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(theme music playing)
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CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(bell ringing)
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(whistle blows)
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(beeping)
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(playing the blues)
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(jazzy solo)
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(chimes)
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(tires screeching)
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(honking horn)
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D'oh!
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(screams)
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(tires screeching)
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(rattling)
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CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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{\an8}NARRATOR: They were the first
family of American laughter...
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{\an8}surfing a tidal wave of hilarity...
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{\an8}-MAN: Look at her vacuum.
-(laughing)
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{\an8}...onto the sands of Superstar Bay.
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{\an8}(dramatic cue)
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{\an8}But behind the chortles,
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{\an8}this funny fivesome was trapped
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{\an8}in a private hell.
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{\an8}Everybody wanted a piece of us.
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{\an8}They told us what to wear, how to dress,
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{\an8}which clothes we should put on.
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{\an8}The cops found me driving on the sidewalk.
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{\an8}I had no business hosting the Oscars.
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{\an8}After the show, Meryl Streep spit on me.
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NARRATOR: Tonight, the Simpsons
as you've never seen them before
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on Behind The Laughter.
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{\an8}NARRATOR: The Simpsons'
amazing journey began here
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{\an8}in the bustling heartland town
of Springfield.
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{\an8}On this unassuming street, two nobodies
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{\an8}named Homer and Marge Simpson
settled down to raise a family.
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First came baby Bart...
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then Lisa Simpson...
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(babbling)
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(chuckles, yells)
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(Marge grunting)
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And finally, Maggie.
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{\an8}(gasps) Eh!
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{\an8}Nobody told us how tough
it is to raise kids.
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{\an8}They almost drove me to fortified wine.
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{\an8}Then we figured out we could
park them in front of the TV.
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{\an8}That's how I was raised,
and I turned out TV.
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{\an8}I'd see them sitting on that
couch all day long,
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just staring at that Hollywood Hogwash.
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Our favorite show was Hollywood Hogwash.
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But we also loved The Dreck Squad.
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The Malarkeys, Dumbin' it Down.
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Sheriff Lowbrow.
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Home Improvement.
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But we never saw people like us on TV.
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TV families were always hugging
and tackling issues.
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Homer kept saying he could do
a more realistic family show.
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Finally, I said, "So, do it."
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Either (bleep) or get off the pot.
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NARRATOR: And (bleep) he did.
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Using his home as the studio
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{\an8}and his family as the cast,
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{\an8}this penniless peckinpah
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{\an8}shot a crude five-minute video.
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{\an8}My Funny Family, take one.
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{\an8}And... action!
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{\an8}Honey, I'm home.
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The boss is coming to dinner
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and I need a clean shirt.
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I haven't done the laundry yet.
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Mama Mia! Now I'll have to do it.
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(humming)
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Dad, that's too much detergent--
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Not now.
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I'm busy turning on
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this washing machine.
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{\an8}(deep voice) Simpson!
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Where's my dinner?
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Mama Mia!
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It was amazing how fast
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Dad betrayed his vision
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of a realistic show.
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OK, the material was a little corny
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but Homer and I
had real chemistry onscreen.
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Every day, I thought about firing Marge--
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You know, just to shake things up.
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NARRATOR: Homer didn't fire Marge,
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but he did shake things up...
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show business things.
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D'oh!
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(horn honks)
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{\an8}NARRATOR: He tried to show his demo tape
to the major networks...
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But couldn't get past the guards.
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(clang)
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(clang)
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(clang, clang, clang)
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Fortunately, I had a network connection.
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The man who cut my hair
was also President of Fox.
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(studio fanfare)
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NARRATOR: The Simpsons had
their foot in the door.
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Fox ordered 13 episodes.
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But would the public respond?
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{\an8}HOMER: M, E, R.
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-OK.
-RUPERT: R, U, P...
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-HOMER: You're almost there. Good!
-...E, R, T.
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-("Twist and Shout" plays)
-(screaming)
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♪ Shake it up, baby ♪
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-♪ Twist and shout ♪
-♪ Twist and shout ♪
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(laughing)
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(gurgling)
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I first knew the show was a hit
when I walked
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into school and a kid was wearing
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a Bart Simpson t-shirt.
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Fox had an endless supply
of clever slogans, man.
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Suddenly, I was invited
to every birthday party.
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Sometimes, I'd have to read the cake
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just to know who I was singing to.
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NARRATOR: The Simpsons was a smash.
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Viewers couldn't get enough
of the show's fractured take
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on the modern family.
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The funniest stuff
came right out of real life.
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{\an8}Son, let's go out for frosty
chocolate milkshakes.
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{\an8}Cowabunga, dude.
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{\an8}And... Cut.
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Dad, I've never said
"cowabunga" in my life.
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Your script sucks.
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Why, you little...
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(gagging)
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Hey, that's funny.
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(crew laughing)
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-(sputtering)
-(Choking)
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(laughing continues)
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And that horrible act of child abuse
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became one of our most
beloved running gags.
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NARRATOR: With Simpson
merchandise selling like crazy
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and Simpson Gin
wetting whistles worldwide,
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the money was pouring in.
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(laughing)
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(both growling)
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We were using $50 bills as toilet paper
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and toilet paper as dog toilet paper.
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(laughing)
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NARRATOR: Convinced that the good times
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would never stop rolling,
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the Simpsons moved out
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of their trademark house
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and into M.C. Hammer's.
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(thud)
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(grunting)
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We found a secret room that
was filled to the ceiling
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with parachute pants.
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I'm wearing some now.
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(humming)
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NARRATOR: But pants or no pants,
the Simpsons were flying high.
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{\an8}Yeah, I've seen all
the overnight sensations--
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{\an8}Brad Hall, Rich Hall,
Rich Little, Little Richard--
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{\an8}But the Simpsons blew them all away.
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{\an8}They even had a hit record.
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{\an8}Meanwhile, "Krustophenia"
sits on the shelf.
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None of us had ever sung before
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but Mr. Geffen believed in us.
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♪ We're gonna groove tonight ♪
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♪ We'll make you feel all right ♪
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♪ Simpsons Boogie ♪
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NARRATOR: "Simpsons Boogie,"
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"Lovely to love your lovin',"
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and "Simpsons Christmas Boogie"
went mega-platinum
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and swept the Grammys.
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Right,
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{\an8}and the award for
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{\an8}"Best Hardcore Thrash Metal" goes to...
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{\an8}"Simpsons Christmas Boogie"?
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♪ Simpsons Christmas Boogie ♪
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(growls)
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NARRATOR: For America's favorite family,
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everything was coming up roses
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but those roses contained
ready-to-sting bees.
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When we come back...
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I want to set the record straight.
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I thought the cop was a prostitute.
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NARRATOR: When Behind The Laughter
continues.
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(rock music)
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{\an8}(rock music)
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NARRATOR: By the end
of their first season,
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the Simpsons were burning up
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Nielsen Boxes in the U.S.
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and creating a sensation overseas.
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HOMER: Hello, Mr. Lobster.
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D'oh!
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(goofy, British-accented laughter)
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Oh, dear...
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Bathtubs of money,
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wheelbarrows of awards,
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fire hoses of respect--
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The Simpsons had it all.
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(whooping and cheering)
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(bored, halfhearted quasi-cheers)
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(groans)
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But behind the streamers and confetti,
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storm clouds were gathering.
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(thunder crashing)
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Figurative storm clouds.
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{\an8}Oh, Homer was spending money
like a teenage Arab, heh.
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He bought me a Rolex and Cashmere jeans.
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I felt kind of guilty
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'cause I was always trying
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to score with his wife.
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So, when do we start filming?
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Oh.
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{\an8}Even Bart was throwing dough around.
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{\an8}He paid me and Carl a 1000 bucks
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{\an8}to kiss each other.
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Hey, did we ever get that money?
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NARRATOR: But reckless spending
and interracial homoeroticism
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were just volume one
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of The Encyclopedia Self-Destructica.
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Even more harrowing were the events
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of one April afternoon.
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(spring squeaking)
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The script originally called
for me to jump the gorge,
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but I'd been up all night
paying people to kiss,
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so Dad volunteered to do the stunt.
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Everything was going great at first.
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I felt like I was king of the world.
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I'm king of the world! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
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Right about here
I realize something's wrong.
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-(screaming)
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Yup, there I go.
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Then came the rocks...
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Jagged rocks...
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-Hitting me with their jags.
-(groaning)
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NARRATOR: The sequence became
an instant comedy classic
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{\an8}but what the audience didn't see
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{\an8}was the unfunny aftermath.
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(agonized screaming)
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Mmm.
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NARRATOR: Somehow, Homer became
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addicted to painkillers.
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It was the only way he could perform
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-the bone-cracking physical comedy...
-Ow! My leg!
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NARRATOR: ...that made him a star.
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This is the worst pain ever.
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Stop pummeling me!
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(screaming)
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It's really painful!
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Why did I take such punishment?
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Let's just say that fame was like a drug.
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But, what was even more
like a drug was the drugs.
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NARRATOR: But despite
their mounting problems,
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the Simpsons' star continued to rise
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like a plastic bag caught in an updraft.
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LISA: It was such an honor
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to be on the Walk of Fame.
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I mean, there we were
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with Hollywood royalty
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like Milton Berle
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00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,295
and Nelson Mandela...
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And just a few stars down
from the Cheerios Honey Bee.
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{\an8}Awards and honors are great,
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{\an8}but they don't pay the pickle man.
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We were earning millions,
261
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:23,349
but we were always strapped for cash.
262
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,518
{\an8}One time, Lisa bought a first edition
263
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:26,977
{\an8}of Susan B. Anthony Man.
264
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,855
Her check bounced higher than Rubber Girl.
265
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,149
NARRATOR: Where did the money go?
266
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,902
Marge lost much of the family fortune
267
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:37,113
investing in birth control products.
268
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:38,781
I learned something.
269
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,158
When people reach for their diaphragm,
270
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,452
they don't want to see my picture.
271
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,205
NARRATOR: As the Simpsons'
money dwindled,
272
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,623
their expenses soared.
273
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:49,750
From the original group of five,
274
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,669
the cast ballooned to dozens...
275
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:53,963
then hundreds.
276
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,591
I'd never acted before in my life
277
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,136
but, uh, if the sea captain
could be in the show,
278
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:01,637
{\an8}why not me?
279
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,097
{\an8}I've even got a catch phrase.
280
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,473
{\an8}(imitating Edward G. Robinson) Nyah...
281
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,892
(quacking)
282
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,436
No. I lost it.
283
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,688
NARRATOR: Then another bombshell.
284
00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:13,232
An anonymous tipster alerted Uncle Sam
285
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:16,527
that the Simpsons were evading
their income taxes.
286
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:21,031
{\an8}(Apu's voice) Yes, I finked on Homer, but,
you know, he deserved it.
287
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:23,117
{\an8}Never have I seen such abuse
288
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,119
{\an8}of the "take a penny, leave a penny" tray.
289
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,956
{\an8}NARRATOR: The tax men were merciless.
290
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,041
Hey! What the...
291
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,085
(screams)
292
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,965
{\an8}Hey, they can't take our house.
293
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,760
My potbellied pig is in there.
294
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:41,844
(sobbing)
295
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,805
Oh, Mr. Porky.
296
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:48,100
(weeping)
297
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,438
NARRATOR: Inevitably,
the behind-the-scenes turmoil
298
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:54,565
took its toll on their TV series.
299
00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:56,150
{\an8}DIRECTOR: And... action!
300
00:12:57,401 --> 00:12:58,694
{\an8}Hold on. Cut.
301
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,988
-(groans) For crying out loud.
-Oh, man.
302
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:03,491
DIRECTOR: Bart, if it's not
too much trouble...
303
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,618
Fine. I'll do Teen Wolf III.
304
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:07,453
I've got fair-weather friends to feed.
305
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:10,873
Dad, I want to go to bed.
306
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:13,000
Aren't there child labor laws?
307
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,960
Who told you about those laws?
308
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:16,837
Was it Marge?
309
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,255
Hey, you've been riding me all day.
310
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,715
Why don't you poop in your hat?
311
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,675
Are you going to need us tonight?
312
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,219
I have ballet tickets.
313
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,387
Not that they'll do much good now.
314
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,473
NARRATOR: With the family in disarray,
315
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,141
episodes increasingly resorted
316
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,976
to gimmicky premises
317
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,686
{\an8}and nonsensical plots.
318
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:35,648
{\an8}I'm... An impostor.
319
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,735
{\an8}That man is the real Seymour Skinner.
320
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:40,945
{\an8}(all gasping)
321
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:42,488
{\an8}NARRATOR: Trendy guest stars
322
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:43,739
{\an8}were shamelessly trotted out
323
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,157
{\an8}to grab ratings...
324
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,951
{\an8}(electronic voice)
If you are looking for trouble,
325
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:47,952
{\an8}you found it.
326
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,578
{\an8}Just try me, you... Oh!
327
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,455
{\an8}(karate yells)
328
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,917
NARRATOR: But there were
bigger problems offscreen.
329
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:58,170
After judging a Miss Hawaiian
Tropic Beauty Contest
330
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,130
at The Sheraton Haleakalualea,
331
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,259
Bart created a ruckus
on a Hawaiian airline jet,
332
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:05,845
attacking several flight attendants.
333
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:09,348
While he was in rehab,
the part of Bart Simpson was played
334
00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:11,559
{\an8}by his good friend, Richie Rich.
335
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,936
{\an8}Bart, what do you mean you have jury duty?
336
00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:15,771
{\an8}Don't have a cow, Mother.
337
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,858
{\an8}NARRATOR: Fans reacted
to these slapdash episodes
338
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,317
-with yawns...
-(man yawns)
339
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,861
-Angry yawns.
-(angry yawns)
340
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,737
Desperate to polish their tarnished image,
341
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,906
{\an8}the family agreed to a live appearance
342
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,741
{\an8}at the Iowa State Fair.
343
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:31,036
Right from the start, I had
a bad feeling about that gig.
344
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:34,164
NARRATOR: It was an evening
none of them would ever forget.
345
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:35,708
-Or would they?
-(country music playing)
346
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,167
No.
347
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:40,129
(cheering)
348
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:41,714
Hello, Iowa!
349
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:43,632
Does anyone have a donut?
350
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,926
(laughing)
351
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,470
Now, Homer, this is no time
352
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,222
to be thinking about food.
353
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,099
Yeah, forget the donuts.
354
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:53,934
We're here to go nuts...
355
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,477
Musically, that is.
356
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,313
What kind of songs should we play?
357
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:01,066
Something that swings
with the beat of New Orleans.
358
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,818
No. Something that rocks.
359
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,653
That's the sound of today.
360
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:05,946
-Swings.
-Rocks.
361
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,406
-Swings.
-Rocks.
362
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,991
NARRATOR: Sadly, this argument
363
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,409
was not part of the act.
364
00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:11,744
I'll kill you!
365
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:14,038
(groans) You don't have
the guts, little man.
366
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,665
Folks, we're just having
a little family tiff.
367
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,958
If you'll just bear with us...
368
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,293
Oh, shut up.
369
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:20,836
Always trying to act so mature.
370
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,171
I'm glad you make the least money.
371
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,130
Oh, that's it.
372
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,091
-Hey! Hey, stop it!
-Stop it!
373
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,676
You-- Ah, let go of me!
374
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,261
NARRATOR: Before a riot could break out,
375
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,846
Jimmy Carter came to the rescue
376
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,473
with his comedy break dancing.
377
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:34,141
♪ Got a brother named Billy ♪
378
00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:35,309
♪ And my teeth look silly ♪
379
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:36,727
♪ Break it down, now ♪
380
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,270
(cheering)
381
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,941
(clamoring)
382
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:45,235
Oh, why you, I'll get ya... Oh!
383
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,285
NARRATOR: The dream was over.
384
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,663
(busy signal)
385
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:56,747
Coming up...
386
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,457
Was the dream really over?
387
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,668
Yes, it was.
388
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:01,877
Or was it?
389
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,921
And Homer finds a new passion...
390
00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:08,342
Dusting and polishing mixing boards.
391
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:12,388
When Behind The Laughter continues.
392
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:13,722
(rock music)
393
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:17,851
{\an8}(rock music)
394
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,356
NARRATOR: The Simpsons'
TV show started out
395
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:23,899
on a wing and a prayer,
396
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,151
but now the wing was on fire
397
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,112
and the prayer had been answered
398
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,113
by Satan.
399
00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:30,155
(laughs)
400
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,199
After the state fair fiasco,
401
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,368
none of the family
were speaking to each other.
402
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,537
{\an8}Fox put the show on hiatus
403
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,288
{\an8}and replaced it with hidden camera footage
404
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,457
from the dressing room at Ann Taylor.
405
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:44,294
That slugfest at the state fair
was really a blessing.
406
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,964
It gave us a chance
to pursue solo projects.
407
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:50,342
I returned to my first love,
the legitimate theater.
408
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,679
As a young female artist,
409
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:56,515
I really love living
in this East Village loft.
410
00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:57,975
-(knocking)
-Oh,
411
00:16:58,058 --> 00:16:59,184
that must be our new landlord,
412
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,103
Mr. Stingeley.
413
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,147
(evil laughter)
414
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,898
♪ Where is the rent ♪
415
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,859
♪ I must have the rent ♪
416
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,777
♪ Dollars, dimes and nickels ♪
417
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:12,823
♪ I need them all right now ♪
418
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,159
I literally chewed the scenery.
419
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:16,577
NARRATOR: The other family members
420
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:17,619
were also spreading
421
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,163
their creative wings.
422
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,956
Bart replaced Lorenzo Lamas
423
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,792
in the syndicated action series, Renegade.
424
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:27,129
If Esposito thinks he's
gonna muscle us, he's wrong!
425
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:29,173
I hear that, Renegade.
426
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,549
Let's do this thing.
427
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,387
NARRATOR: Marge put together
a nightclub act.
428
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,182
("I Shot the Sheriff" plays)
429
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,642
♪ I shot the sheriff ♪
430
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:44,313
♪ But I did not shoot the deputy ♪
431
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:45,939
♪ She didn't do it ♪
432
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,316
♪ She didn't do it ♪
433
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,485
So the next time you see a sheriff,
434
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,361
-shoot him...
-(all gasping)
435
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,988
-...a smile!
-(all sighing)
436
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,823
Good night, Laughlin!
437
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:55,908
♪ She didn't do it ♪
438
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,034
♪ She didn't do it ♪
439
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,577
(audience cheering)
440
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,245
NARRATOR: Lisa "sang," too,
441
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,207
in a tell-all book blasting the family.
442
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,584
To prolong the run of the series,
443
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:08,754
I was secretly given anti-growth hormones.
444
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:09,755
(all gasping)
445
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,507
(shutters clicking)
446
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,258
That's ridiculous.
447
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:16,261
How could I even get
all five necessary drops
448
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,763
into her cereal?
449
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,057
What?
450
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:24,061
{\an8}In that family, nobody trusted nobody.
451
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,940
They even brought their lawyers
to Thanksgiving dinner.
452
00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:29,608
So, uh...
453
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,568
How's everybody doing?
454
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:32,861
You don't have to answer that.
455
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,905
Shut up, all of you, or I'll sue!
456
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,991
Oh, save it for your next book,
you little snitch.
457
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,327
{\an8}That's assault! That is assault!
458
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:43,664
It was the best Thanksgiving ever.
459
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,624
I mean, emotionally, it was terrible.
460
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:48,293
But the turkey was so moist.
461
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,420
NARRATOR: The carcass
of The Simpsons' empire
462
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:51,880
had been picked clean.
463
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,801
But then came help
from an unexpected source.
464
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:58,470
{\an8}I knew there was only one person
465
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,472
{\an8}who could reunite this troubled clan--
466
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,432
{\an8}My old fraternity brother, Willie Nelson.
467
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,521
{\an8}I'd do anything for Kegmeister Julius,
468
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,606
{\an8}so I cooked up a phony awards show.
469
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,692
(warning buzzer)
470
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:12,943
Not again!
471
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,945
Time-saver, my ass!
472
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:16,613
When Willie asked me to be a presenter
473
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,198
at the New Awareness Awards,
474
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:19,533
I had to think about it...
475
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,493
for about a microsecond!
476
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,580
You just don't say "no"
to the redheaded stranger.
477
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,498
And when I heard it was for awareness,
478
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,083
that sealed the deal.
479
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,918
NARRATOR: Would Willie's
fence-mending eggs
480
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,211
bear fruit
481
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,546
or would his olive branch
482
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:33,755
be torn apart
483
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,799
by woodpeckers of mistrust?
484
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,467
(loud pecking)
485
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,094
That night, fate wore
486
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,180
a cumberbund of suspense...
487
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:44,725
(applause)
488
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:47,519
Thank you, Taco, for that loving tribute
to Falco.
489
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:51,190
And now to present the award
for "Most Violent Rap Group,"
490
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:52,900
Homer Simpson!
491
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,985
-Hi.
-(applause)
492
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,862
And Marge Simpson!
493
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,238
What?
494
00:19:58,322 --> 00:19:59,656
(applause)
495
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,033
What's she doing here?
496
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,368
And Bart and Lisa Simpson.
497
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:05,037
(gasps)
498
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,997
Hey, what's going on?
499
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,207
Well, I'll be honest.
500
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,499
The New Awareness Awards
501
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,043
are all an elaborate sham.
502
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,713
What? (sputters) I knew it was too good
to be true.
503
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,678
So this whole thing was just
a trick to get us back together.
504
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,305
I'm also trying to patch things up
505
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,265
between Van Halen and Sammy Hagar.
506
00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,184
(both groan)
507
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:28,518
But the main thing is for you folks
508
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:30,062
to stop this silly feud.
509
00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:31,563
Isn't that right, people?
510
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,357
(cheering)
511
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,861
Hug! Hug! Hug!
512
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,739
CROWD: Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug!
513
00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:43,533
Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug!
514
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:46,745
Hug! Hug! Hug! (cheering)
515
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,917
NARRATOR: The Simpsons'
bitter past was forgotten,
516
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,294
and now the future
looks brighter than ever
517
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,255
for this Northern Kentucky family.
518
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,966
{\an8}We put all the craziness behind us
519
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,468
{\an8}and now it's time to get back
to what matters,
520
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:04,471
{\an8}the show and the Sunday comic strip.
521
00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:06,056
{\an8}Which Homer writes himself.
522
00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:07,641
So you know it's great.
523
00:21:07,724 --> 00:21:09,268
Why, you little...
524
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:12,980
NARRATOR: So whether choking
their son or poking some fun,
525
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:16,149
the Simpsons will keep on
gagging for years to come.
526
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:17,693
(tape rewinds)
527
00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:19,194
I can't believe it.
528
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,113
We won another contest.
529
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:23,740
The Simpsons are going to Delaware.
530
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:25,617
I want to see Wilmington.
531
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,619
I want to visit a screen door factory.
532
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,329
This will be the last season.
533
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:32,499
Next week on Behind the Laughter.
534
00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:34,126
Huckleberry Hound.
535
00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:38,380
I was so gay, but I couldn't tell anyone.
536
00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:40,549
(rock music playing)
537
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,971
(disco music playing)
538
00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:55,397
SIMPSONS: ♪ We're gonna groove tonight,
we'll make you feel all right ♪
539
00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:58,066
♪ Simpsons Christmas Boogie ♪
540
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:03,113
♪ We're dancing to the beat,
we'll make you move your feet ♪
541
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:05,574
♪ Simpsons Christmas Boogie ♪
542
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:12,873
♪ Simpsons Christmas Boogie ♪
543
00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:20,630
♪ Simpsons Christmas Boogie ♪
544
00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,428
-(murmuring)
-Shh!
545
00:22:29,556 --> 00:22:31,558
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services