1
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The Simpsons

2
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ls there anything more fun
than a nice Sunday drive?

3
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,371
Oh, yeah,
it's great.

4
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:39,801
Why don't we top it off
by reading to old people?

5
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,405
Well, I think
in these days

6
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,568
of petro-terrorists
and ozone depletion,

7
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,120
a Sunday drive
reeks of bio-hubris.

8
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,290
Hey, hey! It's Krusty the Clown!

9
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,566
What do you say, Krusty?

10
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:51,766
What?

11
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,246
Can't I get
a cup of coffee

12
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,561
without doing a monkey
dance for you freaks?

13
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,405
The fishing hat
means leave me alone!

14
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,207
Always nice
to see him.

15
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,482
How did Dad get out
of this snooze cruise?

16
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:04,846
He's cleaning out
the garage.

17
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,450
I can picture it now.

18
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,687
I cleaned out the garage
and lost 50 pounds.

19
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,003
It seems a shame to chuck out
these cross-country skis.

20
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,161
I'll keep one.

21
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:28,726
Let's see, now.

22
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,446
"Kill spiders"?

23
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,250
We don't have spiders.

24
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:40,881
Stupid spider!

25
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,087
Afraid of dying?

26
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:58,801
What?

27
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,087
Spider poison
is people poison?

28
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:04,886
Bart!

29
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,530
Hmm. Where's the pain?

30
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,046
There it is!

31
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A spider?

32
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:37,445
Homie!

33
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,923
Time to open the
envelope I gave you.

34
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:49,561
Out of the way!

35
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,523
I learned CPR while
waiting for other kids

36
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:52,840
to finish
their math tests.

37
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,609
Compress his chest!
I'm on it.

38
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,450
Hey! What...

39
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,284
What happened?
Where am I?

40
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,722
Who put those
spiders in my mouth?

41
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,930
Oh, thank God!
He's alive!

42
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,045
You wouldn't believe
what happened to me!

43
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:19,296
I tried to do
what you told me to,

44
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:20,845
but I don't even
know what happened.

45
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:25,931
I don't even know
what happened.

46
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,445
Honey?
I'm trying to remember...

47
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,321
Near-fatal booboo
today really scared me.

48
00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,485
What would the kids and I do
if something happened to you?

49
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,166
Don't worry,

50
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,891
if I croak, you'll
marry Lenny or Moe.

51
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,056
The winner
will be determined

52
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,445
by a card game
I invented.

53
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,285
I got all the rules
written down up here.

54
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,408
You keep
almost dying.

55
00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,323
Just look at
our vacation photos.

56
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,962
Vacation
All I ever wanted.

57
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,888
Vacation
Had to get away.

58
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,321
Vacation
Meant to be spent alone.

59
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:04,484
Homie, if you die, I'm gonna
have three kids to take care of.

60
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,120
I want you to buy
some life insurance.

61
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:08,841
Please?

62
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,690
Sure. If it'll give
you peace of mind.

63
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,280
But I'm not gonna die
for many, many years.

64
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,721
I know. I just want to...

65
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,282
Mr. Simpson, before
we can insure you,

66
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,010
we need to ask
you some questions.

67
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,725
Have you ever had
a heart attack?

68
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:41,046
Haven't we all?

69
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,286
Strokes?
None.

70
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,725
No, wait,
three.

71
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,005
Since the last one,
I don't remember so good.

72
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,088
Are you a smoker?
Yes, I am.

73
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,049
You don't smoke!

74
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,964
I want her
to think I'm cool!

75
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,210
If I sign it,
it still counts!

76
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,124
My hemophilia!

77
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,368
Oh, uninsurable?

78
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:12,881
I'm not gonna worry

79
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,207
just because Homer
doesn't have insurance.

80
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,441
A lot of people don't.

81
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,242
Oh, Roger, I just love
our present lifestyle.

82
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,321
Don't thank me.

83
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,243
Thank our many
debts and obligations.

84
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,801
Honey!

85
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,081
Stop kidding around!

86
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:36,601
Honey?

87
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,566
Brenda, I'm afraid your
husband had no insurance.

88
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,365
Well, how will I
feed my family?

89
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:45,576
You should have
thought of that

90
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,682
before you had children
with a dead man.

91
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,921
Oh, this is only
based on a story.

92
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,648
A true story!

93
00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,487
Brenda! Where's your wealth?

94
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,648
Gone! Along with
my sanity!

95
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,646
But I'm still pretty,
right? Right?

96
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,851
Mmm. We need
to start saving.

97
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,565
Go easy on that!

98
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,563
It's got to last
till you're five.

99
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,007
Budget-Os'?

100
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,088
That's right.
It's much less expensive

101
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,168
than the leading
clown-based cereal.

102
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,969
You just have
to assemble it yourself.

103
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,960
We saved 50 cents
on that purchase.

104
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,124
Mom, why are you
so worried about money?

105
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:48,808
Oh, we're just saving
for a very rainy day.

106
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,723
You mean when the
big tuna goes belly-up?

107
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:54,286
Well, I just think we should
be building a nest egg.

108
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:55,481
Way ahead
of you, Marge.

109
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:58,120
I just ordered a series of
tapes on saving money.

110
00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,606
They should
get here soon.

111
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,330
I paid a bundle for
overnight delivery.

112
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,045
I have a book
from the library

113
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,122
with the same
information.

114
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,851
Okay, I'll just hire a haulage
firm to cart them away

115
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,570
at my expense!

116
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,681
Directory assistance?

117
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,524
No more
directory assistance!

118
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,601
It's not free.

119
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:15,920
Well, I'll get
a lawyer on that.

120
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,371
No, a whole team
of lawyers,

121
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,886
who will dine on mustard
flown in from the Orient.

122
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,048
No more
Oriental mustard!

123
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,848
It's so embarrassing. Mom is
making us wear clothes from Goodwill.

124
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,601
Ha-ha! People died
in those shirts.

125
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,443
Hey, hey, hey!
No outside suds!

126
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:49,646
I'm sorry, Moe.

127
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,882
Marge won't let me
spend any money,

128
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,565
even counterfeit money!

129
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,456
It's my money. I'm
the one who earns it.

130
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,882
Drinking beer out of a
thermos like an animal.

131
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,881
Can you help me unload
this soup from the car?

132
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,407
There was a sale,
so I bought 400 cans.

133
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,411
Marge, your penny-pinching
rampage has gone too far.

134
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,166
Oh, honey,
I know it's not easy,

135
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,248
but we've got
to put money away.

136
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,289
You can't enjoy money
when you're dead,

137
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,249
so why not
have fun now?

138
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,607
Don't you think
you've had enough "fun"?

139
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:25,402
Last year you spent
$5,000 on donuts,

140
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,842
$2,000 on
scalp massages,

141
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,048
$500 on
body glitter...

142
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,650
Hey, I earned
that money.

143
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,006
While you lounge
around here,

144
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,923
Doing laundry and
putting up drywall,

145
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,843
I'm at work
busting my hump.

146
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,565
Oh, please!

147
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,644
From what I hear,
you waltz in there at 10:30,

148
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,165
take a nap
on the toilet,

149
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,641
then sit around googling
your own name until lunch.

150
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:46,960
Who told you that?

151
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,248
You shouted it while
we were making love!

152
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:50,481
Now, look here,
mister.

153
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,847
I pay the bills,
I do the budget,

154
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:54,968
and I'm in charge
of the money.

155
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,885
Are you going to let her
push you around?

156
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,531
Yeah, show that skirt
who's boss, see?

157
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,489
Give us
our independence, Homer.

158
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,046
Yes, President Franklin.

159
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,327
I was never president.

160
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,727
I invented some kind of stove.

161
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,485
Well, I invented a Popsicle
made of Mountain Dew.

162
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:19,841
Sweet.

163
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,365
Yeah, yeah,
that's swell.

164
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,650
My scrimpings!

165
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:40,921
You banged?

166
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,970
Did you spend our
savings on a motor home?

167
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:48,324
No. I spent our savings on the
down payment for a motor home.

168
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,164
I need a castle
where I can be king!

169
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,761
VVell, I hope you
enjoy it, Your Majesty,

170
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,002
'cause I'm not
speaking to you.

171
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:05,761
Damn it!

172
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,129
Kids, your mother
and I have decided

173
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,964
to take a little break
from each other.

174
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,645
While we deal
with our issues,

175
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,451
I plan to go on
Motor Home Makeover

176
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,522
and trick this thing
out like a palace,

177
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,450
not like that dump
you live in.

178
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:24,126
All I need is for someone
to start a show called.

179
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,406
Motor Home Makeover!

180
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:28,006
I see. You were mad enough
to leave our house,

181
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,242
but not mad enough
to leave our property.

182
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,771
That's my
half-assed dad.

183
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,689
Hey, I couldn't leave
you kids.

184
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,165
You're like
my own family.

185
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,044
Now check
this place out.

186
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,171
Neat! When I sleep
at Dad's, I call this bed.

187
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,890
You can have it.
This one's way better.

188
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,121
That's a bread compartment.

189
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,321
You're a bread
compartment!

190
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,209
Kids! Come back
in the house!

191
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,806
Oh, do we have to?

192
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,167
I melted string cheese
over some corn chips.

193
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,446
Oh, boy!

194
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,204
I've got Gameboys
and caramel apples!

195
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,084
I'll let you
sass me!

196
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,286
I'll let you
punch me!

197
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,840
You can wear swimsuits
instead of underwear!

198
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,570
We'll have
Christmas tomorrow!

199
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,085
Yeah!

200
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,484
Welcome to the jungle.

201
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,723
We've got fun and games.

202
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:10,848
We got everything
you want, honey.

203
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,001
We know the names.

204
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,560
We are the people that can
find whatever you may need.

205
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:19,847
Whoo-hoo!

206
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:20,921
Free gas!

207
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,970
Well, it's a pleasure to meet
another sultan of the slow lane.

208
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,610
That's my rig
over there.

209
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,849
She's a Roam Away
Silver Coach.

210
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,765
34 feet of
walnut-burled freedom.

211
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,644
Boy, I wouldn't mind
driving that

212
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,848
to the Holland,
Michigan Tulip Festival.

213
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,168
I'm looking for a
place to dock the beast.

214
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,406
I don't mean you, Martha.

215
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,608
I've never loved you either.

216
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,447
We use jokes to mask our
pain at the death of our son.

217
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,201
Really.

218
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,090
Hmm. A place to dock?
I got room.

219
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,846
I have a backyard that makes
my front yard look like an idiot.

220
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,929
Can I bring the rest
of the convoy?

221
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,000
Are you crazy?

222
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,526
Let 12 complete strangers
live on my lawn?

223
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,762
Well, we'll give you
regional beers.

224
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,444
It's a deal! Whoo-hoo!

225
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,925
And there you have it.

226
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,410
Welcome, welcome.

227
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,801
If my wife asks, you're here
for a Boz Scaggs concert.

228
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,281
Homer!

229
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,323
What are all these
recreational vehicles doing here?

230
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,482
These are my new friends.

231
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,529
They like me for me

232
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,842
and my plumbing
and gas hookups.

233
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,201
Young lady, I like
what you're driving.

234
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,966
Is that one of them
two-level Wander-Kings?

235
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,849
This is a house!

236
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,571
Hey, boys, let's play her
the RV national anthem.

237
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,570
Daddy, all the fumes
are making me dizzy.

238
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,411
Well, now, Rodney, the Lord
wouldn't let us die this way.

239
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:54,567
That's right, Ned.

240
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,250
Now, you three
take a little nap

241
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:57,731
while I make
some hot chocolate.

242
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,371
Yay!

243
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,802
I've been everywhere, man

244
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,689
I've been everywhere.

245
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,081
Travel, I've done
my share, man

246
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,969
I've been everywhere

247
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,936
I've been to Springfield,
Shelbyville, Ogdenville.

248
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,088
Cap City, Ogdenberg,
Shelbytown, Spring City.

249
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,924
Capfield, West Springfield,
Paris, Rome.

250
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,286
And Shelbyville adjacent...

251
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,641
Sing it, baby!
That's a lot of places.

252
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,210
Whoo-ee!
Oh, yeah!

253
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,044
I know another
place you can go!

254
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,327
To sleep.

255
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:28,928
Sorry, Marge. We've got the
power now, and you can't turn us off!

256
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,607
Can't turn off the power, eh?

257
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,324
Sashay this
and fancy that.

258
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,765
Watch the dog
dance with the cat.

259
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,762
Lights out, weirdos!

260
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,844
I was making a Monte Cristo
sandwich when my crisper cut out.

261
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,686
It's not golden brown, it's
not brown, it's not nothing.

262
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,841
Dang!

263
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,842
You don't belong
on the lawn.

264
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,207
You belong in your
bed with your wife.

265
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,725
That's no marriage bed.

266
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,485
It's a loveless slab
of bossiness!

267
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,041
Well,
you're not perfect either!

268
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,963
Name one way I'm not.

269
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,725
You hide food in my hair.

270
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,247
You think brushing
your teeth is foreplay...

271
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,805
I'll have you know I could
have married Sideshow Mel!

272
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,331
Boy, they're really
going at it.

273
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,936
Do you think they're
gonna get divorced?

274
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,964
No. I don't see Dad
doing all that paperwork.

275
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,846
What? I seem to recall
you asked me to get this fat!

276
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:45,967
Oh, boy.

277
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,805
Let's get out of here before Dad
does a bad impression of Mom.

278
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,486
Ooh! I'm Marge Simpson.

279
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,206
Don't eat
off the floor. Ooh!

280
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,409
I am so sick of that story

281
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,006
about finding an onion ring
in your French fries.

282
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,721
It was 20 years ago.

283
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,167
That was my Woodstock!

284
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,010
You know what
started all this trouble?

285
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:08,326
This motor home.

286
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,925
How can a vehicle this cool

287
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,570
destroy a marriage
that crappy?

288
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,889
Hey, I know this is a
crazy idea, but hear me out.

289
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,405
What if We...

290
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:17,680
Take this back
to the dealer?

291
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,723
Well, I was gonna say,
"Call Reverend Lovejoy,"

292
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,046
but I guess
this could work.

293
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,770
Oh, yeah, Marge?

294
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,322
What about my womanly needs?

295
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,364
Slowly, slowly.

296
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,411
The RV dealer is across
town under that gorilla blimp.

297
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,451
How do you know
that's their blimp?

298
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,090
Duh! It's Kamper Kong.

299
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,416
Bob, word on the street
is there's two kids

300
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,885
trying to return an RV.

301
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,731
Return an RV?

302
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,041
Tie me to the Kong
and cut its tethers.

303
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,688
You don't take
anything seriously.

304
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,762
Not even your
bankruptcy hearing!

305
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,763
Hey, that judge
thought I rocked.

306
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:04,921
Case closed!

307
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,240
Although my case
is still open.

308
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,569
If you need me,
I'll be in my trailer!

309
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,490
My RV is gone!

310
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,648
It was more than a motor home.

311
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:20,122
It was a car I could
go to the bathroom in.

312
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,890
Hey, a note.

313
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:25,446
"Dear Mom and Dad,

314
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,246
"we don't want
you guys to split up,

315
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,005
"so we're driving the RV
back to the dealer."

316
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,526
We've got
to stop them.

317
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,530
Oh! This is a parent's
worst nightmare!

318
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,571
They've stolen a car
and they're home alone.

319
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,522
Let's see,
the RV dealership is.

320
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,688
Across the freeway
on the corner of...

321
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,969
Hey! This is
a Flintstones Fun Map.

322
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,849
Look, Dad wrote something.

323
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,968
"'Dino.' Short for dinosaur?

324
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,288
"Remember to ask Jeeves."

325
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:02,487
We're on the freeway!

326
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,045
Would you look at
those Simpson kids?

327
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:09,724
Last year
it was Razor scooters,

328
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,888
this year
they're driving RVs.

329
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,680
When I was a kid,
my mom would give me

330
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:14,921
an empty egg carton

331
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,287
and I'd pretend it was
a spaceship to the moon.

332
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,047
You'll never guess what
I used for astronauts.

333
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,009
I'm going to say eggs.

334
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:23,801
Shut up.

335
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,889
Oh, my God,
there they are!

336
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,525
I've lost them!

337
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,206
I can't see past all the SUVs!

338
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,765
Don't worry about the SUVs.

339
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,968
There's a gentle
curve up ahead.

340
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,490
Bart! Pull over!

341
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,961
We'll stop fighting,
we promise!

342
00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,201
Prove it!

343
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:00,481
Yeah, kiss and make up!

344
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,090
We're not
quite there yet,

345
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,924
but we've opened up
a dialogue!

346
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,082
Not good enough! Kiss!

347
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,685
French it up,
lover boyl

348
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,604
I'm not a machine.
I can't just turn it on!

349
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,011
Oh! Come here.

350
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,364
Now pull over!

351
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:20,726
First, raise
my allowance.

352
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,803
Why, you little...

353
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:30,526
We're going downhill
and I can't reach the brakes!

354
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,967
Look! "Runaway Truck Lane!"

355
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,451
We're saved!

356
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,409
Oh, rats.

357
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,325
Oh! Thank God
for that Turkish freighter.

358
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,404
Now we'll just
go get them and...

359
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,404
My kids are on
your boat. Turn back!

360
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:08,960
I see no kids.

361
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,644
And we must get
these Season One.

362
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,405
Northern Exposure DVDs
to Kahramanmaras.

363
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,001
Help us!

364
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,209
Bring back our children,
you Cyprus-splitting jerks!

365
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,922
Just for that,
we keep your children.

366
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,207
Will you raise them Christian?

367
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,930
Coptic Christian.

368
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,686
No!

369
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,401
Captain, wait! I have something
here that might change your mind!

370
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,445
What are you showing me? Soup?

371
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,286
300 cans of Budget
Club mushroom soup!

372
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,687
If you have some
noodles and tuna fish,

373
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:49,448
you can make a casserole that's
small on price, but big on flavor.

374
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,365
You are a wise woman.

375
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,011
It is a shame you dress
like a Lebanese prostitute.

376
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,446
Return to the docks!

377
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,122
Well, if he thinks he's
getting a corner piece, forget it.

378
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:11,005
Wow, Marge, once again, your
mom-ly wisdom averted disaster.

379
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,403
And I promise I will return this
RV first thing in the morning.

380
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,566
Easy... Easy...

381
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:21,571
Easy... Easy...

382
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,922
Water damage? Can't
be returned. I win again!

383
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,126
Aw, hey.
It's only money.

384
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,328
And it did make
a cool splash.

385
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,851
Marge, you're
taking this pretty well.

386
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:46,840
Dude, she seemed tense, so
we put a little hashish in her meal.

387
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,486
Cool.

388
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:53,043
Which came first, turkey the
bird or Turkey the you guys?

389
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,406
If you don't want
to say it, just think it.

390
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,644
Istanbul was Constantinople.

391
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,768
Now it's Istanbul
not Constantinople.

392
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,649
Been a long time gone
Constantinople.

393
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,200
Now it's Turkish delight
on a moonlit night.

394
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,286
Istanbul.

395
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,603
I've been everywhere, man

396
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,768
I've been everywhere, man.

397
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,729
Crossed the deserts bare, man

398
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,928
I've breathed
the mountain air, man.

399
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,207
Of travel I've had
my share, man

400
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,044
I've been everywhere.

401
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,481
I've been to Reno,
Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota.

402
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,608
Buffalo, Toronto,
Winslow, Sarasota.

403
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,887
Wichita, Tulsa,
Ottawa, Oklahoma.

404
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,008
Tampa, Panama,
Mattawa, La Paloma.

405
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,128
Bangor, Baltimore,
Salvador, Amarillo.

406
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,248
Tocaplllo, Barranquilla,
and Perdilla, I'm a killer

407
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:42,530
I've been everywhere, man.

408
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,489
Crossed the deserts bare, man

409
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,608
I've breathed
the mountain air, man.

410
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,967
Of travel I've had
my share, man

411
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,849
I've been everywhere