1
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,924
The Simpsons.

2
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,563
Well, well, Bart Simpson
in trouble again.

3
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,529
School hasn't
even started yet.

4
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,648
What can I say?
I missed you, Myra.

5
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:38,816
How's things
with you and Frank?

6
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:39,921
That bum.

7
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,606
He says his divorce
will be final next week.

8
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,569
So why is
she pregnant again?

9
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,722
Ouch! You hang in
there, beautiful.

10
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,526
So where's the Skin-man?

11
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,967
He's out admiring
his "new" car.

12
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,486
Ah, 1995.

13
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,883
A fine year for Camrys.

14
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:59,009
No one would ever guess you
spent three months in a lake.

15
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,091
Ay, caramba!

16
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,127
Thank you, Satan.

17
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,605
Just think, Milhouse.
From now on,

18
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,286
we'll always be "those kids who
got into the steam tunnels."

19
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,680
I gotta warn ya,
we could get in trouble.

20
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,240
I don't mind. Trouble's
a form of attention.

21
00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:40,768
Gentlemen, the moment
has finally arrived.

22
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:44,367
I'm renting a party bus and taking
all you regulars to Las Vegas.

23
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,283
Nevada?
That's right.

24
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:49,280
Moe, why are you
being so generous?

25
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,971
You're usually so stingy
and rat-like.

26
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,361
Yeah, well, you remember that
time I tried to hang myself

27
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,487
and the rope broke?

28
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,370
Well, I sued the rope company
and I got a huge settlement!

29
00:02:58,440 --> 00:02:59,440
And a new rope!

30
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,244
Wow.
Hey, nice rope.

31
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,163
You could hang a cow
with that thing.

32
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:07,085
These steam tunnels
are awesome!

33
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,527
It's like we're in the
school's lymphatic system

34
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,409
and we're the lymph!

35
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,964
Oh, my God!

36
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,088
My dad had a long talk
with me about this.

37
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,811
But you can't believe it
till you see it!

38
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,644
The cafeteria
loading dock!

39
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,205
Look, we're having
pizza tomorrow!

40
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,044
I'm gonna eat
a lighter breakfast.

41
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,442
Well, we made it
to the valve room.

42
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,722
Now we can leave
without touching a valve.

43
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,484
What a tale that'll be!

44
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,848
Hey, we can't leave here without
turning one little valve.

45
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,127
Yeah. It'd be like
going to Amsterdam

46
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,931
and not taking a walking
tour of famous doors.

47
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,642
Hmm. That's odd. We only turn
the heat on for Parents Night.

48
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,330
What the F-minus?

49
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,761
Steam!

50
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:15,564
Grover Cleveland's second term
was, if anything, more uneventful.

51
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,287
Look! A new kid! Get him!

52
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,242
Our instruments are rusting!

53
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,721
We're going a cappella,
people!

54
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,010
I've got two kinds
of wet in my pants!

55
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,524
Oh, it's so hot.
I need a drink.

56
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,561
No water fountain
outwits Willie!

57
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,090
Maybe I'll just have a soda.

58
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,922
Mmm, this wood is more buckled
than a pilgrim's hat.

59
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,002
But who's responsible?

60
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,008
Don't bother struggling.

61
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,764
I've got your scruff!

62
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:38,491
Can I cut a deal?
I'll give you Milhouse.

63
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,801
I don't want Milhouse.

64
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,770
Sounds like my parents'
custody hearing.

65
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,043
Myra, can you help
me out here?

66
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,845
Forget it. This used
to be a croissandwich.

67
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,571
Now it's a ham
and cheese car crash.

68
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,051
Yes, thank you, Myra.

69
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,726
To highlight the seriousness
of Bart's offense,

70
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,486
Superintendent Chalmers will
be joining us by video uplink.

71
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,131
And joining me
by video uplink,

72
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,009
State Comptroller Atkins.

73
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,366
Can we move this along?

74
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:11,364
I'm attending an important
conference here in Scottsdale.

75
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:15,684
You're in Scottsdale? I'm in Scottsdale!
At the Hyatt! Room 381!

76
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,161
Get outta here!
I'm in 502.

77
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,527
Hey, do you guys have any
ice buckets down there?

78
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,967
No. We've been
using shower caps.

79
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,326
Skinner!

80
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,246
You made that TV show
really mad.

81
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,130
Yes, but you won't think it's so
funny when we send Bart here!

82
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:36,403
"Upward Bound,
the toughest behavioral

83
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,290
"modification camp
in Northwest Oregon."

84
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:42,125
It's the only place cruel
enough to straighten Bart out.

85
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,406
They use a proven concept.

86
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,563
Tough hate to turn around
foul-mouthed hooligans.

87
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:50,690
Then they send them home
quietly ticking away.

88
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,411
This camp's got it all.

89
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,403
Climbing some
kind of rope thing,

90
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,768
wearing a backpack,
high five-ing the black kid!

91
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,081
It's the perfect thing
to straighten you out!

92
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:03,920
Got it!

93
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,762
Now I have a ring tone for
my brand new cell phone.

94
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,604
No wires at all.

95
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,762
Except this one.

96
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,286
Hey, check it out!
I made it partially risqué!

97
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:28,527
Hey, guys. I have to put the boy
on a plane to soul-crushing camp.

98
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,090
Then I'll be back
to go to Vegas.

99
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,605
Dad, if you take
me to Vegas,

100
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,320
I'll teach you how
to cheat at blackjack.

101
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,966
Boy, you don't need to cheat
when you got a system.

102
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,040
What's your system?

103
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,129
I don't tell your mother
how much I've lost.

104
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,128
One child to Portland!

105
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,886
He's your problem now!

106
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,361
It seems he was
our problem before.

107
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,129
Your son is on
the "no fly" list.

108
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,806
Why,
there must be some mistake.

109
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,885
There's no mistake. It seems the
last time he flew unescorted...

110
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:03,601
Welcome to Atlanta.

111
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,763
Please keep your seatbelt fastened
until we have come to a complete stop.

112
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,766
Nobody tells Bart
Simpson what to do!

113
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,763
Thanks a lot, 33C!

114
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,162
Now we all have to go back to Minneapolis!
And I'm very tired!

115
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,805
Well, Homer, looks like I
can't go to discipline camp.

116
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,803
Which is too bad,
because I think

117
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,531
this was the thing that would
finally straighten me out.

118
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,841
Oh, yeah?
You're going to that camp

119
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,810
because I'm gonna
drive you there!

120
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,724
Oh, yeah, that'll be way
more fun than Vegas.

121
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,163
Oh, dang.
Homer ain't coming.

122
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,090
And Nelson
saw something funny.

123
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,525
Stupid Bart makes me
drive to Oregon.

124
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,161
Home of unspoiled forest,
birthplace of Matt Greening.

125
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,844
Dad, neither of us
want to go.

126
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:12,206
Why are you doing this?

127
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,846
Where's the old carefree Homer
who likes to cut loose?

128
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,001
You mean Fun Homer?

129
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,731
I'm afraid Serious Homer
has him locked up

130
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,087
till you're at your
snooty torture camp.

131
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,084
Fight back, Fun Homer!
Together we can win!

132
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,730
It's no use.

133
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,726
Oh, come on, Serious
Homer, let me out!

134
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:34,208
We'll get a monkey drunk
and push him down the stairs!

135
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:38,371
I'll kill you the way
I killed Intellectual Homer!

136
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,205
While the boys are gone,

137
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,487
we'll sell all their
useless junk

138
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:51,609
and replace it with
knickknacks and curios!

139
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,331
I already made up
a yard sale sign.

140
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:58,849
You know your father saved every
book report he ever wrote?

141
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,241
And every one
was Stuart Little.

142
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:07,406
Not to mention this PowerPoint
demonstration he did just last week.

143
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,964
My Malibu Stacy heads!

144
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:19,201
Oh, no.

145
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,328
Bart blamed this
on the dog.

146
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,846
I didn't pet him
for weeks.

147
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:28,362
Oh, I'm sorry I doubted you, boy.

148
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,645
Come on, Dad.

149
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,926
We got a long way to go.

150
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,804
You can't stay mad
at me the whole time.

151
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,406
Boy, if you were half as
smart as you think you are,

152
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:40,686
you'd clean up your act.

153
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,331
Well, maybe pulling pranks
is the only thing I'm good at.

154
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,607
At least you have
something you're good at.

155
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,490
I'm 38 years old,
driving a crappy car,

156
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,449
with a son
who doesn't respect me!

157
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:54,241
And I'm one Snickers pie away
from losing my foot to diabetes!

158
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:58,040
Snickers pie...

159
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,006
So, I see you're also
traveling with your son.

160
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,809
What boy prison
are you taking him to?

161
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,929
Actually, Justin and I are going to
the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.

162
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,843
Sir Peter Hall himself
is directing.

163
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,924
See, Bart? I told you
things could be worse.

164
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,844
I'm getting a sweatshirt
with Shakespeare's face on it!

165
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,649
Well, we better get back
to the Prius, son.

166
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,366
Ah, don't forget the menu
for our scrapbook.

167
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,649
Did you see that? They were
eating melon for breakfast.

168
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:42,443
"Look at me.
I use a napkin."

169
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,204
Well, Dad, we may not
always get along,

170
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,362
but we'll never
be that lame.

171
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,482
I bet they're
from Massachusetts!

172
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:57,040
You know it's legal there
for a guy to marry his son?

173
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,803
Well, I guess
it's tinkle time.

174
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:06,569
Ooh, don't forget to wash
your hands, Shakespeare!

175
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:11,608
So, here for a snack before they
roll you back into the ocean?

176
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:15,401
Yeah. I'll have the smiley
face breakfast special.

177
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,608
Ah, but could you add
a bacon nose,

178
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,047
plus bacon hair,
bacon mustache,

179
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:23,164
five o'clock shadow made of
bacon bits, and a bacon body?

180
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,242
How about if I just shoved
a pig down your throat?

181
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,446
I'm kidding.

182
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:27,646
Fine!

183
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,722
But the bacon man
lives in a bacon house!

184
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,040
No, he doesn't.

185
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,642
You know who would really
like this place? Bart.

186
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,807
Wait a minute.
Where the hell is Bart?

187
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,323
You little monster!

188
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,048
Show your face
this minute! Mmm?

189
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,763
Bart, where are you?

190
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,922
Hey, Stavros, there's a guy in your
bathroom trying to dine and dash.

191
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,731
What? No one
dashie-dine on Stavros.

192
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,325
Why you little...

193
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,330
I'm stuck! Ow!

194
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:12,642
Someone's hitting my butt
with something!

195
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,085
Is frying pan!

196
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,726
Leave your ass, Homer.
Leave your ass.

197
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,806
Hmm, let me
get this straight.

198
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,042
I get all of
Bart's action figures,

199
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,242
Homer's treasured
"Mr. Plow" jacket,

200
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:30,924
and these Power
Rangers Underoos

201
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,163
which I am already
wearing for only $3.95.

202
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,241
That's right.

203
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,840
Give me five minutes alone with
your fridge and you have a deal.

204
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,922
Fine.

205
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,287
We've only brought in $5.

206
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:45,443
And that came from Mr. Flanders
buying back his own stuff.

207
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,000
My LP of Dreamcoat?

208
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,323
How I love
my coat of many colors.

209
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,961
It was red and yellow
And green and brown.

210
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,044
And scarlet and black
And ocher and peach.

211
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:01,522
And ruby and olive
and violet and...

212
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,004
...And lilac and gold
And chocolate and mauve.

213
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:09,050
And cream and crimson
And silver and rose.

214
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:13,324
And azure and lemon and
russet and gray and gold...

215
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,764
...And purple and white
And pink and orange.

216
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:21,208
And red and yellow
And green and brown.

217
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,851
Scarlet and black
And ocher and peach.

218
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,891
My yard sale
is a failure.

219
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,930
I guess I'll have to give
everything to the Salvation Army.

220
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,729
We don't want it!
Oh...

221
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,964
Mmm, Dexonumb,
Somnodoze, Percolax!

222
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,883
Are these for sale?
I guess.

223
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,531
They're Homer's expired
pain medications.

224
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,250
Ooh, I'm in a lot of pain.

225
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,011
I'm breaking in
a new pair of flip-flops

226
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:48,482
and my thong notch
is on fire! How much?

227
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,245
Um, a dollar?
Per pill, right?

228
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,606
Uh, yeah.

229
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,091
I'll take a dozen of each.

230
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:58,404
Oh, wow! Drugs in a bottle!
I feel like Elvis Presley!

231
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,969
Whoa, this is so much safer than buying
my illegal drugs at the playground.

232
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,122
Bag or keister?
Surprise me.

233
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,362
Um, I'll take
all your estrogen.

234
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,211
That's a female replacement hormone.

235
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:18,251
It's for a friend, uh, who's trapped
in the body of another friend.

236
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:23,008
So Lenny, how's it going in Vegas?
Pretty boring, I'll bet.

237
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,889
Yeah, kind of.

238
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:39,364
Can't talk now, Homer. I'm
too satisfied in every way.

239
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,761
I gotcha now, boy.

240
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,724
Oh, I'm gonna
fall down. Oh!

241
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,650
Boy! Push down
on the bumper!

242
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,564
Then I can back the car up
and save myself!

243
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,884
Hmm. If I save you, what
are you gonna do to me?

244
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,765
Shower you with love

245
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:24,641
because this experience has taught
me just how precious you are.

246
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,965
I'll kill you!
I'll kill your whole family!

247
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,804
Kidding.
I'm kidding.

248
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:33,123
We can do that.
We have a special friendship.

249
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,330
I'm gonna double kill you!

250
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,482
Then I'm gonna bury you
in a shallow grave!

251
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,364
Then I'll dig you up
and kill you again!

252
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,603
That's the beauty
of a shallow grave!

253
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,808
You sweet little angel.

254
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:48,646
Oh, I'm gonna rip your head off!
And spit down your

255
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,405
adorable little neck
because I want to

256
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,926
smash your little
stupid head!

257
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,641
Oh, but I love you.
We'll go on a fishing trip.

258
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,530
But first, I'm gonna
put you on a sawmill!

259
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,841
Then punch your
little face out!

260
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,331
That's what I'm gonna do!

261
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,888
I'm here for the yard sale.

262
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,325
But that was yesterday!

263
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,882
No. I mean the "yard sale."

264
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,405
What are you
talking about?

265
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,891
Can I buy some pills?

266
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:26,807
Well, maybe someone else can help
you but I am not a drug grocer!

267
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,886
I'm out of drugs! See
how much money I made?

268
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:39,361
Oh, Chief Wiggum. Uh, are you
still with the police department?

269
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,249
Save it, Ma Peddle.

270
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:43,720
Ma Peddle?

271
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:47,407
It's a reference to Ma Kettle, the
popular movie character from the '40s.

272
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,360
If you have to explain it,
it's not good, Chief.

273
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,084
Well, boy,
you made the right choice.

274
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,926
I think this is the first step to a
new closer relationship between us.

275
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,527
Dad, I think you actually enjoy
seeing your own son suffer.

276
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,244
I don't enjoy it.

277
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,084
Being a father
is just a job.

278
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,924
Long hours, no pay.

279
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,846
And at the end, all you get is someone
yelling, “You screwed me up."

280
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,844
Well, maybe if you enjoyed me more,
I wouldn't be so screwed up.

281
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,527
Hey, I enjoy you plenty.
Talking time is over.

282
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:22,760
Don't worry,
Mr. Simpson.

283
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,366
We're gonna take his sass
and turn it into siss.

284
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,204
Thank you, Colonel.
I'm not a colonel.

285
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,931
This is a Boy Scout uniform
that I dolled up.

286
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,240
Come with me, son.

287
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,362
Now kiss your
childhood goodbye.

288
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:58,169
Whoo-hoo!
Vegas, here I come!

289
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,483
I miss you, Dad.

290
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,246
Hey, Homer, you want
to eat my shorts?

291
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,127
Don't gamble on
my love, Homer.

292
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,884
Oh, I miss Bart. I can't leave
him in that awful camp.

293
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,363
I'm coming, boy!

294
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,801
Oh, oh, great.

295
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,765
I'll get off here. Oh, no.

296
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,442
I bet this looks cool
from overhead though.

297
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:47,884
Whoo-hoo! Vegas, here I come!
Oh, right. Bart.

298
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,243
Nicely chopped, Simpson.

299
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,891
I've learned so much
in my three hours here.

300
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,167
I don't have to play
pranks to feel good.

301
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:08,484
I can just listen to the
gentle rhythms of nature.

302
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,125
Stupid horse!

303
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,885
It's a "deer" crossing!

304
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,976
Wipe the blood off the windshield
and get in the car, boy.

305
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,001
Dad?
Son,

306
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:20,051
I'm doing something I should've
done a long time ago.

307
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,804
Taking you to Vegas!

308
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,360
I'm gonna order a steak dinner
and eat it on the toilet!

309
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,044
And don't you try
to stop us!

310
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,208
Actually, we were gonna call you, Mr.
Simpson.

311
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,725
Your credit card
was declined.

312
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,928
Try this one!

313
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,244
Homer,
I hope you get this.

314
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,449
I'm in jail and I need
$10,000 bail.

315
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,205
Hurry!

316
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,561
Ah, Marge, me
and Bart got in a fight

317
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,331
with this really
uncool pit boss,

318
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,084
and now we're in
Nevada State Prison.

319
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,605
Also, I don't know
where Bart is.

320
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,330
If you see him, say hey!

321
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,089
Well, Maggie,
I always knew it would

322
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,640
someday boil down
to just you and me.

323
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:06,166
I'll look for work in the
morning.