1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,631 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:08,967 (theme music playing) 3 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,727 (bell ringing) 4 00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:25,233 (whistle blowing) 5 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,322 (beeps) 6 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,662 (playing the blues) 7 00:00:58,933 --> 00:00:59,934 (honking horn) 8 00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:06,107 D'oh! (screams) 9 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,859 (brakes screeching) 10 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:10,820 (all screaming) 11 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:11,905 {\an8}(shredder whirring) 12 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:23,833 MAN: Tonight, on Guinness Book of World Records, 13 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,794 {\an8}a man who holds the current record 14 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:29,798 {\an8}-for least amount of faces, with none! -Help me! 15 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:33,259 {\an8}You'll also see the world's smelliest tumor. 16 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:37,931 {\an8}Ew... these records used to be real accomplishments. Now they're just gross. 17 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:41,017 {\an8}Plus, you'll meet a dog who can't predict anything. 18 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,062 {\an8}Then, three other things. 19 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:50,443 {\an8}When we come back we'll show you the contents of a supermodel's stomach. 20 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,488 {\an8}What an age we live in. 21 00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:56,199 {\an8}Oh, look at all that sweet 'n low. 22 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,034 Hey, remember the '50s? 23 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,870 Remember television, Coca-Cola, and Dick Clark? 24 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,831 (gasps) I remember television! 25 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:06,584 {\an8}Come join me, Wolfguy Jack, at Greaser's Cafe 26 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:10,505 {\an8}where it's 1955 every day of the year, baby. 27 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,799 {\an8}MAN: Actual year may vary. Consult calendar for current year. 28 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:15,468 {\an8}A '50s-style restaurant. 29 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,928 {\an8}What a neat idea. 30 00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,805 {\an8}Why don't we eat there tonight? 31 00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:19,973 {\an8}Ah, we'll go next month. 32 00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:23,601 (music playing) 33 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,027 (women screaming) 34 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,281 -(women screaming) -(exclaims) 35 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,787 Dennis the Menace? 36 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,873 {\an8}Yes. I was America's bad boy. 37 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:46,416 {\an8}I once hid my dad's hat. 38 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,501 {\an8}-(laughs) -Uh-huh. 39 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:49,627 {\an8}And another time, 40 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:52,255 {\an8}I accidentally stepped in Mr. Wilson's flower bed. 41 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,550 {\an8}(laughs) That was a two-part episode. 42 00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,594 {\an8}(laughs) 43 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:58,928 {\an8}I have to go. 44 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,848 {\an8}California, here we come. 45 00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:04,100 {\an8}It's not a real car, Grandpa. 46 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,227 {\an8}Allen Ginsburgers? 47 00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:10,398 {\an8}Unamerican cheese sandwich? Polio dogs? 48 00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:13,568 {\an8}It's clever how the names remind you of the '50s, 49 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:16,196 {\an8}and at the same time, tell you what there is to eat. 50 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,699 {\an8}Wow, look at this old-timey gizmo! 51 00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:21,826 (giggles) 52 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:25,038 I feel like I've gone back in a time machine. 53 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,415 Dad, they have those everywhere. 54 00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:29,459 What an age we live in. 55 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:30,460 (laughing) 56 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,630 (Wolfguy howling) 57 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,758 (coughing) Oh, man. 58 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,593 Oh, my throat doctor says 59 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,345 I'm not supposed to do that anymore. 60 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:44,515 OK, is everybody ready for our nightly dance contest? 61 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:45,850 {\an8}Dancing? 62 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:48,269 {\an8}Oh, no, you're not getting me on that dance floor. 63 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,979 {\an8}Don't try and make me. 64 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,273 If I have to get a divorce I will. 65 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:57,904 Our grand prize tonight is a vintage 1955 Harley-Davidson motorcycle. 66 00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,823 {\an8}(gasps) Oh! I need a dance partner! 67 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,075 (gasping nervously) 68 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:04,285 -What about you? -OK, Daddy-O. 69 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,789 WOLFGUY: Hey, hey, set your socks on hop and your tutti to frutti. 70 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:11,626 Here we go with "Mental House Rock" by Johnny Bobby. 71 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:14,879 ♪ Doctors threw a party at the loony bin ♪ 72 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,756 ♪ You got to be crazy if you want to get in ♪ 73 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,842 ♪ Napoleon is playing his imaginary sax ♪ 74 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,053 ♪ The dance floor is filling up with maniacs ♪ 75 00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,680 ♪ Let's rock ♪ 76 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,431 ♪ Do the Mental House Rock... ♪ 77 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,767 Ahhh! Ooh! 78 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,936 (grunting) 79 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:32,105 (screaming) 80 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,773 ♪ Let's rock ♪ 81 00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,441 ♪ Do the Mental House Rock ♪ 82 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:36,609 Whoa! 83 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:42,073 Wow... a '50s nostalgia cafe. 84 00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,492 ♪ If you won't dance with the doc ♪ 85 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:47,453 {\an8}♪ He'll give you electroshock Zap, zap, zap! ♪ 86 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:51,082 {\an8}Well, well, well, I've never seen such reckless disregard 87 00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:53,001 for a wife's well-being in my life. 88 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,794 You just won yourselves a motorcycle. 89 00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:55,795 Whoo-hoo! 90 00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:57,463 (crowd cheering) 91 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,132 It's mine. 92 00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:02,969 Finally, I've won the respect of my fellow ma-- 93 00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:04,095 Get away from it! 94 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:09,058 OK, hep cats, let's twirl some more platters at Greaser's Cafe 95 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,853 where the '50s are never going away. 96 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,565 Well, that dream is over. 97 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,483 At least we still have each other, right, honey? 98 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,985 Honey? 99 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,322 (howling) 100 00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:27,493 (coughing) 101 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:28,578 God. 102 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,749 (imitating engine) 103 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:39,213 Man, you're bending the hell out of that kickstand, Dad. 104 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,715 Why don't you just take it for a ride? 105 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:41,966 Promise you won't laugh? 106 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,259 Yeah, I promise. 107 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,803 {\an8}-I don't know how. -(laughing) 108 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,931 {\an8}You're kidding? (laughing hysterically) 109 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,351 {\an8}(laughing continuing) 110 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,729 You don't know how... (laughing continuing) 111 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,360 Will you teach me? 112 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,528 {\an8}(laughs) Of course. 113 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,030 {\an8}(snickering) 114 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,698 ♪ You showed me everything ♪ 115 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,910 ♪ Oh, you took me by the hand ♪ 116 00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:13,915 ♪ Puppy dogs and Lincoln logs and castles made of sand ♪ 117 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:18,461 {\an8}♪ You gave me the courage to spread my newborn wings ♪ 118 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:22,924 {\an8}♪ Like mayonnaise and marmalade and other spreadable things ♪ 119 00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:26,052 ♪ So I guess you are my hero ♪ 120 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:28,221 ♪ And there's something you should know ♪ 121 00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:32,975 ♪ I want to make it clear so I'm gonna sing it slow ♪ 122 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,646 ♪ If you weren't a man ♪ 123 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:39,690 ♪ And my father too ♪ 124 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,735 ♪ I'd buy you a diamond ring ♪ 125 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:46,739 ♪ And then I'd marry you ♪ 126 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,282 (owl hoots) 127 00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:54,038 All right, class, today, we'll be sitting quietly in the dark 128 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,124 because teacher has a hangover. 129 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:58,543 {\an8}-(Harley engine roars) -Oh, it's like a chain saw in my head. 130 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,213 (exclaims) Oh! 131 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,800 -Later, Homer. -Sweet hog, Mr. Simpson. 132 00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:07,760 Remember to rebel against authority, kids. 133 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,431 SKINNER: Don't listen to him, children. 134 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,850 {\an8}But we already did, 135 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,561 {\an8}now I can't get it out of my head! 136 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:18,104 {\an8}-Ow! -Thank you, Nelson. 137 00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:23,234 The sermon today is on John 4:13. 138 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:24,652 (Harley engine revving) 139 00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,362 I think it was Jesus... 140 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,905 (engine revving) 141 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,449 ...who said, "blessed are those..." 142 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,159 Oh, the heck with it! 143 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,410 Church dismissed. 144 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,495 (cheering) 145 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,082 (engine on idle) 146 00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,752 Will you turn that engine off? 147 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:45,256 Quiet, Marge. The motorcycle and I are trying to sleep. 148 00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:50,595 -(revs) -I know, I know, just tune her out. 149 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:53,598 MAN: And now, back to your Tuesday morning movie. 150 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,769 Oh, I don't know what's come over Jimmy. 151 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:02,440 He won't do his homework, he only salutes the flag with one finger, 152 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:05,485 and he comes home every night with other people's blood on his shirt. 153 00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,777 He's a rebel, I tell you. 154 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,613 A rebel without a cause. 155 00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:11,157 Just like that boy in that popular movie we saw. 156 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:13,534 (yelling) 157 00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:18,664 Yeah, that's the life for me, Marge... 158 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:21,501 cruising and hassling shopkeepers. 159 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:25,129 When will you teens learn to be uncool like everyone else? 160 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,924 -Never, pops. -That's right, never! 161 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,968 Yeah, you can arrest me, but you'll never defeat the Cobras. 162 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,304 Nothing can defeat a motorcycle gang. 163 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,393 {\an8}A gang. 164 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,271 {\an8}-That's the answer. -Answer to what? 165 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,065 {\an8}Hey, don't make me hassle you, Lisa. 166 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:47,818 {\an8}(sputters) 167 00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:51,113 You know, if you want to be in the gang, 168 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,366 eventually you're gonna have to get motorcycles. 169 00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:54,575 Yeah, we know. 170 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,327 Hey, Homer, can I join? 171 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,246 This gang's for rebels, Flanders, 172 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,956 -not conformos. -Yeah. 173 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,123 -That's right. -Buzz off. 174 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,917 Well, if I were a member, 175 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,169 we could use my rumpus room as our lair. 176 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,129 That guy just don't get it, do he? 177 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,924 My rumpus room with the new bumper pool table? 178 00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:11,133 -Bumper pool! -You're kidding me. 179 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,218 (indistinct chatter) 180 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,765 The first meeting of Hell's Satans 181 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,141 is called to order. 182 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,018 I move we reconsider our club name. 183 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:23,020 Make it something a little less blasphemous. 184 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,690 After all... (chuckles) we don't want to go to hell. 185 00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:27,441 How about the Devil's Pals? 186 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,652 -No. -Or the Christ Punchers? 187 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:33,614 The Christ-- I don't think you understand my objection. 188 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,367 I'm the president and the decision is mine. 189 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:37,952 {\an8}We're Hell's Satans. 190 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:40,371 {\an8}Besides, I already made our club jackets. 191 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,583 Oh, machine wash warm. 192 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,960 Tumble dry... ooh la la. 193 00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:52,466 (rings bell) 194 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,759 Wait up, guys. 195 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,386 I got to empty my grass bag. 196 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,391 Hell's Satans, huh? 197 00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,393 I'm watching you punks. 198 00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,145 Can't hassle us, pig. 199 00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,938 We're going the speed limit. 200 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,189 Oink, oink, oink. 201 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:10,401 (laughing and oinking) 202 00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,903 You'll make a mistake some day, 203 00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,947 and then you're going straight to juvie. 204 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,490 You can lock us away, 205 00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,784 but you'll never defeat the Cobras. 206 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:21,746 {\an8}-The Cobras? -I thought you were the Hell's Satans. 207 00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:24,332 {\an8}Well, uh... Oink, oink, oink. 208 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:36,218 {\an8}Oh, how can I be down a thousand bucks? 209 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,219 (bell pings) 210 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,597 Get away from my store, you young hoodlums. 211 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,350 And what if we don't, pops? 212 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,311 -He's got a broom. -Let's get out of here. 213 00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:47,897 -Forget the pennies. Go, go! -(moaning) 214 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:53,277 You promised me, no more brooms. 215 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:56,238 I know this is not your way, but we're in America now. 216 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:03,496 (gasps) They printed my photo of our gang. 217 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,165 Oh, looks great. 218 00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:07,917 Can't take a bad picture of that guy. 219 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,921 (gasps) You took a picture of me when I was asleep? 220 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,632 If you'd been awake, you would have said no. 221 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,217 You can see the bind I was in. 222 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,553 "Her turn-ons include thievery and liquor. 223 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,138 Her turn-offs include 224 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:25,101 underpants, pedestrians, and justice." Oh! 225 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,185 (people screaming) 226 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:27,728 What in the world? 227 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,535 (screams) 228 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:45,705 We're the Hell's Satans out of Bakersfield. 229 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,039 You're the Hell's Satans? 230 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,791 What a fun coincidence. 231 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,084 My gang's name is also the-- 232 00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:51,919 Shut up! 233 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:54,338 You stole our club name. 234 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:57,174 {\an8}According to our bylaws, we got to stomp you. 235 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,259 {\an8}(shrieks) 236 00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:00,636 {\an8}-Take off that jacket, man. -OK. 237 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:04,598 -(gasping) -Now, eat it. 238 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:05,683 (whimpering) All right. 239 00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:08,227 (Homer chewing and swallowing) 240 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,401 Hey, hey, chew with your mouth closed, please. 241 00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,485 {\an8}(muffled) Sorry. 242 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,321 {\an8}Done. 243 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:22,450 {\an8}OK, Meathook, I think he learned his lesson. 244 00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,993 Oh, man. 245 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,079 {\an8}-Now you got to eat that, too. -Oh! 246 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,457 You got anything else with our logo on it? 247 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,292 Caps and frisbees, sir. 248 00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,085 You've got to eat them, too. 249 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,545 {\an8}And some pogs. 250 00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,923 ("Me and the Boys" by NRBQ playing) 251 00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,855 -Ew! -Ah! 252 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:54,982 You keep it. 253 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:07,828 I think it's great you've chosen to "crash" here, 254 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,289 but do you have to be so messy? 255 00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:13,542 Yeah, it's part of being a low-life. (spits) 256 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:15,628 (grunts) 257 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:21,801 Hello, police, can you send a SWAT team 258 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:25,262 to 742 Evergreen Terr-- 259 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:29,391 Forget it, Simpson. Those pig noises you made really hurt my feelings... 260 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,352 looking like a pig as I do. 261 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,646 But you have so much inner beauty. 262 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:35,815 Well, uh, be that as it may... 263 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,025 uh, the gang is wanted in eight other states 264 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,152 and we have a little saying around here, 265 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,904 "Let Michigan handle it." 266 00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,489 {\an8}-(beep) -(shudders) 267 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:46,826 (both growling) 268 00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:49,829 {\an8}(grunting) 269 00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,375 -(grunts) -Stop that! 270 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:57,670 If you want some food I'll be happy to make you some breakfast. 271 00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:59,046 I'd kill for some waffles. 272 00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,882 He has. Remember the IHOP in Oakland? 273 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,844 (both laughing) 274 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,270 Hey, this is a lot better than that rancid filth 275 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,688 we find in the dumpsters. 276 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,314 Thank you, Ramrod. 277 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:20,401 Marge, how did you get my jacket so clean? 278 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:23,571 I've tried everything to get those blood and puke stains out. 279 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,990 I've tried hitting 'em, I've tried yelling at 'em... 280 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:29,326 All it takes is the right cleanser and a little elbow grease. 281 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:32,121 {\an8}Do you have anything that will get this emblem back on my jacket? 282 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,831 I tried spitting at it, you know, but... 283 00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:35,875 Just put it on my sewing pile. 284 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:39,628 OK, I'm doing another load of bandannas. 285 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,048 (Bart humming) 286 00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:46,343 Hey, hey, that's leave-in conditioner. 287 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,345 -You're done. Next. -(shivers) 288 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,639 Dad, I'm tired of bathing in the yard, 289 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,309 plus I think Rod and Todd are watching. 290 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,060 No, we're not. 291 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:02,192 OK, bikers, that's it. Benjamin Franklin once said 292 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:05,112 that house guests are like fish that... that... huh? 293 00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,823 They're gone. Whoo-hoo! 294 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,160 {\an8}And those bikers saw that hard look in my eye... 295 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,037 {\an8}you know that hard look I get sometimes, 296 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,372 {\an8}and they ran away like schoolgirls 297 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,374 {\an8}with their tails between their legs. 298 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,252 {\an8}(screams like a girl) 299 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:21,211 {\an8}Way to go, Dad. 300 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,880 {\an8}Hey, where's the food? 301 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,715 And why aren't I at school? 302 00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:27,468 Yeah, someone really dropped the ball here. 303 00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:30,012 Marge? Marge? 304 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,348 {\an8}Dad, there's a note on the back of your head. 305 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:33,724 {\an8}Really? Read it. 306 00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:37,227 {\an8}Hmm. "Thanks for letting us crash in your pad. 307 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,687 {\an8}We had a very nice time." 308 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:39,939 Aw, that's sweet. 309 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,398 {\an8}"PS: We've taken your old lady." 310 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,358 D'oh! 311 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,280 (Marge screaming) 312 00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,283 Could you at least tell me 313 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,160 what you're planning to do with me? 314 00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:55,537 {\an8}Oh, don't worry. You're completely safe. 315 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:59,291 {\an8}-None of us finds you sexually attractive. -None of you? 316 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:02,503 Really? I could have sworn that Ramrod... 317 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,715 Mm. Well, did you see that picture of me in... 318 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,134 And you still don't... 319 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,552 Sorry. 320 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,347 Hmm. Well, good, I guess. 321 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,185 Now don't worry, I'm gonna search high and low for your mother, 322 00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:19,979 but just in case I don't find her... 323 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,272 I want you to contact this agency. 324 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,733 {\an8}Korean love brides? 325 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,235 I just don't want to be alone. 326 00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:39,456 (loud rock music blaring) 327 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,291 ♪ Well, look here, baby... ♪ 328 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,502 HOMER: Excuse me, has anyone seen a woman wearing... 329 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,339 (music stops) 330 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,716 {\an8}(grunting) 331 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,092 That's more like it. 332 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,635 I'm looking for-- (yells) 333 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:54,013 (music resumes) 334 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:57,016 (moaning) Ahhh! 335 00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:01,020 (groans) I'll show you. 336 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:07,568 (clearing throat) OK, we kind of got off on the wrong foot there. 337 00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:10,946 Long story short, my "old lady" was-- 338 00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,826 Uh? Whazza-- (moaning) 339 00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:18,120 Some people never learn. 340 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,204 -(blow landing) -HOMER: Ahhh! 341 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,873 {\an8}All right, Satans, 342 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,625 -we roll out at dawn. -Where are we going? 343 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:27,379 To the bikers' jamboree in South Dakota. You'll love it. 344 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,548 Mickey Rourke's coming and we're going to jump him. 345 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:33,010 You know, there's more to life than boozing and roughhousing. 346 00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,386 (all gasping) 347 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,513 Haven't any of you ever had a dream? 348 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,223 Yeah, I had a dream. 349 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,392 I was in this beautiful garden 350 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:43,020 pounding the crap out of a shopkeeper and then-- 351 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:47,107 No, no, I mean the dream of a good job, a loving family, 352 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:50,360 -and a home in the suburbs. -Oh, man. 353 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:53,447 To get all that you'd have to kill, like, 50 people. 354 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,657 No, you don't have to kill anyone. 355 00:17:55,741 --> 00:18:00,704 Not if you have jobs. And the first step is an eye-catching "resumay." 356 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:03,290 No, I believe it's pronounced resume. 357 00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:04,833 Actually both are acceptable. 358 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,294 Yeah, I did see some bikers 359 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:09,254 ride by here with a blue-haired woman 360 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:12,174 about ten minutes ago. Said they were gonna spend the night 361 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:16,095 at Crystal Lake Campground, section K, space 217. 362 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,347 I'm sorry I can't be of more help. 363 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,099 I guess I'll never find her. 364 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,478 And when you get a job interview 365 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:27,606 try not to call your employer a punk... 366 00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:29,733 -or a skank. -Makes sense. 367 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:32,361 Oh, don't call them skanks. 368 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,113 Uh, Miss Simpson, 369 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,906 I killed my pencil. 370 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:39,868 Broke. You broke your pencil. 371 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,121 I broke him. 372 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,456 That's right, and what else have we learned? 373 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:45,707 Oh, oh! 374 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,460 That, uh, violence is wrong. 375 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,420 Excellent, Ramrod. 376 00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:53,215 Civilized people solve their disputes with words. 377 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,967 (screams) 378 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:57,845 Homer, stop! No, you don't understand! 379 00:18:57,928 --> 00:18:59,429 (screaming) 380 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,558 (screaming) 381 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,477 -(groans) -Marge... What do we do here, Marge? 382 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:06,895 He's using violence. 383 00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,064 Talk to him. 384 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,774 Use your words. 385 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,776 Homer, Homer, stop it. 386 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,070 We've given up our violent ways. 387 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,156 We just wanna live peacefully... 388 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,991 -with your wife. -No! 389 00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:22,369 My wife is not a doobie to be passed around. 390 00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:25,164 I took a sacred vow on my wedding day 391 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:27,374 to bogart her forever. 392 00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,751 Oh, Homie. 393 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,171 {\an8}There's only one reasonable way to settle this... 394 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:36,008 {\an8}you and me, in the circle of death. 395 00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,635 Oh, I just swept the circle of death. 396 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,142 (both growling) 397 00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:47,352 (chanting) Fight, fight, fight, fight. 398 00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:49,855 (both grunting) 399 00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:58,197 Uh-oh. (screaming) 400 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,119 (Homer grunts) 401 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:07,289 {\an8}We both knew it'd come to this. 402 00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:09,625 You and me, chopper to chopper. 403 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,211 (yelling and grunting) 404 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:23,847 {\an8}You know what I'm gonna do after I kill you? 405 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,391 {\an8}-Take your wallet. -Never. 406 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,310 {\an8}It was a gift from Newsweek. 407 00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:30,354 (screams) 408 00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:31,813 -(Homer whimpering) -MARGE: Homer! 409 00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:35,275 (grunting) 410 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,324 Give me back my wife. 411 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:44,201 OK, OK, you win. 412 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,249 I don't blame you for wanting her back so bad. 413 00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,917 A woman like that only comes along 414 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,378 -every couple of miles. -Ah. 415 00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:57,589 Hey, can we at least keep her till the orgy in San Berdoo? 416 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,466 -What do you say, honey? -No! 417 00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:01,343 No dice. 418 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:02,678 (engines idling) 419 00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:05,597 Good-bye, everybody. 420 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,557 Bye, Mrs. Simpson. 421 00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,726 -Good-bye, Marge. -Bye-bye, Mrs. S. 422 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:12,980 We'll stop at the nearest town and mail our "resumays." 423 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,357 Resumays... it still sounds weird to me. 424 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,036 Why are we stopping here? 425 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,456 Taking care of some unfinished business. 426 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,836 -MAN: Hey... -HOMER: (screams) Go, go, go. 427 00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:47,306 {\an8}(theme music playing) 428 00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:26,261 Shh! 429 00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,850 {\an8}Captioned by Visual Data Media Services