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(theme music playing)
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00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,506
CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(bell ringing)
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(whistle blows)
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(beeping)
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(playing the blues)
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(chimes)
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(tires screeching)
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(honking horn)
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D'oh!
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(tires screeching)
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{\an8}BART: Ice cream at church?
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{\an8}I'm intrigued, yet suspicious.
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{\an8}Wow, look at all these flavors.
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{\an8}"Blessed Virgin Berry,
Command-Mint, Bible-Gum."
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{\an8}Or if you prefer, we also have
Unitarian ice cream.
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{\an8}-There's nothing here.
-Exactly.
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{\an8}One Tower of Babel and build it to heaven.
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{\an8}To heaven!
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{\an8}Oh.
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{\an8}(grunting)
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{\an8}Christ be with you.
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{\an8}(groaning)
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{\an8}D'oh! (groans)
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{\an8}(clears throat) Hi.
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{\an8}I've created the first
intra-bovine ice-cream maker.
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{\an8}It makes use of all four stomachs.
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{\an8}The first being filled with
rock salt, then sugar, cream...
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{\an8}and of course, Freon so cold it burns me.
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{\an8}I'll have the darkety kind.
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{\an8}Uh, one chocolate, Mootilda.
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(moos)
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(gulps)
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{\an8}Can I have a swirl
of chocolate and vanilla?
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{\an8}-Huh? Uh-uh!
-Oh, nonsense. You can do it.
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{\an8}-(moos)
-(yelps) Ivan Reitman!
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-(whining)
-Ow!
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{\an8}-I've never seen a brain freeze this bad.
-(whining)
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{\an8}Give me 50cc's of hot fudge, stat.
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{\an8}Hold still. You're gonna feel
a slight chocolaty sensation.
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{\an8}(gurgling)
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{\an8}(relieved sigh)
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{\an8}(P.A. feedback squeals)
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{\an8}All right, let's welcome
this evening's entertainment.
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{\an8}They call her the Christian Madonna...
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{\an8}Rachel Jordan!
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{\an8}(applause, whistling)
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{\an8}♪ Jesus loves me this I'm sure ♪
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{\an8}♪ I'm a groupie on his tour... ♪
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{\an8}-(singing continues)
-Rachel Jordan?
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{\an8}Isn't that the woman
you had a crush on, Ned?
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{\an8}(stammering)
I didn't have a "crush" on her.
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-Are you blushing, Mr. Flanders?
-No, I'm not-
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-Leave Ned alone.
-Thank you, Homer.
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He can't admit he likes her till he's sure
she likes him back.
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And there's only one way to find out.
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{\an8}Does... Rachel... like... Ned?
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It says I have cooties.
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Flanders has cooties!
Flanders has cooties!
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(applause)
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{\an8}That was great. I can't believe
she found a rhyme for Hezekiah.
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Hey, she's coming this way!
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(gasps, clears throat)
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I thought you didn't like her.
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(all laugh)
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-Oh!
-(gasps) Ned Flanders?
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Now, where have you been
hi-diddly-hiding?
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Uh-uh-uh... Oh, hey, Rachel. (chuckles)
Well, what do you know?
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We both like plain vanilla
with nothin' on it.
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Actually, all the toppings were gone.
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(both groan)
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Ants are crawling in my mouth,
and I don't care.
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So, uh, where's your band?
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They switched from
Christian music to regular pop.
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All you do is change "Jesus" to "baby."
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-Oh, how horrible.
-Uh! They'll all go to hell.
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Say, how's your life going?
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{\an8}Ooh, she wants to know
how your life is going.
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{\an8}Well, my wife's passing was rough.
But I think I'm finally ready to move on.
80
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That's great.
Maybe we could have coffee sometime.
81
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Oh, she wants to have coffee sometime!
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-I can hear her, Homer!
-He can hear you, Rachel!
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(clears throat) I'd love to get together,
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but tomorrow I've got lifeguard duty
at the baptismal pool.
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OK. Well, maybe another time.
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You know, I'd better
go check into my hotel.
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Hotel? Why don't you just
stay at Ned's place?
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My place? What would the neighbors think?
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We're the neighbors, and we don't think.
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Ned, I understand
if you feel uncomfortable.
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You're still getting over your wife.
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Now, wait just a Maude-gone minute, here!
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I'm through livin' in the past,
and you can see for yourself.
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Well, you've certainly got a theme going.
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All right, I'll take the couch,
and you can have my room.
96
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Oh, uh, could you sleep on my side?
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00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,901
I'm trying to preserve
Maude's indentation.
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-Sorry.
-Oh, no problem!
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A little starch will fix her right up.
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-(shudders)
-Cold, huh?
101
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This should keep you toasty.
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{\an8}How about that? It says "Maude."
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{\an8}(sniffs) Mmm, I love chenille. Don't you?
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{\an8}I don't love it. I don't hate it.
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Mmm, well, good night, Maude.
I mean, Maude.
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I mean, Rachel! I mean, Maude.
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{\an8}Oop!
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(Ned humming)
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(gasps, shrieks)
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Oh, my God! You're trying to make me
look like your dead wife!
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No, no, now, I-- I know
this is a... tad unseemly
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but if you just let me even out the back-
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I'm calling a cab! Good-bye, Ned!
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{\an8}-(door slams)
-Oh, who am I kidding?
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{\an8}I'm not over Maude at all.
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HOMER: Yeah, maybe it was too soon.
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Well? Aren't you gonna invite me in?
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I sure appreciate you folks
offering to go through Maude's things.
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If it were up to me,
I wouldn't throw anything away.
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Oh, don't you worry.
We'll make all the hard decisions
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so you don't have to.
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{\an8}-We can take whatever we want, right?
-Ye-- What?
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{\an8}Don't listen to him. You just have
a good time at the eye doctor.
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Always do!
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-HOMER: Say, "Bye, Mr. Flanders."
-CHILDREN: Bye, Mr. Flanders!
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MARGE: Poor Ned.
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He can't look anywhere
without being reminded of Maude.
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Yeah, a lifetime of memories. (grunts)
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Homer, don't you have any respect?
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Sure. Of course I do. But life goes on.
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Ashes to ashes. Turn, turn, turn.
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Long live rock, and so forth.
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(humming)
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{\an8}Don't throw this away.
It's Rod's first tooth.
135
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You're right. We could use this
for witchcraft.
136
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Wow. Three pairs of shoes.
137
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Someone had a fetish.
138
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{\an8}-(music box slows, stops)
-(Homer grunting)
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Man, this is taking forever.
140
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I know how to speed things up.
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(whining, grinding)
142
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-(banging)
-Her pillow's stuck.
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(gulps)
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NED: Oh, my. The room looks so bare.
145
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,962
-Are you OK, Ned?
-Yeah, just a little shocked.
146
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What's that? Some kind of sorting machine?
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-Kinda.
-(whining, grinding)
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Now for the awkward part.
149
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,097
-We gotta talk about money.
-(gasps)
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You said we were doing
this out of friendship.
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What? That doesn't sound like me.
152
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{\an8}Hey, Dad. Something didn't get,
um, "sorted."
153
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,356
(gasps) Maude's old sketchbook.
154
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,941
She was quite the little artist, you know.
155
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,444
Oh, eh, is that a fact?
And you think you know someone.
156
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:09,822
There's our house. A rainbow.
157
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Oh, a white hand shaking a black hand.
158
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"Praiseland"?
159
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"Rides, food"? A"tithing pond"?
160
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:23,044
-LISA: It looks like an amusement park.
-NED: You're right!
161
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:25,505
Maude designed a Christian amusement park.
162
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:28,841
-Oh, it must've been her final dream.
-Hey, how about that?
163
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,760
{\an8}Let's build it for her, Daddy.
164
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,845
(chuckles) Oh, that's a nice thought,
Toddy.
165
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:38,351
But to build an amusement park, you need
lots of money and manpower and turnstiles.
166
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,186
But Mommy wanted it.
167
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Hmm?
168
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:54,742
But where do you put something that big?
169
00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:57,161
You could fix up
the old Storytime Village.
170
00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,081
They've been out of business
ever since that kid got his head cut off.
171
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:03,084
-That sounds perfect.
-Well, what the heck?
172
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-Who's ready to build an amusement park?
-ALL: Yay!
173
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Sell Storytime Village?
174
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:13,469
Why, you gotta be off your tuffet!
175
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,180
Well, it's been closed
for so long, and-- and l--
176
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:19,684
I thought I could turn it
into a-- a Christian theme park.
177
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:23,312
Christian, eh? Well, that's different.
178
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,107
Now, the thing is
I don't have a lot of money.
179
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:29,193
And what the hell good are you?
Beat it, you hippie!
180
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,696
-But l--
-You're right. That was harsh.
181
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Tell you what.
182
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,866
Maybe I could donate
the park as a tax write-off.
183
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:40,705
(gasps) If you could do that, I'd make
this place a shining beacon for the Lord!
184
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:43,708
Ah, you are so full of it!
185
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,459
God's grace, that is.
186
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,545
It's really sickening...
187
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,213
there aren't more people like you.
188
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,132
Now get out...
189
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:53,718
{\an8}your pen and we'll make it official.
190
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,803
Oh, bless you, sir!
191
00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:03,644
(grunts) Geppetto's workshop will make
a great stable for the Nativity scene.
192
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,855
(grunting)
193
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,773
You're doing that the sucker way.
194
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,610
Try a little vitamin "G"!
195
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,612
(humming)
196
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,615
(gasps) Are you nuts?
197
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:19,243
Relax. It's a controlled burn. Uh-oh.
198
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,038
(lamb bleating)
199
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:24,415
(grunting)
200
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:26,417
Huh?
201
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,629
Darn teenagers with their beer bottles.
202
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:32,256
Uh, yeah. Teenagers. Huh!
203
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,717
(sighs)
204
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,594
Ned, I'm worried about you.
205
00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:39,513
You've been working nonstop
for the past week.
206
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:41,223
Well, it's been a tad harder
than I thought.
207
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:45,478
But I'm not complaining,
'cause I work for a sweet, sweet boss.
208
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,438
You're our foreman, Maude.
209
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:51,567
She's still bossing you around
from beyond the grave? Can they do that?
210
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,363
No, I don't mind, but my greenback stack's
gettin' kind of slack.
211
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,948
How about asking the community
for donations?
212
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:01,160
(chuckles) I'm not very good
at begging people for stuff.
213
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:04,872
I am. I'd be glad to spearhead
the entire begging initiative.
214
00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:07,375
-Oh, thanks, Homer.
-No problem.
215
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,377
I'll need a sack and something sharp.
216
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,673
Well, I guess I could
donate these costumes.
217
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,175
They're from my Last Supper
pie-throwing sketch.
218
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:17,885
(Wiggum grunts)
219
00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:20,763
You can have these,
uh, fireworks I confiscated.
220
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:24,642
Some Chinese people claimed they were
celebrating New Year's in February.
221
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:28,479
(laughs) Oh, yeah. Those guys
and their crazy scams.
222
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:31,023
(both laugh)
223
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,234
Good food, though.
224
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:38,614
This sawdust'll soak up the puke
from the roller coaster.
225
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,741
That's Willie's special blend.
226
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,118
(sniffing)
227
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:45,329
{\an8}Do I detect a hint of cinnamon?
228
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,331
{\an8}Oh, I'll never tell.
229
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:50,543
Praiseland amusement park
has its grand opening today.
230
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:54,213
We now go live to its founder,
Mr. Nedward Flanders.
231
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:57,591
Oh, morning, Kent.
Our volunteers have done an amazing job
232
00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,176
-getting the park ready here.
-(chuckles)
233
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,846
We're gonna show Springfield
that faith and devotion
234
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:05,266
-are the wildest thrill rides of all.
-(babbles, gasps)
235
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:08,436
All right. I hear the mayor's arriving
for the ribbon cutting.
236
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,273
It is with great pride that I dedicate
237
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:14,358
this new school,
sports arena or attraction.
238
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,364
{\an8}(crowd cheering)
239
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,916
Well, Maude, your dream
has finally come true.
240
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,961
(children shouting, laughing)
241
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:40,176
Halt! Who dares to disturb King David?
242
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,221
Silence! You have invaded the chamber
243
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:48,267
where I wrote all of my 150 psalms.
244
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,812
-(all gasp)
-I hope you enjoy hearing them all.
245
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,316
Number one. "Blessed is the man
246
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:58,986
who does not walk
in the council of the wicked."
247
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:02,072
{\an8}What do you hit 'em with?
248
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:05,785
-There's no mallet.
-You can stop Satan with your faith.
249
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,828
My face? You callin' me ugly?
250
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,789
No, no, no, no. I think you're beautiful.
251
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:13,083
-Oh, that's it!
-(shrieks)
252
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:15,836
Ooh, what can I get you, little Christian?
253
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,464
How about a Noah's Ark of jellies?
254
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:20,549
Oh, are there two of every flavor?
255
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,969
-Nope. They're all the same-- plain.
-Oh.
256
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,263
How about a Maude mask?
257
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:29,433
(as Maude) I'm Maude. God is super!
258
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:30,935
{\an8}Can I sit in the car?
259
00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:33,938
{\an8}-Let's both sit in the car.
-Bye-bye.
260
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:37,775
A Bible park without beer? (scoffs)
Now I've seen everything!
261
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,902
And this candy is sub-par.
262
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:43,948
Any religion that embraces carob is, uh,
not for Carl Carlson.
263
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,827
Oh! Hey, get out of the way,
pal. You're blocking the exit.
264
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,412
{\an8}Oh, you want me to stamp
your hand so you can get back in?
265
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,497
{\an8}Don't you dare!
266
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,708
-Bye, everybody!
-What a rip-off!
267
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,335
It ain't even worth torching.
268
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:58,504
Whoa! Where's everyone going?
What's wrong?
269
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:01,173
This place is the height of tedium.
270
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,133
Yar! She blows!
271
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,052
(gasps)
272
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,764
(sighs)
273
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,767
Oh, Maude, I turned your dream
of a Christian amusement park
274
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,103
into a bemusement park.
275
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,022
-(gasps) Don't say that, Ned!
-It is!
276
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,732
It's a bemusement park!
277
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:25,865
I'm sorry, sweetheart. Oh, please,
don't look at me like that!
278
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,371
(gasps)
279
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,043
-(all gasp)
-It's a miracle!
280
00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:42,631
-(all exclaiming)
-It's almost like she's alive again.
281
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,258
What's that, floating mask?
282
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:46,385
Y-You want me to shoot everyone?
283
00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:47,386
(all exclaiming)
284
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:50,264
Nah, I'm just screwin' with ya.
It's a miracle.
285
00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:51,515
ALL: Oh!
286
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:03,235
-(all exclaiming)
-This is fantastic.
287
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:07,364
I've never been so close
to rubbing my eyes in disbelief.
288
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,534
Oh, what the heck! Huh? Huh?
289
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:14,622
I think it's a sign from God
that we should all go nuts! Whoa-hoa!
290
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,332
-What the-
-(grunting)
291
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,709
Ah! What is wrong with you?
292
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,794
-Go get that!
-Yes, ma'am.
293
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:28,844
Well, looks like our phenomenon
is actually a phenome-not!
294
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,972
(chuckles) Because when you look
at it rationally--
295
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:35,392
(gibberish) Hakala makta towhoo abowhoo.
296
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,518
Hakala makta towhoo abowhoo.
297
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,855
-(all exclaiming)
-He's speaking in tongues!
298
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:44,151
Oh, knock it off, Seymour!
Go find that boy with my purse!
299
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:48,989
-Oh! It was incredible! I saw heaven!
--(all gasp)
300
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,408
But it wasn't clouds
and angels playing harps
301
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:54,119
like at the end of so many
Three Stooges shorts.
302
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,205
It was a golden elementary school
303
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:59,500
with a teacher's lounge that stretched
as far as the eye could see.
304
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,252
-And no one was ever tardy.
-Was I there?
305
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:06,507
No! It was heaven, my vision of heaven.
306
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:07,925
(crowd murmuring)
307
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:11,428
Oh, truly this was the will of Maude.
308
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,806
Hey, I want the Maude statue
to give me a vision!
309
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:14,890
CROWD: Yeah!
310
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,475
WIGGUM: Yeah! I want to hallucinate, too!
311
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,770
{\an8}I'm sorry. The ticket price doesn't cover
312
00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:23,148
visions, miracles or other godly hoo-ha.
313
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:27,319
Yeah, folks. The power of Christ
compels you to give Ned an extra 10 bucks.
314
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,612
(chattering, shouting)
315
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:31,782
Homer, no! I can't exploit
a divine manifestation.
316
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,034
Oh, why not? Everybody's doin' it.
317
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:37,454
You could give the money to the orphanage.
I hear they need a new wall.
318
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:40,791
(whimpering) Three is not enough.
319
00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:44,378
(coughing, gagging)
320
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:47,297
(chattering)
321
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:51,677
(humming)
322
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,846
Maude, it's Disco Stu.
323
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:57,266
Lay some heaven on me, foxy dead chick.
324
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,560
Ooh! (grunting)
325
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,312
(disco music playing)
326
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:08,360
Ah, Disco Stu. Right this way.
327
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:12,239
But, hey, Saint Peter, you just said,
like, you was full.
328
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:15,034
-DISCO STU: Oh, yeah!
-Ah, geez.
329
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:18,162
-(music continues)
-Ah! Ooh! Ah!
330
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:22,166
{\an8}-Whoa, Frank Sinatra!
-For me, this is hell. You dig, pally?
331
00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,168
Ah, ah!
332
00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,003
{\an8}(grunting)
333
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,176
-Who's next?
-That would be me. Thank you, sonny.
334
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,221
(grunting)
335
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,393
(alarm blaring)
336
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:47,441
My chair! It's... got a mind of its own!
337
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:51,820
-Help me, Mr. Spock!
-Shazbot! My captain is in peril.
338
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,947
(shouting)
339
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:59,495
You saved the captain's life.
I want to make out with you.
340
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,789
And so do Catwoman and Agent 99.
341
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,582
-(purrs)
-(kisses)
342
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:04,666
Oh!
343
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,545
How come everybody's
having visions, Daddy?
344
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:11,256
Oh, there's no explaining
God's will, Roddy.
345
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,259
That's like explaining
how an airplane flies.
346
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:19,056
Stupid grill! Why won't you light?
The gas is on full blast.
347
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,558
You better stick your head in
and see what's goin' on.
348
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:22,684
Good idea.
349
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:26,146
No, Dad! I think
there's a leak in the line!
350
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,482
Leak in the line?
351
00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:32,986
(hissing)
352
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:38,075
(gibberish)
353
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:42,704
Oh, no! This isn't a divine miracle.
354
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,082
Everyone's just gettin'
goofy from the gas.
355
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:48,418
(gibberish)
356
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,297
Uh-Uh, folks, I just discovered,
357
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:56,552
eh, something about this statue that,
uh, may disappoint you.
358
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:57,636
You see-
359
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,891
What is it, Mr. Flanders?
360
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,477
Is something wrong with the miracle?
361
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:10,190
Will there still be money
for the orphans? (wheezing)
362
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,985
(coughing)
363
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:17,072
Hello, gas company?
How poisonous is your gas?
364
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,658
Wow. Bu-- Eh-- But I'm talking about,
365
00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:22,035
you know, outdoors
with plenty of ventilation.
366
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,454
That-- How could that be worse?
367
00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:28,333
OK, permanent brain damage
or just temporary?
368
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,418
I see.
369
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:33,463
I gotta close Praiseland down.
Someone could get hurt.
370
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:35,549
(sighs)
371
00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:39,845
"Could" get hurt. "Could."
There's a chance they won't.
372
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:42,848
Ned, Praiseland has
touched an entire town...
373
00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:47,186
with its inspiring message
and toxic super freak-outs!
374
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:51,773
Look at those smiling faces.
Rich laughing with poor.
375
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,693
Bullies breaking bread with nerds.
376
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:58,071
{\an8}Orphans lighting candles
over a leaking gas line.
377
00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,198
Lighting candles?
378
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:02,201
-(gasping)
-(groaning)
379
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,037
TOGETHER: No-o-o!
380
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,372
(scream, groan)
381
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,626
I can't feel my legs.
382
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,419
I taste blood.
383
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,296
(Ned and Homer sigh)
384
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,924
-(all gasp)
-Adults attacking orphans?
385
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:19,676
I don't think Maude Flanders
would approve of that.
386
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,136
Absolutely not!
387
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,263
-Never!
-No friggin' way!
388
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,141
Yeah. This place is more like "Crazeland."
389
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,560
-CROWD: Huh?
-Instead of "Praiseland."
390
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:29,728
-CROWD: Oh!
-I see.
391
00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:31,230
It's a play on words.
392
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:42,908
May the Lord have mercy
on your gas-sniffin', orphan-beatin' soul!
393
00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:45,410
-Christ be with you!
-(horn honking)
394
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,620
Hey, Ned!
395
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:49,665
I just read about your park
in that horrible AAA magazine.
396
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:54,169
Ooh, Ned, look who's here.
It's that girl you don't like.
397
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,422
Not! (laughing)
398
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,758
Hey, your hair's grown back real nice.
399
00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:03,845
It's a wig. And let's never
speak of it again.
400
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:04,972
So what happened here?
401
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:08,058
How about I explain it to you
over a cup of coffee?
402
00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:10,477
That is if you're willing
to give me another shot.
403
00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:23,490
Are you sure you want to do this, Ned?
404
00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:25,284
I'm sure.
405
00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,875
-So how about a movie tomorrow night?
-Sounds great.
406
00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:38,422
I think Ned is gonna be all right.
407
00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:46,221
(disco music playing)
408
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,934
♪ Get dancin', dancin', dance ♪
409
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,353
♪ Dance ♪
410
00:21:54,771 --> 00:21:55,689
♪ Get dancin', dancin', dance ♪
411
00:21:55,772 --> 00:21:56,815
MAN: Keep movin'.
412
00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:59,526
♪ Here come DJ Disco Tex ♪
413
00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:01,653
♪ Truckin' with his Sex-O-Lettes ♪
414
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:04,740
♪ Get dancin', dancin', dance ♪
415
00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:06,408
♪ Guaranteed to rock the boat ♪
416
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:08,452
♪ Machine-gun rap and locomote ♪
417
00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:11,038
♪ Get dancin', dancin', dance ♪
418
00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:13,248
MAN: Come on, baby. Come out there
and dance to your song.
419
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,458
Turn yourself on.
420
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:17,127
(speaking Spanish)
421
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,713
Over Hollywood-- America needs you!
422
00:22:19,796 --> 00:22:21,298
We need you to go dance!
423
00:22:21,381 --> 00:22:23,842
We need you to get together
and boogie-woogie- woogie-boogie!
424
00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:25,260
-(murmuring)
-Shh!
425
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,305
(orphan girl coughing, wheezing)
426
00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:30,849
Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services