1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:02,919
(theme music playing)

2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,589
CHORUS: <i>♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

3
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(bell rings)

4
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(whistle blows)

5
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(beeping)

6
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(playing the blues)

7
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(tires screeching)

8
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(honking horn)

9
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(tires screeching)

10
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D'oh!

11
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,817
(tires screeching)

12
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(siren blaring)

13
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(TV switches on)

14
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(Olympic Theme playing)

15
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{\an8}ANNOUNCER: <i>Welcome back</i>
<i>Great Moments in Olympic History.</i>

16
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<i>At the 1936 Berlin Games</i>

17
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,802
<i>Jesse Owens humiliates</i>
<i>Adolf Hitler</i>

18
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:36,012
<i>by outracing his zeppelin.</i>

19
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(exasperated grunt)

20
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,435
<i>1968, Mexico City,</i>

21
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:45,438
<i>Bob Beamon shatters the world</i>
<i>long jump record.</i>

22
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Woah, woah!

23
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-(tires screech, car crashes)
-(screams)

24
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(in German) <i>Ach, du lieber!</i>

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ANNOUNCER (in English): <i>And in 1984,</i>
<i>Portugal's Carlos Lopez</i>

26
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<i>becomes the oldest Olympic</i>
<i>marathon winner ever</i>

27
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<i>-at age 38.</i>
-(grunts)

28
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{\an8}(gasp) Thirty-eight?
That's roughly my age!

29
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:05,917
{\an8}Marge, after a lot of thought

30
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,420
{\an8}I've decided to run
the Springfield Marathon.

31
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{\an8}Oh, please, you get exhausted

32
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,551
{\an8}watching the <i>Twilight Zone</i>
marathon.

33
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,635
{\an8}(chuckles)

34
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,637
{\an8}I'm a regular Billy Crystal.

35
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{\an8}You got that right.

36
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{\an8}Well, Dad, I think
running's good exercise.

37
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,892
{\an8}It adds years to your life.

38
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{\an8}Stay out of this, Lisa.

39
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{\an8}Marge, I've made up my mind.

40
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{\an8}I'll do your job for a day

41
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{\an8}and you do mine.

42
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{\an8}Then we'll see
who has it tougher.

43
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{\an8}(haughty chuckle)

44
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{\an8}(door slams shut)

45
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{\an8}Good afternoon and welcome
to the 97th Springfield Marathon

46
00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:43,830
{\an8}commemorating the time
Jebediah Springfield ran

47
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,457
{\an8}across six states to avoid
his creditors.

48
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{\an8}You got all your equipment,
Dad?

49
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,461
{\an8}Let's see. Sweat band... check.

50
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{\an8}Anti-chafing nipple tape...
check, check and check.

51
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{\an8}Attention, runners:
on your mark, get set...

52
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{\an8}Now, get out of here
before I change my mind.

53
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{\an8}I can't believe it!

54
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,020
{\an8}I'm actually
running a marathon!

55
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,147
{\an8}Oh, I hit the wall!

56
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,690
{\an8}This is so painful!

57
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{\an8}Hey, I got my second wind!

58
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{\an8}D'oh! Another wall!

59
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{\an8}Woo-hoo! Third wind!

60
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{\an8}Faster, rickshaw driver,
faster!

61
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{\an8}Ow!
Sir, the whip isn't helping.

62
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{\an8}Silence!
You call yourself Chinese?

63
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{\an8}No one can outrun the Flash.

64
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{\an8}Curses, one of my superfoes
has set a trap for me.

65
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{\an8}(grunting)

66
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{\an8}(groaning and panting)

67
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{\an8}Hey, Grandpa's running.

68
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{\an8}That's not Grandpa.

69
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{\an8}Dad's just dehydrated.

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{\an8}(expanding squeak)

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(groans)

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{\an8}BROCKMAN:
And with 500 yards to go

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{\an8}the runners from Australia
and Djibouti are neck and neck.

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{\an8}Two weary warriors now burning
with pain and exhaustion

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{\an8}but only one will win
the grand prize:

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{\an8}a walking tour of Springfield.

77
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{\an8}(both panting)

78
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(chuckles) That tour is mine.

79
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(chuckling)

80
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Well, hold the phone, Dora.

81
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,834
A new challenger
has emerged out of nowhere.

82
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He's running on shear pluck,
moxie and grit

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all of which he'll be
tested for after the race.

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(Italian accent)
Hey, I win the race.

85
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Viva Italia!

86
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Folks, our winner seems
to be from Italy.

87
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I love-a you all.

88
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:28,142
I use up all-a my English.

89
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,315
<i>Grazie, </i>Springfield.

90
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,775
-(caws)
-(screams)

91
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,568
He's a phony!

92
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:38,820
Lousy cheater!

93
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:40,989
I demand a re-race.

94
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,865
I got a better idea.

95
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,201
Let's have a fun run
on his trachea.

96
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,244
-Yeah.
-Kill him!

97
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:47,578
Make him pay!

98
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,584
(tires screeching)

99
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,461
Get in, hurry!

100
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:56,546
BART: Mob... stranger?

101
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:59,173
Mob... stranger. Stranger.

102
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:01,175
(grunts)

103
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,094
(tires screeching)

104
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,178
Who are you?

105
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,639
Oh, you'll find out
in due time.

106
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,099
Well, it says here

107
00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:09,642
your name is L.T. Smash.

108
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The time has come.

109
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,187
I'm L.T. Smash.

110
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Thank you so much
for saving our son

111
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,818
from that murderous mob.

112
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:21,487
Well, thank you for letting me
chill in your crib.

113
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:24,449
And thank <i>you</i>
for assuming we're hip.

114
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:26,451
All right.
Now here's the 4-1-1.

115
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,161
I'm a record producer, see?

116
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:30,038
I'm starting a new boy band

117
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,748
and there's a place
in it for Bart.

118
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:32,790
My Bart?

119
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,418
Oh, yeah. That stunt he pulled
at the race shows me

120
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,795
he's the bad boy
I'm looking for.

121
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:38,921
(chuckles)

122
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,673
Now listen to me, Smash.

123
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:44,344
We're not signing anything
unless it's a contract.

124
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,636
Why do you want Bart?

125
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,472
He's not much of a singer.

126
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:51,017
Marge, it's not the singing
that brings in the Sacajaweas.

127
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:54,395
Bart's a rebel, and that's
what I need for my new band

128
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,688
the Party Posse.

129
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:59,275
Now hold on.
I have some concerns.

130
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,318
Please, Mom,

131
00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,528
my dream is to be a rock star.

132
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,906
And my dream
is to get rid of Bart.

133
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:07,700
-But...
-How many lives must you ruin?

134
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,118
Oh, OK.

135
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,044
Bart, I want you to meet
and greet the other members

136
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:19,045
of the Party Posse.

137
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:21,089
He's smart, he's soulful,

138
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,882
he's Milhouse.

139
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,217
What up, G Money?

140
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,010
Next, he'll break your nose,

141
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,553
your glasses, and your heart,

142
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:28,679
Nelson.

143
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,140
{\an8}Wait, these are just guys
from school.

144
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,101
Who's next, Ralph Wiggum?

145
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:36,187
Whee! I'm a pop sensation.

146
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,731
And I'm the mack daddy
behind such groups as

147
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,401
New Kids in the Ditch
and Boy-nudo.

148
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,611
I'm going to make you stars.

149
00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:46,030
{\an8}Sneer, sneer.

150
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,408
{\an8}Two, three, four, and thrust,

151
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:51,202
{\an8}and grab yourself right there.

152
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:52,995
{\an8}Now let go and flirt.

153
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,164
{\an8}You call that a flirt?

154
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,208
{\an8}I'm not melting!

155
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,544
OK, your tunes are fly,

156
00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,337
and your threads are dope

157
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,381
All that's left is the singing.

158
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,758
"Party Posse,
we rule the earth.

159
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,261
{\an8}The greatest band
since music's birth."

160
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:10,430
{\an8}Isn't this song
a little boastful?

161
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,765
{\an8}No one told me
there was gonna be boasting.

162
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,058
Just take it from the top.

163
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:17,728
{\an8}<i>♪ Party Posse </i>
<i>We rule the earth ♪</i>

164
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:20,231
<i>♪ The greatest band</i>
<i>since music's birth ♪</i>

165
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,024
(shudders)

166
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,193
Thank you, NASA.

167
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,195
(funky pop intro playing)

168
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:30,533
<i>(perfect harmony)</i>
<i>♪ We love to sweat and we love to sing ♪</i>

169
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:34,871
<i>♪ We're real funky</i>
<i>but not threatening ♪</i>

170
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:38,291
{\an8}<i>♪ We're the best band</i>
<i>in the world ♪</i>

171
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:42,086
{\an8}<i>♪ But we'd give it all up</i>
<i>for that special girl ♪</i>

172
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,588
<i>♪ You're my special girl ♪</i>

173
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:49,135
<i>♪ Special girl ♪</i>

174
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,470
(gasping and twittering)

175
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,054
<i>♪ You're my special girl ♪</i>

176
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:55,933
<i>♪ You... ♪</i>

177
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,813
So, from now on anything
caught in your zipper

178
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,566
will be handled
by the school nurse and not me.

179
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:07,987
And now are you adequately
prepared to rock?

180
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:10,114
(all cheering)

181
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,199
{\an8}Silence!

182
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:15,620
Here they are, the Party Posse.

183
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:21,292
Hello, Springfield!

184
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,752
Now here's a song

185
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:25,171
that your Principal Skinner
doesn't want us to play.

186
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,089
ALL: Boo!

187
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,382
That's not true!

188
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,926
This assembly was my idea.

189
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,386
I like your brand
of inoffensive pop rock.

190
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,471
Screw you, man!

191
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:35,056
We're going to play it anyway!

192
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:36,891
(all cheering)

193
00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:37,934
Mmm.

194
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:41,187
(pop ballad intro playing)

195
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:47,193
<i>♪ I saw you last night</i>
<i>at the spelling bee ♪</i>

196
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:52,865
{\an8}<i>♪ I knew right then</i>
<i>that it was L-U-V ♪</i>

197
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:58,955
<i>♪ I gotta spell out</i>
<i>what you mean to me ♪</i>

198
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:05,044
<i>♪ 'Cause I can no longer be ♪</i>

199
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,632
<i>♪ A silent "G" ♪</i>

200
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,176
<i>♪ I've gotta spell out ♪</i>

201
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,844
<i>♪ I gotta spell out... ♪</i>

202
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:17,265
<i>♪ I've gotta spell out</i>
<i>what you mean to me ♪</i>

203
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,976
Oh, man, they're going
to be big.

204
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,686
And you stood in their way.

205
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:22,937
No, I didn't.

206
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,565
I even came in early
and made orange drink.

207
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,649
Orange drink?

208
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,401
What, do you live
with your mama?

209
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:29,944
She's lives with <i>me.</i>

210
00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:31,862
{\an8}(audience cheering)

211
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,410
I can't believe it.
They loved us.

212
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:40,538
I'm wearing a bathrobe
and I'm not even sick.

213
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,623
Yo, dudes! Awesome show.

214
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,585
(gasp) It's 'N Sync!

215
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:51,299
(driving pop rock playing)

216
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:52,466
Word.

217
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,010
{\an8}What brings you to Springfield?

218
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,345
We saw your band formation
notice in the paper.

219
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,139
{\an8}Really? You saw our BFN?

220
00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,474
I can't believe
I'm meeting Milhouse.

221
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:01,517
Word.

222
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,643
(grunt)

223
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,271
So, anyway, we brought you
this wicked gift basket.

224
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,273
Stubble glitter,
a crowd taser...

225
00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:08,357
{\an8}"Crowd taser"?

226
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,900
Yeah, it's perfect

227
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,986
for getting through the fans
to your limousine.

228
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,904
(grunts) Yo!

229
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,656
-(watch alarm beeps)
-Dudes, we got to go.

230
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,700
Our clothes are getting
a little out of date.

231
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,493
To the Bandanna Republic!

232
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:20,494
Word.

233
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:24,332
(driving pop rock playing)

234
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,877
Now we got to send them
a basket.

235
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,005
BART: Oh, yeah,
that's the spot.

236
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:33,174
(groans)

237
00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:34,467
That is perfect.

238
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:37,928
Mom, can't Bart get his
massage somewhere else?

239
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,472
Don't be selfish, Lisa.

240
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:40,723
Will you two shut up?

241
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,392
I'm missing
precious VJ prattle.

242
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:48,105
Whoo! That was the latest ad
for Stridex Pads, medicated.

243
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,523
OK, coming at you

244
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:53,569
a world-premiere video
from P-Squared--

245
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,072
that's the Par-tay Pos-se!

246
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:59,867
Whoo, yeah! All right!

247
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:02,870
Rock! Whoo!

248
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:09,460
{\an8}<i>♪ Oh, say can you rock? ♪</i>

249
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:14,340
<i>♪ There's trouble</i>
<i>in a far off nation ♪</i>

250
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:18,552
{\an8}<i>♪ Time to get in</i>
<i>love formation ♪</i>

251
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:22,640
<i>♪ Your love's more deadly</i>
<i>than Saddam ♪</i>

252
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:27,186
<i>♪ That's why I got</i>
<i>to drop da bomb ♪</i>

253
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,734
Party Posse!

254
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,612
(indistinct chatter)

255
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:43,577
{\an8}<i>♪ Yvan eht nioj ♪</i>

256
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:46,622
{\an8}<i>♪ Yvan eht nioj ♪</i>

257
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,668
{\an8}<i>♪ Yvan eht nioj... nioj ♪</i>

258
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,921
<i>♪ Yvan eht nioj ♪</i>

259
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:55,464
You gotta love
that crazy chorus.

260
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,174
What does it mean?

261
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,592
It doesn't mean anything.

262
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,762
It's like "Rama lama ding-dong"
or "Give peace a chance."

263
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:08,811
<i>♪ This party is happening ♪</i>

264
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,939
<i>♪ It's no mirage ♪</i>

265
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,984
{\an8}<i>♪ So sing it again ♪</i>

266
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:18,070
{\an8}<i>♪ Yvan eht nioj ♪</i>

267
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,156
{\an8}<i>♪ Yvan eht nioj ♪</i>

268
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:23,659
{\an8}<i>♪ Yvan eht nioj ♪</i>

269
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:27,246
(indistinct chatter)

270
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:34,462
LISA: There's something
weird about that video.

271
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,505
None of those girls
has had three kids.

272
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,048
I can tell you that.

273
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:39,759
{\an8}No, something else.

274
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:51,353
{\an8}<i>♪ Yvan eht nioj ♪</i>

275
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:54,565
{\an8}Yvan eht nioj.
They keep saying that.

276
00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:55,941
Wait, what was that?

277
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,363
Uncle Sam?!

278
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,032
Let me play this backwards.

279
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:08,370
{\an8}<i>♪ Join the Navy ♪</i>

280
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,914
{\an8}<i>♪ Join the Navy ♪</i>

281
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,081
(gasps)

282
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:14,502
They're recruiting people
with subliminal messages!

283
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,045
(honking)

284
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:18,672
Otto, what are you doing?

285
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:19,840
I don't know.

286
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,967
I just got an urge
to join the Navy.

287
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,136
You're being brainwashed!

288
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,513
Yeah, probably.

289
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,139
Yvan eht nioj!

290
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,106
L.T., thank God you're here!

291
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,610
{\an8}The government's putting
subliminal messages in your videos.

292
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,278
Subliminal messages?

293
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,989
Do you have any idea
how insane that sounds?

294
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:46,867
Is that a Navy tattoo?

295
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:51,121
A Navy tattoo? Do you have any
idea how insane that sounds?

296
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,211
(gasps)

297
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,340
<i>Lieutenant </i>Smash.

298
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:02,550
Yeah, that's right.

299
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:05,761
Lieutenant L.T. Smash.

300
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,014
A wig!

301
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,183
But... but your pant legs...

302
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:19,066
Oh! How could you soil the good
name of Star Blitzzz Promotions?

303
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,442
Oh, come on, Lisa.

304
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,820
We've always used pop stars
to recruit people...

305
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,280
going back to Elvis.

306
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,198
Then there was
<i>Sergeant Pepper's,</i>

307
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,200
the Captain & Tennille,

308
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,160
and the Kiss army.

309
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,371
But you have recruiting ads
on TV.

310
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,456
Why do you need
subliminal messages?

311
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,250
It's a three-pronged attack...

312
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:39,086
subliminal, liminal,
and super-liminal.

313
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,212
Super-liminal?

314
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,755
I'll show you.

315
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,924
Hey, you! Join the Navy!

316
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,093
-Uh... yeah, all right.
-I'm in.

317
00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:47,803
Now that you know, Lisa,

318
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,973
I'm afraid
I can't let you leave.

319
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,100
Oh.

320
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:58,105
Wait a minute. Bart's band
is brainwashing kids

321
00:14:58,188 --> 00:14:59,857
with subliminal messages?

322
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,942
That's pretty far-fetched,
Lisa.

323
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,278
Are you sure someone
hasn't been bitten

324
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,946
by the jealousy bug?

325
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,741
(laughs) Here comes
the jealousy bug!

326
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,159
{\an8}-Gonna get you!
-Hey!

327
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,452
{\an8}-Gonna get you!
-Hey!

328
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:13,495
Cut it out. You're a grown man.

329
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,915
(gasps) I want to go home now.

330
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,833
Nobody's going home.

331
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,044
We're going to see
Bart's concert.

332
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,297
{\an8}LISA: An aircraft carrier?

333
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:24,924
{\an8}Oh, that's subtle.

334
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:28,886
{\an8}Good Afternoon and welcome
to the USS <i>Sea Spanker </i>Naval Museum.

335
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:30,763
Are you ready to tear it up?

336
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,306
(audience cheering)

337
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:34,350
I can't hear you.

338
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,644
(loud cheering and applause)

339
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,729
Do you maggots want to see
a show or not?

340
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,816
I mean, uh... uh...
here they are...

341
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,318
The Party Posse!

342
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:45,569
(cheering)

343
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:48,572
(up-tempo pop playing)

344
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,742
<i>♪ Had a girl in every port ♪</i>

345
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:55,829
<i>♪ From here to Barcelona ♪</i>

346
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,792
<i>♪ But now I'm docked in</i>
<i>Springfield ♪</i>

347
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:03,921
<i>♪ And, girl, I'm gonna</i>
<i>phone ya ♪</i>

348
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:05,005
(cheering)

349
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:08,384
<i>♪ Stormed a lot of beaches ♪</i>

350
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:12,513
<i>♪ But you're the one</i>
<i>that I missed ♪</i>

351
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:15,015
<i>♪ Let's get back together,</i>
<i>girl ♪</i>

352
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,850
<i>♪ Let's reenlist ♪</i>

353
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,853
Ow! Hot! Hot! Hot!

354
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,858
<i>♪ So sign me up</i>
<i>for a hitch of love ♪</i>

355
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:26,777
<i>♪ Recruit my heart ♪</i>

356
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:30,531
<i>♪ Four sweet years of love ♪</i>

357
00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:32,449
{\an8}Everybody ball-walk!

358
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:35,494
Oh, yeah!

359
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,000
Looking good, guys.

360
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,168
And double time!

361
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,508
That's it.

362
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:52,261
Protect the country.

363
00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:00,436
(growling)

364
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,646
Groovy, dudes.

365
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,398
Burn down the barbershops!

366
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,358
I hate America!

367
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,654
(grunts)

368
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,867
MAN: <i>Lieutenant!</i>
<i>Lieutenant Smash!</i>

369
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,493
Huh? Oh, Admiral.

370
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,620
The hippie fantasy again?

371
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,039
They're getting less frequent,
sir.

372
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,540
Excellent.

373
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,543
Well, there's no easy way
to say this,

374
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:27,671
the new administration is
shutting down Project Boy Band.

375
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,048
Shutting it down?

376
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,467
Permission to say,
"That's crazy," sir?

377
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,843
You won't say it's crazy

378
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,304
when you see next week's
issue of <i>Mad </i>magazine.

379
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,058
Oh, dear God.

380
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:41,977
{\an8}When this satirical bombshell
hits the stands tomorrow

381
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,229
your band will have
as much recruiting power

382
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,439
as a wax apple.

383
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:46,565
I don't follow, sir.

384
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:47,858
It's over, L.T.

385
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,277
(gasps)

386
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:55,991
<i>♪ Let's march all day,</i>
<i>and clean latrines all night ♪</i>

387
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,744
<i>(off-key)</i>
<i>♪ Don't bust me down ♪</i>

388
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:01,580
<i>♪ Let's re-up tonight... ♪</i>

389
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,165
-What are they doing?
-Oh, my brain!

390
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,918
(screeching)
<i>♪ Let's re-up tonight! ♪</i>

391
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,461
-You suck out loud!
-Major!

392
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:09,254
I'm outta here!

393
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:12,382
You fool!

394
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:13,759
Look what you done!

395
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:15,511
Well, now it's my turn.

396
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,804
Don't do it, L.T.!

397
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,347
You leave me no choice.

398
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:23,852
No!

399
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:31,068
(whimpering) No!

400
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:34,488
(all screaming)

401
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,787
So, uh... what songs
did I miss?

402
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:43,580
Dad, L.T.'s gone crazy.

403
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,290
(cackles)

404
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,042
Yeah, that's the look.

405
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,252
(chuckling)

406
00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:49,878
(horn blaring)

407
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:53,132
Do you think he's going
to do something dangerous?

408
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,299
How should I know?

409
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,801
Just keep loading missiles.

410
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,761
Pop music's hard work.

411
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:03,100
The Statue of Liberty?

412
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:04,476
Where are we?

413
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,853
(horn blares)

414
00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:10,524
All right, Posse,
that's our target.

415
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,152
(all gasping)

416
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:18,198
(gasps) Not <i>Mad!</i>

417
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:19,616
That's our nation's largest

418
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,035
mental illness-themed
humor magazine.

419
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,955
Why don't we call it
<i>Everybody Hates Raymond?</i>

420
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:26,999
(all laughing)

421
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:28,792
Well, we stayed up all night,

422
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:29,960
but it was worth it.

423
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:32,588
We can't let L.T. blow up <i>Mad.</i>

424
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,174
Tina Brown was just starting
to turn it around.

425
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:36,800
We got to mellow him out.

426
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,553
But how? We would need
the ultimate chill-out song.

427
00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:40,929
And fast.

428
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,307
(pop rock playing)

429
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,478
(screeches)

430
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:49,479
We heard what you said.

431
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:51,190
Yeah. Heard it old school.

432
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,275
(gasps) It's 'N Sync!

433
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,610
Can the chitchat, Milhouse.

434
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,278
We've got just
the song you need

435
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:57,613
to defuse this wack-attack.

436
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,031
Defuse it old school!

437
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,115
'Bout time.

438
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,161
Radical!

439
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,412
Awesome!

440
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:06,580
I can't read.

441
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:08,207
I can't sing without dancing.

442
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,708
Fine.

443
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,836
Thrust, spin, turn.

444
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,713
Pivot, pout, jiggy.

445
00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,673
Jiggy, robot, do-si-do.

446
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,467
And close with a <i>Matrix.</i>

447
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,553
(groans)

448
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,931
Nobody pouts going
into a jiggy.

449
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:27,017
-Yeah, that's stupid.
-I want to twirl.

450
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:28,393
Aw, come on, guys.

451
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,313
We've only got a few minutes
to... uh-oh.

452
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:39,529
Everybody OK?

453
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:40,656
Uh, yeah, I'm fine.

454
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,824
-Yeah, I'm fine.
-I actually feel better.

455
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,328
(laughing)

456
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:48,956
Well, boys,
the Party Posse is over

457
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:52,167
but at least I saved you
from a public spoofing.

458
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:54,878
Aw, man!

459
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,630
We could have been
on the cover of <i>Mad.</i>

460
00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:59,383
They called me "Smelson."

461
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:00,634
(laughs)

462
00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:02,386
(all laughing)

463
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,637
"Smelson."

464
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,847
It's funny 'cause you smell.

465
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,557
(laughing)

466
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:08,767
"Smelson."

467
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,394
I could have thought of that.

468
00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:12,020
Sure you could have.

469
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,480
Off you go now.

470
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,278
You know, we've had
a lot of fun tonight

471
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:20,904
at the expense
of the U.S. Navy.

472
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,489
But they're out there every day

473
00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:23,907
protecting us from Godzilla.

474
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,409
And don't forget pirates.

475
00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:26,410
And jellyfish.

476
00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:29,037
Those wack invertebrates
will sting you old school!

477
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,957
{\an8}So check out the Navy
for a two-or a four-year hitch.

478
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,667
We signed J.C. up yesterday.

479
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:34,710
What?

480
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:37,796
Nooo!

481
00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:44,886
<i>♪ Join the Navy ♪</i>

482
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:49,099
<i>♪ Join the Navy ♪</i>

483
00:21:49,182 --> 00:21:51,768
<i>♪ Join the Navy ♪</i>

484
00:21:55,063 --> 00:21:56,606
It's 'N Sync!

485
00:21:56,690 --> 00:22:00,068
(whistling theme song)

486
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,529
(all laughing)

487
00:22:02,612 --> 00:22:03,530
D'oh!

488
00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:05,657
I can't believe
I'm meeting Milhouse.

489
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,993
Yeah, heard it old school!

490
00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:11,371
No!

491
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:12,456
Bart was so cool.

492
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:14,583
-A little short.
-He's about this tall.

493
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:15,667
Don't print that.

494
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,794
(whistling theme song)

495
00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:24,176
{\an8}-Bravo!
-Word.

496
00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:25,552
{\an8}<i>That just sounds like something</i>
<i>I would say.</i>

497
00:22:25,635 --> 00:22:26,636
{\an8}<i>Shh.</i>

498
00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:30,515
Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services