1
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:02,961
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,464
CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
3
00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:18,643
(bell ringing)
4
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,191
(whistle blows)
5
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:30,697
(beeping)
6
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,537
(playing the blues)
7
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:53,928
(tires screeching)
8
00:00:58,892 --> 00:00:59,851
(honking horn)
9
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,024
D'oh!
10
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,817
(tires screeching)
11
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,235
-Whee!
-Whoo-hoo!
12
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,863
-Ya-haa!
-Yee-- Oh! D'oh!
13
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,343
Son of a diddly!
14
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,849
-(rock music playing)
-HOMER: Mm-hmm.
15
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,602
{\an8}(humming)
16
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,649
-MARGE: Breakfast!
-(whistling)
17
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,692
{\an8}Breakfast? (giggling)
18
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,075
{\an8}Aww... cereal?
19
00:01:57,158 --> 00:02:00,078
{\an8}You know I like my breakfast fried
or chicken-fried.
20
00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:03,373
{\an8}It's a healthy cereal
from Europe,Meus-lix.
21
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,041
(all shuddering)
22
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,252
They also make Juice-lix.
23
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,254
(grunting)
24
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,172
{\an8}-(doorbell rings)
-That's Milhouse.
25
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:15,385
{\an8}-(ringing frantically)
-And it sounds like he has big news!
26
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,512
{\an8}-Yech!
-(groans)
27
00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:20,223
{\an8}I'll get us out of this. Say, Dad.
28
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:23,518
{\an8}Wanna go see my project
for the school science fair?
29
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,270
{\an8}No, Lisa.
30
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:29,649
{\an8}But I sure don't wanna
eat this crappy breakfast.
31
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,736
{\an8}(snickers)
32
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:37,907
{\an8}Meet Linguo, the grammar robot.
I built him all by myself.
33
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,702
{\an8}If you misuse language,
he'll correct you.
34
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,204
{\an8}Well, let's put him
to the test.
35
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,582
{\an8}Me love beer.
36
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{\an8}I love beer.
37
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:51,713
{\an8}-Oh, he loves beer. Here, little fella.
-Dad, no!
38
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,214
{\an8}Error.
39
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,717
{\an8}I'm sorry. I thought he was a party robot.
40
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,386
{\an8}Oh! This is why
I can't have nice things.
41
00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:02,348
{\an8}(groaning) Every time I design a robot,
somebody comes along and--
42
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:05,185
{\an8}-(sniffing)
-(humming)
43
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:08,396
{\an8}-Ooh! Can I have a brownie?
-They're for after dinner.
44
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:12,442
{\an8}-Ooh! Can I have dinner?
-You can't have a brownie, period.
45
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:16,237
-Homer wants a brownie. I'm gonna get one.
-No.
46
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,072
-Coming in from the left.
-Stop it.
47
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,073
-Or is it the right?
-Homer!
48
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,033
Look out for the reach-around!
49
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:21,075
Hup, hup, ah, oh!
50
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,995
He shoots, he sc-- (screams) My thumb!
51
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,624
-Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
52
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:31,419
(groaning) Sorry doesn't
put thumbs on the hand, Marge!
53
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:34,756
Well, calm down. If we hurry,
they can reattach your thumb.
54
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:37,383
Reattach a thumb? This isn't Gattaca!
55
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,385
-We've just gotta get your thumb to the--
-(both gasp)
56
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,887
MARGE: Where did it go?
57
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,224
-(gasps)
-(growling)
58
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,351
OK, boy. Drop the thumb.
59
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,144
(growling)
60
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,231
Nobody's gonna tackle you.
(grunts)
61
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,691
D'oh! Come back with my thumb!
62
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:55,860
(dial tone)
63
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,987
9-1-1. This better be good.
64
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,948
I cut off my husband's thumb.
65
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,033
Attempted murder?
66
00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:04,953
You'll burn for this--
burn in jail!
67
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:09,082
-It was an accident!
-Yeah, yeah. Save it for Dateline Tuesday.
68
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:11,793
Uh, what's your address
so I can come arrest you?
69
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:14,587
Arrest me? Um, my address...
70
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:19,133
it's, um, 123 Fake Street.
71
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,636
"123 Fake Street." Got it.
72
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:24,013
-Come on! Come on, boy.
-(barking)
73
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,058
Oh, please give it back!
74
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,602
You want people food?
I can get you people food.
75
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,688
-(barks)
-Oh!
76
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,731
I have nothing he wants!
77
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:37,277
{\an8}And Harry Potter
and all his wizard friends...
78
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,446
{\an8}went straight to hell
for practicing witchcraft.
79
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,698
{\an8}Yay!
80
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,617
-(barks)
-What the diddlio?
81
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,494
-Give me back my thumb!
-(barking)
82
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:47,704
-(grunts)
-(whimpers)
83
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:52,000
(whistle tooting)
84
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,002
(gasps, grunts)
85
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,838
(crying)
86
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,631
MARGE:
We've gotta get to the hospital, Homer!
87
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,551
OK. If the doctor asks
why you cut it off,
88
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,761
you caught me in bed
with four beautiful women.
89
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,722
-Let's just say that Bart did it.
-(crash)
90
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,725
Oh, doodlebugs.
91
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:13,896
My Ferrari!
I had to do awful things to pay for her.
92
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,066
-(grunts)
-Homer, help!
93
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:19,819
HOMER (whispering):
Marge! Over here!
94
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,950
-(tires screeching)
-(yelling)
95
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:31,122
(door sensor dinging)
96
00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:35,376
I'm sorry, Homer. Your H.M.O.
doesn't cover this type of injury.
97
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,503
But I have finger insurance!
98
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:41,007
-A thumb is not a finger.
-Isn't there anything you can do?
99
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:44,344
Well, I could cut off the other thumb
for a sense of symmetry.
100
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,845
Symmetry, eh?
101
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:49,390
Hibbert's really losing it.
We're going to Dr. Nick's.
102
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,393
We need more ice.
My thumb is fading fast!
103
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:56,439
Quick!
Moe, Marge cut off my thumb!
104
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:59,692
No problem. Just stick
the old eye-gouger in the pickle brine.
105
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,320
That'll keep your thumb
fresh and delicious.
106
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:03,529
Thanks, Moe.
107
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,490
Hey, ah, hey, ain't you
going to have a beer?
108
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:10,703
Well, I really shouldn't, what with
my massive blood loss and all.
109
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,955
Although I do like
the occasional beer.
110
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:13,915
(gulps)
111
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:17,502
Did you ever see
that Blue Man Group?
112
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:20,129
Total rip-off of the Smurfs.
113
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,757
And the Smurfs-- They suck!
114
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,760
(sniffing) Uh-oh. I smell gangrene.
115
00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,638
-We gotta wake him up.
-A little coffee'll do the trick.
116
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,392
(muttering) What?
117
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,519
Ooh! I gotta get to Dr. Nick's!
118
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:39,941
Where's Marge?
Oh, that is so rude.
119
00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:43,277
Oh! I know. I'll hitchhike!
120
00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,033
Oh, why isn't this working?
121
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,619
(country music playing
on car stereo)
122
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:58,334
-Hey, thanks for stopping.
-T'ain't nothin'.
123
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,003
You and me share
a common infirmity.
124
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:05,007
If anyone ever tells you
a hog won't eat a finger, they's lyin'.
125
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:09,220
-(tires screeching)
-(clucking)
126
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:15,184
Oh, crap! It's on fire!
127
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:19,063
{\an8}Inflammable means flammable?
What a country!
128
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,274
Can you drive me to
Shelbyville Hospital?
129
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,067
-I reckon so.
-(tires screeching)
130
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:26,821
Hey! Somebody done
"stoleded" my wheels!
131
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,740
Thanks a lot.
Now I gotta walk to Shelbyville.
132
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:32,493
(horn honking)
133
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,997
(moans) It's too late.
134
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:43,045
Well, old friend, we always knew
this day would come.
135
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,256
Say good-bye to your brother.
136
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:48,301
-(explosion)
-What the hell!
137
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:52,805
(gasps) Linguo... dead?
138
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,557
Linguo...
139
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:56,100
is...
140
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,312
-dead.
-(powering off)
141
00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:18,039
Son of a diddly!
142
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,462
(new Age meditation
music playing)
143
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,552
MARGE: Breakfast!
144
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,471
-(doorbell rings)
-That's Milhouse.
145
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:37,016
-(ringing frantically)
-And it sounds like he has big news!
146
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,810
-Yech!
-(groans)
147
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,688
I'll get us out of this.
Say, Dad.
148
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,858
Wanna go see my project
for the school science fair?
149
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,485
No, Lisa.
150
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:51,822
But I sure don't wanna eat
this crappy breakfast.
151
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,494
{\an8}-Here, little fella.
-Dad, no!
152
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:57,870
Error.
153
00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:00,331
I'm sorry. I thought he was a party robot.
154
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:02,959
Oh! This is why
I can't have nice things!
155
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,086
(groaning)
156
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:06,963
Every time I design a robot,
somebody comes along and--
157
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:07,880
(sniffing)
158
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:15,930
{\an8}Hang on, Linguo.
You'll be up and conjugating in no time.
159
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:18,516
HOMER (screams): My thumb!
160
00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:21,644
Quiet, please.
Some of us are trying to weld.
161
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:24,021
Almost done. Just lay still.
162
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:27,400
{\an8}-Lie still.
-I knew that. Just testing.
163
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:28,776
{\an8}Sentence fragment.
164
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:32,488
"Sentence fragment"
is also a sentence fragment.
165
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,491
-Must conserve battery power.
-(powers off)
166
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,868
-Just come on.
-(horn honking)
167
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:38,953
Uh-oh! The bus!
168
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,582
Hey, stop! Wait!
169
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:46,794
Oh! Any day
but science project day!
170
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:50,089
Kiss first place good-bye,
Lisa!
171
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,592
{\an8}-(sinister laughter)
-(electrical crackling)
172
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:55,845
Oh, no!
173
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,389
Somebody took my bike! (groans)
174
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:01,559
Mom, I need a ride to school!
175
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,936
MARGE:
We gotta get to the hospital, Homer!
176
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,563
(groans)
177
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,190
(music from Run Lola Run
playing)
178
00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:18,492
(screams)
179
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:22,288
Idiot!
You almost ran over a viewer!
180
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:25,916
And she's in our key demo!
Sorry about that, kid. Need a ride?
181
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,377
-Can you take me to school, Krusty?
-Hop in.
182
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:34,342
Hey, moron.
Springfield Elementary, and step on it.
183
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:35,968
(chittering)
184
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,472
(siren wails)
185
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,683
Hey, Teeny, you know where
123 Fake Street is?
186
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,060
{\an8}(chittering)
187
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,979
Ah, it's OK.
Hey, we got the same hat.
188
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,901
-Thanks, Mr. Teeny.
-(chitters)
189
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,492
-Wha--
-(speaking French) La grenouille
190
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:01,577
mange le pamplemousse.
191
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:06,207
ALL: La grenouille
mange le pamplemousse.
192
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:09,001
(in English) Huh?
This isn't Miss Hoover's class.
193
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:13,673
I do not know this Mademoiselle "'oovair"
of which you speak.
194
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,050
What's happening? Where am I?
195
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:19,470
Sacre bleu!
What a foolish question!
196
00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:22,515
You are at West Springfield
Elementary School.
197
00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:24,392
West Springfield?
198
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,104
I'm at the wrong school!
199
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,941
-(all laughing)
-En Français.
200
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,151
(haughty laughter)
201
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,362
(gasps) Sorry.
202
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:39,031
I was rushing because
I'm in the wrong school.
203
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,825
(giggles) Can you believe that?
204
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,368
It's understandable.
205
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:45,246
All the schools in this area
were built from identical plans.
206
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:48,457
I guess they didn't have
enough money to hire I.M. Pei.
207
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:52,128
Oh. You know about I.M. Pei?
208
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:53,921
I.M. impressed.
209
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:57,299
(both laughing and snorting)
210
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,677
-My name's Thelonious.
-As in Monk?
211
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,888
Yes. The esoteric appeal
is worth the beatings.
212
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:06,225
-What do your friends call you?
-I don't really have any friends.
213
00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,728
(gasps) Just like me!
214
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,691
("Happy Together" playing)
215
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,698
Oh, my God!
216
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:24,368
It's 11:15!
We've been spinning for hours.
217
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,496
I've got to get to my school
and hand in Linguo.
218
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,874
Oh, but I don't want
to leave you.
219
00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:33,252
You must. You can't sacrifice
grades for romance.
220
00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:36,172
-That's not the girl I fell for.
-Will I ever see you again?
221
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:39,967
Of course you will... at the magnet
high school. Now, go.
222
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,802
(music from Run Lola Run
playing)
223
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,806
(panting)
224
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,808
Hmm. It's noon.
225
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:50,102
That's about when Dad
gets the brew shakes.
226
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:55,441
My dad's not here?
I need a ride to school!
227
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,943
-Yeah, yeah. We all got problems.
-(whimpering)
228
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,989
Chief Wiggum, can you drive me to school?
It's an emergency!
229
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:05,159
Ah, no can do, doll face.
I got an informant wearing a wire.
230
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:07,745
(chuckles) Just like on Nash Bridges.
231
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,497
We're trying to get the goods
on some smugglers.
232
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,414
(frequency whirring)
233
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,959
FAT TONY: Why, I'd be delighted
to sell you some illegally smuggled goods.
234
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:17,713
-That sounds like Fat Tony.
-Only one way to be sure.
235
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,049
Fat Tony, is that you? Fat Tony?
236
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,926
FAT TONY: Hey, where's that voice
coming from?
237
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,762
-MAN 1: This guy's wearing a wire!
-MAN 2: Take him out!
238
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,889
(gunfire)
239
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,767
My bad. I can't work
my answering machine either.
240
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:32,269
(chuckles) Now I need a new informant.
241
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:35,356
Say, Lisa, people trust you.
How would you like to be a snitch?
242
00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:37,107
-The pay stinks, but--
-(footsteps receding)
243
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:38,776
Oh.
244
00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:41,445
Quick! Moe, Marge cut off my thumb!
245
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,447
(music from Run Lola Run playing)
246
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,034
-(horn honking)
-Lisa!
247
00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:49,495
Mom, where'd you get that car?
248
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:52,748
I stole it from McBain after I cut off
your father's thumb.
249
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,750
Can you take me to school, please?
250
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,794
Not right now.
Your father's in there, and--
251
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,755
HOMER: Did you ever
see that Blue Man Group?
252
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,966
Oh, he's on the Blue Man Group again.
253
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:03,634
Come on. We've got lots of time.
254
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,351
-(engine sputters, stalls)
-Oh, no!
255
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:17,815
We're out of gas. I couldn't figure out
this stupid Italian gas gauge.
256
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,900
Oh, I've gotta get to school!
257
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,444
(country song playing on car stereo)
258
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,573
Hmm. Let's hitch a ride with that hick.
259
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,658
(both panting)
260
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,538
Abracathumbra!
261
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,415
(laughing)
262
00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:38,168
Dang! You could be
one of them TV magic queers.
263
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,674
-(tires screeching)
-(clucking)
264
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,178
Shoo!
265
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,348
Mom, I have to get to school!
It's 10 to 3:00!
266
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:56,645
Well, I've already borrowed one car.
Let's go!
267
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,402
Somebody done stoleded my wheels.
268
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,238
Thanks a lot!
Now I gotta walk to Shelbyville.
269
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:08,991
There's the school!
270
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,869
First place, here I come.
271
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:16,332
(gasps) Look out!
272
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,625
Bart!
273
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,919
-(tires screeching)
-(gasps, screams)
274
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,475
Son of a diddly!
275
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,732
Hey, hey! Hey, hey! Hey, hey!
276
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,110
Lazy, huh? Get him, boys!
277
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,362
-(music playing)
-Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
278
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:47,863
OK, OK!
279
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,619
MARGE: Breakfast!
280
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,663
-(doorbell rings)
-That's Milhouse.
281
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:59,500
-(ringing frantically)
-And it sounds like he has big news!
282
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:06,006
{\an8}-I found something awesome in the woods!
-Is it a dead body?
283
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:09,426
{\an8}-It's cooler than a million dead bodies!
-(snickers)
284
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,428
You take my sister's bike.
285
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:14,640
Let's see. Front door. Back door.
286
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:17,059
Skinner's. Flanders'. Your house.
287
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,394
Ah! Lisa's bike.
288
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:26,235
-What's it like riding a girl's bike?
-It's disturbingly comfortable.
289
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,659
Whoa! How'd you find it?
290
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:37,621
-This is where I come to cry.
-Cool.
291
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,168
Wow! Sacks!
292
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,712
Burlap sacks!
293
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,423
It gets better. They're full of fireworks!
294
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:51,301
Bottle rockets, Frog-Launchers,
Weeping Mommas...
295
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,387
Tijuana Toilet Crackers!
296
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:56,265
Three, two, one. Gnomes, blow up.
297
00:16:57,725 --> 00:17:00,227
(both laughing hysterically)
298
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,317
(grunting loudly)
299
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,987
-(high-pitched screaming)
-We're not ready!
300
00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:11,321
(sinister chuckle)
301
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,992
-(grunts)
-Uh-oh.
302
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:20,497
So what are we doing,
a lengthening or a widening?
303
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:23,375
Yargh, uh... let's make it both.
304
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,962
-Yargh!
-Don't worry. It's inflammable.
305
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,633
Let's keep this our little secret.
306
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:34,970
-(siren wailing)
-Oh, we gotta hide!
307
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,598
We'll be safe in here.
308
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:46,023
Here we are. 123 Fake Street.
309
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:48,275
The home of Knifey Wifey.
310
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:51,236
Hey, Chief, can I hold my gun sideways?
It looks so cool.
311
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,322
(chuckling) Ah, sure.
312
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,324
Whatever you want, birthday boy.
313
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,620
OK, drop the knife, Stabatha! I--
314
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:02,456
-(both grunt)
-Great grilled-cheese ghost!
315
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:05,042
We've uncovered a hard-core cracker house.
316
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,877
There's enough Chinese sky candy here...
317
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,588
to put you boys away for a long time.
318
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:13,634
{\an8}I can't go to juvie.
They use guys like me as currency!
319
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:16,053
{\an8}Yeah. They'll pass you around like--
320
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,514
{\an8}Well, like currency, like you said.
321
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,474
Maybe we can make you boys a deal.
322
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,813
Your mission is to find
the fireworks smugglers
323
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:29,066
and get them to say
something incriminating on this tape.
324
00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:31,276
Hootie and the Blowfish?
325
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,445
Yeah. It's cheaper than blank tape.
326
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:37,032
Great idea to smuggle fireworks, boss.
327
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,409
Yeah, I was gettin' sick
of running those unions.
328
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,370
So much paperwork.
329
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:43,288
Knock-knock. Excuse me.
330
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:47,000
My friend and I were interested
in purchasing quality fireworks.
331
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,794
Yes, we are.
332
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:53,257
Why, I'd be delighted to sell you
some illegally smuggled goods.
333
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,468
{\an8}WIGGUM (on radio): Fat Tony, is that you?
Fat Tony?
334
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:59,763
{\an8}-Hey, where's that voice coming from?
-This guy's wearing a wire!
335
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:01,807
Take him out!
336
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,101
(grunting)
337
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:05,394
Whoa!
338
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,106
-WIGGUM: My bad.
-(grunts)
339
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:15,988
MAN 1: Hey, there they are!
340
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,991
Gentlemen, remove your guns
from your holsters.
341
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:20,951
-Shoulder or ankle?
-Surprise me.
342
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:25,289
-(both whimpering)
-(groaning)
343
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:28,876
Milhouse, quick!
344
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:33,964
(gasps) Look out!
345
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,257
Bart!
346
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,551
-(tires screeching)
-(gasps, screams)
347
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,219
(clunks)
348
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:42,389
-Ow! Mom!
-MILHOUSE: Hurry up, Bart!
349
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,322
(tires screeching)
350
00:19:58,405 --> 00:19:59,990
(both panting, gasping)
351
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,783
You ain't goin' nowhere!
352
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,036
You leave those boys alone!
353
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,998
-(grunts)
-(yelling)
354
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,293
Hey, they's throwin' robots!
355
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:14,171
They are throwing robots.
356
00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:17,007
He's disrespecting us. Shut up-a you face!
357
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:19,509
Shut up your face.
358
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,387
-What's the matter you?
-You ain't so big.
359
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,514
Me and him are gonna
whack you in the labonza!
360
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:28,727
Um-uh... mm... Bad grammar overload!
361
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:31,313
{\an8}Error! Error!
362
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:34,942
-(explosion)
-What the hell!
363
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,321
(gasps) Linguo... dead?
364
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,410
(both shuddering)
365
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,579
It's all right, boys.
366
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,748
Oh, thank goodness everyone's OK.
367
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:52,876
Except your thumb,
and Lisa's science project.
368
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,004
{\an8}I couldn't help but notice
your respective predicaments.
369
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,591
{\an8}Perhaps I may offer a bipartite solution.
370
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,598
There you go. Enjoy your thumb.
371
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,433
LISA: As the circulation returns,
372
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:12,354
the subject prepares
for a long and painful recovery.
373
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:17,526
{\an8}It's lucky for me that Legs
was an experienced Mob doctor.
374
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:22,364
He once pulled a slug out of my arm
and inserted it into a stoolie's brain.
375
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,533
That's a first place
science project, Lisa.
376
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:26,076
(all cheering)
377
00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:31,623
Boy, this sure was one crazy day.
378
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,043
-Right, Mr. Teeny?
-(chuckling)
379
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:38,255
(all laughing)
380
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:41,091
{\an8}(chittering loudly)
381
00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:44,511
(theme music playing)
382
00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:29,139
-(laughter)
-FRENCH TEACHER: En Francais.
383
00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:30,891
(haughty laughter)
384
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:33,435
Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services