we'll get it later. 135 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:18,806 These are the Heathbars. 136 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,649 Verity, who will be your new mom, 137 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,286 is the youngest ever full professor at Yale. 138 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,727 I got my tenure at 28. 139 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:30,169 Oh, really? Bart, when did you get your tenure? 140 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,169 I got my tenure right here. 141 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:35,284 Yeah? Well, I have full tenure! 142 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,447 Ugh! We better pixelate those. 143 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,443 There aren't enough pixels in the world! 144 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,968 Yeah. Urn, just cover it with Ryan Seacrest's head. 145 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:46,281 This is Charles. 146 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,450 You can call me Charlie, but do not call me late 147 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,204 when there are scones about. 148 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:53,806 A little British humor. 149 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,491 I'll bet the twist is he's gay. 150 00:08:57,560 --> 00:09:00,131 Your two families will exchange wives for a month. 151 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,767 Then a viewer vote will decide who they think is the least reprehensible. 152 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,045 I don't understand, Dad. 153 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,009 Our family has so many flaws. 154 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,208 Why must we share them with the world? 155 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:15,850 Because we'll be on TV and earn enough money to buy a TV! 156 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:17,321 TV! 157 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,482 But Dad... Yes, T-Visa? 158 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,767 Ugh! Forget it. 159 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:23,561 Listen up, Stonehenge. 160 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:27,406 I made a drawing of the places on Marge you can't touch. 161 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,484 Especially the hair! 162 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,610 You needn't worry. I'm a bit of an elbow man myself, actually. 163 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:36,446 Bit different, bit weird, not sexual. 164 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,201 You take forever to say nothing. 165 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,240 You know, you don't seem like 166 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,970 the money-hungry semi-stripper 167 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,247 who's usually on Fox. Why do you do it? 168 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,084 Well, I thought there was no further way 169 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,844 I could humiliate my husband. 170 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,321 And then this opportunity came along. 171 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,084 I see. 172 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,811 Well, I should be getting to the living room. 173 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,491 You know, I despise my husband. 174 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:02,450 Well, he didn't get the prize pig at the fair either. 175 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,841 Charles hasn't satisfied me in years. 176 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,241 Yeah. That's how I feel about Notre Dame football. 177 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,727 Cruel, dusty years. 178 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:13,326 I don't know why I ever married that woman! 179 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,126 So, Charles, what do you do for a living? 180 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,248 Well, I'm an office manager. 181 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,609 And no, I didn't even get a promotion today, again. 182 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:26,846 So go on. Go ahead. 183 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,491 Disembowel me with your pointy, pointy words. 184 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,962 Really? You manage a whole office? 185 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:38,085 Yes. Yes. Yes, I do, actually. 186 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,322 Well, that's very impressive. 187 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,210 Does that include the people and the furniture? 188 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,443 Yeah. And I decide where the Christmas party's held. 189 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:47,960 Actually, it's decided by committee, 190 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,367 but you know, I choose the committee. Hello? 191 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,251 I don't choose the committee as such, 192 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,926 but you know, I choose where they meet. 193 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:02,004 This year, I am thinking of Conference Room C. 194 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,966 That leaves A and B available for overflow. 195 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,530 Well done. 196 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,802 Bart, I told you, no television until you do the dishes. 197 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,400 And I do not call that doing the dishes. 198 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,607 Well, my mom says why bother punishing me? 199 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,171 I never learn. 200 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,964 Disgusting. 201 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:41,125 Young man, I'm going to turn that cartoon into homework! 202 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,005 Help me, cameraman. I let you smoke a cigarette in my bedroom! 203 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,526 That was a joint. And I have a name. It's Doug. 204 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,723 "Then Itchy used an ice cream scoop 205 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,245 "to scoop out Scratchys heart 206 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,129 "and make it a sundae. The end." 207 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:57,327 Now Homer, would you care to give your report on CSI: Miami? 208 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,289 Uh, okay. 209 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,844 "There's this guy that got killed. I think it was in Miami. 210 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,651 "So CSI: Miami investigated-ed it. 211 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,485 "Then a family said how much they loved the Olive Garden. 212 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,170 "Then I fell asleep. 213 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,564 "When I woke up, Letterman was talking to Alias." 214 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,162 That's wonderful! 215 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,249 Indeed. Now if you'll excuse me, 216 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,084 I have a Mandarin Chinese lesson. 217 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,167 He's a very impressive boy. 218 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,050 The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 219 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,283 A tree that's been alone for far too long. 220 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,483 I don't get it. Are you saying you're the tree? 221 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,403 Maybe. Are my roots showing? 222 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,687 Wordplay. Brilliant. 223 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:45,896 Would you like to hear a joke? 224 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,763 As long as it's not a knock-knock joke. 225 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,366 I always ruin them by saying, "Come in." 226 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,165 No, no. This joke is actually quite funny. 227 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,608 You see, this man, he finds a magic lamp. 228 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,085 And a genie comes out. 229 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,083 That's funny. That's just the setup. 230 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,811 Well, you've set me up for laughs down the road. 231 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,963 So the genie says, "I'll give you three wishes, 232 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,044 "but whatever you get, your wife gets double-." 233 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,286 Okay? Remember that. 234 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,010 Oh, how nice for her. 235 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:15,721 Now here's the humor. The man says, "I want a new car." 236 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,527 The genie says, "Your wife gets two." 237 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,165 Okay' remember the double? Yeah. 238 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,286 The man says, "I want a new house." 239 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:25,727 So the genie says, "Your wife gets two." 240 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:28,406 So the man says... 241 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,563 "Beat me half to death." 242 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,645 It's funny. Don't you get it? 243 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:35,960 Because she gets double. 244 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,610 So if he gets beaten half to death, 245 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,523 the wife would be beaten to death. 246 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,081 That sounds horrible. 247 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,286 I agree. Terrible. 248 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,647 Offensive towards women. 249 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,322 Little amusing, don't you think? No! 250 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,880 Me either. Spousal abuse, it's... It's a real problem. 251 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,696 It's not funny. It's tragic if anything, so... 252 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,041 Well, I liked the genie part. That was fun. 253 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,281 You think so? Yes. 254 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,125 I could really picture him with curly shoes 255 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,850 and smoke all over the place. 256 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,162 You're a born storyteller. 257 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,481 Uh, well, yeah. I suppose I am. 258 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,608 Yeah. Yeah. Not a murderer. 259 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,569 No. Hmm... 260 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:10,896 Would you like to hear another joke? 261 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:14,288 I sure would. Let me just get us some iced tea. 262 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,766 One more kind word from her and lam completely smitten. 263 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,525 Ooh, your toaster takes bagels. 264 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:23,886 How ritzy! 265 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,764 And there we have it. 266 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,884 What's that delicious smell? 267 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,890 I'm burning all your underwear. 268 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,730 What's with the kimono? Are we having La Choy? 269 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,450 No, Marge. 270 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,887 I was just sitting around drinking vermouth 271 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,243 and contemplating how just when you're drowning in a pit of despair, 272 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,563 life can throw you a beautiful, blue life preserver. 273 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,889 Huh. I thought life preservers only came in orange. 274 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,322 Because wouldn't it be hard to see blue in the ocean? 275 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,370 Buh, buh, buh, buh. No logic. Not tonight. 276 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,487 Where's Ben? 277 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,562 The housekeeper took him out for a walk. 278 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,241 How long do we have to stay here? 279 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,766 Until I'm sick of drinking these! 280 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,161 And I'm never sick of drinking these! 281 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,606 That's right. It just gets worse. 282 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,331 So you see, we have the whole house to ourselves. 283 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,211 Oh! Who left this here? 284 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,484 Did I tell you I'm a bit of a songwriter? 285 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,286 Words and music. Hold the applause. 286 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,931 I wrote this song for a woman. You. 287 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,442 Huh. What an odd thing for a man who's not interested in me to do. 288 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,170 Yes, not interested. 289 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,801 Let me just breathe your scent for a moment before I play. 290 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,770 Lady, when you came to me 291 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,888 I was feeling blue. 292 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,610 Blue just like your hair, you see. 293 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,887 Blue just like the moon. 294 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,529 But only when the moon is blue. 295 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,568 And not when it is green. 296 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,490 And now that you are here with me 297 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,608 I am in a dream. 298 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,684 Oh, yeah, Marge. Your dreams can come true. 299 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,286 Lady, when you go away 300 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,608 I feel like I could die. 301 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,211 Not like dye like your hair is dyed. 302 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,760 But die like Lady Di. 303 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,244 And not like Di like her name is Di. 304 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,886 But die like when she died. 305 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:54,250 But Lady just like Lady Di. 306 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,528 Be my princess tonight. 307 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,329 But don't die. 308 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,563 Don't die. No way. 309 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,802 That song was very nice. 310 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,888 How'd you think up so many rhyming words? 311 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,126 Marge, I love you! 312 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,680 And I can tell from your basic level of courtesy 313 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:09,841 that you love me, too. 314 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,924 What? No! Listen, Charles, 315 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,923 I don't want to hurt your feelings... 316 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,729 Because you love me, right? Admit it. 317 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,690 We were born to fall into each others arms on reality TV! 318 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,286 I'm sorry, but I love Homer. 319 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,840 Of course you do. 320 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,129 He's a real man. Not like me. 321 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,851 A miserable toad under the thumb of the biggest bitch 322 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,888 this side of the Westminster Kennel Club. 323 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,611 Charles, please, your son might see this! 324 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,920 He's not my son! 325 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,890 His real father's either the pool man or my wife's lover. 326 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,964 They're the main two candidates 327 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,730 I've narrowed it down to. Pretty sure. 328 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,723 Mmm. There, there. 329 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,689 God, I miss Homer. 330 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,086 I miss him, too. 331 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,766 What is it about him that is so damned irresistible? 332 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:56,449 Well, he's loved me ever since the first moment he saw me. 333 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:57,931 And he's never stopped. 334 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,082 And whatever it takes to make me happy, 335 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,128 he'll do it, even if it kills him. 336 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,089 Sorry, I ran out of tape just before that beautiful speech of hers. 337 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,447 But I got a great shot of him saying his son's a bastard. 338 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:14,088 Lisa? What are you doing in the Nutmeg State? 339 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,369 Fox flew me out here to bring you back. 340 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,450 They flew me on Prim-Lay's Air Force Yum. 341 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:23,002 And I'm required to say, "Come to the cool ranch and rope in flavor. 342 00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,281 "Yee haw." 343 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,646 Let's go home, sweetie. 344 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,610 I'm sure there's a hamper full of Homer waiting for me. 345 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:29,841 And I'm coming with you 346 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,725 to tell my sea hag of a wife, "You're fi red!" 347 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,891 I was doing, uh, Donald Trump, billionaire? 348 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,291 If you knew who he was, you'd be dying. 349 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:43,521 I know who Donald Trump is. 350 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,641 Me, too. 351 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,161 I don't think you do. Spot on. 352 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,371 She's nowhere to be seen! 353 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,089 Time to let Homer be Homer! 354 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,723 Homie, I missed you so much! 355 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,402 Put your pants back on. 356 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,329 Oh, Marge, thank God you're back! 357 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,091 She made me spend time with the kids! 358 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,243 And not just W time, talking time! 359 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,401 Where is she? 360 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,530 Where's the soul-sucking she-beast that I call sweet-ums? 361 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,006 Maggie? She's in her crib. 362 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:26,004 No. My soon-to-be ex-wife. 363 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,081 I, uh... 364 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,841 I don't think you want to see her just now. 365 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,604 Oh, yes, I do. 366 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,167 She's got the shock of her life coming to her. 367 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,810 Charles, I'm leaving you. 368 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,524 You snooze, you lose. 369 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,080 You're leaving me for him? 370 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:41,361 So it would appear. 371 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,568 However, Cousin Itt there was born a woman. 372 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,803 What brought us together is how much we hate you. 373 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,970 Yeah? Well, I'm gonna vote "No" on 38 so you can't adopt! 374 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,163 Kidding! Kidding! I don't vote. 375 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,130 The polling place is up a hill, and I never make it! Ow! 376 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,410 You make me laugh. 377 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,130 You make me cry. 378 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,210 Without you I'd just want to die. 379 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,884 For the rest of my life. 380 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,724 You'll be a fixture. 381 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,802 Now let me enjoy. 382 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:17,202 Your picture in picture. 383 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,403 And, Marge, you're pretty great, too. 384 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:20,891 Yeah, whatever. 385 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,482 Oh, yeah. Can you feel it? 386 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,727 Just over the credits. Just riffing now. 387 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,011 Words and chords. 388 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,769 Not the poetry and the real thing, 389 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,525 but not bad for an ad-lib. 390 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,443 Not good. But... 391 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,523 And it's not long enough. So just do a little bit more. 392 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,090 And that's nearly done. That's the final credit. 393 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:04,003 There, that's the end.