1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:06,089
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,280
Oh, boy!
Casino night!

3
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:35,576
Finally, they'll teach our kids the
dangers of doubling down on a six.

4
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:39,372
I really shouldn't be here. I have
a problem with games of chance.

5
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:43,459
I played Candy Land with Maggie
and ended up throwing vodka in her face.

6
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,713
Aw, Marge. I bet you've
gotten that out of your system.

7
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,133
Bet? System?
Betting system?

8
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,593
God is telling me
to gamble!

9
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,179
Hey! Hey! Hey!

10
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,475
Deal. Hit me, hit
me, hit me. Busted.

11
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:05,565
Welcome to Springfield
Elementary Casino Night.

12
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:09,068
My fee for this evening goes to
victims of my criminal recidivism.

13
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:12,613
So relax, have fun and
please God don't piss me off.

14
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:16,159
Congratulations,
Mr. Student Body President.

15
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,827
Your Casino Night
is a huge success.

16
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:19,370
Thanks,
Principal Skinner.

17
00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:22,165
I got the idea from an
episode of Saved by the Bell.

18
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,792
It was always on
too late for me.

19
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:27,628
I'll put everything
on lucky 17.

20
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,009
Woo-hoo!
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh...

21
00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:36,345
Woo-hoo!
D'oh! D'oh...

22
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:46,731
Woo-hoo!

23
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,066
And the winner
is 17!

24
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,359
I win!

25
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,488
This is it, baby.
First thing tomorrow,

26
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,782
we're getting
a PlayStation One.

27
00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,702
I'd like to cash
in these chips.

28
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:04,373
Give me most of it in cash and the
rest in suitcases to carry the cash.

29
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,793
Sir, this casino
is for charity.

30
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,712
These chips are only
redeemable in cafeteria scrip

31
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,298
or a day at the ballpark
with Groundskeeper Willie.

32
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:17,303
I'll be bringin' sparkplugs to
chuck at people I don't like, like you!

33
00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:20,223
But I'm up $200,000.

34
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,558
Give me my money!

35
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:25,061
Think I won't
manhandle a little boy?

36
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,356
You don't understand.
It's not real money.

37
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,858
None of these people
have won any money.

38
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,485
What?

39
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,904
Didn't anyone
read the flyer?

40
00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,281
It was sent home
last Tuesday.

41
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,663
Look at me!
I'm a big man!

42
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,334
But I break just
like a little girl.

43
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,507
Well, this was
a disaster.

44
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:58,719
I should've known. The same
thing happened on Saved by the Bell.

45
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,763
Care for a milk?
No, thank you.

46
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,890
Martin, in light
of this fiasco,

47
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,351
you're going to have
to resign as president.

48
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,104
I'll have that milk now.

49
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,357
Easy there.
That's whole milk.

50
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:15,111
I'm a private citizen now!
I can drink what I like!

51
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:19,031
You won't have Martin Prince
to kick around anymore!

52
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:27,331
Well, I guess we're gonna need
a new student body president.

53
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,542
We're from Acme
Amusement Rental.

54
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,669
We're looking for
Principal Skinner.

55
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:36,132
Uh. Yes, we all are.
Whoo!

56
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,722
Hey, student body
president!

57
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:48,728
Ah! I can join past presidents
like Otto, or Krusty...

58
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,732
Nelson, you're running
for president?

59
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:55,192
I'm not saying I
have all the answers,

60
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:58,988
but I do have all the
answer keys to every test.

61
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:05,161
Fractions, dinosaurs, foreign
money, the first Thanksgiving.

62
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,038
Nelson, what
are you doing?

63
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,831
Real estate
license exam.

64
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,750
My ticket to freedom!

65
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:13,085
Nelson! Nelson!

66
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,295
I'm doomed.

67
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,006
I can't beat Nelson.

68
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:23,054
Why don't you start a rumor
that he's ding-a-ling-a-ling, hello!

69
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:28,100
What a delicious quiche!
I drive a pink Miata!

70
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,645
I can't believe Nelson
is more popular than me.

71
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:36,692
Honey, you could be popular.
You've just gotta be yourself

72
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,361
in a whole new way!

73
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,446
No. I'm gonna
stick to my platform

74
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,032
of incremental
policy amelioration.

75
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,577
Fluoridated water fountains,
vegan lunch options.

76
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:49,789
My name is Nelson.
I use a salad fork.

77
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,832
La-dee-dah!
I wash my face!

78
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,793
Where did you
get that tutu?

79
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:54,919
Clothesline.

80
00:04:57,589 --> 00:05:01,759
And we deserve a French
teacher who actually speaks French!

81
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,639
What is she
yakkin' about?

82
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,474
I rest my case.

83
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,062
Nelson, rebuttal?

84
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,190
Yo, everyone,
it's me, Nelson!

85
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:22,196
Nelson! Nelson!
Nelson! Nelson!

86
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:27,618
I'm not that cool
I don't wear jeans.

87
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:32,581
I've polished
an apple or two.

88
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:39,088
But every grade that I
grubbed I grubbed it for you.

89
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:44,510
So call me Bookworm.

90
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:50,099
But I'II never squirm
when there's work to be done.

91
00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:55,187
Yes, I'll take
my lunch at my desk.

92
00:05:55,689 --> 00:06:01,444
While you're all
outside having fun.

93
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:09,660
Don't vote for me
kids of Springfield.

94
00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:14,707
Unless you want
an effective leader

95
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:19,712
I'll talk to teachers
I'll handle Skinner.

96
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:25,384
A vote for Lisa
makes you the winner.

97
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:29,889
Vote Lisa!
Vote Lisa! Vote Lisa!

98
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,934
Hey, I've got
a song, too.

99
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:37,229
I am Iron Man!

100
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,483
Vote for me!

101
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,567
Ah, screw it.

102
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:51,202
Lisa. Lisa. Lisa.

103
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:54,663
Wow, she even beat perennial
write-in candidate "Skinner Sucks."

104
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,124
Skinner!
I'm worried.

105
00:06:57,209 --> 00:07:00,461
This girl is extremely
popular and thinks for herself.

106
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,172
She's like a female
Eleanor Roosevelt.

107
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,633
Yeah. The students
will do anything she says.

108
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,386
She's captured their imagination like
a bright piece of construction paper.

109
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,389
Yes. Well, we've got to
find a way to control her.

110
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:16,602
Hey, maybe that escaped
mental patient you've hired

111
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,729
has some sort of
toxin in his shack.

112
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,439
Yes. Hello, Willie.

113
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:24,777
Well, if you ask me, a woman's
weakness is her sense of vanity.

114
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:28,280
Vanity? You might have
something there, Edna.

115
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,991
So when's my
inauguration?

116
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:35,746
Hmm. Let's see. When
hell freezes over, tough guy.

117
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,625
You wanted to see me?

118
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,545
Actually, Lisa,
I wanted you to see you.

119
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,046
You're our president now.

120
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,508
But you look like
the First Lady of Yawn.

121
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:48,884
What would you change?

122
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:56,100
Eyes, pearls, smile hair points,
dress, voice shoes, Swatch watch.

123
00:07:57,102 --> 00:08:01,522
I may be the new girl
But you can't brainwash me.

124
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:05,818
Just OshKosh B'Gosh me
And then leave me be.

125
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:12,241
To fight for kid power
I must be heard not seen

126
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:16,036
I have to lead wisely
Not just primp and preen.

127
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,164
Nails, dimples
ears, scrunchie.

128
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:21,083
Purse, lunchbox
teeth, Milhouse.

129
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,336
This cuting up suits me.

130
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,505
There's beauty within me.

131
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,465
So let's Olsen twin me.

132
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,718
Give them someone to love.

133
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,970
This grownup makeover.

134
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:37,183
Has made me a super tween.

135
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:43,189
For they are my people
and I am their queen.

136
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:48,027
Oh, Lisa.
You look so successful.

137
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,279
Like you're the wife
of a businessman.

138
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,073
I wish I'd married
a businessman.

139
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,451
Then I'd have
nice things.

140
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,578
Well, it's a little
over the top.

141
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,788
But there's no reason
I can't look good

142
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,458
and take back the
playground from the gypsies.

143
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,795
Is our Frisbee now.

144
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:11,008
Hey, Lisa! Can I get a
photo for the front page?

145
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:14,970
It'll either be a picture of you or the
drinking fountain that won't stop running.

146
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,472
Make it snappy,
Milhouse.

147
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,891
I've got an important meeting
in the Teachers' Lounge.

148
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:24,563
The Teachers' Lounge. Ls it true
they make fun of students in there?

149
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,440
Oh, don't be silly.

150
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,817
Look at me.
I'm Milhouse.

151
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,153
I tuck my shirt
into me underpants.

152
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:36,242
I've got no friends.
So I confide in Willie.

153
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,914
Oh, that's good...

154
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:47,211
Oh, hello, Lisa. We were just
discussing Vasco da Gama.

155
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:52,091
Well, I have some ideas for ways we
can improve the classroom experience.

156
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,343
We need to get
teachers more involved.

157
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:57,596
Have them meet with struggling
kids in the morning before school.

158
00:09:57,681 --> 00:10:00,015
Fine. I'll come in early
to meet with students.

159
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,851
And I'll have
hypnotherapy when?

160
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,688
Or we could hand out
teachers' home phone numbers

161
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,565
so kids can call them
whenever they have questions.

162
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,985
I've got a question.
You're crazy.

163
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,861
Look, in the Swedish
public schools,

164
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,614
the students grade the
teachers on their performance.

165
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:18,367
Outstanding notions. Each
more implementable than the last.

166
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,578
It's a shame you can't stay to discuss
them. Here's your schedule for the day.

167
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,249
"Photo op helping kindergartners
take off snow boots."

168
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,543
"Move the brush
fire hazard needle"?

169
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,879
Shouldn't I stay here
and work on school policy?

170
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,549
Lisa, you were elected
to be seen and enjoyed.

171
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:38,304
Don't hide your light in a smoky
back room making dusty old decisions.

172
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,849
Well, I am proud
of my light.

173
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:44,560
But just in case you want
to do any more thinking,

174
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,563
I'm proud to present you with
an official key to the study hall.

175
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,898
Use it anytime you like.

176
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,943
You mean I can come to
the school after hours?

177
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,154
Weekends?
Even during the summer?

178
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:58,574
Yes. It's like you're Harry Potter
without the magic and wonder.

179
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:01,702
Just sign these authorization
forms and you can be on your way.

180
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,460
That little girl should learn to
read things before she signs them.

181
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:13,005
Excuse me. I was wondering
if I should read what I just signed.

182
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,674
No. Just standard key
release boilerplate.

183
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:16,759
Okay.

184
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,261
Boy, she'll
believe anything.

185
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,056
"Key release boilerplate"? I
find that very hard to believe.

186
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,016
And yet there it is.

187
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,643
I'll just
lock this door.

188
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,147
Boy, this key
opens everything.

189
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:34,526
And then as school president, I
don't have to take the hearing test.

190
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,320
I'm so proud
of you, Lisa.

191
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,404
What?

192
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:42,284
You're like Geraldine Ferraro. Except
you won where she failed miserably.

193
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:45,371
Well, I think I can
say with all humility,

194
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:48,707
I am gonna be the best
school president ever!

195
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,170
Bravo, Lisa. Bravo.

196
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:57,216
Oh, isn't that sweet? Even
your brother's adding his kudos.

197
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,051
I was being sarcastic.

198
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:00,135
You were?

199
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,721
No, I was being sincere.

200
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,556
Oh, I'm so confused.

201
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:08,852
Lise, Skinner is using you like
a pawn on his unholy chess set.

202
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,980
On my chess set, the
pawns are all Hamburglars.

203
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,485
I'm so happy
with my evil plan.

204
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:19,655
Say goodbye to
music gym and art.

205
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:23,992
Soon we will have
the perfect school.

206
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,829
Where fun and
excitement never start.

207
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:31,083
I'm so drunk
I can barely see.

208
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:34,878
But it helps me
get through another day.

209
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:38,674
My stomach is filled
with haggis and hurt

210
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:42,136
I've got to go
puke in some hay.

211
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,388
Lisa is a fool

212
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,223
I think the rules are cool

213
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,517
I've fallen in the pool.

214
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,106
Not a cloud
in the sky.

215
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,733
A perfect day to unveil
Operation S. L.A.A.A.M.

216
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:59,736
So Long Athletics, Art,
and Music. Care for a t-shirt?

217
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:00,821
T-shirt?

218
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:04,283
Why don't you just give me a sandwich
board that says "male prostitute"?

219
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:06,702
Forgive me, sir.

220
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:12,958
They've taken everything.
Oh, no.

221
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:18,422
Look what they've
done to my triangle.

222
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:24,011
I'm doing it!
I'm almost to the top!

223
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:27,431
Hello, self-esteem!

224
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:28,724
Repo man!

225
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,479
I love this job.

226
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:37,649
"All extra-curricular
activities are hereby canceled,

227
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,068
"to be replaced
by nothing!"

228
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,822
Who would sign
such an order?

229
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:46,366
"As ordered by
Principal Skinner

230
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:49,828
"and approved by Student Body
President Lisa Simpson!"

231
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,541
And to think I was gonna
ask you to the dance!

232
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,001
I would've gone
with you.

233
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,961
Well, you still can!

234
00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,755
Well, I don't
feel like it now.

235
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:04,551
Oh! That's cool.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.

236
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:08,847
Look, they're taking
away the art room!

237
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:14,269
I'll be cooking my Lean
Cuisine in your kiln tonight!

238
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,443
What have I done?

239
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,237
What they wanted you to.

240
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:26,031
Skinner betrayed me.

241
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,741
But a tango
takes two

242
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,494
I almost had a date.

243
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,913
I've gotta tell
Willie about this.

244
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:41,672
Lisa is a sellout.
Lisa is a sellout.

245
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,757
Lisa, what's
a sellout?

246
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:47,302
With the band gone, how
will I know who to beat up?

247
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,764
They eliminated
English for Fat Kids!

248
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,307
Okay, you'll do!

249
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,936
Lise, you made this
school even worse.

250
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,897
And it wasn't exactly San
Diego State to begin with.

251
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,359
They made me
pretty and popular

252
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:05,445
just so they could exploit
me and ruin my good name.

253
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,240
Lisa, you've got to
stand up to these guys.

254
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,951
And when you do,
people will remember you.

255
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,078
Just look at these
postage stamps.

256
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:16,498
There's Bugs Bunny, Fat
Elvis, Autumn in New England,

257
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,543
Bats of the Southwest,
all heroes.

258
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,336
Do you want to see
Elvis kiss a bat?

259
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,797
Hey, baby, come here.
I want to kiss you.

260
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,173
Squeak, squeak!

261
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,508
No, don't kiss me.

262
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:31,179
You tricked me into
betraying my fellow students!

263
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,890
Lisa, student government
is meaningless.

264
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:37,269
Look at your constitution. It's
written on the back of a place mat.

265
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:41,148
And not a good place mat. It's
from someplace called "Doodles."

266
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,232
I see.

267
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,485
Principal Skinner, may I make
an announcement to the school?

268
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,404
I can't see the harm.

269
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,407
I hereby resign
as your president.

270
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:55,495
And for my last act I call a general
student strike effective immediately!

271
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,580
Gimme that!

272
00:15:56,664 --> 00:16:00,542
Any student caught striking will be severely
disciplined unless all of you do it.

273
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:01,627
Then I'm stymied.

274
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,629
Strike!
Strike! Strike!

275
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:07,049
Lisa, please help me lure
them back. I had to do what I did.

276
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,801
Our budget is stretched tighter
than Mother's sauna pants.

277
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,638
Seymour! Quit using
me in analogies.

278
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:13,722
Yes, Mother.

279
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:18,352
Principal Skinner, I will not call off this
strike until you bring back music and art!

280
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,728
What about gym?
Meh.

281
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:24,232
Hey, hey, Seymour S.
Nurture our well-roundedness!

282
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:26,318
Sneeze, puke, burp, fart,

283
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,362
we want music, gym, and art!

284
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,907
Why didn't I cancel Sign
Making and Creative Chanting?

285
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:35,619
Principal Skinner, can't you
just reinstate those programs?

286
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:39,414
Would you be willing to pay an
extra $1 .23 in taxes to fund them?

287
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,292
No way! I'm saving
for a speedboat.

288
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,752
Strike! Strike!

289
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,545
Lisa, what are you doing?

290
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,465
This is the kind of trouble-making
I expect from your brother.

291
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:51,551
You do? Cool. A blank
check for mayhem.

292
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:59,226
Mom, I was elected
to make this a better school.

293
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:03,063
Well, couldn't you just hang some
colorful crepe paper in the gym?

294
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,232
They've taken away
our crepe paper.

295
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,025
Those Fudruckers!

296
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,362
Oh, no.
They heard me.

297
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,531
Remember, boys.
These are little kids.

298
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,741
So take out
your tiny batons.

299
00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:20,247
Chief Wiggum, we're
just like you policemen.

300
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,375
Don't you ever feel like the
mayor doesn't care about you?

301
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,962
You mean, the mayor who kept me
waiting for two hours in that restaurant?

302
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:29,131
I ate so much bread...

303
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:32,008
Sit down, boys! We're
joining this strike!

304
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:35,762
Chief, are you sure the mayor wasn't
at a different Olive Garden than you?

305
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:40,183
Well, I can't take that rattlesnake
out of his mailbox now, now can I?

306
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:41,351
Yes, Chief,
you could.

307
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,186
Well, let me ask
you this. Shut up.

308
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:47,232
The Springfield student strike has entered
its fourth day with no end in sight.

309
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:51,069
Today professional buttinski
Michael Moore arrived on the scene.

310
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,447
Kids who don't get
to take music and art

311
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:56,408
are 10% more likely to
become chronically unemployed

312
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,692
and appear in one
of my movies.

313
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,745
Where did you get that
statistic? Your mother!

314
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,122
The student strikers have
been joined by other unions

315
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,416
including the
Springfield Goat Milkers,

316
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:07,252
the Association of News
Room Cue Card Holders...

317
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:11,047
And the United Federation
of Theme Park Zombies.

318
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:18,054
Zombie eat brains but zombie
cannot swallow this injustice.

319
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:21,850
At the heart of the strike is former
student body president, Lisa Simpson.

320
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,019
Her brother
had this to say.

321
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:26,730
Lisa is a nut.
She has a rubber butt.

322
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,566
Every time she turns around,
it goes putt putt.

323
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:33,779
Indeed. But that rubber butt doesn't have
much time for turning around these days.

324
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,531
It's pointed squarely in the
face of the administration.

325
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:41,495
Skinner! We have got to
get these kids back in school!

326
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,663
Willie, can't you
turn your hose on them?

327
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:47,501
They are wee children.
I'd sooner turn it on myself.

328
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,377
Well, that's a
good idea, too.

329
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,547
Now see here, you
nose-wiping hair-combers!

330
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:56,051
Back in Edinburgh, we
had a coal miner's strike.

331
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,471
All we wanted were hats
with a wee light on top.

332
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,973
Then one day
the mine collapsed.

333
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:06,603
No one made it out alive.
Not even Willie!

334
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:13,068
Skinner! I don't mean to interrupt
your advice from the janitor,

335
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:16,822
but I say cut off the head
and the body will die.

336
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:19,658
You want to get rid of Lisa?
But she's such a good student.

337
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:24,412
Yes. Ln fact, I think she's a
little too good for this school.

338
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:27,290
If we stand together,
we are strong!

339
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,169
Lisa Simpson, you have
just been transferred

340
00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:34,089
to the Springfield Magnet School
for the Gifted and Troublesome.

341
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,299
Please climb
into the idling bus.

342
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,844
But, but I...

343
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,724
Poor Lisa
Poor Lisa.

344
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:51,231
Don't cry for me
kids of Springfield.

345
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:56,194
You can still reach me
through e-mail

346
00:19:56,279 --> 00:20:00,949
at Smart Girl 63
underscore back slash

347
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:06,913
at Yahoo dot com,
at Yahoo dot com.

348
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:19,801
Oh, this place
is paradise!

349
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:23,597
Well, I guess this story
has a happy ending after all.

350
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,641
Just like my last massage.

351
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,688
I'm not driving
45 minutes a day!

352
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,064
You can't go
to that school!

353
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,983
But this is my dream.

354
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,068
Oh, why can't you
have a normal dream

355
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,070
like being an Olympic
figure skater?

356
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,239
Okay. Let me
take figure skating.

357
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:44,576
Are you crazy? I'm not
getting up at 6:30 every morning

358
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:47,662
so you can prance around a frozen
pond and think you're better than me.

359
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,164
Well,
what can I be?

360
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,726
I don't know. How
about a horse whisperer?

361
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,750
Okay!

362
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,501
Over my dead body!

363
00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:58,733
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