1
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,036
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:06,673
Three Gays of the Condo.

3
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:30,093
I wonder what Mom came up with
for this week's Family Wednesday.

4
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,075
I hope it's as fun as Pictionary was
last week.

5
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,985
We weren't playing Pictionary. That was
an intervention to stop your drinking.

6
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:39,967
What? Are you sure?

7
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,847
Oh, that takes me back.

8
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:52,104
- Here it is. This week's family activity.
- Oh, a jigsaw puzzle.

9
00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:56,901
"Concert in Golden Gate Park.
Ages 8 to 80."

10
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,174
We know when we're not wanted.

11
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,191
The box says it's a perfect way
to spend the day.

12
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:07,609
And why would a box lie to a person?

13
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,089
The first step is the funnest,
turning all the pieces face up.

14
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:21,634
Go crazy, dorks.
I got better things to do.

15
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,366
Hey, Bart, I fixed my rock tumbler.

16
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:27,546
What do you say we turn this baby loose
on some feldspar?

17
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,904
- I'm in.
- Oh, I hate this.

18
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,584
It's making me use my arms.

19
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,098
Hey, these two pieces are already
connected. We're halfway there.

20
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,793
Does anyone have any swan heads?
I've got nothing but necks.

21
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,661
Can't help you. All I got is gray.

22
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:52,123
- Anybody working on a cement wall?
- Turn it over, Homer.

23
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:57,878
Oh, right, ha, ha.
Chinese guy. Chinese guy. Frisbee dog.

24
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:03,113
Ooh, look how late it is.
Let's get you kids some coffee.

25
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,251
Homer, no scissors.

26
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,097
It's how the pros do it.

27
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:15,938
Sky, sky, sky with building...

28
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,857
...grass, grass with foot...

29
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,662
Bart's so poor,
he has to eat cardboard.

30
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,196
- What are you eating?
- Drywall.

31
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:34,039
Hey, kids. Uh, we're worried about your
dad. He ain't been to work for a week.

32
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,605
What's he doing now?
Is he a rodeo clown?

33
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,566
- Is he Poochie again?
- He's working on a jigsaw puzzle.

34
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,934
Oh, I guess he's done
with all the fun stuff.

35
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:44,789
Now let's see.

36
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,814
This is either an old coconut
or Tom Hayden.

37
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,951
Gee, Homer, that's super.

38
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,568
But, uh, have you thought
about coming back to work?

39
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,961
Hey, Homer,
what's with the deranged look?

40
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,863
Ow! My eye.
I'm not supposed to get jigs in it.

41
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:11,358
I can't believe our family
finished a project this complicated.

42
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,654
It's the only worthwhile thing
I ever made that wasn't Lisa.

43
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,001
Prove me wrong, Silent Bob.

44
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:22,963
Ooh, that's quite a thingamajigsaw,
but it looks like you're missing a piece.

45
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:26,842
- Looks like you're missing a wife.
- Ha, ha, I walked right into that one.

46
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:29,616
He's right, Dad.
We're missing that singer's head.

47
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:35,007
This is awful. It's like listening
to Schubert's "Unfinished Symphony."

48
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:38,343
Or when I messed up taping City
Slickers Il and cut off the end.

49
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,387
Was Curly's gold just a legend?

50
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,306
Or like when...

51
00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:45,653
I got nothing.
Uh, let's just find that piece.

52
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:53,254
Hey, remember that pet gerbil we used
to have? He didn't run away after all.

53
00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:00,584
Puzzle piece, come out and play.

54
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,294
Hey, what's this?

55
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:03,712
"Marge's Memory Chest"?

56
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,823
Aw, Marge saved all this stuff
from when we were going out.

57
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:13,316
Fake business card I made
to impress her.

58
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,308
T-shirt from our first rock concert.

59
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:22,022
"Meaux's Tavern grand opening."

60
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:26,193
That was back when his floors
were sticky with promise.

61
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:33,909
Welcome to Meaux's. Home
of the finest bar crystal in Springfield.

62
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,404
Shouldn't have cheaped out
on the shelf.

63
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:44,472
I can't believe how young we looked
in my memory.

64
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:47,193
Hey, there's writing
on the back of this.

65
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:48,663
"Dear Homer...

66
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:53,304
...I can't believe you're making this
the worst night of my life"?

67
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,538
You leave me
sitting here all alone...

68
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,833
...while you play video games
with your Neanderthal friends."

69
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,856
Marge, come here.

70
00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:07,589
I need both hands for this game.
Can you feed me nachos while I play?

71
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:09,497
Why don't you just stop playing?

72
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,344
Tell that to the brave crew
of the S.S. Triangle.

73
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:14,471
It's the evil rocks.

74
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:15,951
Take that.

75
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,037
Homer, I really don't wanna feed you.

76
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,926
Come on. You're always saying
we should do things as a couple.

77
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,320
Oh, this is wonderful.

78
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,322
I love you...

79
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,209
...Atari.

80
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,829
Video games and too much beer.

81
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,123
You sure know
how to show a girl a good time.

82
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,094
Well, I aims to please.

83
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:48,797
Hey, let's stop by that Dumpster
and make out, ha, ha.

84
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,384
Hold that thought.

85
00:05:56,982 --> 00:05:59,839
Young man, you've ingested
a dangerous amount of alcohol.

86
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:02,936
The only dangerous amount is none.

87
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,648
Let's go to the IHOP. I'm driving.

88
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:10,370
- All right, come on. Hey! Ow!
- Okay, Burger King. Whatever.

89
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,425
Get his leg.

90
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,250
Tonight,
I learned the two of us can't work.

91
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,909
I don't want a life
of watching you get drunk...

92
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:21,600
...then holding back your long,
beautiful hair while you vomit.

93
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,832
I have my own dreams.

94
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,719
And I can't live them with you.

95
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,628
Why did she stay with me
if she hated me so much?

96
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:31,819
Hey, two days later,
she had a doctor's appointment.

97
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,957
"Nausea, cravings,
knocked up feeling."

98
00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:37,199
She was pregnant with Bart.

99
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,994
And that's the reason
she stayed with me.

100
00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:44,154
I found the missing puzzle piece.
It was under Maggie's eyelid.

101
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:47,241
- How about that?
- It's James Taylor.

102
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,348
Oh, the popular
singer/songwriter/puzzle piece.

103
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,152
James Taylor.

104
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,404
Homie, remember that song
we used to sing?

105
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,907
- Mockingbird.
- Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.

106
00:06:58,544 --> 00:06:59,670
Homie, what's wrong?

107
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,568
Marge, did I ruin your life?

108
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,321
Oh, is this about that billboard
my sisters put up?

109
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,619
No. The voters will decide that
in November.

110
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,476
- I was talking about this.
- Hmm?

111
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,177
Oh, my God. I forgot all about this.

112
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,180
- Where did you find it?
- More like where didn't I find it?

113
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,672
It was practically everywhere.

114
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:26,113
Homer, I'm sorry you saw that,
but I was very upset that night.

115
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:29,408
Quit changing the subject.
How do you feel about me right now?

116
00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:31,712
Well, I love you, of course.

117
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,204
But a lot of things you do
still drive me crazy.

118
00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:37,666
So you mean our whole marriage you've
been resenting me behind my back?

119
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:39,709
A little bit, yeah.

120
00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:43,401
Fine. I'll go sleep with someone
who does appreciate me.

121
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,294
Time to repress another memory.

122
00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:54,944
I am at Disneyland.

123
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,343
Disneyland.

124
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:04,328
You made your own breakfast?

125
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,123
Looks like you had a problem
with those scrambled eggs.

126
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,521
- It was a muffin.
- I'll fix you something.

127
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:13,285
Oh, I get it. Your stupid husband
is too "drunk" to do it right.

128
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,892
Well, there are a lot of beer cans
around here.

129
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:21,502
Oh, so you don't like it. What other
secrets have you been hoarding to use?

130
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,515
Homer, let it go.
It's not always gonna be perfect.

131
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:26,402
We've been married for 10 years.

132
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,957
Oh, I didn't realize
you've been counting the years.

133
00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:33,096
- Is it that horrible living with me?
- This morning isn't a barrel of laughs.

134
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:37,580
It is to me. Marge, I can't live like this.
I'm tired of walking around on eggshells.

135
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,541
Maybe if you didn't throw them
on the floor.

136
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,024
Now you're just making up rules.

137
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,110
Who made you Judge Judy
and executioner?

138
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,418
Dad, where are you going?

139
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:56,380
Kids, sometimes when a daddy learns
that a mommy always hated him...

140
00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,872
...he needs some time away to think.

141
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:02,073
You're not gonna get divorced
like Milhouse's parents, are you?

142
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:06,223
Ha, ha. Oh, no, no.
This is nothing like Milhouse's parents.

143
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:10,029
Now, if you need me,
I'll be staying with Milhouse's father.

144
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:18,413
Uh, welcome to my place.
I just have a few rules.

145
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,655
If you see a necktie on the doorknob,
I'm with a lady.

146
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,492
- You don't have a doorknob.
- I don't have a tie either.

147
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,337
Just go label your food.

148
00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:31,655
Oh, Luann.

149
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,344
Luann.

150
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,835
My money.

151
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,629
Arlene!

152
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:49,517
Do I dare to go up? Or is the love
that waits behind that window just a lie?

153
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,854
Uh, Homer, I think you want your house
next door?

154
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,951
Pfft, stupid Flanders
with his misleading silhouette.

155
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,933
Well, I guess I have no choice
but to go back home and...

156
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,342
Hey.
I never noticed that newspaper box.

157
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:07,889
"Apartment Finder.
We put you in your place.

158
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:11,101
Roommate wanted
for three-bedroom apartment.

159
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:15,167
Spacious, river view,
only $400 a month"?

160
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:17,034
Thank you, news box.

161
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,161
Ah! It's gone.

162
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:24,187
All right.
I got me a place to put my "spiderses."

163
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:28,837
What a well-kept street.

164
00:10:29,213 --> 00:10:32,320
And there sure are a lot of gay
bookstores for a straight neighborhood.

165
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,906
It's a cinch
these guys never had any kids.

166
00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,182
Hey, Mr. Smithers.

167
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,278
Ha. Hello, Simpson.

168
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,729
What's the deal with this place?
It's so manly, yet scented.

169
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:48,835
Ha, ha. Yes, I seem to have gotten lost
on my way to the, uh...

170
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,068
...big auto, uh, racing festival.

171
00:10:51,527 --> 00:10:52,913
So I've never been here before.

172
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,739
- Hey, Waylon.
- Who's the bear? Woof!

173
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:58,441
Ooh, is that the Mr. Burns
you're always talking about?

174
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,348
No. He's nobody. Shut up, Stewart.

175
00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,392
Nice to meet you, Stewart.

176
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:04,946
Homer, before you move in...

177
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:08,158
...you should know that Julio and I
have an active social life.

178
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,181
Me too.
I'm a member of this club...

179
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:13,006
...where if I eat one more sub,
I get a free sub sandwich.

180
00:11:13,549 --> 00:11:16,444
You probably saw the ad where this guy
used to be fat but now he's just ugly.

181
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,919
Homer, what Grady is saying is that...
How can I put this?

182
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:22,943
Look, we might have a cocktails,
say, where all the guests are male.

183
00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:27,041
Are you trying to tell me that you guys
are those guys that like guys?

184
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,116
That's right, Homer. We're gay.

185
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,681
You are? Hmm. Which will win out?

186
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,506
My old-fashioned prejudices...

187
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,092
...or that I've already mixed my laundry
with yours.

188
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,511
I'll have to sleep on it.

189
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:45,216
He's sleeping in the pantry.

190
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:46,717
Ah! My spices.

191
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,637
You guys lead a fascinating life.

192
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,942
Why are you reading The New York
Times? You don't live in New York.

193
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:57,613
Oh, I despise the Springfield Shopper.
What is that? The headlines are jokes.

194
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:03,661
Where'd you buy this? From the guy
on the exit ramp? Disgusting.

195
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:05,945
Calm down, Picky Ricardo.

196
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,062
He made us a great breakfast
and you're just riding his butt...

197
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:10,741
...and not in a good way.

198
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,556
Thank you, Homer.
It's a pleasure cooking for you.

199
00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:16,268
Well, get used to it
because I'm gonna stay.

200
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,543
Fabulous.
Here's the key to the lotion cabinet.

201
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:23,003
Grady, are you sure
you want to live with him?

202
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,351
It's either him or that girl
who put "Mother Earth" as a reference.

203
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,999
And with a male roommate,
we can walk around naked.

204
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,499
Way ahead of you.

205
00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:33,044
Woo!

206
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,350
Don't worry, sweetie.
Your father won't stay mad forever.

207
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,644
It's so weird not having Dad here.

208
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,876
I can't fall asleep
if I haven't read him his bedtime story.

209
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,286
Hello? Hold on.

210
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,445
"Nancy Drew let out a low whistle.

211
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:51,522
'This isn't an old windmill at all.
It's a new windmill. ""

212
00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:54,274
No, Dad. I'm sure she won't be killed.

213
00:12:56,652 --> 00:12:58,883
In a West End town, a dead end world.

214
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:02,626
The East End boys and West End girls.

215
00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:06,172
West End girls.

216
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:13,950
West End girls.

217
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,964
- That will be $100.
- I see.

218
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,240
Dad took us antiquing.

219
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,493
Yeah. Along the way, we took photos
of interesting doors and gates.

220
00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:28,840
Your father sure can be thoughtful
when he wants to be.

221
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:32,177
Marge, please.
Let's not fight in front of the kids.

222
00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,888
Just secretly hate me
the way you always have.

223
00:13:35,399 --> 00:13:37,703
I love watching you guys fight.
It's my earliest memory.

224
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:39,663
- Why, you little...!
- Aah!

225
00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:42,228
Dad, your hands feel so soft.

226
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,825
You noticed. I've been using Lancôme.

227
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,046
Ugh. Oh, it shows.

228
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,840
I haven't had a strangle that smooth
since I was 4.

229
00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:53,928
Well, I better go. But before I do, Marge,
there's something I wanna ask you.

230
00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:56,274
Yes, Homie?

231
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:59,120
How much do you tip a leg waxer?
I need to know by tomorrow.

232
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,707
Just go. And take your stupid
Lhasa Apso with you.

233
00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:09,078
Mom, I know Dad cares about you,
but his feelings are really hurt.

234
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:13,124
- Why don't you just say you're sorry?
- Lisa, marriage is a beautiful thing.

235
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,627
But it's also a constant battle
for moral superiority.

236
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,099
So I can't apologize.

237
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,602
Couldn't you just say you're sorry
and not mean it? I do it all the time.

238
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,398
- I don't think I've ever meant it.
- That's not right.

239
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,034
Sorry, Mom.

240
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:28,409
See? It's that easy.

241
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:33,916
So how was your visit home?

242
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:37,002
The kids are cool.
But Marge is still judging me.

243
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:40,328
- Oh, so it's over between you two?
- Maybe it is.

244
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:44,510
I used to look at Marge and get the same
tingle you get when you see Rip Taylor.

245
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:46,647
I don't know what's gonna happen.

246
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,316
Come on, let's dance.

247
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,311
Hey, hey. Whoo!

248
00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:08,502
Yeah, baby. You go.

249
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,233
I didn't think it was possible.

250
00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,225
But watching him
makes me more lesbian.

251
00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:13,830
Lesbian?

252
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:17,063
This isn't my Army reunion.

253
00:15:17,668 --> 00:15:20,963
- You're coming home with me.
- Yes, colonel.

254
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,876
He's gay. He's gay.

255
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:29,951
Gay. Gay. Bi.

256
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:32,182
Gay. Gay for pay. Gay.

257
00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:33,996
Tennessee Williams?

258
00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:36,405
But how did he survive
in the world of theater?

259
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,251
Homer, please.

260
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:42,088
Practically everyone who's acted in,
produced, or even seen a play is gay.

261
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,497
Uh, Homer, I think you should see this.

262
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:49,627
Homie, I tried to tell you how I feel
but I can't find the right words.

263
00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:52,004
Maybe he can.

264
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,506
"Weird Al" Yankovic?

265
00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:55,372
Marge wrote me
about what happened.

266
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:58,604
And as soon as her check cleared,
I was on the first flight here.

267
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,847
- You get the parody songs I sent you?
- Ugh, yes.

268
00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:03,421
Which one was better?

269
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,081
"Living La Pizza Loca"
or "Another One Bites the Crust"?

270
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,709
- They were pretty much the same.
- Yeah. Like you and Allan Sherman.

271
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:11,805
Now, here's a song I wrote for you.

272
00:16:20,898 --> 00:16:24,151
Little ditty about Homer and Marge.

273
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:28,593
Her heart was as big
As his stomach was large.

274
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:32,545
Oh, yeah, they say love goes on.

275
00:16:33,202 --> 00:16:36,788
Long after the grilled cheese
sandwich Is gone.

276
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:42,680
It would take a man of stone
with a funny bone of steel to resist that.

277
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:46,131
Homer, would you at least
let me take you out on a date?

278
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:48,832
I don't know. Date a chick with kids?

279
00:16:49,343 --> 00:16:51,021
- Dad...
- All right, all right.

280
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,441
- Nice work, Lisa.
- Thanks, Julio.

281
00:16:53,931 --> 00:16:55,140
I love you as a blond.

282
00:16:55,516 --> 00:16:58,039
You do? Oh, God, Lisa,
if I was an 8-year-old straight boy...

283
00:16:58,602 --> 00:17:00,427
...I would be holding your hand
right now.

284
00:17:05,943 --> 00:17:08,946
Ooh, wait.
Marge likes a little bit of stubble.

285
00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:12,574
Uh-oh. Gotta even it out.

286
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:15,619
Somebody's nervous.

287
00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:18,445
Well, we got the cure for that.
Margaritas.

288
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:21,114
Margarita? That's Mexican for Marge.

289
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,085
I'll take that as a sign.

290
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,362
Where is he? Where is he?

291
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:33,689
Who dares challenge ye Black Knight?

292
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:39,570
Step forward if ye be free of lower back
pain, heart conditions, and pregnancy.

293
00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:42,563
And please turn off thy cell phones
and pagers.

294
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:47,057
I've learned a lot living here.

295
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:49,765
It doesn't matter what someone's
sexual preferences are...

296
00:17:49,987 --> 00:17:51,187
...unless they're a celebrity.

297
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:53,125
In which case, it's dish, dish, dish.

298
00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:56,054
Homer, weren't you supposed
to meet your wife half an hour ago?

299
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,777
D'oh! You don't have
a gay time machine, do you?

300
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:02,040
Yes. It's called Grady's shoe closet.

301
00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:04,157
Hey, Julio? Ouch.

302
00:18:04,585 --> 00:18:06,013
I gotta go.

303
00:18:07,838 --> 00:18:10,069
Oh. Oh, lordy.

304
00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:12,937
Now for ye knights' and wenches'
delectation...

305
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,220
...I have some royal proclamations.

306
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:18,421
We welcome Cub Scout
Troop Number 102.

307
00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:20,444
We wish a happy birthday to Karen.

308
00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:25,063
Congratulations to Marge and Homer
Simpson on their reconciliation dinner.

309
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:30,871
Oh, sorry I'm late. The Velvet Mafia
made me a margarita I couldn't refuse.

310
00:18:31,612 --> 00:18:33,697
Goodbye, Homer.
I try to save our marriage.

311
00:18:34,198 --> 00:18:38,222
You just get drunk and spend the whole
night with your homosexual boyfriends.

312
00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:42,915
Reverend Lovejoy, Mrs. Lovejoy,
Principal Skinner, Duffman.

313
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,928
Fact is, certain people aren't right
for each other.

314
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:48,358
You gave it a chance, it didn't work.

315
00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:50,193
At least you tried.

316
00:18:50,589 --> 00:18:52,966
But it was Marge,
my first and only love.

317
00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:57,033
I'm like David Spade
without Chris Farley, alone and useless.

318
00:18:57,721 --> 00:19:01,308
Oh, Homer, a guy as cool and special
as you will have no trouble...

319
00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:03,769
...believe me.

320
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,149
Wow.

321
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,955
Wow. I never realized
you felt about me that way.

322
00:19:13,529 --> 00:19:14,929
We should take some time to talk...

323
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,085
I'd just end up hurting you!

324
00:19:21,537 --> 00:19:24,936
I was just thinking, my problems with
Marge started because I drink too much.

325
00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:27,928
And then tonight,
alcohol only made things worse.

326
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:31,171
Maybe all of my problems
are actually caused by...

327
00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:33,795
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Take your medicine, you lush, you.

328
00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,027
Hey, what happened here?

329
00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:46,030
Uh, he was drinking at Harrigan's bar
down the street there.

330
00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:48,209
They ought to close that dump down.

331
00:19:49,857 --> 00:19:50,857
Yeah.

332
00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:54,142
That was a close call.
We took this much out of you.

333
00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:57,666
But it's still not as bad
as the first time I treated you.

334
00:19:58,282 --> 00:20:00,993
Oh, yeah.
The night that destroyed my marriage.

335
00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:02,630
Destroyed your marriage?

336
00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:05,341
Why, I'd never seen a woman
look so devoted.

337
00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:07,437
Let's look at the tape.

338
00:20:10,127 --> 00:20:11,127
You have that on tape?

339
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,776
Mm, it was back when I thought
the nurse was stealing sponges.

340
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,667
He's stable now.
I'll leave you two alone.

341
00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:21,232
Homie, I was so worried about you.

342
00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:23,255
I was really mad at you tonight.

343
00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:26,789
But you're a good person.
And that's whatl see most of the time.

344
00:20:27,436 --> 00:20:28,791
Whatever problems we have...

345
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:32,003
...we have a lifetime to work
them out together.

346
00:20:32,608 --> 00:20:33,994
So she didn't hate me.

347
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,518
She married me
because she loved me.

348
00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:38,270
And I still do.

349
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,845
Marge, I never wanna be apart
from you again.

350
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:42,722
Well, you'll never have to.

351
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:47,143
That is the best kiss I've had tonight.

352
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:48,717
Or was it?

353
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:51,866
- Homie, what are you thinking?
- Manly thoughts.

354
00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:58,248
All I have left now are my tapes.

355
00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:03,587
She was stealing sponges. I knew it.

356
00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:13,398
That's a story about Homer and Marge.

357
00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:17,809
Two folks I helped out
For a nominal charge.

358
00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:22,585
After Homer went gay
They patched up their schism.

359
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:26,286
But the dude never dealt
With his alcoholism.

360
00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:31,677
Weird Al saying
"Oh, yeah, the credits go on.

361
00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:36,171
Long after the viewer's interest
Is gone".

362
00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:40,874
Oh, yeah
Weird Al had fun on this show.

363
00:21:41,802 --> 00:21:45,754
Even if it was just a brief cameo